


Devil with the Angel's Eyes

by SariaAhmed



Category: The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
Genre: Child Abuse, Dysfunctional Relationships, M/M, Multi, Protective Siblings, brother sister sociopath manipulative violent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-14
Updated: 2013-10-21
Packaged: 2017-12-11 20:55:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 37
Words: 305,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/803179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SariaAhmed/pseuds/SariaAhmed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You've seen us on the streets of Kabul. Cruel, sadistic Assef Ahmed and his equally cold-hearted sister, Saria. You've heard the rumours. You think of us as ruthless, evil killers with no remorse. You think you understand us. But you don't. I assure you, you don't. All you know of us is what people have told you. But this is our story. Not theirs. And we are not the monsters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting Saria

**Author's Note:**

> This fan story is based on Khaled Hosseini's best-selling novel, and centres around my Original Character, Saria Adelah Ahmed, the younger sister of the novel's antagonist Assef. The following story was only meant to be a mere 2-3 chapters in length, but it has grown to over 31 chapters since then, with more and more being planned and written. I want to thank my friend Christany for her help and support throughout the writing of this story. She's been great at helping plan and write later chapters. This is an OC centric story with the canon characters explored being ones that didn't have much, if any screen time in the original work. 
> 
> Please note that this story has strong language, racism, and violent/mature themes, as it is meant to reflect Saria and Assef's violent and sociopathic natures, and is told in Saria's perspective. I look forward to hearing all feedback, and all comments/criticisms are welcomed.

"Can't wear this, or this, or this!" I moaned to myself as I threw an assortment of clothes on the bed. My once tidy room now looked unrecognizable. Oh well, I guess that's what servants are for, right? I had now gone through practically everything I owned in my wardrobe, and still I had nothing to wear. And we were twenty minutes away from leaving to go to the "playdate." I flopped face-down on my bed. "Ugh!" I groaned. "Stupid clothes, can't I have anything that isn't shitty once in a while?"

In the end, I settled for a white dress with a sunflower on it. I hated the floral abomination. A four-year-old would have been so excited to wear it. I however, wanted nothing more than to throw it in the trashcan and be done with it. I didn't want to go to this stupid party but my parents were making me. They were worried that a girl my age still didn't have any friends, so they tried to set me up with Adia. Adia was ten, a year younger than me, and much too nice for me to want anything to do with her. You know those people who are so sweet it makes you physically sick? Yeah, that was Adia. In a nutshell. I hated her, but I couldn't let my parents know this. The worst part was that this was a sleepover. Yeah.

I had to deal with the annoying bitch all night. I didn't know how I was going to live through it, but I guess I had to. For the cause. Whatever the cause is, I'm not sure. But hey, isn't that what people always say when they do something torturous? I took a quick look at myself in the mirror before I left the room. With my blonde hair and blue eyes I was an odd sight here in Afghanistan. There weren't a lot of German people here like my mother. I went downstairs where my mom, dad, and older brother were waiting for me by the front door.

"Are you excited, Saria?" Mama asked me. I nodded. What else could I do?

"Yeah, I guess," I said, shrugging. I think Mama saw my shrug, but she didn't say anything about it. She merely gushed about "her baby's first sleepover" and gave me a humongous wet kiss, before running into the kitchen, in tears. That's right. _Tears_ _!_ I can imagine what she'll be like on my wedding day.

Then Papa grinned at me and said, "Women, _eh_? I'm going to get my coat. I'll be back in two moments." He bustled off, humming some strange song to himself.

While he was gone, my brother, Assef, came over to me. He fished around in his pocket for some time, then pressed something heavy and sharp into my open palm _._ I knew exactly what it was he was giving me. Stainless steel brass knuckles. I had seen him use them only once but I knew the damage they could cause. Was I really ready for this?

"Assef.." I said, looking down at my hand. "Do you really think I'll..." I trailed off.

"Look, just take them. I know you don't want to go, and I also know what goes on at sleepovers." When I gave him a confused look, he went on, "You know, how people try to embarrass each other in their sleep?" Oh. I hadn't heard about that. "I don't want anything like that to happen to you. So take them. I'm not going out tonight, and I won't need them. Promise me you'll use them if someone upsets you?"

I paused. How would it look if I beat someone up? Bad, really bad. I wasn't used to this whole physical violence lark. Assef was sixteen, so he had more experience. "Promise me," Assef said again, grabbing me by the shoulder.

"I promise, Assef," I said, looking at my feet.

He hugged me briefly and ruffled my hair. "Alright, kiddo. I love you. Go and have fun."

I sat my rucksack on my lap while Papa drove me to the party. Assef's brass knuckles were in the front pocket of the bag. I knew I had to be careful not to let anybody see them. They felt heavy to the touch, and were still stained with blood from the last time my brother used them. There was something thrilling about how he pounded that poor thirteen-year-old unconscious. I couldn't even recall why they were fighting. I hoped that I wouldn't have to use them tonight. I brushed my hair back from my face and licked my lips.

"You okay, kiddo?" Papa asked. I glared from the backseat. 'Kiddo' was Assef's nickname for me and it has been since we were children. I didn't like when anybody else used it.

"I'm fine," I said through gritted teeth.

"You sure?"

God, would he just leave me the hell alone? I clenched my fists at my sides and breathed in and out deeply. "I guess I'm just a bit nervous about the party." This wasn't a lie.

"You don't need to be nervous, honey. Adia is a lovely girl. I'm sure you two are going to be best friends." He grinned stupidly at me in the rearview mirror. I had to struggle to hold my smile.

I seriously hoped Adia and I would _not_ become 'best friends.' The less time I had to spend with the bitch, the better. "Well, that sounds nice, Papa, but Adia already has friends."

"You can never have too many friends, kiddo."

'STOP CALLING ME THAT!' I wanted to shriek out. "Yeah, you're right, Papa. I feel better now. Thank you." I smiled at him, trying to make more conversation. "So, what are you going to do tonight while I'm away?"

"I think we'll maybe play a game of volleyball if the sun's still up. Or whatever..." he trailed off.

I knew the complete sentence was... "or whatever Assef wants to do." You didn't need to be a genius to know that my brother frightened our parents. He would have frightened me too but I knew he would never raise a hand against me. We loved each other too much to ever hurt one an other in any way, physical or otherwise. After about twenty minutes, we pulled up outside Adia's house. It wasn't tiny but I knew my home was substantially bigger than it. I smirked to myself. I already had one up on the little bitch. Papa drove the car up to the gates, and then put it in park. He then got out of the car with me. 'HOLD IT,' I thought to myself. 'I'M NO BABY.'

"Papa, it's alright," I told him as politely as I could. "I can go in by myself."

"No, Saria. I don't know Adia's parent's and I want to know what will be going on tonight. I am going to walk you inside, and have an adult talk with them, while you play with Adia. Is that clear?" I nodded. What else could I do?

"Yes, Papa," I said, bowing my head. We went up and knocked on the front door. A somewhat pretty girl with black hair in pigtails opened the door and clapped her hands delightedly when she saw me.

"Hi!" she squealed. "You must be Saria! I'm Adia! Oh my, thank you so much for coming!"

"Hello, Adia," Papa said kindly.

"Hello, Mahmood agha," she replied politely.

"Is your mama or papa here, Adia jan?"

"Yes, my papa is minding us tonight because my mama is out with her friends for the night. Would you like to talk to him?" God, she was so annoying. I tried to smile and be polite but it was very hard.

Then Papa said, "Okay, Adia jan, will you please take Saria in to play while Papa and I have a little chat."

"Yes, sir," she said politely, looking at me with a retarded grin on her face. Oh, how I wished I could just run home to my brother.

Papa squatted down so he was on eye level with me. "I want you to behave yourself tonight, young lady. Be polite to Adia's father and do _exactly_ as he tells you. I will be back at ten am tomorrow to pick you up."

"Yes, Papa, I will behave," I lied. In reality, I would do no such thing. Be polite to Adia's father, yes, but to the little cunt herself? Well, she would have to be _very_ nice to me for that to happen.

I allowed Adia to lead me into her bedroom, and we both sat down on the bed. "I'm really glad that you came, Saria," she said kindly. "It's going to be so much fun, tonight. I never had a friend to sleep over before."

"Really?" I asked, interested. So this was her first sleepover too?

"Yeah, before Mama and Papa thought that I was too young. They always treat me like a little baby." Adia played absentmindedly with the hem of her skirt, shooting glances at me every now and then. It was really fucking irritating.

"Haha, parents, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I know they only do it because they love me and want what is best for me. So that's why I need rules and regulations."

"I guess," I said. Wow, she was a self-righteous bitch, wasn't she? Just then, there was a knock on the door and a boy of about three years older than Adia came in. I looked at him. The first thing that I noticed was the scar running down his face. This disfigurement made him look rather ugly. Frightening, actually.

"Hey, you must be Saria," he said and shook my hand. "I'm Masood, Adia's big brother."

"Nice to meet y-you," I stuttered. I was a little scared of this hideous monster. Okay, that's an understatement. A _lot_ scared. Disfigured people are close to top on the list of those who I can't stand. The world deserves better than them, don't you think?

"You too. Well, I just came in to tell you that I am going to play some tennis in a moment, if you two girls would like to come join me," he ruffled his sister's hair, reaching out to do the same to me. I ducked away, biting my lip in an attempt to seem cute or endearing. Masood laughed. Idiotic fucker.

"Yeah!" Adia said, a little too enthusiastically. "We will be right down, won't we, Saria?" She looked up at me,

"Sure," I replied nonchalantly. Then Masood left and Adia ran to get her two tennis rackets.

"You can borrow mine," she said.

"Thanks," I replied. I couldn't stop thinking about the horrid ugly scar on her brother's face. I imagined what it must be like to have something like that. I ran a hand down my face. Adia saw me looking and sighed.

"It's okay," she said. "I know that my brother must be a little scary for you."

"What happened to him?" I asked innocently.

"It was about two months ago. My brother got in a fight."

"A fight?" I asked, my interest piqued.

"Not really a "fight" but this older boy beat the living daylights out of him." She had to stop for a moment and wipe her eyes. "We all thought we were going to lose him, but luckily he is strong and he survived. Now he has that scar. I think my brother is a true hero," she said, puffing her chest out smugly. "And when I get older, I'm going to _kill_ that jerk who hurt him."

I laughed at this. The mental image of this tiny bitch killing anyone was just too much for me to handle. I bit down on my lip, my shoulders heaving up and down as I giggled to myself.

"No, really, I am. Assef won't know what hit him."

"Assef?" I froze.

"Yeah, he's the boy who beat up my brother. Surely you must know him?"

I started to laugh. Oh, the irony! Here I was, sitting with the sister of the boy _my_ brother had viciously beaten. This would give Assef a good laugh when I told him about this. Adia stared at me as I slapped my knees, doubled over. "What's so funny?" she asked. I continued to laugh, not answering her. Oh, I had her! I fucking had her! Tonight would be a doozy! I had nothing to worry about.

"He's my brother!" I giggled, searching her face for any sign of a reaction.

"What?" she asked.

"Assef is my older brother. I'm Saria Ahmed."

Adia cocked her head from one side, then the other. "Y-your Assef's sister?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

I nodded. "Yes, Adia. I'm Assef's little sister," I repeated slowly. "You honestly didn't know this?" How stupid _was_ she? The girl was in the same class as me, yet she had _no_ idea I was Assef's sister. Was she that much of an idiot?

"I-I..." she started. She looked at me again. "You do look like him but.."

The happy, sweet expression on my face changed into a dark glare. For a long moment, Adia and I stared at each other. "No.." the little bitch whined. "I... I.. Saria.."

I reached out and put my arms around her. I had just found a new best friend who was going to do whatever I told them. This was great. "It's okay, Adia. I'd still like to be your friend," I told her honestly.

"You would?"

"Yeah, I don't have many friends at school." I tried to look sad. "Would you like to be friends with me, and we can look out for each other and play together?" Damn it, Saria, you are good!

"I guess so," she said. "Um, I-I never really had a lot of friends."

I smiled to myself, then my thoughts turned to the brass knuckles in my bag. I knew I wouldn't be needing _them_ tonight. Adia would be putty in my hands for the rest of her _life!_ We both went downstairs and joined Masood in the garden. I smiled to myself as we played a game of tennis doubles. It was amazing how small a world it is, isn't it? After about two hours of playing, we all went inside for tea.

"This is lovely," I told Adia's father. "Thank you so much for having me tonight. I'm really enjoying myself."

"I'm glad, Saria jan." He got up. "Now, your father told me that you were to phone home tonight. Would you like to do that now while Adia has her bath?"

"Yeah, I guess," I told him. He pointed the phone out to me. "Take as long as you like." I nodded and skipped off. Then I rang home. Mama answered on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mama," I said.

"Oh, baby, are you alright, are you sick? Do you want me to come and get you?" Mama, always worrying. What was I, a fucking toddler? I had to bite my tongue to stop from cursing her out. "Saria?" she asked again. I rolled my eyes, though she couldn't see me.

"No, Mama, I'm fine. I just called to say that I love you and I am having a really good time."

"That's wonderful, baby. I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you, Mama. Is Assef around?"

"He's here, why?"

"I just wanted to say good night to him before I went to bed."

"Aww, that's sweet. Hold on." There was yelling on the other end of the phone and then Assef came on the line.

"Hey, kiddo. What's up? Is everything alright? Have they hurt you?" he asked.

"Assef, it's fine," I told him. I looked around to check nobody was listening. "I have something to tell you. You are going to _laugh_ when you hear this."

"I'm listening, kiddo."

"You know the boy you beat up last month?"

"Uh huh..." he trailed off, not understanding this.

"He's Adia's brother!" I burst out laughing.

"Really?" I knew he was trying to hide his laughter.

"Yeah! He has a big scar on his face and everything!"

"Wow, I beat him good, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did."

I heard Javid calling from upstairs. "I've got to go," I told my brother. "Javid is coming."

"Alright, kiddo, goodnight. I love you."

"I love you too," I said. Then I hung up the phone.

"How are they?" Javid asked.

"Fine. They are both well."

"That's good, jan," he said.

"It's nine o clock now, and that's when you need to be getting to bed. Please go and get your PJs on, and go to Adia's room. I'll be up in _twenty_ minutes to check you've brushed your teeth." I almost struck him then and there. Hello! I'm eleven years old! I don't need people to check my teeth! Oh my Gawd, I'm not a baby! I had to fight very hard to keep my temper in check.

"Yes, agha. I'll go right up," I told him truthfully. I went to leave, but he stopped me.

"Sweetie, I can already tell you and Adia are going to be firm friends, and well, she needs that now. She hasn't had much of a good time lately. I really need you to look out for her, and to help her. Oh, and you can call me Javid, if you wish?"

"Okay, Javid," I said, smiling. I knew just how to play him. "I promise I'll take good care of Adia." Oh, I will.

"Good girl. Well, I don't want to keep you two girls. I know how women are with getting ready," he ruffled my hair, (my feathers, more like) and sent me on my way. I walked upstairs and put on one of my nightgowns.

I had grown longer, and it barely covered my legs. I went and brushed my teeth and then came back and brushed my hair one hundred times before settling down on the bed. Adia had kindly offered to give up her bed for tonight, and she would stay in a sleeping bag on the floor. As promised, Javid came up twenty minutes later to check on us. He stopped when he saw me lying face down on the bed. "I don't need an eyeful of your bottom, Saria. Have you got any pants?"

I shook my head no. "I don't wear pants at home."

"Well, you'll have to change into a pair of Adia's PJs. We don't allow young ladies to wear skimpy clothes like that in this house. Even at night-time." He went and got a fucking pair of "bunny" pyjamas, and thrust them at me. "Put these on, and we'll say no more about it, jan. But I want you to remember to _never_ bring a nightie like that into our home again, do you understand me?"

"Yes, agha," I answered, through gritted teeth. I was beyond fuming. How _dare_ this man tell me what I could and couldn't wear! How dare he! That asshole! That faggot! That... that... I am so angry I can't even think of a good insult. I stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. "FUCCCCCCCCK!" I screamed. I looked at the pyjamas. I wasn't some little baby. I was eleven. Nearly twelve. Two more years and I'd be a teenager.

"Did I hear bad language in there?" Javid asked angrily.

I froze. Shit, did I say that out loud? I was too mad to care. "Yeah, what of it?" I retorted back.

"Saria, we do not use that type of language in this house. I do _not_ want to hear it again, am I clear?" I let out a feral shriek, and slammed my whole body into the door. Oh! Big mistake! Ow! I would be bruised from that! But for now, I didn't care. I started to scream. My brother isn't the only one with a bad temper!

"I don't CARE! I DON'T FUCKING CARE! I AM NOT PUTTING THOSE PYJAMAS ON! I AM NOT! YOU HEAR ME, JAVID? I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU FUCKING SAY YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER! I WILL WEAR WHATEVER I DAMN WELL WANT, YOU FUCKING CUNT!" I was going to be in trouble now but I didn't care. I was beyond caring.

I picked up a bottle of shampoo and poured it all over Adia's pyjamas. Then I bit into the top and began to tear the buttons off! I was now so beyond the point of anger, it wasn't funny. This was my release. I tore the pyjamas to shreds and then emerged from the bathroom. I thrust the now ruined clothing at Adia. "Here!" I spat. "Guess I can't put them on now, can I?"

I have never seen a man angrier than Javid looked right then. Even Assef would be frightened if he saw the look in his eyes. "I think, young lady, a telophone call with your parents is in order!"

"Fine!" I shouted, nearly in tears now. "You do whatever the fuck you want!" I leant over and stamped on his foot, harder, before storming out of the room. I made my way to the living room and collapsed onto the sofa. The tears flowed without stopping. What would my parents say? I had never allowed myself to lose control in front of an adult like this. Don't get me wrong, I did throw tantrums, but usually I was clever enough to do so without anyone around.

Needless to say, I was in massive trouble when Mama and Papa came. My heart dropped as I saw the car pull up the drive. Papa's face was stoic as he spoke with Javid. Mama kept shooting angry glares in my direction. I lowered my head, my body wracked with sobs, trying to portray the image of a remorseful little girl. "Let's get going, Saria," Mama snapped, directing me out the door. Right before we left, she leaned down to speak in my ear. "What do you say to Javid, young lady?"

"T-thank you f-for having me, Javid agha. I a-apologise for my behaviour." I could barely get the words out through my sobs.

We drove in tense silence all the way home. "Get into that house right now, young lady!" Papa demanded when we got home.

I stormed into the front room. "Whatever possessed you to behave in such a disrespectful manner tonight?" he demanded of me, standing up while I sat down. With my small stature, he towered over me easily.

"Dunno.."

"You do _know_ , madam, that is _not_ a good enough answer!" he roared.

"I guess I was just angry that I was being made to do something that I didn't want to."

"Saria Adelah Ahmed." Oh, full name. I was in deep shit now. "you _promised_ me that you would behave yourself tonight, didn't you?"

"Caa, agha." I wanted to _kick_ myself for showing my true colours.

"And instead, you chose to go back on your promise, and to disappoint me and your mother by using foul language and destroying the property of someone else. DIDN'T YOU?"

"Whatever," I replied flippantly.

"Watch your tone!" Papa snapped. "I am too disgusted to even finish this conversation right now. It's late, and you need to get to bed. You are grounded for _three_ months, Saria, and you will spend those three months doing chores. The money you usually get from those chores you will use to buy a new pair of pyjamas for Adia, which you will present to her along with a four page apology letter you will write yourself. Do you understand?"

"Caa, agha."

"Get to your room. No reading, no playing with your dolls. Nothing. Straight to bed. Go!" He pointed towards the stairs, a stern look on his features. My legs were shaking as I struggled to my feet. I could feel their stares bearing down on me as I left the room.

I raced up to my bedroom. I just wanted to cry myself to sleep. I hated this! Everyone was being so unfair! Assef noticed me crying and came right in. "Are you alright?" he asked, concerned. I shook my head. He came and sat down on the bed next to me. "I heard Father yelling at you." I nodded my head, and wiped my eyes. Assef gathered me into his arms and rocked me back and forth.

"What'd ya do, Saria?" he asked in a worried voice.

I hurriedly told him of what had transpired. "Wow, kiddo, you don't do things by halves."

I giggled through my tears. "Are you mad at me?" I asked timidly.

"Why would I be mad at you? You did just as I would have had I been in your situation."

"No, you would have beaten the life out of Javid for ever suggesting that you wear something with bunnies on," I laughed.

"Yes, but Saria, Javid is a grown man. I don't want you beating up grown men, because they _will_ hurt you. And, try to not to go near that man again. Understand?"

"Yes, Assef," I replied. "But, Assef..."

"What is it?" he asked, brushing a lock of hair behind my ear.

"I'd still like to be friends with Adia," I said the word "friends" the way Assef did when he talked about Wali and Kamal.

"Okay but be careful around her father and if he _ever_ raises a hand against you, come and find me."

"I will," I vowed. I yawned, stretching as I arched my back.

"Alright, you must be wrecked. You lie down. I'll see you tomorrow." He brushed my hair from my face and kissed me on the forehead. I winced, feeling where I had slammed into the door a few moments earlier. "What's up? Did somebody hurt you?" Assef's voice was low and dangerous. It was his "I'm going to put on my brass knuckles and beat somebody up" voice.

"No, it's not what you think, Assef," I told him hurriedly. "I got mad and slammed myself into the door."

"Well, that wasn't the most intelligent of decisions," he scoffed.

"Guess not."

"Well, if you're sure you'll be okay.."

"I'll be fine..."

"Alright. Goodnight, kiddo. I love you."

"I love you from the moon to the sky," I replied.

"I love you from the moon to the end of the _universe_!" Assef said as he left the room. I smiled and snuggled into bed.

I would get back at that bitch and her father some other time. For now, I just needed to sleep.


	2. Apology Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As usual, comments and criticisms are welcome. In the last chapter, Saria landed herself in hot water when she allowed her temper to get the better of her. Now, will she keep her cool around Adia?

I woke to the sound of my mother's shouting. Not a good wake up call, I can assure you. Groaning, I rolled over in bed and looked at the clock on the wall. Six thirty. Six. Fucking. Thirty. 'Fuck this,' I thought to myself, rolling over and burying my face into the pillow. No way was I getting up this early. No fucking way. I was staying in bed as long as humanly possible, and nobody was going to stop me.

"SARIA!" Mama, the fucking whore, shouted again, angrier this time. "I've been calling for the last half hour."

Wait, what? She expected me up at six? Nooo. I pulled the pillow over my ears and pretended not to hear her. It had been like this ever since my grounding two months ago. At least after this month it would be over. Yet I still had that punishment letter to write to Adia. I could do that today. I had enough money now to buy her another pair of pyjamas, but I still planned to continue to work. It wouldn't hurt for me to have some extra cash to put aside, would it?

"I'm coming, Mama," I said politely. Mama and Papa still hadn't forgiven me completely for my stunt two months ago. They were still strict and snappy with me, especially in the mornings.

"I expect you dressed and in the kitchen in _twenty_ minutes," Mama called up the stairs. "I have some washing up for you to do."

"I'll be right down," I grumbled. I got out of bed and went to my wardrobe. I put on a pink pinafore and tied my hair up in pigtails. I looked positively grotesque. I smiled at myself in the mirror. "Well, Saria, only one more day left until you're free again." The girl in the mirror smiled back. "Then we can get back at that bitch." I knew it wasn't really Adia's fault that I had gotten into trouble. It was mine. But I still wanted to get back at her. Adia was too sweet for her own good. She would be so easy for me to manipulate, especially considering that she know new it was my brother that had nearly killed her own.

And believe me when I say that nothing angers Assef more than somebody hurting me in any way, shape, or form. Humming to myself, I entered the kitchen. Mama and Papa were already seated there. "I made you a slice of toast," Mama said, not looking at me. I nodded politely and began to eat. When I was about one-quarter of the way through, Papa took my plate away from me.

"Hey! I was still _eating!_ " I shrieked, spraying half-chewed crumbs everywhere.

"Don't talk with your mouth full!" Mama admonished. "And mind that attitude of yours, Saria Adelah." She folded her arms across her chest and stared at me, as if daring me to say another word. I kept my mouth shut.

"Listen to your mother," Papa told me. "Now, Saria, Mama and I are both going out today to a friend's house. We are leaving at ten am and hope to be back before tea. There is a list of chores on your bedroom door that are to be completed in _full_ before our return. We also expect your apology letter to be written by then. Adia and her family are coming to tea, and we expect you on your _best_ behaviour. Any lark like last time, and you'll wish you'd never been _born._ Do you understand?" Papa half-roared at me.

"Caa, agha. I understand. Is the whole family coming to tea?"

"Yes," he replied. I smiled to myself. I couldn't wait to formally introduce Assef to Masood.

"You will present your apology letter to Adia after dinner and make a public apology to her family in the dining room."

"Yes," I replied, just wanting to get this day over and done with.

"Good girl." It was as close to an endearment as I had come in the last few months.

"Your brother is in charge for the day. Wali and Kamal are coming over, so I expect you to be polite, am I understood?"

"Caa."

"That's my girl." He ruffled my hair and pointed to the sink. "I won't keep you and the dishes waiting."

I set about working diligently. At least there was only one more day left of this hell. Then I could finally go out and get some sunlight. I hadn't had any sun for three months, imagine that! I smiled to myself and began singing aloud as I worked, some strange song I had learned in school the year earlier. My mind was only on the dinner tonight. Our whole family would meet Adia's whole family. I smiled to myself as I remembered how angry Masood had been at me for upsetting his baby sister.

All those months ago, as I waited for Papa to pick me up, he told me he would "get me" for hurting her the vicious way I had. Now I had him right where I wanted him. He wouldn't dare to _touch_ me once he knew whose sister he would be hurting. I smiled to myself. It seemed as though things were really working out for me this time! I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't notice Assef coming into the room. "Hey, kiddo!" he said. I turned around and smiled.

"Hey," I waved and the soap suds on my hand got all over the floor. I groaned and went to clean them up. "Stupid wash up," I grumbled to myself. "Adia's family are coming over for tea tonight," I told my brother.

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow, smirking at me.

"Yes, really," I answered. "Papa wants me to formally apologize to them for my behaviour three months ago."

"To the whole family?" Assef asked.

"The _whole_ family," I replied. "Even Masood." I lowered my eyes and bit my lip.

"I'm looking forward to meeting him," Assef said, smiling. It wasn't a particularly nice smile. I nodded my head.

"I'm looking forward to introducing you both properly." I put my arms around my brother's waist. He hugged me back. "Wali and Kamal are coming over later today. That alright, kiddo?"

I nodded. "I like Wali and Kamal," I told him truthfully. I actually did. They had enough sense to be nice to me.

"Alright, kiddo. I don't want you to fall behind on your chores. I'm going to play a game of volleyball. I'll be outside if you need anything. If you get half your chores done before lunch I'll let you play a game with me." Assef smiled at me. He knew how much I loved volleyball. It was like my favourite sport ever.

I nodded my head. "Okay, Assef, thank you." He smiled and went away. I got to work straight away, cleaning and dusting every nook and cranny in the house. I just couldn't wait to get these ridiculous chores done so I could get on with my life! I worked diligently all day. Papa commented on my work before he and mother went out the door.

"I see you're hard at work, there, jan. Good girl. Don't forget your letter now," he warned.

"I won't, Papa," I said, not looking up from the table I was polishing. "See you later." Then they both left. I let out a loud scream of delight! Alone at last! Just me and Assef and no parents telling us what to do! I did a little jump and dance in the kitchen! I was finished my work by twelve o clock, that's how fast I was, how eager I was to be done.

I bounded out to the compound where Assef was playing volleyball with Wali and Kamal was sitting waiting patiently for his turn. "Hey, Wali, Kamal!" I said. "I didn't hear you guys come in, did you come in the back way?" I asked.

"Yeah, we did," Kamal said. He patted the seat for me to sit next to him. I did so. "Hey, Saria. Assef's been telling us all about what you got up to in your friend's house."

I smiled. "What of it?" I asked cheekily.

"Nothing, I'm just surprised is all. You seem so good and nice."

"I'm not that nice," I replied, then swatted the incoming ball away from myself.

"You want to play?" Assef asked, indicating that Wali should sit down. I shook my head.

"Maybe later. Right now, I've got an apology letter to write, and I want to get that done and dusted now."

Assef nodded. "Okay. We'll be here if you need us. Good luck, kiddo."

I nodded, smiling and went upstairs to my bedroom. I took out my pen and paper and set them on my desk. I had ample time to write a letter to that bitch. I was no procrastinator. Think about it, the quicker I get things done, the quicker I can relax and play volleyball with my brother. I sucked on the end of the pen, deep in thought. What exactly does one say in an apology letter?

I pondered on asking Assef but what good would that do? I had never seen my brother apologize for hurting anyone, except that time he'd accidentally hit my head with a volleyball. That was the closest I had ever seen Assef come to remorse for causing another human being pain and that was only because I am his sister. So, I had nobody to turn to. I let out a scream of frustration.

'Dang it, Saria, think! What do you write in these damn things! THINK FOR GOD'S SAKE! SWEET GOD! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WRITE IN THIS SHITTY THING? WHAT'S THE POINT OF THESE THINGS?' After a few moments, I calmed down. I began to write hurriedly. It took three goddamn fucking hours but at last the letter was written. I have written it in here, at least what I can remember of what I wrote.

Adia jan,

I am writing you this letter to apologize to you for my inexcusable actions at your house on Friday, two months ago. Your family extended me a great deal of politeness and courtesy, and I behaved completely out-of-order. I had absolutely no right to allow my anger to get the better of me the way that I did. There is no excuse. Even if I was angry at being told what to do, I should have spoken calmly to your father and you. I don't know why I didn't do this. All I can say is that I was feeling angry that day, and a little nervous about being away from home for the tonight. However, this does _not_ give me the right to behave the way I did.

It certainly does not give me the right to vandalise your property. I should have just done as I was told and not argued. I have learned my lesson now, you must believe me. My parents both saw to it that I got the punishment I deserved for my deplorable behaviour. I have also been made use my money to reimburse you the pyjamas I destroyed.

I hope you find them to your satisfaction, Adia jan. In addition, I also extend my apologies to your father, Javid agha, whom I disrespected greatly by swearing and stamping upon his foot. I hope he has recovered. I also hope with all my heart that you can forgive me for my behaviour, as I would like to be your friend, jan. I hope that we can all reconcile once more. I am looking forward to seeing you and your family and welcoming you into my home tonight. Once again, I do sincerely apologize for my unladylike behaviour.

Yours, Saria Ahmed.

I smiled in satisfaction, tucked the letter into an envelope, put the envelope on the new pyjamas and walked out the door. 'All done now,' I told myself. I walked down stairs and into the compound. Assef and Wali were sitting by the pool. I walked over and dipped my feet in. "You finished that letter?" Wali asked.

I nodded. "Four pages all done in my best handwriting. Nay, I'm very proud of myself."

"You should be," Assef said, putting an arm around my shoulder. "I wouldn't have managed writing that letter, especially when the bitch doesn't deserve it."

"Be nice," I told him, rolling my eyes. "She's my friend." I winked at him and he winked back. We all went inside and had some lunch. After a few more hours in the sun, it was almost time for tea.

At four PM, Mama and Papa returned. "Hello, Wali, Kamal," Mama said, nodding politely to Assef's friends. "Chores all done, child?" she barked at me.

"Caa, agha," I replied. "And apology letter written as well. Shall I fetch it?"

"No need, jan, I believe you. Now, the two of you, go and prepare for dinner. Adia will be here shortly." We both nodded, Assef said goodbye to Wali and Kamal, and we walked upstairs. I went into my bedroom and changed into my best party dress. I re-did my hair in pigtails and brushed my teeth.

I looked out the window when I saw Javid's car coming up the drive. I saw Adia get out, followed by Masood. 'Well this is it, Saria,' I thought to myself. 'Let's see how tough the fucker is tonight.'

"Assef! Saria! Come downstairs and greet our guests!" I heard Papa yell. I fixed my collar and smoothed down the front of my dress as I skipped out into the landing. I felt like an idiot behaving this way. Still, the game had to be played. It was imperative for me to do so, after all.

Coming down, I saw Masood mouth, "Assef?" in shock. I bounded right up to him.

"Hi, Masood!" I said. He seized my hand and shook really hard. I winced from the pain, feeling a crack.

"Hello, Saria," he said. I tried to pull away, but he wouldn't allow it. It bloody hurt!

"Hello, Masood. It's nice to see you again." Assef, you are my hero, and I love you! Masood almost died then and there!

"A-Assef? What are you doing here?"

"I live here. I'll thank you to let go of my sister's hand."

"Y-your...?"

"Let go, kunis." Masood did so, glancing fearfully up at my brother. I went to stand between Assef's legs, and he put his hand around my shoulder. "See, I showed the cunt," he whispered in German, then switched back to speaking Farsi easily.

"Come on in, don't just stand there."

Masood glanced at me again. "You are his sister?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yes, Masood, Assef and I are siblings." Assef himself was now walking Adia down the hallway. I could tell she was frightened. Good. She should be frightened. I'm glad she was frightened.

"Are you close?" Masood asked me.

"Hmm?"

"You and your _brother_ , are you close?" he said the word "brother" as though it was something vile and disgusting.

"We're best friends. We tell each other _everything,_ " I said, stressing the word everything so he would get the hint and back the fuck away.

"Alright then." That was the last he spoke to me as we made our way to the dining room. There was an awkward silence between all families as we sat down to eat our meal. Only Faraya, Adia's mother, seemed open and warm enough to begin a conversation, chatting lightly with my mother about tennis and backhands. Javid stared Papa down, and I glared silently at Adia.

It was her fault that I was here on "probation," as I liked to call it. She was seated beside Masood, across the way from me and Assef. I could see Assef glaring daggers at Masood from across the table, and Masood not daring to look into his eyes. I was in complete control over these bastards and I knew it too.

There was no conversation between us as we ate dinner. Just the way I liked it. It gave me time to collect my thoughts. I would have to apologize to that bitch soon. I was quite livid at my situation. Why should I have to apologize to _her_? She was the one who had let her father tell me what to do. Who did he think he was anyway? I should have kicked his nuts out when I had the chance!

"Jan." Assef's words brought me out of my funk. I looked at him. "You look upset. Calm down, kiddo," he whispered.

I nodded. "Thanks," I replied. He nodded. I took my brother's advice and stopped thinking about my impending doom. It would be over in a matter of moments, and I could regain whatever pride I would have left after this shit. Just think, a few more minutes until I could be back in Mama and Papa's good books. I vowed I would take very good care of my destructive temper then and there.

I would _make_ Adia pay, pay in _blood_ for embarrassing me. For being so sweet. She would be my bitch as long as I needed her. And, if she needed to be taught who was boss, I'm sure Assef and his brass knuckles would do the job for her just fine! "Saria," Mama whispered in my ear, once again speaking Pashtu. "Go to your room and fetch your present and letter for Adia jan. Then meet us in the front room to give your formal apology to her and her family. Go, now!"

I nodded and walked out. On my way up, I noticed one of Papa's belts hanging on the bannister. I smiled to myself. I was very lucky that I was not physically punished. Once, when I was nine, I stole from Mama's purse and went to buy a doll for myself. She had been so angry that she had bent me over my bed and whipped my ass with that belt. Even now, all these years later, I still remember her hitting me, the agonising pain in my rear end and the tops of my thighs.

She must have hit me in excess of five to six times before my brother came to my aid. It was the first time I had ever been spanked and the first time Assef had ever struck our mother. And strike her he did. Knocked her two front teeth out. She never laid a hand on me again. Served the bitch right. After that, I was never whipped again. Caa, I would still never forget that day, though.

I walked up to my room and dug out the pyjamas and four page punishment letter. I smiled to myself. "It's almost over now." I said. I walked down stairs and into the living room. I cleared my throat loudly. "Excuse me everybody?" I called in Farsi, as politely as I could. We all spoke Farsi here, except when Assef and I needed to converse in private, then we switched to Pashtu, or German.

Anyway, I beamed at the waiting audience. Time to play the game! "I would just like to apologize to you, our guests, for my behaviour three months earlier at your home. I was wrong, and I am sorry. I ask for your forgiveness, and a chance to start afresh. Adia," I addressed the bitch privately now. "I would like to start anew in our friendship, and for us to get along like I know we can."

I handed her the present. "I bought you another pair of the pajamas I ripped up and destroyed." I'd like to destroy _her!_ Okay, Saria, calm down! Nearly done! Just a bit longer. "I hope you like them. You will find a four page letter of apology in there too. I am so sorry. Please forgive me."

I hoped I was sincere enough. Obviously, I was because Adia came over and hugged me in a bone crushing embrace. "Of course I forgive you, Saria jan. Oh, you didn't have to do this for me!" she whispered in my ear.

I whispered back, "This doesn't end here." Out loud I said, "I'm so glad you've decided to be my friend again. I would be _really hurt_ if you didn't." Only she, Assef and I knew just what that statement really meant.

Javid put a hand on my shoulder. "What a well done speech, my girl!" he complimented me.

"Thank you, agha!" I beamed.

"And you are forgiven, kiddo." He reached out to clap me on the shoulder.

I felt myself tense up at hearing someone else use Assef's nickname for me. I clenched and unclenched my fists. 'Don't strike him, don't strike him! He doesn't know!' I told myself.

Clearly, I was going to have to keep this family in check. I nodded politely. "I thank you kindly, agha," I said again, bowing my knees.

"I'm proud of you, jan," Papa said, putting an arm around me. "You handled that very maturely. Your punishment is now over and you are no longer grounded." He kissed the top of my blonde head in front of everyone. I decided to play "daddy's little girl" and lay my head on his chest.

"Thank you, Papa. I love you."

"I love you too, Saria jan."

Javid smiled warmly and wrapped his arms around Adia. "I'm glad our two girls are friends again, Mahmood," he said, smiling at my father.

"Ay, me too, Javid, me too. At least it will get the women out of our hair when us men hang out." He winked and gave Javid a good-natured shove. Javid laughed politely, even though the joke was not at all funny. "Well, now that that's out of the way, I think we can all relax and enjoy our time together. What say you children play some volleyball while we _adults_ go and relax in the study."

We all four nodded. "Alright," Papa said. "I should warn you, Masood, our son is a dab hand at volleyball."

'And a dab hand at beating people unconscious,' I thought to myself, but of course, I did not say anything to him. I smiled at Masood warmly.

"I'll go easy on you, jan," Assef said, smiling kindly. He motioned for me to stand between his legs. I did so. We went and played volleyball, two on two. Our team won. I wonder whether this was because of the glares Assef kept giving Masood over the net. Tssk, tssk, stupid boy kept dropping the ball! Still, I was always glad when I won a game. Poor little Adia seemed upset though. She was even _crying_ when she lost! Haha! Stupid pathetic bitch! It's just a fucking game! Get over yourself!

I ducked under the net and caught her arm. "Hey!" I snapped. "Don't cry!" I looked to where the study was. I knew I would not be heard here. I frogmarched her under one of our many palm trees. "I'll give you something to cry about, bitch! You got me in trouble, you and your stinking father."

"I-I am telling my Papa," she whimpered. I stomped on her foot, pressing my toes down hard onto hers. She gasped in pain, trying to push me away but I was stronger than her and managed to pin her down. I lifted up her top and twisted a piece of the flesh on her stomach. Yup, she would be bruised in the morning.

"You won't tell _anyone_ if you know what's good for you. Remember, Adia, my big brother would _hate_ to see me upset or in trouble for any reason. I got grounded for three months. And who caused it?" I slapped her violently across the face. "WHO CAUSED IT?" I roared, though, of course, not loud enough to be heard by any parents.

"M-me. It was me, Saria. I caused it," she stuttered, tears streaking their way down her cheeks. I nodded my head, my hand still twisting her flesh.

"Good girl. So, you don't want your _only friend_ to get into trouble again, do you?"

She shook her head. I gently let her go and kissed her on both cheeks. "Caa, how wonderful that we can come to an agreement, nay?" She nodded. "Oh, Adia jan. I did not want to do this to you. But you got me into big trouble. You did not stick up for me to your father. Friends _must_ stick up for each other if they are true." She nodded again.

"I-I ap-p-pologize, Saria. I will do better next time."

"Yes you will," I said. I slapped the bitch once more, for good measure. "You _will_ be my friend, and you _will_ do better! What happened in your home had _better_ not happen again! What I say _goes_! If you don't want to be my friend, I'll just get Assef to deal with you!"

She shook her head. "Please, Saria, I'll be the best friend you ever had!"

"Oh, I know you will!" I told her confidently. "Or what just happened here will be a gentle ear twisting compared to what _my brother_ will do to you." I looked around me. Assef and Masood were still playing volleyball. "Remember, bitch, tell anyone about this, and you're _dead_!"

Then I spat in her eye and walked away. Yup, I love my new best friend.


	3. To fight the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria was forced to humble herself and give an in depth apology to Adia for her behaviour. Now, two weeks have passed and we find her delighted over the control she now holds over Adia. But, as always, trouble has a way of finding Saria Ahmed...

It had now been two whole weeks since the event with Adia. I now had full control over the bitch. She did what I said without fail, and didn't complain about it either. I had really made an impact with my threat, ha ha! I noticed that she now wore long dresses and would not allow anybody to touch her stomach. I must have bruised her up good. I smiled to myself. Good. The bitch deserved it. It was her punishment for letting me get into trouble. I didn't even want to be friends with the little cunt, my parents were making me! Well, now I was making _her_ be my friend.

See, everything would be on my terms. I was not going to let anybody boss me around. I would _never_ be "Friend" to Adia, only "Nightmare". No matter what she said, what lie we conceived together, I would not allow myself to care for her. She was a bitch and I didn't need her. I would let my brother have his way with her once her novelty wore out. My brother. The only person I love in this world! Frankly, I don't care about anybody else. What have they done for me? It brought me great joy to think of the pain I had caused little Adia such a short time ago. It was great. I smiled to myself as I recalled my handiwork.

'Well, Saria, you've still got it, girl,' I thought to myself. She was frightened beyond belief and of _me_! Not of Assef, of _me_! I had someone to control. I had a lap-dog the way Assef had Wali and Kamal. I smirked inwardly. "She's my bitch now," I said aloud. It felt good to hear the words coming out of my mouth.

I was sitting by the pool with my bare feet in the water, waiting for Assef to come out with the lemonade. I wondered what was taking him so long. But I didn't care. I loved spending summer with my older brother. The best days was when it was just the two of us. Just Assef and I. We lived for times like that. I was now deep in thought, I didn't notice Assef come back over to me and hand me a lemonade. "You thinking, kiddo?" he asked.

I nodded. "Thanks," I said when I saw the glass at my side. I took a huge gulp. "I was thinking about my bitch." I always referred to Adia as "my bitch" in Assef's presence. It gave him a good laugh to hear me say it every time! Assef dipped his feet into the water.

"What about her, Saria jan?" he asked. I looked around me. No parents. Thank God. I exhaled.

"Do you think she'll tell on me for what I did to her two weeks ago?" It was the first time I had voiced this concern. What if Adia did tell on me? I would get into trouble. No matter what Assef did, I would still be in big trouble for doing this to her.

"I won't let that happen to you, kiddo." It was funny how Assef could read my mind sometimes. "I promise you. She won't tell. If she _thinks_ about telling, I'll make her sorry. I'll cut that bitch's throat if she even dreams of getting you into trouble!" He said this with such conviction that I just had to hug him and give him a kiss on the cheek.

"You're the best big brother ever," I told him.

He put his arm around my shoulder. "I try my best, kiddo." We sat there for a while, arms around each other. This was so great! The sun was shining and I got to spend the day with my favorite person in the world. Life couldn't get any better than this! "Where is your bitch, anyway?" Assef asked, breaking the peaceful silence.

"She's gone to some "family occasion." I let her go this time because I wanted to spend the day with you." He smiled and ruffled my hair. Assef was the only person I allowed do that without throwing a hissy fit. Assef was, in fact, the only person I allowed to do lots of things, without throwing a hissy fit. I kicked my feet back and forth in the water, flexed my toes. Where was Adia now? I wondered. Was she thinking about me, even in the presence of her family? Was she wondering whether she should confide in them about how dangerous her new "friend" really was?

I knew she would keep quiet. I had the upper hand here, not her. She wasn't the one with the older brother who would happily beat her unconcious, to _death even_ , if she ever betrayed me! That got me to thinking. Would I ever _kill_ Adia? I was almost certain the answer was no, but I couldn't be certain! If she did tell on me, Assef and I would be ready to go to any lengths to make sure my secret stayed hidden. If that meant murder, well, did I really want to go down that road?

No, I wouldn't think about that! Adia was way too scared of me to ever do anything like that! I had full control over that cunt, and I knew it too! I looked up at the radiant sun, closed my eyes and lay back with my hands behind my head. "Ahhh," I sighed. It was a good day to be me. As I watched the clouds, my thoughts drifted away from Adia for a while. I began to wonder about the other girls in my class. Were any of them worthy of being my "friend?" Not the same friend Adia was, no, but an on-the-side bitch? My parents were always saying that I had no friends. And this worried them, for some reason. Ha!

If they knew the real me, they _would_ be worried! I had allowed them to get a glimpse of my true self three months ago. But all that had done was gotten me grounded! I think because I was young and small, they were not afraid of me like they were of Assef! I didn't care though! It was better that way. As long as I played my cards right, nobody would suspect me of anything. After all, who could suspect sweet, kind, beautiful Saria of doing anything wrong? Nobody, that's who! My thoughts brought me back to the girls in my class. Nobody in that class seemed to want anything to do with me! They would all avoid me on the playground, or leave me behind. They would gang up on me, and call me horrid names!

This went on until for two months, until one day, we went to the cinema on a school tour, and I locked the meanest of them inside a storage cupboard. It took them hours to find her and she'd almost had a panic attack due to being claustrophobic. But she didn't tell on me, I made sure of that. I remembered that day well. It was the first time I got revenge on somebody for hurting me. I learned a valuable life lesson that day. Never allow anybody to make you feel inferior. No, I was in control in that school and those bitches knew it! I could never allow anybody bar Adia to get close to me. She was so fortunate to be my friend. I had her back against bullies and tormentors. And yet, to her, I was the greatest tormentor. I had to stay in control in order to be safe.

Assef was saying something. I felt him nudge me in the ribs. "What?" I asked, looking up at him with a sheepish look on my face. "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening."

"I said, I'm going to the market today with Wali and Kamal? You wanna come with?"

I nodded. "Sure. I'd like that. I haven't been to market in ages. What time do you want to go?"

"Wali is coming over at twelve and we're meeting Kamal at his house." Assef smiled at me. "You have money left over from your grounding, nay?"

I nodded. "Caa, a small amount."

"Good, you can spend it if you want."

I smiled. "I'll buy us lunch," I told him.

"Oh, kiddo. I'll buy us lunch. That's your money, you can spend it on whatever you want." I got up out of the water and dried my feet on a nearby towel. "I'll go and change my clothes. I'll meet you and Wali outside the compound at twelve," I told my brother. I went upstairs. It was now half past eleven. What was I going to wear today?

I usually dressed up pretty nicely when I went out to market. I perused through my choice of dresses. Hmm. I wanted to look the way I always did. Sweet and innocent. Who knew whether we would run into Adia or a member of her family today? She had confided in me once that they all loved going to market together. I smirked to myself as I put on a blue check dress and ribbons in my hair. I wanted to keep up the false pretense.

"Sweet innocent Saria jan," I told the girl in the mirror. I suddenly spoke out in Pashtu. "I'll show that bitch sweet and innocent. I'll control her!" I laughed loudly to myself. Thinking bad thoughts about little Adia always gave me a good laugh! I wondered what else I could do to her. She was my punching bag, something to kick if I was bored. And kick her I had! I wondered whether I would perhaps one day break a bone of hers!

I grinned at the thought. "As long as you play _my_ game _my_ way, little one, there needn't be any pain. No fear, no tears," I said aloud.

Yes, she had to know who was boss. Everybody in school had to know that I was in charge! Me, Saria Ahmed, master of my swarm of slaves, and nobody else! I smirked again. I actually missed school now. What chaos could I cause when I returned? I thought about how much pain I could make those little cunts feel as I brushed my teeth once more and placed my shoes on my feet! I was just _waiting_ for one of them to push my buttons. I smiled to myself. Would I punch her? Beat her? I just couldn't _wait_ to get the chance to reek havoc on my school mates.

This was all I could think of as I made my way down the stairs. I got my duffle coat and wrapped up warm. Even though it was summer, it still wasn't all that warm. I walked out into the compound. It was now exactly twelve o'clock. I am a very good time-keeper. I walked over to where Wali and Assef were waiting for me by the front gates. "All ready to go, kid?" Assef asked me.

I nodded. "I brought all my money." I patted my pocket.

"And you remembered to lock up?"

I nodded. "Caa."

"Good girl. Alright then, let's go." I ran ahead of Assef and Wali as the three of us made our way to Kamal's house. He lived just a bit down the road from us. His father was quite rich and he owned a cinema. Kamal could always get me in to free movies. I bet he could even get me into R rated horror movies if he wanted to! You know, the kind with lots of gore in them, where people are randomly tortured for no reason! I loved those types of movies! They did not scare me at all the way they would another girl of my age! I could easily put myself in the shoes of the villain. Would I be so bold as to skin my enemies? To stone them? To decapitate them?

I wondered about all of this as I walked with my brother and his friend. As I said, Kamal was the _best_ for getting me in to see those gory horrors that I so loved! Don't tell anyone, but I actually had a bit of a crush on Kamal. I wondered what it would be like to be his girlfriend. It was unfortunate that I was way too young for us to ever be together in that way. It would be great if he _did_ like me in the same way I liked him! He was even more afraid of Assef than Wali was! He was so cute when he got scared. I smirked at the thought.

After about twenty minutes, we reached Kamal's home. I stood outside the gate while Assef knocked on the door. A few seconds later and counting, Kamal came out. He smiled and waved when he saw me. I smiled and waved back! 'You're so _hot_!' I thought to myself gleefully. Was I blushing? I hoped not. "Hey, Kamal!" I said shyly. I wrapped my arm around my brother's leg. I always got a little shy when I was around Kamal. I was so fucking in love with him! Assef ruffled my hair.

"You alright, kiddo?" I nodded my head like it was on a spring. We all started walking together to market. I once again ran on ahead. As usual, my thoughts were nothing but dark and sinister. I looked about me. All around, children my age played and laughed without a care in the world. I was nothing like them! I knew for a fact that I wasn't entirely sane in the brain! Ha! Did you enjoy my little rhyme?

I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't even notice a boy run straight into my path and almost knock me to the ground! I looked about. Assef was deep in conversation with Wali and Kamal and hadn't seen anything. I caught the boy by the arm. He looked about twelve years old and he was a Hazara cunt. "Watch where you're going, you little bastard!" I hissed. He rubbed his arm where I had grabbed him. He was lucky he was in a good mood or I would have broken his fucking bones to pieces! "You want to apologize for almost knocking me down, faggot." It wasn't a question.

"I-I-I'm sorry, agha," he muttered sadly, looking at his feet. "I didn't mean to."

"I know," I said simply. "It's fortunate for you that I'm in a good mood, kunis."

Then, a Pashtan boy came along, put his hand on the filthy Hazara. "Come on, Hassan," he said, putting a hand on the disgusting _thing's_ shoulder. "Let's go."

"C-caa, Amir agha," Hassan said, shaking a little. His fear brought great joy to my heart!

I smirked. "Goodbye, Hassan, Amir. It was nice to talk to you." I gave Amir a little wave. 'Wow! He's kind of hot!' I thought to myself. I was feeling flushed at the sight of this cute boy. We just needed to get away from this disgusting Hazara.

"G-Goodbye, khanom," Hassan mumbled, more to his feet than to me. Khanom. Such a polite, respectful use of address. 'That's right,' I thought, watching his retreating form get smaller and smaller. 'You know you're beneath me.' I felt good now. I had just met a cute boy and I had bullied a pathetic Hazara cunt. How exciting!

"Saria!" my brother called. "Come here, kiddo. I don't want you wandering through this section of market by yourself."

"Coming, Assef." I bounded over and we walked side by side.

"There are a lot of dirty Hazara slaves here. They could hurt a girl like you. Stay by my side, sweetheart."

I nodded my head. "Alright," I said.

"We won't stop for anything until we get further up. I don't want to buy _anything_ those filthy cunts have touched." I laughed at this statement. It was so true. I decided not to bother telling my brother I had touched a Hazara. I would wash twice to get Hassan's filth off of me. I looked about the people going about their daily business in the market. To them, I just looked like a sweet young child going about her daily life with her big brother. If only they knew the darkness that lies in the recesses of my heart. I smirked to myself and decided to play a game. I picked random people in the crowd and imagined ways to torture them. It was such a fun game. My God, if only I could make my fantasies become reality. We made our way into the upper market.

"Alright, kiddo. You go and pick something out for yourself and meet us in the café in ten." Assef ruffled my hair and kissed my head. I beamed at him and ran off. I perused through the stalls for a few moments. What was I going to buy myself? I wasn't entirely sure. Maybe a nice doll? Or a dress? Not that I needed another one. Then I saw a striped kite.

I smiled. "I'd like this kite, please." I remembered to speak politely to the sales man. I handed him the money.

"Wow! You have a lot of money, little girl."

"I helped my Mama out at home a lot," I told him. This was true. He just didn't need to know why.

"Well, here, one kite for the lovely young lady." He tipped his hat politely to me as I passed. I clung to my new kite, smiling to myself as I met my brother and friends for lunch.

"Nice kite," Kamal commented.

"Thanks," I said. We all sat and ate lunch in the sunshine outside the café. "I'm going to fly this for a while outside. I'll be over there." I pointed to the distance.

"Stay where I can see you, kiddo," Assef said. I nodded. I unwound my new kite and began flying it. I loved kite flying! It was like the kite was flying away with all my worries and concerns! I smirked to myself. I would have to take Adia flying with me. Then I imagined what it would feel like if I tied Adia to the kite and released her to the wind. I knew all of her phobia of heights, she would be begging me to let her down. Well, they always say you have to face your fears. I wanted to be her _worst_ fear. Soon people all over town would have "Sariaphobia." I laughed to myself at my little joke. My thoughts drifted to Amir. He was damn cute! Why did he have to be friends with that Hazara faggot? Why? It was so unfair.

"I could be your friend, Amir," I said aloud in German. "Your _girlfriend_ even. But you'd have to choose between me and that fag." I sighed. I could only wonder, what would he choose? "You'd make the right choice." I said. "I know it." I was so engrossed that I didn't notice Farsef come up behind me. Farsef was this annoying boy in my class that always picked on me. If he wasn't trying it on, I mean. That boy seriously needed to make up his mind.

"Hello, beautiful girl." He snaked his arms around my waist.

I immediately pushed him off me. "Farsef! Stay away from me! I'm not in the mood."

"I see. I love your feisty nature, sweet thing," he said, trying to kiss me on the _lips._

_OH NO! NOT HAPPENING! NO WAY IN HELL!_ I knocked his hand away. "I _said_ I'm not in the mood for your shit! Go away or I'll make your life _hell_ when I see you in school again after the winter holidays," I told him angrily.

You're so cute when you're mad." He really wasn't getting the hint, was he? He grabbed the kite string from my hand and reeled it in. "I'll just take this, shall I? You can have it back when you decide to be a _good girl_ and be nice to me."

He leant in to kiss me again but I side-stepped him. "Fuck off," I gritted through my teeth. Farsef raised his hand high above his head and brought it down upon my cheek. I let out a little gasp of pain and shock as my head jerked to one side. "Son of a fucking bitch!" I cried out in anger.

I held my hand to my cheek and felt hot tears sting it. Farsef had now run off with my kite. I whimpered and ran back to Assef. "Assef! Assef!" I cried. I was now sobbing. Damn, that slap had hurt. I felt helpless against Farsef and helplessness was not a feeling I particularly enjoyed having.

"What is it, Saria?" Assef asked, immediately concerned. His hands were on my shoulders, looking into my face.

"It was Farsef. He stole my k-k-kite from me!" I whimpered pathetically.

Assef put his hand into his pocket and pulled out the brass knuckles. "Don't worry. I'm going to get it back to you, kiddo." We both ran off in the direction of where Farsef had run off. Soon, Assef, Wali and Kamal had him cornered. "Hello," Assef said politely, holding out his hand for the kite. I noticed it was the one with the brass knuckles. He was going to learn not to fuck around with the Ahmed family soon enough. "I'll thank you not to steal things from my sister."

"Yeah, it's mean to steal from young ladies," Wali said, glancing at my brother, a hint of a tremor in his voice.

"So, you're Saria's brother?" Farsef scoffed. "You should be thanking me. I slapped some sense into her. Maybe now she won't disrespect me."

'Oh! You just sealed your fate, cunt!' I thought to myself. Assef stepped closer so he was right in Farsef's face.

"You slapped my sister?" he asked, his voice dangerously low. "You _slapped_ my _sister_?" I knew shit was going to go down now. I smiled to myself. 'You're going to get in, kunis!'

I thought to myself, looking at Farsef. Farsef didn't see the first punch coming. Assef was a skilled fighter, and I knew he would have the upper hand. I also knew that _nothing_ made Assef angrier than seeing me get hurt. I watched with reverence as he pounded his fist into Farsef's face again and again. It only took three blows for Farsef to be on his knees.

"P-please," he choked, coughing up blood and teeth, staining his shirt. "Please, no more. I'm s-so sorry!" He was crying now and he bowed his head to avoid more slaps, but Assef knew what he was doing and yanked on his hair so he could get in more punches.

" _Nobody_ hits my sister!" Assef was roaring. "I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE YOU PAY IN BLOOD FOR WHAT YOU DID TO HER! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? IF YOU HURT HER, YOU HURT ME! YOU ARE DEAD, KUNIS!" I watched in absolute awe, enthralled! Farsef was getting exactly what he deserved! I wouldn't want to be him now, I can tell you! Assef brought his knee up and slammed it hard into Farsef's face. I'm not sure at which point he fell down, but that didn't deter my brother. He kept pounding into him hard!

I was delighted! Assef made a grab for the kite but Farsef moved it away. "Stupid," I muttered in Pasthu. Assef lunged for the kite, and then it happened. Farsef somehow managed to grab Assef's hand and pin it down. In retaliation, Assef bit down hard on Farsef's head. They tugged at each other for a few moments, before Farsef let out a horrid shriek. There was a disgusting ripping noise, and Assef tore his mouth away from the side of Farsef's head.

There was something in my brother's mouth but I couldn't see what it was. Farsef was screaming something rotten now, more so than he had originally been. Assef spat whatever he had in his mouth onto the gutter. Farsef turned his head to face me. I caught a glimpse of him, then was almost sick on the spot! His right ear had been bitten clean off! There was nothing but a gaping hole and blood. I could even see his skull. I covered my mouth with my hands in shock. This was something else! 'My brother did _that_!' I thought to myself.

It was absolutely enthralling. I was sickened but I was turned on at the same time! I had never witnessed anything like this before! Farsef was now on his knees trying to fish his right ear from the muddy gutter. Assef dropped down beside him and opened up the grate.

"Here, let me help you," he said, and slammed Farsef's face inside. He leant across him and snatched up the bloodied kite. "Thanks," he said to the sobbing, earless boy. He walked back over to me and held out the kite. "It's ripped," he said. "It must have gotten damaged during the fight. I'm so sorry, Saria. Tell you what, show me where you got it from and I'll buy you a new one. My treat, kiddo."

I nodded my head, delighted. "Thank you, Assef. I love you."

"I love you too, kiddo." Assef smiled and held out his hand for mine. We walked away. I turned my head to look back at Farsef. He was still struggling inside the gutter, his face squashed, his ear missing! I smirked inwardly. It was his own fault! He fucked with me and he paid the price! Now, at least, he would learn to stay far, _far_ away from me on the playground!

Yes, it was clear who was in control now. As I walked with my brother to buy a new kite, I could only wonder... 'can I stay on top?'


	4. Branding Adia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria watched with morbid fascination as Assef violently beat Farsef within an inch of his life and ripped his ear clean off. She was both sickened and delighted to see just how far her brother would go to defend her honor. Now, she faces the prospect of spending yet another day with Adia.....

I stood in my bedroom, glancing in the mirror, dressed in nothing but panties. My clothes lay strewn on the floor. I was having another wardrobe crisis. Most of my dresses had been put in the wash by my stupid bitch of a mother. I mean, they weren't even _that_ dirty. I sighed to myself. This was going to make chosing an outfit a lot more difficult. I groaned in frustration as I stared at the clothes on my bed. What was I going to wear today? I was meeting up with Adia for the first time since "the event," and I wanted to make a very good impression to her family.

She was taking me to her grandma's house and I wanted to look my absolute best. It's not like I needed to worry, though. Old people love me. I'm so sweet and generous that they can't help themselves! Ha! If only they knew what really lay inside my soul. The darkness and terror that I feed on. Oh, I couldn't wait to see my bitch again. What would I make her do this time? Eat dirt? Roll in dog feces? _Eat_ dog feces? I smirked to myself at the thought. The possibilities of torture for her were _endless_! I pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that said "Little Angel" on the front.

I smiled. That saying was a complete lie. I was no angel. In fact, I was more of a devil than an angel but t-shirts like that don't wash well with elderly people and I wanted to make sure Adia's nana loved me. I always had to try very hard to get people to like me. It's very tiring, hiding behind this mask of innocence. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just tore it off. Would my life be better if I didn't hide? Would I have a chance?

That is why I feel I must write my story down. Then I can give details of the person I have always been forced to hide. The side of me nobody else could know about. Well, except for Assef. I would never forget what he had done to Farsef! And he had done that for _me!_ I had the best brother in the _universe_ , there was no denying it. I brushed my hair and tied it into one long plait and put on my shoes. "Okay, Saria, you know the drill," I told the girl in the mirror. "Just play the game and nobody will suspect anything. You don't want a repeat of three months ago so just keep your temper in check.

Don't let what they say get to you. They don't know you," I gave myself a little pep talk in Pashtu. I knew I would have to behave my absolute best today, at least until we left her grandmother's. Then, I could truly be myself! I smiled as I walked downstairs. Hopefully I might meet up with Amir today. I had a massive crush on the boy, and intended to make him mine! Once I got rid of Hassan, that is. I couldn't believe someone as _hot_ as Amir was willing to _touch_ that disgusting Hazara. Didn't he realize how it made him look? Hazaras were disgusting. My brother always told me this.

I grabbed my coat. Papa waited for me by the bottom of the stairs and put a hand on my shoulders. "Are you looking forward to today?" he asked.

"I can't wait to see my friend again," I told him honestly.

He squatted down in front of me so we were level. "Remember, Saria, I expect you to be on your _best_ behaviour today."

"Caa, agha," I muttered, shifting from one foot to the other. Lowering my eyes, I played the cute card to the best of my ability.

"Because Yuri is one of the sweetest ladies I have _ever_ met and I will be very disappointed if you upset or hurt her in any way."

Yuri was Adia's grandmother. I hated sweet people more than anything! I would have to work very hard to keep my fiery temper in check. I nodded to my father. "Caa, agha. I'll be good, I promise," I said in a little girly voice. Papa hugged me tightly.

"I know you will, Saria. You'll have a lovely time today." I didn't think that would be true. I had to refrain from groaning loudly.

"I hope so, Papa," I said as I waved. "I'll see you later."

"Assef will pick you up from Yuri's house at seven-o-clock this evening. You'll stay there for tea."

I smiled. They still didn't trust me to sleep over in Adia's house or her family's after the last time. Good! I would have hated to spend the night with those cunts! I brushed my hair back from my face and walked out the door. "Bye Papa!" I walked a few paces down the road before turning my attentions to the packet of cigarettes in my pocket. No, before you ask, I don't smoke.

I may be dangerous and violent, a true sociopath, but I'm not a smoker. The things disgust me, the very idea of inhaling their toxins makes me sick, but they come in useful. I would mark Adia as mine tonight. She would know, the moment she woke up, that she belonged to me and me only. I was going to control her. I was in charge. I smirked to myself, enjoying the feeling of power.

A few teenage boys passed me and stopped. One of them looked at the cigarettes in my hand. "You selling?" he asked. "I can get you some cash if you want. Of course, if it's free, that's better by us, isn't it boys?"

I looked at him and shook my head. "Um, no," I told him. "These are mine. Not for sale."

He took a step closer and cupped my chin. "You look a bit young to be smoking?" he mused to himself. "How old are you?"

"Eleven," I replied proudly. "Twelve in a few months time."

"You don't look eleven." I knew this statement was true. I dressed young for my ages, wearing girly dresses and tying my hair in pigtails, with ribbons on either side. It was part of the ploy to fool the adult world with my charming demeanour. At best, with that combined with my short stature, I looked only eight. Nine at best. I looked at him with my best "little cutie" eyes.

"I'll be going now. It was nice to meet you all. Maybe I'll see you again some time?" I remembered to speak politely at all times.

The boy (whose name I never found out, by the way) reached out and grabbed my wrist. "Leaving so soon, little one?" he asked, his breath bitter on my face. "Stay a while. Might as well put those ciggies of yours to good use." He was reaching for my pocket, his hand groping my ass. Instantly, the beast inside of me was raging to be set loose. I wanted to set him alight! To see him squirm at my feet as the flames charred his skin. To see their melted eyes, as I would be the last thing they saw! I wanted them to enter hell! My temper was like a ticking time bomb and by groping me, he was setting it off! 'Tick tock, tick tock... BOOM!'

I laughed inwardly. Then one of the boys looked at me. He stepped closer. "Saria Ahmed?" he asked, his voice shaking. I knew exactly why.

"The very same," I replied cockily.

"A-A-Assef Ahmed's baby sister?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Are you in his class?"

The boy nodded. He took a step back. Empowered, I puffed my chest out and took another step towards him. "He talks about me?" I asked smugly.

"All the t-time." He turned to his friends, who were each looking at me with a mixture of fear and awe.

"Did he tell you about Farsef?" I asked. "Farsef has no ear on the right hand side of his head now. Pity. But Assef _hates_ to see me get hurt or upset in any way." I smiled. I had them. I always knew I could count on Assef to save me, even if he wasn't even in the vicinity. The very name of him struck terror in the hearts of millions.

"We s-should go." And they ran, like puppies with their tails between their legs.

"Run back to your mommies!" I called, cackling. I was now in better spirits! I always was when I won a confrontation! Especially after a confrontation that I knew I had little hope of winning! Don't get me wrong, I pack a mean punch (and kick but that's besides the point) but in a fight against three teenage boys who probably weighed double of me? I knew I was in danger. What would I have done had one of them not known Assef? What could I have done? Would they have beaten me? Killed me? _Raped_ me? I wasn't sure. The thought of not being in control actually terrified me, though I'll _kill_ you if you tell anyone what I say.

Haha! No, I did not allow it to show but inside I had been absolutely petrified. I needed to be much more careful where I walked. I wouldn't always have my big brother around to protect me. Well, next time I was with Adia, she could stick up for me. After all, isn't that what friends are for? I could care less what happened to her as long as I was safe. I knew it was callous of me to think these things, but when have I ever had a heart? I thought about how much I was willing to hurt sweet Adia, about how enthralled I became watching my brother disfigure someone.

I was, as they say in America; a sociopath. Just like my big brother. It was thrilling, the very thought of violence and discord, of my enemies begging for mercy at my feet! I just had to choose my enemies more wisely next time, that was all. I smiled to myself as I walked down the street to Yuri's house. People watched me walk and mothers smiled kindly at me. To them, I looked like an innocent child. A girl with a pure soul. Ha! If only they knew. If only I could show them the dark receding of my inner heart and mind. I doubted they'd be smiling at me then!

Yes, I would manipulate them all, twist them until they wrapped around my pinkie finger. Yuri would be no exception. From what I heard, she was about seventy but my cruelty shows no boundaries to age. What kind of dangerous psychopath would I be if it did? No, if she fucked with me, I would deal with her. Simple. As. That. It was with this thought in my mind that I knocked upon the door. A friendly looking, elderly woman with graying hair answered. She smiled at me, showing her teeth, or rather, the lack of them. She had wrinkles covering every inch of her ugly dog face. I suppressed a giggle. The woman got down on her knees and hugged me tightly. I was shocked! Excuse _me_? I was _not_ big on PDAs. The _only_ person I willingly allowed to embrace me was Assef. Who did this bitch think she was?

The wrinkled cow pulled away from me (I'm going to call her that in here from now on, ha!) and surveyed me like a naughty puppy.

"I'm sorry if I frightened you, my dear, but you are just an angel. What an adorable little girl. Are you Saria?" she said my name slowly, as though I would not understand it.

I nodded my head. "Yes. I am Saria. It's nice to meet you," I said through gritted teeth. I told myself to stay calm, and to remember my punishment from last time I lost my fiery temper. I looked at Wrinkled Cow and forced an angelic smile. "It's real nice of you to invite me over. I've missed my friend," I told her honestly. It wasn't a lie, well, the "friend" part was.

"Adia is just in the kitchen baking cookies. Would you like to join her?"

"I love baking!" I clapped my hands together in childish joy! Wrinkled Cow took me into the kitchen, where Adia was busy baking. I ran to her and saw her shrink back in fear. I threw my arms around her.

"OH IT'S WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU!" I shouted gleefully. Adia nodded. I leant into her ear.

"You almost gave the game away bitch. Don't look so scared. What? Do you think I would be so bold as to harm you in front of your precious grandmother? Do you think I'm that dumb- don't answer!" I hissed as she began to open her mouth. "I'm just saying, is all." I whispered lowly into her ear so Wrinkled Cow could not hear. "I'm so _pleased_ to spend the day with my best friend!" I said loudly.

"Me too," Adia smiled. I kept an arm around her and looked into the bowl. "Cookies?" I asked in mock-excitement. "I _love_ cookies! Yummy yummy! I can't wait to eat them _all_!" I joked.

"Save some for us," Wrinkled Cow laughed. It was a fucking annoying sound that really got on my nerves. Still, I held my sweet smile in place.

"I will, agha."

"Child, you may call me Yuri, or Nana, as dear Adia does. She already thinks of you as part of the family."

"Thanks, Yuri. I'm glad you think it. Adia is a dear friend to me."

"I'm glad, kiddo."

I froze. My heart beat faster. 'She doesn't know. She's so stupid,' I told myself over and over.

"Because Adia needs a friend."

"I needed one too," I told her. "I'm so glad I have the chance to spend time with you and Adia." I kissed Adia's cheek. The gesture surprised her, but I let it go.

"I'm glad dear. You girls have fun, and don't touch the _hot_ oven without me there." She rubbed her hands together to emphasize that the oven would indeed be _hot_ (as if I thought it would be fucking frozen) and then Wrinkled Cow left the room, leaving me and Adia alone. Immediately, my charming demeanour was switched off.

"Baking cookies?" I scoffed. "What a childish pastime. Does your grandma always treat you like a baby?" Adia nodded. "B but she is very kind to me." she stuttered. I smirked. "Of course she is. Your family is all kind. They are also fools, but that is no compliment," I told her honestly. She bowed her head.

"What would you like to do today, Saria?" I had taught her well. Always, _always_ ask what I wanted, don't just assume I would like to do what you want to do.

I smiled at her, looking around to make sure Wrinkled Cow wasn't listening in. "I'd like to take you somewhere very special to me." I told her honestly. "It's a place that is very dear to my childhood."

"I'll ask Nana to take us."

" _No!_ " I spat. "You can't bring _anyone_! Do you understand? If she asks, tell her we're going to the playground."

"But that's lying!"

"But that's lying!" I mimicked. "Don't you think I know that? If you know what's good for you, you'll do _exactly_ as I _say_!" I leaned in close in to her face. I could see every crevice, every pore of fear filled sweat that dripped down her face. I shuddered in disgust. "If you don't, I'll be _very_ upset! You don't want me to be _upset_ , do you?" I asked.

She shook her head. I thought of the cigarettes in my pocket. 'Just a little longer, Saria' I thought to myself. 'Be patient and you can mark her as yours.' "I don't like making you upset, Saria. You're my best friend," Adia said like a robot.

"Aww, you're my best friend too!" I called loudly so that Wrinkled Cow could hear. Then my voice dropped again. "So, as my best friend, you are to do as I say. Do you understand?" Adia nodded.

"Yes, Saria."

I smiled at her. "Good girl. I knew you'd see things my way. Well, it's too early for us to go just yet. Are the cookies ready to be baked?" I asked.

She nodded. "I'll get Nana."

"You do that," I replied flippantly.

"Nana!" Adia called.

Wrinkled Cow came rushing in. "Aww, are the cookies ready to go into the oven?" she asked. She snatched the tray from my hands and almost bent my fingers back. "Here you go, dear. I'll put them in." She did so. I rolled my eyes behind her back. God! She was treating us like we were two! I was well able to put things in an oven! I had done it before at home! I had cooked _dinner_ at home! 'Keep your temper in check, Saria,' I told myself. 'You don't want a repeat of four months ago, do you?'

The answer to my question was no, no I did not. I knew that I had to keep my raw emotions pushed deep inside of me. I was like a ticking time bomb. What would make me explode? I didn't even know that myself, and that scared me. I knew sometimes keeping control could be very tough. I didn't want to let my emotions get the better of me! I had to keep in control of myself! What else could I do? I smiled politely at Wrinkled Cow.

"Thank you, Wri-Yuri," I told her. I almost punched myself in the face then and there! 'Yuri! You idiot! Her name is _Yuri_!' I chastised myself. You see what I mean? I cannot keep my dark thoughts in sometimes!

"You're welcome, deary." She didn't even notice the slip up, thank God! "Why don't you and Adia go play on the swing set and I'll call you both in for milk and cookies in twenty minutes."

I nodded politely. "Yay!" I cheered in childish glee! "I love swings! Come on, Adia!" I grabbed her hand, tighter than I should have, and dragged her out the door. I ran with her out to the swings and sat down on the largest swing. I began swinging back and forth.

Sit down," I told Adia kindly, but with a hint of authority. She settled into the second swing and we began to swing back and forth. I waved at Wrinkled Cow from the window. I knew I looked so sweet and innocent in my pretty t-shirt and shorts, and my blonde hair tied back in a ribbon. She smiled at me.

I scoffed down the cookies when they arrived. I was so fucking hungry! I hadn't eaten in ages! "These are so delicious!" I told Adia truthfully. "I love them!"

"I'm glad you like them, Saria. They're my favourite!" she said in joyful tones.

"Mine too!" I replied. I saw her looking away. I knew she was afraid of me. Like I said, I was like a time bomb! She had no idea when I would explode. She knew all about my true intentions! She knew who 'Saria Ahmed' really was. I smiled at her. "I've missed you," I told her truthfully. "It's been no fun not having my best friend to hang out with." I smiled. "Did you miss me?"

"Yeah, I did," she said. I knew the statement was untrue but decided not to push it.

I lay back on the swing. "Did you hear about Farsef?" I asked curiously. Adia shook her head. I sat up and leaned towards her on my elbow. "My brother bit his ear off!" I squealed in childish glee. "Clean off! Bones and everything!" I was now delighting in watching her gag.

"Why?" she asked in a scared tone of voice. "Because he teased me," I replied honestly.

"I'm sorry," Adia told me. "I used to get picked on before at school." I felt sympathy rise in me. I put a hand on her shoulder.

"I hate being picked on," I told her. "Wouldn't you do anything to make them stop?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Not physical violence. It's not right to hurt people, Saria," she admonished. Instantly, all pity vanished.

"You just don't understand," I told her honestly. I looked at my watch. Ten to two! I knew I would have to take her to mark her soon. "Adia," I told her. "We're going to the "playground" now," I commanded. She nodded in understanding and ran inside. Instantly, Wrinkled Cow came out. "I want you girls to promise you'll hold hands and behave." She ordered. I nodded politely and grabbed Adia's disgusting hand.

"Come on!" I called in glee. I ran with her down the road, and when I was sure I would not be seen, I dropped her hand like a hot potato. "You can follow me, can't you?" I asked. She nodded and I took off running. I couldn't wait to finally make her mine _forever_! To show her somewhere really special to me! I was delighted! I knew just the place! I laughed to myself in childish delight!

I was cruel, I knew it but that was just part of my personality. I was who I was, and I could not change that, could I? I was made to be bad! I smiled to myself. There was no turning back now. I was in full control! I had to keep it that way! No matter what! No matter _what_! I had to keep a tight leash on my enemies! I was not going to be put down by anyone! I was in full control and I knew it! I didn't even need to look behind me to know that Adia was following. Of course she was. I picked up my speed and ran faster until I reached a deserted forest. I knew that nobody would be down there. This was the place where I first watched Assef beat someone up for me. It brought great joy to my heart to be in there! It was the perfect place. I caught Adia's hand and led her inside.

She was already shaking with fear as I led her deeper and deeper into the woods. I knew exactly how far in we needed to go! We stopped about half way and I let her go. I could see from her eyes that she was terrified. "Don't be afraid," I whispered. "Don't be afraid, bitch!" I caught her chin and forced her to her knees. I stayed over her, enjoying the power. "You're my best friend," I told her. "You mean a lot to me. I want you to know that no matter where you run to, you cannot hide from me!" I laughed to myself at my little "joke."

"No matter what! I will always find you! _Always!_ " I taunted. I pulled the cigarrettes from my pocket and watched as her eyes widened in fear.

"No!" she screamed as I lit one up. She tried to run away, but I caught her by the throat and pushed her down. I slammed her head into the ground three times.

"Now you must be punished!" I told her. I slapped her face and picked up a broken stick, beating her bare legs with it.

"I'm sorry!" Adia sobbed. Once I was satisfied, I stopped beating her. I lifted her top and placed the butt of the cigarette on her stomach, just under her breasts. She squirmed in pain, and I kept one hand on her mouth to stop her from calling out. One never knows who might be in the woods. I pressed the ciggie harder and harder into her stomach, as she cried out in agony! She was really suffering! I was delighted. Adia's little face crumpled as she saw what I was doing.

Now, she knew that her best friend was truly vicious. Any doubt that had been in her mind was now evaporated into oblivion. After five to ten minutes (I lost count) I took away the cigarette butt and admired my handiwork. She was now going to have a permanent scar for the rest of her life! I smiled to myself as I knelt beside her, my left knee putting pressure on her ribs.

"You're mine now!" I told her. "You will tell _nobody_ of this! When your Nana asks what happened to your legs, you'll say you fell in some nettles!" I began spitting in her eye. "If you tell anyone, _anyone_ of what happened today here, I will make you wish you had never been _born_!" I leaned into her face. We were almost lip to lip. "I am no pushover, Adia, and don't think that because you're young you can mess with me! I will rip you to shreds, no matter what age you are! If you fuck with me, you _die_!" I slapped her face.

"W-why?" Adia asked, shaking.

"Why?" I asked.

She nodded. "Hurt me?" she whimpered.

I laughed. "Because you hurt me! You got me grounded, and I'll _never_ forget that! I _never_ forget, Adia! Never! I will always get my way, no matter what!"

"You wouldn't really _kill me_ would you?"

"Yes, I would," I replied honestly and in that moment, I knew that I spoke the absolute truth. "I would kill you without a second chance! If you _ever_ disobey or hurt me, you will pay with your life!" I screamed. I let her up and took her hand. "Let's go home now." We took the long route home so that I could collect my thoughts. I knew how much control I had over her now! Death would be hers if she disobeyed. We walked back hand in hand and I looked at her.

She was shaken up, so I hugged her tightly. "It's okay, honey!" I cooed as nicely as was possible for a girl like me. "It's fine now!" I looked around me and suddenly slapped her face. She burst into tears and I put my arm around her shoulder. "Yuri! Yuri!" I called desperately, trying to sound frightened. "YURI HELP!" I let a few crocodile tears run down my face.

Yuri ran out into the backyard. "Oh my goodness!" She did a double take at Adia's legs. "What happened here?"

"A-Adia fell into some nettles!" I cried out.

"Yeah!" Adia cried in pain. Yuri ushered us both inside and began tending to her.

"My poor little girl!" she cooed, holding her on her lap.

I smiled at Adia. "It's going to be okay," I told her, putting a hand on her knee. "You're being very brave Adia. I bet those nettles hurt a lot!" I whispered. "You're so brave!" I said.

"So... _so_ brave!" I told her. Adia whimpered and lay closer to her grandmother.

"Nana, I don't feel to good!" she told her honestly. "I wanna lay down!"

"Okay, baby, okay," Wrinkled Cow turned to me. "Sweetie, can you ring your brother and get him to collect you now?" she asked me.

"Of course!" I told her, trying to hide my delight. "I'm so sorry you're not feeling well, Adia. I hope you are better soon." I hoped nothing of the sort! I was almost skipping when Assef came in to get me. I took my brother's hand and waved at Adia, who was whimpering under a blanket. "Bye bye, Adia! Hope you feel better!" I told her.

"What'd you do?" Assef asked me as I walked with him down the road. I showed him the cigarettes.

"Nothing you wouldn't have done," I told him.

He laughed and took the packet from me, placing it in his pocket. "You're something else, kiddo!"

'Something else, something else...' I knew that was true, but what I was... could I control it?


	5. Amir and Hassan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria burned Adia's stomach with cigarrettes as she claimed her as her own. Now, she is delighted to welcome her new crush Amir into her home, but her joy is soon short lived when she learns that Hassan will be joining them...

"Red and blue make purple, perfect," I mused to myself as I dipped the paintbrush into the water. I was lying face down on the grass at the front of the compound, paints and brushes in front of me. I had on a flowery summer pinafore that my mother had bought for me when I was ten. (Surprisingly, it still fit) and I had my most favoured locket around my neck. It had been a family heirloom that my mother had gotten from her mother on her eleventh birthday. I had a "family" picture in there, and on the right a picture of Assef and I taken around Eid of my ninth year. In it, I was beaming, dressed in a red and white dress (looking back, I looked like fucking Santa Claus) and Assef had his arm around my shoulder. It was one of the few photographs I had of just the two of us together.

I hummed to myself as I painted. The soles of my feet were filthy from the grass and my shoes lay forgotten beside me. After a few moments, I stopped to admire my handiwork. I had painted a beautiful field of purple flowers, the sun shining high above them, the sky cloudless and blue. I knew Mama would be very pleased with my pretty painting. Most of my paintings echoed my mood, and today, I was feeling quite content. I didn't have to deal with any bitches like Adia, or leering boys like Farsef. Speaking of Adia, I wonder what she's doing today? She had phoned up last night, and told me, her voice shaking, that she was going away for the day, and couldn't come out to play. I had politely told her that this was fine, and that I would see her some other time.

To be fair, I wasn't pushed about seeing her at all. I had already played with her twice this week. Still, it was nice of her to phone up all the same. I knew I had her on a tight leash. I had to! I risked everything by letting her see the real side of me! The darkness that lay deep in my heart! She had to stay silent about the things I had done to her. If she didn't, what hope was there for me? If society knew how dark and vicious I truly was, there was no telling what they would do to me! Would they have me killed? I didn't know. It was a truly frightening thought. But I would not think about that now.

No, I was having a good day today and thoughts about bitches like Adia were not going to get in the way of that. I rolled over onto my back and admired the clouds. There was one that looked very much like a carving knife. It was beautiful. Or maybe that was just my interpretation of it! I imagined the havoc I could cause with a carving knife. Ah, so many screams, so much blood! I closed my eyes and let my imagination take me far away into the darkness of my soul.

"Taking a nap, are we?" A voice broke me out of my thoughts. My heart began beating at about 1,000 miles an hour. I clutched at my chest and sat up suddenly, my eyes flying open. Who? What the fuck? I leapt to my feet, frantic. Were we being burgled? What the hell was going on? I was alone! Everyone else had gone out! I started shaking like an Autumn leaf, my heart beating faster, my breath coming in ragged gasps. "Saria!" said the disembodied voice. Whoever they were, they were laughing! And they knew my name? How was that even possible? "Saria!"

I blinked and saw my brother standing in front of me, fighting back laughter. "Jesus, you look like you've seen a ghost, jan!" he laughed.

Instantly, my fear evaporated, leaving me with only anger. "It's not bloody funny, Assef!" I all but screamed at him, my voice breaking. I felt tears sting my eyes, and I hurriedly wiped them away. "I thought you were a burglar. You scared the life out of me!" I turned away from him and wiped my nose on the back of my hand. I seemed to struggle to regain control of my breathing.

"God, I'm sorry, kiddo," Assef said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "I didn't mean to frighten you," I said nothing, and continued to sniffle. What was wrong with me? "Saria, please, talk to me. Don't cry." I turned around at latched my arms around my brother's waist, sobbing uncontrollably. He seemed at a loss for words, stroking my hair and making shh'ing noises. After a few minutes I pulled away, wiped my eyes and smiled.

"I really don't know what's going on with me," I said. "I'm sorry for snapping at you, Assef."

"Don't be. I deserved it." He ruffled my hair. "I really am sorry for scaring you, kiddo."

"I know," I smiled. I was still feeling a little shaken up, though. "Where are Wali and Kamal?" I asked. "I thought you were with them?"

"I was, but Wali ate a dodgy sandwich, got sick and Kamal took him home. I didn't feel like playing doctor so I came back here."

"Poor Wali," I mused quietly. "Will he be alright?"

"Oh, he'll be fine. Nothing a nice cup of tea can't solve." My brother nodded. I giggled uncontrollably, even though what he was saying was not actually funny.

"Um..." Assef was staring at me. "Saria, are you alright?"

I nodded, catching my breath. "I'm fine, Assef, really." I wasn't sure what was going on with me today. First tears and now laughter? What the fuck? "Sorry, I lost myself there."

Assef smiled and ruffled my hair. I put my arms around his waist and buried my face into the fabric of his chest. "Love you, Assef," I murmured.

"Love you too, kiddo," he said, slinging an arm around my shoulder. "Love you too."

I finally seemed to regain control of my emotions, enough to pull away from my brother and flop down onto the grass again. Assef plonked down beside me and picked up the picture I had just painted.

"You did this?" he asked. I nodded. "Well, kiddo this is fantastic. Wonderful." I beamed at him, happy to have someone's approval and started absent-mindedly playing with the hem of my dress.

"Thank you," I muttered shyly. Assef leaned over and gently kissed the top of my head, playing with my hair.

"You're welcome, Saria." I slipped my shoes back on my feet and packed my paints away.

"I'm hungry," I admitted and my stomach echoed my thoughts, grumbling loudly.

"I'll see if I can rustle up something," Assef said. "Mother and Father aren't going to be back from getting the groceries for another half an hour."

I sighed loudly, treking back to the house.

"I'm sure I can find some bread to toast for you, if you'd like that." I turned back to my brother and smiled. "That would be perfect. Thank you," I said. I still felt extremley guilty for snapping at him earlier and was trying to be extra nice to make it up to him as I knew he was doing the same for frightening me.

'We really are a pair,' I thought to myself, giggling slightly. 'Both love causing discord to others, but can't stand even the notion of doing it to each other.' As soon as we got back inside, I ransacked the cupboards for bread. I was soon disappointed when I saw there was nothing in there. I would have eaten out of a bin I was that hungry.

"GOD DAMN IT, WHERE THE FUCK IS ALL THE FOOD!" I roared, my legendary temper getting the better of me once again. I threw open the refrigerator door with such force that I nearly took it off its hinges. Nothing. "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE FOOD?" I screamed, pulling a gone-off pint of milk out and firing it into the bin. I slammed the fridge door shut, then tore it open again, hoping that I would find food inside once I did.

It didn't happen. "FOR FUCK SAKE!" I shouted, as I usually did when things did not go my way. I kicked at the fridge, almost bringing it down on top of myself. I jumped up and down, my hunger melting into complete anger.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS THE FOOD! I'M HUNGRRRRRRRRYYYY!" I screamed, punching the fridge door. I sank to my knees, utterly exhausted, and banged my head repeatedly against the fridge. "AHHHH!" I screamed.

That was how Assef found me when he came in from the bathroom. "The name of Allah are you doing, child?" he asked, kneeling beside me.

I moaned. "Hungry," I said, all my temper evaporating. I slammed my fists into the fridge.

Assef took my hands in his and turned me away. "Don't do that, darling. Come on, you're going to hurt yourself."

I nodded. I wasn't sure what was going on with me today? Was I sick? I sincerley hoped not. "Sorry," I muttered. "Stupid."

Assef wiped a tear out of my eye. "Two things, kiddo. One, don't apologize, and two, _don't_ call yourself stupid. That's a term for Hazaras. Not a pretty girl like you."

I beamed. Trust Assef to make me feel a million times better without even trying. I kissed his cheek.

"Thank you, Assef. I love you."

Assef kissed my forehead. "Love you too, you crazy child." He held out his hand for me and we both got up off the floor.

"You're calling me crazy?" I asked, laughing. "You're the crazy one, Assef _Goshkor_!" I giggled, using the nickname my brother had gotten from his run in with Farsef. Assef grinned and ruffled my hair.

"I'll have you know," he said, grabbing a tea towel and batting me with it. I side-stepped him. "I did that for you." I smiled and ran from him, tripping over my own feet in my haste to get away. Assef grabbed me round the waist and threw me down on the sofa. I shrieked with laughter.

"Alright!" I giggled, as his fingers dug into my ribs (my most ticklish spot) "I give! You're not crazy!" I threw my arms around my brother's waist and buried my face in his shirt. "You're the best brother ever," I said in a little girly lisp, my voice muffled by the fabric.

"And you're the best sister ever." I beamed at this. My bad mood had instantly evaporated, however I did not know whether it would be gone now the entire day. I was a ticking time bomb these past few weeks! I was beginning to lose control of my emotions! I hoped this would not happen! If it did, I would have no hope. I had to remember to stay in control. My stomach growled again but I ignored it. I would just have to wait to have something to eat. I could scream all I wanted, yell until my throat was hoarse, but it wouldn't do me any good.

I just had to be patient and wait until Mama and Papa got home from doing the groceries. I knew it wouldn't take that long. The store was only a few minutes walk from our home. I could hold on, couldn't I? After an agonizing twenty minutes (it felt like two hundred) I heard the key in the door. "They're home!" I shrieked excitedly. I jumped from the sofa and ran to the door. "Mommy! Daddy!" I called in glee. I quickly took one of the large shopping bags from my mother's hand and raced to the kitchen. 'Please Allah let there be food in here!' I thought to myself as I peered inside.

"What's gotten into you?" Papa asked, amazed by my crazy behaviour.

"She's starved," Assef said, coming into the kitchen and sitting down at the table.

"I feel like I haven't eaten in years!" I laughed. I grabbed an apple and bit down, sighing heavily as the delicious juices enveloped my taste buds. This was good stuff!

"Wow, you must have been really hungry!" Mama commented. She always had something stupidly obvious to say.

"Yes, Mama. I was starving," I said, eating quickly, as though afraid the fruit would be gone soon!

"What would my little girl like to do today?" Papa asked me. This made me think. What would I like to do? I knew I couldn't ask Adia to play. She, as I have already stated, was with her family. I also knew that Mama and Papa were hinting that they wanted me to have a friend over to play. I know I've said this already, but they were very worried that I was lacking in the "friends department". Was it my fault that all the children in school were complete bitches? No, I rather think it wasn't.

"What would I like to do today?" I questioned aloud. I put my finger on my chin and pretended to be deep in thought. I knew I had to say something to make them both happy. I had to keep my parents happy, didn't I? 'Wait!' I said to myself. 'I've got it! The perfect way to keep both them and I happy! Oh, Saria, you are a genius!' "Papa, do you know Amir Kalahari?" I asked.

Papa looked at me and nodded. "His father and I are good friends," he told me. Oh, this was so perfect!

"I met him the other day while Assef and I were out shopping." Assef smiled at me. He knew how much I liked Amir. "I think he and I could be good friends. Would it be okay if he came over to play today?"

Mama beamed at me and Papa put an arm around my shoulders. "I'm sure I can arrange that if my little princess wants." I had to fight back a smirk at the nickname. "Little princess..." I was more like the "Wicked Queen."

"Oh, thank you Papa!" I said, not even having to pretend my elation the way I did with Adia. "I can't wait! Call him now! Call him now!" I was almost bouncing in my seat.

"Steady on, child. We will call them after lunch."

As promised, Papa went to phone Amir's family straightway after lunch. I was almost _dying_ from the excitement! Would he say yes? Would he? I was a bundle of nerves inside! I just couldn't wait! Finally, Papa emerged from his study. "Amir's father is going to drop them up in half an hour." I was so excited that I didn't even register that he said "them." I was screaming in excitement! I bounced up and down on my seat a few times in childish joy!

"I can't wait!" I said ecstatically. "I can't wait to see him! This is going to be so much fun!" 'Amir is such a hottie!' I thought to myself. I couldn't say this, though. How embarrassing would that be? "Oh, thank you, Daddy!" I said in utter delight. I honestly couldn't make the next half hour pass fast enough! I just wanted to be with Amir! I wanted to make him mine! God knows how much of a crush I had on this boy! I was floating with elation at the prospect of being allowed spend some time with him.

Inwardly, I felt a little stab of guilt for Kamal (he had, of course, been there first) but I knew deep down that Kamal and I could never be. He was way too old for me, at seventeen and I knew he just saw me as a child. At least Amir and I were practically the same age. Oh, he was a year older than me, but what's a year in a relationship, hmm?

"I just can't wait!" I said again. "I know we're going to be such good friends!" I leapt from my chair, almost knocking it back. "It's going to be so much fun!" I yelled. "I'm going to get ready for our playdate!" I shrieked in elation once more and ran up the stairs.

However, as I was halfway up, I heard Papa and Mama talking. "Saria seems to really like that boy," Mama was saying.

"Yes, I'm glad she's made another friend," Papa replied. I snuck downstairs and crouched by the door. "I hope the three of them will have a fun day today."

'Three?' I thought to myself.

"Three?" Mama echoed my thoughts.

"Yes, Yusef asked if Amir's servant Hassan could come over and play too. Amir's glued to that boy. They do everything together."

I froze in shock. 'NO!' I screamed inwardly. God no! This wasn't happening! It couldn't be! Hassan couldn't come! He couldn't! He'd ruin everything! I ran up to my room and threw myself on the bed, pounding the pillow with my fists.

"NO!" I whispered aloud. "This can't be fucking happening! Why does that goddamn Hazara have to hang around! Fucking hell! Whyyy?" I questioned myself. I jumped up and down in frustration. This wasn't fair! I got up and moved to the mirror. The sweet reflection that always hid my true heart! I looked at her, watched her smile.

"Saria," I told her. "You have to play your cards right. Are you going to let some Hazara make you feel this way? _Are you_?" I felt stupid for talking to myself, but I carried on regardless. "No, you're stronger than that! You have to pretend that nothing is wrong! Just wait until you get him alone! You can let your anger fly then, but no sooner! _No sooner_! Is there going to be a repeat of Adia's sleepover? Is there a reason for you to lose control? To allow yourself to get into big trouble? NO! NOT EVER! Stay in control, Saria. Stay in control."

I have to admit, talking to my sweet reflection made me feel loads better, strange as it was! I had full control over my emotions. I had to. I brushed my hair into two pigtails and straightened my dress. I wanted to look my absolute best for Amir. I walked downstairs and into the living room. I knew full well that I would be under great scrutiny today! My parents were so interfering when it came to me making friends! They were still worried that I would go through life alone, even after I had "befriended" Adia. I think they wanted me to be one of those girls who were popular and had their own cliques. HA! I would never have a clique. I wanted to stay as far away from those bitches on the playground as possible.

Not for my sake but for theirs. It was clear now how dangerous I could be when I lost control of my dark side. I had to keep away from people who might bring out the worst in me. My wandering thoughts brought me back to Hassan. I wanted nothing to do with the Hazara, but I knew that I had to stay in control of my emotions! I was not going to let him get the better of me! It was with this thought in my head that I went to welcome them both into my house when they came. "Hello!" I called in childish glee, bowing my knees to Amir's father. "My name is Saria Ahmed!" I informed him.

"It's very nice to meet you, Saria," he told me, offering his hand for me to shake. I placed my tiny hand in his larger one, biting my lip sweetly.

"It's so nice to meet you too, agha!" I replied politely. "Amir, Hassan, it's so good to see you again!" I called. I beamed at both of them. "I know we're going to have so much _fun_ today!" I exclaimed.

"Well, I won't keep you three. You probably have all sorts of fun things planned. Hassan, I'll be back at tea time to pick you both up." I wondered why he didn't address Amir, after all, Amir was his son.

"Caa, agha sahib." Hassan nodded.

"You have fun." He ruffled Hassan's hair and left.

"Don't just stand in the hallway, come on in!" I said. I took Amir by the hand and dragged him inside. I turned to see Hassan standing awkwardly in the doorway. "Hey, Hassan, don't just stand there, come on!" I grabbed his arm and dragged them both inside. I felt disgusting, touching Hassan, but I had to play the game by my parents rules. I raced into the kitchen with the boys. "Look who's here, Mama, Papa!" I called.

"Aww, well hello there." Papa shook hands with both of them.

"It's so nice to meet the two of you," Mama said. "I just know you three are going to be great friends."

"Oh I _know_ we are, Mama!" I said, rocking back and forth on my heels. "It's going to be so much fun having you two over to play!" I told Amir and Hassan, bouncing in childish elation. Assef came into the room and sat down beside our parents. I saw Amir gulp.

"Well, this is a lovely surprise!" said my brother.

"You two know each other?" I asked.

"We pass each other on the street," Assef told me. Amir looked _terrified_. I smiled reassuringly at him. "You three fancy a game of volleyball?" Hassan looked at his feet and Amir twitched.

"No, Assef, it's fine. Maybe later?" I suggested.

"Alright, kiddo. You three have fun." Assef got up to leave the room. Before going, he turned to Amir, smiling. "You be nice to my baby sister, Amir, Hassan," he joked. Only I caught the veiled threat in that "joke."

"What would you like to do?" I asked.

"Dunno, it's your house, Saria," Amir shrugged.

"Amir agha is right, this is your home."

I looked at my parents. "But you're my guests. What would you like to do today? We have until tea time so I'm sure there's lots of fun things you can think for us to do today!" I exclaimed.

"I can't really think of anything at the moment," said Amir. 'Wow, you're so cute!' I thought. 'Alright, Saria, snap out of it' I told myself.

"Well, how about we go up to my room?" I suggested. "We can find something fun to do up there."

"Is your bedroom tidy, young lady?" Mama asked. I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth. I wanted to strike her then and there. Young lady? Really? I was a very tidy person and kept my room spotless. It hid this diary and other secrets I didn't want my parents knowing about.

"Yeah, it's always clean," I said.

"Alright, you cheeky miss, go on. You three have fun!" Papa called, ruffling my hair. I led Amir and Hassan up the stairs to my room and shut the door.

"This is clean," Hassan mused.

"Yeah?" I said. "I try my best."

"I wish Amir agha kept his room as clean as you keep yours," he told me.

"Really?" I asked, curiously.

"It would make my work a lot easier, agha."

"Hey, I'm still here!" Amir joked.

"Sorry, Amir agha," Hassan said, looking ashamed.

"I'm just teasing, you donkey." I could tell they were great friends. I would have to work very hard to get Hassan out of the picture.

"You have a lovely home, agha." Hassan said kindly.

"Oh, Hassan, thank you!" I said. "You can call me Saria. I insist."

"Alright, Saria."

"I didn't know you and Assef were siblings," Amir said.

"Yeah, he's my big brother." My chest automatically puffed up with pride when I said this sentence. "My best friend in the world." Amir gulped. I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and felt a jolt through my body. Hassan was looking at the books in my shelf.

"You read a lot?"

"Yeah, at times. Do you?" I questioned.

"I'm illi... illi... illi..." Hassan stuttered over the words like the idiot he was.

"Illiterate," Amir said slowly as though talking to an impudent child.

"Yeah, that's the word! I'm illiterate! I never learned how to read and write," Hassan said. "Amir agha always reads to me. My favourite story is Rostam and Sohrab. Do you know it?"

"I've heard of it," I mused. "Is that the story where the father kills his son, Amir?"

"Yeah."

"Amir agha writes brilliant stories too!" Hassan told me. He was infuriating! Would he not just shut the fuck up?

"They're not that good," Amir blushed. "Honestly, Hassan, you're embarrassing me." 'Me too.' I thought, but of course kept my mouth shut.

"No, agha, you write brilliantly! You're going to be a famous author one day, I just know it!" Hassan flopped down on my bed (Goddamn it, I just made it and that fucking dope is messing it up) "When we're older, Amir agha is going to buy me a television!"

"Wow, lucky!" I said. "Assef's trying to get Mama and Papa to buy us one too. If he does you are all welcome to come watch."

"Thank you," said Amir politely. I smiled and sat down beside Hassan.

"This is nice, isn't it?" I asked. "I don't really have that many friends at school, so I always love getting the chance to play with people my age."

"Don't you and your brother..." Amir trailed off.

"Of course, but you know how older brothers can be!" I joked. In fact, I would rather be with Assef than anybody else. You probably don't need to be told that my mind differs from the regular eleven year old child. "I love to have people over to play," I said.

"Cool. Um, Saria, where is your bathroom?" Amir asked.

"Down the hall to the left."

"Be back in two minutes," he said. I could see he was desperate to go.

"Go on, Amir. I'm sure Hassan and I won't burn the place down in your absence!" I wanted to burn Hassan down. The thought brought me great comfort.

Amir left. As soon as he was gone, I gave Hassan a forceful shove, and knocked him from my bed. He landed with a "thud" on the floor. "The floor's where you should be, you disgusting Hazara," I told him.

I dropped to my knees beside him and kept one hand on his wrist to keep him from moving away. "You people disgust me to my core! I wish you would all _die_ and leave Afghanistan for Pashtuns! Afghanistan for Pashtuns! That's my brothers vision, Hassan, and mine too!"

I leaned down so I was right in his face, my teeth bared like a wild animal's. He cowered away from me, trembling in fear. I slammed his head down against the floor, laughing as he winced in pain. "I didn't want _you_ to come, you know. I only wanted to play with Amir, but you had to tag along like a spaniel, didn't you?" I snapped.

I knew Hassan must have been terrified. I revelled in seeing the fear in his eyes. "Well, you listen to me, Hassan, and you listen _good_! I'm doing you a favour, letting you come here! If you tell Amir what happened here between us, I will make sure you pay in _blood_ and _lots_ of it! You're toeing a very thin line and you do _not_ want to cross it. It won't be pretty for you if you do."

I slapped him across the face (why not?) and let him up. I saw Amir coming back from the toilet and gave Hassan a quick hug. "Remember, you Hazara whore," I whispered. "Just one fucking word of this and you're dead." I stepped back and smiled.

"You've been gone so long, Amir!" I said. "Hassan and I were beginning to worry you'd fallen down the toilet!" I joked.

Hassan laughed shakily. "Y-yeah, are you alright?"

"Fine," Amir nodded. "And you?"

"I'm fine, Amir agha."

"Good, so we're all fine!" I said happily. "Well, it's too nice a day to spend indoors. I have a pool outside! Come on, we can sit out!" I suggested.

"Alright," Amir said. We went outside. I skipped over to the pool. I looked up and saw Mama watching us from the window. I waved to her and smiled. I had to keep pretending. I found a spot just by the pool and sat down on the grass.

"Well, don't just stand there you two," I called. "Come and sit down with me." They both obliged and sat on either side of me. "Isn't this so nice!" I asked. "I live for days like this! God knows we don't get them all that often!"

"Only another month until we go back to school," Amir mused.

"We'd better make the most of our freedom while we still have it!" I quipped. I turned to Hassan. "You're so lucky that you never have to go to school, Hassan." I told him. "Your life must be like one big holiday. I'm so jealous!" I teased.

Hassan looked down at his feet. "It's not all that great. I'd really like to go to school and learn to read and write." God, he was just like Adia! A self-righteous little brat! I wanted to strike him then and there but I couldn't do it with Amir watching. I smiled.

"Well, you can swap with me anytime! You go to school and I stay home! I guarantee you'll hate it!" I teased.

The minutes and hours ticked on while we sat in awkward silence. I wished more than anything that Amir and I were alone. That was all I wanted. Just some time with the boy I had a crush on. Was that so much to ask? Was it? Why did that goddamn Hazara have to tag along too? I hated Amir's father for allowing this. Why couldn't Hassan have stayed at home where he belonged? I almost wanted to scream in frustration at having him sit so close to me! I looked at Amir. Was I giving him any hints about the hatred I felt towards his "friend?" Was I being careful?

I knew the answer was yes. I was playing my cards just right! He was as blind as everyone else. He too, thought I was a sweet, kind-hearted girl. I remembered how angry I had become when Hassan crashed into me at market all that time ago. To their credit, neither of the boys thought anything of it. I guess everyone gets angry sometimes! For me, anger comes all too often, as it was coming now. I hated this! I just wanted Amir and I to be _alone_!

Before I could allow my temper to be unleashed, I stood up. "I'm going inside for a few moments," I told the boys. "You two wait outside, but don't have too much fun while I'm gone!" I smiled at them and then raced upstairs to my room.

I fell to my knees and began pounding my fists on the carpet. "NOOO! NOO!" I screamed in rage. "Could this day get any worse?" I questioned myself. "Stupid Hazara! STUPID FUCKING HAZARA!" I heard the door open and Assef walked in.

"Are you alright?" he asked, concerned, dropping to his knees beside me.

Instantly, I latched onto my brother and sobbed. "Assef I hate it!" I moaned aloud. "I hate it! I wish Hassan was gone! It's hell! It's all hell!" I wailed. Assef rubbed my back and rocked me back and forth while I cried. "All I wanted was to have Amir come over to play. That's _all_ I wanted!" I cried.

"Oh, kiddo. I hate seeing you cry. Isn't there anything I can do to make it better?" I looked at my brother.

"I want Hassan to leave! I want him gone!" I cried. "I have a plan to draw a wedge between them. Will you help me?"

Assef nodded. "Anything for you, little sister. Anything."

We both walked downstairs and into the compound once again. "Hassan," Assef called. "Come here. I have something really cool I want to show you!" I had to applaud my brother. He was such a good actor when the need arose! We both were!

"Go on, Hassan. It's really cool!" I said. Hassan nodded and walked off. I sat beside Amir. "You know, it's so lovely that you would bring your servant to play. You are so sweet!" I trailed off. "Hassan is so lucky to have a friend like you."

"Really?" Amir asked. "To be honest, Saria, I only took him because I was told to by my father."

"He annoys you?" I questioned. Amir nodded.

"Sometimes. I didn't want him to come." I could see the anger in his eyes. I smirked to myself. Hassan came back.

"You don't have many friends beside Hassan, do you?" I asked innocently. Amir's eyes flashed with shame and rage. I hid my smirk.

"Hello again, Amir agha!" he said, beaming.

"Shut _up_ , Hassan!" Amir screamed angrily.

Hassan looked shocked. "Amir agha, are you alright?"

"No!" he said. "No, Hassan, I am not alright. Why the hell did you have to come here? I just wanted to play with Saria by myself. I can have friends besides you, can't I? Why can't you go the fuck home?"

"A-Amir agha.." Hassan stuttered.

"You should just leave! Pretend you have a stomach ache and get Baba to collect you."

Hassan nodded sadly. I stayed silent. I had him! I fucking had the cunt. He was in my game now! "I'll do that straight away, Amir agha. Well, bye, Saria. Thanks for having me over."

I smiled at him. "It was my absolute pleasure, Hassan. It really was!" 'It would be my pleasure to gut you alive,' I thought.

I had to play the part when Yusef came to get Hassan. In fairness to the Hazara, he was good at faking a stomach ache. I gave him a quick hug as he was leaving. "Come on, Amir!" said Baba. 'Shit!' I thought. 'I didn't want Amir to leave too!' Amir's scowling face was a picture.

"Are you sure you'll be alright, Hassan?" I asked. I knew I had to seem concerned. "I hope you feel a lot better soon. It was so nice to have you to play with me!" I gave Amir a big hug too. "You take care of yourself, Amir." I said. "It was lovely to have you both." I said, trying to hide my disappointment that he would have to leave too.

"Sorry your plan didn't work out, kiddo," Assef said as I walked forlornly into the kitchen.

"It wasn't your fault!" I replied. "At least I stirred the shit between them! Hopefully one day I can get rid of that Hazara for good!" Assef nodded and laughed.

"You're a girl after my own heart, Saria, you truly are! One day we'll drive them from Afghanistan forever!"

"One day soon!" I told my brother. "One day soon!"


	6. Arguing and Violence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time, Saria was delighted that she was able to manipulate Amir into bullying Hassan. Her love for the Pashtun boy grew when she saw how cruel he could be to his friend. Now, we find her bored in her bedroom during a bad rainy spell....

I lay on my bed, silently reading. My ever clean sheets were pulled taut, my pillow plumped to perfection by one of our maids. The only sound in the room was that of the rain hitting the ground outside and of the pages of my book slowly turning. I tucked a lock of blonde curls behind my ear and stared down at the words so hard that they blurred. I was reading Rostam and Sohrab, Hassan favourite book, for what seemed like the umpteenth time.

Unlike others who had read it, I rejoiced in the irony that Rostam had, in fact, murdered his own son. It was so funny. I delighted in that man's pain as he realized who it was he had stabbed. I loved to imagine the sword piercing through Sohrab's heart, to imagine the pain he must have felt. Physical and emotional pain, the best type of pain to make people suffer.

I rolled over onto my stomach and continued reading. My dress bunched up under my legs, making it very distracting while I was trying to read. It was a pink abomination with a ribbon at the back of it. The petticoat and underskirt underneath made it kick out. It was something a three-year old would wear, and I knew it too. I had to keep looking young and sweet for my parents, and other unsuspecting adults like Wrinkled Cow (sorry, _Yuri_ ). My ever wandering thoughts suddenly brought me back to Amir and Hassan. It had been a full three weeks since I had invited them over to play.

I would be returning to school next fortnight. It was funny how the winter flew by but the school year seemed to drag on endlessly. I was glad to be going back, in part, however, as being in school meant I had ample time to cause chaos and discord among the other children. How fun. Now, the school year would be even better, as I had Adia to "play" with. Before, the teachers used to make me sit with them, worried that I would never have a friend.

They used to "make" the other children include me, and that got me a reputation for being a teacher's pet, a reputation I was quick to shake off. I was so glad that I now had my bitch on side to play with. She was now on holidays with her family in Pakistan. She was lucky. I had yet to go on a holiday and now, I doubted that would happen. Mama and Papa truly didn't like taking family breaks, because being alone with their son for an extended period unnerved them.

I hoped I would see Amir again before returning to school. It doesn't need to be said how much I want that boy for my own. I would do _anything_ to make him like me in the way I like him! It doesn't help that Hassan is always in the fucking way. I had never been more furious than I had when he came to visit. Why couldn't he have stayed at home? Wasn't that what servants did? Stayed at home while their masters went out! I never brought one of _my_ servants out with me. I didn't care that Hassan and Amir were the same age! Hassan was a Hazara, a lowly _dog!_ He should know his place in society by now, and if he didn't, I would be more than happy to teach him.

I leaned down and reached under my bed, pulling out the large carving knife I had stolen from the pantry six months ago. Mama still didn't know what had happened to it! I kept it under there just in case I ever needed to use it. I sat admiring it, wondering what it would feel like if I used it on Hassan. I would give anything to slash his pathetic little throat and watch him choke on his own disgusting blood. I knew full well I couldn't kill him though. My thoughts would have to stay a fantasy. At least for now. I stayed watching the knife for what seemed like hours, imagining all the things that I could do with it. Why only use it on Hassan? If I could, I would stab the world.

Adia, Javid, Yuri. All of them would be begging at my feet for mercy. But there would be no mercy. I would show no remorse as I killed them all. I revelled in the mental image of my enemies lying in a pool of their own blood. By the time I had done, there would only be me, Assef and Amir left on the planet. I had no patience for anyone else, not even my parents.

I knew I would not hesitate to kill them if they pushed me too far. They didn't understand me, didn't understand the darkness that lurked within my soul. The demon that hid behind the blonde curls, and blue eyes. I was happiest when I was causing discord to other people. I wanted to be in complete control. I gently kissed the knife, running my finger along the blade. 'One day I'll get to use this on a Hazara,' I told myself.

'One day soon, Saria. Just you wait and see! One day there will be no Hazara's left!' I laughed aloud to myself at this thought! I would be able to unleash my dark side for all to see one day! I would no longer be the sweet child everyone knew. She would fade into oblivion, her innocence lost forever. I crouched down and slid the knife once again under the bed. I made sure it was well hidden underneath old clothes and things I had shoved under there. I then pulled down the covers of my bed and sat down once more. I took out Rostam and Sohrab and began reading again. I was soon distracted, however, by the sounds of the rain outside.

"Fucking goddamn it!" I swore. "Why can't it _stop_ raining?" I got off the bed and made my way over to the window. I placed my hands on the windowsill and looked out. I hated when it rained! I hated not being able to go out! There was only so many things that an eleven year old girl like me could do. I didn't even have any dolls to play with, as I had cut them all up when I was ten.

Ah, how fun that had been. But how much trouble had I gotten into. I knew that Mama and Papa refused to buy me other dolls since I continued to break them. I could care less. I hated dolls. Hated them. All they were good for was chopping up. I used to pretend those dolls were real people who I was torturing! It was so great! I loved to torture my poor, defenseless dolls!

I opened the window and watched as the rain fell on my nose. I giggled. It was about two o clock and it had rained heavily all morning. I had read Rostam and Sohrab for what felt like hours! I was getting extremely bored. The rain was getting heavier and heavier. I just wanted it to _end_! I slammed my fists down on the windowsill repeatedly. "FUCKING GODDAMN RAIN!" I yelled.

"I HATE RAIN! WHY CAN'T IT JUST STOOOP?" I screamed, allowing my temper to get the better of me. I slammed the window closed and threw myself down onto my bed.

What was I going to do to get over my boredom? I knew that I had to do something, otherwise I would become a destructive influence on the household. I was going to end up destroying something valuable. My temper was going to get the better of me. I rolled over on my bed and thought about all the things I could do. Nothing. What could I do? I was so bored. My room was tidy so I couldn't even spend time cleaning that up.

Mama and Papa had gone out for the day so only Assef and I were in the house. Assef had been in his room all day. I wasn't sure why. I hoped he wasn't feeling unwell. I would hate it if my brother wasn't well. I had left him alone, hoping that he just needed to rest and would be okay afterwards. Maybe he just wanted to be alone? I had days like that too, and I couldn't blame him. But I was getting restless stuck in here. I didn't think Assef would mind if I went to talk to him. We could go downstairs and play pool together.

I walked out of my room and down the corridor. It was sixty-seven steps to my brother's room, sixty-nine to my parents. Assef was closer to my parents room than I was. I stopped outside the door and raised my hand to knock. There was no answer. I knocked again, louder this time. Again, there was no answer. I knocked again. "Assef!" I called. "Assef, can I come in?"

"Alright, kiddo, come on." I walked inside. Assef was casually leaning against his desk, looking at me with a mixture of boredom and contempt.

"Hi, Assef," I said.

He smiled and waved at me. "Hey, kiddo, how you doing?"

"I'm so booored..." I wailed dramatically. "I hate it when it rains. There's nothing to do!"

"I know, kiddo. At least the rain will be gone tomorrow."

"I wish it was gone _today,_ " I said, flopping down onto a chair in my brother's room.

Assef smiled tiredly at me. "I wish it was gone too, Saria."

I sat up suddenly. "Would you like to come downstairs and play a game of pool with me?" I asked.

Assef shook his head. "No, not today, kiddo, maybe some other time?" he suggested. I was bored, however, and not going to take "no" for an answer.

"Aw, come on, Assef!" I begged. "I'm so bored and I know you are too! What else is there for us to do stuck inside. Please, can't you just play with me for a little while at least? Just one game is all I ask of you! Please, please!" I jumped up and down childishly. All I wanted was to spend a bit of time with my big brother, my hero, my idol, who I loved more than anything in this world. I stomped my feet on the carpet. "Please, Assef!" I was begging now, giving him my best "puppy dog" eyes. "Please play with me! I'm so booored! I just want to spend some time with you!"

"I said no, Saria. Another time maybe. I just want to be alone today."

I shook my head. "No, you don't," I quipped. "Nobody wants to be alone! You're my brother, you're _supposed_ to spend time with me!" I was getting in a bad mood now. Assef _never_ denied me anything! Why should he start now? All I wanted was some time with him. It was raining and I was bored. I needed someone to talk to, to play with. Somebody that I could be myself with. "PLEASE ASSEF!" I begged. "Please, pleaaaase!" I was being pathetic and I knew it but I just needed to be with somebody. I was so bored on my own.

"I SAID NO!" Assef screamed at me. He was suddenly in my face, his breathing harsh and ragged. I leapt from the chair, terrified. "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU AND I DON'T WANT YOU IN MY GODDAMN ROOM!" Assef screamed. I backed into the wall, shell-shocked. Assef sighed. "Goddamn it, Saria, can't you just leave me alone for five minutes? All I want is to be _alone_! That's _all_ I want! Stop fucking following me! Stay away, you insufferable _bitch_ , just stay _away_!" I felt tears sting my eyes. 'I won't cry' I told myself. 'I will not cry!' I couldn't move from my spot, pressed up against the wall. My brother was scaring me. He was actually _terrifying_ me!

He had _never_ lashed out at me like this before. Sure, I could remember times when I had witnessed his legendary rage but it had never been directed at _me_ before! I loved him and he loved me, right? We would never hurt each other knowingly. We never had. I was reeling from the horrid words my brother had screamed at me. "Assef..." I started. I made to go to him but something in me made me hold back. I was scared of being hurt, of my brother putting his hands on me. I shivered.

'Please don't let him hate me,' I begged to the heavens. Assef's fists were clenched at his sides, and he looked like he was going to charge. With a jolt of fear, I noticed that he wore his brass knuckles on his right hand. Assef would never hit me with those, would he? I couldn't believe I was scared of my brother. The person I trusted and loved more than anything else in this world.

I could feel the tears building up but I would not cry. I would not cry. I was stronger than that. I knew that I was visibly shaking with fear. I couldn't hide my emotions around my brother. I was never able to. Assef was glaring at me now, and the look in his eyes was frightening. What had I done wrong? Why was he being like this? Why had he called me a bitch? Is that what he thought of me now? Was I some other nameless victim to him now? Someone he could pick on and hurt?

"I..." I couldn't even say anything. What could I say to make it right again? To make Assef stop hating me, as I knew he must do? I wanted to wake up and this horrible fight to be a nightmare.

I wanted my big brother to come and hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright! "Are you _still_ here?" Assef snapped at me. "God, you really are infuriating, aren't you? What's the matter, cat got your tongue?" He raised his fist. "It would be in your best interest, Saria, if you just FUCK OFF and leave me the HELL ALONE!" I stood frozen. Assef walked closer, fist still raised. "Go on, GET OUT!" he screamed at me.

I didn't need to be told twice. I bolted from his room. As I ran I could hear the door slam shut behind me. I was shaking and I ran right past my bedroom. I just wanted to get out of the house for a while! I couldn't stay in there. I took off my shoes and ran like hell out into the street. I had no fucking clue as to where I was going, and I didn't really care either! I just wanted to be _alone!_ To collect my thoughts! I ran like the wind through the street, my shoes in my left hand.

Even though my feet were aching and my stockings were starting to rip, I continued to run faster and faster. If I ran fast enough, I could get away from everything that had just transpired! The rain water came down heavier and soon my hair was plastered to my face. I could care less about rain. Why should I? Everything that could go wrong today was going wrong, so what did it matter whether I got a little damp or not? Damp was not the right word, I was saturated. My dress hung limp like lettuce around my legs! I ran until I reached a deserted alley way.

"NOOO!" I screamed in utter frustration. I fell to my knees and began pounding the ground with my fists. I could finally let the tears fall! I bowed my head on the ground in utter despair. "NO! NO! NO!" I shouted. I was in utter pain and misery. I was a miserable, worthless girl. My own brother wanted nothing to do with me. "YOU BITCH!" I screamed to myself. "YOU FUCKING BITCH! COULDN'T KEEP YOUR BIG MOUTH SHUT, COULD YOU? IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" I chastised myself. "IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULLLLLLLLLLLLT!" I threw my head back and let out an animalistic shriek. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed. My brother hated me. My only friend didn't want anything to do with me anymore. I just wanted to curl into a ball and die. I wanted to _die!_ Misery was the only emotion I was feeling now. I was in complete despair.

I was barely aware of someone coming into the alley way until I saw the shape standing over me. I looked up. "Hello, Saria." said the girl. Zainab! I clenched my fists and leapt to my feet. I shall explain who Zainab is in detail. Do you remember how I said that I had been bullied by a girl in my class? Do you remember how I had locked her in the closet at the cinema and left her alone for a few hours without food or water? Yeah, Zainab was that girl. I couldn't believe my luck. Of all the people to see.

"What do you want, Zainab?" I asked. I was in no mood for pleasantries with this bitch. I gritted my teeth and faced her head on.

"I could ask you the same thing, Saria," she teased. "Why are you here? _Crying_ no less. I didn't know the evil Saria Ahmed could cry," she laughed. "What's a matter, poor baby? Where's your Mommy?" she teased. Damn, this girl knew how to push my buttons. "Where's your big brother, hmm? Where is the cunt?"

This was too far. I slammed into her, knocking her to the ground, slamming her head into the ground repeatedly. "YOU LEAVE MY BROTHER OUT OF THIS! DON'T YOU INSULT HIM!" I screamed. Even though he hated me, I was not going to allow _anyone_ to insult my brother! My eyes bore into hers. I gave her one good slap across the face. Suddenly, I felt myself flying through the air as Zainab kicked me off her. I landed with a "thump" on my back.

"OW! Fuck you, you whore!" I swore loudly. Like lightning, Zainab was on top of me, slapping my face and slamming my head repeatedly against the rocks on the ground. I clawed at her eyes in retaliation but she just pinned me down and continued to beat me.

"THIS IS WHAT YOU DESERVE!" she was roaring at me. "YOU MADE MY LIFE HELL! DO YOU KNOW HOW SICK I WAS AFTER YOU LOCKED ME IN THAT GODDAMN CLOSET? YOU HAVE NO IDEA! YOU'RE SUCH A GODDAMN BITCH! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE US ALL ALONNEEE!" Damn, this girl had a temper to rival mine! I could do nothing as she punched and kicked me!

I would not cry, though. I was in agony but I would not give her the satisfaction. Zainab head butted me, her nose whacking my left eye. "I HATE YOU, SARIA AHMED!" she roared. As if beating me wasn't enough to let me know she hated me. "YOU SWAN AROUND SCHOOL LIKE YOU OWN THE PLACE JUST BECAUSE YOUR BIG BROTHER HAPPENS TO BE A LITTLE TOERAG BULLY! WELL, I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU, AND I'M NOT SCARED OF HIM EITHER! I WISH YOUR WHOLE FAMILY WOULD JUST DIE!" I was scared then. Would Zainab really _kill_ me? I wasn't sure.

Zainab continued to pummel me for what seemed like hours. I was soon too weak to even attempt to retaliate! She got up from over me, and began kicking me in the side. My ribs were in utter agony as I struggled to breathe. "If you beg me, I'll stop... maybe!" she mocked me.

My response was to spit on the ground beside her. "I'm not begging you!" I screamed. "So FUCK OFF, BITCH!" Zainab laughed as she continued to kick me.

"I see this little vixen still has some bite left in her. Don't worry, Saria, I'll make _sure_ you get everything you deserve, you STUPID LITTLE BITCH!" She roared at me, continuing her merciless assault. I kept my lips shut through the attack. I just wanted to die. I was in so much pain. My ribs, I was sure, were broken, and so was my nose. My wrist was probably badly sprained, and everywhere ached! I couldn't breath properly from the pain in my lungs. I was going to die here in this alleyway, I just _knew_ it. I let out a feral scream.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" I howled, letting all my misery and anger come out. I wanted the pain to end! I just needed to die! Death had to come soon, didn't it? My vision was beginning to get blurred. I knew this was the end. Zainab continued to slam her fists into my face. I knew I could stay awake no longer... I was going to die here... Alone... All alone... In pain... 'Assef, I'm sorry! I love you!' was my last thought before I slipped into the black oblivion.

When I came to, I was lying in a hospital bed with my parents sitting by my side. Mama was in tears. A strange man who I didn't know was standing in the corner, looking akward. I looked around me. Was I dead? Was I dreaming? What was going on here? The last thing I remembered was being beaten by Zainab. I looked at the pained expressions on my parent's faces.

"Saria, oh my baby girl," Mama wept, taking my little hand in hers, tears streaming down her face.

"Mama.." I said pathetically. "What's going on?"

"You were beaten, Saria!" Papa informed me. "Do you remember?" Of course I remembered. You didn't forget a beating like that very easily. "Somebody, some sicko _beat_ my baby girl!" Papa growled. I was well aware that he didn't know about the beatings I had doled out.

"Do you remember who did this to you?" Mama asked.

"I didn't see his face, Mama," I lied smoothly. "I was just so scared!"

"Well, you can thank Umair that you are still with us," Papa informed me, pointing to the man in the corner. "He's the one who brought you here. Without him, you certainly would have died."

I smiled over at Umair. "Thank you, Umair," I said sweetly. Indeed, I was grateful to him.

"It was no problem at all, young one," he said.

"Am I really sick, Mommy?" I asked.

"Yes, you have a black eye, a split lip, sprained wrist and bruised ribs. You also have a ruptured spleen," Mama wept. God, would she ever give over crying?

"I figured," I said. "Oh, Mommy, it really hurts!" I began to cry. Part of this was just crocodile tears, but on the other hand, it still hurt like hell. Mama stroked my hair and Papa rubbed my shoulder. Assef said nothing. He just stood at the end of the bed, one hand on my foot through the sheets. He had a strange expression on his face. Was he still angry with me? I wondered. I couldn't bear it if he was. I looked into his eyes. He turned away, looking at the wall as though it was the most interesting thing on the planet.

"Saria," said Papa. "Mama and I are going to go to the shop by the waiting room. Do you want something?"

I shook my head. "Nothing at all," I said. "Thank you for the offer, though."

"Alright, baby. You rest here!" He gently kissed my forehead.

"I'll see you in a few minutes, alright, pet?" Mama gave me another kiss.

"I should get off too," said Umair.

"Yes, Umair and thank you a million times over for what you did for our daughter." Papa shook Umair's hand and they went out the door.

As soon as they were gone, Assef slowly crossed the room so he could sit down on the chair my mother had vacated. 'He still detests me!' I thought sadly. I slowly sat up, ignoring the pain in my ribs. I reached out and grabbed my brother's hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Please say something, Assef!" I begged him, tears now spilling down my face. He just looked at me in utter disbelief. "Please don't be mad at me!"

Assef began to laugh madly. "Mad at you?" he asked. "Mad at _you_?" He shook his head at me. "Goddamn it, Saria, you wouldn't even be in here if it wasn't for me! I have never been more _disgusted_ with myself in my entire life! This whole mess, you being hurt, you almost _dying_ , it's all my fault!"

Well, I hadn't expected that outburst. "I'm so sorry for what I said, Saria! I didn't mean it, kiddo, you know I didn't! I don't think any of those things about you! I was just frustrated because of the rain! I don't even know why I took my anger out on you."

I gaped at my brother. "You scared me, Assef," I admitted. "It was like I didn't know you anymore! I was so scared you were going to hurt me!" I sobbed.

Assef put his hand under my chin and lifted my head so I was facing him. "You listen to me, Saria Ahmed," he ordered. "I would never _never_ harm one hair on your pretty little blonde head! I love you, little sister, more than anything else in this entire world! You are the most important person in my life and I am so, so sorry I ever made you think otherwise! I love you, Saria, do you understand that? You and me, we're a team, kiddo!" I nodded in understanding and forgiveness, and flung my arms around my brother's neck. He stroked my back comfortingly.

"I love you too, Assef!" I cried. "I love you! I love you!"

Assef could only nod as he rocked me back and forth. "I know, kiddo. I know," he whispered gently in my ear. I felt my anxiety and fear instantly evaporate. I was going to be okay! I just knew I was! But there was something that still plagued me.

"It was Zainab!" I blurted out. "Zainab Qualmari! She beat me up!"

Assef pulled away from me, keeping both hands on my shoulders. "Zainab, the girl in your class, _Zainab_?" he asked in a furious tone.

"Uh huh." I nodded my head. "She cornered me in alleyway and just attacked me!" I informed him.

Assef looked like he was going to march over to that girls house and commit a homicide. "That bitch, that fucking goddamn cunt!" he swore.

"My sentiments exactly!" I laughed.

"Why didn't you tell Mother and Father?" Assef inquired.

"I want my own revenge!" I informed him. "Do you remember that carving knife that went "missing"?"

He nodded. "I think I'm really going to like where this is going!"

I looked around to check we could not be heard. "It's under my bed!" I said. "I had it all along. I was just waiting for the right time to use it! And, Assef, I think this could be the right time, don't you?"

Assef smiled at me. "I think, kiddo, there would be no better time than this to use that knife!" He pulled me into another loving embrace and kissed the top of my forehead. "I love you," he informed me in German. "We'll make that girl bleed. We'll show her what pain truly is."

I smiled contentedly from my brothers arms. No more nice Saria. No more! Zainab had well and truly crossed the line with me. She was going to pay for what she had done. She was going to be an example to the other children. No one crosses Saria Ahmed and lives to tell about it. I would have my revenge on her.

I would make her beg the way she had wanted _me_ to! I would not allow her to live after what she had done. She was going to know fear in its truest form. No more would I allow her to dominate me!

No more would I allow myself to be a victim. I was going to _kill_ her, and there was no doubting that! No doubting it, at all...


	7. First Drop of Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In chapter 6, Saria and Assef got into a huge argument, prompting Saria to run away from home. She was later violently beaten by Zainab, a girl from her class who wanted revenge on her for a prank Saria played on her. In an attempt to prove how sorry he was for his actions, Assef promises to help Saria murder the girl who hurt her.. Now we find her ready to put her plan into action...

I tried to sit up in the bed but fell back, aching. I placed a hand on my chest where the bandages were. I was in no condition to be going home, but hey if it got me out of this damn stupid hospital, I would do anything, even run a marathon! That's how much I hated this place! I had no privacy in here. I was in the children's ward and all around me, little brats ran to-and-fro, laughing and whooping and hollering like no tomorrow. I was paranoid that somehow the doctors and nurses would see through my sweet facade. What if they learned my secrets, what if the doctors and nurses learned how dark and decrepid the little angel in bed number 15 really was? I couldn't fathom to even think about it.

I didn't get much sleep at all here. I was always on guard, making sure nobody could ever find out about the darkness hiding within me. It didn't help that the pain was always there, _always_ creeping up on me. I was practically high on morphine. Assef said that the last time he'd come to visit me, I had barely recognised him.

He said I'd just laughed and said "You look like me... Whooooo!" I wasn't sure you could give morphine to an eleven year old, not that I honestly gave a fuck. I just wanted to be out of here. I wanted to be in my own bed and my own home. I wanted the privacy these shitwads never gave me! As I was thinking this, a small seven-year old child came up to me and poked me in the chest. "OW!" I screamed in pain and indignation. My bruised ribs were still very sore. "Watch what you're doing you little fucktard!" I hissed at him.

He gulped and backed away. "Sorry, Miss, didn't mean to. You were real quiet so I thought you were like dead or something," he told me. Instantly my anger evaporated. He was Pashtun like I was. I couldn't stay angry with him for long. I was too tired to be angry, anyway.

"It's okay," I told him. "Just next time don't poke me in the chest. It's _really_ sore."

"Did you hurt it?" he asked stupidly.

"Yeah, a mean girl hit me really hard and made me sore," I told him childishly.

He sat down on the bed next to me. "I'm real sorry that she did that. I'm here 'cause I had my tonsils out," he rasped, opening his mouth to give me a better view. "They were jiggling in my throat and making me sore so Mommy took me here to get them removed."

"That's good," I said. "Now you won't be sore anymore."

"What's your name? My name is Abdulla," he told me.

"My name is Saria Ahmed," I said, smiling kindly.

"Are you going home today?" Abdulla questioned.

"Yes, my brother's picking me up at noon." I glanced at the clock. It read "Eleven forty-five." Fifteen goddamn minutes more to wait.

"Okay, well that's good. I gotta go, Saria or Momma will get mad at me for running off. Bye!" Then he was gone and I was once more at peace.

I lay back on my bed. I just wanted to get out of here. I closed my eyes and thought of how great it would be to finally be home. I missed my big brother so much. Assef came to visit whenever he could over the last two weeks, but I knew that the hospital had a strict visitors policy. Anyway, it wasn't like we could converse properly when I was here. I knew I had to be very careful about the things that I said. Doctors and nurses were _everywhere_ always listening in to our private conversations. I had to be extra careful. I thought about Zainab. I was going to kill her. I knew it. I had the knife under the bed, ready to stain with her blood. Everything was going to work out.

After all, who could suspect sweet, darling Saria Ahmed of doing anything wrong? The whole world would stand up for me and why shouldn't they? I was justified in my endeavours, after all. Even Adia, who I had tortured so badly, would be too afraid of me to ever tell anyone if she was to find out what I had done. I was way too sweet and manipulative to ever be caught. The plan was, anyway, that once we had killed her, we would dump her body in the woods, bury her there. Those woods were closed off, and I was sure some animal would savage her before they could find her. Nobody would suspect a thing. I smiled to myself. I would soon be free of her forever!

I was rudely interrupted by a nurse shaking me. "Saria, darling," she said. "Your brother's here to collect you."

I looked beaming. "Assef!" I called, sitting up. I winced as a sharp pain shot up through my chest. Assef didn't fail to notice this, and was instantly at my side, rubbing my back.

"It's okay, kiddo, it's okay. I'm going to take you home today."

I beamed at him. "Yay!" I said in childish delight. I clapped my hands together. "I can't wait to go home!"

The nurse grinned at me. "I bet you can't. Well, Saria, it's been lovely to have you. You're such a charming young lady. Keep in touch, will you, and let us know how you're doing?" she questioned me.

"I will," I said as Assef helped me into a wheelchair.

"You alright, kiddo?" he asked me. Assef's been extra sweet to me lately. I think he's still feeling guilty for hurting my feelings last fortnight. Assef, I knew, blamed himself for my injuries, though I had told him time and time again that it was not his fault. I lay back against the chair and closed my eyes.

"I'm fine," I said.

"You look so much better, kiddo. You're not as bruised as you were." He leaned down to kiss my hair. "I'm so glad you're coming home, Saria. I've missed you so much." He kissed the top of my head.

"I missed you, too, Assef!" I said. "We have to plan you-know-what soon."

"Yes, we must. Not until you're one hundred percent well again, though. You need to concentrate on getting better."

"Don't need the damn chair, Assef, I can walk by myself" I said, struggling to get up. Oh dear! I didn't think this through! I winced as my entire body ached. Assef put a hand on my shoulder and gently pushed me back down.

"Hospital policy, kiddo. You have to leave in a wheelchair. If you get hurt we could sue the hospital staff for millions. Not to mention I'd never forgive myself if you got hurt because of me again."

I raised a hand in protest. "Assef, how many _times_? This was _not_ your fault! Do you hear me? It was Zainab's fault for beating me up, and partly my fault for running off without telling anyone."

"Which you did because I frightened you," he said, still intent on heaping all the blame onto himself. "How you could even stand to look at me, not to mind say forgive me after the way I treated you is something else."

"It's because I love you," I told him. "You're my big brother and you always will be."

Assef ruffled my hair with his left hand. "You don't know what it was like, Saria, seeing you being wheeled in. I didn't know whether you would wake up or not, and all I could think of was "what if I never get a chance to tell her I love her". I felt like a monster, like an absolute monster."

"In the eyes of the world, we're both monsters," I told him. "I bet Farsef wouldn't dispute that theory. Has there been any more trouble from him?" I questioned.

"He knows well enough to stay away from us," Assef told me. "I actually saw him again in the market."

"Did you?"

"I did. I went out of my way to learn a bit of sign language on his behalf." Assef waved his hands in the air in some strange motion. "That means "stay away from my sister or you'll pay with your life," he informed me.

I let out a shrill giggle and clapped my hands together. "Oh, brilliant!" I said. "But I know someone who _will_ pay for their crime with their life!" I was, of course, referring to Zainab.

"Yes. All in good time. You concentrate on getting well again and then I promise to help you. We'll make her pay for everything."

We were nearing the entrance to the hospital and I could see that Mama and Papa were waiting for me by the car. Assef wheeled me over to them and instantly Papa was on his knees so we were at a level. "It's so good to have you coming home where you belong," he told me. "We must thank Allah for making you well again."

"And the doctors," Assef scoffed. My brother is not a very religious type and neither am I.

Papa ignored him. "Your mother and I were _so_ worried about you, Saria. You are sure that you do not remember who did this to you?" He questioned.

"No," I replied. "Like I said, I buried my face in my arms to stop him from hitting me. I didn't see his face." I knew that I could not tell them it was Zainab. After all, then the suspicion would fall on me once I killed her. I had to pretend that I did not know my attacker.

I knew that the matter would be resolved quickly enough. After a few days nobody would bother trying to figure out who the culprit was. "I was so scared!" I began to cry. Crocodile tears, of course.

"You're upsetting her," Assef scolded our parents. "Leave her be. She says that she doesn't remember and I believe her. Whoever did this is probably long gone by now. We should just concentrate on getting Saria well again," as he said this, he leaned down and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"You're right, son," Mama commented. "Saria is what matters now and we are so fortunate to have her with us after her ordeal."

"Come on, sweetie," Papa cooed. "Let's get you home to rest." He put his hands under my legs and lifted me up in a bridal lift. I was placed gently in the backseat of the car, and a blanket was placed over my legs. Today the hospital staff had dressed me in a dress that had a smiling sunflower on the front of it. My hair had been washed and tied into two pigtails with yellow ribbons on them. I looked like an utter joke. Assef opened the door and climbed into the other side of the car beside me. We were soon buckled up and Papa drove the car the hour and a half to our home.

It hurt to have the seatbelt across my chest, but my parent's insisted that I wear one. It would not do to have me get injured on the way back from the hospital. I still had enough pain killers in me to last the journey home, and I knew that Mama had some at home too. As I looked out the window at the passing children and families, my mind went to Adia. My little bitch hadn't bothered to come and see me in the hospital. She hadn't even bothered to call to my house to ask how I was doing.

Apparently, and this made me mad, Assef had called up to ask if she wanted to come with him to see me and she'd said no. My heart was in my throat and I felt physically sick thinking about it. Anger was bubbling on the surface. I knew, however, that I could not hurt her. I had Zainab to deal with. I had to be careful or people would get suspicious. Adia was lucky that I had bigger fish to fry. If this had been any other time, I would have slit her throat once I saw her again. As it stands, a sharp warning and a slap would be all she need fear from me. I lay my head on the seat in front of me and sighed.

I just wanted to feel better! I wanted the pain to be over and done with so that I could concentrate on my revenge. I thought about the knife, and how it would be stained with Zainab's blood. I was going to make her suffer the way that I had suffered in these hospitals. If somebody hurts me, they should be hurt back tenfold, I believed.

Assef reached across the seat to put a hand on mine and squeezed it tightly. I smiled up at him, letting him know that I was in complete control of my mind. The sun beat down from high above us in the sky. I reached up and rolled down the window. The cool air circulated the car. I sighed in relief. When you're wearing a dress like the one I had on, you should stay as cool as possible.

I looked at my brother as he rested his hand on his chin and stared in the other direction. I knew that I would need his help to formulate my murderous plan. Not that that was going to be a problem, I knew Assef would move heaven and earth to see me happy. I couldn't wait to get home again. I knew that Mama would have cleaned my room, ready for my arrival. Did she find the knife? It was a very real concern of mine. I could only hope that she would not have gone snooping under my bed for any apparent reason. I quickly reminded myself that I was in the clear.

I had hidden the knife in such a way that nobody could ever find it. It was under a loose piece of carpet in my bedroom that Papa had never gotten around to fixing. Mama turned around and looked at me. "Are you alright, darling?" she asked me. I nodded. I must have been too quiet for their liking.

"I'm fine," I replied. "I was just thinking about how much I've missed my home." I fabricated a lie on the spot.

"Oh, we've missed you too, baby," Mama said, reaching back to pat me on the knee. I placed my hand on hers and squeezed it.

"Home, sweet home," Papa said, smiling as he pulled the car into the driveway. He parked it and Mama got out. She opened the door for me and unbuckled my seatbelt. I put my arms around her shoulders and she lifted me out of the car, and set me down on my feet. I walked a few little steps before I stumbled.

Instantly, Papa and Mama were at my side, leading me into the house. Once we were inside, Assef took me by the arm and led me up the stairs to my room. I pulled back the covers and hopped into bed. Assef sat down beside me and tucked me in. He held me in his arms and rubbed my back.

"You go to sleep now, kiddo, you need it," he told me. "If you need anything you can call me, okay?" He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "I love you so much," he said.

"I love you too, Assef," I said. He left the room, shutting the door with a click behind him. I lay back against my pillow and sighed. Sleeping was not something on my mind now. I could only think about my revenge on Zainab. I wanted to make sure she suffered just as much as I did.

Every ache of my bones was further reminding me to ensnare her in my trap. The darkness of my room was just like the dark thoughts that were running freely through my mind. I snuggled down under my comforter and closed my eyes. I would at least have to pretend that I was asleep in case my parents came in to check up on me.

My mother was a worrywart and I didn't want her calling the hospital over insomnia. Insomnia was going to be something I could look forward to over the past weeks. My ever-present dangerous thoughts were the only things on my mind now. Zainab was going to have to watch her back with me. Soon she would know who was in control of her. It was with this thought in my mind that I eventually slipped into sleep.

XX

A week had past since I came home from the hospital. I stayed at home in bed, my parents and brother making a huge fuss over me. It was sweet when Assef wanted to take care of me, but as for Mama and Papa, they were really fucking annoying. Assef took better care of me then they could ever hope to, and at least with him I could be myself.

When I finally mustered up the strength to walk, I would spend my afternoons playing pool in the games room with Assef. At least he was always there for me. I don't know how I would have gotten through last week without him. Oh no! I'm going off on another tangent, aren't I? I believe I should be writing about _today_! And what an eventful day it was. I lay on my bed, silently reading.

Today I had dressed myself in one my old blue dresses. It was an utter abomination. I had my hair tied back in a ponytail, secured with a ribbon. It was tied tight against my scalp. Under my bed was a bag packed with all the essentials. Inside that bag I had hidden the carving knife, along with two mittens and a spare change of clothing for when I needed it. I thought about the knife, wedged firmly in between the folds of my gown. It wouldn't be long now until I could use it.

Mama and Papa were going out for the day to treat themselves to a romantic picnic. I scoffed at the thought. Do you think if they had any idea of what I was about to do, they would have dared to leave me alone? I don't think so. The door to my room was slightly ajar, and from my peripheral vision, I could see Mama watching me. 'You think I don't see you, bitch?' I thought to myself. I lifted my head and smiled at her.

"Hello, Mama," I said politely.

"Hello, darling," she cooed. "We will be leaving in a few minutes once your father gets out of the bathroom," she joked. I had to laugh along even though the joke was not funny. She walked over to me and gave me a quick hug. I rolled my eyes over her shoulder. She had no clue! No fucking clue! Soon her daughter would be a murderer! A child-killer! I relished in the thought as Mama pulled away from me. I suddenly spoke aloud in English as she left the room.

"I'll make the little bitch pay for what she did to me! She won't breath for much longer!" was what I called after her. I could be confident that she had no clue as to what exactly her precious daughter had just uttered. I spoke enough English that I could use it when I wanted to keep something secret from my parents.

Mama turned around. "What did you say?" she asked.

"I said, I hope you have a lovely picnic." Once again, I managed to make up a lie for her.

"Aww, thank you, darling!" she seemed quite satisfied with my answer as she walked downstairs. I looked out the window and watched until I could no longer see them. I knew that I had to bide my time. I continued to read for half an hour, until I was sure that Mama and Papa were well gone. Then, leaning down under my bed, I retrieved my rucksack. I put on my shoes and walked to Assef's room.

I knocked three times on the door and waited until he let me enter. "It's time," I said simply.

Assef licked his lips. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked. "We don't have to _kill_ her, you know. Just say the word and I'll give her a beat down she'll never forget!" His hands were on my shoulders.

"No, she must stay silent! She will be killed! Assef, I've waited for so long to make my dream come true! It's going to happen _today_!" I emphasized.

Assef smiled at me. "If you're sure. I won't deny you anything," he said.

I nodded. "I'm sure. Put a pair of mittens in your coat pocket and meet me outside. We're going to take a little walk." I had a malicious grin on my face as I said this. I literally skipped out the door. I stretched out my hand to take my brothers. I was in utter glee as I walked with him down the road. Soon we reached the market place. I was playing my cards by fate's hand. I knew that Zainab often played near the woods on a Friday when her other friends were at painting classes. I watched as she knelt by the fencing.

Assef's hand was still firmly gripping mine, warning me to be cautious. I knew that I was in full control of what was about to happen here. Zainab's laughter echoed through the clearing. 'You won't laugh for long, kunis,' I thought to myself as I hid behind a tree. I unzipped my bag and pulled out the knife. "Stay here," I warned my brother. He nodded and stood as still as he could behind the tree.

I approached Zainab from behind, crawling on my knees. She was blissfully unaware of the soon-to-be-killer approaching her. If she ran, she would have nowhere to go. I quickly put the knife to her throat and held it there. "Don't move," I hissed in her ear. She was too stupid to head my warnings and began struggling. I slashed her throat, letting her fall to the ground, gargling. I slammed her head into the asphalt.

"You didn't listen to me, did you, Zainab? You should have just stayed away from me! I thought I'd taught you a lesson a long time ago, but you had to keep screwing around with me, didn't you, you insufferable _bitch_!"

I raised the knife again and brought it down once more, making her gargle as it was now embedded deep into her jugular. She began spasming out on the floor, making me howl with laughter. "It's not a very good day for you, is it, Zainab?" I asked. All she could do was convulse as the life drained out of her. I brought the knife down on her flesh over and over again.

Her little body suddenly stopped moving. I stabbed her again, just to be doubly sure she actually was dead. Didn't want her recovering in hospital, did we? Her eyes were filled with tears as I leaned down and took the knife to her face, slashing one long jagged line. "Good night, and good riddance, fucker." I said in utter elation. I knew my mittens hid any traces of fingerprints, and I would be burning those. I stood up and admired my handiwork. "She's dead." It was a simple statement that brought me such joy!

Assef came out from his hiding place. He inspected the lifeless corpse. "Wonderful, very fucking wonderful," he told me with a laugh. "Did she put up much of a fight?"

I sighed dejectedly. "No, she was an easy kill. Pity, part of me wanted a challenge, my brother."

"Maybe next time. Come on, let's dispose of the bitch's carcass."

Assef lifted me up over the fence and picked up Zainab's body. She flopped like a little rag-doll as he handed her to me. Together we managed to drag the limp body half way through the woods. There was a steep drop that we rolled her down. She landed among some nettles. I watched with elation as she lay there. Now she had payed the price for messing with me. I noticed that my clothes were bloodied from carrying the body, and quickly snuck behind a tree to change. Assef at least had the decency to let me undress in peace. Once I was finished, I pulled off my bloodied mittens and deposited everything back into the bag.

We waited until the coast was clear before we made our way out of the woods. Assef took my hand and led me back into the market place. We did not have to say anything to each other. I trusted him with this secret the same way I trusted him with my life. Saria Ahmed was now a murderer. The sweet girl from Kabul had now committed a homicide. "Nobody will find out, Saria," I told myself. "You're in the clear..."


	8. Scrutiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In chapter 7, Saria brutally stabs Zainab to death with a steak knife. This cold, remorseless act only served to prove how far she was capable of going but she soon finds herself under scrutiny from the law...

"Stupid fucking tangles! Fucking hair!" I swore to myself as I stood in front of the mirror. Today I wore a sky blue dress which had a large bow in the back. Yet again, I felt like a fucking six year old. I was trying to tie my hair into pigtails with two ribbons that matched my dress. It was times like these that I wished I had straight hair like Adia.

Curls were so fucking hard to plait! Tedious morning routines like this always incurred my legendary wrath. I was overcome with a strong desire to throw my brush at the mirror. The memory of the repercussions I had faced after my tantrum in Adia's house was the only thing that stopped me from doing this. "Fucking hair!" I swore again. Already I could see my face going red with rage. Patience was definitely _not_ my strong point. I eventually managed to secure the ribbons into my hair. "I'm never doing this again!" I said aloud. "Never again! This is thirty fucking minutes out of my whole morning gone already!"

It was now a full fortnight since Zainab's untimely demise. It gave me great pleasure to think of her grieving family. The authorities had found my handiwork the Monday after I had murdered her. There were, of course, many worries in my mind pertaining to my part in the murder. Had I perhaps done something that could give subtle hints to what I had done? After much consideration, I assured myself that I was in the clear. I was just the sweet little girl from the big house with the palm trees. The horrid murder shocked the community. As always, nobody could believe that a person could be so cruel as to take the life of a sweet girl like Zainab. A girl with a future full of promise and hope ahead of her. A girl everybody had loved.

Well, not everybody. I felt no guilt whatsoever for what I had done. Zainab played with fire and got horribly, horribly incinerated. Was it my fault if she hadn't the sense to stay away from me, I ask you? Today I was going to spend another tedious afternoon with Adia and her hideous brother Masood. Masood was taking us to see the new cowboy movie in Cinema Zainab. I hated cowboy movies. They were so boring, and the violence was practically non-existent. I would have preferred to see a horror, but I knew that little Adia would not appreciate the blood and guts the same way I did.

Of course, I had already been the star of my own horror movie, hadn't I? The novelty of Zainab's murder had long since worn off. I really wanted to commit another violent crime. Who else could I kill? Maybe little Adia? My mind was filled with thoughts of how I could stab her skull, slit her throat from left to right! I wondered how it would feel to defecate within her mouth. Of course, I knew I could not turn my decrepid thoughts into actions. Not yet, anyway. It would not look good if another murder was committed so soon after the first one.

I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and made my way outside. Assef was sitting at the side of the pool. I smiled as I walked over to him. "Hey, kiddo," he said. I flopped down beside him. "What time is Adia coming to collect you?" Assef asked.

"Half eleven," I told him. "The film is on at twelve. Masood is taking us to market after to buy us each a doll."

"Isn't that sweet of him?" Assef asked sarcastically.

I laughed loudly. "Why can't I spend the day with you?" I lamented, resting my head upon Assef's shoulder.

He leaned down to kiss my forehead. "You don't want to see your friend, kiddo?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I hate her so much," I said angrily.

Assef laughed and ruffled my hair. "I know, kiddo. I know," he said, sympathetic to my plight. "You be careful while you're out," my brother warned.

"Why?" I asked.

"Didn't you hear? There's a murderer on the loose!" he teased, nudging me in the ribs.

"Oh goodness gracious!" I feigned shock, placing my hand upon my chest, my eyes opening wide. Assef and I both laughed.

"All jokes aside, Saria, do be careful. I know first hand how infuriating Masood can be, and I also know how little control you have when you get angry. You're just like me in that respect. Please don't do anything that could draw attention to yourself!" he begged me.

I waved a dismissive hand. "I'll be fine, Assef," I said.

"I just don't want anyone to find out what you did," he whispered. "I can't stand the thought of my baby sister being persecuted for murder!"

I looked up to see Mama walking towards us. "Shh!" I placed a finger on my lips. I smoothed down my dress and stood to attention. I beamed a false smile for my mother.

"Hello, Mama," I said.

"Hello, Saria, Assef." Assef raised his head and nodded once. "Masood is on his way over with Adia," Mama informed me. She knelt down and took me by the hands. We were now at the same height. "I want you to listen closely to me now, Saria," Mama ordered. I nodded.

"I want you to stick close to Masood and do exactly what he tells you. I don't need to tell you how dangerous it is out there, what with that little girl's death." I had to fight off a smirk as she said this. Mama's concerned face was a picture. What would she think if she knew she was speaking to Zainab's murderer right now? If she knew that her daughter had committed the worst sin?

I had to bite my lip to stop myself from bursting into hysterical laughter. "I'll be careful, Mama," I assured her. I decided to voice one of my inner concerns.

"Do they know who might have done it?" I asked innocently.

"Not yet, darling. Don't you worry, whoever did this _will_ be caught and they _will_ be punished. They will get what they deserve. Do you understand me?"

I nodded. "Yes, Mama."

"Alright. Good girl." She pressed a wad of money into my hand. "Buy yourself something nice."

I clapped my hands together in childish joy. "Oh thank you Mama!" I said excitedly.

"You're welcome, dear. Have fun... but be careful!" She warned once again. I rolled my eyes behind her back as I made my way to the front of the compound. I saw my bitch and her monstrous brother waiting for me at the gate. It was time once again to play the part. I squealed in false elation and ran to where Adia stood.

"Hello! It's so nice to see you again!" I giggled. I grabbed both of her arms and jumped up and down in excitement. Adia seemed confused by my behaviour, but she knew it was in her best interest to play along.

"Are you ready to go, Saria?" Masood asked me. "We must hurry if we don't want to miss the film."

"Thank you so much for taking us out, Masood," I said. I avoided looking at his grotesque face, fearing I would probably get sick if I did so. Really, someone ought to kill that boy and put their whole family out of the misery of having to raise such a monster.

"It's no problem, dear. I would do anything for my sister and her friends."

'But would you help her to move a body?' I thought to myself. Out loud I said, "Adia is so lucky to have a brother like you." He beamed at me.

I grabbed Adia by the hand and we set off. Adia and I chattered about dresses and dolls. Not all that different from what any other little girls would talk about together. Adia herself wore a simple outfit of t-shirt and jeans. She wore her black hair tied in a ponytail. Her t-shirt was stained with food. Clearly she had not bothered to wash her clothes since the last time she'd worn them.

'Disgusting cow,' I thought to myself. As we neared the cinema, Adia's face took on a somber look. "Did you hear about Zainab?" she asked in a timid little voice. Of course, our conversation had arrived at the murder. It was the talk of the town as I stated earlier. "It's so scary, isn't it?" Adia's voice squeaked with fear. I looked her right in the eye.

"Ich tötete sie. Ich schneide sie und machte sie zu bluten. Ich bin froh, dass ich es tat." This was German for; "I murdered her. I cut her and made her bleed. I'm glad I did it."

"What does that mean?" Masood questioned me. Neither of them had a clue. Fucking idiots.

"That means, "I hope they find out who did it. My thoughts are with her family," I lied.

"All of our thoughts and prayers are with that girl's relatives," Masood said, sadly.

"Well, here we are." We had arrived at the cinema. Masood led us up to the ticket booth. He took out a fistful of cash.

"I have money," I said hurriedly, not wanting to take his fucking charity.

"Oh, darling. This is a treat day," Masood informed me. "I'll be paying for your ticket."

"Oh, well thank you, Masood. You're so kind," I said politely.

"You're welcome, Saria. You're such a sweetheart," Masood complimented me. 'If only you knew,' I thought to myself. I flashed him an even bigger smile.

"I can't wait for the film to start!" Adia spoke up from behind me. "It's going to be soo much fun!"

"I know!" I said, bouncing up and down. We walked inside the theatre.

"Let's find a seat up the front," Masood said. "Do any of you girls need the toilet before we sit down?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm good. I went before I left the house."

"I'm fine too," Adia said.

"Okay, let's sit down." As we settled into our seats, Masood turned to us and said, "No talking in here, girls. We don't want to get thrown out. It's very important that we show respect for all the other people in here. Do you understand?" 'Fucking asswipe! Stop patronizing me!' I thought.

I felt strong detestation for Masood. Assef would _never_ speak to me like that. He treated me like an equal, even though I was five years younger than him. Our relationship was based on mutual respect. (For each other, not for other people) I pretended to be completly engrossed in the film, but really, my mind was elsewhere. Who would take the fall for Zainab's murder? As long as it wasn't me, I didn't care. Some fucking pervert could take the fall for me. Maybe a pedophile? I honestly couldn't give a fuck.

Adia was completly engrossed in what was going on on the large screen. She screamed when something frightening happened, and jumped whenever a gunshot went off. Masood seemed a little bit calmer. He reached over and placed a hand upon Adia's arm. He smiled at me. I returned the gesture as sweetly as possible for me. I stared at the screen, watching as one of the cowboys was shot in the chest. He fell to the ground and began spasticating on the floor. A mavolent smile played on my lips.

I wondered what it would feel like to shoot a person? To watch them lying on the ground, watch them slowly die at my feet, begging for a mercy I knew I could not give. I was disheartened by the fact that Zainab's death had been so quick. I wanted her to suffer more! I could only hope she was burning in hell for her crimes!

Hell. A place that many people will say I am bound for. I however, don't believe in all that "be a good person or you're going to hell" shite that people harp on with. To me, my misdeeds and my immortal soul are two completely separate things. What I do in this life should have no influence on where I went in the next. The film ended after an hour, and we walked outside.

"Did you enjoy that?" Masood asked us.

"Oh it was brilliant!" I said happily. "I loved all the action scenes."

"The gun shots scared me," Adia, the little bitch piped up. I had to fight back the urge to roll my eyes. "And the blood. So much blood. I hate blood."

'You'll be seeing a lot more blood if you continue to play my game,' I thought to myself. Masood slung an arm around his sister's shoulders.

"Come on girls. I'm going to buy you both a dolly each! My treat!" The gruesome scar on his face glinted in the golden light of the sun. I swallowed back some bile. I forced a childish grin, clapped my hands together.

"Thank you, Masood agha! Thank you!"

We walked to market. I looked around at the people going about their business. Zainab's friends sat in a corner, looking completely dejected. The horror of their friends murder was still fresh in their minds. One of them lifted her head and looked right at me. My middle finger twitched. I wanted to flip her the bird, but I knew I could not. How suspicious would that be?

I stared sadly back at her, letting her know she was in my thoughts. My thoughts of discord and terror, but of course she did not need to know that. She sniffled, and buried her face in her friend's shoulder. Do they suspect anything? I wondered as I hurried to keep up with Adia and Masood. Her friends knew all about the enemity between Zainab and I. Could they perhaps have guessed what I had done?

It wouldn't be too hard for them to put two and two together and realize I was the one who had murdered their beloved Zainab. I took solace in the knowledge that nobody other than those two girls could _ever_ suspect me of such a hainus crime. We reached the stall with the dolls. "Pick one out each, dears." Masood said, smiling down at me. I looked at the dolls. 'Stupid fucking things,' I thought to myself. I reached up and picked up a china doll with blonde ringlets, wearing an old fashioned Victorian dress.

"That one?" the seller asked. I nodded, looking at Masood. I read the price of the doll and smiled.

"If it's okay with you," I said, giving him my best "puppy dog eyes."

"Oh, Saria, that doll is so expensive. Why don't you pick something out a little cheaper?" I turned and glared at Adia. She knew me well enough to translate the meaning of my glare as "do something or face the consequences." She hurried to my defense.

"Oh Masood! Saria is our guest! She's my best friend! Please buy it for her! Please!"

Masood sighed; "Alright." He paid for both our new dolls. I clutched the china doll to my chest.

"Oh thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!" I jumped up and down in false elation, my nose buried in her blonde hair.

"Be careful!" Masood warned. "Don't you dare drop that doll!" I stopped bouncing.

Adia clung to her doll, a small matchstick thing. "I have the bestest brother ever!" she gushed.

"I doubt that," I teased gently.

"Saria!" I turned to see Wali and Kamal hurrying towards me, my brother with them. Assef looked uneasy. "Saria, you have to come home with me now. Family matters." I grabbed his hand, and said my goodbyes, and thank yous to Masood. He smiled, wished me well.

"Assef, what's going on?" I asked as he walked with me down the street.

"Police want to talk to you. About the murder."

My heart almost stopped. My eyes widened. "WHAT?" I screamed.

"Shh, it's okay. They say it's just a routine. They're talking to all the children in Zainab's class." We had reached our home. I had never feared it more. Assef gently kissed my forehead.

"Remember, they don't know anything. Just play your cards right and we'll both be in the clear. I love you so much, kiddo and don't you ever forget it."

"I love you too, Assef," I said. Then, we went inside. I was a bundle of nerves, my mind was going at one hundred miles an hour. Assef rested his hand on my shoulder, rubbing my back. "It's going to be okay, sweetheart. I promise." His words did nothing to soothe my anxious brain. I wiped my eyes. I knew that I had to be extra careful with what I said and did.

Even the slightest wrong word or action could be detrimental to me. I straightened up, fixed my plaits, took a deep breath, and stepped into the kitchen. "Saria." The man standing in my kitchen held an air of authority. Instantly, I tensed up. 'Remember Saria, be careful,' I warned myself. I put my best face forward.

"Good afternoon, agha." I bowed my knees, holding out the hem of my dress. He smiled at me, and I instantly felt ten times more confident. I had this thing in my fucking grasp.

"My brother said you wanted to speak with me?" I continued smiling patiently.

"Yes, it will only take a few minutes. Why don't we go somewhere more private." He looked at me and I felt he was looking into my very soul. Could he see the darkness lurking within? He led me into the privacy of my father's study. We both sat down on opposite chairs, facing each other. The officer took out a small note pad and pen.

"Forgive me, I haven't introduced myself. You can call me Abdal."

"It's nice to meet you, Abdal," I said politely.

"Just for the record," he said, "your name is Saria Ahmed. Correct?"

I nodded and he scribbed the information down on his notepad. There was a tense silence between us. Abdal looked up at me, giving a small, reassuring smile. "Saria, I'm talking to all the girls in your class about the death of Zainab Qualmari. It's very important that we get all the information we can find to help us punish the person responsible." As he said the words, I felt myself tense up. Did he know anything?

"You were in the same class as Zainab," Abdala noted, his eyes boring into mine.

I nodded. "Yes, sir."

He continued taking notes. "Did you know Zainab personally, Saria? Were you a friend of hers?"

"I didn't," I said. "Not personally. I mean, I saw her a lot in class but we never really talked." Of course, I decided to leave out all the times Zainab and I had tormented each other. It would not be clever of me to bring that up. Not in this situation. I was clever enough to know when to hold my tongue.

"Where were you two weeks ago on the night of the fourteenth?" Abdal's pen was poised, ready to write.

I took a breath; here was the question I was dreading. "I was at home with my brother," I said. "You can ask him."

"Now, Saria, from the information we gathered from your parents, you yourself suffered a beating a few weeks ago."

"Y-yes," I lowered my eyes. "I don't remember who it was, though. I passed out before I could get a good glimpse of his face."

Abdal wrote this down. "The reason I'm asking, Saria, is that there's a possibility that the person who beat you could be the same one who killed Zainab. Are you sure there's nothing you remember about this man?"

I shook my head. "No, sir, I'm s-sorry." He wasn't getting anything good from me. The thought he wanted to blame my 'mystery' attacker brought a great sense of joy to my sadistic heart. I was certain they would find someone to take the fall for me.

"Alright," Abdal sighed. "That will be all, Saria. Thank you for your time, sweetheart. I promise, the person who did this will be caught and they _will_ be punished." I had already heard this from my mother. I gave a small smile.

"I h-hope so. Zainab deserves justice." Oh and she had gotten _exactly_ the justice she deserved, though not in the way Abdal or anyone else would think.

Before he left, Abdal leaned down and put a hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, love, we'll catch whoever hurt her. I promise."

Later that evening, I sat on my bed, contemplating the days events. Assef sat beside me, as I leaned my head against his shoulders. My mind brought me back to a question Abdal had asked me; "Did Zainab have any enemies?" I had answered no, but the true answer was yes. Zainab did have an enemy. She had sat right in front of Abdal. She had fooled him with her charm, as she had fooled so many other people. Her name was Saria Ahmed.


	9. Hassan's Threats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8 saw Saria questioned by the police regarding Zainab's death. She was able to manipulate the officer into seeing her as simply an innocent little girl. Now, we find her getting ready for bed but her perfect world is soon to be shattered...

One whole month had passed since Zainab's demise and I would be returning to school in a week's time, the spring of 1974. I honestly could not wait to return to the classroom. Through research, I had learned that I was in the school next to Amir's. How thrilling was that? So close to the boy I was in love with, the boy I wanted for my own. My sweet little Adia would be in that class too, so I knew I would never be lonely.

I kept the china doll Masood had bought me on a shelf in my room. I never touched her, just looked at her. She was so pretty, with her blonde ringlets, her pale skin, and old-fashioned clothes. I looked at her, and I wondered whether this is what people saw when they looked at me. I was just like that porceain doll. On the outside, there was beauty, innocence, but when you scratched below the surface, there was nothing, just cold. Dark. Adia had lost her doll, had dropped it one day out walking, and had, I heard, cried all the way home. "Stupid fucking bitch, crying over a doll. Wish I could've been there, I'd have shut her up good," I laughed to myself.

It was now early evening, and I had just taken my nightly bath. I dressed in a white nightgown and brushed my blonde hair so it cascaded down my back. I took out my book and sat into bed, pulling the covers up to my chin. I flicked the pages until I reached the page of my favourite tale; Rostam and Sohrab. I lay back against my pillow and began reading. If I read for an hour, I'd surely tire myself out, wouldn't I? I thumbed through the pages. I had read this story so many times, I felt like I could quote it word for word. "If thou art indeed my father," I whispered, my mouth curving upwards at the image of this boy being stabbed by his own _father_! Thrilling, wasn't it?

After about an hour, as predicted, I began to feel quite tired. I closed my book and slid it under the bed: I could not be bothered getting up and putting it away. "Only one more week of sleeping in," I moaned to myself. I lay down and pulled the covers up to my chin, turning out my beside lamp. I snuggled down and shut my eyes. At first, I thought the banging noises were fireworks. I lay in bed, my eyes closed, hoping they'd go away. Fireworks never lasted long. But these, these were different. Louder, if that was possible. I slowly sat up. The room was engulfed in darkness, and it took my eyes a few moments to adjust. I rubbed my temple.

"What the fuck?" I jumped as I heard another bang, closer this time. "FUCK!" I swore loudly. What was happening? After some thought, I concluded that the noises were, in fact, gunfire. What were they shooting? _Who_ were they shooting? Could they be coming for me next? For my family? My brother?

These were all very real concerns of mine. I hurriedly leapt from my bed, my bare feet making no sound as they hit the carpet. I stumbled around in the blackness until I reached the doorknob. I practically fell out into the landing, my heart thudding. From down the hall, I could hear Papa's loud snoring and Mama's humming, but I had no interest in going to my parents. I felt along the wall until I reached my brother's door. I didn't even bother to knock, just walked inside. "Assef?" I was surprised by how small my voice came out. He sat up in bed, his eyes blurry from sleep.

"W-what is it, kiddo?" Another noise made me jump and scurry over to him. Assef pulled back the covers and I crawled into the bed beside him.

"What's going on?" I asked. "Are those guns?"

Assef nodded. "Yes. The king's going to be gone tomorrow."

My eyes widened. " _Dead_?"

"I don't know. Does it matter? Daoud Khan is going to be president. You remember Daoud Khan, don't you?" I shook my head. Assef smiled. "He came last year. He and Father, they get along quite well, and Daoud Khan's always seemed to like me."

"And he'll be our new president?" I asked.

"I have no doubt about it. And, Saria, things are going to be different around here, I can feel it." I rested my head against my brother's chest as he played with a lock of my hair.

"I'm going to ask Daoud Khan to do what that kunis of a king never had the balls to. To get rid of the Hazaras."

"Forever?"

"Forever. Send them off, murder them, put them in work camps. Final solution and all that."

I smirked. "I want dibs on Hassan. Filthy cunt's got it coming to him."

Assef kissed the top of my head. "You and me, Saria, we're going to make the world a better place, eliminate the filth. Mark my words." I stretched my arms out in front of me, cracked my knuckles. Another gunshot went off. I couldn't stop the whimper that escaped my lips. Assef held me to him. "Remember Saria, they can't hurt you. They're our friends."

I looked down. My heart was pounding in my chest with every gunshot. "Trust me, Saria. I would _never_ lie to you. Never. Nobody is going to hurt you." I looked up at my brother through tear filled eyes and smiled. As usual, he'd made me feel a million times better.

"Father's still asleep," I noted. "I can hear him snoring."

"That man would sleep through an earthquake. Forget about checking your children are okay. Stupid asshole," Assef muttered under his breath. I nodded in agreement.

Another flash of light illuminated the night sky, though, this time, it did not bother me. I had my brother's reassurances that I would not be harmed. That was enough for me. "You can stay here with me if you want, kiddo," Assef said. "I won't mind. Plenty of room, and besides, your room is closer to the front, so those guns will keep you up all night." I nodded, stifling a yawn, and snuggled down next to him.

The cold winter air streaming in through the window woke me the next morning, which was odd, I thought, because I never left the window open. I looked around me, rubbing my eyes with my fists. It must have been about half ten, or eleven. I stretched my arms over my head. "Morning, kiddo, sleep well?" Assef asked, sitting up beside me. I screamed and fell from the bed, landing heavily on my backside.

"FUCK!" I gasped, my hand over my heart. "You scared the hell out of me. What are you doing in my room?" Assef laughed and extended a hand to pull me up.

"We're in my room, kiddo. You came in here last night because of the gun shots. Don't you remember?" Instantly, the memory of last night's terrifying gunfire, and my brother's soothing words came back to me.

"I remember." I pointed to the open window. "You let the window open. Weren't you cold?"

"I did? Oh sorry, Saria, I must have forgotten to close it. You weren't too cold, were you?"

I shook my head. "Winter's almost over now. One week until spring. And school." I added as an afterthought. Assef smiled and ruffled my already-tangled hair. "I know, kiddo. We'll make the most of the week we have left together. Promise." He kissed my cheek and stood up. "I hate to ask you to leave, but I'm meeting Wali and Kamal in an hour and I need to get dressed." I nodded in understanding and left the room.

The silence that met me on the corridor was eiree compared to the loud guns that had woken me the previous night. I couldn't stop myself from wondering that something bad _had_ happened, and that I had slept through it. I imagined myself flinging open the door to my parent's room, to find their cold dead bodies lying in front of me, stained with blood. I imagined men coming for me, taking me to an orphanage.

I imagined myself screaming in my brother's arms, begging to be allowed stay together, as strangers wrestled us apart. To be thrown into a world where I had nothing, and no one. Everyone always says I have an over-active imagination. "You're worrying for nothing," I chastised myself as I took out my clothes and shoes. "Assef told you there was nothing to be scared of. Daoud Khan's going to be president and he's going to _change_ things! No more Hazara's, Saria," Those words instantly calmed me. "Just think, Hassan will be gone. Amir and I can be together!"

I laughed to myself and spun around, arms outstretched. I dressed in a light pink dress with a pink ribbon at the back, and tied my hair into two pigtails. I looked at myself in the mirror. "Don't you look pretty?" I said aloud and the angelic child staring back at me mouthed those same words.

I took another look at my china doll. Her glassy eyes seemed to stare into my very soul. It unnerved me, to have this china-version of myself stare at me. Was this what Adia felt like, when she looked into my eyes? What about Zainab? My face had been the last thing she saw. Had she seen the coldness in my blue eyes as I plunged that knife into her skin? Did her life flash before her, and end with the eyes of her killer? Was I her china doll?

I walked downstairs and into the kitchen. My heart thudded as I opened the door. I needed to see with my own eyes that nothing had gone wrong, that we were all safe. That those guns had not affected us. I walked inside to find my mother handing out plates of breakfast, and my father sifting through the morning paper. I let out a sigh of relief. "Good morning," I said, bowing my knees and extending the hem of my dress between my fingers. Mama's simpering smile was hilarious.

"And a very good morning to you, my little sweetpea," she said, pulling me into a hug. 'Fuck, bitch, what's got you so happy?' I wondered. Mama pulled away from me, held me at arm's length, scrutinized every inch of me. "You're such a good girl, Saria, do you know that?" she asked.

"Yes, Mama, thank you." I looked down shyly. She hugged me to her again. "I'm blessed to have such wonderful children." She extended an arm to Assef, offering him to join the uncomfortable embrace. Assef narrowed his eyes for a moment before returning to his breakfast. Mama's smile faltered, but she knew better than to push it.

I wriggled out of my mother's arms and went to sit beside my brother. He smiled and kissed my hair. I hopped up on a stool beside him and tucked in. Papa flicked through the paper. "Did you hear the gunshots last night?" I asked him.

He nodded. "They didn't bother me, though, I slept right through them. What about you?"

"I-" I started but Assef cut across me.

"She came in to me last night, shaking like an Autumn leaf, terrified out of her wits. I let her sleep in my bed. Took me a while to calm her down."

"Oh, baby," Mama cooed. Instantly, she was at my side, stroking my hair, pressing me to her chest.

"It's okay, darling," Papa reached across and took my hand. "Everything is going to be okay." Words of comfort they should have spoken last night, words that I had already heard from my brother.

"Just thought you ought to know," Assef remarked. I looked into his eyes and I could see his fury towards our parents for their lack of care. Not just for me, but him too. As I watched him glare at them, a memory of a time long ago came to me.

_I am four years old, unsteady on my feet, a mess of blond hair and gap-teeth. Assef is nine. We're supposed to be in bed, but neither of us can sleep. There's a storm outside, and the loud noises terrify us. A flash of lightning. Thunder. I jump and begin to cry. Assef presses me to his chest, kisses my head._ _"It's okay," he tries to reassure me but his voice comes out shaken._

_"I want Mama," I whimper. We go to our parents room, knock on the door. No answer. The noises come again. Assef's eyes are filled with tears. He opens the door, steps inside._

_"We're scared. Can we stay with you tonight?"_

_Mama rolls over, looks at us through sleepy eyes._ _"It's just lightning." she says. "Just a silly old storm."_

_"Don't be so stupid, the pair of you," Papa snaps. "Go back to bed. We all need our rest." Assef looks them both in the eyes, arm still firmly around my shoulders. I am openly sobbing now._

_"Mommy, please." His voice, choked with tears, pleading. I will never forget it._ _"Mommy..." She waves us away. Assef leads me into his room, tucks me into bed. Kisses my forehead._

_"I love you, sister," he whispered in my ear. The sound of his accent was soothing. I look up at him and kiss him on the cheek._

_"I love you too," I lisp. He climbs into bed with me, covers my ears with his hands, hums some old song to soothe me to sleep. It's possibly the first time anyone has ever taken my fears seriously. I love my brother in this moment. Love him more than I've ever loved anyone._

I felt my eyes prick with tears, and quickly lept from the table. "Excuse me," I said hurriedly, brushing past my mother, almost knocking the glass in her hand to the ground as I hurried out of the room. I tore up the stairs and slammed the door to my room, sliding down the wall and burying my face in my knees.

Memories of my childhood always brought out that emotional side of me. Sure, I had been given enough toys to last an eternity, but that meant nothing to the lost, lonely little girl who craved her parents affection. Mama and Papa were always too busy with money to bother with their children. Assef has always been there for me, guiding me, being a shoulder to cry on, chasing away any monsters that scare or hurt me. As far as I am concerned, in the emotional sense of the word; I am an orphan. My "parents" can burn in hell for all I care.

Even now, they did not come up the stairs to check whether I was alright. Too busy with the paper I guess. Assef knocked on the door a few minutes later, as I expected. "Saria, are you alright? Can I come in?" I nodded and opened the door.

"Oh, kiddo," Assef sighed, reaching out to cup my cheek. I must have been crying. I hadn't noticed.

"I was thinking about the storm," I muttered. Assef nodded sympathetically and pulled me into his arms. We sat down on the bed together and I crawled into his lap.

"The storm when you were four?" he asked.

I nodded. "Hearing those noises last night, brought it all back. They don't _care_ , Assef!" I choked. "Fucking hell, they never have and they never will! Money, money, money, it's all I hear; day in, day out! Why did they even _have_ children if they don't give two shits about them?"

"I don't know. I really don't," Assef muttered, resting his head against mine. He gently rubbed my back as I trembled with both sadness and rage.

I was snivelling now but I could not help myself. "You know something, Assef? I wish I _was_ an orphan. I already feel like one."

"You know I'm here for you, Saria. You know that, right?"

I nodded. "I know, Assef. You've been more of a parent to me than Mama or Papa could ever dream to be."

"Do you want to come with me today?" my brother asked. "I'm sure Wali and Kamal won't mind."

"They won't?" I asked.

"Of course they won't. They love you. How could anyone _not_ love you, kiddo?"

"I can think of many reasons!" I snickered. "We'll watch the kite fighting tournament again this year, nay?" I asked.

"Caa, jan."

"Do you remember the kite runner who climbed that tree? Broke his back, never walked again?"

"Hilarious."

"Yep. I love watching people get hurt. It's sort of thrilling, no?"

"So amazing." Assef kissed the top of my head. "Get your coat. I'll wait for you downstairs." He ruffled my hair once more and left. I pulled on my duffle coat but didn't bother to close it, as the day was quite humid. I stepped out of my room and walked down stairs to meet my brother. "MOTHER, FATHER, I'M MEETING WALI AND KAMAL!" Assef called. "SARIA'S GOING WITH ME."

No response. Assef shrugged and took my hand. We walked into the street. As usual, it didn't take long to get to Kamal's house, and I was surprised to see Kamal already there, waiting. "Nice to see you again, Saria." Kamal smiled at me. I returned the gesture, bowing my knees.

"And it's nice to see you both as well," I said.

"Daoud Khan is president, did you hear?" Wali informed us.

Assef beamed. "Didn't I tell you, Saria?" he asked as I leaned back against his legs.

"You sure did," I replied childishly.

"A day for celebration. What do you want to do today, kiddo?"

"I'm happy with just going for a walk," I answered honestly. "If that suits you three, I mean."

"A walk it is then." Assef slipped his hand into mine, and kissed the top of my head. I beamed up at him. To anyone watching it would have seemed like an innocent scene. A girl and her brother. Happy families. Even now I amaze myself at the simple childish gestures I could perfect. Assef continued to hold my hand as we walked down the road together. I began to hum an old song I had learned from one of the elderly Mullah's at school. He had been the one who organised the cinema trip.

Remember, the one where I locked Zainab in the closet for three days? He'd retired soon after that. I recently heard he'd gotten a heart attack and died about seven months following. I like to think my behaviour had something to do with that Hazara loving asswipe's death. A twisted sort of karma, if I may. I sniggered to myself. "What's funny, jan?" Assef asked.

I looked up at him. "Nothing. Just memories. Happy, happy memories," I smiled up at him.

"I know something that's going to make you even happier, Saria. Look. It's your two little friends." He pointed to the distance. I had to crane my head to see it. Sure enough, Amir was walking down the road a few paces ahead of us. Hassan was with him. "Would you like to go over and say hello?" I nodded. Assef picked up a rock and hurled it at Hassan. It hit his back, making him stumble. I saw him moan in pain. I clapped my hands together gleefully. Amir turned around. I could see the fear written on his face. It tore at my heart.

"Good afternoon, kunis!" Assef exclaimed, spreading his arms aloft.

Hassan stepped behind Amir, shaking like an Autumn leaf, as the expression goes. "Hey, flat-nose," Assef said. "How is Babalu?"

He was, of course, referencing Hassan's father, a man with hideous features to rival Masoods. Hassan's eyes widened in fear and he continued to creep ever so slowly behind Amir, as if hoping to make himself invisible. "Have you heard the news, boys?" Assef asked.

"The king is gone! Good riddance! Long live the president! My father knows Daoud Khan, did you know that, Amir?"

"S-so does my father." My poor Amir was shaking now. I felt sympathy for him, even though the whole scene was rather hilarious.

"So does my father," Assef mimicked.

I snickered behind my palm. "Well, Daoud Khan dined at our house last year. How do you like that, Amir?" When Amir didn't reply, Assef went on. "Do you know what I'm going to tell Daoud Khan the next time he comes to our house for dinner? I'm going to have a little chat with him, man to man, mard to mard. I'm going to tell him what I told my mother. About Hitler. Now there was a leader. A great leader. A man with a vision."

I leaned my head against Assef's legs. He rested his hand on my shoulder. "I'll tell Daoud Khan to remember that if they had just let Hitler finish what he'd started, the would be a better place now."

"Baba says Hitler was crazy and he ordered a lot of innocent people killed."

"You sound like my mother and she's German, she should know better. But then they want you to believe that, don't they? They don't want you to know the truth." I was smiling like the chesire cat. This whole conversation was thrillng. "But you have to read books they don t give out in school," Assef explained. "I have. And my eyes have been opened. Now I have a vision, and I m going to share it with our new president. Do you know what it is?" Amir didn't respond. Assef carried on regardless. "Afghanistan is the land of Pashtuns. It always has been, always will be. We are the true Afghans, the pure Afghans, not this Flat-Nose here. His people pollute our homeland, our watan. They dirty our blood. Afghanistan for Pashtuns, I say. That's my vision."

' _Our_ vision,' I thought to myself.

"Too late for Hitler," Assef said. "But not for us."

I noticed him reaching for the brass knuckles. I beamed. "I'll ask the president to do what the king didn 't have the quwat to do. To rid Afghanistan of all the dirty, kasseef Hazaras."

"J-just let us go, Assef." Amir's voice was shaking. "We're not bothering you."

"Oh, you're bothering me," Assef retorted. I looked up at him. He gave me a simple smile before turning his attention back to where the frightened boy stood. "You're bothering me very much. In fact, you bother me more than this Hazara here. How can you talk to him, play with him, let him touch you?"

His voice dripped with disgust. He slipped the brass knuckles onto his hand. I couldn't hide my smile. Shit was really about to go down now! "How can you call him your friend?" I was wondering the same thing. "You're part of the problem, Amir. If idiots like you and your father didn t take these people in, we d be rid of them by now. They d all just go rot in Hazarajat where they belong. You're a disgrace to Afghanistan."

Assef raised his fist. Lunged for Amir. I wondered whether I should do something and after a moment's pause, decided against it. Amir needed to learn that the way he treated Hassan was wrong. He needed to know his place before we could be together properly. If a beating from my brother taught him that, I was more than willing to watch it happen. I didn't get to watch any beating, however. Hassan picked up a rock, placed it in his slingshot.

"Please leave us alone, Agha," he said.

Assef stopped what he was doing. "Put it down, you motherless Hazara."

"Please leave us be, Agha," Hassan repeated.

"Maybe you didn't notice, but there are four of us and two of you."

"You are right, Agha. But perhaps you didn't notice that I'm the one holding the slingshot. If you make a move, they ll have to change your nickname from Assef the Ear Eater to One-Eyed Assef, because I have this rock pointed at your left eye." I froze in shock. Was this little cunt _threatening_ my brother? I had an urge to fly at him, to let him _really_ have it, but Kamal held me back. I hissed like a feral cat.

"You should know something about me, Hazara," Assef said gravely. "This doesn't end today. I'm a very patient person. This doesn't end for you either, Amir. Some day I'll make you face me one on one. Come along, Saria." He took my hand and began to lead me away. "Your Hazara made a very big mistake today Amir."

I was almost shaking with rage as Assef led me away from the scene. How fucking dare that boy threaten my brother like that? Did he have any idea of the repercussions of his actions? My mind flashed to the way I had burned cigarettes into Adia's stomach. Maybe I could do the same to Hassan. Did I even need the cigarettes? I could just burn him with a lighter! It was decided then. The next time I saw him, I would make him pay for what he had done. I would stand up for Assef, the way he always stands up for me.

Hassan, I will make you bleed. You will regret your actions today. Mark my words.


	10. Birthday Wishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria was absolutely disgusted to watch Hassan threaten to shoot her brother's eye out with his slingshot.. She made a mental note that she wanted to burn Hassan for what he did. Now, we find that it's her 12th birthday but how will she feel when her supposed 'best friend' forgets it?

I felt no different today then I usually did, and I wondered, 'is there something wrong with me?' Today was my twelfth birthday but I didn't feel twelve. I still felt like the eleven year old I had been when I went to bed the night before. On the one hand, like any other young girl, I was extremely excited for my birthday, but on the other, the thought of getting older unnerved me. One year from this exact day, I would be thirteen. A teenager. Then fourteen, fifteen and so on. I knew that I would not be able to keep up the pretenses much longer.

Eventually, like everyone else, I would be an adult. I wouldn't be able to use my youth and innocence to fool people as I did now. The snow was beginning to melt. In four days time, I would return to school with Adia. We were going to travel in Javid's car, along with the grotesque Masood. Masood and Assef were in the same class, which pleased my brother a lot when he found out. The scar on Masood's face showed no sign of disappearing.

I knew he would be disfigured for the rest of his life. He would probably die alone, with no wife. No honour. No namoos. After all, what self-respecting woman would want a man who looked the way he did? No family would allow their daughter to marry someone like that. People would talk, would whisper behind their backs. I know that my parents would _never_ in a million years allow their precious only daughter to marry someone so vile.

The clock was ticking on the wall behind me. I, along with my parents and brother, was gathered in the living room. I wore a white dress with pink polka dots, and a ribbon tied at the back. My hair had been curled, and held back by a pink ribbon. "Happy birthday, my baby." Mama handed me a white envelope. "This is from the both of us." She inicated towards Papa.

"Thank you," I replied politely, ripping open the envelope. A wad of cash flew out. I beamed and clutched it to my chest. "Thank you! Thank you!" I hugged each of them tightly. I clapped my hands together excitedly like a fucking seal.

"Read the card," Papa smiled stupidly at me. I looked down at it while they watched me intently.

Our darling Saria,

Twelve years old already! How time flies! Our little girl is growing up. It feels like only yesterday when you were born, our precious baby. We can't tell you how much we love you. There are no words for it. Over the years, you've grown from a gap-toothed little toddler, to a beautiful young woman. You are so beautiful, inside and out. We are so proud of you, and the person you are becoming. We love you more than anything. Love, Mama and Papa Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"T-this is beautiful. Thank you," I whispered. I bit my lip, trying hard not to laugh. 'We are so proud of the person you are becoming.' That showed how little my parents knew about me. I squeezed my eyes shut and a single tear fell down my cheek. "I love you too," I said, embracing them.

Assef threw something at me and I caught it. I smiled at him and tore open the wrapping paper. A brown-haired rag doll tumbled onto my lap. I beamed and hugged her to my chest. "She's so _cute!_ " I squealed. "I love her! Thank you!" I reached up and flung my arms around my brother's neck.

"You're welcome," he replied. "You'll get your _real_ present from me later. Be patient," he whispered in my ear. I nodded and kissed him on the cheek. Assef's card was a lot less sentimental than my parent's with none of the bullshit.

Saria, Happy twelfth birthday, kiddo. Enjoy it. I love you. Assef x

"You look an absolute picture in your dress, Saria," Mama gushed. "Stand up, let's take a look at you." I instantly obeyed, getting to my feet and putting myself on display from them both to ogle at me. I smoothed down the front of my dress and dipped a polite curtsey. Mama placed a hand over her mouth, her eyes misting over.

"Give us a twirl, Saria," Papa ordered. I closed my eyes and spun around twice, feeling utterly foolish. I truly felt like an animal in a zoo, something for them to ogle at and fawn over.

"You're like a little princess," Mama said. "Such a pretty little pet, aren't you?" She embraced me so tightly I felt my circulation was being cut off. "Do you like your party dress, baby?" I nodded as best I could with my face pressed up against her legs. "My baby is growing up." She released me, and I rolled my eyes behind her back. As usual, she didn't even notice. I could get away with practically anything, especially today.

"We have a _huge_ surprise for you later today, jan," Papa said. I looked up.

" _Really?_ What is it? Tell me!" I had to try extra hard to feign enthusiasm. God only knows what babyish surprise my mother and father had planned.

"Well, that would ruin the surprise wouldn't it?" Mama said in a babyish voice. Literally. You'd think she was talking to a one year old. "We, that is, your father and I, are going for a drive to pick it up. We'll be back by about tea time. Okay?"

"Alright," I shrugged. In all honesty I was glad to get them out of my hair.

"We'll go for a walk, Saria," Assef said, smiling warmly at me. "It's too nice a day to be stuck inside."

"Wear a coat and mittens, though," Mama said. "It's absolutely freezing out there! You too, Assef, we don't want either of you to catch a chill." Assef rolled his eyes and smiled at me sympathetically. He hugged me and kissed the top of my head.

"Come upstairs with me. I have something for you," he whispered in my ear.

As I entered Assef's room, I couldn't help but wonder what he had bought me. The doll he had given me earlier was adorable, and I knew he was well aware of the torture I would put her through. "Do you like your doll, kiddo?" He must have read my mind. "She sort of looks like Zainab, nay? If you ever get angry you can play with her. Relive that moment." He leaned down and kissed my blonde hair. "I have never been more proud of you than I was when you killed her." He reached under his bed and pulled out a small box.

"Happy birthday," he said, handing it to me. "Now, for goodness sake, don't let Mother and Father see this." I nodded and lifted the lid. Inside was a small lighter, black in colour, with a silver chain attached. Perfect for burning a certain Hazara who had humiliated my brother.

I stared at it, imagining Hassan's Chinese face crumpling in pain, his tiny eyes filling with tears. "Well, do you like it?" I nodded and threw my arms around his neck.

"I love it! Thank you! You're like a freaking' mind-reader, Assef, did you know that?"

He laughed and ruffled my hair. "Glad you like it. Go and get your coat and we'll go for a walk."

"Wali and Kamal coming?" I asked.

"No, Wali's got the vomiting bug and Kamal's in trouble at home."

"Why?"

"Got caught stealing."

"Poor Kamal," I said sympathetically. I did feel for him on some level. Still, he shouldn't have been stupid enough to get caught now, should he?

I buttoned up my coat and put on a pair of mittens as Mama had ordered. I had, of course, hidden Assef's present with my other "weapons" under the bed. I literally could not wait to use it. Today was turning out to be a lot better than I had anticipated. Assef and I walked down the road, me skipping on ahead. As usual, I couldn't help but wonder what I looked like to an outsider.

The pretty blonde child - a strange sight for a country like Afghanistan - full of charm and poise. I could pass for nine or ten, if I wanted to, with my short stature and childish mannerisms. My mind wandered to Amir. Hopefully my first love. My _husband_ if we could get rid of Hassan. I hoped I would not see them today. I knew that my anger would be too great to hold in if I did, and I didn't want to do anything I would later regret. I was still reeling from that day on the hill.

As we walked further into market, I noticed a young girl walking a few paces ahead of us, singing some old Farsi song. Her long black hair hung in a plait which swished from side to side as she walked. I smiled widely. It was Adia. "Oh this is too brilliant!" I beamed. "Happy birthday to me!" I turned and ran back to Assef. "Look, there's Adia." I pointed to her.

"Do you want to go play with her?" he asked. "I won't mind. You should spend the day with your best friend." I clapped my hands excitedly, thinking of all the "fun" Adia and I could have together. "Go on. I'll be back at the house." I nodded and hurried to catch up with Adia.

I placed my hands over her eyes. She screamed. "Guess who?" I giggled. She turned and her mouth quivered in fear.

"Saria, h-how are you?"

"Oh, I'm all the better now that I've seen you!" I exclaimed. I hooked my arm under the crook of her elbow. "Let's go play in the woods." We set off. As we walked, I noticed that not once did Adia wish me a happy birthday. I didn't say anything. She would remember. I had drilled it into her for the past week and a half.

She couldn't have forgotten. Adia was silent as I led her into the woods. The very same woods where I had marked her as my property. I could smell the fear resonating from her, and it was like a drug. I could not get enough of it. I sat down on a fallen tree and pulled her down with me. "Don't look so frightened, jan. I just wanted to talk." She nodded like the obedient dog she is.

I swung my legs back and forth childishly, giggling to myself. Adia was rigid, her eyes searching mine for some sign of the madness she knew lurked within. "I won't hurt you," I told her truthfully. "Not today."

"Okay," she replied. She still hadn't wished me a happy birthday. An acknowledgement was all I asked of her. I didn't even expect her to get me anything. Just to take notice of the fact that this was a very important day in her best friends life. I gave that girl _everthing._ I was all she had. Was this how she repaid me? All I asked was that she remember one simple date! I leaned back and sighed deeply. I was becoming enraged and we couldn't have that now, could we?

"You l look real pretty today, Saria," Adia complimented me. I got to my feet, spun around, my arms aloft. Laughed.

"Thank you. Mama bought me this dress specially." I looked pointedly at her, hoping she would remember.

"It's _really_ pretty!" she said again. I giggled and dipped a polite curtsey.

"I had to dress up today. Do you know what today is?" I asked her outright, leaning in to her face. She stumbled and almost fell flat on her backside. I picked up a rock, held it close to her face. "Think long and hard about that answer. We wouldn't want someone as pretty as you to "have an accident?" would we?"

I stroked her cheek with the rock. She whimpered. Licked her lips. I caught her wrist and pulled her up. We were now almost nose to nose. "You don't know, do you?" She shook her head.

"That's too bad. I won't tell you. We're going to play a little game of chase. I'll give you a head start. You'd better have remembered by the time I catch up to you. On your marks, get set, _go_!" She took off running into the woods.

I waited about five minutes until I could no longer see her, then I began the chase. In all honesty, I was kind of hoping that she wouldn't remember. I clutched the rock tightly. I stumbled clumsily over rocks and fallen branches, giggling like a drunkard. This was going to be fun! I couldn't wait to catch up with her, make that little bitch pay for forgetting about me. My hair was getting messy, but I didn't care. I just kept running. Adia had to be close now. I stopped, looked up at the trees. I had run for what felt like ten whole minutes.

"Come out, Adia!" I called. "Come on out and play! You're not scared of me, are you?" I chortled, already knowing the answer. "Why don't you face me? Come on, little one!"

Nothing. "You're a coward, Adia! A coward just like your freak of a brother! Assef should have killed him when he had the chance!"

I felt something slam into me from behind, and I fell to the ground, landing heavily on my knees. I winced in pain. Looked up. That little bitch! "Don't talk about Masood like that!" she screamed, her face red with rage. "Don't you _dare_ talk about my brother like that! He's ten million times the mard Assef will ever be!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed her bend down and pick up a rock. I didn't even have time to react before the rock collided with the side of my head. I winced in pain, clenched my fists. I would not cry. I would not give her the satisfaction. I heard footsteps retreating behind me; Adia had fled. I shakily got to my feet. The front of my dress was covered in mud. I tentatively touched my head, then stared at my hand as I pulled it away.

Blood. Tears fell from my eyes and onto the floor. "Stupid bitch, stupid fucking bitch!" I muttered, my voice shaking. I started to walk out of the woods. My knee was aching, and I had to stop myself from falling over. Eventually, I made it back to the house. I snuck in the back, closed the door gently behind me. I could only hope that my parents weren't home yet. I tiptoed into the kitchen, sat down shakily in a chair.

Assef walked into the room. "God, what happened to you?" he asked. The concerned look in his eyes opened the floodgates for me. I ran to him and flung my arms around him. He squatted down so we were on a level, and held my hands. "What's wrong? What happened?" His eyes flickered to my head. "You're bleeding!" he exclaimed.

I nodded and told him everything that had transpired in the woods with Adia. "Well, first of all, we need to take a look at your head." He helped me sit up on the kitchen table. "Do you feel okay? You don't have a concussion or anything?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm fine. It just stings a little, that's all."

"You sure? That's a fair amount of blood," Assef said as he pressed a cool wet cloth to my temple.

"I'm sure. Her aim isn't as good as yours or mine would have been." I wiped my nose on the back of my hand. I hopped down from the table. "I'm going to get changed." I looked down at my filthy dress.

"I'll get Hamilra to wash your dress," Assef said, referring to our Hazara servant. "And don't worry, I'll make sure she doesn't tell Mother and Father about this."

I nodded and ran upstairs, changed into a blue striped pinafore with ribbon at the back. I re-adjusted my hair, beginning to feel quite murderous.

I reached under the bed and pulled out the present Assef had given me only hours earlier. I smiled. "Let's see how brave the little bitch is now," I said to myself. I smirked to myself as I skipped into the kitchen again.

"You're looking brighter," Assef noted.

I held the lighter out to him. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I asked, grinning widely.

He laughed and threw his arm around me. "Come on, then." We walked the twenty minutes to Adia's home. I found her sitting outside, absent mindedly playing with one of her dolls. I grabbed her by the arm roughly and began dragging her out the gate.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked frantically. I said nothing. She began to wriggle out of my grasp, but Assef grabbed her left arm and twisted it so it was against her back.

"Try that again and I'll break it," he threatened. We frogmarched her deep into the woods. Once I was sure we would not be seen, I let her go. She fell to her knees on the ground, and I pushed her forward so she lay flat in front of me.

"What do you want me to do with her?" Assef asked.

"Just hold her down so she can't move," I said. Adia began whimpering as Assef pinned her arms above her head. I knelt in front of her and lifted her top. I pulled out the lighter and flicked it on. She screamed and began thrashing. Her legs kicked at the dust futilely. I placed the lighter on her stomach, watched the flames burn her. Her eyes filled with tears. I did this for about five minutes.

"Alright, turn her over," I said. I began to do the same to her back. She was now full out sobbing from the pain! I began crying from laughter. Assef flipped her over, took out his brass knuckles and hit her in the stomach with them, right where I had burned her. She arched her back and let out a blood-curdling scream. It was music to my ears.

We left her there to bleed while we ran away. Later that night, I found out that my parents had organised fireworks for me. No mention was made of my dress, luckily. Masood came, and Adia too. She was pale, and looked like death warmed over. She's lucky I _didn't_ kill her. I could have, you know.

There's a fine line between human and animal. My brother and I just crossed that line.


	11. My brother's sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In chapter ten, Assef gives Saria a lighter for her birthday. She got the chance to use it on Adia when she had the audacity to bully her.. Now, the day of the Kite Tournament has arrived and Assef has a surprise for his baby sister..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter now enters the rape scene of the original novel so reader caution is advised....

I woke up shivering. Today was certainly going to be chilly. I got up and wandered over to the window. A thin layer of snow covered the ground outside, and you could barely see the family car. I giggled childishly. I did love snow. After all, so many people slipped and fell, broke bones. How thrilling was that? I placed my hands down on the windowsill and watched the flakes fall for a few moments. The brightness outside told me it must have been quite late in the morning. I had overslept. "Looks like it's going to be chilly today, Saria," I told myself. "Better wrap up warm, you don't want to catch a cold." I walked over to my wardrobe and perused through my dresses.

My mother would have a fit if I got a cold. I pulled out a white long-sleeved dress and a matching blue shirt to go underneath it. I smiled to myself. Held the items of clothing up to me. "Won't you look adorable?" I giggled. It didn't take me long to get changed and I tied a pink ribbon to the side of my freshly washed blonde curls. A picture of innocence as always. I emerged from my room and walked down the hall. The sounds of my parent's pointless banter filled my ears as I walked towards the kitchen. From my view, I could see them chatting over a cup of black tea and my brother sitting on a stool, chin in his hand, looking extremely bored. I made sure to keep a perpetual smile on my face as I walked inside.

"Good morning," I said, beaming as I bowed my knees and extended the hem of my dress. Mama's simpering smile was comical as usual. She embraced me tightly.

"And good morning to you too, my little sugar lump," she cooed.

Papa ruffled my hair, grinning like the Cheshire cat. "How's my little pumpkin today, hmm?" he asked.

"Fine, Papa." I made sure to be polite. After untangling myself from my mother's embrace, I went over to my brother and climbed onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on the forehead. I beamed up at him, giggled.

"You're very chipper this morning, kiddo," Assef commented.

"Of course I am. It's such a beautiful day outside. I mean, look at all that _snow_!" I emphasized.

"And the kite fighting tournament is today," Papa announced as I reached across the table to grab a slice of naan bread. I lay my head against Assef's chest as I chewed. He played absent-mindedly with one of my many curls.

"Yes, Papa. I can't wait! It's going to be so much fun! God knows I need a bit of fun before I return to school." I joked. Mama and Papa laughed, as they always too. Not even my own parents could resist my charm.

"I would have taken you, Saria-jan but unfortunately I have to work today." Papa sounded rightly pissed off. Not that it bothered me in the slightest. He could fuck off for all I cared.

"That's a pity." I forced myself to sound sincere. Obviously, I could give two flying fucks about my father's predicament.

"It is, jan. I was hoping we could spend a father-daughter day together. No matter. I guess we'll do it some other time. After all, those planes don't fly themselves." I forced a chuckle.

"I'll take her," Assef said. "We'll have fun, won't we, Saria?"

"Oh, you bet we will!" We shared a knowing look. I didn't even have to feign excitement. The kite fighting tournament was easily the highlight of the entire winter for me. So many chances for me to cause trouble!

I was rudely grabbed by my bitch of a mother. She pulled me down with such vigour that I whacked my elbow off the table. I winced in pain. She pressed me up against her chest, stroked my hair with long nails. My face was squished up against the fabric of her flowing dress. She kissed my forehead. 'Imagine Saria, if only she knew she had a torturer and murderer in her arms right now!' I stifled a giggle.

Mama kissed my cheek. "You'll squash your poor brother, my big girl!" she quipped. This stung. 'Bitch could do with putting on a bit of weight herself, she's like a stick insect,' I thought angrily. I may be a sociopath but comments like that about my weight still hurt. I'm still female, you know. Mama released me and kissed my face repeatedly.

"Look at you, gorgeous, you're just as cute as a _button,_ " she gushed. Wow, she's changed her tune, hasn't she? I smiled demurely and walked back to my brother. He held out his arms and lifted me onto his lap again.

"You're not fat, Sar. Don't listen to that bitch," he whispered in my ear. I giggled and rested my head against his chest.

"It always amazes me how close the pair of you are," Papa mused. I looked up at Assef and smiled.

"You don't know how many people would kill for a brother like you," I told him.

"And how many people would kill for a sister like you." I giggled into my palm. Mama and Papa looked at us, smiling, not understanding the sincerity of Assef's words. Both of us knew we would go to the ends of the earth for each other. I took a glance at the clock. 11:15 AM, it read.

The kite fighting tournament wasn't going to start until at least 2:00. Patience was certainly a virtue I would struggle with today, as usual. Assef fiddled with one of the buttons on my dress. He bounced his legs up and down while I giggled. I would certainly pass for much younger than twelve to anyone who saw me. 'Good girl, Saria. Play it up for them.' I told myself. "Them" of course being my parents. My mother especially.

She just couldn't get over how adorably I was behaving today. "Why don't you and your brother go play outside while you're waiting for the tournament to begin?" Papa suggested. I nodded and leapt from Assef's knee. I began to dart for the door.

"Make sure you both wear jackets!" Mama ordered. "Saria, your duffle coat should be in your wardrobe. You know, the blue one?" How many fucking duffle coats do I have? I thought to myself.

"Yes, Mama. I'll go right up and get it." I skipped out the door, feeling an utter fool. Stopped. Turned back. "Assef, I'll meet you outside!" I called. Once I was sure I could not be seen, my face darkened, allowing my true self to emerge. I stormed up to my bedroom and closed the door quietly behind me.

I knelt down and lifted the cover of my bed. There they were. My most prized possessions. The bag containing the weapon I had murdered Zainab with, and the lighter Assef had bought me for my birthday. I smiled as I stared at the bloodied knife. Of course I would have to dispose of it soon. There was a Hazara man who lived just a few blocks down from us. He was a servant, as they all are. Jamil, his name was. He had a reputation for being a bit... rough, shall we say? He used to chase children away from his masters garden.

Of course, nobody would think it suspicious for this man to have killed Zainab. The authorities had exhausted themselves with the search for her killer, but they were ruthless. They would not stop until whoever did this paid. I would not go down though. I promised myself this every night. After all, who would people believe? The Hazara servant or the pretty young child from the big house with the palm trees? Who would you believe, if you did not know me? I can be _very_ persuasive when I put my mind to it. I quietly returned my precious belongings to their hiding spot.

"Right, let's see, where's that fucking coat?" I mused as I sorted through an array of dresses, tops and jackets. I finally found what I was looking for. A blue duffle coat with matching gloves. I slipped it on and buttoned it up. I just could not _wait_ for the tournament to begin. I ran downstairs to where Assef waited for me out the back. He held out his arms and I ran into them. For two sociopaths, it was amazing how gentle we were with each other. Assef spun me around while I laughed in utter delight.

"You looking forward to today, kiddo?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, it's going to be so much fun! I just can't wait!" I emphasized.

Assef laughed. "And I have a surprise of my own for you, sport." I was filled to the brim with excitement. I jumped up and down, my hands over my mouth.

"What is it? What is it? Tell me!"

Assef grinned. "No, not now. Later. After the tournament. If all goes well this will be the best day we've had in a long time."

"I hate being kept in the dark, Assef! I want to know _now_!"

He laughed at my enthusiasm. "You just have to be patient, dear." I could see my parents watching the two of us. Bending down, I picked up a snowball and flung it at my brother.

"Oh, you're going to regret that," he said through laughter and began to chase me. I shrieked in "terror" and ran from him. I crouched down behind one of the palm trees, waiting for the right moment to "attack" 'He's never going to see this coming.' I thought. Suddenly my vision turned black. I screamed in terror. "Having fun?" Assef whispered in my ear.

"You scared me!" I shrieked. "How did you know I was here?"

"You forget this was my favorite hiding spot when I was your age. I used to ambush Wali and Kamal all the time." He gently shoved me onto my back and pinned my arms by my sides.

"Now, I told you I'd get you for your little escapades there!" I began laughing incoherently as Assef dug his fingers into my ribs.

"Ahhh! NOOOOOOOOOOO! Assef! Stohohohoop!" I giggled through my tears. Assef was relentless though, and I could not get away. "Stop! Stop! I'm sorry!" I screamed. Anyone who knows me knows how ticklish my ribs are. "I give! Stohohohohohhop!" I was getting out of breath.

Assef could see this and released me. I lay panting on the ground underneath him. "You okay?" He instantly switched to concerned older brother mode.

I nodded. "You.. are.. a... nutter."

He held me at arms length. Tickled me again. "What was that?"

I giggled, twisting under his hands like a fish caught on a hook. "Ahh! Nothing! Nothing!"

Assef smiled. "Thought so." He got up and extended a gloved hand to me. "Come on. Let's get you some lunch, eh?" We walked back into the house.

"You two have fun?" Mama asked as she served a piping bowl of lentil soup.

"Yes, we did." I beamed at her. I could eat my mother's lentil soup all day. This was the stuff of heaven. Assef sat beside me. My mind whirred as I thought of the surprise he had waiting. Whatever could it be?

My teeth clacked against the spoon. A bad habit of mine my mother was desperate to stamp out. Alas, she didn't seem all that bothered today. I wondered what could have gotten her in such a good mood. Papa was getting ready to leave for work. He came over to me and kissed my forehead. "Bye, my little sugarpie." He said. I beamed up at him.

"Have a good day at work, Papa."

"Oh, I doubt that!" We shared a laugh. "Look after your sister, sport." He ruffled Assef's hair. Assef tensed. A tell-tale sign that he was getting cheesed off.

"You go to work now, Father. I'm sure your boss won't be too pleased if you're late." Papa nodded obediently, kissed Mama with a passion I did _not_ need to witness while eating lunch, and left. The minutes ticked by as I ate my soup. Patience was not one of my strong points. I could feel the beginnings of a tantrum already. I felt like a child on Christmas morning, when it's too early to get up. You know the feeling? It's wonderful and horrible all at the same time, right? Eventually, Mama took my empty bowl over to the sink.

"Good girl Saria, eating all your lunch," she complimented. "A pity Assef wouldn't do the same." Assef regarded her coldly, tossed the half filled bowl into the sink with such force that it cracked.

"Oh dear, you'll have to buy another one," he joked. Mama looked as though she want to say something, but wisely decided against it. "Right then, kiddo! Let's go!" Assef took my hand.

"Oh really? Is it time already?" I was a ball of energy.

"Yep. Come on. We'll meet Wali and Kamal on the way." I began to bounce up and down in excitement. These were not forced emotions on my part.

"Yes! Yes! I've waited all winter for this!" We walked out the front gate. I was still bouncing. After walking for about ten minutes, we finally met up with Wali and Kamal. I gave them each a hug.

"Someone's excited!" Wali mused. I was skipping around in front of them in as we walked. My brother conversed with his friends about who knows what.

"Never seen a kid get so wound up," Kamal chortled. I turned back to face them.

"Assef has a surprise for me, but he won't say what. Do any of you know what it could be?" They both shook their heads.

"He mentioned something but our lips are sealed," Wali told me.

"OHHHHHHHH I hate waiting!"

"This will be worth the wait, kiddo, I promise," Assef ruffled my hair. My beloved Amir would be in the tournament today. Hassan, the little bitch, would be his kite runner. Word on the street was that he was the best kite runner in the entire district. We would see.

I hoped Amir would win. I would be rooting for him. We walked through a throng of excited children. I spotted Adia sitting with Masood. They were deep in conversation. I bounded over and flung my arms around the shocked ten year old. "How are you?" I was too happy to even consider beating her up. She should be thankful for that fact.

"It's lovely to see you again, Saria," Masood beamed. "Don't you look pretty today?" I giggled.

Assef placed a hand on my shoulder. "Come on, you can see your friends any day." He seemed quite protective of me today.

"It was nice seeing you, Masood jan."

"And you too." I could hear the stutter in Masood's voice. He was surely feeling quite nervous. He was right to be. We left them to sit and talk.

"Freaks!" I chortled into my palm. Assef laughed and squeezed me tight. Nothing could ruin my good mood today. We found a log and sat down. Children breezed past us, filled to the brim with excitement. I could hear parents hollering on the roof. Looking up, I spotted Amir's father, Yusef. I don't think he saw me. He was as excited as I was to watch his boy compete.

I kept an eye out for Amir. He looked rather nervous. Poor little thing. I hoped he would be successful. Hassan held the spool as Amir unwound the kite. I felt deep detestation as I watched the Hazara. I clasped my hands and leaned down on my chin. "Come on, come on." Assef sat with one arm around my shoulder. Wali and Kamal were both quiet as usual.

Beautiful kites littered the sky. I watched them fly with awe. I was as amazed as any other girl my age would be. One by one, the kites were being cut. I imagined them to be my victims, falling one by one. Amir seemed to be hanging in there. "Come on, my love!" I urged. I blew a kiss in his direction.

Omar seemed to be winning. He was a boy of about fourteen who lived a few blocks down from me. His skills at kite fighting were legendary, much like my temper. I clapped my hands together in anticipation as the next kite fell. "You enjoying yourself?" Wali asked. I nodded, beaming. The crowd roared as Omar cut another kite. So many kites had already been cut.

"Come on! Come on!" I screamed, jumping up. I pumped my fists.

"What an adorable little girl," remarked a woman sitting at a table a few steps away from us.

"That's Saria Ahmed, Mahmood and Tanya's girl," her friend informed her. "She's a pet." I hunched forward in anticipation.

"Boboresh! Boboresh!" The crowd roared. We were now down to the last two kites. Omar and Amir. Both battled for dominance over the other. I closed my eyes as I heard the unmistakable sound of a kite being cut. And then Omar's blue kite spun through the air, lost.

"YES! YES! YESSSSSS!" I roared in utter excitement. I jumped up and down. "Fucking brilliant! Get in there!" Assef laughed at my enthusiasm. Amir and Hassan embraced, bouncing up and down. Tears filled my eyes. This was pure elation on my part. "FUCK YEAH, AMIR!" I cheered. Assef ruffled my hair.

"Happy now, sport?" I nodded. Hassan had now run off to fetch the downed kite. Assef was instantly on his feet.

"Come on, kiddo."

"What?" I asked.

"I told you I had a surprise, didn't I?" I was now filled top to toe with utter excitement.

"Really? Where is it? Where is it?"

Assef smiled down at me. "Come on." We began to run. I had no clue as to where he was taking me. My heart beat in my chest like a hammer against cloth. Wali and Kamal followed close behind. Night was beginning to fall. The tournament must have lasted longer than I thought.

Assef walked with a determination in his step that I had never seen before. We walked down a deserted alleyway. "Assef, what are we doing here?" I asked.

"It's your surprise, kiddo. Look." I peered down the alley. Hassan was backed into a corner. He held the blue kite in one hand. I clapped my hands delightedly.

"Assef, is this? Oh wonderful!" he beamed and walked further into the alley, trapping the Hazara.

Assef lifted me onto a nearby staircase. I dangled my legs, swinging them back and forth. Assef folded his arms and stared at the young boy in front of him.

"Where's your slingshot, Hazara?" he asked teasingly. "What was it you said? They'll have to call you One-Eyed Assef. That's right. One-Eyed Assef. That was clever. Really clever. Then again, it's easy to be clever when you're holding a loaded weapon." I sniggered into my palm. Assef continued. "But today is your lucky day, Hazara. I'm in a mood to forgive. What do you say to that, boys?"

"That's generous," said Kamal. His voice shook. "Especially after the rude manners he showed us last time."

"Bakhshida. Forgiven. It's done. Of course, nothing is free in this world, and my pardon comes with a small price."

"That's fair," said Kamal.

"Nothing is free," Wali added. I was filled with excitement and anticipation. This beat the tournament hands down.

"You're a lucky Hazara." My brother stepped towards Hassan, reached out a hand. "Because today, it's only going to cost you that blue kite. A fair deal, boys, isn t it?"

"More than fair," Kamal said.

Hassan, being the stupid cunt he is, shook his head. "Amir agha won the tournament and I ran this kite for him. I ran it fairly. This is his."

"A loyal Hazara. Loyal as a dog," Assef said. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips.

Assef smiled over at me. "But before you sacrifice yourself for him, think about this: Would he do the same for you? Have you ever wondered why he never includes you in games when he has guests? Why he only plays with you when no one else is around? I'll tell you why, Hazara. Because to him, you're nothing but an ugly pet. Something he can play with when he's bored, something he can kick when he's angry. Don't ever fool yourself and think you're something more."

"Amir agha and I are friends." Hassan looked flushed. This was turning out to be a great day for me.

"Friends?" Assef sniggered. "You pathetic fool. Now, bas. Enough of this. Give us that kite." Hassan bent down and picked up a rock. Assef took a step back. Stopped. "Last chance, Hazara." Hassan cocked the rock up higher. "As you wish." Assef unbuttoned his jacket. Folded it carefully. Walked over to me.

"Saria, will you hold this for me, please?" He had that crazed look in his eyes he often gets when he's going to punish someone. I grinned at him.

"It would be my pleasure." I held the folded jacket in my arms.

Assef kissed my forehead. "Good girl."

"I've changed my mind," Assef said to Hassan. "I'm letting you keep the kite, Hazara. I'll let you keep it so it will always remind you of what I'm about to do." Then he threw himself on Hassan.

Hassan released the rock. It struck my brother on the forehead. Soon, the Hazara bitch was pinned down on the floor. Assef tore off his pants. Tossed them aside.

It was then I realized exactly what my brother had in mind. I hunched forward, waiting. Wali's eyes locked on mine.

"I don't think Saria should watch." His voice was shaken. Assef pressed his foot down harder onto Hassan's neck. The Hazara boy's answering hiss of pain echoed throughout the alleyway. I couldn't stop the giggle that escaped my lips. Wali gaped at me. "She shouldn't be allowed to watch."

"She can stay if she wants to. That's her right," Assef said. He looked over at me. "You want to stay, don't you, kiddo?" he asked. I nodded through my hysteria.

"Yes," I managed to splutter out.

Assef grinned. "Alright then. That's settled. She stays. Now, let's have some fun."

"I don't know," Wali muttered. My father says it's sinful."

"Your father won't find out," Assef said. "And there's nothing sinful about teaching a lesson to a disrespectful donkey." I sniggered. This was the best day _ever_!

"I don't know, Wali's voice shook.

"Suit yourself," Assef said. He turned to Kamal. "What about you?"

"I... well..."

"It s just a Hazara," Assef said. But Kamal kept looking away

"Fine," Assef snapped. All I want you weaklings to do is hold him down. Can you manage that?" They both nodded, relieved. Assef and I locked eyes for a moment. Tears of pure joy streamed down my face.

Hassan was going to get _exactly_ what he deserved. Assef unbuttoned his trousers. Dropped his underwear. The reality of what was going to happen finally hit me.

My brother was going to rape someone. Of course, he had done this before, but I had never witnessed it. I suddenly realized how messed up we both were. Him to do such a thing, and me to watch with such joy. 'It's only a Hazara.' I thought to myself. Hassan deserved this pain. This humiliation. Assef thrusted back and forth. Grunted. Hassan didn't even whimper. This angered me. Why wasn't he screaming in pain? Begging for mercy? I scowled at him. He seemed... defeated, if that's the right word. Like he knew he couldn't escape.

I don't know how long the rape lasted. Eventually Assef straightened up, pulled up his pants. I handed him his jacket and he lifted me up. Placed me down on the ground. Hassan lay panting underneath us. I kicked him hard in the stomach. "Tell anyone about this and you're dead." I warned. He knew well enough to heed my warnings. We ran from the alley. I stumbled over my own feet. I could barely concentrate.

We stopped running near to Wali's house. Wali and Kamal both left us, shaken. We knew they would not tell. They were smart boys.

"Was that a nice surprise, sweetheart?" Assef asked. I flung my arms around him. Words could not describe the pure joy I felt.

"T-thank you. I've waited so long for him to get what he deserved." I was now sobbing from happiness. Assef stroked my hair. The love I felt for my brother in this moment was unbelievably strong.

"I'm glad you're happy, kiddo."

I nodded through my tears. "I'm happy, Assef. I'm so very happy." I began to hiccup. Giggles escaped my lips as I thought about Hassan. The pain he must be feeling right now. All for a fucking kite. The little bitch is too loyal for his own good.

Assef slung an arm around my shoulder. "Come on then," he chuckled. "Let's get you a glass of water to try and stop those hiccups." He squeezed me tight. Kissed my head. We walked home together, his arm around my shoulder. I could barely speak I was so filled with happiness.

This had been the best day of my life. No doubt about it.


	12. A Hero's Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria was thriled to watch Assef rape Hassan. Neither herself nor her brother showed any remorse for the cruel act they participated in, now, we find her about to spend the day with Adia and Masood...

"Fucking buttons! Tie, why won't you?" I swore. My hands fumbled with the tiny buttons of my collar. Today, I wore a blue pinafore that reached my knees, with a white shirt under it. "Goddamn it!" I moaned, stamping my feet in frustration. Two full days had passed since the tournament. I still got that feeling of euphoria in me whenever I thought about it. Hassan must have been suffering big time right now. Well, it was his own fault. All he needed to do was to give us that kite.

He could have walked away unharmed. Sure, his pride may have been hurt, but I'd take my pride being hurt over getting raped any day, wouldn't you? He's just too damn loyal. Little Hazara bitch. Assef's right. Amir doesn't give two flying fucks about Hassan. He plays with him because he _has_ to, not because he _wants_ to! Hassan gave up everything for a boy who doesn't even appreciate his hard work. Still, I do love Amir. He and I would be perfect together, nay? I believe we would. I can just imagine it. Us living in a beautiful home, our two children playing happily at our feet as we sit on the couch and reminisce over how we met. All those years ago.

I'd walk down the aisle in a beautiful dress, he'd kiss my henna painted hands and tell me I was beautiful. We'd have a son and daughter. Of course, I would have to name the son after my brother. My favorite person in the world. I'd call my daughter Alainda. Such a pretty name. I'd teach her all the things Assef's taught me. Like how to ambush people. How to get that perfect right hook. She'd be Mommy's little trouble-maker.

Oh dear, I'm day-dreaming again, aren't I? I do that sometimes. It's a bad habit of mine. Of course, I have a lot of bad habits, don't I? Finally, I managed to tie my buttons. I straightened my pinafore and ran a comb through my bedraggled hair. Today, unfortunately, I had another play-date with Adia. My parents were relentless in getting us two to spend more time together. I would rather be at home with my brother, but noooo! Stupid twats _had_ to arrange a "special day for two special girls," my father's own words.

Mama and Papa were both going away for the night. They didn't get much chance to go on holidays or romantic breaks. I would spend the entire day with Adia, and Assef would then collect me. He'd be looking after me for the night. As you can probably tell, I was in no mood for any shit. If Adia or any of her pathetic family fucked around with me tonight then they would pay the price for it. And a very high price that would be.

I stole one last glance at myself in the mirror. "Come on now, Saria. Chin up, there's a good girl. Remember, there's a knife in the drawer with your name on it." I wasn't above bringing a weapon with me in my rucksack. As I said before, I was not in a mood to be fucked with today. If there had to be another Zainab, then so be it. "Saria, come on, babycakes!" Mama called impatiently. "We've got to go!" 'Shut the fuck up, _bitch!_ ' I thought to myself.

"I'll be right down, Mama," I called politely. Shutting the door behind me, I stepped into the hall. Mama and Papa waited for me at the bottom of the stairs. I skipped down, feeling an utter fool. Still, what choice did I have?

"Are you all set?" Papa asked.

"One moment, Papa. I need something from the kitchen." I skipped off again, humming to myself.

"Morning, kiddo," Assef smiled at me. I bounded over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Morning. Sorry I can't talk." I went to where we kept our knives and pulled out a huge bread knife. Perfect for stabbing someone should they get on my nerves. I beamed at my reflection in the steel. "Now, that should smooth things over if Adia tries to fuck with me." I placed the knife in my rucksack, grabbed an apple. "I'll see you later, Assef!" I spoke in a sugary sweet voice, just loud enough for my parents to hear.

Assef came over and embraced me tightly. "You be careful with that thing, kiddo," he whispered in my ear.

"Oh, I will. It's not _me_ you need to worry about." With that, I once again skipped over to my parents.

"Is our little princess excited for her play-date?" Papa asked. I swear, it felt like I was three and not twelve.

"Oh, yes, definitely Papa!" I bounced up and down in false excitement. "And I bet you and Mama are excited for your romantic night!" I giggled.

"Why yes, we certainly are!" Mama cooed gently. She brushed my hair from my face. "You need a haircut, my precious one. Else you won't be able to see. We can't have you knocking into things." She teased.

"Oh, I can see just fine, Mama." I grabbed her hand. I wanted this day to be over and done with.

"Someone's excited," Papa mused.

"I just can't wait to see Adia again!" I clambered into the backseat of the car and did up my seat belt. "I've really missed playing with her!"

I held my rucksack tightly against my chest. The knife was still tucked safely inside. I would be careful not to let anyone see it. I had to be. Papa hummed quietly to himself as he drove the car the ten minutes to Adia's house.

As we pulled into the drive, I could see the little bitch watching me from the window. I waved maliciously at her. Even from down here I could see the fear in her eyes. Mama opened the car door for me.

"Thank you." I hopped out. Adia ran out the front door to greet me.

"Hello, Saria." She hung back, shy. Terrified of her "best friend." I, however, had an audience to entertain.

"HELLO ADIA!" I screamed, rushing to gather her into my arms. I swung her around, laughing. Grabbed her hands. Bounced. "It's so _wonderful_ to see you again!" I was really hamming it up now. "THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR HAVING ME! I'd be bored _stiff_ at home!" Not true at all. I would rather be home than here. Adia gaped at me, shocked.

"Oh i it's no problem, Saria. We love having you," she stuttered. I continued to bounce like a fucking idiot.

"You'll be tired out before noon, Adia," Papa noted. "Our girl's quite the handful, aren't you, babes?" he teased. I danced around, laughing excitedly.

"We're going to have so much _fun!_ " I giggled. Mama placed a hand on my back.

"Alright, baby. Go on inside. Assef will be over at around eight to pick you up. Have fun."

"We will! We will!" I feigned elation as I watched them leave. Once they were gone, I could allow my true self to emerge. I grabbed Adia, held her tight. "I'm really not in the mood for any of your shit today, do you hear me?" I whispered into her ear. "You fuck around just _once_ Adia. Just _once_! I'll bet you won't like what will happen." Her eyes travelled to her stomach. Where I had burned her on my birthday only a few days earlier.

"Good girl. I see you remember. You're a smart kid for heeding my warnings. Aren't you?"

I saw Masood watching us. "Remember who's in charge, you pathetic whore," I whispered into her ear. She smiled forcefully and nodded once. I released her and made my way over to Masood. His hideous features still unnerved me after all this.

Still, I had a part to play. This world was my stage and I the star. My arms wound themselves around his waist. "Hello, Masood!" I spoke in a light voice.

"Hello, darling. You're looking especially pretty today." He was full of compliments.

I beamed. "Oh _thank you_ , Masood!" I bowed my knees and extended the hem of my dress. We walked inside. "Would you like me to take your rucksack for you, Saria?" Masood asked. I shook my head. For obvious reasons I knew I could not allow myself to part with it.

"I'll just hang on to it," I told him.

"Are you sure, kiddo?" Masood seemed concerned.

I nodded. I decided to speak a bit of German to him. "Ich bin mir sicher. Got zu halten das Messer versteckt. Ihre Schwester besser aufpassen Rücken, wenn sie nicht wollen, um am Ende ermordet. Und Assef ist der einzige, ich lasse rufen Sie mich an, dass." This meant "I'm sure. Got to keep this knife hidden. Your sister better watch her back if she doesn't want to end up murdered. And Assef's the only one I let call me that."

Of course, he had no clue what I just threatened. "What was that, dear one?"

"I thanked you for having me, in German," I lied on the spot for the vile teenager. "Assef'll be over to pick me up at eight." These words brought great comfort to me. I wanted to be with my brother more than anyone.

Masood ruffled my hair. "We love having you to play, don't we, Adia?"

The little twit nodded. "Yeah you're my best friend _ever_!" she emphasized.

"I was thinking of taking you girls for a picnic by Ghargha Lake. We could bring bread to feed the ducks. What do you girls say to that?" Masood seemed quite excited.

"Oh now that sounds so _wonderful_!" I exclaimed. My mind was instantly filled with thoughts of all the "accidents" that could befall Adia should she piss me off. Or even Masood. Neither of them wanted to get on the wrong side of me today. One slip up and it could all be over for them. If I needed to become a two-time killer than so be it. Did I give two shits about these people?

"Well, why don't you two go up and play in Adia's room. Huh? Go on." He ushered us off. On our way up, we were greeted by Faraya, Adia's mother. She and I had never really spoke. I was determined to keep it that way. There was something about that woman that made me despise her even more than the rest of her family. I could never quite pinpoint what. She beamed at me as we passed by her.

"Hello, little Saria." I bowed my knees once more. Truly, I felt a fucking fool for behaving this way.

"Hello, Khala Faraya." As usual, I stroked her ego. "Thank you for having me in your home."

"You're more than welcome, dear child. Adia's missed you so much. Haven't you, daughter?"

"Yes. Yes I have!" the little bitch gushed. I placed a hand on her back. "We're going to have so much fun today!" False delight on my part.

"Come on, let's go and play with your dolls!" All the things a child my age would say. We walked into Adia's room. She shut the door behind her.

"Sit down," I ordered. Ordered being the operative word. She truly was a slave to my whims. Adia instantly obeyed. "I see you're covered up quite well there." I poked her stomach. She hissed in pain. "Aww, does it still hurt?" I poked her again, laughing at my little "game." "Does it hurt?" I kept poking her. She began to shrink in on herself, like a tortoise in its shell. "I asked you a question, kunis! Does. it. _Hurt_!"

With this, I jabbed my nail deep into the wound I had given her. She let out a terrified shriek. "Fuck bitch, be quiet!" I hissed, pressing a hand over her mouth.

"Yes, it hurts! It really hurts!" she began to whimper. I reached into my bag and pulled out the large knife. I teased her with it threateningly. "Look what I've got!"

She shook her head. "No, Saria! I want to live!"

"Do you now?" She nodded. I leaned in close, one mittened hand on her mouth. Her eyes searched mine. Finally she asked the question I know must have plagued her for months.

"Did you kill Zainab?" It was easy enough to answer. I knew I had to be competely honest with her.

"Yes." She began struggling underneath me. "Yes, Adia. I murdered her. I did it." It felt good to tell her. This may have been reckless on my part, but I was going to make _sure_ she wouldn't tell on me. I placed the cool edge of the knife against her pretty tanned throat. "Dear Adia," I began to tease her. "If I could kill Zainab, what's stopping me from killing you?" She was terrified out of her wits.

"No, no!" she begged pathetically.

I tossed the knife aside. "Now you know everything. Who I truly am. What I am _truly_ capable of. If you dare to tell anyone about what you know, I can swear upon that girl's grave that you will find yourself in the same position she was in. Only this time... I'll make your death last _much_ longer!" Tears filled her pretty black eyes. I bent down close to her ear. "Can you keep my secret?"

"Yes. I promise I'll never tell." I knew she wouldn't either. A person would have to be an _d idiot_ to fuck around with Saria Ahmed. I felt relieved to have Adia know the true extent of what I was capable of. To know that her friend was truly a monster in the worst sense. I would not hesitate to do away with her if she even had the _thought_ of telling. She knew this too.

We were rudely interrupted by Masood. "Can I come in?" he asked.

"Of _course,_ Masood. Sure, you're half way through the door already!" I teased gently. This earned a chuckle from the teenager.

"Cheeky miss!" he mocked lightheartedly. "Well, I just came to tell you girls that I'm thinking of leaving for the picnic now."

"Wonderful!" Adia exclaimed.

"Oh most certainly wonderful!" I chortled. I noticed the knife on the bed. I quickly tossed one of Adia's dolls over it. 'Fucking hell, Saria. Be _careful_!' I chastised myself. To my audience I gave a simple smile and nod.

"Right. Now let's go and feed those hungry ducks!" Adia lept to her feet.

"I'll be down in one moment," I informed the pair of siblings. They both nodded and left me to my own devices. I replaced the knife back into the red rucksack I had brought with me. Adia had better watch her back lest she end up with it in her heart. My wicked side could not be controlled once unleashed. I gently closed the door behind me. Yet again I wore my blue duffel coat. I slipped my mittens into the pocket. Perfect for leaving untraceable weapons should the need for one arise. I walked down the stairs and out the front door with Adia and Masood.

Both seemed quite content in each other's company. In a way I guess Adia and I are not so different. All around us people went about their daily business. Nobody seemed any the wiser to the decrepit thoughts whirling around in my brain. I skipped childishly at Adia's side. Hamming it up for her freak of a brother. "I can't wait to feed the ducks!" I sang happily. What a fucking fool I could be sometimes. The walk to the lake was quite tiring. Eventually, we made it. Masood spread out a large picnic blanket. I sat down. Masood gestured towards the lake.

"The currents quite strong," he noted. "We'll have to be extra careful." Adia and I both nodded obediently. What, did he think I was; a fucking baby?

I lay on my back watching clouds. The day seemed to be drifting by without any problems. Just as I hoped. I didn't want the hassle of any bullshit. It seemed bullshit followed me around on a regular basis, and I was more than happy to get away from it. Speaking of bullshit, I spotted one of Zainab's friends watching me. I don't know this little brat's name. Don't care to either. She still seemed quite somber over the death of her friend. As anyone would be. The light had gone from her eyes. I leaned over and whispered in Adia's ear.

"That's one of Zainab's friends. Think she'd like a taste of my knife?" Of course, I was only teasing. I had no intention of going after this little girl. I could not do harm to her without raising suspicion to myself. Adia looked at me, shaken. I smirked, gestured to my rucksack.

"I..." she began. I knew she was about to beg me to spare this girl so I cut her off.

"Relax, I'm not stupid enough to do anything _here_ bitch!" My voice was low, ensuring we could not be heard. Masood was organizing the bread for the ducks. I patted Adia's head condesendingly, like a little dog. That's what she was to me. A dog. And I her master.

"Good girl. Behave now," I warned. She nodded obediently. Adia and I watched the rapid waters together. It felt quite soothing, actually. As though the water carried my worries with it.

I know it was probably reckless to tell Adia about Zainab. But she feared me above all else. Would she tell on me? Would you, knowing the things I am capable of? Nobody would be that dumb. Masood began chucking bread at the hungry ducks. They quacked in unison. I put my hands over my mouth and giggled. All very childish mannerisms. I had to make the most of my free time before I went back to school. After all, then it would just be homework and study. "All work no play" as the saying goes. With my perpetual smile on my face, I made my way over to Masood. "I want to try!" I sounded a right idiot. He beamed at me.

"Go on then. My arm's starting to get sore from all this throwing." I nodded politely and watched him sit down.

I leaned forward to feed the ducks. Of course had we been alone I'd have happily waded in and killed one of them. How many pets did I have that have had "accidents?" Were they really accidents. I kept leaning forward. In hindsight, it was a stupid thing to do. Suddenly, I fell right into the river. "FUCK!" I swore aloud, not caring who heard me. I was just about to climb out when the current swept me away. I screamed. I was being carried along helplessly. Was this the day I died? "Please no! I want to live!" I begged the heavens.

I felt like Zainab in this moment. Difference being, she deserved what she got, and more! I screamed as I began to float further out to sea. I'd end up in fucking Pakistan if I wasn't careful. "Save me!" I cried pathetically. I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me.

"Assef?" He was my first thought.

"No, honey, it's Masood." Adia's brother had jumped into the water to save me. He held me tightly against him as we continued to float down the river.

"I want Assef!" was all I could pathetically whimper. "I WANT MY BROTHER!"

"I know, baby. I know. Adia's gone to get help. She'll find him." I nodded. We continued to float. What other choice did we have? We had no choice. I began whimpering like a little baby. Truly I feared for my life. Masood's arms formed a protective cradle around me. "Saria," he said. "There's a rock over there. If we can grab onto it then I think we'll be okay. Hold my hand tight." I nodded. What else could I do? Masood began paddling towards the jagged rock. Then, without warning, the current got stronger. We were ripped apart. I screamed as I was sent tumbling under water.

Masood had cracked his head open on the rock. Blood trickled down his back. Before I could say or do anything, however, a gush of water hit me right in my face. I let out a silent scream. Clamped my hands over my mouth. I began to float down to the river bed. Masood of course was already unconcious. He must be dead, or close to it. I began sobbing. My vision was blurred. I couldn't breath. This was the end for Saria Ahmed. Twelve pathtetic years of life. My eyes rolled back into my head. Blackness.

Arms, pulling me up. Dragging me from the water. A child crying. People shouting, calling for help. We had certainly attracted a crowd. I kept my eyes shut. Could I open them? I wondered. I bordered on the edge of unconsciousness. Paramedics thumped my chest. I lay flat underneath them. I literally could not move.

"What happened?" I heard someone say. I recognized her as Zainab's friend. Even lying here I had an itch to murder the little brat.

"She fell in the water!" Adia's voice was frantic. "MASOOD! NOOO! NOOOOO!" She was screaming. He must be even worse than me. I could tune into the conversations around me.

"Please! NO!" Someone was shouting. It must have been Masood's parents.

"Is the little girl dead?" An elderly woman questioned bluntly.

"Everybody get the fuck out of my way! That's my _sister!_ " I could feel Assef's hand on mine. His voice sounded choked up. "Saria? Come on now, kiddo don't do this to me. I'm here. I'm right here. Honey please wake up." His voice made me realize how much I wanted to live! As the paramedic worked on me once more, I shot up, spluttering. I barely had time to register my surroundings before Assef pulled me into his arms, his voice choked with tears. I was shocked; Assef never cried. Never.

"Oh thank you God! Thank you!" He held me tight, kissed me repeatedly. "You scared me half to death, Saria! Fucking hell, what _happened_?"

"I fell in the river," I said timidly.

"Oh I can see that. Don't ever do that to me again! Why the hell would you be so damn _stupid_!"

I began to cry in earnest. "I'm sorry Assef. I'm _sorry!_ " I moaned.

Assef hugged me to him. "Oh no, honey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Shh, you're not stupid. I just... you were... you didn't move and I thought..." He kissed my forehead. "You have no idea how much you mean to me." I continued hiccuping. "Shh now, kiddo. Assef's here. I've got you. I won't let anything happen to you."

I twisted my head to look at Masood. They were still working on him. Adia was kneeling by his side. Sobbing.

"MASOOD PLEASE! PLEASE BROTHER!" She cried over and over again. She looked at me. Walked over to us. "He could be _dying!_ " she wailed uncontrollably. She fell to her knees and began pounding the ground with her fists. Assef seemed at a loss for what to do.

"He's probably not going to die, Adia," he tried to soothe her. Anything to stop this dumbass display.

"Yes he might!" She was truly in despondency right about now. Assef rolled his eyes. Adia caught this display. "HE SAVED HER LIFE!" she roared angrily. "HE SAVED YOUR SISTER'S LIFE! YOU SHOULD BE FUCKING GRATEFUL!" She gave Assef a forceful shove. We both almost over balanced.

Assef hissed. "You are lucky, Adia, that my baby sister means more to me than taking revenge on you. Otherwise you'd be in the same position as your fag of a brother. You do that again, though, and I swear on everything I have that you'll regret it. We clear?" I watched her scurry off. Kneel by her brother once more.

"How long was I out for?" I asked in a small voice.

"About two minutes more than my nerves can handle," Assef informed me.

"Little girl?" It was one of the paramedics.

"Yes?" I spoke quietly.

"We need you to come to the hospital with us."

"Why?" Assef asked, worried. "She's fine! There's _nothing_ wrong with her!" He held me tighter, as if terrified the man would grab me away. It was quite funny to see a rapist behave like such a mother hen with me.

"Just some routine tests," the paramedic put his hand on my shoulder. He guided me into a sitting position and helped me to stand.

I nodded. "I understand."

"Your parents have been called." It was then I noticed Faraya and Javid with Masood. Both sobbing. He was being loaded into a stretcher. "Can you walk?" the paramedic asked.

I nodded. "I'll manage." I stumbled towards the ambulance. We piled in. Adia's sobs grew louder and louder. They drowned out even the siren.

"ALLAH, SAVE OUR SON!" screamed Faraya.

We sat in the hospital waiting room. I perched right on Assef's knee. I rested my head against his chest. "You need to stop getting into such trouble, Miss Ahmed." Instantly I recognized the nurse from my beating from Zainab. Mama and Papa raced through the doors. Gathered me into their arms and kissed my face repeatedly.

"Oh God! Oh Saria!" Both were crying. Like I gave two shits. I reached for Assef again. He was the only one I wanted. He cradled me on his lap. I sobbed. Nobody could do anything to soothe me. I thought about Masood. He had risked his own life for me. One good deed does not out do the bad in my eyes however and I was still feeling annoyed with him for being such a tit.

We stayed in the hospital until all hours. Eventually,we were discharged. "Nothing wrong with you, Miss Ahmed." The friendly nurse seemed content. "Plenty of rest. That's all you need."

"I think a nice hot bath and some hot cocoa would be nice, don't you?" Mama quipped. "That would hit the spot right about now, huh, princess?" I lay my head against Assef's chest. He kissed my hair.

"Love you," I spoke childishly.

"I love you too," he replied.

I heard doctors speak about Masood. Words like "hanging in there" and "not going to survive the night" ruminated through the air. Adia was still sobbing. Once again I had come out the victor.

Would Masood live or die? Like I gave a fuck! His family may soon be going to his funeral. 

Only time would tell. Time was all they had.


	13. Loss and Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria almost drowned in Gharga Lake but Masood was quick to jump into the lake to save her. She showed no guilt when she learned that he may die due to his injuries. We continue with the next day as her family waits vigil in the hospital..

"Goddamn it, I hate hospitals!" I thought to myself. I swung my legs back and forth childishly. The collar of my cream dress itched against my neck. I hated the fucking thing but it was the only item of clothing I could find on such short notice. I watched the busy doctors and nurses pass by, none of them paying us any mind. The old clock on the wall behind me ticked on and on. Getting up on my knees, I craned my neck to look up at it. 9:30 am.

How long would it fucking take? "Sit down, Saria," Papa demanded sternly. I had to fight to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

"Sorry, Papa. I just wanted to know what the time was," I told him somberly. From my side, I heard Mama sniffling loudly. Dumb bimbo.

Assef drummed his fingers against the edge of the chair impatiently. Doctors ran past us with another stretcher, their faces awash with sweat. Obviously, whoever this was, they were in serious danger. Not that I truly gave a fuck. You can probably guess the reason why my family and myself were keeping vigil here. Masood. Doctors were still working on him. He had ingested a lot of water, and on top of that, they feared he may have brain damage from the bump to his cranium.

I honestly didn't care whether he lived or died. What was his life worth to me? Sure, he may have saved _my_ life, but did that honestly matter? Was I supposed to _respect_ the little tit all because he had decided to be a hero. That's the right word, isn't it? Decided. It's not _my_ fault he's in here! He didn't have to jump into the water after me. Stupid idiot. If he dies then the blame should be placed solely on his shoulders. Adia sat beside me, sniffling. Her parents were badgering another doctor for information. Why I had to be here at all was beyond me. It's not like I could do anything to help.

I wasn't a fucking doctor, although, some might say I was quite handy with a knife, though, not in the way that people would want. I very nearly smiled at this thought, but then remembered where I was and why I was here. There was a role for me to undertake, and I had to fulfill it to the best of my ability. Now, I may not have given two shits about Masood, but I at least had to feign concern. Reaching out, I placed a hand atop Adia's knee. She stiffened but continued to whimper.

"He'll be okay," I said reassuringly. "I promise." A very childish assumption on my part, but that is what I was being perceived as. A child. Poor innocent Saria, so concerned with the suffering of her "best friend." If only they knew. If only they fucking knew! Do I need to mention all the things I've already _done_ to Adia? Lying was a piece of cake for me!

Adia wiped her nose on the back of her hand, continuing to cry. She was drowning out the other sounds in the hospital. I rubbed her leg, trying to soothe her. Anything to make her shut up! "You mustn't cry," I chastised her gently. "He'll be fine. You'll see. Doctors will make him good as new." She looked at me. Cocked her head to the side.

"Are you sure, Saria?" she asked timidly. Ironically, in this moment, I was all she had. Her tormentor was her one source of comfort.

I nodded. "Hey, aren't you the one who said your brother is a survivor?" I quipped, remembering my first eventful meeting with Adia.

She nodded. "I sure hope that's true," she replied. I don't give a shit either way! I thought to myself. Noticing my parents ogling me as per usual, I leaned over and gave the somber ten-year-old a kiss on the cheek.

She seemed surprised by my nurturing actions but didn't say anything against me. Wise move on her part. I continued to hold her hand tightly, whispering soothing words every so often. Anyone watching would have believed I truly cared for the girl. HA! Nothing could be farther from the truth. When I think on it now, I was quite lucky that I myself was not more seriously injured. What if it had been _me_ that cracked my skull open on that rock? What if I was the one lying in that room fighting for my life! Such depressing what-ifs did not even bear thinking about! I glanced about the room.

The friendly nurse from my previous stint in hospital smiled sadly at me. I returned the gesture. Assef glanced over at me. Our eyes locked. We both gave each other that knowing look. The look that said we both knew how hard the other was fighting to stop from bursting out laughing. Pain was our pleasure! The very idea that Masood was possibly going to die brought great joy to both of us! Yes, it may be cruel, but this is the boy who raped a child. The girl who watched and laughed. When did morals ever matter to Assef and I? Javid and Faraya continued to badger the doctors.

"Why has there been no news?" I could hear Javid complain loudly to the poor nurse. "It's been _hours!_ We just want to know HOW OUR SON IS! IS HE ALIVE!" he asked the heavens. "PLEASE, GOD, PLEASE TELL ME THAT HE IS ALIVE! PLEASE TELL ME!" he ranted. Faraya placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. The nurse looked at a loss for words. I would certainly hate to be in her position right now.

"We are doing all we can," she rattled off. That's doctor speak for "please shut the fuck up and go away." I watched the scene with avid interest.

"BUT ARE YOU DOING ENOUGH?" Javid roared. It was entertaining to watch such a gentle man become so enraged. "I WANT HIM TO GET THE BEST CARE! DO YOU HEAR ME! PLEASE SAVE MY SON!" He broke down sobbing. He was truly on a rollercoaster of emotions.

"Surely they must have finished working on him by now," Faraya spoke in a light voice.

The nurse shook her head. "We don't know the full extent of the damage caused when he fell into the water. That was..." She glanced at Adia. "A really nasty bump he took when he hit his head." She continued to explain the situation in the simplest terms she could find.

Now was not the time for hospital jargon. Their sadness was etched on their faces. What I wouldn't give to spit on the floor in disgust right about now. Mama placed a hand on my shoulder. "Why don't you and your brother go for a quick walk?" she asked. "It won't do any good for all of us to be stuck here. Go on. Just a quick little walk around the hospital. That should be okay, yes?" she asked the nurse.

The nurse nodded. "As long as the child is looked after," she commanded.

"She'll be with her brother," Mama told her. "He's sixteen." Assef flashed the nurse one of his most charming smiles.

He got up and took my hand. "Alright then, kiddo. Let's go."

"Kay." I nodded sadly. We left them all to worry and fret. What good were we in such a situation? We did more harm to families such as Adia's than we did good! I wanted to laugh at Javid and Faraya's anguish so badly, but I had to keep playing the role of innocent Saria. Wiping my nose, (crocodile tears of course) I gave a small smile up at my brother. He returned the gesture.

"What do you think, Saria?" he asked. "Will we be going to a funeral soon? Hey, you might even get a new dress!" he quipped lightly. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know," I said innocently. "Maybe my promise to Adia will come true. Maybe he'll live." I sighed deeply; time to tell my brother what I had done. We kept no secrets from one another. "I told her about Zainab," I said quietly. "I told Adia. Told her everything."

Assef regarded me sternly. "You told her about the murder?" He ran his hand through his hair and sighed loudly. I felt like a child who had been caught misbehaving by their parents.

"I'll make sure she doesn't tell though!" I said hurriedly. "I threatened her with the same, I _promise!_ " I was truly frightened. I hated having my brother mad at me. I didn't even dare to _ask_ that question.

"You need to use your _brain_ , Saria!" Assef scolded loudly. "What if Adia does decide to tell? What about that? Did you even _think_ about that? Do you think about these things at _all?_ " He had begun to raise his voice. I backed into a corner as my brother advanced on me, his eyes blazing with rage. I hated knowing I was the cause of his rage.

"If she tells then you will be seven kinds of fucked! Fuck, you could go down for this, you get that? We _both_ could! Did that even cross your mind? Do the consequences of your idiocy even go through your _thick_ head. Be careful, you fucking _fool_!" he snapped at me.

Covering my hands with my mouth, I sank down onto a nearby chair. Assef's words struck a strong chord with me. Why had I told Adia? What the fuck was _wrong_ with me? I had just let my ginormous ego get the better of me! Now my entire future was hanging on a thread. Assef and I could both get sent down for so long! A murderer and her accomplice. We could get life imprisonment, or worse, be executed. I pulled on my hair, letting out a loud wail of frustration. "STUPID GIRL! YOU STUPID GIRL!" I wailed loudly. My sobs escalated as I buried my face in my hands. I rocked back and forth, screaming loudly. "I'M SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT! A FUCKING IDIOT! I'M SOOOOO SORRY!" I wailed.

Nurses passed and stared at me. "Is the little girl okay?" one asked, concerned.

"She's fine. We're here with one of her friends. He's not very well. She's such a sensitive little thing, keeps blaming herself." Assef knelt down in front of me. The nurse seemed satisfied with his explanation and left. Assef pulled my hands away from my face and surveyed me sadly. I continued to wail.

"Oh, kiddo," he breathed. I flung my arms around his neck. He picked me up and sat me on his lap.

"I'm so sorry, Assef," I cried loudly. "I'm such a fucking fool." All my sorrows were being let out in these wails. Assef shushed me gently. I pulled back from him. "I won't let you go down!" I swore to my brother. "I'll take the blame. _All_ of it! I'll s say you weren't' even there! I'll take any punishment they give, even a public stoning. _Anything_ as long as you stay safe!"

Assef held me against him. "Don't you think like that!" he whispered into my ear. "Don't you dare think like that!" I continued to cry. "God, kiddo. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I just worry so much about you. You listen to me now, Saria. Listen good. _Nobody_ is going to hurt you! No-one is taking my sister away! Pigs will fly before I let that happen!"

"But..." I whimpered.

Assef shushed me. "You can hold your own against Adia, I know that. Hell, I've seen how you control her. She knows what you're capable of!" Assef kissed my head gently. "You're incredibly smart, my dear. Together we can find a way through this!" He continued to soothe my cries. My little body shook with every single sob.

"I'm going to plant the knife on Jamil." I began speaking German to my brother. With our mother hailing from Berlin, it was only natural that her children learn the language. "T-that way, if anyone comes calling, we'll be in the clear."

Assef nodded. "Smart plan. Everybody hates that old man. He always has police calling. I'll bet he's even doing drugs!"

"What do you mean?" I asked, feigning innocence.

Assef laughed. Rested his head against mine. "We'll do it today. After lunch. I promise." I pulled back from him and gave a loud sniff. "I never meant to frighten you Saria, and I'm so sorry I did. Wipe your tears now, sister. We need to get back." I got up from his lap. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, kissed my cheek. "Come on."

We began to trudge back to our parents. My cheeks were stained with tears. I didn't bother to wipe them. Makes sense that a child as sensitive as myself would be crying in such a situation as this. As we approached, I could see a doctor talking to Masood's parents. I wondered what news they were bearing. My question was soon answered when Faraya flopped down onto the floor and let out an animalistic scream.

"NO! NO! NOOOOOOOO!" she wailed, hunched down on the floor. Her sobs echoed through the hospital. I let go of Assef's hand and ran to my mother. I had to keep playing the part.

"Mama, why is Khala Faraya so sad?" I asked innocently.

"WHY, GOD WHYYYYYYY!" Faraya cried loudly.

"Masood didn't make it, honey." Mama said in that tone of voice one uses when speaking to a small child. She caught me and Assef up in an awkward embrace. We were her children, and we were safe. Alive. I could hear her thank God in German. Adia flung herself at her father.

"BABA-JAN, PLEASE! TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE!" She suddenly rounded on me. "YOU! YOUU!" she roared. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" She let out an animalistic scream as she lunged at me, slamming my head into the wall. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOUR FAULT! YOU KILLED HIM! THAT SHOULD BE YOU IN THERE! YOU SHOULD BE DEAD! YOU! NOT MASOOD, YOUUUU!" she moaned.

"Adia, _stop!_ _STOP!_ " I cried. She continued to slap the shit out of me. I raised my hands to my face in attempt to defend myself? What the fuck had gotten into my little bitch? How dare she put her hands on me? How dare she attack me?

"ADIA!" Javid roared. "YOU STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!"

Assef grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and pulled her off me. He kept a tight grip on her shoulder. "I'll let you off this once because you're grieving. You lay a hand on Saria again though, and I won't be so lenient." I could hear him threaten. He released her. She stumbled away from me, collapsing in on herself.

"Come here, my child," Javid cooed gently, extending a hand to her. She immediately obeyed. The family continued to grieve. Javid's cries of anguish were quite soothing to me.

Papa opened his mouth to say something but stopped. Words could not bring Masood back. Nothing we could say or do would ease their pain. The collective agony this family were feeling could not be soothed. I bit back a smirk. What had transpired for them was truly a tragedy in the worst sense. "OUR SON! OUR ONLY SON!" Javid wailed, throwing his head back. His eyes burned with fury, like he was cursing the divine being lurking in the sky for having taken Masood from him. Tears streamed down his red face. I too began crying. I was such a sensitive little girl, as I wrote before.

At least, that is how I must be perceived. I flung my arms around Assef's waist. He squatted down and embraced me. I rested my head on his shoulder as I let out my sorrows. Tears dripped down my face. He rubbed my back comfortingly. All a show for these fools! I was a victim here as well. Poor little Saria. What a terrible tragedy. That's how I knew they would see it. Mama and Papa were both teary-eyed from the dreadful news as well. All of us bore the brunt of Masood's accident. No words could adequately describe the complex range of emotions we all felt right now.

I pulled away from Assef and looked at him sadly. "Assef, can the doctors make Masood better again?" I asked innocently. As I said this, Faraya covered her mouth and let out a wail of pain and sorrow.

Assef shook his head. Sniffed. We both should get Oscars for our acting ability. "No, my dear. They can't."

"But can't the doctors give him medicine?" I asked with all the innocence of a child.

"Well, that's just it, Saria. Sometimes doctors can't make people better. Sometimes they... well, sometimes... sometimes people are too sick, and they can't give them any medicine because it wouldn't work. Sometimes..." Assef sighed. "Sometimes people just die.

Even people as young as Masood. There's nothing we can do about it and it isn't anybody's fault. Do you understand this?"

I nodded. "It's just so sad," I lamented. Faraya got up off her knees and walked over to me. Her face was stained with tears, her eyes red and puffy. She got down on her knees and embraced me tightly, sobbing onto my shoulder. Assef straightened up and watched us, amused.

"You poor child!" The overly-emotional woman cried. "You've suffered too, haven't you, my darling? All of us have!" she exclaimed. "What happened today was _not_ your fault, Saria. Nobody is at fault. You must listen to your brother. They did what they could to save Masood, but nothing could be done!" She began to cry again in earnest.

"I understand, Khala Faraya," I sniffed. What a hilarious sight. Faraya continued to drown her sorrows onto my shoulder. I opened my mouth and let out a little moan of anguish. "I'm real sad Masood got hurt!" I said. What else could I say? My words were of no comfort to her. She had lost her child. The angelic Saria now had to comfort this sobbing woman.

"It's so sad!" I cried. They say denial is the first sign of grief. This was certainly true for Adia. She had fallen to her knees and was pounding the white-tiled floor, much the same as she had done yesterday. This was certainly a humorous sight for me.

"NOOOOO! IT'S NOT TRUEEE!" she roared. She was going to start hyperventilating if she wasn't careful. "MASOOD! MASOOOOOOOD! Please, GOD! Bring him back to me! Please _save_ him!" She slammed her head onto the ground, her fists clenched. I had to fight to stop from laughing.

"Stop that now, my daughter," Javid said kindly, reaching out a hand to her. He grabbed her by the shoulders. She turned around and slammed into him with such force that they both overbalanced and toppled to the floor. 'All of you stop over-reacting!' I thought. I had to bit down hard on my lip to stop myself from screaming this out.

"I WANT MASOOD!" Adia wailed. "IT CAN'T BE HAPPENING! I WON'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING! I SAW HIM YESTERDAY, AND HE WAS FINE! FIIIIIIIIIINE! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S DEAD! I WON'T BELIEVE IT!" She shook her head. "He's not dead." It came out as a mere whisper.

"Yes he is," Javid told her. I doubted he believed the news either. "He died in his sleep."

He held his youngest child. His _only_ child now. "They tried to save him, lord knows they tried, but nothing could be done." The pain that these people must have felt was nothing short of euphoric for me. This was my drug. All the same, though, I wanted to go home! Let's be frank for one moment, who gives a fuck that Masood died? People die _all_ the _time._ I am hungry, for fuck sake. Masood was just trash and God decided to throw him away. That is how I honestly viewed the situation. I had to remember though to stay in character. One slip up could be detrimental for me. I glanced at Adia as she sobbed in her father's arms.

Of course, she knew _everything_ about me. She knew how dark and decrepit I really was. I wondered what was going through her mind when I had told her about Zainab. Did she dream about it? I wondered. Certainly today I had been kinder to her than ever before. I had behaved almost like a sort of " big sister" to the girl. Now more than ever she would need a friend. A guider. A protector. She would need her sweet Saria to be there for her. Her sorrow was something I was going to use to my advantage! She would be ten times easier to manipulate now. She definetly would experience some sort of post traumatic stress disorder, at least

I hoped so! She continued to sob. Her cries were loud enough to wake the dead. Obviously they didn't. Faraya and Javid tried desperately to soothe their daughter. As the adults, it was their job to comfort her! Mama too was crying for this poor family. Stupid bitch was always too sensitive. I placed my tiny hand in hers. Now more than ever she would be thankful for her two healthy children. Her two _living_ children. I leaned against her legs, rubbing my hands with my eyes. I was really hamming up the child act today. As I've written in previous journals, I can pass for eight or nine, if I want to. I'm very small for my age.

"Mama," I muttered sadly. "I don't like when people die."

"I know, Saria, I don't like it either," she replied, stroking my hair. "Nobody does." It seems death followed me around lately. Zainab. Now Masood. Masood should count himself lucky he didn't have the image of me stabbing him as his last image on this Earth.

"I'd think we'd better get off home." Papa said, finally. I breathed a sigh of relief. "You have our deepest condolonces, all of you." Adia nodded, and he shook her little hand.

"T-thank you for coming all the way out here, Mahmood," Javid said. He wiped his eyes. "You make sure to keep in touch, Saria, won't you?" he asked me. "Adi's going to need a friend like you." Assef bit down hard on his lip. We left the grieving family. Masood's death was all that we could talk about in the car.

"That poor boy," Mama cried, wiping her nose on an old lace handkerchief. "Only thirteen years old. So young. Imagine, Assef, that's three years younger than only one year older than our Saria." I kept my eyes down. I'd had quite enough of listening about Masood. He's dead. I had to focus on the task at hand, getting rid of that fucking knife.

It was only a matter of time before I'd be found out, and I wanted to make sure that never happened. "Mama, what time is it?" I asked from the back seat. She peered down at her watch. The watch Papa gave her on their last wedding anniversary.

"It's half past one, baby girl," she replied. "Why?"

"No reason," I replied sweetly. I looked over at Assef pointedly. He knew me well enough to determine the meaning of my look.

"Mother, Father, is it okay if I take Saria out for a quick walk. Just to clear both our heads." Papa smiled at his son from the rearview mirror.

"Of course, Assef. I'd say you both need some fresh air. Take as long as you want."

"I need to get out," I said. "If I'm stuck at home, I'll get sad from thinking about Masood." I made my voice break as I said this. We eventually arrived home.

"Go get your coat, kiddo," Assef said. I nodded and walked forlornly up the stairs. 'Righto, time to get rid of this fucking knife,' I thought,

I thought to myself as I bent down and retrieved the bag from under the floorboards. I made sure to be wearing gloves before I touched the blade. Pocketing it in my blue duffle coat, I walked back down the stairs and took my big brother's hand.

"You two be safe," Mama called as we exited the house.

"Right, where does this kunis live?" Assef asked.

"Only five minutes away from us," I replied. Framing Jamil would be a doddle. And did I care if he went to jail? Did I heck? He was Hazara. They deserve everything they get, and then some. We were alone, so I began skipping down the road.

"MASOOD IS DEAD!" I cheered loudly in joy. "Yay! Yay!" Assef laughed at me.

"Now that's not a nice thing to say," he scolded mock-sternly. I turned back to face him.

"Sagt der Junge, der gerade vergewaltigt jemand vor drei Tagen," I giggled. 'Says the boy who just raped someone three days ago.'

"Me? Du bist derjenige, der fast nass selbst zu beobachten," Assef replied. 'Me? You're the one who almost wet herself watching.' We both grinned at each other. Eventually, we reached Jamil's old hut. The elderly man was nowhere to be seen. I scanned the area cautiously. Nothing.

"I'm going in," I told Assef. "You stay out here and keep a watch for him."

He nodded. "Of course, be careful." I nodded and walked tentatively into the hut. My heart pounded in my chest. If I was caught here it could be all over for me. I tiptoed around silently.

I noticed a half open drawer. "Right. Let's get rid of this thing," I whispered under my breath. I opened the drawer up and placed the knife in under some old bed sheets. "Let's see how this fucker likes jail." Smirking, I closed the drawer to exactly where it had been moments before. Footsteps. I hurriedly crawled under the bed, making sure to be as silent as absolutely possible.

Jamil walked back inside, carrying some washing. He walked over to the drawer, pulled it open. He began fiddling with the sheets, when his hand brushed against the handle of the knife. He carried on, not noticing. I almost shrieked in joy. 'Brilliant, now his finger prints will be on it!' I thought to myself. I suddenly realized how thoroughly fucked I was. I held my breath, praying that Jamil would not see me. After a few more minutes, he walked outside again. Once I was certain that his back was turned I crawled out from under the bed and made a hasty exit. Assef and I hid in some bushes and watched for a few moments.

As luck would have it, and it seemed luck was _truly_ on my side these past few days, a mere five minutes after I had planted the knife, who showed up, but Abdal. The police man who had questioned me about Zainab's murder. He walked up to the Hazara man. "I need to speak to you," he said.

"What about?" Jamil asked.

Abdal held out a bag. " _This_ was found near Zainab Qualmari's body." I covered my hands with my mouth. Oh, fucking brilliant! What a day! "You and I both know you've had trouble with drugs before. That makes you our prime suspect. I'm going to search your premisis," he informed the old man.

"HEY! WAIT, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Jamil certainly had a mouth on him for a Hazara.

Abdal half-glared at him suspiciously. "Hiding something, are we? Well let's see then." It only took moments for him to find the bloody knife. "Hmm," He held it to the light. "Drugs found by her body, and the knife on your person? It's a bit coincidental, isn't it?" He had no fucking idea how "coincidental" it was.

"I never hurt that little girl!" Jamil screamed. "I'M INNOCENT!" he tried to plead with them as he was led away.

"I bet that this knife will have your fingerprints all over it." Not wrong there. "What kind of _sick animal_ would murder a little girl?" He spat at Jamil. "You're a _monster._ Do you hear? AN ABSOLUTE MONSTER!" He roared, back handing Jamil clean across the face. Jamil's head reeled with the force of the blow. Yet, he still continued to plead innocence to the bitter end. After they had gone, Assef and I began making our way back home.

"Well now, kiddo, wouldn't you say that was a job well done on our part?" Assef asked.

I grinned up at him. "A job very very well done," I replied. I now knew that I could kill and get away with it. Some children "get away with murder..." I literally have..


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 13 saw the death of Masood and was delighted to find this meant she could control Adia even more. Now the winter holidays have ended and she is now going back to school but it won't be long before she makes a new foe...

_Tears. An abundance of them surround me. I am surrounded by people, and yet, nobody makes a sound. A few short words are spoken, a prayer of some sort. I do not know. I do not bother myself with the trivialities of religion, of a god who will one day damn me. There is silence. A poignant silence in which we are to reflect. Winter has passed, the time of laughter and playing, a time spent with my brother, scoping out potential victims to our unyielding cruelty that must pass. My blue dress, the same one I wore during Adia's burning, flutters in the wind. Even though winter is over, the cold air still bites at me and I am grateful to my mother for insisting that I wear gloves._

_All around me, there is a sense of loss. Nobody says a word, for the fleeting glances we give each other are enough to convey everything we are feeling. My eyes remain firmly on the ground, my feet kicking up dust in sheer boredom. Papa's hand is on Javid's shoulder, a gesture of comfort. 'What good will it do?' I wonder, as I glance at them for a brief moment. What good will a mere physical gesture of kindness do? Faraya is silent, tears pooling in her eyes. Her dress, like mine, moves with the wind._

_She holds one hand upon the skirt, to keep it from flying up and exposing her, if you get my drift. Another few words are spoken, this time an old prayer I recognize from my childhood. Some elderly man I do not know, nor do I care to, sings the same Farsi song that Mama used to get Assef and I to sleep when we were babies. Apparently it's the song of Masood's childhood too. Such a poignant sense of loss hangs onto us, ensnaring each of us with its firm, yet gentle grip. The old man continues to sing, his voice the only sound, his words an expressing of grief, of pain._

_Assef, who stands behind me, leans down and whispers in my ear. "He should stick with the day job, don't you think?" he asks jokingly. I turn to him and give a crooked smile. Biting down hard on my lip, thus begins my internal struggle to stop myself from laughing out loud. I feel no loss, no sense of grief, no pain. This scene, this tragic loss of a life so young, is pleasurable to me. Something I find joy in. Something I thrive on. The only thing better than Masood's death would be if I had murdered him myself. Alas, such a happy occasion may well one day come to pass when his little sister._

_A girl who I now hold in my arms, her fragile body wracked with grief, will kneel before me and beg for a mercy that is not in my nature to give. There will come a time, when, as all things do, Adia will have run her course. There will be, then, no need for her to live. What purpose is she, other than a slave to a power much greater than her? She means nothing to me._ _One day, I will get sick of her and then, I may have to kill her. She knows too much. Be my friend or die. These are her only options. This whole world, and everybody in it, I could throw away, burn, stab, decapitate, torture. All without a single feeling of remorse. Children, mothers, fathers, sisters, uncles, aunts._

_Frail elderly ladies who give me money and tell me how pretty I am. Each of them could be murdered without a single thought. I could burn the whole world alive and feel nothing as they scream. Assef was, is, and always will remain the one exception to this rule. Could I hurt him knowingly? It's like asking could an elephant do ballet. Completely impossible. My arms wind themselves around his waist, and I bury my face in the fabric of his shirt. He looks down at me, surprised. "What's brought this on, kiddo?" he asks. I smile sadly._

_"Just thinking about how much I love you," I reply._

_"Love you too, kiddo. Love you too."_

_Adia sniffs, encaged in my iron grip. "Shh now, you mustn't cry. Masood wouldn't want us to be sad, would he? He'd want us to be happy. He was always so happy when I was with him. He'd be real sad if he was here now," I say aloud. Faraya looks at me, and a ghostly smile appears on her face._

_"You're right Saria. Masood would want us to be happy." Saying is one thing though, doing is another, and her bloodshot eyes tell me she won't be happy for a long while, if ever again. A lone leaf falls from a tree, flutters in the wind. Silence once more, as we reflect on the life lost. Masood. Brother, hero, friend. Now destined to become a rotting corpse in the ground. Days will turn to months, months to years. Flesh to bone, bone to dust. It's the cycle of death that Masood must now undertake._

_Remorse is not something I feel. One could argue that this is my fault, that it was my foolishness in that lake that caused his death, that if I had only been cautious, had not leaned in so far, he would have lived. I argue that it was his choice to jump in after me. So what if he's dead? He's not Assef._

"Saria! Saria, darling, wake up!" Groaning, I opened my eyes. Mama sat on the edge of the bed, one hand stroking my hair, that usual stupid grin on her face. Bitch woke me up from what was quite a pleasant dream.

Eyes still smeary with sleep, I forced myself to give her one of my charming smiles. "Good morning, Mama, what time is it?" I asked.

"It's half past six, my dear. Get up now because Papa needs to leave here by quarter to eight, okay?"

"Papa working?" I asked, sitting up groggily.

Mama nodded. "Yes, Saria. He's going to drop you off first and then he'll take Assef. But you really need to hurry up. You had a bath last night, didn't you?"

"Yes, Mama."

"Well, that's one less thing to do. Come on, breakfast will be waiting for you on the table. Good girl." She smiled again and left my room. Not wanting to delay the inevitable, I threw off my warm covers and placed my bare feet down on the floor.

"Fuck! Cold!" I swore under my breath. The room was shrouded in darkness. I stumbled around blindly until I found the light switch. The dreaded return to school that every child (even sociopathic ones) hates, had finally arrived. No more fun winters, no more kite tournaments. Now I found myself faced with hours of homework, study and tests. Groaning, I padded over to my wardrobe and pulled out the plaid dress I always wore for school.

I'd had it since I was eight and it still fit me. Just goes to show how fucking tiny I am. I dressed quickly, not wanting to put up with the scolding I would get if I were late. I took out my book bag which I had already packed full of my books from the last night.

There were a million and one things I wanted to do now rather than go to school. I brushed my hair and tied it into two ribboned pigtails. The china doll on my desk stared tauntingly at me. I reached out and picked her up. She had the same old fashioned dress sense that I had. I held her to my cheek as I walked over to the mirror. We both looked so alike, the doll and me. Both so innocent.

"Aren't we pretty?" I asked her. She stared up at me, her cold black eyes unfeeling. A mirror to my very soul. "You're so lucky you won't have to go through any of the shit I face today." I informed her truthfully. As expected, she had no answer for me. "Stupid fucking doll," I muttered, tossing her back onto the bed. I wished with all my heart that I could lie down there with her.

I could scarcely believe that winter had come to an end already. How I longed to be back in that alleyway watching my brother ravage Hassan. That had undoubtedly been the highlight of the entire season for me. Some Kabuli children would say that the kite tournament is the highlight of winter. I say watching someone be raped is mine.

With a heavy heart I left my bedroom, clicking the door shut behind me. That was the way I liked it. Keeping the darkness locked within. I took one final glance at myself in the hall mirror and retreated downstairs. Remembering to always keep that perpetual smile upon my face, I pushed open the kitchen door, where Mama had already poured a cup of hot black tea with sugar waiting for me. I smiled politely and bowed my knees.

"Tashakor, Mama," I said.

"You're welcome, Saria jan." She gave me her usual simpering smile.

"Enjoy," she half-ordered as she bustled off to prepare herself for the day ahead. Assef was already seated, finishing his breakfast. We both locked eyes and gave each other that knowing look. It's amazing how some people can be so close that they don't even have to speak to know what the other feels inside. My face must have shown my disdain because Assef came over and wrapped his arms around me, kissing my cheek.

"School?" he asked.

I nodded. "I was hoping they'd let us off, what with Masood's death and all," I mused, resting my head on his chest. "I dreamt about the funeral last night, you know? That was a good day."

"Better than the kite tournament?"

"Now, you know there's nothing that tops that." I dissolved into giggles.

"What's so funny?" Assef asked teasingly.

"Oh, nothing. Just the realization that I'm in the arms of a rapist right now. It's funny." I smiled up at him.

"You're a strange girl, you know that?"

"That's why you love me. Because I'm just like you." I hopped down from his lap and resumed my original seat. "I don't want to go to school today. I'm… I'm scared." Finally I could let my emotions out.

"Of what, kiddo?" Assef asked, immediately becoming concerned for me. I bit down on my lip.

"The others don't like me," I admitted. "I know this, and I'm okay with that. Truly. I mean, I don't _want_ them as my friends." I sighed deeply. Trying to find the right words.

"You know how angry I get sometimes." Assef nodded. I continued, "I mean, you've seen what I did to Zainab. I'm scared I'll lose control, and I won't have you around to calm me down." I said. Assef sat me on his lap and I rested my head against his chest.

"Just take it one moment at a time," he advised. "Don't let them get to you. I know how you get, dear." He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Trust me; I know firsthand how difficult it is to control yourself when someone angers you." I could only nod in total agreement. "You need to remember that no matter what, you can't lose control of yourself in school. Just ignore anything they say. We'll get back at them later, if needs be."

From my peripheral I could see Papa watching us. I hopped down and raced over to him, wrapping my arms around his legs.

"I don't wanna go to school, Papa," I spoke childishly.

"And why is that?" he teased gently.

"I just don't want to go. I wish winter never ended!" I looked down at my feet.

"Oh, don't we all, Saria?" Papa asked. He clapped his hands together. "Well, no use denying the inevitable. Car, both of you," he ordered and we both made our way to the car that would take me to the most hated place for any child. I sat into the back seat and buckled up. Aside from my Amir, my family was the only one who drove to school. The rest of the girls just walked. I knew it made them envious every time they seen me driving through the gates.

As we neared the school grounds the first thing I saw was a group of Zainab's friends. One, Zaire, caught me eying her and flipped me the bird. "Fucking goddamn cunt," I muttered. Thankfully, Papa was too busying trying to perfect his parallel parking to notice. Just another day in my life, I guess.

"Alright, honey. Enjoy your day," Papa said as I hopped out of the car. I turned back and gave him a little wave.

Assef hopped out too and leaned down to embrace me. "Remember; self-control, kiddo. I love you."

"I love you too!" I called over my shoulder as I took off running into the school grounds. As I ran, I accidentally collided straight into another girl of about thirteen, knocking us both to the asphalt.

"Watch where you're going you little _bitch_!" she swore, not even bothering to help me up. I sat there, dazed, my head reeling, shocked that she would speak to me in this way. I could scarcely believe that any child would be so dumb. What I wouldn't give to slap her full force right now. I had to remember my brother's words. Self control was imperative.

Still, that didn't mean I couldn't put her in her place with my words now, did it? I quickly leapt to my feet and leaned over her. As was common with my enemies, she immediately shrank back. "Why don't you watch how you speak to me?" I snapped. She pushed me back with such force that I almost fell over.

"Why don't _you_ watch where you're going?" she snarled.

Instantly I could tell that she was new here. Why else would she be so bold as to challenge me? I could tell I had made a powerful new enemy. I knew I would soon put her in her place, though. "Oh, are you looking for a fight?" I asked, clenching my fists. "Because if you are, then you found one!" We eyed each other up. She stood a few inches taller than me, as do most people, but I looked up at her with as much fury as I could muster. She wore a blue dress that clung to her legs. Her black hair was tied back in a bun.

She held her hands up in anticipation. I walked towards her, leaned down so I was right in her face. I kept driving her backwards so that I now had her pinned up against the wall. I saw that a crowd had gathered. Luckily for us, the bell had not been rung for class to begin. Or should I say, unluckily for her! I lifted my hand, tightened it around her throat. " _Nobody_ speaks to me that way!" I snapped. The girl made guttural choking noises. " _Nobody_!" I emphasized again. I lifted my other hand and cracked her once, twice, three times in the face.

"I'm gonna tell!" she wailed. As they all do. I smiled, raising my eyebrows.

"Are you now?" I asked, giggling uncontrollably. "Why would you do that, hmm?" I slammed her head into the wall. "Say, do you like your face?" I asked. "You look pretty, don't you? It would be a terrible waste if you were to get scarred or disfigured." I leaned down to whisper in her ear. "If you bother me, my brother will fuck you. Literally. I'll get him to rape you," I whispered.

"You don't scare me!" she retorted, pushing me backwards.

"Just watch your back! Just watch your back, dear," I spat. I let her go and skipped off. Inside, I was fuming. How _dare_ this girl behave this way. What was wrong with her? Did she know who I was? Who my brother was? What we had done?

I wanted to kill her. To gut her like a piece of Swiss cheese. My body shook with rage, but I couldn't let my emotions through. I had a part to play. It wouldn't be too hard for me to take revenge on this child and go unnoticed. I knew nobody would ever think of me as a bad person, or capable of these atrocities. True, I had allowed the other children to witness my violent temper just there, but each of them was well aware of what I was capable of. The girl I had just threatened was now back with her circle of friends. I watched them comfort her, each whispering soothing words.

She caught me eyeing her and flipped me the bird. 'Control, Saria, control…' I reminded myself. We stared each other out for a few more moments, and she stuck her tongue out at me. Clearly she had no understanding of the word fear. No matter. I would show her. This girl, whoever she was, had just made a very powerful enemy. If I had to dispose of her the way I disposed of Zainab, then I had no qualms about it. Why should I? She was of no importance to me. It would be her own fault if she ended up stabbed, or worse. Taking a deep breath, I decided that I would at least give her a chance.

She'd fucked up once, but I would let that incident slide. She didn't know who I was, after all. Perhaps once she did, she would stay away from me. For her sake I could only hope she would. I spotted Adia up ahead, looking forlorn. Smiling, I strolled over to her. "Hello, Adia jan." I said, slinging an arm around her shoulders. She looked up at me and smiled. As good a smile she could muster considering how shit her winter had been.

"Hello, Saria," she said. Her voice cracked as she spoke. We had not seen each other since the funeral. Surely the sight of me must have brought back so many bad memories. I gently brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"How are you holding up, dear?" I asked. She looked at me in confusion. Wondering why I would be so kind to her. In truth, I needed something to calm my nerves. Needed to be a 'friend' to someone. I had to suppress my dark urges today. At least for a while. "No answer?" I kissed her forehead. "It's alright. You just stick with me today, my dear." I rubbed her tiny hand. I could see 'new girl' watching us.

"Stick with me and we'll get through it one moment at a time." I told her. The bell was rung for the beginning of class. I knew I had a tedious day lined up ahead of me. Taking Adia's hand, I began to trudge into line. As I made my way into class, someone pushed against my bitch, making her stumble. It was easy to see who the culprit was. We made our way inside and took our seats.

Mullah Fahsir Khan, a new Mullah since our last one had passed away, addressed the class, his voice loud and authoritive. "Welcome back, girls. I trust your winter was enjoyable." 'You have no idea,' I thought to myself. "Well, we've got a long year of hard work ahead of us." We all groaned collectively.

"Lots of homework." Another groan from the class

Mullah Fahsir Khan slapped his forehead. " _Oh!_ _How_ could I have forgotten?" He gestured to the girl I had just named as my new enemy. "Girls, we have a new student joining us. This," he placed a gnarled hand on her shoulder, "is Ahtrai. She comes from the Karter-Char district." The Karter-Char district. The last person I had met from there ended up being beaten unconscious by my brother.

Part of me began wishing that Ahtrai would end up suffering the same fate. Raising my hand, I waved sweetly at her. 'Ahtrai, such a pretty name… almost rhymes with raped or murdered.' I thought to myself, suppressing a grin. "I'm sure you'll all want to get to know her," the Mullah grinned. 'I'd like her to get to know my brother's brass knuckles.' I thought.

The Mullah continued with the day's Rumi lesson as though nothing in the world was wrong. Every so often, he would call on me to answer a question, which was one of my deepest pet-hates. Can't he just leave me _alone_? I found myself wanting to deck him on a number of occasions. Time seemed to tick by endlessly before we were allowed out for lunch. I made my way outside and trudged over to one of the swings. I sat down and began swinging back and forth.

Adia, for some strange reason, had not come over to me. 'Just let it go' I told myself. No need to be pissed at my bitch for not playing with me. Besides, I needed all the solitude I could get. I closed my eyes and looked up at the clouds. For all intents and purposes, this day hadn't gone too badly.

I was startled out of my calm thoughts by a loud wail. "Now what the fuck is going on here?" I asked. I stood up and made my way hurriedly to the source of the noise. Ahtrai had Adia pinned to the ground. Two of her little bitch friends held the child's feet captive. Adia was struggling. Ahtrai kept slapping and hitting her repeatedly. None of the other children could move; they were all shocked by what they were seeing.

"What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing?" I screamed suddenly. Ahtrai looked up as I violently shoved her to the asphalt. Adia rose shakily to her feet and stumbled backwards. Ahtrai and I circled each other, like a lioness circling a zebra. I being the lioness, of course. With my hands balled up into fists, I began to shake as I stole another glance at Adia. She stood nearest to me, one tiny hand wrapped around her waist. Her lip was bleeding, and I imagined it must be hurting quite a bit.

Still, for all her faults, she had been very brave. She was only ten, after all and Ahtrai thirteen. Ahtrai clenched her fists, a bold determination set in her coal black eyes. She did not seem to show any signs of backing down, and I, though my heart pains me to say it, admired her for it. Not many children take on the Ahmed siblings and live to tell the tale. Or, in the very least, live a normal life ever again. Cases in point; Zainab and Hassan.

Adia whimpered, covering her eyes. I gave her a small smile to reassure her that no more harm would come to her by Ahtrai's hands. Bitch she may be, yes, but she was _my_ bitch. Nobody else, with the exception of Assef, who is, of course, the exception to most of my rules, was allowed to harm her. To think that Ahtrai had put claim on _my_ property was infuriating to me. "What's wrong, are you scared?" Ahtrai taunted. "Are you waiting for me to take the first shot?" She stepped closer to me. I did not falter.

"Well go ahead, Ahtrai," I said, holding my open palms up. "Hit me. Take the first shot. TAKE IT!" Impulse was driving me now, the desire to be struck .The desire for her to face the punishment my brother would undoubtedly dole out to her. "Coward!" I teased. Something wet and sticky landed in my eye. It took all of ten seconds to figure out that Ahtrai had spat on me.

The nerve of her! I violently shoved her to the ground. "Spit on me, huh?" I screamed as I began kicking her repeatedly. "You filthy _whore_!" I continued my merciless assault. Spat, kicked and punched every inch of her. I dug my finger nails into her stomach, reveling in her moans of pain.

She curled up like a tortoise in its shell. The rest of her friends gasped as I kicked their leader mercilessly. I knelt down next to her and put a hand on her neck, squeezing tight. Her face was bright red, drool trickled down her chin from her bottom lip. I noticed a large rock lying beside me, and grabbed hold of it. I raised it up over my head, with every intention of smashing it down onto her pretty little face. Ahtrai gulped audibly.

I grinned at her. "Shh, it's time to sleep now," I said as I made to let go of the rock. Something hard rammed into me, and I fell to the ground. I rolled from side to side, pain in my head Ahtrai now had the upper hand and was kicking me in the stomach! I moaned in pain; I did not deserve this suffering.

"Leave her alone!" Adia screamed suddenly. "LEAVE MY FRIEND ALONE!" She dove on Ahtrai and threw her off me. I blinked, surprised. 'That's my bitch!' I thought to myself, unable to suppress the large grin on my face.

Adia certainly had some strength in her I had never seen before. Ahtrai's friends stood frozen. The cowards! From my peripheral, I could see Mullah Fahsir Khan rushing towards us. My heart dropped. How much of the fight had he seen? I decided I would have to play the part of the victim. The part I knew so well. I curled up in a ball on the floor, rocking back and forth.

Ahtrai did not see him coming, and made to strike me again. I shrank back, seemingly terrified. Her fist inched closer to my face. Mullah Fahsir Khan pulled her off me suddenly. "GET OFF HER!" he roared, holding her round the waist. "What do you think you're doing, young lady?" he spat viciously. I cried loudly, my head in my hands.

"She started it!" Ahtrai screamed.

"Yeah, Saria hit Ahtrai first!" her friends jumped in at her defense.

"Is that true, Saria?"

I shook my head frantically. Took a deep breath. Calmed myself. "No. That's not true at all. Ahtrai started teasing Adia. I told her to stop and she just ganged up on me. On us," I said calmly.

She threatened to smash my face in with a rock!" Ahtrai sobbed. "She's dangerous!"

Mullah Fahsir Khan snickered. "Dangerous?" he asked. "This child's terrified out of her wits. Look at her. Look at what you've done to her." He gestured to my bleeding nose. "How did that happen? Did she do that to herself?" She was at a loss for words. "Ahtrai, you're new here. Don't make things harder for yourself," Mullah Fahsir Khan said. "Just admit what you did was wrong and accept whatever punishment you get given." Ahtrai continued to sob uncontrollably.

"NO! NOOO!" she moaned. "PLEASE BELIEVE ME! I DID NOTHING! It's her! It's all _her!_ She threatened me! She threatened that her brother would rape me!" 'Oh, you're in for it now,' I vowed. Nobody tried to get my brother into trouble and got away with it! My eyes widened in false shock.

"That's despicable, Ahtrai," Mullah Fahsir Khan's tone was disappointed. "That's a terrible accusation. I know Saria. I know her brother. They are two of the kindest, sweetest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, and I know that Saria would never threaten you like that, nor would Assef ever lay a hand on anyone." I knew that no matter what she said I had the upper hand here.

My bitch suddenly spoke up. "Saria was only standing up for me and I thank her for it. She did nothin' wrong. Please don't punish her. Please!"

"I'm not mad at Saria, dear," the Mullah replied. "She's not in _any_ trouble."

I smiled demurely. "Thank you. Thank you," I said politely.

"Saria," he said. "If you want, I can run across to your brother's school to get him to collect you. He'll be able to get a half day from school to come take you home. You can wait in my office for him."

I nodded. "Mmmhmm," I said. "I'd like that." Mullah Fahsir Khan led Ahtrai away for what I was sure, in his eyes, would be an appropriate punishment. Her friends scurried after them, begging for mercy on behalf of their fallen comrade.

Adia began sobbing as she watched them go. I rounded on her suddenly. "Don't think for one moment I care for you," I snarled at her. "You are my property, and nobody harms my property without my prior consent." I grabbed her arms. She whimpered as I leaned in close to her face. My grip was the only thing keeping her from toppling to the asphalt. "Are you going to tell on me?" I asked quietly. She shook her head. My grip slackened just a bit, but it was enough to make her stumble.

"Are you?" I asked. "A nod is not an answer, Adia, and choose your words carefully. Accidents do happen."

"No, noo!" she half moaned. "I won't tell. I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die!" I straightened her up.

"That works for me," I said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. I gently kissed her cheek. "You'd better run along, dear. Off to Maths." I watched her go and made my way to Mullah Fahsir Khan's office.

I lowered myself into an old oak chair and began rocking back and forth. Time ticked by endlessly as I dealt with my tangled thoughts. I shook my head repeatedly, trying to clear it. 'No one will believe them,' I told myself. 'You're in the clear.' Ahtrai had some nerve to challenge me. What was her problem? Did she think she could 'take my throne', so to speak, like that?

I knew I had made five new enemies. "God!" I swore. "Just once, let people have the sense not to challenge me!" I was truly getting sick of putting people in their place. "Saria," Mullah Fahsir Khan said, placing a gnarled hand on my shoulder. "Your brother's here." I immediately jumped up and ran to him. We embraced each other tightly.

"Are you alright, Saria?" Assef asked as he stroked the back of my head. He straightened up and turned to the mullah. "Does she need a doctor?" he asked, putting an arm around me and drawing me in close.

Mullah Fahsir Khan shook his head. "No. I'd say she'll be fine with a bit of T.L.C."

Assef smiled one of his most charming smiles. "Well, she'll definitely get that." He straightened up and took my hand. "Come on, kiddo, let's get you home." As we walked, I noticed Ahtrai sitting on a chair on her own. Her face buried in her hands. Slender body shaking with sobs. She looked up when she heard our footsteps across the tiled floor.

I bared my teeth at her and snarled like a wild animal. She whimpered. "She's not as brave as I thought she'd be," Assef sneered.

"It's because you're here," I said, smiling up at him. "Because she knows you'll rape her."

"I'll take a piss in her mouth," Assef teased, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

I giggled, covering my mouth with my left hand. "You're my favorite brother _ever!"_ I said childishly.

Assef looked down at me for one long moment. His eyes bore into mine. For one split second, I didn't know him. He could have been any old stranger on the street, and not the brother and best friend I loved. Assef's vibrant blue eyes, the same eyes as mine, clouded over for one split second. The he blinked and smiled at me. "I'm your only brother, Saria," he said.

"Assef what was that about?" I asked.

"What?"

"The way you looked at me there. It was like I didn't know you. Is there something you're not telling me?" I asked.

Assef sighed. "It's nothing, kiddo. I'll tell you one day, but not now. You deserve to know, but I'm not quite ready to talk about it yet. When it's time to talk, we'll talk," he said. I nodded.

"Okay," I said, deciding not to push it. "Don't feel pressured, Assef. I'm ready to listen whenever you're ready to talk."

"When'd you get so smart, sport?" he asked. "I guess someone had to get the good family genes," I quipped.

Assef dug his fingers into my ribs. "Do you now?" he asked, grinning. I shrieked with laughter.

"Joking! I was JOOOKING!" I squealed.

"Oh, I don't know. You've got a bit of a mouth on you, Saria. I wouldn't be a proper sociopath if I didn't punish you for it." He tickled me mercilessly. I began frantically beating at his waist.

"ASSSEFFF!" I giggled "STOOOP!" My arms and legs flailed around wildly.

"Well, alright. don't want you passing out on me." he kissed my cheek. "Come on then, let's get you home before Mother and Father get back. We can play pool, and maybe go for a 'just because' Maybe see if Ahmad wants to play?"

I squealed loudly. Bounced up and down. "Do you mean it, Assef?" I asked. " _Really?_ " He nodded. "Thank you! Oh, _thank you_ , brother! We haven't had a just because in AAGES!" My eyes lit up. A just because was when Assef and I used to spend hours scoping out potential victims. Once we had chosen one, we'd chase them 'till they could run no more, and then we'd taunt them, make them believe we were going to hurt them, but never actually getting around to it.

I remember making people faint on a number of occasions. After we had successfully caused them to panic, we'd eventually get around to physical violence. Most of these people had done nothing to us, nothing that warranted our treatment of them. Hence the name, just because. I loved bonding with my brother over a just because. It was so much fun, and Assef always took me out for a bite to eat afterwards.

"I promise I'll get Ahtrai back for what she did to you," Assef reassured me. "She's damn lucky I wasn't there when she attacked you. I'd have slit her fucking throat ear to ear." He emphasized.

"She spat on me too," I said sadly. "Spat in my eye like I'm nothing," I mumbled to my feet. "Am I _nothing_?" I asked.

Assef shook his head. "No, God, no. That's _not_ true! How dare that bitch think she can spit on my baby sister and get away with it? I should go back there and smash her fucking head in right now!" he swore angrily. "And to think, all she'll get is fucking detention! It's not even... oh that little _cunt_ , treating you that way! What a little _bitch_!" he snapped.

He sighed heavily as we walked into our home. "You know something, sport?" he asked as we both curled up next to each other on the couch. "I'm getting pretty sick of putting people in their place. I'm sick of people not understand they're beneath us."

"Me too," I said. I rested my head on his chest as he cradled me in his arms. "Me too."

My face darkened as I imagined what I would like to do to Ahtrai. Gut her like a fish. Slit her throat. Defecate in her mouth. I wanted her to _taste_ it. I smiled as I imagined the beautiful fantasy that I hoped would become reality.


	15. Old Friend's Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria's return to school got off to a bad start when a new girl named Ahtrai decided to make her an enemy. She managed once again to manipulate the situation to her advantage and Ahtrai was sent to the principal's office. Now we find that it is midweek and trouble is still following her...

The sun beat in the windows as I packed my bag. School was now over for the rest of this Tuesday afternoon, something I couldn't be happier about. I don't think that I could stand to listen to Mullah Fazir Khan droning on about Pashtun history one more second. It had now been one full week since Ahtrai's arrival into Wazir-Akbhar-Khan. For the most part, she and her friends kept to themselves, which was exactly how it should have been.

She and her circle of friends kept to themselves, not bothering to branch out and make friends with any of the other children. Under my influence, the other girl's in our class avoided Ahtrai with the same vehemence that one bestows upon a leper. Adia had also become a lot happier since I'd stood up for her against Ahtrai. As I said before, that girl was _my_ property and it would be a cold day in hell before I let anyone else push her around.

It just wouldn't do to make the poor little thing feel as though she had two masters now, would it? I prepared to leave the now deserted classroom. Suddenly, I felt something hard ram into me. I overbalanced and fell flat on my face, whacking my nose off floor. My pencil case rolled out of my open bag and under a table. Pencils, pens, crayons and fountain pens all spilled out across the classroom. ''FUCK!'' I swore as I crawled around desperately trying to pick them all up.

''Tsk, tsk, little girls shouldn't be using language like that!'' scolded a voice from behind me. I turned around on my knees, coming face to face, or should that be face to legs, with Ahtrai. She stood over me with her arms folded across her chest. Forgetting about my school things, I instantly leapt to my feet and glared daggers at her. She wore a red dress that had a ribbon tied at the back. I had to laugh at the irony of her choice of clothing. 'Like a red flag to a bull,' I thought to myself.

Ahtrai bent down and picked up one of my books, the heaviest of them. She walked towards me with the book raised. I backed away, raising my hands up at my sides in anticipation. ''OHHH, are you scared of me, Saria?'' she asked teasingly.

''Don't push me, Ahtrai, just _don't_ push me!'' I snapped, clenching my fists. Ahtrai advanced on me, a wide grin plastered on her face. She took the book and swung her arm back. She cracked me on the side of the head with it. My head reeled as I stumbled, catching myself on a nearby table as my legs gave way and I tumbled once again to the floor. I wondered how much time had passed. Part of me wished Assef was collecting me instead of Javid. I didn't fancy Ahtrai's chances against a sixteen-year-old rapist.

Ahtrai leaned down so she could whisper in my ear. ''We're in an empty classroom, Saria,'' she hissed menacingly. ''What's stopping me from beating you to a bloody pulp, hmm?''

''I ask myself that same question about you,'' I retorted, fighting the childish urge to stick my tongue out.

This was now full scale fights or flight situation. There was no way I was going to let her get away with treating me like this! No way in high hell! I shoved her backwards, causing her to stumble, lose her footing. "Bitch," I heard Ahtrai mutter, just loud enough for me to hear. I set my jaw and glared at her. On the Mullah's table, directly behind me, rested a small white ceramic figure. Just large enough for me to pick up and strike her with.

I quickly grabbed hold of it. Ahtrai didn't even have time to blink as I let out an animalistic scream and lunged for her. Ahtrai struggled like an animal in a trap as I pinned her down, pressing one foot on her chest. I bounced the figure up and down in my hand, not saying a word.

She continued to beat and claw at my legs. "You have two options here, Ahtrai," I said in a sugar sweet voice. "Option A, we both forget this ever happened, and you promise not to tell anyone." In response to this, she hissed like a feral cat. I just smiled down at her, knowing that whatever happened, I would remain in total control of this situation. "Or... Option B," I leaned down so I was nose to nose with the thirteen-year-old brat. "I smash your skull in with this until you become so disfigured you no longer resemble a human being. It's your choice, Ahtrai." I gave her the same smile I gave many of my victims.

"I'm not afraid of you, Saria," she said. "I know you wouldn't do it. You're just trying to scare me."

"Not scared of me?" I asked in false incredulousness. "Oh, now I have to rectify that, don't I?" I raised the ceramic figure high over my head and swung it down at her. She screamed as I barely missed her face. "Think I'm playing now?" I asked. She shook her head frantically.

"No, I mean, yes, I mean noo…" she moaned.

I let her up. "Why don't you do yourself a big favor, Ahtrai and just fuck off out of my sight?" I snarled. She just looked at me, completely dumfounded that I would even have the audacity to treat her in this manner.

After all, I was so quiet and sweet. She must have seen me as a pretty easy target, so pathetic and weak. Well, that illusion had well and truly been shattered for her. I swung the figure at her again. She jumped. "Ha, made you flinch!" I teased. For one long moment Ahtrai and I just stared at reach other. Maybe now she would have the common sense not to bother me anymore. I could smell the fear radiating from her, like a shark smells blood in the water. "It seems you've learned a very important lesson from me today, Ahtrai, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?" She nodded hurriedly.

"Go on home, you little whore but just remember, next time, I won't be as merciful." I swung the figure at her for a third time. She quickly backed up and almost fell over herself in her haste to get away. Once she was gone, I sighed heavily, placing my hands into my hands. This was turning out to be a fairly shitty day for me. God forbid I just get some fucking peace! I replaced the figure back on the desk and straightened the tables so the classroom looked exactly as it had done before. The black rain clouds that now covered the sky thundered ominously.

The weather seemed to change as often as my moods these past few days. I straightened my blonde plaits, grabbed my bag and blue coat, and stormed out the door. A somber silence greeted me as I walked through the now-empty hallway. The other girls must have gone home, fortunately for me. I don't think that I could handle being teased again. 'What the _fuck_ gives Ahtrai the right to treat me in that way?' I bent over and placed my hands on my knees, sighing deeply. Up ahead, Adia was waiting for me. Her father would be dropping me home today.

I walked up to her and cracked her across the face, sending her sailing to the ground like a ton of bricks. Her books went flying and she scrambled about like a blind man trying to pick them up. This caused me great satisfaction. To see someone suffering in the same way that I had suffered. "Come on, you little cunt," I offered her my hand. "Get me home fast." I pushed past her and out to the car. Javid gave me a broad smile as I approached. I smiled back, waving.

"Hello, sweetheart," Javid greeted as I got into the car.

"And hello to you too," I said in a sugar sweet voice. Adia climbed in beside us and we set off. I ignored what Javid was saying and rested my chin on my hand, staring out the window. All I wanted right now was to get home and sulk.

"Saria… Saria…" Adia poked me in the side. Damn, her nails were fucking _sharp._

I turned, and, forcing a smile, asked, "What is it, dear?"

"Would you like to come to tea at ours?" Javid asked. "Your parents are away and we were wondering if you wanted to play with Adia."

"I just want to go home." I said. Realizing that this must seem a bit rude, I quickly added, "I have a lot of homework to do, and I'm very tired. It's been a long day." That it certainly had.

"Alright, dear. I bet you've got a lot of work too, Adia," he teased his daughter.

"Yes, Papa," she grinned back. Ten minutes later, we reached the large white compound I called home. I smiled my thanks to Javid, grabbed my bags and ran to the door. Using the key that Mama had given me when I was eight; I burst in and flung my bag into a heap in the corner. There was a resounding crash as it hit the wall.

"Stupid FUCKING THING!" I screamed. Assef heard the commotion and came out of the living room.

"Afternoon, kiddo, I thought I heard your voice," he joked. "You're bleeding!" he exclaimed, taking in my injured nose and lip.

"Afternoon, Assef," I said, hugging him around the waist. My tone showed the genuine love and caring I felt for my brother. "I just wanna go up to my room and cry, alright? I'll speak to you later. Don't worry too much about the blood." I made to go up the stairs.

Assef grabbed hold of my arm. "Wait, wait, wait…" he said, turning me around to face him. He squatted down so we were on a level. "What happened, Saria?" Tears of anger and frustration welled up in my eyes as I debated telling my brother about the events of my horrible afternoon.

Assef held my arms firmly. "What in the world is wrong, sister? Did someone do something to you?" His eyes took on that dangerous glaze. "Is there someone bullying you? Tell me who did this to you."

"Ahtrai," I spat her name like it was some sort of swear word. "Ahtrai, that little cow!" Assef sat down on the bottom steps and gently pulled me onto his lap.

"You want to tell me about it?" he asked. I suddenly launched into a tangent…

"I wanted to go home, Assef, I was just getting ready to leave. That was _all_ I was doing! I have half a mind to slit her fucking throat!" I stomped my feet in frustration. "That little whore, how fucking dare she.. I'm going to fucking kill her, I'll fucking cut her right the fuck open!"

"Slow down, dear, you're going a mile a minute… Shh, come on, start from the beginning," Assef said.

I sighed. "I was packing my bag, right? And the little cow pushed me! And hits me with my fucking Rumi book, right in the goddamn face! Tears of frustration filled my eyes. Wiping them away, I continued my sorry tale. "And then, _then_ … she has the _audacity_ to call me a bitch!" I placed my head in my hands on my head and sighed deeply.

"I just lost control of myself, Assef. I swung the Mullah's ceramic figure at her."

"Did you hit her?" Assef asked.

I shook my head. "No, but I threatened to. Now I wish I had. I should have smashed her fucking face right in!" I stomped my feet into the ground. "What did I do to deserve this fucking _shit_ , what's her _problem_!"

Assef held me tightly. "Some people are just idiots, Saria, that's all. I'm sure you taught her a very valuable lesson, however."

I smirked at this. "She'll leave me alone now, I'm sure of it, at least she'd better or I'll break her fucking neck!" I stood up and wiped my eyes. "''I just want some fucking peace and _quiet._ Just to be left alone. Not beaten to a bloody pulp by some little smart ass freak. Who does she think she is, anyway?'' I retorted.

''She just moved in last week and already she's singled me out as her target! Why? What did I do?'' My temper was slowly rising to the surface again. ''I mean, besides crash into her but _surely_ she would have gotten over it by _now_!'' My already thin shred of patience was slowly whittling away down on to nothing. I wanted answers to my questions, goddamn it! ''ARGHH!'' I shouted suddenly, kicking the banister hard.

All that did was give me a sore foot. I hissed and hopped up and down, rubbing it. My head ached, my nose ached and now my foot ached. What a great fucking day to be me! ''Come on now, kiddo, you don't want a broken toe on top of all the other injuries you've already sustained.'' Assef stood up and brushed a lock of hair behind my ear in a loving and gentle gesture.

''Let's get you a tissue for that nose, eh? You're lucky it just seems to be a scratch, I don't think she's broken anything. Although...'' he trailed off. ''You did say you hit your head off a desk, right?'' I nodded slowly. ''I don't know if I should take you to get that checked out or not, kiddo. I'm just worried you could have concussion. Just... turn around for me one moment, please.''

I willingly obliged and Assef inspected the back of my head for any cuts or bumps. ''Nothing I can see here, now do you feel okay? Not sick or anything?'' I shook my head.

''Just incredibly pissed off, Assef but I feel fine other than that.'' I gave him a warm and genuine smile. He returned the gesture, placing his hand on my hair and ruffling the blonde plaits.

''You look like Rhoda from that American movie. You know the one that Mother's family in Germany told her about. The one she watched the last time she went over. What's that called again? The Bad Seed, that's it.''

With our riches and Papa's airline business, it was easy as pie for Mama to make those trips to Germany to visit the family she had left behind upon moving to Afghanistan to marry our father. We were practically pissing change, after all. Mama had stopped her yearly trips when Assef was born, however, stating that she wanted to devote all her time to being a good mother.

That she couldn't bear the thought of going half way around the world and leaving her family behind. A good mother, HA! That's a laugh! She wasn't even here today to comfort her little girl who had just been beaten and tormented. Who knew where the bitch was, but it certainly was not where she should have been. As usual, it was up to Assef to care for me today as he had done so many other days like this. I neither knew nor cared where our parents went today. All the better for us to have the house to ourselves!

''What'cha thinking' bout, sport?'' Assef asked, tapping me on the nose. I giggled like the innocent child I was so often perceived to be. ''Oh, nothing of importance. Just how happy I am to get to spend time alone with you. I really like it when we get to spend time together. It's just the best.''

''Such a sweet thing to say, kiddo,'' Assef said. ''I take it you're in better form, then?''

''I'm not too sure,'' I admitted truthfully as we made our way into the kitchen where Hamilra had poured out two piping hot bowls of lentil soup. ''I'm just going to take everything one moment at a time. That's how I'm going to get through today. One step at a time.'' I nodded in self-satisfaction as I began to eat.

''Oh and Mother wants you to an hour of school work.''

I pouted childishly. ''Oh, I hate schoolwork!'' I lamented. ''Why do I have to do it?''

''Well, you don't want your Mullah's to get mad at you, hmm? You don't need a reputation for being naughty, do you?''

''Me, _naughty_?'' I pointed to myself in faux-shock. ''Goodness, Assef, do you know your baby sister at all?''

Assef laughed. ''Don't be cheeky,'' he said, pretending to be cross. I laughed loudly and hugged him. ''You know, if it were up to me you'd be allowed do your homework whenever you pleased. Can't be helped though. Get at least an hour's work done and I'll take you for a 'just because.' We need to catch up on them, don't we? How many have we had this year? It's only been two, right?''

''Third time's a charm,'' I quipped.

''Right, and I'll even let you pick out our lucky third victim,'' Assef said. I whooped loudly, clapping my hands in elation. My teeth clacked against the soup as I ate it in a hurry.

''This tastes like dog shit,'' I lamented, stirring the watery liquid. ''Not that I'd know what dog shit tastes like but I imagine it's pretty damn close.''

''Well don't eat it if it doesn't taste right,'' Assef said. ''I don't want you getting food poisoning.'' He took both half-empty bowls and poured them down the sink. Bits of food swirled around in the plug hole as he cleaned both our bowls and placed them neatly back into the cupboard.

''Bit of hashish would have made that better, I bet,'' I noted.

''You shouldn't be taking hashish, kiddo. You're insane enough as it is. You _are_ a murderer after all.''

''And you're a rapist,'' I teased back.

''Murderer.''

''Rapist.'' We both smiled at each other. Who knew that two monsters could love like this? The fact that we could joke about such serious topics was testament to the dark and evil psyches Assef and I both shared.

I jumped down from the table and skipped off to where my bag lay forgotten in the hall. I swung the bag up onto my shoulder. ''I'll be down in an hour.'' I shouted as I began making my way up the stairs. ''Call if you need anything,'' Assef called after me. I gave him a quick wave before trudging the rest of the way up to my room. I opened the door and stepped inside. My desk stood waiting for me with pencils all lined up in a straight line. Study. Just another tedious task I had to contend with. Would it be too much to ask for a break?

I pulled out my Math book and began pouring over fractions. Normally, I'd find these things easy as piss, but now, my mind was anywhere but where it should have been. Thoughts of what I would like to do to Ahtrai danced around in my brain. The pain and humiliation I had experienced while I crawled like a dog on my knees was eating away at the short fuse that was my temper.

Why, why was she bullying me? Why did it have to be me that she singled out? Why not one of the other girls? She almost made me feel fearful of going to school now, thinking about what she would do next. ''Why are you scared, Saria?'' I asked myself. "Look at what happened to Zainab when she crossed you. To Adia. To Hassan. You don't have to be afriad of _anyone!"_ I slammed the palms of my hands against the desk in emphasis as I snarled the words out.

If I could kill Zainab and get away with it, surely I could do the same to Ahtrai. I'd put enough holes in her she'd resemble a piece of Swiss cheese more than she would a human being. I placed my head down on the desk and let my mind wander for a few moments with thoughts of Zainab and her murder. I came to the sudden realization that no matter what she did to me, I could not murder Ahtrai as I had done Zainab. If I did, then surely all eyes would turn on me considering the beating I had doled out to her in front of the other children last week.

Now, don't get me wrong, I was pissed and I did _hate_ the girl, but I also had to think of the consequences I would face should she fall victim to my wrath. I would take solace in the fact that she now must be as terrified of me as my other enemies always were. And even if I couldn't really murder Ahtrai, I could always imagine it, right? Imagination was such a wonderful thing. My mind was already filled with beautiful fantasies. Ahtrai, tied up, chafed rope cutting deep into her wrists and ankles, her eyes gouged out of her head, her mouth sliced clean off, a gaping mess of bloodied flesh. I could practically hear her distorted screams as I sliced her face down to the very bone.

If I could, I would slice and dice away at her until only her skeleton would remain. Oh, to be able to bring my diabolical plans to fruition! Believe me, if I could, I would march over to her house and do all these things and more. If I could, but alas, I cannot, fortunately for her. The minutes seemed to tick by endlessly as I sat up and worked diligently at my algebra fractions.

Once the hour elapsed, I threw the book in a heap on the floor. I decided it was time for a change of clothes and pulled on a ruffled beige dress, with large collar. The outfit was nothing short of ridiculous, but I always tried to dress as innocently as possible when going on a 'just-because'. More innocent than normal, I mean. Closing my bedroom door behind me, I bounded down the stairs to meet my brother. He smirked at the sight of me as I ambled towards him. ''Nice... Dress..'' He trailed off, stifling a laugh. I fixed him with the same glare I had bestowed upon Adia many a time.

''Shut up,'' I scolded playfully, smacking him on the arm.

''Homework done, kiddo?'' Assef asked. I nodded, pinching the sides of my dress shyly.

''Yup. All done. Can we go?'' I was bouncing on my heels in excitement.

''Alright. Give me a moment.'' He zipped up his blue jacket- the same one he wore during the Kite Fighting Tournament- and smiled. ''Come on, then.''

In my haste to get out, I almost missed the second last step on the stairs. My heart jolted. I placed a hand on my chest. ''Fucking hell,'' I swore under my breath.

''You okay, Saria?'' Assef asked. I nodded.

''Alright, just be careful, okay? I know it's exciting and everything, but there's no need to injure yourself.'' I giggled. We both left the house. ''I took a key so we could get back in.'' Assef said, locking the front door behind him. ''Doubt Hamilra would hear the door, that dumb donkey is deaf.''

He slung an arm around my shoulder and drew me in close. ''I may have a little... surprise for you. Make sure you pick the right victim. You're going to _love_ this, I promise.''

''Are you gonna rape someone again?'' I asked.

''Nope. Not today.'' We had walked into the centre of town, where merchants were setting up their stalls for another busy days work. The cool air circulated from overhead.

As we walked, I suddenly caught a glimpse of a familiar figure. Could it be? He wore a light blue shirt and American jeans. His hair was plastered to his face with sweat, and, most noticeably of all, his right ear was missing. I squealed in delight. ''It's Farsef!''

''Oh, why, yes, it is. Well spotted, sport. You want to have a bit of fun with him?'' Assef raised his eyebrows. I shook my head.

''Nope,'' I said, popping the 'p'. ''He's not victim material. Although, I would like to say hi. Is that okay?''

''Of course, dear,'' Assef said, smiling. We strolled causally over to where Farsef was. I tapped him in the shoulder. He turned around slowly, his eyes widening in pure terror as he took in the sight of his two worst nightmares.

He began to shake like an autumn leaf.. I just smirked, taking great pleasure in his discomfort. ''Saria?'' he mouthed. Let's see if the cunt tries to come onto me today.

''Hello Farsef, long time no see, hmm?'' I exclaimed loudly, waving. He shook his head. ''Cat got your tongue?'' I asked. He had no response to me as his eyes flickered from me to Assef in utter terror. We both had made a lasting impression on this boy's mind.

I rocked back and forth on my heels, watching, waiting. Assef suddenly stepped forward and spat right into Farsef's eyes. ''Youte no fun when you can't hear, you know.'' He said, signing the words as he spoke them. ''Come on, Saria, people aren't going to torment themselves.''

As we walked, I noticed a one of Ahtrai's friends watching me. The little cow herself was not with her. Surely they must be thinking about what had transpired in the classroom. I held my head high and ignored her sniggers as I walked past. ''How's your head?'' The little fucktard called in mock concern. I had to bite my lip to stop from making a smart-ass remark back at her. She was relentless though, and threw herself on me, knocking me to the ground. ''WHEN I ASK YOU A QUESTION, YOU ANSWER, BITCH!'' she screamed as we both rolled around for a bit.

My head reeled; I couldn't believe that someone would be so bold as to challenge me with Assef standing right there. Did she have a death wish or something? Assef, bless him, came to my aid as he always did. He grabbed the girl and threw her off me with such force that she was almost knocked out. She curled up on her side, moaning in pain. I got to my feet and watched Assef bend down and wrap his hands around the child's neck.

''Do not, and I repeat, do _not_ , let me see you bothering Saria again. Understood?'' She nodded and began to walk away. I looked my brother in the eye. He knew me well enough to determine the meaning behind my glance. We advance on the little bitch like wild cats circling their prey. She ran. We gave chase. We chased the girl for God only knows how long, down winding roads, through twists and turns. My laughter echoed through the silence as I ran.

The chase was half the fun of a just because. As we neared the barracks where I had last seen my beloved Amir, Assef held out his hand to stop me from running any farther. He grabbed the girl by the back of her collar, eliciting a loud scream from her. "SHUT UP!'' my brother growled out angrily. Now, normally we would tease our victim, but I think both of us were so angry, we just wanted to get the beating over and done with. We wanted revenge; we wanted to bust her skull in. The girl was now struggling like an animal caught in a trap. Assef reached into the back pocket of his jeans, pulling out his brass knuckles. Instead of putting them on, as I had expected, he handed them out to me.

''Go on, kiddo. Surprise.'' I became a little watery eyed as I held them with reverence. My brother smiled as he took my hand from me and gently slipped the brass knuckles onto it. ''Go on. I'll guide your hand.''

He pulled the girls hair back and guided my fist to her face. I had her floored with one blow. ''You're a natural at this, kiddo. Well done." Assef complimented me. I grinned at him as I continued to brutally beat the girl who had been so foolish to challenge me. She was truly in hot water as we held her down and gave her the punishment she so justly deserved.

I felt joy overcoming me as Assef and I pummeled the girl repeatedly. Fucking little whore. I punched her once again, this time dislocating her jaw. She moaned in pain. I bent down and grabbed her by the hair.

"Mmm, no, please…" she begged pathetically. I just smirked, slamming her head into the rough ground. SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM! Up and down, up and down! She was now past the point of begging and was crumpled in a pathetic ball of torn clothes and blood.

I knew I had to have done some serious damage. "Oh, if only you had left us alone, this wouldn't have happened, dear," Assef said in a patronizing tone of voice, aiming a well-placed kick to the girl's stomach.

I yanked her hair back and struck her again. I got on my knees and leaned over her. "Remember, you little whore, this will seem like nothing compared to what we will do to you if you tell."

We left her in a pool of her own blood. Assef took his brass knuckles from me, wiped them clean and put them back in his pocket. He ruffled my hair and held me at arms length. "I'm proud of you, kiddo. I really am."

"Thank you," I said. "I'm proud of myself too."

"Well, you should be." He kissed me on the head and smiled warmly.

I was genuinely elated as I thought of the crumpled mess that I had left behind me. She'd probably have to go for surgery to fix her jaw, and with any luck, she'd be disfigured, just like Masood. I knew I had made a lasting impression on her.

Let this be a lesson to all those who dare to cross Saria Ahmed.


	16. Secrets and Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In chapter 15, Saria once again found herself at loggerheads with Ahtrai. Later, she and Assef went on a just because where Saria violently beat another girl in her class to the point of unconciousness.. Now we find her in the classroom as her fellow classmates learn just how much damage she caused to the girl...

There was a profound silence in the classroom. You could hear a pin drop. Mullah Fahsir Khan paced up and down, his hands behind his back like a security guard. His brow crinkled in worry. Each child in the room sat bolt upright, eyes straight ahead. The clock ticked endlessly on the wall behind me, making the seconds drag on.

Mullah Fahsir Khan opened his mouth as though he was about to say something, but decided against it. He looked at us all, making me feel extremely awkward. I could feel myself start to sweat in my cream dress as his eyes bore into mine. It truly felt as though he could see into my very soul. The other girls must have felt the same, because I noticed them shifting uncomfortably.

''I don't want to hear a word,'' Mullah Fahsir Khan said finally. ''Not one word. Not one sound. Is that clear? This is a very serious matter and I want your full attention. Do you all understand?"

''Yes,'' we all chorused, sitting up straight, backs rigid like pre-programmed robots. I glanced over at Ahtrai, who was glaring at me in total contempt. I ignored her, focusing my attention back on the Mullah. He looked around at all of us, worry etched upon his features. When he spoke, it took him a while to get the words out.

''Somebody... Somebody hurt Ara last Tuesday. She was beaten by somebody and left for dead.'' I tensed immediately. How did he know about that? What more did he know? Of course, I did not let any of these fears be shown on my face. I kept staring straight ahead, my eyes locked on the Mullah's. I pretended to be as shocked by the news as any of the other girls.

''A local merchant found her by the barracks late in the evening, and rushed her into the hospital.'' He pinched the bridge of his nose, gathering his thoughts. We all looked on in shock. False shock, in my case. ''She's very, very lucky to have survived. The poor child suffered severe trauma to her head, and was left blind in both eyes. Doctors don't know if she will ever be able to recover. She's also been left needing plastic surgery on her face to repair the damage.''

He became a little misty eyed as he struggled to continue. ''What kind of sick bastard would do this to a child?'' he snarled suddenly. ''What kind of _monster_ would beat a little girl so badly she ended up _blind_?'' I had to refrain from cracking a smirk as I listened to his rant. He was such a sensitive soul, after all, the dumb fuck. ''I want each one of you precious girls to take care of yourselves this weekend. You must all understand that there are people out there who will hurt you the way they hurt our Ara. Some people are just pure evil, and can do things like this without a single feeling of remorse.''

Pure evil? I'm not pure evil, am I? Yes, I may have caused this child to be blinded but who's fault was that? She was the one who threatened me, the one who tried to pick a fight with me. Can I help it if I'm a more skilled fighter than her? No I can't and besides, the little whore deserved everything she got. Blindness was nothing compared to what I could have done to her, to what I would have liked to do to her. I could just as easily have ripped her fucking liver out and made her eat it. Gouged out her eyes and shoved them up her rectum. Burned her face off with my precious lighter.

The possibilities were endless. No, I think being blinded was a lucky escape for her, don't you? After all, this is Zainab's killer we're talking about here. Ara should consider herself very fortunate indeed. Mullah Fahsir Khan wiped his eyes with the heels of his hands. Tears ran down his large face, and, looking around me, I noticed that a lot of the girls were crying hard as well. I must have made a huge impact on them, HA! One girl of about nine buried her face in her arms and let out a loud wail. ''Oh, poor _Ara!_ '' she sobbed, clearly in a lot of despair for her poor injured friend.

'Fuck with me and you pay the price,' I thought. I kept my eyes downcast, certain that if I looked at any more sobbing children I would surely bust my ass laughing. Ahtrai had her arms wrapped around two of her friends, and the three of them were crying loudly. You'd think someone had been fucking murdered, the way they were carrying on! It was truly pathetic! Mullah Fahsir Khan's shoulders shook, as he tried to find the right words to say to comfort us all.

''I don't... I... I just don't know what to say. This must be taking a huge toll on all of you. Ara is one of the kindest people on God's Earth, and to have this happen to her... It's just... disgusting.. Absolutely disgusting.'' He wiped his eyes again. He'd wipe them clean out if his head if he wasn't careful. How funny would that be? ''Girls, I... I don't need to tell you how hard things will be for Ara from now on. I ask that you all take the time to be there for her and to visit her in the hospital over the weekend. I'm sure she would appreciate your help and support in this turbulent time.''

The bell rang for the end of classes. At long fucking last! This time, however, there was no scrambling, no noisy chairs being pushed back, no pointless chatter as we packed our bags. The girls were still in total shock over the news they had just received. ''Remember, keep Ara in your thoughts and prayers,'' the Mullah said as a parting afterthought. Slowly, they began to file out of the classroom, one by one. Soon it was only Ahtrai and myself left.

She narrowed her eyes into slits as she passed me by. ''I bet you did it...'' she hissed.

I cocked my head to the side in confusion. ''What did I do, dear?''

''Attacked Ara. I bet it was you. And if I ever prove it, I'll make sure you get the punishment you deserve.'' Tears streamed down her ugly face. I stood up and made my way past her into the hall. I did not even bother to respond to her, and why would I? There was no way in high hell she could ever prove that I had _anything_ to do with Ara's attack! After all, who would ever suspect sweet, benevolent Saria of doing anything wrong? All of Kabul would stand behind me in total support.

I took solace in this fact as I exited the classroom. The clear sky and heat that awaited me outside would be a welcome change from the stuffy classroom I had just spent the week in. Now it was Friday! At long fucking last, the weekend had arrived! Two whole days for me to relax, without the shit of schoolwork and bitches like Ahtrai. The girls walked in groups of two or three down the hall.

They gossiped among themselves, probably about Ara and her little ''accident,'' I could only hope that I would not become the target of any suspicions. Ahtrai seemed pretty damn sure that I had done it. As I walked, I noticed one eight year old staring at me. She held her books close to her chest and just watched as I passed by her. My heart began pounding in my chest. 'Saria, calm down, she doesn't know... She didn't see _anything_!' I told myself repeatedly as I inched by her. She gulped. I began to step closer to her, a perpetual smile of innocence plastered on my face.

''Is there something wrong, dear?'' I asked. She attempted to side-step me. I grabbed her arm. I wanted to cause some terror for the fuck of it. In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have done that. My impulses often can't be controlled though. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

''Please don't hurt me, Saria...'' she begged.

''Of course not. You just remember to toe the line, sweetheart. Okay?'' The sweet little child nodded her head like it was on a spring. She reminded me of Adia. Perhaps I could manipulate her too. I always wanted to find ways to manipulate others to my will. We both walked out the door together in total silence.

''What's your name?'' I asked.

She seemed almost hesitant to answer. ''Delbar,'' she mumbled. She shook in fear of me. I smirked; I had made a serious impression on this girl's mind.

''That's a pretty name, isn't it?'' I asked sweetly.

She didn't respond. The sky was clear, and the sun shone down on us, making the godforsaken cotton disaster I had chosen to wear extremely uncomfortable. Delbar was silent as we walked, her grey eyes flickering back and forth. I almost wanted to cut her throat for the sheer hell of it! The thought of her choking on her own blood was so erotic! Fortunately for her, we both had to turn our separate ways in order to go home.

''Have a nice weekend, Delbar. I'll see you in school on Monday!'' I called after her as she scurried away. 'Yeah, you better run, bitch!' I thought, watching her little rucksack bounce on her back, her hair flying about her face. No, before you ask, I had no intentions of attacking or beating this girl, why would I? She had done nothing to me! I just wanted someone else I could manipulate and control. Somebody I could use to my advantage and dispose of once I was done.

I could tell that Delbar would be going to be someone I would need to keep a _very_ close eye on. The busy streets were full of hustle and bustle as men, women and children went about their daily business. I straightened my hair, brushed down the front of my dress, and began skipping. Just another childish mannerism I'd managed to perfect. Women simpered as I passed them, cooing to their husbands about how precious I was, how much they wished _their_ daughters could be like me. I had to smile to myself at the ease of the role I was undertaking.

Sweet and innocent little Saria. A role I had managed to perfect as a young child. The cool air ruminated around me as I walked. I shivered and wrapped my tiny arms around my chest, fiddling with the buttons of my blue duffel coat. The beige tights I wore did little to stop the frigid cold on my legs. It took all of twenty minutes for me to walk home from school.

As I approached the gate, I immediately took notice of the fact the car was missing again. Obviously Mama and Papa were out, since Papa had taken holidays from work these past three weeks. ''Fucking hell, couldn't they wait for me? Assef better be home!'' I grumbled as I trudged up to the house. I knocked a few times on the door, and after a few minutes impatient waiting, Hamilra unlatched the lock and pulled back the door to let me in. She bowed her head as I passed by without even a thank you. The Hazara bitch didn't deserve to be in my presence!

''Good afternoon, Saria khanom, I hope your day was pleasant,'' she said in a timid voice. I didn't acknowledge her and continued on towards the kitchen. Assef had obviously just got in seconds before me, because he was just putting his bag down. He smiled widely when he saw me, opening his arms for me to run into. I pressed my face up against his chest.

''Hey, kiddo, welcome home. Did you have a good day at school?''

I nodded vigorously. ''Come on into the living room with me and I'll tell you all about it.'' I half dragged my brother over to the couch and sat down on his knee.

''You know that girl we beat on our last 'just because?''' I asked.

''The dumb cow who thought it would be a good idea to attack you right in front of me?'' Assef asked. I played absent-mindedly with the buttons on his shirt.

''Yes. Mullah Fahsir Khan lectured us all about it today.'' Upon hearing those words, my brother immediately became concerned for me.

''He doesn't know it was _you_ , does he?''

''No, of course not. I acted as shocked as those other girls. Assef, listen to me. She's blind. The bitch is _blind_! I knew we did damage to her, I fucking _knew_ it!'' I let out a loud whoop of delight and bounced on Assef's knees.

''Wow, kiddo, wow, I am so proud of you. You know that?'' I could hear the laughter in his voice. "Blind.. I mean.. my God, fucking brilliant!"

I kissed his cheek. ''I couldn't have done it without you.'' I smiled warmly. He ruffled my hair and set me back on my feet. I rocked back and forth on my heels, giggling like a maniac. How I loved when I could cause pain to others.

''Do you have homework, kiddo?'' Assef asked.

''No,'' I shook my head. ''Mullah never gave us any. Guess he was too shaken up over Ara. That's her name, by the way. He cried when he told us!'' I doubled over in hysterics. ''He broke down in tears.'' Assef grinned at me.

''Assef, I'm going to take a bath, I'm sweating like a pig here, these dresses are going to be the _death_ of me!''

''Alright, Saria, you go and look after yourself, but don't go into my room, okay? Do you promise?''

''Ah, okay, yeah, I promise,'' I said. I walked out of the room and bounded up the stairs.

As I disrobed, I felt a shiver run up my naked body. I filled the bath with warm, bubbling water. Dipping my toe in, I sighed in content as I climbed into the bath. I rested my head against the taps and just let the warm water envelop my every pore. Outside, I could hear Assef thumping around in his room. Why was he so on edge? He'd never had a problem with me going in his room before, why now? The dimmed bathroom light bathed me in serenity as I relaxed.

This was the kind of bliss I rarely got to experience in my hectic life. It seemed there was always some sort of problem for me to come up against. Whether it be Ahtrai and her teasing, or little bitches like Ara not knowing their place, my life seemed to be getting tougher by the minute. I just seemed to be a good target for teasing in the eyes of Ahtrai and her friends. I hoped that none of them would have the audacity to challenge me again, but what chance was there of that?

''Stupid Ara, you knew what I was capable of,'' I murmured in frustration. It was her own fault she's in this situation now. The water began to heat my small frame from top to toe. I shut my eyes and let the worries of the day just float away. ''You're in charge, Saria. Remember that,'' I repeated this relaxing mantra as I washed.

The sound of Assef's footsteps stomping across the hall made it fucking hard for me to bathe in peace. ''Assef, what are you doing?'' I lamented loudly, punching the edge of the bath in frustration. I heard his bedroom door slam and there was silence. I climbed out of the bath and wrapped a fluffy white towel around my tiny frame. I patted my self dry and made my way into my room. ''Now, which abomination do I put on?'' I pondered as I sifted through my dresses and pinafores. I pulled out a green plaid pinafore with a large collar that reached my knees.

It would have to do, I suppose. After slipping it on, I lay down on my bed, attempting to learn those _Rumi_ poems from Mullah Fahsir Khan. We often had a poetry competition, and I was hoping I'd win the next time. Studying, however, is very difficult when one's brother keeps making a ruckus in his bedroom.

''FOR FUCK SAKE, ASSEF!'' I shouted in frustration. He mustn't have heard me, because that godawful racket continued. Why was he like this today? He certainly seemed to be in a bad mood about something, but what? I had to find out! I _had_ to. I opened my door a fraction of an inch and peeked out.

Assef walked briskly down the hall. As he passed, I automatically turned and pressed myself up against the wall so that he couldn't see me. My heart was in my mouth as I breathed in and out deeply. Assef's footsteps clattered down the stairs. Now was the time to make my move. I tiptoed as silent as a little mouse down the hall. Being secretive is one of my many talents, after all.

I walked in socked feet to Assef's room and gently shut the door behind me, making sure to lock it as well. A part of me felt guilty for betraying my beloved brother's trust. For doing something that I knew would cause pain to him. No matter now. He shouldn't be so secretive. Siblings don't keep secrets from one another. Not now, not _ever_! I made sure to not make a sound as I searched for evidence. Assef's room was a total mess. Papers, bottles and books littered the floor. I almost fell flat on my ass as I tripped over a stack of papers he'd left lying around. I caught myself on the edge of the bed.

''Stupid mess!'' I cursed. Brushing my hair back from my face, I rummaged through his chest of drawers, looking for some evidence. _Any_ evidence. There was something jammed in the drawer. I tugged hard on it and almost overbalanced as a large, old scrap book came flying out at me. ''So this is what's got him so on edge!'' I thought. The scrap book looked as though it would fall apart at any second. I knelt down on the floor and began flicking through the photographs Assef had so carefully and religiously stuck inside.

It seemed to tell a story, beginning with an old sepia picture of Mama, her hand on her pregnant stomach. Above it, read the caption; I'M GOING TO BE A BIG BROTHER! Then, more pictures. Mama and a two year old Assef, smiling widely as her stomach enlarged. I continued to search through my brother's most personal possession. After a while, I came across a photo of him, and a baby boy in his arms. There were a whole series of them, Mama, Papa, Assef, the mysterious baby. The caption read MY BABY BROTHER ABDUL! Assef was grinning widely in the photographs and so was little Abdul. Pictures of them playing, giggling, laughing. Just being innocent children.

So now where was the brother I had never met? Why didn't Assef ever tell me about him? My fury at being lied to by my beloved big brother was palatable. I clenched my fists and pounded them against the floor. I glared angrily at the photographs, at the _lies._ Tears sprang to my eyes. I shook my head to clear them. ''I don't deserve to be lied to,'' I murmured to myself. ''Stupid _bastard!_ '' I had never felt this way about my brother before and I didn't like it. I kicked the edge of his bed in frustration. I angrily slammed a closed fist upon my leg, holding back the river of tears which were desperate to fall from my eyes.

There was an unmistakable sound of someone trying to open the door. I immediately tensed up as they tried three times in quick succession. My heart was in my stomach. I shook with fear. BANG! BANG! BANG!

''You'd better open this door right now, Saria Adelah Ahmed,'' came Assef's voice from the other side of the door. He sounded pissed. ''Do you hear me? Right _NOW_!'' The fury in his voice filled me with dread. It was even more terrifying than the time he had lashed out at me before Zainab's beating. I hurriedly tried to dispose of the evidence in my hand.

''I... One MINUTE!'' I retorted.

''No. Not one minute. RIGHT NOW! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? NOWWW!'' The door knob shook as he banged again. ''SARIA ADELAH AHMED! I am _warning_ you! Open this door, NOW!'' he screamed.

Slowly, I opened the door and Assef stomped inside, then slammed it shut behind him. I watched the look on his face with utter terror. He glared down at me, arms folded across his chest. I hurriedly put the scrapbook behind my back with one hand. I extend the other up to my Assef in a sheepish, ashamed gesture. I shifted from one foot to the other. Assef loomed over me. It never occured to me until just now how fucking intimidating my brother could be. I was in a state of both rage and shock as he backed me right into a corner.

''What did I tell you about going in my room, Saria Adelah?'' His voice was low and dangerous. ''Huh? What did I tell you?''

''Not to go in there,'' I said.

''And what give you the right to disobey my orders?''

I shook with rage. ''Your orders?'' I asked. ''Your _orders_?'' I jumped up and down in utter frustration. ''I am your _sister_! I am not some fucking servant you can push about! I am not Wali or Kamal!''

Assef just shook his head at me. ''You're a spoilt little brat!''

''Fuck off, Assef, I don't want to _hear_ it!''

''What did you just say to me?'' he asked. He slammed the palm of his hand on the wall above my head. I shrank away from him. 'He lied to you. He lied to you,' I thought to myself. I pushed my chest out and jutted out my jaw in utter defiance.

''Are you deaf, _brother_? I told you to FUCK OFF!'' I screamed at the top of my lungs. This was it. His lies were about to be revealed. There was no way he could ever defend this now, was there? With a cruel look marring my face, I procured the scrapbook from behind my back. ''Who's Abdul?'' I questioned with a hint of sarcasm. ''Huh? Not so high and mighty now, are you, my dear brother? Come on then, you're always so brave! Tell me who he is!''

Assef blanched. He stepped towards me, his hand outstretched. He could not hide the nervous twitch in his eyes as I dashed away from him, waving the book high over my head. I felt myself tremble with pure anger, and hatred. My brother clenched one fist, the other hand still stretched out for the book I had now taken from him. ''Give me that scrapbook, Saria. Now, please.''

I shook my head. I would _not_ let this go. The emotional pain that my brother had put me through was all too visceral to just let slide. Did he honestly think he could keep something as serious as this from me. Huh? Did he? ''No. You lied to me. You kept this from me. I thought we trusted each other. You saw me kill a person.'' I shook my head. ''You _will_ tell me who Abdul is.'' I clenched my fists by my sides. "You disgusting, _pathetic_ excuse for a brother. HOW DARE YOU PLAY ME FOR A FOOL!" I roared.

Assef struggled to find the words to say. He took a deep breath. His voice became slightly more gentle, yet I could still hear the fury that dripped off his tongue. ''Give me that scrapbook, Saria. I'm not messing around any more. You are getting on my very last nerve. Hand the fucking thing over and let this be an end to your disobedience.''

''Disobedient, am I? Well you're not getting this back, Assef. You lied to me. You lied to me all these years. So excuse me for being a bit pissed at you.''

Assef grabbed the edge of the scrap book. ''I'm not playing any more. You have no idea the trouble you're in. No idea. You'll be fucking lucky if I ever speak to you again. How _dare_ you go through my things without permission? How dare you?'' He tugged on the book. I tugged back just as viciously.

''You lied to me!'' I repeated again, clutching the scrapbook for dear life. ''You _lied_ to me! How dare you?'' I stomped my foot again. Assef pulled the scrapbook again, as it suddenly began to rip. Pages flew through the air and landed strewn all over the floor.

''No!'' Assef moaned, falling to his knees. He scrabbled about like a blind man trying to gather the photographs. He eventually managed to gather them into one pile and placed them on his bed.

''I'm sorry, Assef,'' I said in a timid little voice. ''I didn't mean to...'' I was cut off as he violently shoved me to the ground. I landed on my side. White hot pain enveloped me as I felt one of my ribs crack. _WHAM!_ Assef nailed me on the jaw with his closed fist. The entire room spun upside down and my being, my soul, was numb. I let out a shriek of pain and terror.

My brother had never lashed out at me before. _Never._ I lay there, stunned from the force of the blow. Honestly, I felt sick. Assef's eyes became as wide as saucers. He shook his head, as if trying to clear the memory of his violent assault on his little sister. It took me a few moments to stagger to my feet. I could feel blood pouring from the gash my brother had left on the side of my head. Assef reached out to take my hand, but I elbowed my way past him.

"Sister, please, you know I would never..." he tried to plead with me, but I pushed him over. He was not expecting my outburst, and landed flat on his ass. He clasped his hands out in front of him, as though in prayer, his eyes shining with guilt and remorse. I felt a sob burst forth from the depths of my chest and, despite my best efforts, I could not stop it.

"Leave me alone. LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed at my brother as I wrenched open the door to his room, and staggered out into the hall. I raced into my bedroom, and shut the door behind me. With a feral scream of pain, I collapsed to my knees, bowing my head onto the white carpet and sobbing uncontrollably. 'Fuck, he busted my head open!' I thought. Tears streamed down my face. Most people would expect to be hit if their brother was a psychopath, but this was a huge shock to me. I never knew Assef had it in him to be so vicious towards me, to his Saria. The only person in the world he claimed to love.

As I sobbed on the floor, I barely noticed Assef open the door and come into the room. His breath hitched as he approached me. Whipping around, I gulped in fear, and scurried away, pressing my body up against a wall. Tears fell liberally from my eyes. Well, could you blame me for acting this way? Assef had the most remorseful, heartbroken look on his face. It was as if somebody had ripped his heart out and stamped upon it. He made his way over to me, and knelt down. His blue eyes surveyed the gash on my forehead.

"Come here, Saria. Please." He tentatively placed a hand on my shoulder. He tilted his head back and exhaled deeply. My lip quivered. Perhaps I was afraid my brother would lash out again, or maybe I just needed the comfort, but, against my better judgement, I crawled into Assef's open arms. Pulling a handkerchief from his pocket, he began to clean up the wound from my head. I winced as he applied pressure to the gash. "Oh God.." Assef murmured, devastated by what he had done.

He gently wiped the blood off my face. "I'm so sorry I punched you, kiddo. I was just so angry when I found out you were in my room without permission." Assef gently kissed my forehead. "You needed to believe me, little sister, I will _never_ lash out at you like that again. Never." He placed a hand on my back and rubbed circles into it. He lifted my chin and looked deep into my eyes. "Please forgive me, Saria."

"I-I just got so mad because you lied to me. Siblings don't keep secrets from one another," I stuttered.

Assef pressed the cloth against my head, and winced empathically at the blood left on the handkerchief. "Look at what I did to you, my sister." His voice broke on the last word. "I love you, kiddo. You know that, don't you?" I glanced up at him. The look in his eyes told me he was telling the absolute truth. I would believe my beloved brother on anything. I trusted Assef and I knew that he would never hit me again. We had each other, we were a team, a family.

"I'm sorry that I went through your things without asking, Assef and I'm sorry I messed up your s-scrapbook, and I'm sorry I pestered you for answers," I sobbed uncontrollably, barely able to get the words out.

Assef shushed me, rubbing my back and stroking my hair. "Don't make excuses for me, sister. I hit you. I _hurt_ you. No matter what you did, nothing justifies that. Nothing. I had no right to hurt you. Not you, not my sister. Besides," he choked out a half-laugh, half-sob. "You were right. You have every right to know who Abdul was and I was wrong to keep it from you. You're old enough now to be told." He picked me up off the floor and carried me over to the bed. I sat down on his knee.

"Yes, you did have another brother. He was born when I was about one or two. I don't remember, actually. It was that long ago." Assef gently brushed a lock of blonde hair behind my ear. "His name was Abdul and I loved that little boy. More so than I ever loved Mother or Father. Well, you know how they are; they just left us alone with Haliram so much. It really got on my fucking nerves."

"Who's Haliram?" I asked.

"Sorry, you wouldn't have met her. She's Hamilra's mother. Got fired before you were born. I hope she fucking dies!" Assef squeezed my hand. "Haliram always left the fucking back door unlocked, which, as you can imagine, I had no complaints about as a child! Abdul and I used to play by the pool all day long, and then." I tensed, already seeing where this story was going.

"I was four when Abdul… when he… We were playing hide and seek, Saria. Just playing! I hid behind a potted plant, and I could see him running to find me, laughing his little head of, he was. I… he was only two, he couldn't walk properly yet. He slipped and fell in the pool. There was so much blood, kiddo, you can't even imagine." I began crying for my poor lost brother.

"Oh, God," I lamented.

"Saria, Abdul died in the hospital four hours later. I was there when they told our parents. I thought Mother was going to keel over and die right in front of me. She just screamed, screamed like the whole world had been destroyed. I could tell she blamed me for it. That I should have taken better care of him. I wasn't being a responsible big brother."

"You're a great brother," I said and in my heart I knew my words were true.

"After I fucking beat you…" he lamented. I placed my head against his chest.

"Water under the bridge," I repeated Assef's mantra.

"I kept that scrapbook because, well, because.. Abdul was my brother. _Our_ brother. I loved him." Assef took my hands and made me look into his eyes.

"I need you to hear me, kiddo. When you were born, I… well I never felt anything like it. I loved you from the very moment Father placed you in my arms. You are the most important thing in my life, and the only person I love. Do you understand this? Abdul is just a memory for me now, a painful memory, but a memory all the same." He stroked my bruised jaw and examined the gash on my forehead once again. Despite being superficial, it was still bleeding.

"You are my best friend, kiddo. I love you. I'm so sorry for hitting you," he repeated over and over.

"I forgive you," I murmured. "I love you too. You're my best friend too. You just understand me in a way nobody else ever did, or ever will." I sniffled. "You're everything I've ever wanted to be."

"You're so sweet to say that, kiddo." Assef lifted me off his lap. "Lie down and try to sleep, or something. Okay? You need to rest."

"My side hurts. I think you cracked one of my ribs."

The entire color drained from Assef's face. His eyes widened. "Oh, Saria. Oh God, kiddo. I'm sorry. Come here and let me look." I lifted my dress. Fortunately, my ribs did not actually seem to be cracked, just badly bruised. Assef helped me into bed and stroked my hair. "Shh, you just sleep now, sister. Okay? Mother and Father are away, it's just you and me. Okay? Shh now, you need to sleep." I grabbed his hand.

"C-Can I stay with you tonight?" I asked.

"Of course, kiddo. Of course you can. You just take a nice long rest now. I love you, Saria Ahmed. I love you." Assef leaned down and gently kissed my forehead.

"Love… you… too…" I said as I closed my eyes.

No matter what happens, I loved my brother and we had each other… We would always have each other…


	17. Holiday from Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria and Assef got into a violent altercation when she snooped around in his room without permission. She soon found out that she had another brother named Abdul who unfortunately passed away before she was born.. Now, a week has passed and we find her getting ready to go on holiday to Pakistan...

''Pain in the ass, Hazara cunt. Why couldn't you fold things _properly_!'' I moaned to myself as I tossed a heap of dresses and pinafores on the floor.

They made no sound as they hit the carpet. I knelt down and began to reorganise them into neat piles. ''God forbid if she were to tidy up!'' I groaned as I placed the clothes back in my large pink suitcase. Humming some old Farsi song, I sat down at my vanity desk and began dragging a brush through my mess of hair. If only I hadn't fucked around with curling it the last night, it wouldn't be so matted. I glanced down at the pathetic green ribbons lying before me. A reminder of the purity and innocence that I was supposed to portray constantly.

Mama and Papa waited impatiently for me downstairs. Their footsteps clattered noisily against the wooden floor as they prepared for the big day ahead. I ran the brush through the ends of my hair. Splitting it into two bunches, I fastened the green ribbons on either side. I stood up and smoothed down the front of the ruffled cream disaster that I had chosen to wear today. I pinched the sides and dipped myself a low curtsy in the mirror. ''You look so pretty,'' I complimented myself. ''Who's a pretty girl, eh?'' I fixed my grimace into a warm smile, cracking my knuckles in anticipation. Every moment I had to wait seemed like an awful eternity.

I just wanted to get it over with. Today was a day that I truly dreaded. We, that is, myself, brother and parents, would be going to spend the week in Pakistan with Mama's sister, Stella, her husband, Shareem, and their seventeen year old son, Fahrsan. The last time I met my aunt, I had been six years old, but I still remembered her vividly. She was a small, bird like woman, who spat sometimes when she talked. She suffered from pain in her joints, and often had to take painkillers. Her husband was possibly the most overweight person that I had ever met.

He often referred to himself as ''the teddy bear.'' I almost had to stop myself gagging as I thought about their son. When my cousin was a baby, his mother had accidentally spilled boiling hot water on his face. Because of this, he had been left with severe third degree burns. Doctors had to make skin grafts from his thighs in order to fix it, make him look somewhat presentable. Not that it had done much good in that respect anyway. ''SARIA!'' Papa roared up the stairs. ''Saria, come on, we gotta _go!_ ''

''Fuck you, Papa, fuck you, you fucking _wanker_!'' I muttered in anger, wishing I could scream it in his ear. I angrily punched my suitcase in frustration. ''Stupid cunts!'' I berated my parents. Again, Papa roared at me to come down the stairs. ''I'm _coming_!'' I shouted back. ''Please give me one _moment!_ '' I took one last glance at myself in the mirror. I slowly closed the door behind and trudged across the landing to meet my parents. They seemed on edge as I approached them. ''I'm ready to go now.'' I called as I made my way to the top of the stairs. Both turned around to see me walking down the stairs towards them.

The suitcase clattered noisily behind me. ''Wow, uh, woah, you really dressed up for our visit, haven't you?'' Papa said, holding out his arms for the suitcase. ''Let me take that for you, darling,'' he offered.

''Why, thank you, Papa,'' I said politely. I skipped down the rest of the steps. With a perpetual smile gracing my lips, I made my way to the front door.

''Saria, wait!'' Mama called after me. I stopped. ''Your coat,'' she explained, holding the beige coat out to me. I nodded and slipped it on. My brother stood at the door, arms folded across his chest. He extended his hand to me, smiling warmly. Reaching out, I placed my tiny hand in his and exhaled in anticipation.

''Hokey kokey!'' Papa exclaimed loudly. ''Let's go, darlings!'' he hummed loudly in utter excitement as we followed him to the car. I was still holding onto Assef's hand tightly as we trudged across the gravel.

''Sit in next to your brother, Saria,'' Mama ordered. 'Where else am I going to sit, you dumb bitch?' I thought to myself. She was kind enough to open the door for me. I slid into the car and buckled myself in. Assef climbed in beside me. He leaned across the seats and gently kissed the top of my head.

''All set, kiddo?'' he asked. I nodded. ''I'm so excited!'' I giggled. I covered my hands with my mouth in a false display of delight. Mama hurriedly climbed into her seat. She seemed elated at the prospect of seeing her sister again. Who could blame her for that? If I hadn't seen Assef in years I'd miss him like hell! Such a thought didn't even deserve to be entertained in my mind!

Papa grinned as he started the engine. ''Let's go!'' He clapped once. The car roared noisily to life as we reversed out the driveway. I turned around, watching as our home faded into the distance.

''No school for a week, how does that sound, kiddo?'' Assef asked.

''It sounds absolutely wonderful, Assef.'' I beamed at him. He returned the gesture, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. No doubt he knew how tedious this week would be for me. The false smiles, the constant politeness. The thought of having to look into Fahrsan's hideous face, be _touched_ by him. It was all too much for one little girl to handle.

At least I had my beloved brother there to go through it all with me. At least I wouldn't be alone. I could be thankful for that. The journey from Kabul to Islamabad would take us approximately nine hours by car. Why in God's name we weren't flying I genuinely did not know! It was now about two o clock in the afternoon and we would be arriving in Islamabad at around eleven in the same night. With the allowance of bathroom breaks, that is.

I turned my head away and stared periodically out the window, watching the houses as we passed them by. I was quite surprised to see my bitch playing outside with some of her dolls. She didn't even notice me as she was so engrossed in her play. I tapped on the window as the car drove closer to her front garden. Adia looked up, her eyes widening in fright as she seen me. I smirked maliciously at her. She instantly leapt to her feet and raced back inside the house. The pathetic dolls lay forgotten in the grass. Adia stole one final glance at our passing car before slamming the door behind her.

I rested my chin on my hands, tracing pictures of flowers and sunshine. All lies, of course. I itched to trace something more violent and malevolent. Oh how I longed to draw out my sick fantasies with Ahtrai. To sketch her with her intestines gutted out, hanging by her brains from rafters. What would my parents say if they found their sweet Saria tracing such things on their car window? Surely they would be appalled. My fingers traced the outline of a clear flower. ''That's a pretty flower, Saria.'' Papa complimented as he looked back at me in the rear view mirror. I felt myself blush and ducked my head away in a false display of shyness.

''Thank you,'' I said.

Mama turned around to look at the both of us. ''Are you both okay? You don't need the bathroom, do you?''

''No thank you. We're both fine.'' She smiled and turned back around. We were just coming to a cross-road when Mama slammed her palms onto the glove compartment. ''Oh for goodness sake. _No_!'' she moaned.

''What is it, Mama?'' I asked in false concern.

She ignored me and rounded on my brother. ''Your blue coat, Assef! You forgot to pack it. This is what happens when I don't remind you to do these things.''

Assef rolled his eyes. ''Not a problem, Mother. I have my orange one, don't I?''

She sighed and turned back around. ''Assef, don't forget anything when we're with your cousin. It's going to look bad.''

''Cunt,'' Assef mouthed at me. I giggled under my palm. The rest of the hours passed by in total silence. I doubt that any of us were in the mood to speak to each other. The tension that always existed when our parents were with their son was palatable. It was now about half past nine at night.

Where did those hours go? The sky was now dark with stars illuminating our drive. I rubbed my eyes with my fists. ''You tired, sweetums?'' Papa asked.

''M-maybe a little.'' I murmured. My eyes rolled back into my head as I struggled to stay awake. Assef unbuckled his seatbelt and slid over next to me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. I yawned and shut my eyes.

''You try to sleep, kiddo and we'll be there before you know it. I'll carry you if you're asleep when we get to the house. Okay?'' I nodded and nuzzled into his chest. Assef rubbed circles into my back as my breathing grew deep and laboured. The only sounds in the car were my soft snores. Soon, I drifted off into slumber...

''We're here, kiddo. Come on.'' I only moaned in response. ''Caa, jan, up you get.'' I felt Assef's hands under my knees as he lifted me out of the car. I wrapped my arms around his neck. I weighed only about 80 pounds or so and was easy for him to carry. I could briefly hear the sound of footsteps as my aunt and cousin came down to open the door. I was in no mood to exchange pleasantries however and instantly recoiled when I felt Fahrsan's hand on my face.

''Here's our sleeping beauty,'' he said, grinning widely. ''Let me take her from you, Assef jan. Come on, pumpkin. Up to your cousin.'' I whimpered and clung tighter to Assef.

''Don't.. No.. Assef..'' I muttered.

''It's alright, kiddo. I got ya. Let me carry her, Fahrsan. Okay? She's tired and I want to get her inside before she freezes.'' Assef carried me into the house and set me down on my feet.

''Let's get you up to beddy-byes, little one,'' Stella said, as she placed her hand on my back. I grumbled at being spoke to like a two year old. She took my hand and began leading me up the stairs. The house was dimly lit. ''You'll being staying with your brother for the week. We thought you'd like that. How does that sound?''

''Perfect,'' I mumbled sleepily. Assef smiled down at me. I took his hand and looked up at him. ''My nightie...''

''In your suitcase. I'll get it out for you.'' As we reached the top step, I found myself being dragged away from my brother and lifted a few feet off the ground.

''Whaaa?'' I moaned in protest. Through my sleep-filled eyes I could vaguely make out the broad shoulders of my uncle Shareem.

''Poor little thing, she must be so tired. You should have come earlier, Mahmood.'' I struggled against my uncle as he carried me down the long hallway. I grumbled loudly. What the adults in the room saw as a sweet little girl who was overtired was actually a girl who wished she could stick a knife into her fat, jolly uncle's eyes. I didn't want his disgustingly large hands on me.

In fact, the only person I _ever_ wanted to touch me was Assef. But I don't need to say more in regards to that, do I? Shareem kicked open the door to a small bedroom. It smelled of dog feces or something like that. I almost gagged in disgust. Shareem lay me gently down on the bed. He knelt down and took off my shoes. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. ''I'll take care of her now, Kaka jan,'' Assef said, laying my long pink and white rosebud nightie out for me on the bed. He reached over and helped me unhook the clasp of my dress. Shareem reached over, running his fingers through my brother's blond hair.

"I guess we'll see you both in the morning.'' I noticed Stella give Mama a big sloppy kiss on the cheek. They both stood laughing with their arms around each other.

''Goodnight, and don't let the bedbugs bite,'' Fahrsan teased us as he shut the door behind him.

''I'm going to get changed in the bathroom. Okay, kiddo?'' I nodded sleepily.

''Kay,'' I said. The dress lay in a crumpled heap on the floor after I had changed into my nightgown. I slid into one of the two single beds and pulled the covers up over myself. Assef came back and gently clicked the light switch. The room was now shrouded in darkness.

''Goodnight, kiddo. I love you. Sweet dreams.''

''Thank you. I love you too. I'll see you in the morning.'' I reached out across the sheet and took my brother's hand. ''I'm glad y-you're here with me. We'll show Fahrsan his place,'' I mumbled.

Assef grinned. ''Yeah, we will.''

The next morning soon came and I found myself rudely awaken by my cousin. He stood in front of me, grinning like the idiot he was. ''Good morning, little one,'' he teased. ''Morning...'' I sat up, running my fingers through my hair. ''Did you sleep well?'' he asked.

God how I loathed this hideous monster. ''Yes, thank you.'' I swung myself up and out of bed. As my feet hit the floor, I flexed my toes back and forth in the fading yellow carpet.

''Come on down for breakfast,'' Fahrsan said.

''Yes, well, give me a few minutes to get dressed and I'll be right there. Promise.'' I beamed at him. Wishing I could smash his ugly fucking face right in. Fahrsan chortled, jolting out down the hall.

I pulled on a plaid pinafore and fixed my hair with a black head band, complete with large red bow. I smiled as I bounced down the stairs. The first thing I noticed about their kitchen was how considerably larger it was then ours. 'Needs to be large to fit my fat cunt of an uncle,' I thought to myself. I slapped my knees and doubled over laughing. My family turned to me.

Shareem grinned stupidly. ''Such a happy little darling,'' he laughed at my enthusiasm.

"Well, that's because I've got all week to spend time with my family,'' I lied through my teeth. Bending my knees, I extended the hem of my dress. ''It's a pleasure and blessing to be here with all of you.'' I said, clapping my hands under my chin. The foolish adults surrounding me all oohed and ahhed at my sweetness and demure demeanour. I took a seat next to my brother. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and squeezed me tight.

''Hey, kiddo, sleep well?'' I nodded.

''Yeah,'' I said. I chewed my food slowly and methodically. Stella gently brushed a lock of hair back behind my ear. 'Hands off me, _bitch_!' I thought to myself.

''How do you like your room, sweetie?'' she asked.

''It's just perfect, Khala Stella. Just _perfect_.'' I squeezed her hand tightly. ''I feel so welcome and I've only just got here.'' I quipped. Suddenly, a small German Sheppard puppy bounded into the room. He yapped delightedly and jumped into Fahrsan's open arms.

''Hello, Mr. Cuddles, who's a good boy? Who's a good _boy?_ '' he cooed in a baby voice.

''Didn't know you had a dog,'' Assef mused.

''No, he's not ours. His owner, my best friend, he's away, and his family want me to look after his puppy for a while.'' Fahrsan held the stupidly named Mr. Cuddles out to Assef. ''I'll let you pet him, Saria, but it's best if your big brother holds him. We don't want him getting frightened. Here you go, Assef.''

Assef placed the happy barking pup on his knee. ''Hello, uh, Mr. Cuddles, um, good dog,'' Assef said, trying not to laugh. He awkwardly patted the dogs head.

''Aww, I think he likes you!'' Fahrsan cooed. I had a huge smile on my face as I petted Mr. Cuddles. The puppy would be _very_ useful tool for venting both mine and my brother's frustrations. The big ball of fluff licked my cheek excitedly.

''Hehe, he _really_ likes me! Oh, he's just so _cute_! I want a doggy, Mama, Papa!'' I knelt down in front of my brother and wrapped my arm around Mr. Cuddle's neck.

''He must really, _really_ like you two,'' Shareem said happily. His delight was evident as he clasped his hands and beamed at Assef. ''Okay, Assef, give him back to Fahrsan. Fahrsan, you better feed him.''

''Yes, Father.'' Fahrsan reached over and picked Mr. Cuddles -seriously, what kind of name _is_ that? - off Assef's lap.

''Here you go, Mr. Cuddles, you can play with Assef and Saria later. You'd like that, yes? Yes, you _would_! Yes, you _would_!'' He kissed the dog's head. ''You love Assef and Saria, don't you?'' He gently let the pup down.

''What would you like to do today, guys?'' Stella asked. She placed a hand on my hair. It took all I had not to crack her across the face. I smiled as genuinely as I could.

''Well I don't know,'' I grinned.

''There's a little park just over the road from us. With a lake and an old swing set, and slide. I could take Saria over there, if she wants,'' Fahrsan offered.

I nodded. ''Can Assef come too?'' I asked.

''Of course. We'll all go together. All the cousins together.'' I grinned and bounced up and down on my seat. This elicited a laugh from everyone in the room. I was playing these fools like instruments in an orchestra. I knew how to make them dance to my tune. The atmosphere in the room was light and happy. Something I knew Assef and I would change, within a mere few hours of being alone with Fahrsan. ''When, when can we go?'' I asked.

''As soon as you wash your face, brush your teeth and get a coat on.'' My hideous cousin squeezed my shoulder. From this close proximity I could see every crinkled line of his skin grafts. They disgusted me. I leaned back and smiled at him. The monster returned the gesture.

''Go and get your coat on, kiddo,'' Assef said, placing his hand on my shoulder and ushering me out of the room. I knew he was trying to keep me as far away from Fahrsan as possible, and I was grateful to him for it.

''Okay!'' I grinned. I skipped off up the stairs, two at a time. Stepping into the room I was to share with my brother, I was overwhelmed by the smell. My eyes began watering as I shut the door behind me. I covered my mouth with my hands, and sat down on the bed. ''Digusting pigs, did the dog shit in here or what?'' I asked aloud.

The stench was horrid. I ran over to the window and fumbled with the latch. The fresh air from the wind hit my face, and I sighed in relief. ''Now that's somewhat better.'' I concluded. I hurried to my suitcase and pulled out a large black overcoat. I slipped it on and buttoned it up.

Assef walked into the room, and gagged at the stench. ''Fucking hell, kiddo, who's body did you hide in here?'' he teased.

''I think the dog took a crap in here or something. Stupid cunts should have cleaned up before we came.'' I punched the pillow in frustration.

''That dog would make good heat under a bonfire, don't you think? Or we could play with him some night before we go to bed? Help you wind down, huh, kiddo?'' Assef ruffled my hair.

''Can we kill the dog sometime?'' I asked bluntly. ''I mean, if we can get away with it.''

''Of course we'll get away with it, Saria. You know, I have a feeling that poor Mr. Cuddle's going to get into a little accident.'' My brother could hardly say the name with a straight face.

''Really? Yay!'' I bounced up and down excitedly.

''Yep, that's right. Now, come on, let's get downstairs.'' Assef took my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. We both walked down the stairs, where Fahrsan waited for us by the door. I had to stop myself from retching when he kissed my cheek. 'God I just fucking washed!' I thought to myself.

''Hold hands when you're crossing the road!'' Shareem warned. He put a hand on my shoulder and beamed down at me. Without saying a word I pushed past my uncle. I wouldn't tolerate his large beefy hands on me for _any_ reason. The air was full of tension as we made our way outside.

''There's only one road we have to cross but it's very busy, so we need to be extra careful.'' Fahrsan took my hand and began leading me down the road. He seemed so excited to be spending time with us.

It was a heartwarming experience for him. Something that I knew neither Assef nor myself would share in. Assef came up behind us and grabbed my other hand. I giggled loudly and swung back and forth between the two of them. I pulled away from Fahrsan and wrapped my arm around Assef's waist. He began speaking to me in German. ''I don't want that disgusting cunt putting his hands on you. Why can't he just leave us both alone?'' he asked.

''Don't you worry, Assef, we'll get him to leave us alone. All in due time. A pillow over the head will do the trick. Although I might need your help to hold him down.'' I teased back. Fahrsan looked on at us in confusion. Stella hadn't taught her son German the way Mama had taught us.

In all honesty, I doubt our aunt even remembered speaking German. She and Mama had both moved to Afghanistan as ten year olds. Only Mama retained her heritage and knowledge of the language. Something I was forever grateful to her for. ''What are you two talking about?'' Fahrsan asked.

''I was just agreeing with Saria on how great it is to see you again,'' Assef lied. I nodded silently, grinning. What Fahrsan saw as a smile of unbridled, innocent joy was nothing short of pure malice. We reached the end of the road and a large bus sped past us. Fahrsan pushed me back with such force that I would have fallen flat on my ass had Assef not caught my arm and steadied me.

''Be careful there, Fahrsan,'' he warned.

''Yes, yes, careful, well, that's something we all need to be crossing this road.'' He retorted back. I had to admire his bravery; being a smart ass to a murderer and rapist. Guess he just didn't know how serious we were about putting him in his place.

''But we will be careful, Fahrsan. _Promise,_ '' I said. I grabbed his hand again to reiterate my point. We crossed over without any problems. I skipped on ahead. ''You and I used to love this place as children.'' I could hear Fahrsan telling Assef. Assef just grunted in reply and rolled his eyes. ''I remember the last time you came up here. I was nine and you were eight. And our little kiddo here was only three.''

He grinned at me. I very nearly frowned at him. I wasn't ''his kiddo''. As I continuously keep saying, I didn't like anybody calling me that. That had been Assef's nickname for me since I was a fucking _baby._ He'd said it when I first clapped my hands.

''Good girl, kiddo. Mommy, look at Saria clapping.'' Of course, Mama had ignored him, but the name stuck. Hearing other people call me that really got on my last nerve.

''Everything okay, kiddo?'' Assef asked. He knew exactly what was annoying me. Sometimes we could just read each other's minds. I nodded. We walked in total silence until we reached a small bank, overlooking a lake.

There was a swing set and slide next to a large tree. Beautiful flowers spread out in a splash of colours in front of us. I dropped Assef's hand and sped off running. I laughed loudly as I stomped through the flowers towards the tree. All thoughts of the negative forgotten, I climbed to the top of the slide. ''Watch me!'' I called in childish joy, as I sat down. ''Watch me, Assef jan. WATCH ME!'' I screeched down to him.

''I'm watching, kiddo. Go on.'' I slid down onto the grass below. Fahrsan laughed in delight. This moment was something I knew he waited years to share in. To have his sweet little cousin Saria to play with. Who could blame him for that? I got to spend time with my favourite person on this Earth too.

''Come catch me, brother!'' I called, and took off into the rushes, my arms swinging wildly by my sides. Assef laughed and sped after me. I was able to outrun him (possibly because he was letting me) as I giggled in joy. Fahrsan sat by, ignored. Assef chased me around the lake. I laughed loudly.

Time passes by so fast when you're having fun with loved ones. Eventually, I allowed Assef to catch me. He picked me up in his arms and twirled me around. I took his hand led him back to the swings. ''Push me?'' I asked innocently.

''My pleasure,'' Assef gripped the edge of the swing. ''How high, kiddo?''

''Um, uh, up to the SKY!'' I shouted, spreading my arms out. ''No, the moon!'' I giggled. Yes, I was acting like a little kid but sometimes my brother brought out that side of me. Besides, I had to play innocent for Fahrsan.

''Righto, one trip to the moon coming up. One, two..'' '

''THREE!'' I screeched in joy as Assef let the swing go and I swung through the air, kicking my legs back and forth. This truly was a magical moment for me. Who could believe two people known for their violent sides could be so gentle and loving with each other? Fahrsan wrapped his arms around his torso.

''Hey, can I join in the fun?'' he asked. Assef and I both looked at each other. There would be plenty of time for us to wreak havoc on him sooner or later. All in due time. What harm was there in letting him join our fun? Pretty soon he'd be begging to get out of our game.

''Okay, Fahrsan. Come and push me!'' I called out to him. He pushed me gently, so slowly I could have died of boredom. I swung my legs back and forth in the dirt. ''Higher! HIGHER!'' I begged.

Fahrsan shook his head. ''No, sweetie. That's dangerous. Let's not do that.'' I inhaled deeply.

''Have some fun for a change, Fahrsan,'' Assef teased, grabbing the ropes. He pushed me high into the air. Fahrsan gasped.

''Assef, be _careful!_ '' he snapped.

Assef turned. ''I'm being careful. I won't let anything happen to her.''

''No harm, no foul,'' I said with a smile. I knew there would be harm and foul someday, and he would likely be part of it. I hopped down from the swing. ''What else is there to play here?'' I asked. I ran in the direction of the lake.

''No, NO! Stay away from there! God forbid if you fall in! Stay away!'' the disgusting Fahrsan shouted. It was very frustrating for me to spoken to like a toddler. Rolling my eyes, I turned back and skipped into my brother's arms. He squeezed me tightly and gently kissed my hair.

Fahrsan placed his hand on my shoulder and rubbed up and down my arm. I smiled shyly, masking my disgust. The monster grinned and tickled me under the chin. I giggled childishly. This was just another one of those false displays of kindness that I had learned to play to perfection. The psychopath being the innocent. Assef ran his fingers over my scalp. A few drops of rain fell from the clear sky.

''Oh, shoot!'' Fahrsan ''swore''. He seemed disappointed that his fun had to end so soon. ''We'd better get back before the downpour.'' He began ushering me in the direction of the road. I stumbled along as he pushed me.

''Keep this up, pal, and you'll end up drowned in the lake you fear so much,'' I muttered in German.

''Huh?'' The clueless cunt asked, looking down at me with a smile.

''I said I hate the rain,'' I replied.

''Who doesn't?'' Fahrsan chuckled back. He ruffled my hair. We made our way back to the house. My brother slung an arm over my shoulder. I smiled at him. The first genuine smile in the afternoon. The rain was now coming down in buckets. We hurried inside the house.

''Thank God you're all in before the rain,'' Stella said.

''Well, you know I wouldn't let Saria get wet, Khala jan,'' Assef said. Fahrsan hung his head in disappointment that the day had to end so soon.

''And it's only two in the afternoon,'' Fahrsan muttered in despondency. The mood was wrought with negativity. Nobody wanted to be cooped up inside, and who could blame them? I rested my head up against Assef's legs.

''Will we go upstairs?'' he asked. ''Come on, you need to tidy your clothes away.''

''Ohhh, come on,'' I groaned. ''Really?''

''Come with me, kiddo. Upstairs.'' Assef ushered me up the staircase. I knew full well his intentions were to get me away from our family. We just needed a few hours alone time together. Could you blame us for that? I led my brother into the foul-stinking room we were to share together. I flopped down onto the bed face down. The open window had done little to quench the smell. I almost gagged in disgust.

''You probably should pack away your clothes,'' Assef said. I looked up at him.

''I don't want there to be a smell on my dresses,'' I said, glowering in the direction of the wardrobe. ''You know what, Assef? I bet something _did_ die in there.'' The sight that met us when I opened the door was overwhelming. There, infested with maggots, was a small baby bird. It had clearly died a few months ago, as it's body was decaying. Its wing was wrapped in a weird kind of bandage.

I knelt down and touched it's head. ''Don't touch it, kiddo!'' Assef pulled me back. ''It's disgusting. Come away.'' I covered my mouth and retched.

''I think I'm going to get sick.'' No, I wasn't ''going soft''. I felt nothing for the dead bird. Hopefully it suffered before it died. But the stench was just.. I can't even describe it.

''This is absolutely... I mean... I don't... Who the fuck would leave a dead bird in here? Stupid fucking cunts. Come with me, kiddo. We're going to give those freaks a piece of our minds.'' He grabbed my hand and dragged me down the stairs.

''The bird, Assef?''

''The bird's not going anywhere, Saria.'' I could sense the anger in my brother's voice. The fury at someone doing so disgusting in his sister's presence. I lowered my eyes and turned on the tears as we entered the kitchen. My emotions were switched on and off like a light.

''What's wrong, son?'' Papa asked concerned.

''Anyone care to explain the dead bird in our room,'' he retorted. I sniffled loudly. Fahrsan's face went bright red.

''What dead bird, Assef?'' he asked nervously, his voice shooting up a few octaves. I answered Fahrsan.

''There's a dead baby bird in the wardrobe. It's c-covered in m maggots.''

Mama gasped. ''Show us!'' In single file we trekked up the stairs. Fahrsan was shaking with terror. We entered the room and Assef pushed the bird out for all to see.

''Oh my goodness!'' Mama exclaimed.

''Care to explain, Fahrsan?'' Stella snapped.

Fahrsan could not hide his guilt. He squeezed his eyes shut as he began speaking. ''Um, uh, I found this bird with a broken wing a few months ago. I tried to care for it but, er, it died. A month ago.''

''So you just decided to shove it in here to _rot_!'' Shareem snarled. He was really laying into his son. ''I wanted to do something nice, Father. Just wanted to show you how responsible I am.'' Shareem angrily kicked the door. ''I'm _disgusted_ by you!'' Stella hissed.

''Your cousins are here as our guests and you let them stay in a room like this. You make me SO ASHAMED!'' Shareem cracked his son across the face. The mood was somber. Just how I liked it. The arguing was music to my ears.

''How dare you?'' Shareem scolded. He picked up the bird and wrapped it in plastic bag.

''I know you were just trying to help, but you do _not_ leave animals there to die. You are _despicable_!'' Stella growled. She slapped his hand hard. I bent my head, feigning sympathy and hurt.

''Apologize to Assef and Saria,'' Shareem ordered.

''I apologise for my despicable behaviour. Please forgive me.'' We didn't respond.

''You're going to clean this entire room from from top to bottom, and I expect it to be perfect. I'm so disappointed in you.'' With that being said, we left the room. The look of shame on Fahrsan's face was priceless. Only here one day and already we're calling the shots. Family time, how I love it...


	18. Raising Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria went to Pakistan where she was reunited with her cousin Fahrsan, who she hadn't seen in years. She was later disgusted to learn that Fahrsan left a dead bird hidden in the wardrobe. Now we find the week is halfway through as a surprise from her uncle gives Saria ample time to cause pain and misery once again...

''Fucking zipper!'' I swore as I struggled to get into my pleated pink dress. Getting prettied up was such a tedious chore for me. I wished I could just throw on any old thing and just go. The game had to be played irregardless of my own comfort. It was a most beautiful day outside, and I had managed to sleep well in the now spick and span room Assef and I shared. I looked at myself in the mirror and yanked hard at my zip. ''Come on! It's going to fucking _break_ soon!'' I hissed. Giving it one large pull, I overbalanced and fell flat on my face. My head took a right crack as I landed on the floor. A sharp pain shot through my entire body. I began crying piteously. I had hit my head on a nail that was sticking out of the floor.

Why the fuck Fahrsan hadn't dealt with that I had no idea. I dabbed at my temple. ''Saria, are you coming down, sweetheart?'' Stella asked. My ears were ringing; I could barely make out what she was saying. I didn't answer her. 'Ugh, my head... Go away you stupid _bitch_!' I thought to myself. I rubbed at my head as I curled up in a ball. I touched my temple. Blood.

''FUCK! I busted my head open!'' I swore. I sat up on my knees and hunched forward, holding my throbbing wound. I managed to get to the bed and sat down, bending over and grumbling with pain.

''Are you coming down to us?'' Stella called again. I almost wanted to spit in her mouth and tell her to taste it! The dumbass was really getting on my last nerve. I had to steel myself before I answered her.

''Almost ready, Khala.'' I couldn't let the mask slip for any reason. Grabbing an old towel from the cupboard, I pressed it to my bleeding wound. This wasn't how I wanted my day to pan out. Just my fucking luck! I had to remind myself not to start screaming with my family downstairs. The pain was intense. A nail, honestly, this room was a fucking pigsty.

My reverie was interrupted by my brother entered the room. He stood at the door with his arms folded across his chest. ''I've been sent up as a search party, kiddo. Come on down, you're worrying people by staying up here.''

''I'm sorry, Assef,'' I mumbled sadly.

He walked over and gently lifted my chin. ''I'm not mad at you, sister. Nobody is mad at you. Our mother is just being a panicky cunt, that's all.'' This elicited a laugh from me. I rubbed my head.

''There's a nail over in the corner, Assef. Just be careful. I cracked my head off it a few minutes ago. That's why I was so long,'' I explained.

Assef hugged me to him. ''You okay?'' he asked in concern. I nodded, pressed up against his waist.

''Uh-huh. That dumb Fahrsan didn't tidy up properly, obviously.''

Assef kissed my wound, looking at me in sympathy. ''Shareem's got a surprise for us,'' he said.

''Really, now what could that be?'' I asked. Surely it would be something idiotic and childish, as per fucking usual. The dumb fatty was very high on the list of people who's throats I would like to slit. Still, I knew I would have to just feign interest and excitement like any endearing child would.

Assef ruffled my hair. ''Well, if I knew that it wouldn't really be that much of a surprise, now would it?'' he teased.

''Maybe Hassan's come over and they're going to let us murder him,'' I pondered hopefully. My eyes lit up at the prospect.

Assef chortled loudly, squeezing my shoulder. ''Chance would be a fine thing, but I like your thinking, Sar.'' He ran his fingers through my hair. Who wouldn't love the bond we shared? I covered my scratch with some hair. Time to face the music. I couldn't just stay up here with my brother forever, no matter how much I wanted to.

I skipped ahead of Assef down the stairs and into the kitchen. I truly felt a fucking idiot for behaving this way! My cousin got down on his knees and hugged me tightly. So tight in fact that I felt my ribs would crack. It took every ounce of patience that I had not to push him away from me. ''Where were you, sweetie?'' He asked stupidly.

''I was upstairs,'' I said. 'You dumb prick,' I thought. ''It takes effort for us girls to look this good. Isn't that right, Mama?'' My quip gained a laugh from my mother and aunt. Mama gently kissed the top of my head.

Each of them basked in the simplicity of the moment. I continued to play the role of sweet and innocent little Saria. I bent my knees and cocked my head to the side. Shareem laughed and dug his fingers into my ribs. I squeaked and dashed away from him. He caught me round the waist and dragged me closer to him, tickling my ribs mercilessly. I laughed so hard I felt I was going to get sick. This was why I didn't like to get tickled, except by Assef.

He always knew when to draw the line before I ended up puking my guts out on the floor. Somehow I feared Shareem wouldn't know where that line was. ''Haha, STOP IT!'' I screamed through my hysteria. I kicked my legs futilely. Fahrsan poked at my armpits and I shrieked. ''Nooo... STOP! PLEASE! ASSEF HELP ME!'' I begged.

''Come on, Kaka jan, stop torturing my little sister.'' Assef said, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. Fahrsan laughed and ruffled my hair.

''Hehe, put me down!'' I cried. Shareem set me back onto my feet. I felt light headed as I swayed back and forth on my heels. The blood rushed to my head. With this and the injury I had just sustained upstairs I was sure I would faint soon. Blur spots danced in front of my eyes. I pinched the bridge of my nose. Assef rubbed the back of my hand gently.

''Everything alright?'' he asked.

I nodded slowly. ''Yeah,'' I said.

''I bet you're beat, cuz, are we too much for ya?'' Fahrsan teased. I had to fake a laugh as I turned to face him. I just wanted to slap him. Shareem laughed and wrapped an arm around Assef's shoulder, and ruffled his blond hair. Assef pushed him away, laughing.

''Pisshead fucker,'' he mouthed at me. I sniggered beneath my palm. Of course, no one else was any the wiser as to why I was laughing. Not that they ever would be. Shareem clasped his hands under his chin in complete delight. He seemed more excited than normal today. I was soon to find out why.

''I have a _very_ special surprise for you all,'' he said. I looked up at him in delight.

''Yes, Assef was telling me! I love surprises what _is_ it?'' I asked, clasping my hands as if in prayer. Shareem glanced from side to side and leaned in close so we were almost nose to nose.

''All of us, including Mr. Cuddles, are going to drive up to the woods... And... Go on a scavenger hunt!''

'A scavenger hunt?' I thought in surprise.

''Wow! A SCAVENGER HUNT! How _fun!_ '' Fahrsan shrieked in elation. He bounced up and down like a retard. God, and this idiot is supposed to be seventeen!

''Yeah, I thought that would be fun. You used to love our scavenger hunts, Assef. Do you remember you brought your little friends down once and we all had a boy's day out?'' Shareem said.

''Right, when Wali, Kamal and I were four,'' Assef retorted. They laughed at this statement, but in reality my brother was being the smart ass we are both known to be. Fahrsan bounced around in total excitement. Papa and Mama were both grinning from ear to ear. I realised that I had to play the part. I began jumping up and down with Fahrsan.

''Yay! How fun!'' I clapped my hands together in delight. Honestly I could have murdered every single person in the room right then and there. Minus Assef, of course. That's how pissed I was at that moment. A scavenger hunt? What the fuck was wrong with these people? I was twelve years old! As Assef said, scavenger hunts were only interesting and fun to toddlers.

This was bullshit, pure and simple. Still, I had to pretend like I gave a shit. I giggled excitedly like any child would. The moment only got crazier when Mr. Cuddles bounded into the room. Obviously the dumb animal wanted to join in the fun with us as well. He yapped excitedly as Fahrsan gathered him up into his arms and spun the pup around. The dog excitedly licked at my cousin's face with his coarse pink tongue. 'He doesn't seem to have a problem with those skin grafts... Or maybe dogs just have terrible eyesight!' I thought to myself with a slight chuckle.

Fahrsan bounced around the room like someone on hashish, with the idiotically named dog still in his arms. ''Thank you so much, Father. Thank you.'' He said, running round to hug his father's neck. He grabbed his mother's hands and jumped up and down. ''This is going to be the _best_ day ever! A scavenger hunt, and we get to bring Mr. Cuddle's along! WAHOO!'' he shouted. I seriously had to restrain from rolling my eyes. I knew that he was only trying to make it fun for me, but it was more than irritating!

Assef looked at me. ''Freak,'' he mouthed, glancing at Fahrsan. I giggled loudly. I kept grinning widely as was expected of me.

''When... _When_ do we go?'' Fahrsan asked. He clapped his hands together.

''Well I haven't finished making all the treasure maps, yet. I was thinking it could be a competition. The adults versus the children and Mr. Cuddles.'' Assef picked up his unfinished breakfast and tossed it into the bin. I could tell Mama and Papa were a bit peeved that their son had wasted this good food but they wisely didn't say anything.

''Come on upstairs, kiddo,'' Assef said.

''I'll come too,'' Fahrsan interrupted.

''Don't you have a dog to feed?'' my brother replied cockily.

''Assef's right, son. You need to take care of Mr. Cuddles. Go on. That is your responsibility, after all.'' Shareem gave his son a friendly shove. Fahrsan was in bright spirits as he traipsed outside, Mr. Cuddles following him.

''It would be best, Saria, if you and your brother went upstairs for a while. After all, you don't want an unfair advantage.'' Shareem explained. Stella smoothed out my collar and smiled at me. I gave her the best smile I could muster, then turned and skipped up the stairs, shrieking excitedly like an idiot.

Assef and I both entered our room and I fell face down onto my bed, grumbling loudly. ''A scavenger hunt.. Fucking shit! We're both too old for this bull..'' I mumbled in German.

''And Fahrsan, what a faggot. What is wrong with that boy?'' Assef sat beside me and placed a hand on my back.

''You mean beside all the obvious stuff. I think he's just trying to make it exciting for me,'' I groaned into the pillow. ''God, I'm _not_ a baby!'' I grumbled angrily. My head was pounding. The product of my frustration and the injury I had earlier sustained. I punched the pillow in frustration. The sound was muffled by the soft fabric. I angrily bit into the pillow and screamed.

My brother stroked the back of my head sympathetically. I cried tears of anger and frustration. ''Come on now, Sar. Don't cry. It's not the end of the world. We can make something good out of it. Right?'' He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small steak knife. My eyes lit up at the sight of it. Assef dangled it in front of me, laughing. ''Today's the day we kill that stupid dog,'' he said with conviction.

The corners of my mouth turned up into the first genuine smile I had smiled all morning. I did have a serious question however. I sat up on my elbow and leaned in towards my brother. ''But what if someone catches us?''

Assef poked me in the nose. ''You're Zainab's murderer, kiddo. How many times have we hurt someone and avoided detection?''

I lowered my eyes. ''But we'll be with Fahrsan,'' I muttered.

''So? We'll place the body in the road, make it look like he got hit by a car. They'll probably blame him, not us. Remember the dead bird?'' Assef smiled at me. ''Everything will be okay. Who expects you, after all? Don't you want to have fun with your brother, huh?'' He asked teasingly.

''Okay. We'll kill the dog. Yippy!'' I hugged Assef's neck.

''Glad I could make you happy, kiddo,'' he replied. I kissed his cheek and bounced up and down in excitement. After all, torture and misery were my drugs of choice! My worrying was only out of concern for my older brother's well being. He knew that. He worried about me too. Isn't that what you do when you love someone deeply? I got up from the bed and walked to the window.

''It's a beautiful day,'' I whispered to myself. ''The perfect day to commit a murder.'' I giggled at the thought. I ran the blade of the knife along my hand. It was dangerously sharp, and I almost cut myself. Assef took it from me and glanced at his reflection in the blade.

He put the knife in the side pocket of his orange jacket and tapped it. ''I do wish we could murder Fahrsan though. Or at least that you'd rape him,'' I lamented. Assef hugged me to him.

''Well, there's five days left until we go home. You never know what might happen.'' We watched as Shareem gathered the necessary things for Mr. Cuddles' trip, and put them in the car. I looked blankly down on him. He didn't notice me as he busied himself with the fun day he had planned. Oh if only he knew!

''Saria?'' Papa called up the stairs. ''Saria, Assef, come down! We're ready for you!'' Assef took my hand and squeezed it.

''Game face, kiddo. Remember the prize.'' Of course, the ''prize,'' for us was the pain and misery we were soon to cause. We walked down stairs and out to the car. Fahrsan spun me around in his arms.

''Let's go, go, GO!'' he said with vigorous excitement. My brother and I rolled our eyes at his foolishness. The sky was clear with a light breeze. Fahrsan sat beside me in the back seat of the car.

''Assef, you'll go with your parents,'' he explained.

I shook my head frantically. ''No, no! I want Assef to stay with me!'' I cried.

Fahrsan looked at me in disappointment. He didn't want his cousin to spend time with anyone but him. I knew he just wanted to bond with me. Assef stood there, not knowing what to say or do. My eyes locked on his as I silently begged for help.

''It's only a thirty minute drive, Saria. Surely you can leave your brother for that long?'' Shareem tried to pacify me. I was having none of it. I clenched my fists.

''Please, I wanna go with my brother!'' I begged childishly. Fahrsan looked at me in disdain.

''You see him every bloody _day._ I haven't seen you since you were six. I missed you, and I just wanted to spend some time with you.'' Oh great. Now I was the bad guy. I wondered briefly if this would upset our plan to murder the puppy yapping on my cousin's lap. The tension was thick.

Shareem, I could tell was a bit pissed off. He just wanted to go. I lowered my eyes and sniffled. I would play the role of the sweet child, poor little Saria. My charm never failed to get me what I wanted. Assef smiled at me.

''Come on now, Saria. You'll see Assef soon. Just relax. Come on.'' Fahrsan said in irritated tones.

''I wanna be with my brother! Please, I.. I just don't want to go without him. He's my best friend.''

Shareem shook his head. ''Assef, listen, maybe it would be better if you went away.'' He said. Assef shook his head, taking my small hand in his. ''She doesn't mean any harm by it, she's just a little tired, and you're right, Fahrsan, you haven't seen each other in years. Can you blame her for being a little timid?'' I held my breath.

Would this make them suspicious? Would they be able to see the darkness in me? The evil I hid behind the dresses and curls? Fahrsan angrily kicked the car door. I cowered back in terror. He really was making this _so_ easy. I realised then that _he_ would be the bad guy. I was just the sweet, charming little girl who loved her brother and wanted to stay with him. My innocence could be seen as somewhat endearing. ''I'm sorry, Fahrsan, I don't mean to hurt your feelings. I just want to stay with my brother.''

''It's okay, sweetie,'' Stella said sympathetically. ''Don't be sad. This is the first time you've been in the car with us. I understand, baby, I'd want Tanya with me if I was your age.'' I smiled, knowing she would be a good ally in this fight.

''I really don't mean any harm,'' I muttered. ''I just want my brother.'' Shareem sighed. ''I know, Saria. I understand, honey. There's no need to be nervous though. We're your family'' He touched my arm lightly.

''I know and I love you all so much,'' I lied.

''I guess Assef could come in with us,'' Fahrsan grumbled. ''I mean, if that would make you happy. You can sit in the middle next to both of us.'' I knew this would be the best compromise I could hope for. I nodded.

''Okay! Yes, I'd like that, then we all can spend time together. Plan our tactics for the scavenger hunt.'' I beamed stupidly. Assef got in beside me, as Shareem told our parents the change on plan. They were both relieved. Alone time with their son was something they both wanted to do without. Papa gently brushed a lock of my hair back from my eyes. He smiled at me sympathetically.

''We'll see you in a little while.'' With that being said, he walked back to his own car. My family lived about thirty minutes from the Shakarparian forests in Islamabad. These forests were perfect for a scavenger hunt, and also perfect to commit a murder. I smirked to myself at the thought. Fahrsan was silent as the car pulled out of the drive. I knew he was just pissed off that we weren't alone.

The little dipshit needed to learn his place. Nonetheless, I decided not to let his attitude bother me. I kept up my jovial facade, laughing loudly as Mr. Cuddles licked my cheek. The little dog was utterly oblivious as to the fate that he was to suffer.

''When do you have to bring him back?'' My brother asked, petting the pup's head.

''Oh, um, this Friday,'' Fahrsan answered. ''I wish I didn't have to.'' He added in sadness. He hugged the dog to him.

''Rashid is lucky to have a good friend like you.'' I said sweetly. 'That's right, Saria, tug on some fucking heart strings.' I thought to myself. He beamed and touched my hand. Any animosity between us as now forgotten. For the time being, at least. That would soon change. Assef and I both looked at each other with smiles on our faces.

''You're both very happy,'' Stella said, glancing at us in her rear view mirror. ''That's because I'm so happy I'm spending time with you.'' I lied like only a true sociopath could.

I leaned in close to my brother's ear. ''We should cut that dog's tongue out. Stop his incessant yapping.'' I whispered in German. Assef looked at me, smirking. Of course, nobody else knew what was happening, or the terror that was soon to befall them.

I turned around on my knees and looked at my parents car behind us. 'Go crash and die,' I thought to myself. In my mind, there was one person here that I loved, and the other five I wanted dead. Yes, even my own parents. But I don't think I need to ramble on about that any further. Fahrsan began talking incessantly about the scavenger hunt. His enthusiasm was unwavering.

I wish that I could share in it. If I was ''normal'' would these family trips be better? No, who would help my brother cause misery then? The car slowed to a stop outside the majestic Shakarparian forest. Beautiful trees swayed tall above us as we basked in their beauty. ''What a place!'' I mumbled under my breath. Fahrsan placed a leash on the bouncing Mr. Cuddles, drawing him in close. I almost wanted to rip that dog away from him, but thought better of it. 'That dog is _mine_!' I thought vehemently. 'But... all in due time.' I smirked.

Shareem pulled out two hand-drawn maps and handed one to Fahrsan. ''A few rules before we set off,'' he said. ''Firstly, no going off on your own. Secondly, NO arguing. That's not why we're here. Respect each other. Thirdly, have fun!'' He beamed like a fat oaf, clapping his pudgy hands together. ''So, may be the best team win!'' he chortled.

''Oh don't worry, we plan to,'' Fahrsan joked back. The three of us walked into the woods. ''Okay... Let's see. We need to find, um, a big red shoe.''

''Are you fucking joking me? Who the fuck leaves a shoe in the forest?'' Assef said in German. Fahrsan didn't bother asking him to translate.

''We can use Mr. Cuddles to sniff it out! Or would that be cheating?'' He muttered to himself. We continued to walk deeper into the forest. My patience would soon wear thin... I wanted that dog to _burn_! We continued to walk in silence, searching for that godforsaken red shoe.

My feet started to sweat in their black pumps. I skipped ahead regardless. We trekked half way into the words before Fahrsan found that clown shoe.

''Yay!'' he celebrated. I looked down at it in disdain. ''Maybe the prize is a clown suit,'' he mused.

''If anyone tries to get me in a clown suit, I'll rip their eyes out and take a shit in their sockets,'' Assef said in German.

''What was that?''

''I said I don't think it will be.'' Fahrsan seemed satisfied with this answer. We searched high and low for the other clues. As we were walking, Assef half-pushed me behind some trees. Fahrsan, not noticing our disappearance, knelt down and began searching for other clues. I bit my lip and looked up at my brother.

''Is it time?'' He nodded. Fortunately for us, Fahrsan had dropped Mr. Cuddle's leash. Too fucking easy! I leaned over and slapped my knees twice.

''Here boy, here! Come to Saria!'' I called in hushed tones. The dog bounded towards me, tail wagging. He just wanted someone to play with. Assef kept a watchful eye for Fahrsan.

''He hasn't even noticed we're gone,'' he said. ''I think we're pretty safe here.'' We were surrounded by trees and undergrowth. I knelt down and covered the puppy's mouth with my hand. He responded by licking me. Assef stamped on his paw, causing him to yelp in pain.

A normal person would have been moved to tears but this only caused me to giggle. My brother materialised the knife from his pocket, taking off his jacket and lying it to one side. I took the blade from him and began slashing Mr. Cuddles to ribbons. He gargled and convulsed with every stab. I was ripping him to shreds. The knife squelched as I plunged it into his intestines and twisted it. The little dog couldn't have been more than six months old.

His little cries would be moving, if either Assef and I had the heart to be moved by them. I continued my brutal assault long after Mr. Cuddle's stopped breathing. Assef stopped me with a gentle hand on my shoulder. The body had to be disposed of. There was a little road just by where we came in. ''Where's Fahrsan?'' I asked.

''Gone over behind that tree. Hasn't noticed we're missing,'' Assef replied. We snuck by our idiot cousin, the dog held tightly to my brother's chest. Assef lay the pup down on the side of the road.

''There. Rest in peace, you little cunt,'' he said mockingly. He zipped up his jacket, hiding the blood on his t-shirt.

Just our luck, a passing car slammed into the dog, flattening him into a mush. I clapped my hands excitedly. ''Let's fuck with our cousin.'' Screwing my face up, I let out a loud scream. ''FAHRSAN! FAHRSAN!'' Tears spilled down my face. Crocodile tears, of course.

''SARIA!'' he screamed in response. ''Where are you both?'' He came racing through the forest, concern painted on his face. ''What happened? Why did you run off?''

''Your dog ran off. We were trying to catch him but he was too fast,'' Assef lied smoothly.

''Oh God.. Why didn't I see anything? Where's Mr. Cuddles?'' No words were spoken as Assef took my hand and we both led Fahrsan to the flattened body on the ground. From this angle, you could see exactly the amount of damage the car had done. Mr. Cuddles didn't even resemble a dog anymore. He was just a mush. I covered my mouth with my hands. Fahrsan crumpled into a ball, wailing pathetically.

''No! OH GOD! NO!'' he screamed. ''What do I tell Rashid?'' he lamented to himself.

''Tell him you let his dog get killed,'' Assef replied. He stroked my hair while I sobbed. Fahrsan tried to lift Mr. Cuddles up. Intestines spilled out on the ground. ''What are you doing, Fahrsan? It's dead. Put it down.'' Assef ordered.

This enfuriated our cousin. He jumped to his feet. ''It? IT? He's not an it, he's an animal with thoughts and feelings and should be treated with dignity! SHOW SOME RESPECT!'' He shoved Assef backwards and onto the ground. I watched in glee as my brother got back on his feet.

''You fucking cunt! HOW DARE YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU PUSH ME?" When my brother was angry, he was _angry._ He threw himself on Fahrsan, and the two of them rolled around for a bit. Assef, being a more skiled fighter, soon had Fahrsan pinned and was hitting him repeatedly. He raised his fist as if to punch the older teen in the face.

'Shit, what if the adults see?' I thought. I pulled on my brother's jacket.

''Assef! Assef, stop!'' I cried. He looked at me. I pulled on him again.

''Get up,'' he hissed at Fahrsan. Fahrsan struggled to his feet, tears streaming down his face. Within a few minutes, the adults arrived.

''What happened?'' Stella asked in horror. She took sight of the mangled body and covered her mouth in horror. ''What happened to Mr. Cuddles?''

''We tried to catch him but this car just c-came from nowhere,'' I sniffed, inwardly commending my acting skills.

Fahrsan pointed an accusatory finger at Assef. ''He just beat the _shit_ out of me! They killed my dog! I know it! They did it!''

Shareem cracked his son on the back of the head. ''I don't believe that for one second. Your cousins are the sweetest people I've ever met. You're just trying to blame someone, because you know it's your fault. I'm so ashamed of you.'' Not a word was said as we trekked back to our respective cars. Once again, we had the upper hand. But, I wasn't satisfied with Mr. Cuddle's death, I wanted more blood. Human blood. Fahrsan's blood...


	19. Fahrsan's Reckoning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In chapter 18, Saria brutally murdered Mr. Cuddles, Fahrsan's beloved dog. Without remorse she watched as Fahrsan took the blame for the incident.. Now we find her coming to the end of her stay in Pakistan...

The clock ticked endlessly on the wall behind me. The noise was magnified in the silence. It was now about half past six or so in the morning. I lay awake, completely still so as not to disturb my brother who slept soundly in the bed beside mine. The room still held that foul odour of dead bird, despite Fahrsan's pathetic attempts to clean everything with a disinfectant. It was a rather humid evening, much to my dismay. I find warm nights much harder to sleep on, which was probably half the reason I was awake right now.

The cotton night gown that I was wearing didn't do much good to help matters either. It reached just below my knees and this coupled with the long sleeves made it better suited for cold winter nights. But what could I do? I marvel at the pieces of shit I wear to seem innocent and charming. I kicked the covers off me in a half-assed attempt to cool down. Not that it did much good anyway. I swear, if it got any hotter I'd pass out from heat stroke or something. Assef shifted in his sleep but didn't wake.

My brother could sleep through a fucking earthquake, I swear. Part of me wanted to climb into bed beside him. To wake him up so that I could have someone else to share in my insomnia. I didn't though. I'm not so selfish that I would deny my brother those extra hours of sleep that everybody cherishes. There's isn't anything in this world I wouldn't sacrifice for Assef and vice versa. Not that I need mention that, do I? Rolling over onto my stomach, I glanced in the direction of the wardrobe where the dead bird had been only days before. It seemed wherever Fahrsan went, some poor animal ended up dead.

By now about two days or so had passed since the unfortunate demise of Mr. Cuddles. The little dog was now resting in Heaven, or perhaps Hell. I hoped for the latter. Why should suffering cease just because he was dead. In my mind, anyone who hurts or annoys me should end up tortured for eternity! Zainab, Ahtrai, Hassan... Any person who's ever bothered me before. They should all have to face the Devil's wrath. That is, after facing mine.

Rashid, Fahrsan's friend, had soon learned of his faithful companion's demise. The fight that had ensued between himself and Fahrsan had been hilarious to watch. I'm damn lucky I didn't piss myself, that's for sure. Rashid was throwing swear words left and right. Words that my mother would kill me if she heard me use. Of course, she's never going to hear me use them, but I digress. No pathetic excuses Fahrsan came up with could make up for what he had done, for the misery and hurt he had caused. Rashid's pain was made ten times worse with the realisation that there would be no body of his little dog to bury. No way to gain closure from the death of his four legged friend. I'm sure he must have cried himself to sleep just thinking about it.

Not that I gave a shit either way. I had killed that dog to hurt my cousin and if another person got hurt along the way, then all the better. The ten year friendship between Fahrsan and Rashid had now been irreparably shattered. Ruined in the blink of an eye. It amazes me how a stupid animal could make two people as close as brothers fall out. Assef and I would _never_ fight over a fucking dog, but I guess not everyone could be as close as we are. Still, Fahrsan should take some responsibility for Mr. Cuddles death. He shouldn't have turned his back on us. We were supposed to stick together. He broke a rule and as a result, Mr. Cuddles paid the price for it.

That's how I viewed the situation and I could give two shits if Fahrsan thought any differently. Surely he must be entertaining some notions that I had killed the pup, but even if he was, who could he possibly tell? Who would believe him? Innocent little Saria would never ever hurt anyone, especially a cute little animal. I mean, those fools seen the way I was with Mr. Cuddles when they were around. How delighted I seemed when the puppy would lick my face. Why would I ever hurt him? It didn't hear thinking about. No, I was perfectly in the clear as far as that was concerned.

Matter of fact, I was practically a _hero_ , as far as those foolish adults were concerned. In their eyes, I had been the one who noticed the dog run off, and had tried to catch him. Nobody would ever believe I had done such a heinous act. I curled up in a ball on my side and tried to get back to sleep. My thoughts were ever racing. It seems I never got a moments break from them. The week was almost over. In two days time we would be making the eleven hour return journey to Kabul. Then, come Monday, I'd have to go back to school to be faced with more bullshit. I'm sure Ahtrai and her little bitch friends must be just itching for ways to torment me further. I wondered if Ara would be back by now.

Rumour has it she would be placed in a special class with a special tutor to help her cope with her new disability. I hoped I would see her on the playground, though. I wanted to see the blind little bitch stumbling around and crashing into things. Still, even with Ara's little mishap, their idiotic leader still wanted to push my buttons. I knew Ahtrai was itching to play a dangerous game with me. A game that, if she wasn't careful, would cost her her life.

Closing my eyes, I tried to imagine all the ways I could torment and kill the little cunt. Skin her alive, cut out her tongue, slit her throat and watch her bleed out under my feet. Perhaps even asphixiation or drowning... Whatever method I chose, it would be total agony for her. For her sake I really hoped she would see sense and just leave me alone. Maybe then, I'd permit her to live. All she'd need to do would be to stop picking on me and she would save herself and her family a lot of misery. Thinking of murdering Ahtrai brought me back to the day I had killed Zainab. That had been her own fault. The little girl thought she could get the upper hand by beating me, but in the end, it was I who had come out the victor! I thought of all the things little Zainab would never experience.

Growing up, getting married, raising a family... I thought about how she would never know what it felt to hold her child for the first time, to kiss her husband at their wedding day. Now her parents would never have a grandchild or anything. Thinking about this made me start giggling. I covered my mouth with my hands and shook with laughter. It was amazing how one simple stabbing could effect people's lives forever. Well, it was Zainab's own fault. She had fucked with me and had lost the battle. That was honestly how I saw things. It would do me no good to distress myself over her or Ahtrai any further. I had enough shit to be dealing with Zainab no longer existed to me.

As for Ahtrai, well, only time would tell what would become of her. She'd learn her place soon enough, I was sure of it. Either that or the police would have another murder on their hands. ''Go to sleep, Saria. You know how cranky you get when you don't get enough sleep,'' I told myself. I tossed the covers onto the floor and curled up into a ball. I glanced up at the clock again. It was now seven o clock. ''What the fuck? I've been awake for half an hour! Why the _fuck_ can't I sleep?'' I grumbled angrily under my breath. I punched the pillow in frustration.

Assef shifted, sitting up in his bed. ''What's wrong, kiddo? Why are you awake?'' Fuck, now I'd woken him up too! I buried my face in my hands.

''I'm sorry, Assef,'' I groaned pathetically. ''I just can't fucking sleep. Don't know why. I didn't mean to wake you. I'm sorry.'' Tears of anger and frustration made their way down my cheeks. I gulped back a sob.

''Stupid Saria, go back to sleep,'' I muttered. Assef got out of his own bed and walked over to mine.

''Budge up, kiddo.'' I shifted slightly, allowing him to climb in beside me. Assef picked up the covers of the bed and covered both of us with them. ''What's up, Sar? Why are you still awake, eh?'' I lowered my eyes and snuggled closer to my brother, resting my head on his chest.

''I can't sleep. I don't know why. Too much on my mind, I guess.''

Assef stroked the back of my head. ''What's on your mind, kiddo? You wanna talk about it?'' I clicked my tongue. Snuggled deeper under the blanket.

''I don't know. I'm just thinking about Ahtrai. About what she'll do to me when I get back to school.'' I rolled onto my side and leaned up on my elbow. ''I _really_ don't want the hassle of having to kill her, but I don't see any other way out of things.'' This was now becoming a very real concern of mine as much as I wished it wasn't.

My brother reached out and wiped a stray tear away from my face with his thumb. I hadn't noticed it was there. The sun was beginning to rise, light streaming in the window from behind the closed curtains. Assef rolled over to face me, taking my tiny hand in his. ''Come on now, kiddo, let's not think about that. She might leave you alone, knowing what happened to little Ara. And if she doesn't, then we'll find some way to punish her. If she has to die, then we'll find a way to do that too. No need to worry about it. Now, come on, try and get some sleep.'' I nodded and wrapped my arm around his waist.

He ran his fingers through the length of my hair in an attempt to relax me. I closed my eyes. ''I'll try not to think about her any more, Assef. Thanks for listening to me. You're a great brother.''

''Well, you're a great little sister. I'll wake you up when it's time for breakfast.'' With that said, I closed my eyes and settled into sleep...

The next morning came quicker than I anticipated, and I woke to find my hideous cousin poking his head round the door. ''Good morning, little one. How are you feeling, eh?'' he asked. I had to steel myself to stop from screaming at him. Saria Ahmed is not a morning person.

''Oh, good morning, cousin. I'm fine thanks, how are you? What time is it?''

''It's about half-eleven, little one. Are you getting up?'' he asked.

''Okay. Let me get dressed. I'll be down in a few minutes.'' He nodded, winked for some reason, and seen himself out. I lay my head back on the pillow. Assef walked in, already fully dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. He sat down on the edge of the bed. I sat up, cross-legged.

''Morning, sleepy-head. How are you?''

''Fine I guess. The cunt just came in earlier.'' For obvious reason, I kept the conversation in our mother's German. Assef laughed at my nickname for Fahrsan.

''He was worried when you didn't come down. Thought you were sick or something. That boy loves you, he really does.'' I rocked back and forth.

''Well, you're the only one that I love, you know that. Fahrsan can go fuck himself.'' Assef laughed and ruffled my hair.

''You're sweet, kiddo. Come on down when you're ready. And be careful when you're getting your dress, there's a screw loose in the wardrobe. I don't want some fucking shelf falling down on top of you.''

I nodded. ''Alright, I'll be careful...'' Assef smiled and seen himself out. I got up out of bed and padded barefoot to the wardrobe. I opened the doors and perused through my many dresses and pinafores. ''If this stupid fucking thing falls on top of me, I swear to God!'' I swore aloud in German. I pulled out a light blue dress with Peter Pan collar, bow at the back and mid-length sleeves.

I tossed it in the bed and gently closed the doors, making sure not to knock anything down on top of myself. I dressed quickly and placed two matching ribbons in my plaited hair. ''Looking good, Saria.'' I told myself as I admired my reflection in the mirror. ''Looking very good.'' I smiled and skipped out the door, locking it firmly behind me. The stairs creaked noisily behind me as I skipped down each of them.

I could hear Fahrsan and Mama laughing about something in the living room. Those two were close. There was no denying it. In fact,forgive me for saying this, and I'd _never_ tell Assef, although I think he probably knows, but I think she sometimes wishes Fahrsan was her son. I grabbed an apple from the kitchen table and joined them.

Fahrsan leaned over and kissed my forehead. 'Eww, get away, I'm eating!' I thought in disgust. ''I can't believe the week is almost over. Where did the time go?'' Papa commented.

''Time flies when you're having fun,'' the disgusting excuse for a boy (Fahrsan) replied.

I lowered my eyes in an attempt to look cute. ''I'm gonna miss you guys,'' I said. No points for guessing that I was lying through my teeth. If I could, I'd happily slit each of their throats in turn and then dance on their graves. Still, we can't always get what we want out of life, can we? I grinned at Shareem and Stella. My mind filled with thoughts of stabbing or beating them to death. I could already see Stella lying in a pool of her own blood. If only.

Stella returned my smile and placed her hand on the back of my head. ''We're going to miss you too, Saria. It's been so nice to have you.''

''Well, you guys have to come to Kabul some time,'' Papa offered. I almost rolled my eyes. Obviously I couldn't do that without seeming rude. Fahrsan seemed delighted at this offer. He clasped his hands under his chin, almost as if in prayer.

''Really, Uncle Mahmood? Do you mean that? Thank you!'' he said in delight. The window was open, letting in some cool air that circulated around the room. The mood was calm, peaceful. I could almost bask in it. I looked at the beautiful clear sky outside and let myself zone out for a bit.

''Kiddo, kiddo?'' Assef nudged me in the ribs.

I looked up at him. ''What?''

''Fahrsan's talking to you,'' my brother said.

''Oh? I'm sorry, cousin. I zoned off there. What is it?''

''Its okay, dear. I was just wondering what do you want to do today?'' he asked. Stella cut across me before I had the chance to answer.

''Well, actually, us adults have a surprise in store. Fahrsan, we need you to look after Saria for a couple of hours while we drive up and get it.''

''I'm staying here too, right?'' Assef asked, placing his hand in my shoulder.

''If that's what you want, son, then of course,'' Papa said. Fahrsan lowered his eyes and twiddled his thumbs.

''Well, actually we'd better be going now. We'll see you three in a few hours. Probably later this evening,'' Mama said. I smiled at them as they trekked in single file out to the car. With any luck, they might drive over a fucking ravine or something. I turned and ran back upstairs, giggling to myself at the awful thought.

As I entered my room, I could hear the front door slam shut. I almost jumped out of my skin. ''What the fuck?'' I asked aloud. The banging and stamping continued. I listened intently as somebody slammed the cupboard doors repeatedly in the kitchen.

After about five minutes, Assef entered the room, quietly closing the door behind him. ''Our cousin is having a bit of a tantrum,'' he informed me. I looked at him in confusion.

The banging and stamping continued downstairs. Assef and I both stayed silent, listening in. We could hear Fahrsan swearing downstairs. ''Stupid cunt. Glued to her. Wish he'd just PISS OFF AND LEAVE US ALONE!'' he screamed in utter rage. I looked up at my brother and rolled my eyes.

''I don't think our cousin likes you very much,'' I said. We both laughed and let this roll off us.

''Well, you know and I know that I'm not going to leave you alone with him, kiddo,'' he replied.

''Really, Assef? Is that for my sake or his?'' I teased. Assef grinned and playfully poked me in the nose.

''You know what I mean, sport!'' he teased. The noise continued on downstairs. I flopped back onto the bed as I heard him ascend the stairs, muttering curses under his breath. He threw the door to our room open with such force I feared it would fly off the handle. Fahrsan was like a bull in a china shop as he surveyed us both. I immediately put on a concerned facade.

''What's wrong, Fahrsan? You look so sad,'' I said innocently. I stood up and began to pace by the wardrobe.

Fahrsan growled at my brother like a feral cat. ''You two still joined at the hip?'' he asked. Assef raised his eyebrows. We both glanced at each other.

''What's got you so upset, Fahrsan?'' He asked, folding his arms across his chest. I was now standing right in front of the open wardrobe. Fahrsan glared in Assef's direction.

''You're glued to your sister like I don't know... It PISSES ME OFF!'' he snarled.

''I love my sister. I want to spend time with her,'' Assef replied calmly. I was amazed at how calm he was being, given the circumstances. Fahrsan mimicked what my brother said in a high pitched voice.

''All I wanted was to spend _one_ fucking afternoon with Saria. You hear that, little girl? All I wanted was to spend one day just you and me.'' I stayed stone-faced as I watched him approach me. Fahrsan commented further. ''You two could be Siamese twins. The way you latch onto each other.''

Now this boy was beginning to piss me off. I decided I'd put him in his place. ''But how can we be twins when there's a few years between us in age?'' I asked cheekily.

My tone didn't go unnoticed by Fahrsan. He stepped closer to me. ''Watch your mouth, Saria. I don't like it when little girls are rude to me,'' he threatened.

I smirked up at him. ''I'll be careful then. Don't want to end up like poor Mr. Cuddles, do I?'' I retorted. This statement somehow flicked a switch within my cousin. He drew back his hand and brought it down across my cheek. I stumbled backwards and fell flat on my ass inside the wardrobe.

Unfortunately for me, this had to be the time that the loose shelf gave way and came crashing down around me. The corner of it cracked me right on the head. For a moment, I saw stars. Then the tears came. I lay there, sobbing pathetically. Fahrsan seemed to come to the horrid realisation of what he had done.

''SARIA!'' he screamed. ''Oh my God, are you okay? I'm _so_ sorry!'' I ignored his words and reached out for my brother.

''Assef, Assef!'' I sobbed. Assef bent down and gathered me into his arms, holding me as carefully as you would a newborn. I latched onto his waist as he ushered me out of the room. Fahrsan followed suit.

''I didn't mean to!'' he cried pathetically. He reached out and touched my head. ''Are you okay, Saria? I feel terrible.''

''Get your fucking hands off my sister!'' Assef snarled viciously. I continued to sob. This was not some childish act. My head hurt like hell. Assef brought me into the kitchen and sat me down on a chair. ''Your head's bleeding, kiddo,'' he said as he fetched the first aid kits. He poured some antiseptic onto a wet cloth. ''This is probably going to sting a little. I'm sorry, kiddo.''

With that said, Assef pressed the cloth to my temple. I hissed in pain, then began to sob afresh. I leaned forward and placed my head on my brother's shoulder as he tried to soothe me.

''Perhaps we should get her to a doctor,'' Fahrsan added.

''No, no doctors. I'll be fine. Maybe if I just take a nap or something,'' I said. As I've probably mentioned before, I hate hospitals. Or doctors of any kind.

''She'll be okay, Fahrsan. I'll take her up to bed now.''

Fahrsan nodded through his tears. ''I hope you know I never meant to hurt you, darling. I really didn't.'' I didn't even bother to answer him as my brother half carried me back up the stairs.

''We'll keep this between us, Fahrsan. No need to tell anyone else,'' Assef called down. I looked up at him in perplexment.

''Why won't we tell?'' I asked in German.

''Because.. If we tell then the others will put two and two together and know we pushed him down the stairs this evening.'' Assef replied. We entered our room and I lay on the bed.

''But.. We haven't pushed him down the stairs!'' I said.

''Not yet, kiddo. Not yet,'' he replied. I beamed up at my brother in utter delight.

''When?'' I could hardly contain my excitement.

''Later tonight. When the others come back. We'll make it look like an accident. Now, however, you need to sleep.'' I didn't think this would be possible. My head was racing, after all. ''You need your rest, kiddo. I'll be back in a few hours to check up on you. Bye, sis.''

With that, he left me to my own devices in that darkened room. I tossed and turned as I tried to let my thoughts fade. When would we be punishing Fahrsan? When? And would it _really_ be safe for us? I had so many questions for my brother. I just had to remind myself that Assef would not let me get hurt or let me take the fall for anything.

He'd have thought this whole thing through. The sooner I slept, the sooner I could punish my cousin for daring to raise a hand against me. I closed my eyes and soon, I had drifted into sleep.. The evening soon came and my brother roused me from my slumber. I sat up groggily. ''Come on, Saria. Let's go put this plan of ours into action.'' I tiptoed over to the open door and looked out. Assef held the window open, waiting for the single. All part of the plan. Mama often came upstairs to read a book before bed.

I watched her ascending. Right before she reached the top shelf, I signalled to Assef. ''Now!'' He slammed the window shut, causing her to jump and drop her book. Mama didn't even notice and let it just lie on the ground as she hurried to our room.

''Oh, a gust of wind must have slammed your window shut. Nearly gave me a heart attack.'' She smiled and stroked my hair.

''I apologise, Mother. We'll leave it closed from now on,'' Assef said.

''No, don't worry about it, son. I'm actually going to relax a bit before bed. Fahrsan's in the bathroom. Well, goodnight you two.'' We bid her goodnight and she left. Then, we heard Fahrsan exit the bathroom. I snuck out and watched him stand by the top of the stairs, looking at the book Mama had dropped.

I don't need to mention how dangerous and risky this is. Assef peered around the door, waiting with baited breath as I approached, stoic. Fahrsan bent over to pick up the book. I looked around me. Nobody else could see this. I had to be sure that nobody would come poking around from downstairs.

Assef now stood watch at the landing. I was now directly behind Fahrsan. He stood up, having retrieved Mama's book. I pushed him, hard. He overbalanced and fell. Now, my brother and I knelt, hands over our mouths, watching him tumble. His foot got caught in one of the steps and I heard a sickening crack. Then it was over. He lay pathetically at the bottom step. Fahrsan's neck was twisted at an odd angle. I bit my lower lip in delight. ''Good girl, kiddo. Come on, they're coming.'' We hurriedly retreated back to our room.

Stella's screaming was so loud it nearly busted my fucking eardrums. ''FAHRSANNNN! OH MY GOD! FAHRSANNNNN!'' She yelled. I began to giggle. Assef bit his lip and snickered as Papa came thundering up the stairs. We immediately stopped laughing as he entered the room.

''Saria, Assef, your cousin has fallen down the stairs. Come quickly, we need to get to a hospital.,'' he said. ''Saria, get a coat.'' I nodded and pulled my duffle coat over my small frame. I could hardly contain my excitement.

''Come on, kiddo.'' I looked at my brother with crocodile tears in my eyes.

''O-okay.''

Assef stroked my hair and held my hand tightly. ''It'll be alright, sis. You'll see.'' There were no words spoken as we were ushered out of the house and into the car. Fahrsan was being held by Papa and Shareem. Shareem by the shoulders and Papa by the feet. His head lolled like a limp noodle on his neck.

I glared darkly in his direction. Not that he could see or notice me anyway. I remained silent as we followed their car out of the driveway. Mama and Papa both questioned what had happened. ''I just can't believe it. We were having such a good time. And now this?'' Mama lamented. I almost wanted to ask her what the ''surprise'' was that they had gone to get earlier. I had to hold my tongue though.

''Why, I mean... It doesn't...'' Papa trailed off. His knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel. Up ahead, Shareem sped on, swerving left and right. Assef leaned over to whisper in my ear.

''How much do you want to bet that he'll die?'' Our parents didn't notice this, as they were too concerned with the boy in the car ahead. With the speed Shareem was driving, it's no wonder he didn't fucking crash. My brother nudged me in the ribs.

I turned to face him. "Sorry, Assef, I zoned out. What did you say?"

"I said, how much do you want to bet that he's going to die?" he whispered in my ear, giving a teasing smirk.

''With any luck.. I don't like the way his neck twisted. Perhaps we'll be going to another funeral.,'' I teased back. We pulled into the hospital car park and got out. Paramedics were already on hand with a stretcher and were loading poor Fahrsan onto it. I craned my head for a closer look. Papa and Mama had run on ahead, and were disappearing through the double doors.

''I can't fucking see. Have they taken him way yet?'' I asked my brother as we entered the hospital.

''They must have done. I can't see him either,'' Assef replied. Stella was crumpled on the floor, sobbing. She couldn't even speak.

''Does anyone know.. Could anyone.. How did this happen?'' Shareem asked. I hoped they wouldn't put two and two together.

Assef looked directly at our uncle. ''Actually, I saw something at the bottom of the stairs. Just by where Fahrsan fell. I picked it up; it was one of Mother's books,'' he said. I looked to my mother. She reacted as I expected her to.

''What? No? What do you mean, Assef? Are you saying he could have been picking up my book?'' Now all eyes, including my own, were on my brother.

''It's possible. I'm just telling you what I saw. No way of knowing for sure what happened until he tells us.'' Assef replied. He sat down on a vacated chair and pulled me onto his lap. We waited for hours. Perhaps one, two, maybe more. That's how it felt to me. Eventually a tall, thin Pakistani doctor approached us. The look on his face conveyed bad news. News of death or some other misfortune. ''We.. He had a very serious neck injury. I think you better prepare for the possibility that he may be permanently paralysed from the neck down.''

This word was foreign to me. We stood up, Assef wrapping his arm around my shoulder to draw me in close. ''What does paralysed mean?'' I asked in genuine confusion.

''It means that he can't feel anything below his neck. That he can't move his legs or arms anymore,'' Assef explained.

''Can w-we see him?'' Stella stuttered. She leaned against her husband's chest. ''Yes, actually... He just came round and he is asking for you.'' As we entered Fahrsan's room, I almost screamed in delight. He lay with wide, fearful eyes glancing from me to my brother. He was attached to a heart monitor.

His parents were immediately at his side, sobbing and holding both his hands. ''Son, baby, can you tell Mommy what happened to you? Why you fell down the stairs?'' I immediately tensed up. Fahrsan looked at Assef for a brief moment. Assef remained emotionless.

''Khala Tanya dropped a book. I was just going to pick it up for her when I tripped and fell down the stairs.'' Now I could breath a sigh of relief. 'It's going to be fine, Saria. The little cunt didn't tell.'

Mama cupped her hands over her mouth. ''Stella, sister, I am so, _so_ sorry!'' she said through her tears.

Stella brushed her hand away angrily. ''Don't touch me, Tanya! Just don't _touch_ me!'' she snarled. ''You should be careful, Tanya! For goodness sake.. LOOK WHAT YOU DID!'' Mama fell to her knees and began sobbing, her head buried in her hands.

''I'm sorry. I'm so _sorry_!''

Papa hoisted her to her feet. ''I suppose we'd better go," he said. Stella and Shareem trudged out into the hallway.

"We'll be back soon, darling," Stella told her son. "We just need to speak with the doctors."

Assef glanced down at Fahrsan. "Mother, Father, is it okay if my sister and I speak to our cousin alone? So that he knows we'll be here for him. That we love him.''

''Okay, son. But only five minutes and we expect you two back in the car. Understood?''

Assef nodded. ''Understood. See you in five.'' They silently slipped out the door. Now, we were alone with Fahrsan. Assef pulled the curtain around him, blocking us from prying eyes. He took a lock of Fahrsan's hair and slammed it into the pillow. I knelt on a nearby chair, one hand over his chest to hold him down.

''That was a very clever lie you came up with. You're a smart boy,'' Assef said darkly. He leaned in so he and Fahrsan were nose to nose.

''Why? W why did you push me, Saria?'' he asked. I glared at him. I clenched my fists and hissed at him.

''You slapped my sister, Fahrsan! How fucking _dare_ you! I could have killed you. I still could, you know.'' Assef placed his hand on Fahrsan's neck. ''You little brat, thinking you could do that to her,'' he hissed.

I leaned down and smacked him right across the face. ''You're not going to tell on us, are you?'' I asked. ''If you tell _anybody_ about this, or _anything_ else, then I promise you, being paralysed will be the least of your worries. Do you understand?'' He blinked frantically.

I had no sympathy for him; the little cunt brought it on himself, after all. Assef grabbed Fahrsan's chin. ''I'll ask you once more, Fahrsan. Do you understand?''

''Yes, j-just please leave me alone, Assef. I don't wanna die!''

''Okay. You get some rest now.'' My brother straightened up and took my hand. We took one final look at the sobbing boy. I wrinkled up my nose and spat right on him.

''You disgust me,'' I hissed. I didn't look back at him as we left. I could hear him sobbing. As I approached the car, I entertained the notion that perhaps Mama and Stella would never speak again.

Whatever happened, I was glad that I had done what I did. We had driven our point home loud and clear. Nobody fucks with the Ahmed siblings. Not now, not ever...


	20. Shocking Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Fahrsan violently struck Saria in the face. As an act of vengeance, she pushed him down a full flight of stairs, causing him to become paralysed from the neck down. Now we find she's returning to school but it won't be long before a meeting with Amir reveals a shocking secret...

The last remnants of winter seemed to finally be disappearing as the last bit of snow melted outside our front lawn. I sat at my vanity desk in my bedroom, calmly brushing my hair. ''I can't fucking believe I have to go back to school today. Fucking shit. Why can't I just stay home?'' I grumbled to myself at the unfairness of it all. I wanted nothing more than to curl up back in my bed and sleep again. I knew I would be in for more than my fair share of teasing from the other girls, especially that cunt Ahtrai. There was no doubt in my mind that the little cow would have thought long and hard about ways to make my life hell today.

She just didn't seem to understand the dangers of messing with someone as violent and psychotic as myself. There was no question about it, sooner or later she would find herself in much the same position as do most other people who get on my nerves. I reached across the desk and grabbed a large pink headband. As I fixed it into my hair, I thought of Fahrsan and what had happened to him.

The very same night that we had returned home from our ''holiday,'' Mama received a telephone call from her younger sister, informing her that the young man had died a few hours earlier in hospital. Apparently, he suffered a fatal heart attack and even though doctors tried desperately to save him, he ended up flatlining and passed away in the early hours of the morning.

I didn't know what exact time it was he'd passed away and of course I couldn't ask without seeming rude. I knew now that I was completely in the clear with regards to what had happened to Fahrsan. Nobody would ever suspect that sweet little Saria had anything to do with her cousin's demise. As long as I feigned sadness and pretended to grieve for my cousin, then I knew I would fly right under the radar. It was very obvious from the way Mama reacted during and after that phone call that Stella still blamed her for her son's death.

Not that she would be any the wiser. Mama had dropped her book on the stairs after all, and as far as they were aware, that was why Fahrsan had tripped. I could give two flying fucks whether my mother took the blame for my actions or not, so long as the blame was shifted off my brother and myself. Isn't that what a parent is for, anyway? To take the blame when their child does something wrong or bad. That was honestly how I saw the situation. I could care less about the sisterly relationship that I had seemingly destroyed, or about the boy who's life had been cut so tragically short.

He fucked with me and he payed the price. If Fahrsan hadn't smacked me then none of this would have happened. It was his own careless, reckless decision that had been his downfall. His anger had gotten the better of him, and he ended up suffering greatly because of it. Yes, I know both Assef and I can be accused of allowing our anger get the better of us, but that's really beside the point. I hoped that wherever that little retard was, he was suffering and in immense pain.

Hell had swallowed him up along with Zainab and that dumb dog Mr. Cuddles. Thinking of Mr. Cuddles made me wonder how young Rashid had reacted to the death of his best friend. Surely he must be feeling incredibly guilty for how their relationship had ended. I giggled to myself as I thought of all the pain and misery that I had caused. 'Sorry Fahrsan, but it was your own fault,' I thought to myself. I felt no remorse for any of the things that I had done. Nobody had the right to raise a hand against me the way he had, and if he had to die for me to prove that point, then that was the way it had to be.

Just the thought of his grieving family made me almost piss myself with laughter. The mental image of his mother's reaction to his death, the look upon her face (which I would love to have seen) was enough to send me into hysterics. I doubled over on my knees, howling with hysteria. The pain I caused to others was as funny to me as a clown in the circus would be to another child. I slammed my hand against the carpeted floor as I joyfully reminisced. A knock on the door suddenly startled me. I sprung to my feet and began smoothing out the sides of my dress.

I breathed in deeply, my eyes squeezed shut. My heart was still racing from my laughing fit. I could see the door knob turning. The door creaked open as my brother made his way into the room. I skipped over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my face in the fabric of his shirt. ''Good morning, Assef,'' I said, as he gently stroked the back of my hair. I pulled away from him and grinned widely.

''And good morning to you too, kiddo,'' was his reply. I embraced him again and giggled softly. I pinched the sides of my pink plaid dress.

''What do you think? Nice dress for school?'' I asked, running my hands down the front.

Assef put his hands on his hips and cocked his head to the side, scrutinizing me. ''You know what, Saria? That dress Stella and Shareem got you would look beautiful, don't you think?'' he teased.

I pulled a face and took said dress out of my wardrobe. It was literally all seven colors of the rainbow, with a large bow at the back and massive puffball sleeves. It would have looked pretty on a two year old. I, however, hated the blasted thing. Assef covered his mouth and chortled as I held the disaster up to myself, swaying from side to side, admiring myself in the mirror.

''Fuck it, this needs to be burned. You know, Assef, if I could set my lighter on this thing, I'd do it gladly,'' I said as I placed the piece of shit dress back in my wardrobe. Assef laughed and playfully poked me in the ribs, making me shriek. ''Haha, stop!'' I giggled, doubling over as he caught me round the waist and pulled me closer to him, tickling my ribs. Who wouldn't adore this relationship we shared?

I pulled away as Assef gently placed a hand on my shoulder. ''We need to get going, kiddo. You got all your books?''

I nodded hurriedly. I lowered my eyes and scuffed my shoe against the carpeted floor. ''I don't wanna go back to school,'' I admitted truthfully.

''Oh, don't you want to see Adia again?'' he asked. I thought of all the ways I could torment my bitch, how I could make her suffer. We had a lot to do to make up for these past few weeks. I smiled up at my brother.

''Hmm, when you put it like that.'' I pulled my long over coat out of the wardrobe and slid it over my lean frame. My brother watched with his arms folded across his chest. Once I had finished buttoning up my coat, I took Assef's hand. My stomach was almost sick with nerves as we left the house.

Assef locked the door behind him then placed the key back in his pocket. The sun peeked through the clouds in the sky above us. I lowered my eyes and trudged along sadly by my brother's side. Assef took notice of my somber mood and turned my chin to face him. ''Now kiddo, you know I'd let you stay off today if I could. Mother and Father would have a fit though, and the more we stay out of Mother's way right now, the better. Besides, just think of all your little friends. I bet they've missed you so much.''

This elicited a laugh from me. I bit my lower lip and giggled as I imagined all the things that I could do to my schoolmates. ''I wonder if Ara is back,'' I said, more to myself than to Assef.

''You tell her I said hello, if you see her, won't you?'' he asked.

I nodded. ''Of course.'' We continued to walk in silence as I became lost in thought and worry about the day ahead. No matter what my brother said, there was always going to be that part of me that dreaded going back to school.

That part that would be feeling like a scared little girl, terrified of the taunts and jeers I would undoubtedly be facing at the hands of Ahtrai and her friends.

I had a serious question for my older brother. ''Assef, does Mama have depression? Because of what happened to Fahrsan?'' I asked rather bluntly.

Assef looked down at me, a blank look in his eyes. ''I don't know, sis. I'd bet money that she does. She certainly blames herself for what happened to him. As does her sister, I assume.''

Again, I could care less about this fact. Assef gently placed his hand on my back. ''I wish we could have gone to the funeral. Just to see how Stella and Mama would have behaved around each other,'' I admitted.

Assef looked at me. ''Wouldn't you react the same way if that was your child?'' he asked.

I shook my head vigorously. ''There isn't a person in this world that I could ever love and care for more than you. Nothing in this world that would ever make me fall out with you the way that Stella fell out with Mama. Nothing,'' I told him truthfully. My brother grinned at me and pulled me close.

''Such a sweet thing for you to say, kiddo. You know I feel the same way. I loved you from the moment you were born and Father placed you in my arms.'' We both smiled at each other. I could see the gates of the school getting closer.

The other girls ran past us, giggling and laughing like the retards they were. My grip on Assef's hand immediately tightened as my jaw set in anticipation and nervousness. 'What the fuck is _wrong_ with you, Saria? You blinded one of these bitches. You don't have to be afraid of anyone!' I scolded myself. Still, maybe it was just the feeling of knowing one day one of these girls would push me too far and I would lose my temper with disastrous consequences. The fear that I held of losing control and implicating either myself or worse my older brother.

Gulping, I took another few tentative steps toward the large iron gates. I was the only girl who wasn't running around or shouting. Assef stopped right outside the gate. ''Well, I'll leave you here, kiddo. Have a good day. I'll wait right here for you when you get out.'' I'll admit there was a part of me that desperately wanted to throw my arms around my brother's waist, cry and beg to be taken home. I steeled myself and began to walk away.

''Goodbye!'' Assef called after me. I turned and waved at him. I set my shoulders straight ahead and continued in my journey. Adia trotted up to my side like the obedient dog she is.

''Hello, Saria. How are you? I've missed you,'' she rattled off the words that she knew were expected of her.

''How are you, my dear?'' I asked.

She bit her lower lip. ''Um, I'm fine, Saria,'' she stuttered. Ah, yes, I was in total control here. With this new-found confidence I strutted through the playground with my bitch at my side. She kept her eyes down as if afraid that I would strike.

''How has school been?'' I asked. ''Nobody has been giving you any trouble, have they?''

She shook her head. ''No. No t-trouble. Everybody has been super nice to me,'' she stuttered. Just as I was about to answer, something slammed into me and knocked me right into the ground. I tumbled forward into my knees.

''Well, well, look who's finally come back,'' came the familiar voice of Ahtrai. What did I say? I knew she would be like this. Adia immediately tensed beside me as I lat there, cornered like a wild animal in a zoo.

Ahtrai bent forward, her hands on her knees. ''There now, Saria. Stay lying on the ground like the filthy dog that you are!'' she said maliciously. I grabbed Adia's arm and pulled myself to my feet.

''You're _really_ pushing me, Ahtrai,'' I snarled at her. She looked at me like a wild bull about to charge. I faced her head on.

''You don't scare me, Saria. You think you're so tough but you're not.'' How many times did I have to put this girl in her place before she learned? I knew that I couldn't lose control here, or I could possibly be seriously implicated.

''If you know what's good for you, Ahtrai, you'll stay the fuck out of my way from now on.'' A few of Ahtrai's friends had now joined us. One of them tugged the girl's arm.

''Come on, Ahtrai. She's not worth it. Please. I don't want to g-get in trouble.'' The ugly cow nodded and passed by me without another word. I had to bite my tongue to keep from screaming obscenities at her. I really wanted the last word. Without another word from either Ahtrai or myself, we entered the school for lessons to begin. No also we had I entered the classroom then Mullah Fahsir Khan beckoned me over with his finger. I stood in front of him with my eyes downcast. The obedient child.

''Yes? I'm not in trouble or anything like that, am I?'' I asked timidly.

He shook his head. ''No, nothing like that Saria, I just wanted to talk to you. How about you and I step out into the hall?''

'How about you piss off?' I thought to myself but of course was unable to say this. I grudgingly followed the Mullah outside to the long yet deserted hallway. He shot straight to the point. ''I heard about what happened to your cousin. I am so sorry, Saria. It must be hard for you to handle.''

I nodded, sniffling slightly. ''Yes, it's been tough. I still can't believe that he's gone. But I'm okay, really. I've got my family. We're all helping each other through it,'' I made my voice crack a bit as I said this.

Mullah Fahsir Khan placed a gentle hand upon my shoulder. ''Your father told me what happened to him. How he fell down the stairs. Such a terrible tragedy.''

''Fahrsan's not suffering anymore,'' I spoke innocently. ''He's gone to heaven and he's an angel now. That's what I like to believe.'' Fuck it, I should win an award for my acting.

''As I said, your father mentioned it to me. You just take it easy today, Saria. Don't even worry about paying attention. And you know that my door is always open should you need to talk. About anything.''

Of course, the only person I ever wanted to confide in was Assef, but I nodded solemnly and thanked him anyway. ''You're a sweet kid, Saria.'' Were his final words to me before we both stepped back into the classroom. I took my seat next to Adia as the little cow stared at me in confusion.

''What was that about?'' she asked. I whipped around to glare at her.

''None of your fucking business, that's what. Now shut your mouth before I shut it _for_ you,'' I hissed. She immediately obeyed and scooted away from me in her seat. I turned my head to face the Mullah's desk and smirked slightly.

Ahtrai glared at me as I looked in her general direction. I leaned in and whispered in my bitch's ear. ''Where's Ara?'' I asked her.

Adia looked at me sadly. ''She's been moved to another class,'' she told me. ''A special class for girls with disabilities.''

She looked at me with confusion. ''Why?''

I smiled at her. ''No reason.'' There was no doubt in my mind that she knew who was responsible for Ara's blinding. Not that she could ever say it. The lessons began swiftly. My thoughts were drawn away from what the Mullah was saying as I fantasised about the things that I could do to Ahtrai.

I lay my head down on the desk and had quite a nice fantasy about slicing Ahtrai open and using her rib bones as a fucking xylophone or something. Mullah Fahsir Khan didn't even seem to notice that I wasn't paying him any mind, but that didn't seem to matter either way, seeing as how he'd already told me to take it easy today.

I eventually dozed off. A while later, I was suddenly startled awake as the bell rang for lunch. I groggily sat up and made my way out into the playground, tailed of course by Adia. No sooner had I settled down and began eating my lunch then who walked over but that cunt Ahtrai.

She tossed my sandwich onto the ground and stamped on it. Rather a childish thing to do if you ask me. She sneered at me as she did so. A crowd seemed to have gathered around us as she waited for me to retaliate. I knew that she just wanted to get a reaction from me. Adia immediately came to my aid like a good slave should.

''Why can't you just leave Saria alone, Ahtrai? She's my friend and I don't like you being mean to her.'' Ahtrai made to slap Adia, which caused her to shrink back in on herself.

''Made you flinch!'' Ahtrai teased. Her little friends laughed.

''If you're looking for a fight then go somewhere else,'' I informed her. ''I have better things to do.'' She hissed at me like a cat. I just sat there and looked blankly at her. It took all of my inner strength to not retaliate.

Trust me, every bone in my body ached to put her in her place. All one day though. All in due time. It took a few minutes but eventually the girl turned on her heel and left me alone. Wise move. I angrily kicked Adia in the shin and she whimpered in pain. I needed a human punching bag to take my frustrations out on. The little bitch cowered away from me and squeezed her eyes shut as though afraid that I would strike her. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply.

''Just leave me the fuck alone, you little bitch. Go away.'' She obediently took her leave as I buried my head in my palms. Students whizzed past me laughing. The little cunts were really getting on my nerves now. It was so hard to keep my cool and stop from lashing out at one of them. I could only remind myself of the repercussions that I was going to face. The rest of the day passed by without much fuss. I was fucking elated to be going home. I packed my bag hurriedly and raced out into the hall.

I didn't want to keep my older brother waiting. The other girls seemed as delighted as I was to be leaving. I slung my bag over my shoulder and trekked outside. The sun was blinding this afternoon as I walked past the other girls. They paid me no mind as I trudged along. I didn't know where Adia was but I couldn't give a fuck either. I spotted Assef waiting up ahead and broke into a run. He smiled at me as I flung my arms around his waist.

''ASSEF!'' I shrieked in joy, clinging to him, not wanting to let go. He laughed and stroked my hair.

''And good afternoon to you, kiddo. Did you have a good day today?'' He held me tightly and stroked my hair.

''As good a day as I could ever have,'' I admitted. I took Assef's hand and we began to walk away. He seemed happy about something though I didn't know what. ''What's up, Assef?'' I asked, bouncing up and down.

Assef smiled and held my hand tight. ''I think Mother and Father have a surprise for you. They were talking about it all this morning.''

''Oh? And what could it be?'' I asked.

''I know, sport, but I'm not saying. You'll like it though. I promise.'' Now my interest was peaked. I practically begged my older brother to tell me about my surprise, but to no avail. He was keeping his mouth shut. Nothing I said or did could change that. I was hanging on his every word.

What was it he was hiding from me? Why was he being so secretive? My brother and I were so close that I know it killed him to keep this from me. ''Tell me! Tell me!'' I begged.

Assef shook his head. ''No. Not telling.'' He reached out and tickled my stomach. ''Now stop asking.'' I giggled in delight. He squeezed my shoulder and we continued homeward. Mama and Papa stood waiting for us at the gate. They were both in on this as well. Papa picked me up in his arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

''Hey, there's my baby girl!'' he said. ''Your big brother tell you about your surprise?''

I nodded. ''Yes, but he kept his mouth shut. What is it? Please tell me, the suspense is _killing_ me!'' I looked at each of them in turn.

''Oh.. Okay then,'' Papa resigned himself. ''You know your little friend, Amir?'' I nodded, already liking where this is going.

I smiled. ''Yes?''

''Well, Yusef offered to take you and Amir on an overnight trip to Jalalabad.'' I screamed in delight and bounced up and down like someone on drugs. This was real and genuine. My emotions were haywire.

''Yes! Thank you! I would _love_ to!'' The thought of seeing my beloved Amir again was euphoric. A sudden, terrible thought entered my mind.

''Is Hassan coming too?'' I asked.

''No, Yusef says he's sick at the moment. He's staying home.''

I nodded sadly. ''That's sad. I hope he gets better soon.'' I smiled at my brother and hugged both my parents around the waists. I made sure they knew I was elated.

''They're going to collect you at four this afternoon. Go on upstairs and pack some clothes, little one,'' Mama said, placing a hand on my head. I ran upstairs, shrieking in joy. I had to put on the show of the delighted, grateful child. I reached my room and began dancing around with pure, unbridled joy. Finally I was going to spend time with my beloved Amir again. Get the chance to see him after so long. And that cunt Hassan wouldn't be around either. Brilliant!

I hurriedly packed one of my long nightgowns (this covered my ass, didn't want a repeat of Adia's house) and a change of clothes and panties. Assef entered the room, grinning at my enthusiasm.

''Didn't I tell you you'd be happy, kiddo?'' I hugged him around the waist and let the tears fall.

''I'm going to miss you, though.''

Assef was understanding.''It's only for one night, kiddo. You'll have a great time.'' He kissed me on the cheek and pulled away from me. ''Mother's making lentil soup for us. Come on.'' I followed him out of the room and downstairs into the kitchen. We sat down at the table where our mother placed two piping hot bowls of lentil soup out in front of us.

''Thank you,'' I chimed. She brushed it off and left the room. Probably to cry over her nephew's death. I looked at the clock. 3:45 PM. This was going to be the best Friday! I hurriedly ate my soup and placed the bowl in the sink.

''I can't wait!'' I shouted in excitement, clasping my hands in anticipation. Assef laughed at my enthusiasm, ruffling my hair. About fifteen minutes later, I heard a knock on the door and hollered with delight. I ran to answer it.

''AMIR JAN!'' I shrieked, hugging the older boy. ''I've missed you!'' This was no denying the raw, passionate emotions that I felt for this very cute boy in front of me.

''I, um, I missed you too, Saria,'' he said. I looked over his shoulder and spotted his father waiting for us in a rather large truck. I cocked my head to the side. ''That's a big car for just us two.'' I said.

My Amir nodded sheepishly. ''Well, uh, there's some... other people coming too.'' He told me. He wasn't fucking kidding! Dozens of fucking people sat in those trucks... And yes, there was _three_ of the damn things. I rode with my Amir, his father Yusef, Homayoun, with his two wives and twin girls, and Rahim Khan, an old friend of Yusef's.

I noticed that my Amir was oddly quiet, but thought nothing more of it. Perhaps he just had something on his mind. What that was would shock me, but I'll get to it later. He sat sandwiched between those twins and I sat opposite him, my eyes downcast. Now more than ever I had to pull off the roll of sweet and innocent Saria. I couldn't let myself do anything they would see as suspicious. The journey to Jalalabad was a two hour trek across rough terrain. About half way there, I heard Amir ask one of the twins, Karima, I think, if he could sit by the window.

''No,'' she responded rather rudely. Amir sighed and placed a hand on his temple. ''Okay but don't blame me when I get sick on your dress.'' He told the little girl. She didn't have a response for this. I missed my older brother. Much as I was happy to spend time with Amir, I still wanted Assef to be here too. Did Hassan tell Amir about the rape? I wondered. The memory of it made me giggle. Yusef attempted to get his son's attention by clicking his fingers.

Amir's head snapped up. ''What is it, Baba?'' he asked.

Yusef grinned at his son. ''I was just telling everyone about the tournament,'' he said. Everyone looked in Amir's general direction, grinning. ''There must have been about a hundred kites in the sky that day, wasn't there?'' Amir shifted uncomfortably.

''I guess so,'' he mumbled.

Yusef chortled and smacked his hand on the steering wheel. ''A hundred kites, Homayoun jan. No laaf. And the last kite in the sky was Amir's. He has it at home, a beautiful blue kite. Hassan and Amir ran it together.''

''Congratulations, Amir jan!'' I exclaimed, clapping my hands together in an endearing gesture. The smile on my face was real. It was the memory of what Assef had done to Hassan. I bounced up and down on my seat, putting on the show of a little girl who was delighted at her friend's accomplishments.

The van was suddenly filled with loud, overexcited chatter as everyone congratulated young Amir on his winning the kite tournament. Amir's face turned an unpleasant shade of yellow. He leaned his head against one of the twin's shoulders. ''Please pull over, Baba,'' he begged. Yusef looked back in the rear view mirror.

''What?'' he asked.

''Getting sick,'' Amir replied, then clamped his mouth shut.

I felt sympathy for who I hoped would one day become my future husband. That seven year old cow Fazilal shoved Amir away from her, cringing in disgust. ''Please pull over, Kaka,'' she squealed. ''His face is yellow. I don't want him throwing up on my new dress.''

Yusef sighed and began to pull over. Amir retched a number of times, and finally, he vomited quite a bit all over Fazilal's new dress. She yelped in disgust and began to sob. ''Right. Everyone out so we can air out the van.'' We all soon found ourselves sitting at the side of the road.

Fazilal continued to sob like a little bitch. ''My dress. My _dress!_ '' she wailed.

''We'll buy you another one in Jalalabad.'' Her father tried reassuring her. I was sure I was going to deck the girl if I stayed any longer. I found my way over to Amir.

''You okay?'' I asked in genuine concern. He nodded.

''Just... Car sickness,'' he said. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and lay my head against his. You see, I'm not a total monster. I am capable of caring for someone besides my older brother. Although the love I held for Amir still paled in comparison to the love that I had for Assef.

I gently kissed him on the forehead, drawing him in close to me. ''We're nearly there anyway, Saria. I'll be alright.'' Something was seriously up with him. But what? Amir pulled back from me and started making his way back to the van. If I didn't know why better, I'd say that he was avoiding me. Why?

Homayoun's house was almost as big as mine. There was a row of hedges that apparently the gardener could cut to look like animals. I sat on a nearby chair, watching the younger girls play hide and seek. My Amir dangled his legs into the empty pool. Every time that I tried to get near him he would avoid me like the fucking plague. This was beginning to piss me off. Saria Ahmed is not someone who can just be ignored. I turned on my heel and skipped back inside the house. I found my way over to the couch, sat down, picked up a book and began reading.

I lost myself in my own thoughts as the smells of dinner from the kitchen wafted through and into my nostrils. 'What the fuck is your PROBLEM, Amir?' I thought to myself. I hoped the boy would see sense and show me more respect. Either that or I'd have to get my brother to deal with him. I didn't want this.

Karima found her way over to me. 'Great. Just great,' I thought. ''Hi! Sara?'' she asked.

''It's Saria,'' I corrected her. God, this cow was annoying.

''Are you coming to play hide and seek?'' she asked me. I had no intention of partaking in such a childish game. I shook my head.

''No. I'm just going to read.'' The child nodded and seen herself out. I resumed my reading. Nobody else bothered me and that was how I liked it. Alone with my thoughts. Us girls served the men their dinner later that evening then retreated back to the kitchen. I soon found myself preened over by a group of irritating bitches who kept cooing to me about how sweet I was.

It was as if no child more adorable on the Earth existed to them. It honestly makes me laugh the way people can love me. If only they knew better. I continued to effortlessly soak up their praise. To bask in their affections. It was all just a show for these fools. It was about nine o clock when we women were sent up to bed. I didn't really mind this, however. The sooner I got to sleep the sooner that I could go home and see my brother again.

I changed into my nightgown and settled down for the night in the bed I was to inhabit. I tossed and turned for hours while the twins laughed and slapped at each other. 'God shut _up_! I should put a pillow over both their ugly faces. That'd make them be quiet.' I thought in glee. It was with this satisfying thought in my mind that I eventually drifted into slumber...

I woke a few hours later to the sound of thunder. I sat up in bed. My eyes darted every which way. ''Assef?'' I said. I must have been thinking of him. 'Assef's not here,' I reminded myself. 'Fuck this, I need a drink.' I swung myself up out of bed and tiptoed out into the hall, making sure not to make a sound. The first stair creaked as I placed my foot on it.

'Shit! Please don't let anyone have heard that,' I thought desperately. I didn't want anyone making a fuss of why I was up so late. I continued to sneak down the stairs. About half way down, I noticed my Amir stirring in his sleep.

I crouched down and peered through the bars on the banister. He sat up suddenly, looking all around him. I continued to sit quietly, waiting, watching. Amir looked at his sleeping father. The next words out of his mouth nearly floored me.

''I watched Hassan get raped.''


	21. Manipulating Amir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In chapter 20, Saria was shocked to learn that Amir had witnessed Assef raping Hassan. Now we continue with the same night...

Every muscle in my body locked into place. My heart began to beat so loudly that I was one hundred per cent certain that it was going to burst forth from my chest, spraying the walls with blood and gore. The thought would have been funny, had I not been so shocked at the moment. I stayed kneeling where I was, half way down the stairs, my nightgown barely giving me any protection against that cool night air. Especially because of the thunder storm that was raging outside.

I shivered, whether because of the storm or what I just heard I don't know, and let out a loud gasp. I immediately covered my mouth with my hands. 'Stupid. Fucking _stupid_ Saria! Be quiet!' I thought to myself angrily. ' _Don't_ make problems for yourself!' I inwardly chastised myself. I glanced about the room, desperately trying to find out whether anybody had seen me. None of the other men, save for my Amir, had stirred, and even he had settled back down to slumber.

The wind howled like an angry wolf outside, loud and furious. I wondered briefly whether anybody upstairs had taken notice of the fact that I was gone. How long had I been down here for? Time seemed to have certainly gotten away with me. I clenched my fists and bit down hard on my knuckles to stop myself from swearing left right and centre. I stared at my Amir as he slept soundly. He was so adorable, twitching in his sleep. I wondered what he was dreaming about.

Another loud boom of thunder nearly sent me tumbling down the stairs in shock. I accidentally hit my toe off the bannister and hissed in pain. ''Ah, _fuck_!'' I muttered under my breath. I rubbed my foot vigorously, tears welling up in my eyes.

I honestly didn't really know what these tears were actually for. I took another look back up the stairs.''Now why the fuck was I coming down here anyway?'' I asked myself. I thought about it. ''Ah, yes. A drink. Right.'' I got up from my sitting position as I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. The kitchen sink was still filled with the leftovers of last night.

Bits of food clogged the drains, and dirty plates were stacked high at the side of the sink. I gagged in disgust and rolled my eyes at their disgusting behaviours. ''Fucking pigs. Do they think it would kill them to do even a tiny bit of cleaning?'' I thought to myself in frustration as I attempted to find a clean glass to drink out of.

I'm actually a very tidy person and kept my things spotless. Untidiness and laziness such as I was seeing here irked me to no end. I eventually pulled a tall, clear glass out of a nearby cupboard. The tap hissed noisily when I turned it on, water spraying everywhere. I stamped my feet and jumped up and down in frustration. ''You've got to be fucking kidding me! Does nothing _work_ in this house?'' I swore. ''What, did a fucking Hazara build this or something?'' I thought viciously.

I took my glass, filled it to the brim with water, and began chugging back huge gulps. To be honest, my throat was so dry I thought that I was going to fucking starting choking.I glanced up at the old clock tick-tocking behind me on the wall. 6:45. If I was at home now I quite possibly would have crawled into the bed with my brother. That was often what I did when something troubled my mind and I couldn't sleep. Not that Assef ever minded me doing so. He was always telling me that if I ever had a problem I should go to him.

I wouldn't go to any other person with _anything_ either. Not even my own parents. Assef has been more of a parental figure to me than they ever could be anyway. Yes, it does seem strange that two siblings with only five or so years in age difference between them would have such a relationship, but that was how it had always been. Unfortunately, however, my brother was not here at this time. He was probably sleeping soundly at home, not even worrying about anything. Not in the way that I was right now anyway. I took one last glance at that disgusting kitchen, and made my way out. I made sure to close the door behind me as I did so.

I tiptoed barefoot towards the stairs, my hands clasped right around the glass, hugging it tight to my chest so that it wouldn't spill. I held it as tentatively as one would a newborn baby. Didn't want to get in trouble over spilt fucking water now, did I? Although, perhaps somebody would slip if I _did_ spill it. Perhaps one of those twins would break a limb or two.

I chortled to myself at the thought. I passed by Amir, still deep in his sleep. Little things like the way his nose crinkled and he moaned in his sleep were so endearing to me. I wanted to curl up beside him and hold him in my arms. To hold him and love him the way he deserved. All one day though. I knew that we would be walking down the aisle some day. Or was this just me trying to lead myself into some false sense of security? I truly hoped not. I bent down and gently placed a kiss on his forehead. He didn't stir, and to my betterment I suppose.

I walked back up the stairs, quiet as a mouse and slid back into bed. Nobody else had awoken it seemed. Even the hell twins Fazilal and Karima were both silent. Just how I liked it. I took another huge swig of water and gently placed the glass on the floor by my bed. I lay awake just listening to the sounds of the rain and thunder outside.

Every now and again I would spot a flash of lightning outside the window. I rolled my eyes at the weather. As soon as my head hit the pillow, the thoughts began to race once again. It seemed I couldn't get a fucking break from them. Of course, the thought that was at the forefront of my mind in this time was undoubtedly what I had just heard down stairs. What my Amir had just said. 'I watched Hassan get raped.' The words resounded in my mind, echoing in my brain.

The thoughts were reverberating through my mind. It seemed that no matter how hard I tried to push them out, they just kept coming back in. I tossed and turned in the bed, trying my very best to go back to sleep. Fazilal belched in her sleep, snorted, and rolled over onto her stomach.

''Disgusting pig,'' I mumbled under my breath. I wished once again that Assef were here. Perhaps then I would have been able to sleep. Or maybe not. I closed my eyes. I still couldn't get Amir's words out of my head. Were they true? Had he _really_ been there when Assef raped Hassan? I knew they had to be true. Who would lie about something like that? I can read people very well and I was certain that his words were one hundred percent truth. They were as real as the sun and moon. I bit my lip as I tried once again to process them. Amir must have been there.

And he must have been hiding somewhere in the alley. That must be why neither Assef nor I saw him there. And if he did see it, then WHY didn't he do anything? I mean, _yes_ , he would have faced a dreadful punishment from my brother for standing up to him, but that still doesn't explain the fact that he didn't try to help Hassan. I thought that they were friends. They certainly seemed to be close when I had the unfortunate pleasure of having the two in my home three months ago. It was easy to tell that the retarded Hassan absolutely hero-worshipped Amir. That he cared for him more than anybody else on this planet.

The two seemed to have a much different relationship than the normal 'Master-Servant' relationship. They were most definitely friends, if not closer. Perhaps as close as brothers. I swallowed back bile at the thought. I gagged in disgust. How could _anybody_ touch someone like Hassan, with his Chinese face, his round, bald head and those eyes. I felt like cutting off my hand every time I had to touch Hamilra, the family Hazara.

I honestly couldn't understand why somebody would want to have one of those things as a friend. A servant, yes. That was about the only thing those things were good for. That, and to physically and sexually abuse them for shits and giggles. They were not so much human as they were actually animals in clothing. They were an absolute abomination and should of course be treated as such. That was what Assef had taught me. Afghanistan was the land of the Pashtuns.

It always _will_ be. Hazara people were the alien. The enemy. They had to be wiped out for the sake of Pashtuns everywhere. Now why on Earth would my Amir want to be friends with one of those things? It puzzled me. It truly did. 'But maybe.. Amir doesn't care for Hassan as much as he likes to make out.' I thought to myself. I know that there was no way in high hell that I could ever just sit back and watch if somebody were to be hurting my brother.I would fight tooth and nail to make sure that he was safe. No matter the danger. If someone dared to lay a finger on my brother then they would pay a hefty price for it.

That price being their lives. I would die a thousand deaths to protect Assef, and I know that he would do the same for me. That was what you did when you cared about someone. You risked everything to protect them. If Amir had sat idly by and allowed Assef to rape and torture Hassan in the way that he did, then that only _proved_ my point that he didn't give two shits about the boy. Perhaps he was in the same mindset as me. Would I perhaps discover that my Amir held a heart as cold as mine? That his psyche was just as damaged?

I pondered this for quite some time. Perhaps hours. I debated everything that those words meant. Obviously I couldn't tell Amir that I had heard him. I had no fucking clue as to how he would react. Oh my God, did he _see_ me there? Was that why he had been ignoring me and being so fucking difficult? I shook my head.

No. If he had, surely he would have mention it to me. Or why would he even have invited me up here tonight? I massaged at my temple. This constant worrying was giving me a headache. 'That rape was one of the best things that Assef ever did for me. And now I'm fretting over it? Fuck this. _Fuck this_. I'm going back to sleep. I'll ask Assef what he thinks when I see him later. He'll know what to do,' I thought to myself.

I closed my eyes and once again fell asleep. It was about nine or so the next morning when I arose to the sound of Karima bouncing on my bed. ''Get up, Saria! Get up, Saria!'' she giggled. I fixed her the cold and deathly glare that I am known for. She grinned stupidly at me.

''Not a morning person, are ya? It's okay. Neither is my mommy,'' she informed me. ''Well anyway, we're leaving in about twenty or so minutes so come on and get dressed.''

I glanced out the window, divulging myself in a lovely fantasy of pushing this bitch out and watching her fall to her death. I do _not_ like being bossed around by a seven year old. I covered my mouth and giggled at the thought of tying both twins together and forcing them to shit in each other's mouths.

Karima cocked her head to the side, her hands on her hips. She actually reminded me quite a bit of Adia when she did this. I wondered how my bitch was doing. ''Um, why are you laughing?'' That cunt asked. As per usual I was able to make up a lie on the spot for her. It wasn't even that much of a lie anyhow.

''I'm excited to go back home to see my brother again,'' I told her.

She nodded at this statement. ''Yes. You must miss him. Amrit, was it?'' Just like with me, she managed to get my brother's name wrong

''It's Assef, Karima, and yes I do miss him quite a bit.'' A brief look of uncertainty crossed her eyes when I said Assef's name. She bit her lip and scrutinised me. I know she was thinking what Adia thought when we first met. That Assef and I looked very much alike with our distinctive hair and eye colour. I was proud of this fact. I liked looking like my brother.

Karima was now sitting on the edge of the bed. She swung her feet back and forth. I reached out a hand to stop her, looking at the half-full glass at her feet. ''Be careful. You don't waht to spill water everywhere. Now, Karima, can I ask a big favour? Will you take this downstairs for me and put it in the kitchen? Do you think you could do that?''

She nodded. ''Thank you. You're such a good help,'' I said in that patronising manner one uses when speaking to a young child.

She bent down and picked up the glass. ''You _need_ to get dressed so we can go.'' Were the words she barked at me before she left me to my own devices in that room.

I rolled my eyes. ''I shouldn't be taking orders from a seven year old. Who the fuck does she think she is?'' I angrily muttered under my breath as I got up out if bed.

''I should jab a pin right through her fucking eyes. That'd teach her to fuck around with me.'' I took out my cream dress from the bag I had packed last night and hurriedly changed into it.

I brushed my hair rapidly. ''Fuck!'' I exclaimed every time that I would come across and tangle in my hair. It took fucking effort to look this good every day. All part of that charming little lie though.

That ploy to seem as sweet as possible. I had to keep it up for obvious reasons. I fixed my headband back on my hair and looked in the mirror. 'Not bad, Saria. Actually quite pretty. Now remember, keep your cool around Amir.' I knew that I would do this anyway. When did I _ever_ slip up? A true sociopath can easily lie and manipulate others. I guess that I fit the bill there.

I slid my blue overcoat on over my tiny frame, placed my rucksack on my bag and left the room. I didn't even bother to make the bed. Someone else would do that. Surely the family had a servant or something like that. I skipped down the stairs, humming to myself. Only two more hours and I could go home. That is, provided that Amir didn't get car sick again. That was something he would _need_ to work on before we got married.

Well there would be plenty of years for that. I entered the living room where everyone was sitting around waiting. ''Ah, so I see that sleeping beauty has awoken,'' some old bat teased. I had no clue who the fuck she was to be honest. She reminded me a bit of Adia's grandmother, Yuri. Or wrinkled cow as I now called her.

I nodded at this woman's words. ''I do hope I wasn't keeping you all _too_ long,'' I said demurely.

Yusef shook his head. ''Not at all, Saria. Not at all. You're a growing girl, you need your rest after all,'' he told me matter of factly. I almost rolled my eyes at this statement.

I looked over at Amir. He gave me a small, sad smile and looked away. I had to figure out what to do with him. I _had_ to. Yusef clapped his hands together. ''Right. Everyone into the truck and we'll start heading for home. It's probably going to take us an hour or so longer than usual because we have to drop everybody off at their homes.''

I honestly felt like throwing a huge temper tantrum at this statement. Not unlike the one I has thrown at Adia's house. An extra fucking hour? _Se_ _riously_? I just wanted to go _home_! 'Fuck it. Perhaps I shouldn't have come.' I thought to myself with total frustration.

That was just the way it was with my personality though. Always drifting into the fucking negative. Still I kept my smile. Fazilal however immediately began complaining to her mother. ''I don't wanna have to sit next to Amir. Okay? I don't wanna! What if he gets sick _again_ on my new dress?''

God, did this bitch not have _any_ sympathy? Alright, I know that I can be accused of the same flaw, but I _do_ show caring towards some people. Specifically Amir and my brother. The little bitch of a cunt continued to whine. ''Mama! Where am I going to _sit_?'' she half-shrieked. She really didn't want to sit next to Amir.

I hurriedly jumped into diffuse the situation. ''Um, you can have my spot. If you like. I'll sit next to Amir.''

''Thank you, Saria. That saves us all a lot of hassle.'' She turned to her daughter. ''Now what do you say to Saria?'' she pushed.

''Thank you Saria.'' I brushed off her thanks with an artificial smile. I just wanted to know what my Amir thought of my offer. Perhaps it was just how I was today but I honestly couldn't read him. I followed Amir out into the blinding light of the sun.

The storm from last night seemed to have let up but that was certainly not the case for the turbulent storm in my mind. Amir and myself hung back as the others all piled into the car. I decided to make conversation with the older boy.

''You haven't been up in my house for a while,'' I stated matter-of-factly.

He shook his head at this statement. ''No. Well, I've just been busy.''

I rolled my eyes playfully at this. ''Well, I know how that feels. But you _do_ have to come and play with me again. You and Hassan of course.''

His mood immediately changed when I said Hassan's name. He bit his lower lip and averted my gaze. I decided I would simply feign concern at this point. ''Oh, um, is everything okay?'' I asked. ''I mean, between you and Hassan. You're not fighting are you?'' I waited for his answer. I have a way of getting people to talk. My charm does that for me.

He sighed deeply. ''Well.. Actually.. We've just not been seeing eye to eye lately. It's nothing really,'' he said.

I placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. ''You can tell me if you like,'' I offered. He hesitated for a moment. I knew he was contemplating whether or not to do so.

He shook his head. ''No, I don't know, maybe he's just being difficult. He seems to be bugging me more than usual lately.''

I cocked my head to the side. ''Well... Have you tried talking to him?'' I asked.

Amir nodded. ''Yes I have but he just doesn't seem to understand. I don't know,'' he admitted.

''Well, maybe you just need to tell him more sternly,'' I said. ''I mean, of someone's doing something that makes you unhappy, Amir jan, then you have to tell them, and you _have_ to be firm about it. Even if it's a friend. Don't ever let anyone treat you with less than the respect you deserve. Do you understand this?'' I advised him.

He nodded. ''Yes, yes, thanks, Saria jan. I understand what you're saying. I'm going to have to talk to Hassan. Yes. Just to straighten things out,'' he muttered to himself. We got into the truck. I knew better than to approach the subject any further with everyone else in earshot. Karima leaned across in her seat to give me a hug. I knew that the child genuinely cared for me. She wanted an older friend of sorts to play with and look after her. I could never be that person for her. I hated this child with every fibre of my being. My arms came up from my sides to awkwardly pat her on the back.

I held her in a loose embrace, wishing I could move my hands up and around her neck. That I could throttle her. I entertained the fantasy of smashing her little head against the wall of the truck and watching her bleed out at my feet. I smiled as I embraced the child. Homayoun smiled back at me. He seemed delighted that his daughter had found a new friend. Nobody had any idea that the sweet smile on my face was actually a smile filled with malicious intent.

Filled with horrific, violent fantasies of the things I would like to do to his daughter. Yusef revved up the engine and reversed out of the drive. Karima slid herself out of my embrace and back next to her sister and parents. The bratty twins both stuck their tongues out at each other. Quite childish if you ask me. The air was soon filled with loud, obnoxious chatter as we began to drive down the road. Only Amir and myself were silent. I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, biting my lip in an innocent and sweet gesture.

I would love to have kissed him. I blushed at the thought of it. I wished so badly that I could kiss him. We would be together one day. I hoped so at least. Amir was deep in silence for the duration of the journey. He simply grunted replies to anyone who tried to ask him a question or to invite him into their conversations. I could tell that Yusef was getting rather irked at his son's rude behaviour. Especially towards his elders who should be treated with utmost respect. But what could he do?

He just fixed his attention on the road and continued driving. Every so often he would look back at Amir in the rear view mirror and click his tongue in disappointment. I just hoped that nobody would bring up the topic of the kite fighting tournament again. We didn't need another car sickness accident.

I can't fucking say how delighted I was when we dropped the demon twins off home. They were the second last stop before mine. Fazilal couldn't wait to get out of the truck and she jumped right out without so much as a thank you. I could hear her father scolding her for this fact as she went cantering up towards her small, white fence.

Karima looked at me, her eyes bright with excitement. She clasped her hands under her chin as though in prayer. ''You'll come and play with us again some time, won't you, Saria?'' she asked.

I nodded. ''Yes, certainly. I would love to!'' I exclaimed in false excitement.

Do I even need to say how much I would loathe having to spend time with either of these girls? Although if I was forced to do so you can bet they'd be as brutally hurt as Adia often is. I smirked to myself at the thought.

After another twenty or so minutes, we finally, _finally_ pulled up outside my home. I genuinely was fucking elated to see it again. Yusef parked up the truck and got out, followed closely by Amir and myself. I spotted Papa watching me from an upstairs window. He disappeared from view and then reappeared a few mere moments later at the front door. He unhooked the latch and opened it to welcome me home. ''Papa!'' I squealed excitedly, hugging him round the waist.

''There's my little girl. Did you have a good time? She wasn't any trouble, was she?'' he asked of Yusef.

Yusef shook his head. ''No, no trouble at all, Mahmood. She was a perfect little angel.''

I placed my right leg behind my left, held out the sides of my coat and dipped a polite curtsy. This elicited a laugh from the adults. ''Thank you for having me. I truly enjoyed myself.''

Yusef nodded. ''Not a problem. It was our pleasure, wasn't it, Amir?'' The boy nodded but didn't say anything.

I turned my head to my father. ''Where's Assef?'' I asked.

''Up in his room. Go on up to him if you'd like.'' I took my leave and thundered up the stairs. I skipped my way to Assef's room. He stood with his back to me. I snuck up behind him and hugged him around the waist from behind.

''Guess who?'' I asked playfully.

Assef let out a slight gasp and turned around. ''God, kiddo you startled me!'' he exclaimed. He bent down and hugged me tightly. I returned his embrace, smiling to myself. ''Did you have a good time?'' Assef asked.

I nodded. ''I have something that I need to tell you.'' He nodded and sat down on the bed. I perched myself on my brother's lap.

''What's up, sister?''

''Well, last night, when I was in bed, I couldn't sleep so I went to get myself a drink.'' I looked up at my brother to make sure that he was listening.

''Yeah, go on.''

''I was going down the stairs and Amir woke up. And,'' I took a deep breath. ''He _saw_ , Assef. He was _there_.''

Assef looked at me in total confusion. ''He saw what, kiddo? You're going to have to be more specific. I haven't the faintest idea of what it is you're talking about,'' he said.

I sighed deeply. ''Amir saw you rape Hassan. He said so himself.''

Assef raised an eyebrow at this statement. ''Well now, that's certainly interesting, isn't it? So he didn't even bother to help his little fucktoy? Ha, maybe he's not as much of Hazara lover as I'd thought,'' he mused.

''He was ignoring me for pretty much the whole evening yesterday. That I don't like.''

Assef nodded sympathetically. ''I know, kiddo. You don't let that boy disrespect you. He needs to learn boundaries. You know that.''

I nodded. I hopped off my brother's knee. ''Wanna go and take a walk?'' I asked.

Assef nodded. ''Sure.'' He took my hand as we walked outside. Papa was still talking to Amir and Yusef.

''Oh, are you two going for a walk?'' asked Papa.

Assef nodded. ''Yes. We'll be back in about an hour or so. Nice to see you, Amir jan.'' Amir looked fearfully up at my brother but didn't answer him. His fear of Assef was so evident in his eyes. I thought it was actually quite endearing. Assef and I both walked away from the frightened young boy and out into the street.

As we walked, I thought about Adia and what she was doing right now. I wanted to find her and cause her pain just for the fuck of it. It was just how I was feeling today. ''Ara's gone to a special class,'' I told my brother. ''Adia told me yesterday.''

Assef's face fell slightly. ''Really? That's a pity kiddo. It would have been nice for you two to catch up.''

I giggled at this statement. As we passed the cafe that we normally ate in after a just because, I noticed a boy of about seventeen or so sitting staring at us. He was a few inches taller than Assef, with dark eyes, and a stocky build. I don't know why but the way he was looking at me sent a chill right up my spine.

I turned to Assef. ''Who is that?'' I asked in German.

''Farsef's brother, Aarash. He goes to school with me but he cuts class nearly all the time.'' Assef replied also in German.

I bit my lip and looked again at Aarash. He had really cold eyes. ''Come on,'' Assef told me in a gentle and loving voice. He drew me in close and led me away from Aarash. The boy genuinely sent chills right through every core of my being. I didn't know why this was. I decided that I would just forget about him from now on. Assef and I continued to walk. I held tightly to his hand and smiled widely, delighted to be spending time with the person who I loved and cherished most in this entire world.

Assef seemed happy to be spending time with me too. The sun blazed high above us in the clear blue sky. ''The fucking thunder storm kept me up half the night last night,'' I grumbled.

Assef smiled sympathetically. ''I should have come too. Then you could have stayed with me.''

I nodded. ''I wish you had been there. I would have had a _much_ better time,'' I said truthfully.

''Your Amir probably would have had a fit!'' Assef joked.

''Those bitches Karima and Fazilal really got on my nerves too,'' I told my brother. ''I think Karima wants to be my friend or something. Not that it's ever going to happen.'' I rolled my eyes at the statement.

''Oh, but you can never have too many friends, little sister. Too many bitches.'' I bit my lip and began to laugh uncontrollably. We trekked up the hill where the pomegranate tree was. As we were about half way up, I noticed Amir and Hassan sitting at the tree.

I put my hand out across Assef to stop him from waking any farther. ''Huh? What is it, kiddo?'' he asked. I looked up at the two boys ahead of us.

''Amir and Hassan,'' I said by way of answering his question. There were some bushes near to where we were.

I grabbed onto Assef's hand and we both ducked down, hiding from view. I strained to make out what my Amir was saying. He had a book in his hand and seemed to be reading to the illiterate Hassan. Every fibre of my being itched to torture that Hazara in ways more gruesome than a normal human being could possibly imagine.

If only I could. I peered through the bushes, all my focus on the boys up a mere twenty or so feet ahead of me. Amir bent down and picked up a pomegranate. He bounced it up and down a few times, but not once did he eat or attempt to eat it.

Instead he held the pomegranate out towards Hassan. ''What would you do if I hit you with this?'' I heard him ask. Hassan didn't have a response for this. He just stepped back from Amir, his eyes showing the obvious and total confusion that he felt.

I bit down on my tongue in anticipation that things were about to escalate. And escalate they did. Amir stared at Hassan head-on. ''What would you do?'' he asked again. When he didn't get a response, he hurled the fruit right at Hassan. Hassan gasped slightly, but other than that there was _no_ reaction.

No anger or frustration towards Amir. Amir picked up a handful of pomegranates and began throwing them one by one at Hassan. ''Hit me back!'' He yelled in utter desperation. ''HIT ME BACK GODDAMN YOU!'' I felt tears of absolute joy make their way down my face.

I shook with laughter and latched onto my brother's arm for support. Assef's attention was completely fixed on the boys up ahead of us. Again and again Hassan did nothing as Amir pelted him with fruit. ''You're a coward!'' Amir scolded his servant. ''Nothing but a goddamn _coward_!''

At this, Hassan stepped forward a bit, bent down and picked up a pomegranate. He walked towards Amir. 'Shit is really about to go down now.' I thought to myself. But Hassan didn't throw the fruit at Amir. Instead he opened it and crushed it against his own forehead, red fruit juice dripping down his face like blood.

''What in fuck's name?'' I heard Assef whisper to himself beside me. Amir swayed back and forth on his heels like a drunkard.

''There!'' Hassan croaked. ''Are you satisfied?'' he asked. ''Do you feel better now?'' With that, he walked calmly down the hill. Assef and I ducked further into the bushes, hiding ourselves from view.

Amir's legs finally gave way as he collapsed to the ground in tears. He rocked back and forth, hugging himself round the middle. ''What am I going to do with you, Hassan?'' He asked himself. ''What am I going to do with you?''

'I can think of a few ideas,' I thought devilishly. Amir stood up after a few moments and made his way down the hill after Hassan. Assef and I also took our leave. I was trembling with laughter as we made our way back home. Perhaps I was overreacting but that was honestly the funniest fucking thing I had ever seen in a long time.

As I sat once again in the confines of my brother's room, I couldn't stop thinking of what I had just seen. The day had long since turned into night and I was now dressed for bed in my long white nightgown. I rubbed at my eyes sleepily. I honestly couldn't believe what I had just witnessed. Maybe Amir doesn't care for Hassan at all? That was certainly how things were looking, wasn't it?

Or maybe it was my talk with Amir that had forced him to do this. I could give two shits either way. Amir _needed_ to learn that Hassan was nothing more than a filthy animal. Yawning, I slid into Assef's bed.

He looked at me in confusion. ''What are you doing?'' he asked.

''Going to sleep,'' I replied. Assef nodded, and got up to turn off the light.

''Alright, kiddo. You can sleep in here with me tonight if you want.'' He switched off the light and climbed back into bed. I snuggled up to my brother and wrapped my arm around his waist. ''I love you, Saria,'' he told me, kissing my forehead.

''I love you too, Assef,'' I replied. I snuggled closer to the one person I would ever truly love and care for, as I let my mind go blank of any thoughts. Easier said than done, mind you. I fell asleep in my brother's arms, content for once in my life.


	22. Birthday Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria succesfully managed to manipulate Amir once again. She was delighted to watch him throw pomegranates at the Hazara boy. Now, we find her getting ready for school again, but the memory of Amir's actions remain ingrained in her mind...

A good three or four months or so had passed since I had witnessed Amir pelting Hassan with pomegranates and it was now mid May of 1975. The events of a few months ago still often weighed heavily on my mind as I tried daily to make sense of what I had just witnessed. Why my Amir had reacted the way that he did. What had possessed him to throw the fruit at Hassan. Why Hassan had not even _once_ attempted to stand up for himself. Well I knew the answer to that question, anyhow. It was because, just like my Amir had said, Hassan was just a stupid coward. That's all. I sniggered to myself at the memory.

The red fruit juice dripping down Hassan's face like blood. Oh, how I wish it _had_ been blood! I wished I could split Hassan's skull right open and take a look at his brains (or, at least, the little brains that he has) and watch them ooze out of his skull and down his ugly face. I wanted to gauge out his eyeballs and choke him with them. To gut him like a fish. To hang him from his own intestines. To flay him alive. All wonderful fantasies that I would make reality in a heartbeat if I could. I thought about how Amir had pleaded and yelled for Hassan to hit him back. Why? Why would he want to be hit? Why would he want to give someone the power to hurt him? And especially a Hazara of all people.

It made absolutely no sense to me, and no matter how many times I tried to _make_ sense of it, to think of reasons why Amir would want to be hit by Hassan, I came up a blank every time. Even my brother, when I'd spoken to him about it, seemed to have no clue as to why Amir would have wanted that. He was just as confused as I was. It was a true conundrum. The sun was blazing in the open windows of the crowded classroom. Stupidly, I had decided to wear one of my cotton pinafores, the blue and white one with the heavy, itchy material. I wore a white shirt underneath it which was adorned with printed rose petals on the cuffs.

I had long since given up trying to plait my hair, the way I used to when I wore this outfit, (which still fucking fit me even though I've had it since I was nine or thereabouts) and had instead left my hair loose with just a matching blue ribbon clipped into the side. I must have looked absolutely fucking ridiculous, especially compared to the other girls who were dressed in skirts and t-shirts. Even my bitch, sitting beside me with her head down, looked a damn sight nicer than I did. Still, these dresses and ribbons are all a part of the game.

That deceptive little lie to make me seem as innocent and naive as possible. The game had to be played every day, irregardless of how fucking ridiculous I looked or felt. No matter how much of a fool that I must have looked like right at this very moment in time. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. The fucking chair was making the backs of my thighs itch.

I knew that I couldn't fucking scratch myself without seeming disrespectful and rude. 'Fucking chairs, you'd think they'd have better fucking things to sit on and especially since I have to be here for five fucking hours of the day,' I thought to myself. I almost wanted to lay my head down on the desk and go to sleep. I knew this was out of the question however.

Mullah Fahsir Khan had long since forgotten about what Papa had told him about Fahrsan. He wasn't going to give me the same treatment I had been receiving months ago. I was now being treated the same as any of the other girls and that meant I had to behave myself and try my best to pay attention, or at least pretend to do so.

I wouldn't get away with taking a nap now the way that I would have a few months ago. I glanced over at Adia. Her attention was fixed on what the Mullah was writing in chalk on the blackboard. She had moved her chair as far as she could into the corner of her desk. I knew she was just as fearful of me as she'd always been. She placed one hand on her stomach and held it there.

I wondered how well her stomach was healing up from when I'd burned her on my birthday. I knew it had to have healed pretty damn well now, but the scars I had left on her mind would never heal. They were eternal and indelible. I knew I must have caused some severe forms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Thinking this way made me wish that little Ara had not been moved to a special class. I wondered how she would react to seeing me again. I giggled to myself at the thought. Just the image of seeing her stumbling about and crashing into things. It would have been quite interesting to have a blind bitch to boss around and torture. I wondered whether Ara thought of me.

I knew that she must have. Years and years, even adulthood would not dull her memories of me. Of the severe beating that Assef and I had dolled out to her. I know that I say this about all of my victims but I really couldn't give a _shit_ about what happened to her. I couldn't care less whether she had lived or died.

Ara should count herself one of the lucky few who get to say that they fucked around with Saria Ahmed and lived to tell the tale. After all, we could very well have had another Zainab on our hands. Another little girl buried in the ground before her time. Adia caught me staring at her and bit down on her lip in fear. She slid further down into her seat, curling in on herself like a tortoise on its shell.

The way she reacted around me was so fucking hilarious that I almost pissed myself every time I watched it. I reached across and pinched the skin of her stomach. She let out a slight yelp and whimpered, doubling over. ''Come and sit next to me, Adia,'' I ordered. She didn't even hesitate as she moved her chair closer to mine. She truly was a slave to my every whim.

I placed my hand on her leg and dug my nails into the skin. Her reactions were fucking hilarious! She bit her lip and twitched. I knew she wanted to push my hand away from her. To stop me from causing her pain. Not that she would ever do such a thing. The fear that Adia had of me was evident in every core of her body. I could sense it like a shark sending blood in the water. I noticed young Delbar, the girl that I had walked home with once before, looking in our general direction. I smiled sweetly at her.

'Hmm, perhaps I could use her as another bitch,' I pondered to myself. Just like Assef had said, I could never have too many bitches. The little girl returned my smile and then focused her attention once more on the blackboard. I really wished I could physically harm her in much the same way I often did to Adia.

It was nothing personal against her, the girl had done nothing to me. It was honestly just the way that my personality was like. I viewed other human beings as objects and punching bags to use and abuse for my own amusement. With the exception of my brother and possibly Amir as well. Would I ever hurt Amir? I pondered this fact often. I would like to think not, but I knew that the _only_ person I would never be able to cause pain to was Assef. If Amir ever fucked around with me or hurt me in anyway, I knew that I would have to deal with him accordingly.

Still, I did hope that it would never come to this. I did care somewhat for Amir. Not at all the level that I cared for Assef, but I _did_ care! I _did_. I wasn't a total monster the way some people thought that I was. There are those people who I can care for and bond with. Often times I just couldn't control my temper and actions. I knew I would struggle with walking the straight and narrow for most of my life. Well, walking the straight and narrow just wasn't part of my personslity. It never was and I doubted it ever would be.

Still, I promised myself that if Amir and so ever did and up together, I would do my level best to treat him with respect. To care for him. 'All one day, Saria,' I reminded myself. 'All in the distant future. Don't get ahead of yourself now. After all you're only twelve. Too young to be thinking about marriage and romance in any case. It'll all work out in the end. You'll see.' I said to myself with conviction.

I watched Adia and Delbar again. I had named both girls as mine the moment I saw them. The two were going to be my bitches if I had anything to do with it. Well, little Adia already was. I sniggered to myself as I thought of all the pain and total humiliation I caused to Adia since I had first met her. All those months ago. Like I said before, she was just an object to me. A possession that I could abuse and hurt for my own pleasure. God I fucking detested that child so much. SO MUCH! I almost wanted to bash her brains in right now. The only thing stopping me in fact was that I would no longer be able to torment her if she were dead.

Adia should consider herself very fortunate to be called my ''friend.'' After all, it's either that or be my enemy, and I know which one I'd rather be. Don't you? I wondered how the little cunt was holding up following Masood's death. I knew that she would be in grieving for her brother for quite a long time. If not forever.

I could sympathise with her somewhat on this. If Assef were to ever die I would kill myself to be with him and I mean that literally. Thinking this way was getting me seriously depressed. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I knew that if I didn't change my thoughts I would be I danger of sobbing my heart out in the middle of class.

'Calm yourself, Saria. Everything is _fine!_ ' I chastised myself. I took my compass out of my pencil case and jabbed it into the back of Adia's knee. She let out a loud yelp and almost fell out of her seat. ''Shut the hell up, you bitch!'' I warned.

I pressed the point of the compass further into her leg. She was now whimpering like the frightened dog she is. ''Now Adia, I'm going to take this out. And I'd be willing to bet that it'll hurt like a bitch. So I want you to think very hard about what will happen to you if you scream and get me into trouble. Are we clear?''

She nodded fearfully. I smirked at my bitch. I gave the compass one hard yank and pulled it out of her knee. Adia's eyes rolled back into her head as she bit down hard on her lip to keep from crying out. This was fucking priceless. I instantly felt ten times better.

Hurting Adia just had that effect on me, I guess. I could tell that she was just itching to get away from me. To run and never look back. I laughed at the thought. The knowledge that she would never escape me. Not now and not ever. She was my property and nothing could ever change that. Nothing.

Mullah Fahsir Khan suddenly slammed his thick wooden ruler into the desk. The sound nearly shattered my fucking eardrums. 'This better fucking be good.' I thought to myself. The Mullah's eyes were blazing with rage. ''AHTRAI!'' he screamed loudly. He smacked his ruler down again on the desk.

Ahtrai didn't even respond to him. She was loudly giggling and laughing with a couple of her bitch friends. The five girls were gossiping about some stupid preteen nonsense. The hatred I had for Ahtrai still hadn't wained; and I doubted that it ever would.

The Mullah continued to angrily chastise the girls. ''Are you _quite_ finished, Ahtrai?'' he asked sarcastically. ''Can I please continue teaching?'' He asked of her. She didn't even hear him and laughed at one of her little friend's jokes. Now practically every eye was on Ahtrai. The little bitch was really asking for trouble now.

''I'm _warning_ you Ahtrai. Stop talking or would you rather I gave the whole class a pop quiz?'' he asked of her. At this, we all let out a collective moan. Ahtrai rolled her eyes and continued to talk. I could sense the Mullah's patience wearing thin. Finally he just snapped.

''That's it, Ahtrai! That's _it_. I've given you _far_ too many chances.'' With this, he opened a drawer under his desk and took out a stack of papers. ''I was going to give you girls this as a test next week, but seeing as how you can't _listen_ , Ahtrai, I might as well give it out now,'' he snapped.

He began handing out pages. Right now I probably wasn't the only one who wanted to murder Ahtrai. She _finally_ took notice of her pissed off teacher and angry classmates. By now it was of course too late. She went bright red from total embarrassment and shame. 'Good going you whore.' I thought to myself. Mullah Fahsir Khan placed the test on mine and Adia's desks.

She looked over at me fearfully as though perhaps wondering if I would take my frustrations out on her. I bit my lip and smiled sadly at her. I looked down at the paper in front of me. It was about 20 to 25 short questions based on Pashtun History. What we had been learning about recently. This would be fucking simple for me. Still, I didn't much care for getting punished, so to speak, for Ahtrai's misbehaviour. And who would? Ahtrai's face was as red as a fire truck as she tried to avert the eyes coldly looking at her. I kept staring coldly at her for a few moments.

Adia tapped my side. ''If you don't finish your test you're going to get into trouble,'' she said timidly.

I nodded, knowing that she was right. ''Okay,'' I replied. We continued to answer the test questions in total silence. I wished I could go over to Ahtrai and throttle her right then and there. I bet I wasn't the only one who wanted to do this.

Even Ahtrai's friends were looking at her hatefully. I could tell she just wanted to disappear. To vanish from sight. I wondered whether she had behaved this way in her old school. The school she went to in the Karteh-Char district. I whizzed through the test with extreme simplicity.

I had a feeling I would be getting near perfect marks. The other girls didn't seem quite as happy with their tests. One let out a slight moan of disappointment when Mullah Fahsir Khan insisted he was going to collect them. Delbar looked as though she were about to cry. I rolled my eyes at this. I would give her a _lot_ more reason to cry should I ever get hold of her. We grudgingly handed our papers over to the Mullah as he stacked them and placed them back in his desk. ''I'll correct these and have them back to you for next week,'' he told us.

He chastised Ahtrai again. ''And, Ahtrai, I hope that this is a lesson well learned for you,'' he told her sternly. ''You'll know better than to talk during my class next time, won't you?'' He asked.

She nodded empathically. ''Yes, sir. I'll know better. I will,'' she said in a rushed voice.

He nodded, seemingly satisfied with her answer. ''You may leave,'' he said at long last. The room was suddenly filled with a loud metallic scraping as we all pushed our chairs back and stood up. Everyone was eager to get home and who could blame them.

''What did you think of that test, Saria?'' my bitch asked.

''It was okay. Easy really,'' was all I said in response to this and she knew better than to push the issue any further. She began packing her books and pencils away in her oversized book bag. She must have been just as eager to get the fuck out of here as I was. Assef once again was collecting me.

In fact, neither of our parents had bothered to do the school runs since we'd been back from Islamabad. I honestly think that Mama still had some form of severe depression from what had happened to Fahrsan. I could care less about this. As I already wrote before, Assef has been more of a parental figure to me than they ever could hoped to be. He cared for and loved me much more than they could ever dream of. I could go and on about this.

I don't need to say again how much I love my brother. The hallway was almost deserted as I made my way through it. Of course I had had trouble putting my books in my bag so I was just holding them clutched to my chest. I shuffled along, my eyes downcast. Stupid, retarded girls whizzed past me like flying wasps. I tried my vey best to ignore them as I trudged past them. Little Adia had already been given my permission to leave without me. She was probably getting into her car right now and Javid was taking her home. I could give two shits what she was doing.

I continued to walk through the throes of students. Girls ran past me laughing and shrieking. ''Stupid bimbos,'' I said aloud in German. I rolled my eyes at their childish behaviours. 'Fuck this shit,' I thought as I meandered my way towards the fire exit. Technically, we weren't allowed to use the fire exit, except in an emergency, but the Mullahs never really enforced this rule. Besides, this would get me out to Assef faster.

I trotted through the gangs of girls, trying to avoid eye contact with any of them. Not that anybody cared either way. I had no friends in this entire place. Nobody wanted me as their friend in any case. Do I even need to mention why this was? The hallway had been recently cleaned, so my black patent shoes were making it a fucking chore for me to walk without slipping. I clutched onto my books as I walked tentatively through the hall. As I walked, a small girl of about seven or thereabouts, raced past me with such speed that she slammed right into me.

''WATCH IT!'' I yelled loudly as my feet gave way from under me. I toppled forward and landed on my stomach, flat on the floor. The little cunt didn't even bother to apologize as she hurried away from me. My books lay strewn all around me. ''I should slit that cow's throat for this!'' I spoke loudly in German. I got on my knees as I crawled over to retrieve my books. Just as this was happening, somebody stepped into view. I glanced up to see Ahtrai bending down to pick up my Maths book. She bent down and pushed me right over, causing me to fall flat on my ass once again.

I hissed up at her like a feral cat. A crowd had now gathered around her. Here obviously to take pleasure in my obvious discomfort. Ahtrai placed her hands on her knees. ''Aww, what's wrong, Saria? Can't get up?'' she teased. I lay there, feeling totally degraded as I watched everyone stare at me, ready to make a laughing stock of my total discomfort.

Ahtrai bent over me. Her eyes sharp with hatred; perhaps she was trying to make up for what happened in the classroom earlier. I didn't honestly know. I watched her make a complete laughing stock of me. She grabbed me by the collar and pulled me in close to her. ''Aww, the poor little baby, look at her in the floor,'' she teased. I bit down on my lip as the other girls began to laugh and snigger.

I felt so fucking humiliated. Ahtrai drew her hand back and slapped me right in the face. With a primal burst of energy, I jumped to my feet. I faced Ahtrai head on. ''Do that again Ahtrai,'' I growled, wiping spittle from my mouth. ''Do it again. I dare you. I _dare_ you!'' I hissed.

"Hey, you little freak!" one of her friends piped up. "Why don't you shut your mouth, huh? Or should we shut it _for_ you?"

I rounded on the little bitch, bearing my teeth like a wild animal. ''Bring it, you fag. Anytime, _anywhere_!'' I held my arms out at my sides and dropped them again in emphasis. I looked at all of them menacingly. I want going to let anyone get the better of me. The word control reverberated in my mind.

I couldn't lose control or I would be seriously implicated. The girl I has just threatened backed away. Apparently she wasn't as brave as she'd like to have thought. I held my hand out, palm up, to Ahtrai. ''May I please have my book?'' I asked. She shook her head as she tossed the book to one of her friends. I watched as they had a fucking game of catch with one of my belongings.

Suddenly, Ahtrai dropped the book at my feet and scarpered with her friends as she spotted one of the Maths teachers coming our way. He put his hand on my shoulder as I bent down to retrieve my tattered Maths book. ''That girl is going to be in a lot of trouble come tomorrow,'' he said by reference to Ahtrai.

''I'm kinda used to it by now. Not a lot of people wanna be my friends,'' I replied innocently.

''Well, that certainly doesn't give her the right to tease you like that. You'll tell one of us if it happens again.'' It wasn't a request so much as an order. I nodded. I didn't say so much as one word to him as I charged out the door and down the steps.

My eyes scoured through the throes of parents, searching for my older brother. I finally spotted him and went hurtling towards him, full speed. I hugged him tightly round the waist, wanting to feel the warmth of the one person who truly loved me. The breath was nearly taken out of him. ''Well, hello there, kiddo. And how was school?''

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. ''Oh, dear,'' Assef said in a low voice. He gave me a sympathetic look.

''I wanna go home,'' I sniffled. I latched onto Assef's hand as we began to walk.

''Are we going to talk about it?'' Assef asked. I was glad he wanted to help me with my problems.

''It's just Ahtrai again. First some cow knocks me down and then she starts making a laughing stock of me and slaps me in the face. Just who does she think she is!'' I grumbled angrily.

''Did you hurt her too, kiddo?'' he asked.

I shook my head. ''God, I wish I had. They were all just standing around laughing at me. Like I'm some animal in the fucking zoo.'' I buried my head in my hands and let out one long, loud exhale.

''That Ahtrai had better watch herself, kiddo. If she hurts you then she hurts me too,'' Assef said, pointing towards himself in emphasis. I sniffled and squeezed his hand tighter.

''Thanks for listening. I know I can go and on sometimes.''

He waved his hand dismissively. ''What are big brothers for, eh?'' he asked. ''You know you can come to me with anything. You know that.''

I nodded. ''And you're the only one I'd ever tell anything to,'' I told Assef truthfully.

He smiled and kissed my forehead. ''In any case, kiddo, how's about you and I go play some volley ball when we get home?''

I nodded, bouncing excitedly. ''Yes, yes I would _love_ to,'' I exclaimed. Assef knew how much I loved volley ball. He had instantly lifted my spirits. We walked home in the space of about five or so minutes.

''Drop your bag and meet me outside, kiddo,'' Assef said. I nodded, smiling in delight. I tossed my bag in a heap by the fireplace, then followed my brother out into the kitchen. I caught sight of my mother sitting on her own. Her face buried in her hands, tugging at her hair. I stopped for a moment as I stared at her.

''Mama?'' I asked in innocent concern. She looked up and smiled sadly.

''Hello, sweetie. Did you have a good day in school?'' Like I would ever tell her the truth.

''Yes, Mama. No homework or anything.''

Assef poked his head around the door. ''Kiddo? You coming?'' he asked. I nodded. Before I could open my mouth to reply, the phone rang incessantly.

''I'll get it,'' Assef said, coming in just as Mama half-made to stand up. He pressed the retriever to his ear. ''Hello?'' he asked. He bit his lip and smirked at me. ''Oh, hello, Amir jan. How nice to hear from you again,'' he said. I bowed my knees in excitement and looked up at my brother. He beckoned me over with his finger. I went to stand at his hip, and he drew me in close.

Assef continued talking. ''Well, yes, we'd love to go to your birthday party. Yes, Saria's here. She'd love to come. 7:00 PM is it? Alright. See you then. I'll let Mother and Father know, yes. Right. Okay. Goodbye now.'' With that having been said, Assef hung up the phone.

''Your Amir's been kind enough to invite us to his birthday party. How does that sound, kiddo?''

''Like fun!'' I exclaimed.

''What sounds like fun?'' Papa asked, coming in with his hands on his hips. ''What kind of trouble are you two getting up to now?'' he asked teasingly.

''Oh, no trouble, Father. Amir jan just invited us to his birthday party tonight,'' Assef said sweetly. He placed a hand on my hair. I giggled and bounced childishly. I truly felt like a fucking idiot behaving in this manner.

''Well, that was very nice of him. You two are going to have to pick out a present for him as well,'' Papa told us. Assef nodded, running a hand through my hair.

''And I know just the thing. Come upstairs with me, Saria.'' I followed my brother into his room. He knelt down at the foot of his bed and felt around under the bed. He took out an old, worn copy of Mein Kampf. The biography of Adolf Hitler.

''Well, what do you think, kiddo? Think Amir will like this present?''

I chortled in response. ''I think he's going to _love_ it,'' I responded. ''But, Assef, isn't that your favourite book?''

''Oh, I have another copy. I'll say this is from both of us,'' he grinned at me.

Amir's party was one of the most extravagant that I had ever seen. His father had hung dozens of blue and reds all through the trees, they flickered like little stars above us as we passed through into the kitchen. Hundreds of guests mingled outside, trying their hands at the food that had been left outside on the tables. I clutched tightly to my brother's hand as we approached the birthday boy.

I didn't like crowds. Amir had just received a book or something from Ali; Hassan's father. He looked up with extreme nervousness plastered on his face as he saw us approaching. The poor thing! ''Happy birthday, Amir,'' Assef exclaimed, stopping in front of the birthday boy and his father. Yusef was all smiles for us. I continued to play up the innocent little girl act. Grinning like a fucking retard.

Amir looked up at my brother, a hundred different emotions flashing through his eyes. Fear, hatred, shame. The works. ''I picked out your present myself. We both did, isn't that right, kiddo?''

I nodded. ''I think you'll really, _really_ like it,'' I said in a sugar sweet voice. Amir still didn't respond. His father was getting a bit pissed off at him, not that I could blame him. This behaviour was not go one should treat their guests. Yusef began to make conversation with my brother.

''Still playing soccer, Assef jan?'' he asked.

Assef nodded, one hand placed on my shoulder. ''Yes, Kaka Jan.''

''Right wing, I assume?''

Assef shook his head in response. ''Actually, I switched to centre forward earlier this year. You can score more goals that way. You know, we're playing against the Mekro-Rayan team next week. That should be a good match. I'd say they have some good players.'' Yusef nodded, engrossed in this sports-orientated conversation.

''You know, I used to play centre-forward too when I was your age,'' he told my brother.

''And I bet you still could, if you wanted to,'' Assef replied, winking at Yusef.

I spoke up to my Amir. ''And are you enjoying your party, Amir?'' I asked the now thirteen-year-old.

''Yeah,'' was his only response to me. I could tell Assef was getting a bit peeved at the rude one word answers as was Yusef.

''Wali and Kamal are here too. They wouldn't miss your party for the world. Say, how about you come up to our house some time for a game of volley ball? Saria's always saying she'd like to see you more often. Bring Hassan if you want to.''

'Yes, so he can get raped again. Might even kill him this time,' I thought. Amir just shook his head 'no.'

''Um, I don't really like volley ball,'' he responded to this. Assef rolled his eyes as I did the same.

''Oh. Suit yourself then. But you have an open invitation in any case. Now, before I forget...'' He held out the wrapped birthday gift to Amir. I couldn't wait for his reaction when he saw what it was. ''I know how much you like to read so Saria and I got you a book. One of our favourites.''

Amir just stood there, dazed, like someone who's been in a head on collision. Staring at the package in my brother's hand. Yusef jabbed him in the side with an elbow. ''Assef and Saria are giving you a present,'' he snapped.

''Oh.'' Reaching out, Amir tugged the present from my brother's hands with no word of thanks.

''Aren't you going to thank them?'' his father asked, voicing my own opinions. ''That was _very_ considerate of them.''

''Thanks,'' Amir muttered. He began backing away like a cornered animal. ''Thanks for coming.'' He turned on his heel and scurried away from us. 'Disrespectful little shit,' I thought. I didn't like thinking about Amir this way. I did care for the boy, but his attitude needed a serious adjustment.

''Well, enjoy the party and thank you again,'' Yusef said again. He left us to our own devices as he went to entertain his other hundreds of guests. I led Assef by the hand over to one of the tables.

''Having fun, kiddo?'' he asked, popping some finger food in his mouth. I nodded and did likewise.

''Amir's being very rude,'' I stated matter of factly.

''He should feel lucky that this is his party or else the brass knuckles might have been brought out. No offense, kiddo, I know you have a soft spot for him,'' Assef replied.

I shook my head. ''If that's what it takes for him to learn manners. Where is the birthday boy, anyhow?'' I asked.

''You know something, kiddo, that is a really good question. I have no idea.'' Assef rolled his eyes. ''You'd think that he'd be around, after all this _is_ his birthday party. Or maybe he's gone inside.'' A group of children about my age or younger raced past us, laughing like little hyenas.

I nearly lost my footing as they thundered past. ''Dumb bitches,'' Assef swore in German, grabbing my arm to stop me from falling. ''Are you okay, kiddo?'' He asked. I nodded.

''Yeah, I...'' I nearly jumped out of my fucking skin as a loud bang sounded from somewhere in the garden. I cocked my head up at my brother.

''Assef, what's that?'' I whispered. Assef pointed towards the sky in answer.

''Look, Saria, fireworks.'' We stood there for God knows how long, my arm around his waist, gazing at the sky, the brilliant showers of colour miles up above us. To me, this very moment felt peaceful. It felt calming to my soul. Assef ran his fingers over my scalp as we just enjoyed each others company. After a few moments, we spotted Hassan timidly approaching us, a drinks platter in both of his tiny hands.

His head was bowed. I bit my lip and giggled at the memory of what Assef had done to him. Assef grabbed the young Hazara boy by the collar and drew him in close. He took two drinks from the tray and handed one to me.

''Thank you,'' I said. My attention was fixed on the fearful look in Hassan's eyes. He tiptoed away quietly, not even bothering to look back at us. Assef and I both looked at each other and cracked up.

I doubled over, palms on my knees, wheezing with laughter. I hadn't really laughed this much since the rape. Nobody seemed to have payed attention to this, not that I minded in any case. The party lasted until about twelve o clock or thereabouts. As we were leaving, I noticed something sticking out of the bushes, amidst a tangle of weeds.

It was covered with muck. I bent down to retrieve it. I wiped the mud off the cover. My face fell as I recognised what it was. The book that Assef and I had given Amir for his birthday. I bit my lip and narrowed my eyes angrily at it. ''Nice, really fucking nice, Amir,'' I whispered.

Assef turned to me. ''What ya got there, kiddo?'' he asked. I held the book out towards him.

''Here,'' I half-spat, pushing the book into his hands. Assef took it from me. He just stared at it for a few moments.

''The fucking nerve of him,'' he swore loudly. ''What do you _see_ in that boy, Saria?'' he asked, puzzled.

''A lot less than I used to. That's for sure. I'm telling you now, if someone disrespects my brother, then they disrespect me too.'' I said passionately.

''In any case, kiddo. Let's get home. You must be tired.'' I nodded and we slid into the car. Mama's mood had seemed to have lifted slightly. She smiled at us in the rear view mirror.

As we drove away, I turned back and stared as Amir's house got smaller and smaller. I spotted his tiny form slipping back into his house and glared at him. The love I had for him was slowly dwindling. Nobody got to disrespect me or Assef like that. Nobody had the right to treat either of us that way. ''Kiddo?'' Assef asked, tapping my shoulder.

I turned back to face him. I leaned in to whisper in my brother's ear. ''Believe me, Assef. That boy will learn to respect you. To respect us. Either that or he'll pay the price for it. Sooner or later everything will fall into place. I promise.''


	23. The Perfect Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, the love that Saria felt for Amir began to seriously dwindle when she saw him disrespect her older brother. She was enraged to find that Amir's attitude towards both her and Assef has become more and more rude. Now we find her about to spend the day with her brother but it won't be long before something big happens...

''Come on down when you're ready, kiddo,'' my brother said. He stood in the door way to my bedroom, his arms folded against his chest, leaning against the doorframe. I turned around to smile at him, my eyes bright with the prospect of us spending the day together.

''Alright, Assef. Give me a few minutes to get myself dressed and I'll be right down,'' I told him, smiling warmly.

Assef nodded. ''You're not going to keep your older brother waiting too long?'' he asked mock-sternly.

I shook my head. ''Of course not. Ten minutes. Promise.''

''Alright then, kiddo. See you in ten.'' With that having been said, my brother left me to my own devices in my rather messy bedroom. I tried looking out the window. The sunlight almost fucking blinded me. I hissed and covered my eyes with my left hand, shrinking back in on myself.

''FUCK! FUCKING SUN!'' I swore aloud. I let myself slip up momentarily by being so loud. I didn't care though. I honestly could give two fucks as to who had just heard me. I doubted that Mama and Papa would have heard anyhow. They were both downstairs (in the living room, Assef had said) and probably unable to hear anything.

Every sound was probably being drowned out by the sounds of Mama's irritating sobbing. Honest to fucking _God_ that woman was getting on my nerves! All she seemed to do day in and day out was just sit and sob, or, of she wasnt making a fucking ruckus, she'd just sit somewhere and stare blankly ahead like a zombie.

I couldn't see the point of this. Yes, Fahrsan was dead. Yes, she blamed herself, and her beloved baby sister blamed her too. Yes, I had destroyed a life-long relationship that I knew now could never be repaired. Yes, I had cut a seventeen year old boy's life short, killed him before he even got to fully experience the beauty of what life has to offer. Yes I had down all these things and more.

But in all honesty, who gives a fuck? As I have already stated numerous times, Fahrsan had _no_ right to slap me the way that he did. If I had let that go unpunished then I felt I wouldn't be doing myself the proper justice that I deserved to have. Nobody should get away with treating me in such a manner. I didn't care who you were. Fahrsan deserved to die, you see, and nothing that anyone could say would ever make me think any differently about this. I could care less about him now. He was just worm food in the ground where he belonged. Besides, people who look like he did deserved to die anyway.

They were an absolute abomination. They were what was wrong with the world today, well them and Hazaras. They needed to be gotten rid of. To be tortured, killed. That was what my brother always told me. These people are an abomination. In fact, they don't even deserve to be _called_ people. They were more like animals than people. They were absolute monstrosities, every last one of them. Fahrsan included. And no I didn't care that that boy was my cousin and that he probably did care for me a lot. Why should I? It was his own fault. If only he hadn't slapped me, then none of this would have happened.

I could give two shits about what I had done. That was now two people who's lives had been destroyed because of me. Two families who were in grieving. Did it matter to me what I did? I could care less about Mama and her feelings. I knew I must have caused some severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I wondered if she ever thought about killing herself. Surely the thought must have gone through her mind. To slit her wrists in the bathtub or hang herself with one of Papa's belts and watch the pain all fade away. I wondered if she would receive the forgiveness from God that she could never receive from Stella.

I laughed to myself at the thought. I really could care less about what had happened. ''Come on now, Saria. Don't keep your brother waiting,'' I told myself. I got up from where I was sitting on the bed. It was an absolutely stunning summers morning. It was around mid to late May.

The sky was a beautiful blue colour with the golden sun peeking out from behind the white clouds. The perfect day to spend with my older brother. I walked up to my window and tied the curtains back with the rope provided at the side of the windowsill. I decided to open the window to let some air in. I fumbled with the latch for a few minutes before I finally managed to get it open. I yanked it up high and stuck my head out, admiring the view as the cool wind blew in my face. The sunshine was very warm and I knew that I would not need to wear anything too heavy.

Now, what dress could I wear today? I wondered to myself. There were so many choices in my wardrobe to choose from. Each as hideous as the last. I laughed at the bullshit things that I had to wear. The horrific dresses and pinafores. I looked a right sight in everything that I put on. What could I do? I went over to my wardrobe and perused through my many dresses. 'What do I wear today?' I asked myself, placing my hands on my hips. It would end up looking shit anyway. I might as well just pick something. I took out a knee-length dress and laid it on my bed. It had a large collar, with large ruffles on it and long sleeves.

There was also a huge bow that tied at the back. It was light pink in colour. This was the type of dress that you would expect to see someone of about four or so wearing. I was going to look a sight. Still, what could I do? My parents insisted in buying me the stupidest, most ridiculous clothes ever created. They really wanted to maintain the childish look. Fucking cunts. I exhaled deeply as I pulled the dress over my tiny, slim frame. I pulled on some ankle length white socks with lace at the top of them. No need for tights today. It was too warm for them. Didn't want to get too hot and irritable, did I?

I pulled on a pair of black shoes with bows tied at the front of them. They were buckled and I had to struggle to get them tied. I swore to myself as I tugged the buckle through the strap. I pulled the shoes tight and stood up. God I must have looked a fucking sight. I've said this before though. I looked at myself in the mirror. The dress was tight around my waist and barely covered the tops of my knees. I must have looked about six or seven.

This outfit would be more suitable for a six year old in any case. I took a large matching pink ribbon from my vanity table and carefully weaved into the back of my hair, securing it in a half up-do. I swayed from side to side as I admired myself in the mirror. I almost gagged in disgust at what I looked like. The outside certainly didn't reflect the inside. The monster looked like the innocent. My hair even looked ten times curlier today. I smiled to myself as I bowed my knees in the mirror. ''Looking good, Saria. Looking very good indeed,'' I told myself aloud. I was suddenly startled by a knock on the door.

I whipped around to see Mama standing there. She had a box of tissues in her hand and it was obvious that she had been crying. Her eyes were all blotchy and red. Her misery was hilarious to me. It was like what watching a clown would be to a ''normal'' or so child. Still, I held that false smile of childhood innocence in place. ''Hello, Mama.'' I said sweetly. ''And how are you today?'' Like I even needed to ask the question. She was hesitant with her answer. She didn't think this was the kind of thing that a twelve-year-old girl should be hearing about.

I could tell that she was even a bit ashamed that I had noticed her tears. They were streaked down either side of her face. One on each cheek. ''Fine, sweetie. Everything's fine,'' she said rather unconvincingly. She held her arms out. Grudgingly, I walked over and was met by a warm embrace.

This only further reminded me that my brother was the only person who could embrace me without it being a total deception. Mama gently stroked my hair, breathing in the scent of my strawberry shampoo. A few tears fell from her eyes and landed on my head. This must have been one of her bad days. I have written already about the lack of a fuck that I give. Mama gently ran her fingers over my scalp. ''Mama's sorry that she's been so sad lately,'' she said apologetically. She obviously didn't really know how to approach the situation with me. I cocked my head to side.

''And why are you so sad, Mama?'' I asked. I wanted to hear her say it! I wanted to hear the words coming out of her mouth. The absolute pain that it would cause her to speak about Fahrsan's death. I bit my lip and smiled at my mother.

The smile she perceived as childhood innocence was nothing more that pure devilishness. Delight in her pain. With a sigh, she said the words that I wanted her to say so badly. ''I'm just sad because of Fahrsan, sweetheart. That's all. Because he passed away.'' She kept her explanations short and simple. The way you would when speaking to a small child.

I could only nod as I lowered my eyes in a false show or sympathy. ''There's no need for you to be sad, Mama. Fahrsan's in Heaven now. He's looking down at us with the angels. And one day I know that we'll see him again. Does that make you happy?'' I asked. 'Thats it, Saria. Just keep hamming it up for the bitch,' I thought to myself.

My words had certainly tugged on her heartstrings. She looked down at me with tears in her eyes and pressed me up against the fabric of her dress. Her clothing smelt of that cheap detergent she often used. She almost broke down on the spot. ''That does make me happy, Saria. That makes me very happy. Thank you. You're a sweet little girl, do you know that?''

I had to hold back a laugh when she said this. 'You're hugging Fahrsan's killer,' I thought to myself. I loosely embraced her back. The only time an embrace ever meant anything to me was when it was between me and Assef. Other than that it was just a lie. A complete falsehood.

''It makes me sad when I see you so upset,'' I told my mother. ''I want my Mama to be happy,'' I said in a sugar sweet voice. She brushed a lock of curly blonde hair back from my face. I looked up at her. I was surprised by how much I looked like my mother.

Both of her children had taken their looks from her. Their personalities and characters were a totally different story. I pulled myself away from her and adjusted my ribbon and dress. ''You're so pretty,'' Mama said with conviction. She was on the verge of become emotional once again. I could give two shits! Her pain was my pleasure.

I held out the sides of my dress and ran my hands down the front. ''I feel pretty in this dress,'' I said. It was so hard for me to say that with a straight face. I could make her swoon for me.

''You'd be pretty in anything,'' she said. I could appreciate the compliment. She seemed happy to have the few moments to bond with her only daughter. I beamed at her. It was so fucking hard to keep a smile on my face. This was making my face ache. ''Your big brother is waiting for you downstairs,'' Mama said.

I felt sorry for making Assef wait. For taking my time talking with my bitch of a mother when the more important person didn't get my attention. I bowed my knees. ''Okay. Will you tell him I'm sorry and I'll be right down?''

Mama nodded. ''Of course, dear.'' With that having been said, she left the room. As I was leaving the room, I stole a glance at the copy of Mein Kampf on my shelf. It was the same copy that Assef and I had given Amir and I a few days previously. Assef had given it to me. He knew that I would look after it. A sweet gift from big brother to little sister.

I knew that I would take a hell of a lot better care of this than Amir had done. I was still steeling myself with the rage inside from what had happened at Amir's birthday. The fucking nerve of that cunt!

How dare he do such a thing! How _dare_ he! I was absolutely furious at his disrespect. Nobody had the right to treat either me and my brother like that. The love that I had for Amir was slowly dwindling away into nothing. Sooner or later I knew I would see him as simply another person to be done away with. I could not love anyone with the same undying finesse that I had for Assef. Still, I hoped that Amir would see sense and come round to our side.

There was a plate supplying a few slices of buttered bread and a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice set out on the table for me. I had to hand it to Mama. Even in her depressed and downtrodden state she still managed to find time to take care of her daughter. I smiled to myself. I sat down at the table and took a huge swig of juice.

''Ah!'' I sighed, smacking my lips together. ''Now _that's_ how orange juice should be made.'' I picked up a slice of bread and bit down into it. The butter melted on my tongue as I chewed and swallowed. The taste was euphoric. I looked out the window to see Assef sitting on one of the chairs by the pool.

He turned around where he sat and waved at me. I returned the gesture before once again focusing my attention in the food that I was eating. It was now about half past eleven or so in the morning.

At least I had all day in which to spend with my brother. Perhaps we would even go on a just because. We hadn't been on one in such an awfully long while. Not since we'd beaten Ara about six or seven months ago. I wanted to find a new victim. The novelty of Ara's blinding was long beginning to wear off on me.

There had to be fresh meat out there for me to torment. Someone else to main or to disfigure. The thought of seeing someone else at the mercy of my brother's brass knuckles was erotic. But come on now? Isn't it all too obvious? I have a violent side, I get off on pain. Yes. So fucking shoot me! Speaking of which, I was sure that I had kept my poor brother waiting for too long. I finished up my toast and bustled outside to meet him. Assef stood up from his seat and held his arms out to me. I ran into them and he embraced me tightly.

''What took you so long, kiddo?'' he asked playfully.

I snickered. ''Mama and I were talking. About Fahrsan. She's so sad lately you know,'' I spoke in a false sad voice.

Assef hugged me to him. ''Sometimes I wish that Fahrsan hadn't died,'' he said. This surprised me.

I cocked my head to the side and placed my hands on my hips. ''What do you mean, Assef?'' I asked.

''Well, do you know how terrible it is for a person to live with permanent paralysis?'' he asked. I shook my head.

''No. I don't.''

''Imagine this, kiddo. You can't move your arms or legs. You can't feed or wash yourself. You have to rely on other people to do everything for you. EVERYTHING.''

I listened. Entranced by his words. ''And you can't do anything?'' I asked.

He shook his head. ''Nothing, it's a terrible life.''

I began chortling. ''I imagine so. Now I sort of wish Fahrsan didn't die either,'' I said truthfully.

Assef nodded in agreement. ''I do too kiddo. But now he's in hell where he belongs.''

I beamed up at my brother. ''Yep. Where everyone else like him ends up.''

Assef laughed. ''That's right.. Now what would you like to do this morning, kiddo?''

''Um, how's about we play some volley ball?'' I asked.

Assef nodded. ''Okay. Volley ball it is then. And I'm taking you out to lunch later. To that restaurant you like. My treat, kiddo.''

''Thank you,'' I beamed at him. ''Sounds like fun.''

''Well give me a few moments to get these back inside and I'll be right with you.'' My brother said.

I nodded. ''Meet me by the volley ball nets,'' I said. With that, Assef picked up the half-empty plate and walked back inside. I made my way over to where the volley ball nets were. We had had them built about ten or twelve years before Assef was born, by an old family friend who had long since passed away.

The nets stood tall at the bottom of the grass, about seven or eight feet tall. The sun was now blazing at it's hottest over me in the sky. I brushed my hair back from my face. I could feel the perspiration on my forehead already. I kicked off my left shoe and shook a rock out of it. I picked up a nearby ball and began dribbling it on my knees. I juggled it from hand to hand as I waited for my brother. I had never been very sporty, but I was quite a good volley ball player. I wondered whether I would hold my own in a match against Assef.

My brother was quite the expert at sports. After about five or so minutes, Assef jogged towards me. He stopped on the other side of the net, his hair flopping down in front of his face. He ran his hand through his hair and scratched at his neck. I kicked off my shoes and bounced up and down. The long grass tickled the soles of my white socked feet. I giggled for a bit. ''I'm sorry I was so late, kiddo,'' he said. ''Mother wanted to talk.''

I raised my eyebrows. ''She seems to want to talk to both of us doesn't she? What did she want?'' I asked.

''Just to talk. Something about how she's sorry that she's been upset lately. That she thinks it's great how good care I've taken of you over the last few weeks.''

''You've always taken care of me. Ever since I can remember,'' I told him. Assef smiled at me.

''Anything for you, Saria. Now, are we going to stand around talking about our feelings or am I going to kick your ass at volley ball?'' he teased, grinning. I shook my head and tossed the ball over the net to him.

''No.'' I said. ''Because I'M going to kick _your_ ass!'' I laughed aloud.

''Those are fighting words, my sister. But can you hold to those words?'' he joked. We would often tease and joke with each other the way we were doing now. It was just all in good fun. Assef chucked the ball over the net. I wasn't ready for it, however, and it ended up falling from my clumsy little fingers. I bent down to retrieve it.

''Seems you're losing already, kiddo. Care to give up yet?'' Assef joked. I fixed him the death stare that I am well known for, then broke out in laughter.

''NEVER!'' I exclaimed loudly.

''Suit yourself then.'' Assef once again tossed the ball towards me over the net. This time, however, I was anticipating it. I jumped up to meet it and was able to land a pretty smooth hit.

''Not so bad now am I?'' I teased my brother. We continued playing for a good hour or two.

These moments that I got to spend with my big brother were some of the best in my entire life. No, scratch that, they _were_ the best moments in my entire life. There is nothing else that could ever compare to being with the one person that I could ever truly love and care for. That kindred soul that shared my hopes and dreams and would go to any lengths to help me achieve them.

These quiet moments I could almost forget the darkness in my mind. The violent desire to cause harm and misery to innocent people. To anyone watching me right now, I knew I would come off as an innocent child. I actually did feel this way right now, and this time it wasn't a deception.

Assef directed another hit to me, which I easily blocked, then served the ball back to him. 'Hey, I'm actually quite good at this.' I thought to myself as we played. 'Not just a pretty face after all,' I thought.

''What ya thinking about, kiddo?'' Assef asked. We had now finished playing (apparently the game was a ''draw'' - my brother's way of saying that he lost) and I was throwing the ball up and down and catching it.

I bit my lip. ''Oh. Nothing.''

Assef smiled. ''Well then, how's about you and I go get some lunch?''

I nodded. ''Okay.'' I was actually getting pretty hungry right about now. I could hear my stomach rumbling.

''I don't think you're going to need a jacket today, kiddo, but take a cardigan just in case.'' I nodded again, bent down to put back on my shoes and sprinted in the direction of the house. I put on a light cream over shirt over the dress that I felt would keep me warm and yet not too warm. I admired myself in the mirror by the hall. I fixed my hair which had gotten quite out of place during that game of volley ball. I readjusted my ribbon and tied the top three buttons on my cardigan.

Assef and I walked down the driveway. I noticed Papa's car parked in its usual spot. There was a substantial amount of bird shit on the windows and doors. How they manages to shit at such an angle I had no idea. It puzzled me. I looked up at my brother. ''Are Wali and Kamal coming too?'' I asked.

He shook his head. ''No. Not today. I just want to spend the day with my baby sister.'' He beamed at me, and ruffled my hair. We continued walking. My mind was somehow drawn to Kamal. I still had quite a bit of a soft spot for that boy, even though he was five or so years older than me, and probably saw me as nothing more than his friend's kid sister.

I had had quite strong feelings for him for as far back as I can remember. When I was a kid I used to fantasise about him and I. Yes, I know it sounds childish! Kamal was even more scared of Assef than Wali was. I've written this before. Perhaps this was what had drawn me to him in the first place.

The fact that my brother could do easily control him. Could so easily make him do his bidding. It was actually quite endearing. If only Kamal had been a few years younger. Then maybe it would have worked out between him and I. I didn't need a husband or children in any case. I had my big brother and that was all I needed. The sky was now a dull grey in colour. The heat of this morning was gone.

The sun peeked out from behind one of the clouds, its blinding rays still providing a large amount of warmth. Still, this was still not quite on par with the brilliant weather I had seen when I arose this morning.

''Not as nice as earlier, huh, kiddo?'' Assef voiced my thoughts. ''You sure you're not cold or anything? Would you like my jacket?'' He offered.

I shook my head. ''No thank you, Assef. It's a nice offer but I'm fine.''

He nodded. ''Okay then. But just tell me any time you want it. I don't want my sister catching a chill.'' I nodded in understanding. We reached our favourite cafe and were seated promptly. I had liked this place since I was in my pushchair. It used to be the place Mana and Papa took us when we were small kids but now it since become the place I only went with my brother.

The place Assef took me when he wanted to treat me to lunch or even just a cup of tea and slice of cake. We were soon approached by Belourine, the middle aged owner of the cafe. She had a huge grin on her face. The woman was always fucking happy. All the time. I didn't know how that could be possible.

She stopped at our table and took out a notepad and ballpoint pen. ''Well if it isn't my favourite little girl,'' she said to me. I beamed up at her. ''You've gotten so big, Saria. How old are you now, dear? Ten?''

''I'm twelve since December of this year,'' I corrected her.

She was taken aback by this statement. ''My goodness! Where does the time go?'' she asked rethorically. I shook my head, grinning.

''Who knows?'' I responded. She was instantly taken in by my charm and poise. As are most people I meet.

''And you must been in fourth grade or so?'' I once again had to correct her.

''Um, I started fifth grade this Spring.''

''And what would you like to be when you grow up?'' God, what was this, twenty fucking questions?

''Eh, I dunno.''

She laughed at this answer. ''Plenty of years to decide that. Your mother and father can find a nice man for you and you'll settle down. A beautiful little thing like you. That certainly won't be a problem.''

''Can we order please, Khala jan?'' Assef asked as politely as possible, gesturing to the pen in her left hand. She seemed taken aback. She didn't realise she had been talking so long. Fucking cow.

''Um, uh, of course. The usual, is it?'' She scribbled out our orders down on the notepad and bustled off. Once she was gone, my brother and I began speaking to each other. For obvious reasons, we kept the conversation in German.

''I wonder if I shoved her head in a pot of boiling water would she be as happy?'' I asked.

''It might help her remember how old you are. How many fucking times does she ask that question? And how many times does she get it wrong!'' Assef asked, laughing.

''Too many times,'' I sighed , placing my head in my hands. ''Mullah Fahsir Khan must have given about six pop quizzes since Ahtrai arrived. That cow just WON'T shut UP!''

''Well, why doesn't he just move her to another class? Or give her a detention?'' my brother suggested.

''Believe me, a detention is _far_ less of a punishment than _anything_ I could fill out if I was able to and would get away with it,'' I said. ''I have so many ideas about what I could do to her. What we could to do her.''

''Tell me, kiddo.'' As we were served our food, I began telling my brother all about the violent fantasies I had of what I could do to Ahtrai.

''Oh, and I met this girl, Delbar, from my class. She's a sweet kid, about eight or so. I want to make her my bitch. Like Adia.''

''You're not getting bored of poor Adia, are you?'' Assef joked.

I shook my head. ''Of course not. I love playing with Adia. I guess you could say that I want a back up bitch.''

Assef laughed loudly at this statement. ''Okay then. You and Delbar and Adia would make great friends,'' he teased jokingly. As we ate, I couldn't help but notice Amir enter. He gave us a fleeting glance.

''Is there something wrong, Amir jan?'' I asked in false concern. He was hesitant with his answer.

''Um, no. Uh, I lost the watch my dad got me for my birthday, and now he's a bit pissed off,'' he eventually admitted.

''Vielleicht wird es wiederum in den Büschen von Ihrem Haus. Das scheint zu sein, wo Sie die meisten Ihrer Geschenke gebracht, nicht wahr?'' Assef asked, his lip curling upwards. This was German for, ''Maybe you'll find it in the bushes by your house. That seems to be where you put most of your presents, isn't it?''

Amir had no idea what has just been said to him. ''Um, what?'' he stuttered.

Assef rolled his eyes at me. I giggled. ''I said, I'm sure you'll find it some time. Maybe when you're not looking for it.''

Amir nodded. ''Sure. Um, you're right.'' He said. ''Well, I uh, I have to go,'' he said. He turned tail and scurried outside. I let out a loud gleeful laugh and clapped my hands together.

''Did you see his face?'' I asked in German.

''I really don't know why you like that boy.''

''I'll keep him in line if we ever do get married.''

''That you will, kiddo.'' Assef looked from side to side. ''Did you hear the rumour about his father, that he once wrestled a bear?''

My eyes widened. ''Oh my God, _really_?''

''That's what people are saying. Do you think I could hold up against him?'' he asked.

''I think you could.''

''I've always wanted to take Yusef on,'' Assef admitted.

''Ha! Now that's a fight I'd love to see. You'd kick his ass into next week,'' I giggled.

''Thank you, kiddo,'' my brother replied.

''Thank you for the lunch. I love spending time with you,'' I said truthfully. Assef reached across the table and placed his hand over mine.

''That's sweet. I couldn't imagine anyone else I'd want to spend time with,'' he said. We smiled at each other. I took the last forkful of food and set the fork down on the empty plate.

''Where would you like to go now, kiddo?'' he asked. ''I haven't got the knuckles with me, so a just because is out of the question. I'm sorry. Maybe another time? Is there anywhere else you want to go? Anything else you could think for us to do? We have all day together after all.''

''Can we go to the alley? The alley where the rape happened?'' I asked.

''Of course. We'll go now.'' He took my hand as we left the restaraunt. Belourine waved us off cheerily, her pasty grin still etched onto her face. 'I should wipe that grin right off her face.' I thought to myself. Overly happy people like her just aggravate the shit out of me. I skipped on ahead of my brother as we walked through the street. I was honestly feeling in quite good spirits today and I knew that Assed felt the same way. We reached the alley and I bounced up and down, the memories flowing back.

I bent down and touched the ground, recalling the feel of it under my feet as I watched Assef rape that Hazara cunt. ''It's.. All the memories,'' I said, clasping my hands together. Assef laughed at my enthusiasm.

''You laughed so much that day. I was afraid you would make yourself sick,'' he said.

''It was Hassan's own fault. He knew what we were capable yet he dared to fight against you. Fucking retard.''

Assef nodded. ''He shouldn't have done that, kiddo, but now he's paying the price for it.'' We shared a laugh as we reminisced about what Assef had done to the little boy. The agony that he had been put through. It was still funny even all these months later.

''I wonder what'll we'll do at the next tournament?'' I asked.

''It'll be something good, I promise kiddo. Though what can top at that rape, eh?'' He nudged me. I wrapped my arm around his waist and smiled. I was in hysterics from the memory.

''This is my favourite place,'' I told my brother. ''My favourite place and my favourite person.'' These words were the absolute truth.

''I couldn't agree more, kiddo. You're my favourite person too.'' He brushed a curl of blonde hair out if my eyes and behind my ear. He kissed the top of my head. ''One day I'll rape someone again for you. You seemed to like it,'' Assef promised.

He guided me away from the alley. ''How about I challenge you to a game of pool? Huh?''

''I'll kick your ass just like I kicked your ass in volley ball!'' I exclaimed.

'' _That_ was a _draw_ , kiddo,'' Assef replied.

I rolled my eyes. ''Right. Of _course_ it was!'' I said sarcastically. ''Sore loser, are you?'' I teased.

''Oh I'm gonna get you for that!'' Assef replied.

''Noooo!'' I shouted, laughing as I took off running away from my brother. I sprinted ahead of Assef, almost tripping over myself in my haste. My hair fell over my face as I laughed in utter joy. Assef caught up to me as we reached the edge of the town, the bridge connecting the back of Amir's house. I could see it in the distance.

By now, it has started to rain slightly. My brother picked me up ground the ground and began tickling my ribs. I shrieked with laughter and began fighting against him. ''No! Ahhhh! Hahaha! Assef!''

''Say I'm not a sore loser and I'll stop,'' he ordered.

''Okay! Okay! You're not a sore loser! Okayyy! Now stop tickling me!'' Assef set me down.

''That's my girl.''

Up ahead, I could see Hassan and his father Ali walking towards us. Their very livelihoods on their backs. I looked at my brother in confusion. I couldn't yet see the looks on their faces, but from the way Hassan held his shoulders down, this wasn't good news for them at least. I noticed Amir watching them go.

He stood close enough to where we were. I decided to ask what was happening. ''Where is Hassan going?''

Amir looked at me. ''He stole my watch. So he's leaving,'' he admitted.

''But where?'' I asked again.

''To Hazarajat. Or some place! I DON'T KNOW!'' he all but screamed in frustration, throwing his hands up. Then he caught sight of the venomous look Assef gave him. ''I have to go.'' He sprinted back to the house. I could care less about how he had just spoken to me.

Though I'm sure later I would become pissed off. But for now, pure joy was all that I felt. The rain didn't matter. The fact my hair was dripping wet didn't matter. What mattered was that Hassan was gone forever! I whooped in delight as his form got smaller and smaller! Assef picked me up in his arms and spun me around. ''He's gone! He's _really_ gone!'' I shouted in German. I could see Hassan and Ali getting into Yusef's car.

''Gone forever, kiddo. That's one Hazara down,'' Assef responded. I could honestly not contain my emotions. I was the happiest I had _ever_ been! Only the rape could top this!

''How's about that game of pool kiddo?'' Assef asked. I nodded, smiling, still dripping with rain water. He took my hand and began to lead me away. 'You won in the end, Saria,' I thought myself as the car in the distance got smaller and smaller, taking with it one of our worst enemies. 'Yes, in the end, we both won.'


	24. The End Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, the perfect day came to pass when Saria learned that her actions had caused Hassan and Ali to leave Kabul. She was delighted to learn that now there was one less Hazara for her to deal with. Now we find that Wali and Kamal have a surprise for the Ahmeds...

What happened today will stick with me for the rest of my life. Grey hair and sagging skin will never dull my memories of what transpired. Even now I can't bring myself to write about it, but I will do so anyway. It was about a month or so after Hassan's departure. Mother and Father were away for the week on a business trip. I honestly don't fucking know. This meant of course that with the exception of Hamilra, Assef and I were alone in the house. It was mid morning on Saturday and I of course had no school. I didn't have to think about that bitch Ahtrai and her gang for two full days. Now I could just relax.

Though things were not as joyous as I am making them out to be. The sky was a dark grey in colour, and though the sun shone quite brightly, there was less of a heat then I would have liked. I had not yet gotten dressed and was sitting at the table with my brother, absent mindedly picking at the breakfast that our slave had set out for us. I didn't really want to eat anything.

Between school and Ahtrai, there was just way too much on my mind I guess. Too much to think about and to process. One thing that really annoyed me was that Amir was now ignoring me completely. Ever since Hassan had left the boy had wanted nothing to do with me or with my brother. He had begun to avoid me like one does a fellow with leprosy. Every time I would pass him in the street he would almost break into a run to try and avoid me. He would always leave any shops I entered and made it abundantly fucking clear that he didn't want to talk to me. I know that I shouldn't care about this but honestly I did.

I felt so hurt that he would treat me in such a way. Maybe it's just that I hate being rejected, especially rejected by someone who I _did_ care about! Okay, _yes_ my brother raped his friend. _Yes_ , I had been there and watched, laughed my ass off in fact but that didn't mean I didn't care about Amir. I had so many feelings for that boy. I wanted to be his wife, his lover, the mother perhaps to some of his children. I had next to no ill will for him. He just needed to learn to respect me and Assef and I think everything would have been fine. This is what I truly do believe. That if Amir had just learned to obey me and my brother then he could have had a happy life with us. With me.

I truly did care about him and I don't say that about many people, as I'm sure you're well aware by now. Wouldn't you feel privelleged to be a person I care for? I know I would and do why didn't Amir? It was almost like my very presence, the very fact that I existed, disgusted him. Like he wanted me to disappear off the face of the Earth. I felt so fucking depressed just thinking about it.

All I had wanted was to have his respect and love, and for him to have mine. For him to be mine and to obey me the way that other people do. Is that so much to ask? Really? I wouldn't have hurt him the way that I hurt Adia. He would have been safe. He _would_ have been _happy._ _We_ would have been happy! No, that would never be. Not now. Not ever. He seemed to be absolutely terrified of both me and Assef.

We apparently scared the shit out of him. I felt really downtrodden today. I picked absent-mindedly at the food on my plate. Assef took notice of this. ''Kiddo, are you okay? You haven't touched your food,'' he said. I looked up at him and smiled sadly. I managed to swallow down a forkful of food and looked pointedly at my brother.

''No, nothing's wrong. I'm fine thank you. Honestly,'' I tried lying. But Assef was the one person who knew me better than anyone and he knew when something was bothering me. There was nothing that I could hide from him.

It was certainly tough to try in any case. He patted his knee and beckoned me over with one finger. I grudgingly got out of my chair and went over to my brother. I sat down, perched at the edge of his knee. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in close. He brushed a lock of hair back from my face. ''Now, I know that something's wrong, kiddo. You've been like this all morning. Are you sick or something? Do you want me to call a doctor for you?'' he asked in concern.

I bit my lip and shook my head. ''No. No honestly I'm fine. I-I'm just sad that Amir's been ignoring me. I guess you could say that I miss him.'' Assef rolled his eyes.

''Sweetheart, you deserve better than that little kunis. Okay? Nobody should treat you the way that he did and one day he will pay for that. I won't let anyone hurt my baby sister,'' he said with conviction.

''It just hurts,'' I said.

Assef nodded. ''I know it does, kiddo. I know it does. But you just forget about him now. Don't even think about it anymore.'' Easier said than done, I guess. I rested my head against Assef's chest. ''Wali and Kamal told me that they have a surprise for us today. Up at the barracks. Would you like to go?''

I shook my head. ''No.'' I honestly didn't feel like doing anything today. Maybe I had fucking depression or something. I just wanted to sit around and mope.

''Please. For me. I bet it'll cheer you up. Do it for your big brother at least, can't you?''

I pulled back from Assef's lap. ''Alright. For you I'll go.''

''Good girl. I'm sure it'll make you smile again. Wali says that you'll like it.'' He kissed the top of my head. ''Go on upstairs and get yourself dressed. I'm sure you can find a pretty dress to wear. You have plenty of those after all,'' he teased. I punched him playfully on the arm.

''Well, you know I do.'' I rolled my eyes at this statement.

''In any case, kiddo, I'm sure you'll cheer up once you see what they have for you.''

''Do you know what it is?'' I asked.

''I haven't got a clue, kiddo. I just know that when Wali phoned me yesterday he said that he knew this would really make you happy.'' Assef beamed at me. ''And that's what I want. For my baby sister to be happy.'' He took my hand in his. ''Go up and get dressed now. Okay?'' I nodded. ''I'm going to make sure you cheer up today.''

He let me get down from his lap and set me down on the floor. ''You're going to love this. Trust me.'' I nodded.

''I believe you, Assef. I do. I'm going to get ready now.'' I forced a smile for my brother.

He nodded. ''Okay. Go on.'' With that having been said, I turned and left the kitchen. I trudged upstairs, the grin on my face soon being replaced with a sad frown. I honestly didn't want to go out to the barracks today. I wanted to just stay at home and mope around. That was how down I felt.

I just wanted to hide myself from civilisation. I didn't know whether the surprise would cheer me up or not, though I highly fucking doubted it. Still, if it made Assef happy then I would do it. For him I would do anything. ''This had better be a good surprise,'' I muttered angrily to myself. I entered my room and loudly shut the door. I made my annoyance known. 'Stop drifting into the fucking negative Saria. Your brother promised that this will make you happy. You trust Assef don't you?' I thought to myself.

Walking over to my wardrobe, I opened the doors and mused to myself about what dress I would wear. Something practical yet pretty at the same time. It would be fucking difficult for me to choose, but when was it ever easy? The clothes are quite the subject with me. I moved the hangers back and forth, making quite the ruckus as I did so. ''What the hell? I hate all these fucking things!'' I swore loudly. Maybe it was just how I was today but I honestly felt that every little thing was pissing me off. That was what Amir had done to me. He had broken my spirit and I just wanted to forget about him. I rolled my eyes at the sight of the clothes that I had to wear.

They were each as disgusting as the other. I finally selected a green and red plaid pinafore and laid it out on the bed. I took out a dark blue shirt and matched it up to the dress. Yes, it still looked ridiculous but it was the only thing I had that looked remotely nice compared to the other pieces of shit that I had. I slipped out of my nightgown and placed it in the clothes hamper in my room. I unbuttoned the front of the shirt as I changed into fresh clean panties. I wasn't going to wear any tights today. Too warm for it. I pulled on the shirt. It was very fucking tight but what could I do?

As I buttoned it up, I began wondering about the surprise that Assef said Wali and Kamal had. Would it _really_ cheer me up? It seemed to me like nothing could do this now. I was so mad and hurt about the way that fucking cunt Amir was treating me. I wanted to abuse or hurt him in some way. To make him feel the same pain he had put me through. To gut him like a fish, to have Assef rape him or something like that. To have him bleed to death under my feet. Rejection hurts like hell even for a person as violent as myself. It stings the heart, soul and mind.

I treated Amir with _respect._ I _cared_ for him and now he had the audacity to ignore me. To treat me like I was nothing less than the dirt under his shoe. No, that just didn't sit well with either me or Assef. Amir _had_ to pay the price for this. He had to learn that _nobody_ disrespects the Ahmed siblings. I don't care how much I may have cared for Amir. How much love I felt for him. He had hurt me once too much and he needed to pay for it. I was so furious at him. I pulled the dress over my head. I could only imagine the fucking state that I looked like right now. Here I go again bitching about what I have to wear!

I buttoned up the dress and brushed out the tangles in my hair. What surprise did Wali and Kamal have for me? It had better be fucking good! I was in no mood for any shit today. Perhaps they had found a new victim for us to torture. I certainly missed beating and humiliating people. I hadn't done it in such a long time. I picked up a black headband and placed it in my hair. I admired myself in the mirror. God I looked like a right fool. I had to lose that attitude.

''You'll cheer up soon, Saria. Once you see what's waiting.'' I promised myself. I decided I would no longer worry myself about Amir. He would pay for what he did one day. Of this I was certain. I was in control and I would remain that way. I left the room and closed the door behind me. ''Chin up now, Saria,'' I said.

I walked down the stairs to meet my brother. He smiled when he saw me coming towards him. ''You look lovely kiddo,'' he complimented me. I bowed my knees, smiling at him.

''Thank you,'' I said, running my hands down the front of my dress. ''It was the only fucking thing that I had that wasn't so hideous,'' I told him.

Assef laughed. ''You look pretty no matter what you'd wear,'' he said. I blushed demurely. Assef leaned against the bannister. ''Have you cheered up, sweetie?'' he asked. I nodded.

''I guess so. I'm sorry that I was on such a short fuse with you, Assef. I've just got a lot on my mind lately I guess.''

My brother nodded. He smiled at me. ''Don't worry about it. I know how much you cared for Amir. The love you had for that boy. I understand how you'd feel sad.''

''It just... It's stressful because of how much I _did_ care. I wanted to be his bride. I had so many dreams of the life we could have lived. I was so sure that it would work. Maybe that's stupid because I'm only twelve after all.''

Assef shook his head. ''No, that's not stupid at all, kiddo. Just because you're twelve doesn't mean that your feelings are any less important. You did care about Amir and I know how it hurts to have him ignore you. But he's going to pay for it.''

''I know that he will. I've thought about it for a long time now. I just want to make him suffer. To make him pay for hurting me. All one day, brother. All in due time.'' Assef nodded in agreement with my words. I jumped down from the last three steps and wobbled, swaying on my feet.

Assef laughed and caught me by the arm. ''Don't fall, Saria!'' he said, chuckling at me. He kissed the top of my head. ''I have to go and get a jacket for myself, okay? Go and wait in the living room.'' I did so as my brother went back upstairs to fetch his jacket. I swung my legs back and forth childishly.

Patience has never been one of my strong points and now I had become genuinely excited about the surprise that Wali and Kamal had in store for me. I could hardly wait to get out of the house. Staying in I knew would cause my temper to explode. It was just the way that my attitude was today. I had to stop myself from becoming negative. I had to be positive. This was going to be a good surprise.

My brother had promised me so and I trusted Wali and Kamal the same way that I trusted Assef. After about ten minutes, Assef came back downstairs, wearing the dark blue jacket that he had worn while raping Hassan. He took me by the hand. ''All set, kiddo?'' he asked, smiling at me.

''Yes.''

''Well let's go then.'' We left the house and began our journey up to the barracks. I could feel my feet start to sweat in their black flat shoes. My mind was drawn to Adia. I hadn't seen my bitch in about a month or so. She had not turned up to school in so long. I wondered whether she was sick or something.

Not that I cared any less whether she was or not. I just wanted her to suffer as much as fucking possible. To torment her. Just for shits and giggles. I also wanted to make Delbar my bitch one day. She seemed to be the type of person who would be easy to control. The type of girl who would easily do my bidding without question. ''What you thinking of?'' Assef asked.

''I'm just wondering where Adia's been for the past month. I mean, she's been out of school a lot. Maybe she's sick or something.''

''Maybe she's died!'' Assef exclaimed.

I laughed loudly. ''Well, we can only hope so!'' I replied. My mood seemed to be lifting immensely. I knew that this was from spending time with my brother. If only we knew what was to happen. The pain that we would soon face. That is for me to write about soon though. Not now.

The sun was now central in the sky. It provided quite a lot of this heat on this 14th June 1974. I clutched my brother's hand as we trekked up the steep hill to where the barracks were. How innocent I must have seemed to anyone watching me. How pure and sweet. I giggled to myself at the thought. They say that one of the traits of a sociopath is that they can charm people easily.

I guess that I fit the bill. That innocence that I can fool so many people with. The barracks were right up at the top of a steep hill. Assef lifted me up over the fence and then swung his legs over and crossed it himself. A light breeze had begun to blow, causing my hair to flop down into my eyes. Swearing, I moved it backwards, tucking it behind my ear. I was filled with anticipation and who wouldn't be? I had to know what this surprise was. I just HAD to! I wondered whether there would be another victim for me to torment and abuse. Another person to beat up.

We crossed the little creek by where the barracks were. I felt a little nervous as I slipped and slided over the tiny rocks and pebbles. The water flowed quickly under us. I latched onto Assef's hand and wobbled. ''I've got you. Don't you worry.''

I nodded. ''Okay.'' Assef gently guided me across the creek. He seemed quite happy today. He was in good spirits, anticipating the surprise just as I was. I was on tenterhooks as we neared the barracks. There were some old tanks, and everything was in total silence. I had a huge grin on my face and so did my brother.

''What do you think it's going to be, kiddo?'' Assef asked.

''Um, I don't know but I bet it'll be good. I can't wait to see it.''

''It's quiet here, Assef. Where is everyone?'' I asked.

''I don't know, kiddo.'' He glanced every which way. ''Maybe we're early or something. In any case, I'm sure that they'll be here in a minute.''

''I just don't wanna wait too long,'' I said childishly.

''Oh, me either, ki-'' Before Assef could even finish his sentence, a group of about four or so boys came up behind us. I recognised them as being the same boys who had taunted me when I had those cigarettes that I burned Adia with. I was quite shocked to see them again.

They grabbed my brother's arms and kicked him in the back of the legs. He fell forward slightly. ''ASSEF!'' I screamed. Assef began twisting and trying to get away from the boys holding him down. He managed to elbow one of them in the face.

''Fuck, you little cunt. You just knocked a tooth out,'' the boy swore. He twisted my brother's arm right behind his back. Assef continued to struggle.

''And I'll do far _worse_ than that if you don't LET ME GO!'' he yelled, kicking at the ground as they pinned both his arms and violently shoved him forward. One boy, with green eyes and an oval shaped face, backhanded my brother right in across the jaw.

''Enough of this shit. You're going to sit here and fucking co-operate if you know what's good for you,'' he snarled. I hissed up at the boy like a feral cat. This caught his attention. He began to laugh at me, doubled over, his palms on his knees. ''I see this little vixen still hasn't been tamed yet. No matter. Grab her.'' He ordered his friends.

Another group of about five boys came from behind the barracks and caught me round the waist. I recognised one of them as Aarash, Farsef's brother who Assef had told me skipped school a lot. I had tried to put him out of my mind. Aarash came up and picked me up, bridal-style. I began to kick and punch with every bit of strength that I had, even attempting to bite him once. ''LET GO OF ME!'' I screamed, wriggling like a fish caught at the end of a fish hook. ''LET ME GO!'' Aarash continued to hold me tightly.

''You're a feisty one, aren't you?'' he asked teasingly. He stroked the side of my face. ''This is going to make this a lot more fun.''

''AARASH!'' Assef screamed. ''YOU LEAVE MY SISTER ALONE, DO YOU HEAR ME? DO YOU HEAR ME YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE?!'' He was being held down in a kneeling position by three boys. One of them had placed a knee into the small of his back. Pure unbridled rage was the only way that I could describe the look on his face.

''Now now. Language, Assef,'' Aarash teased. He placed me down on the ground, still gripping my arms tightly. I continued to struggle like there was no tomorrow. ''Where's the rope?'' Aarash asked impatiently. I was surprised to see Wali and Kamal slink out of the shadows, two long pieces of rope in their hands.

They handed them to Aarash. ''Help me tie her,'' he demanded. They nodded obediently. Wali grabbed my wrists and yanked them forcefully behind my back. He wound a good lengthy sized rope around my wrists and pulled it taut. I snarled up at him.

''WALI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?'' Assef shouted. ''LEAVE SARIA ALONE!''

Wali just scoffed. ''I don't think _you're_ calling the shots, are you, Assef?'' he retorted. Kamal and Aarash bent down to secure my feet, binding rope around my ankles. I kept struggling. They flipped me onto my stomach and Aarash placed a foot on my chest to hold me in place.

''Looks like the hunter has become the hunted.'' He teased my brother. ''Do you remember how last year it was Fahrsan at your mercy? Do you know how it feels to see your baby brother in a hospital bed with no ear? To know that he's now half deaf for the rest of his life? DO YOU?'' he screamed. ''Everyone here has been hurt by you in some way, Assef. Every single person. You probably don't recognise them all, huh?''

At this, he gestured to the boys holding Assef. Assef turned around to glare at them. ''They've all suffered because of you and this little bitch here.''

Assef spat on the ground. ''You don't talk about my sister that way, Aarash. Do you understand me?'' Aarash laughed loudly. He looked down into my eyes. I showed him no fear. The other boys looked at me like lions wanting to eat a zebra or something.

I twisted like a salmon out of the water, a look of total rage on my face. I wanted to slit every one of their throats in turn. Aarash grinned at me. ''Am I making the little baby mad?'' He asked. I flecked my lips up at him.

''Let me up or I SWEAR I'LL...''

''You'll _what_ , Saria? What can you do? I don't think you're in a position to do anything, are you?'' Aarash mocked. He sneered over at my brother. ''Consider this punishment, Assef. We've been planning for months. You're going to pay for what you've done to every person here. Your little Saria is going to pay the piper on your behalf,'' he said.

''FUCK YOU AARASH! FUCK ALL OF YOU! UNTIE MY SISTER RIGHT NOWWW!'' Assef roared at the top of his lungs. Aarash began to pace around behind me. I flipped about, trying to loosen the rope. They were pulled very fucking tight and I could barely move. I wanted to kill these people. To make them suffer. They were now high on the list of people that I wanted to torment violently. Why were they doing this? What was the purpose of it?

''You're going to feel what I felt. What we all felt.''

He clicked his fingers, gesturing at the other boys. ''You boys have some fun with the tiny bitch,'' he said, smiling at them. The warm smile on his face didn't belong on the face of someone with eyes so cold. The other boys approached me, a furious, wild look in their eyes. Aarash snapped his fingers at the boys holding Assef. ''Make sure he watches,'' he ordered them.

One of them grabbed my brother's chin and forced it in my direction. They bent down so that they were on a level with me. I snarled. ''Awww, she's trying to fight back,'' one teased. I spat right in his mouth as he was speaking. I didn't even know who the fuck he was to be honest.

This seemed to make him quite pissed off. He drew back his hand and slapped me right in the face. My head reeled. I hissed in pain. ''Saria!'' Assef exclaimed. He growled at the boy. ''Leave her alone!'' the boy just laughed and slapped me again. I bit down on my lip, causing it to bleed. The boy grabbed my hair and pulled. Hard.

''Ahh!'' I yelped in surprise and pain. This got a great laugh out of all of them. They began to kick and punch every fucking inch of me they could find. I don't think there are words to adequately describe what I was feeling. I alternated between absolute rage and absolute terror.

''SARIA! SARIAAAA!'' Assef would scream every time that they hit me. ''NO! STOP! LEAVE HER ALONE YOU BASTARDS!'' He began viciously fighting against the boys holding him down. Once again they backhanded him.

''Stop fucking RESISTING!'' One screamed. This one certainly had a temper on him. It rivalled mine and even my brother's. The boys began to each take turns punching me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me. I doubled over, wincing in pain. Assef screamed again.

''SARIA! SARIA!'' he yelled in concern for my well being. Aarash began laughing.

''Isn't this fun to watch, Assef? Such a brave little girl your sister's being after all,'' he sneered down at me. ''You're so brave, _kiddo,_ '' he spoke sarcastically.

''DON'T YOU CALL HER THAT!'' Assef screamed in his direction. ''YOU HEAR ME? DON'T YOU DARE CALL HER THAT!'' he yelled. Aarash just laughed at my brother's rage.

''Aww, am I using your precious nickname? Aww!'' he mocked in a babyish tone of voice. ''Does it hurt, kiddo? Huh? Huh, kiddo?'' he kept saying repeatedly.

This was getting on my _nerves!_ The boys continued to slap and kick me. One tore the headband from my hair and broke it in half. The sound made me jump. ''LET ME GO! LET ME GO! YOU'RE HURTING ME!'' I screamed at them but to no avail.

It seemed that they were just going to keep abusing me no matter what I said or did. Assef screamed at the boy who was now repeatedly punching the side of my head. ''YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS! DO YOU HEAR ME?'' The boy just laughed and slammed my head down on the hard ground.

''And what exactly can you do to me?'' he asked my brother. ''Oh, that's right. Nothing. Not a fucking thing. So you just sit tight and enjoy the show.'' He laughed in my brother's face. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Wali take something out of his pocket. He approached me, his eyes bright.

''Your big brother has told us so much about you, Saria. He even mentioned a little phobia you have.'' At this, he waved the thing at me. I screamed loudly, turning my face away from it.

Ever since I can remember, I have been afraid of Agama lizards. I think that you would call them Alligator Lizards. I didn't know where this fear had come from. It seemed so stupid that I of all people would be scared of this tiny lizard, but I was. Maybe it was just how razor sharp its teeth were. Maybe. I don't really know.

Wali and Kamal both laughed as they waved the thing in my face. I began to breathe heavily, my face turning red. ''ASSEF!'' I screamed for my brother. ''ASSEF PLEASE! MAKE IT GO AWAY!''

''I'M SORRY, KIDDO!'' he called back as I begun hyperventilating. ''I should never have told them! I'm so sorry!'' I didn't blame my brother. He had trusted Wali and Kamal and they were now betraying that trust in the worst way possible. They stroked my face with the little thing.

I cowered back, away from it. What could I do? I was tied up! There was nowhere for me to run. My big brother knelt only five or six feet away and yet I couldn't run into his arms for comfort. I truly did feel like a scared little girl at this point. ''PLEASE GET IT AWAY FROM ME! PLEASE!'' I begged my tormentors.

They just laughed. ''But it likes you, Saria! See?'' I turned and found myself nose to nose with the thing.

''AAHHHH!'' I yelled, closing my eyes. ''TAKE IT AWAY!'' I kept on yelling at them. I felt so stupid, freaking out over a tiny lizard. I should be stamping on the thing. Matter of fact, I wished I could stamp on _them!_ To split their skulls right open. ''PLEASE!'' I screamed. Kamal laughed and let the thing crawl down my face.

''JUST STOP! LEAVE HER ALONE!'' Assef roared.

His so-called friends laughed. ''How many times have we asked you to leave us alone? To leave some poor kid alone? It's not so funny when it's _your_ sister, is it?'' Wali asked. I continued to scream. Pure terror was the only way to describe my feelings. Aarash laughed loudly at me, sadistically. His eyes wide with glee at my pain.

I could tell he was just as psychotic as even me and Assef. This prospect sent a chill down my spine. Aarash clicked his fingers again. ''Okay boys. Drop the lizard. I think that she's had enough of that, don't you?'' he asked. Nodding, Wali set the hideous Aligator Lizard back down. It passed a hairs breath from my face as it crawled away into the distance. Its tiny form getting smaller and smaller.

Finally I could breathe a small sigh of relief that the monster was gone. But the _real_ monsters still remained. Aarash began to pace around me like a hyena pacing around a corpse. He surveyed my injuries for a few minutes. I'm sure that they must have been severe. Aarash bent down and tugged at my bonds, making sure they were still secure. He tightened them slightly. They were now digging into my wrists. I knew that I was certainly going to have rope burns once these things were off. They fucking _hurt._ I don't think I need to mention the pain this beating had given me.

Every fucking place hurt. Do I even need to say this? I was feeling the brunt of their rage. Their hatred for me was real and unbridled. I could see it in their eyes. Aarash bent down to face me. ''Poor little thing,'' he said in a voice dripping with false sympathy. He ran a hand through my hair, pulling out a strand or two. He slapped me again.

''FUCK YOU, AARASH! LEAVE HER ALONE!'' Assef yelled again. Aarash began to cackle.

''You're like a fucking broken record, aren't you, Assef?'' he asked. ''Fuck you, Aarash, leave my sister alone, Aarash!'' he teased in a mocking, high pitched voice. He stroked the sure of my face gently with his index finger. I cowered away from him. ''Awww, your little face has gone all red, Saria. How sweet.'' He spat right in my eye. I gagged in disgust, feeling bile rise up in my throat.

Aarash twisted my arms until I felt certain they would break. ''STOP!'' my brother screamed. His captors just laughed at his attempts to get away.

''Enjoying the show, Assef jan?'' Wali asked. His eyes sharp with pure hatred. My brother just glared at his former friend. Now certainly one of his worst enemies and mine too. Aarash kicked me in the side.

''AHH!'' I yelped. The older boy grabbed me and forced me into a kneeling potion. He gently fingered my neck. ''Such pretty skin,'' he teased. ''Almost like a little porcelain doll. Hmm, almost _too_ perfect.'' He said. ''We need to add a little blemish. Now wouldn't you agree with that, Saria my dear?''

He reached into his back pocket. What he pulled out scared the shit out of me. And no, it wasn't another lizard thank _God!_ This time it was a small, cerated knife. The blade was stained with dried blood.

''NO!'' Assef screamed upon seeing it. ''NO! DON'T YOU DARE!'' Aarash tentatively pressed the blade against my skin. He forced my chin up and made me look into my brother's eyes. They were full of emotion. ''DON'T YOU HURT HER!'' Assef yelled.

''Oh, I don't intend to. Just give her a little scar. Something to remember me by,'' Aarash said flirtatiously. ''I did use this on another girl once. Only, she wasn't so lucky.'' For a fleeting moment, he pressed the knife against my jugular vein, then moved it further down the edge of my neck.

''Are you scared, kiddo?'' He teased, his breath hot on my face. I kept looking at Assef. The pain on his face was indescribable. ''Don't move now, Saria. I don't want this knife to slip and hit somewhere it shouldn't.'' I could only sit there. What fucking choice did I have? If I did anything I could well end up having my fucking throat slit. I closed my eyes in anticipation. I could feel Aarash's breath. Hear every move he made. Hear Assef's struggling. I whimpered, fear coursing through my veins. Aarash traced the knife just barely touching my skin.

''I want to get this just right,'' he said mockingly. ''You'll think of me whenever you see it.''

''WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?'' I heard Assef hollering. Aarash scoffed. ''Me? I'm not the one who bites off children's ears over kites. The one who torments children for no reason other than _boredom!_ '' he snarled viciously.

He pressed the knife against me. ''You just consider yourself lucky I'm not doing worse with this.'' He pressed it into my skin. A few drops of blood trickled down and onto my dress. I winced in pain and squeezed my eyes shut even tighter. ''Such a brave little one,'' the sadistic Aarash teased. He pulled my head back by the hair. ''Is it hurting you, sweetie? Is it?'' he asked.

More blood fell from the wound. A few tears fell from my eyes and mingled in with the blood. ''STOPPPPP!'' Assef screamed, thrashing. ''JUST STOP! DON'T HURT HER ANYMORE!'' Aarash just laughed off this plea.

''But doesn't she look better with this little cut on her neck?'' he asked. He pressed the blade in slightly deeper. My eyes rolled back slightly.

''Please! IT HURTS!'' I cried. Aarash laughed cruelly. My pain and misery was his pleasure. He was delighted at what he was doing to me.

''STOP! STOP THIS PLEASE! STOPPPP!'' Assef screamed at the top of his lungs. Aarash could only laugh at my brother's screams. I lowered my head as the knife made its mark. I knew that I would have this fucking scar for as long as I lived. Aarash pocketed the knife again. He traced the wound, a smile of the Devil on his lips. He sent chills up my spine. He truly did. Aarash shoved me down again. I landed with a thud on my side. 'Fuck that hurts' I thought to myself. I felt so scared. Like a cornered animal. Aarash was a psychopath, there was no denying it.

The violent older boy kicked me in the stomach. He flipped me over onto my back and straddled me. He was stroking my head in much the same way that you would stroke a puppy. I whimpered, tears of pure terror filling my blue eyes. He gently rubbed my cheeks. ''So beautiful. Isn't she?'' he asked the boys behind him. ''She's a stunner. So cute,'' one of them replied. Aarash had a hungry look in his eyes. The look of a dog in heat. It was scary. Aarash leaned down and gently kissed my forehead.

His hand travelled down my dress. He lifted it up and grabbed the sides of my pink lace panties. He gently touched the edges of my thighs. ''Tight. Hmm. So tight you are, Saria. Tell me, has your big brother ever given you a taste of the shaft?'' he asked in a whisper, yet still loud enough for my brother to hear.

''NO! I NEVER FUCKING TOUCHED HER! I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!'' Assef shouted in total rage. Aarash continued to touch the insides of my thighs. He stroked the back of my head with his free hand. I could feel the tears sliding down my face. This was as scared as I had ever been in my life. I was just wanted to run to Assef.

To have him hold me and make this all disappear. Part of me wanted to die. For this pain to end. I felt more like a hamster in a laboratory than a human being. I was so dirty and violated. So humiliated and hurt. I started to sob slightly. Aarash wiped a tear from my eye.

''Sweetheart, don't cry. This is going to be FUN!'' I began to shiver at the tone of his voice. It was lustful or something. He cupped my chin. ''My, my. What a cute little girl.''

He knelt down at my feet and spread my ankles slightly. ''Not going to go far with the rope around them. Oh well. This is going to hurt a bit more then. I'm sorry, Saria,'' he said in a tone that conveyed that he was in no way sorry at all. ''Hold her legs,'' he ordered Wali.

The boy gladly obeyed. I was too scared to even try to struggle now. I just wanted to die. Aarash fingered the buckle of his jeans. ''Me and your sister are going to have some fun,'' he said. ''Have fun watching us, Assef.''

''Please,'' I heard Assef beg. When I looked over I could see that tears were sliding down his face.

Aarash took notice and mocked this. ''Aww, look everyone. Assef Ahmed is crying,'' he teased.

''Please, Aarash. I'm begging you. Don't do this to her. Please. Do it to me if you want.'' My eyes widened.

''NO ASSEF! NOOOOO!'' I screamed. I didn't want to see my beloved brother get hurt. I would take whatever Aarash gave to make sure he stayed safe.

''Please,'' Assef cried again. ''Rape me, Aarash. Do whatever you want to me. Slit my throat right here and right now.'' With this, my brother lifted his chin up, exposing his neck. I shook my head frantically.

''Nooooo!'' I hollered. "PLEASE NO! PLEASE, ASSEF, DON'T DO THIS! DON'T LET THEM HURT YOU!"

Assef ignored me. ''Do whatever you please with me but I beg of you don't do this to her. Please. Not my sister. Not my Saria,'' he whispered. Aarash looked from me to Assef. Then back to me again. He got up and wandered to where Assef knelt. He cupped his chin and forced him to look into his eyes.

''Torture you instead of her?'' he asked. ''Such a tempting offer, Assef,'' he mused.

''ASSEFFFFFF! ASSEF NO!'' I screamed. I wished someone could come and save us.

''Hmm. No thank you. This, watching me rape her, it will hurt you more than me doing this to you would. Sorry, Assef but I just cannot take you up on this offer. Besides, I've never fucked a half German girl before.'' I could hear my brother start to sob desperately.

''No.. No... Saria...'' he cried. Aarash wiped a tear from Assef's eye the way he had done with me.

''Don't cry. I'll give you a turn with her if you want,'' he mocked. Then he made his way back over to me. He straddled me once again. ''Let's you and I have some fun. Huh?'' He asked teasingly. He began to unbuckle his jeans. I was now filled with total dread. I didn't know what it would feel like to get raped and I didn't want to know.

I honestly had never been more terrified. Aarash stroked my face again. ''No.'' I heard a voice say. I was surprised to see that it was Kamal that had spoken. He pushed Aarash away from me. Everyone looked at him in total surprise and shock. Kamal held a firm hand on Aarash's shoulder.

His eyes sharp with a strangely protective look in them. ''No,'' he said again. ''Don't rape her, Aarash. Don't do that to her. She's just a little girl.'' Aarash scoffed at his words.

''She's a monster, Kamal jan. Do you not see that or have the dresses and curls fooled you too?'' He hoisted up my dress. I could hear Assef breathing heavily from where he knelt only a few feet away. I turned my head away. 'Don't look. Don't look and it'll all be over soon,' I promised myself. Kamal, it seemed, still wanted to have the final say.

''She's just a kid, Aarash. She's only a year or so older than your brother.'' Aarash looked from me to Kamal.

''She's a little whore who needs to pay,'' he hissed.

''And she will. Just, not this way. Please.'' I felt shocked. Why was Kamal now suddenly attempting to protect me? Why now? Why after he had already tormented me with that Aligator Lizard?

Was there some glimmer of hope that perhaps he _did_ care for me after all? Then I saw the look that he was giving Assef. It was the kind of look that a disobedient child gives a parent. He didn't care about me at all. He was just afraid of what Assef would do to him. Aarash gently touched the hem of my dress. Would Kamal's words have any effect on him? To be honest, I didn't feel that they would. I know what psychopaths are like, you see, being that I am one myself. I felt sick to my stomach. Genuinely sick to my stomach. I could see no way out of this terrifying situation.

I was going to get raped, Assef was going to watch and there was nothing, _nothing_ that either of us could do to stop it. Now, I know what you're going to say. You, Saria Ahmed, murdered two people. Assef raped countless victims. You _deserve_ this. No, no we don't. The people we hurt deserved everything that they got and then some. We however do not deserve this. No way.

The minutes ticked by. They felt like hours. I hoped I would just be able to curl up and die. To have this all _end!_ I couldn't even bring myself to open my eyes. I could feel Aarash gently stroking my face. My brother's cries echoed in the somber silence. 'Nobody will ever love you after this.' I thought to myself, tears sliding down my face. 'No man will ever want a girl who's been raped. You filthy slut.'

A strange thing for me to think at the time, but it was how I felt. If only Amir wasn't ignoring me. Then I wouldn't have needed cheering up and this never would have happened. ''Don't do this.'' I heard Kamal say again. Would Aarash listen to him? Or would I get raped?

Aarash sighed deeply. ''Fine,'' he said, exasperated. ''I won't rape her. I have another idea. This one is even better.'' He smiled smugly to himself. I tensed up. What was he going to do? Aarash snapped his fingers at my brother. ''Hand over your brass knuckles,'' he ordered.

Assef shook his head frantically. ''No! No way!''

''Hand them over now,'' Aarash snapped. He grabbed me by the hair and pulled my head back. He materialised that horrid blade and pressed it against the jugular vein of my throat. I whimpered in terror. ''Hand them over or watch as I slit your sisters throat ear to ear. Right here and right now.''

I heard Assef sobbing as one of the boys reached back into his pocket. He pulled out the knuckles and extended them out to Aarash. ''I'm sorry, kiddo. I'm sorry.'' He choked out. Aarash took the knuckles from my brother and slid them onto his hands. He smiled to himself as he approached me again. I bit my lip in anticipation of what would happen to me. Aarash knelt down and smiled sadistically.

WHAM! He acted and I was met by a fist nailing me in the side. I realised that breathing itself was agony as my ribs snapped like twigs under his feet. He cracked me across the jaw. I screamed in agony. Tears were spilling down my face. ''NO! SARIA!'' Assef screamed desperately. He could do nothing to help. The threat of my death loomed over him. Aarash began to tease me as he pummelled me viciously.

''I bet your big brother would _love_ to be doing this to you right now. He doesn't love you at all. Would he have brought you up here if he did?''

''THAT'S NOT TRUE!'' Assef yelled at me. ''I love you, Saria! I love you! I didn't know about this! I didn't know!'' he cried. I believed him. Of course I did. Why would I have done any different?

''Has he ever hit you?'' Aarash asked, gesturing to Assef. We both tensed up, remembering that one time Assef had slapped me. The day I found out about Abdul. Our silence was enough of an answer.

''Oh so he _has!_ I _knew_ it!'' Aarash gloated triumphantly. He leaned down to whisper in my ear. ''You're worthless, Saria Ahmed. You're disgusting. You know something? Assef never cared about you. He's only pretending that he does so that he can use you. You just can't see this because you want to believe that at least one person cares. That you're not the unloveable piece of shit we all know you to be.''

'My brother loves me,' I thought to myself with strong conviction. 'He loves me and I love him. More than anything.' I didn't believe Aarash's words for a second. Not one of them. Not _one._ Assef and I had been close since day one. I knew when my brother was lying and never has he _ever_ about his love for me. I was sobbing from the agony in my body. The pain coursing through my very bones. ''Look at me. Look at me, kiddo,'' Assef implored me. I hesitantly turned my aching face to see him. ''He's lying, kiddo. He's lying. I love you so much, kiddo. Okay?'' I tried to nod but moving my head was too painful.

I felt the tears sliding down my face. Aarash continued to brutally pummel me. ''Stay strong, please, sister. I love you! I love you!'' Assef kept repeating over and over. He was looking at me with such desperation on his face, his eyes pooling over with tears. ''Enjoying the show everyone?'' Aarash asked again.

The boys surrounding him laughed. One of them kicked me in the side of the head. I screamed in agony. ''BASTARDS! ALL OF YOU! FUCKING BASTARDS!'' Assef screamed. Aarash scoffed at him.

''You're enjoying this too. Don't deny it,'' he said. He punched me in the stomach repeatedly. It was total agony. Do I even need to say this? Aarash punched and hit every bit of me that he could find. He grabbed my arms and twisted my wrists around.

''It hurts, stop, no, no!'' I cried desperately, hoping to hit a spot of sympathy within my tormentors. There appeared to be none. I could feel the total agony overwhelming my body. So this is what it felt like to be assaulted with brass knuckles.

It was total and utter agony. Now I knew why they were Assef's favourite weapon. They could certainly cause some damage. I wondered if Aarash had ever used brass knuckles before. The expert and torturous way that he wielded them on me told me he had to at least have come across them. Aarash gestured to one of the boys holding my brother.

''How's the German cunt doing?'' he asked.

''Crying pretty bad here, agha,'' one answered. ''Like a little baby.'' Assef flecked his lips and hissed at the boy. He was met by another sharp slap in the face. I screamed. Aarash waved a hand in their direction, laughing.

''I feel bad now you boys can't have your fun with it this one here.'' He gestured in my direction. ''You having fun with the little bitch?'' one asked. Aarash nodded, his eyes glowing with hatred. I wanted to die. For this whole horrid business to end. Aarash clicked his fingers again. The sound of it was getting on my nerves.

''Ha! I have an idea!'' he exclaimed. ''Do you know what I'm thinking, Dehqan?'' he asked the boy who had lost a tooth to my brother earlier. 'How much time has passed?' I wondered. Dehqan smiled widely.

''I think there's a little someone here who hasn't had fun with Saria yet. Someone who's suffered too much at her hands.'' Aarash nodded his head. He walked back to my brother and slid the brass knuckles into his pocket. Assef began breathing heavily.

''There's a certain little girl that deserves her due payback for what your sister did to her, now wouldn't you agree with that, Assef dear?'' he asked coldly.

''Saria..'' Assef choked out. Aarash walked to someone hiding behind one of the empty tanks. He took this person's hand.

''Come on out and have some fun sweetie?'' he asked kindly. He led her out to face me. Who I saw next shocked me! No! No way! Approaching me with an evil grin on her face was Adia. The little bitch, _my_ little bitch who I had claimed as my property last November. She had to have been in cahoots with Aarash.

Now it all made sense. Why she had been missing from school these past few months. She has been with _him_ , plotting this. She wore a knee length blue pinafore with a white shirt underneath it. Her black hair was tied in two plaits. The way Aarash held her hand was almost brotherly. Like he cared for her in some way. Perhaps they had formed a bond.

The hatred they had for me and Assef binding them together like glue. Aarash tucked a lock of hair behind Adia's ear, grinning sweetly at her. ''There she is, Adi. Just like I promised. Your best friend.'' Adia began to circle around me.

A grin on her face. ''I promised myself, the day that Masood died. I would pay you back for everything you did. All I ever wanted was to be your friend, Saria. To share secrets with you. Like sisters.''

Her voice cracked. ''I never had a sister, you know. Never. And I.. Always wished that I had. Mama can't have any more kids. I thought that maybe... Just maybe, you could be that person for me. That you would care for me and I would finally have that one thing I always dreamed of. But no. You just see me as your plaything. Something to use and abuse.''

She bent down so she was right in my face. ''That ends here and now. No more will I be your victim! Not now, not _ever_!'' she screamed loudly in total rage. She reached into the top pocket of her dark navy pinafore and pulled out a small lighter. Not unlike the one that Assef had bought me.

It was silver in colour with the letter A carved twice on the front and back. 'Adia and Aarash,' I thought. 'How sweet.' Adia slapped me hard across the face. If I had a coin for every time someone's done that today... She began kicking me repeatedly. I couldn't speak for screaming.

''NO!'' Assef yelled desperately as Adia flicked on the lighter. Bright orange flame sanded and glowed a mere three inches from my face. My eyes widened in fear and terror. 'I'm going to be burned,' I thought. 'Like Fahrsan.' My bitch leaned down so we were nose to nose. The flame still inches from my left eye.

''I'm going to burn you with this.,'' she mocked me. ''So you can get a little taste of Hell fire. It's where you'll end up, in any case.'' That was when something truly snapped inside me. My bitch. My _bitch_. This girl was _my_ property. I owned her. I always have and always will. I saw past the rage in Asia's eyes to the absolute fear that she still held for me. The terror reflected in the pools of her black eyes.

The way her fingers trembled around the lighter. She was still scared of me. I could read her like an open book. I owned her like an animal. She was mine and I would not allow her of all people to do this to me. I could feel the total rage in my mind. I gritted my teeth and stared defiantly at Adia. The flame flickered in her hand, symbolising the flames of the total hatred that coursed through my veins. I flecked my upper lip. ''No. NO,'' I hissed, defiant. A look of shock passed Adia's face.

''No, Adia. You will _not_ harm me. Get that thing out of my face or I... swear... I'll...'' I hissed vehemently. She backed up a little. Breathing heavily. Her eyes darted every which way.

''Come on, Adia! Burn the bitch! Burn the bitch!'' The other boys chanted, clapping their hands together in anticipation.

She shook her head. Terrified. She looked up at Aarash in total and utter shame. ''No. No,'' she said. She looked at me. I was the monster under her bed, darkness incarnate. She was scared of me. Angry though she was, she was terrified of me. ''I-I can't.. No..'' She was so ashamed of having shown weakness like that.

''I can't do it,'' she admitted. She switched off the lighter, hanging her shoulders in total defeat. She couldn't even bring herself to look in my eyes. 'You own her, Saria. You own her,' I thought to myself, like a mantra. Adia was shaking like an autumn leaf.

If I wasn't tied down, I would kill her right here and right now. I glared at her in total defiance. ''I can't do it,'' she cried again.

She bowed her heard and I saw a few tears fall down her dress and plop onto the ground. She trembled with shame. Aarash hoisted her to her feet. He put his hands on her shoulders. ''It's okay if you can't. We don't think any less of you,'' he told her sweetly. ''You gave her quite a good slap.'' Adia looked at me, and I saw the real reason she couldn't burn me. A reason that ran deeper than fear. Something she had that I never could. A conscience. She felt _guilty_ for hurting me. For having the urge to do so in the first place.

She was in essence what one would call a 'good' person. I wanted to slit her throat ear to fucking _ear_. She was now shaking in fear from me. ''Again, Adi,'' Aarash said. 'Does he call her that like Assef calls me kiddo?' I wondered. ''Again, it's okay that you can't do this. I understand that you can't. I do.''

He pulled her into his arms. ''Shh. Don't cry now. You did really well. Would you like to go home now?'' At these words, she began nodding frantically. She looked at me again. ''Alright then. Okay. Go on.''

He curled her little fingers around the lighter. He pushed it towards her body. ''Go home.'' At his words, she left us. The look she got from Assef when she passed him was nothing short of pure evil. My brother had the eyes of a killer, even if he couldn't kill just yet. She let out a sharp squeal of terror as she broke into a run away from him.

Aarash began to taunt me again. ''Adia might be afraid of you, but that doesn't mean I am,'' he said. I could feel the hot, wet tears sliding down my face. I could feel nothing but pain and terror.

''No,'' I choked out in total desperation. All I wanted was to die. To run and never come back. I wanted to be held by my brother. The one person who loved me. Who understood and felt this same pain I was feeling.

Tears filled my eyes and kept pooling over. My face was saturated. I wanted to be safe again. Aarash pulled my hair and leaned into my face. ''You're a dirty whore,'' he snarled. ''You worthless German bitch. You don't belong here. Go crawl back to Germany where you belong and die, die like the scum you are. You're so stupid. So stupid.''

He growled. He took another swing at my face, hitting me again in the jaw. He kicked my side. I screamed in agony. Every move aching.

''NO! STOPPPP!'' Assef yelled at the top of his lungs. Aarash just laughed as he continued to violently beat me. ''STOP! ENOUGH! IT'S ENOUGH! SHE'S GONE THROUGH ENOUGH! PLEASE!'' he kept screaming at Aarash, his voice broken between tearful sobs. I felt total agony in my very bones and soul. I wanted to die and for all of this to end.

How many times have I said this now? The other boys began laughing loudly at my suffering. Yes, even Kamal who had protected me earlier. I was as scared as I had ever been. Aarash slammed my head again and again into the ground. SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! ''DON'T! NOOOOO! STOPPPPPPP!'' Assef screamed, twisting desperately. I looked at him. He was crying harder than I had ever seen him cry before. ''SARIA!'' I heard him screaming.

''Saria!'' Aarash mocked. ''Ha! What an enthusiastic audience member we have here,'' he teased. He punched me in the stomach. ''What did you think of that, Assef? Come now, you seem to know all about beating little kids. Am I doing this right? Should I hold my fist at a specific angle?'' he asked.

He stomped on my chest. I screamed again. 'Please just let me die. Let this end,' I desperately thought over and over. 'I don't want to hurt any more. I don't want Assef to see this.' I wanted to end this. 'Please let it fucking end.' Aarash spat on me repeatedly.

''Filthy dog! FILTHY DOG! DIRTY LITTLE CUNT!'' he screamed again and again. He kept on hitting and hitting me. I began to drift in and out it consciousnesses. I could barely see anythin any more. I just felt the total pain and agony that Aarash put me through every moment.

''SARIAAAAAA!'' My brother screamed. Tears were sliding down his face and his voice was choked with sobs. ''STOP HURTING HER PLEASE! PLEASE!'' he begged. Aarash began to laughs like a person who has truly lost his mind. ''SISTER!'' Assef cried out again. His voice was beginning to fade.

I knew that the end was coming. Such a somber thought for a girl of twelve. I felt dizzy, hazy. Aarash laughed as he punched over and overs I was in agony but strangely enough, somehow I felt almost at peace with this pain now. ''SARIAAAAA!'' Assef yelled.

I turned to smile at him. ''I love you. I'll be with Abdul now,'' I mouthed. He crumpled and began screaming my name. Again and again.

''SARIA! SARIA!'' 'So this is how everything ends,' I thought to myself. ''SARIAAAA!'' Assef screamed again. The last sounds I heard were those of Assef screaming and Aarash laughing before everything went black.


	25. After the Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Assef was held down and forced to watch as his baby sister was brutally beaten and molested by Aarash and his friends. Saria was equally as shocked to discover that Adia was in cahoots with Aarash. She soon lost conciousness.. Now we continue with the same day as Saria discovers the full extent of her injuries...

 was dead. Yes. There was no other way about it. I tried not to think about it as the sounds around me grew dimmer and dimmer. I tried to push it to the back of my mind. To convince myself that I was going to be _fine._ That I was _not_ going to die today. But it couldn't be helped. The thoughts creeped into my fragile mind no matter how much I tried to push them out. No matter how hard I tried not to think of them. No matter how much I tried to change the subject. That was the only thing going around in my head.

'You're going to die,' I thought to myself. 'You're going to die here. You're going to die and there's _nothing_ and _no one_ who can save you.' The strange thing was, I was okay with this. Scared to death yes, pardon the pun. But oddly at peace as well. What had transpired today had only strengthened me in the knowledge that the whole world is against me. That everybody hated me, even though all I ever fucking wanted was to make this world _better._ I wanted to have the perfect race, the perfect family, perfect life. Now is that really so much for a twelve year old to ask?

It struck me then just how young I was. 'Twelve,' I thought to myself. 'I turned twelve this year. I had a pink dress on. With ribbons. Mama and Papa gave me a big birthday party. With fireworks.' I smiled inwardly as I thought of them. Their brilliance and beauty lighting up the sky. I thought about how happy I had been. I truly had felt like the innocent little girl everyone else perceived me as. You see, I'm not a monster. I do find beauty in simple things. Yes, most of the things I find beauty in involve the torture of other people. Their rapes and murders.

But still, I can appreciate things that other children do too. Like fireworks. Big, bright fireworks like they had at my twelfth birthday. A surprise, Papa had said. For his little girl. His little girl that was now dying. And where the fuck was he? Certainly not here to save my life, that was for sure. I hoped that Mama and Papa would _suffer_ when they came to fetch my body from the morgue. I wanted them to feel pain, guilt. To know that they could have saved me if only they had not gone away. I wanted them to suffer. The thought gave me peace. I wanted to have something good to hold onto before I passed on.

What's the afterlife like? I wondered this as I lay here. Surely one could argue that somebody like myself would go straight to hell. That I would be sent to be tortured for all eternity. I didn't believe this though. I tried to make the world better. I tried and I failed. You cannot hold this against me and neither can any God that may or may not exist. Now I was beginning to get scared.

Maybe it was fear of death or the unknown. Or Hell fire. What would await me? I didn't know. I felt scared and at peace all at the same time. Yes, I know that sounds odd so fucking shoot me! I knew that I should feel _safe_ if I were dying but I didn't feel that yet. Maybe I had to just let go of the fears and doubts in my mind for me to pass on. I tried to clear my mind of any thoughts. To let go of anything I might have been holding onto. I wanted to move on. I wanted to be at eternal peace. All I wanted was for the fear and pain to end.

'God take me. I want to go.' I thought to myself. Apparently he wasn't getting the fucking _memo._ I was beginning to get seriously pissed off at the guy in the sky. Why wasn't he taking me? WHY AM I STILL FUCKING HERE? WHY DOES IT STILL HURT? All I could see was total darkness all around me. Total blackness. It scared the fucking shit out of me. I wondered whether this was Hell. Is this what I have to look forward to? Eternal blackness. Perhaps it represented my heart? Hmm. How fucking ironic for me. Bright spots of light danced in front of my eyes. Now what the fuck was going on now? 'Right God this had better be fucking _good!_ ' I thought to myself.

All I wanted was to have some goddamn answers. I'm not a patient person as I'm sure you have guessed by now. I do _not_ like to be kept waiting. Not even by a deity. God and I were going to be having a _serious_ talk when I _eventually_ moved on to wherever the fuck it was that I was going to. 'Come on God! COME ON!' I thought vehemently. The bright spots of light were getting even fucking brighter. They were now almost blinding me. 'Great. Just fucking great. I'm blind as well as dead,' I thought to myself. The spots seemed to dance all around me. Now I was getting pissed.

They were moving to form a single object. A tiny figure standing before me. A little boy. 'Okay God, now what the fuck is happening?' I thought in confusion. The little boy stood in front of me, bathed in brilliant golden light.

He wore a pair of blue dungarees with little red buttons on them. He had light, blond coloured hair which was starting to curl slightly at the top. His skin was a delicate, light shade. Like a little cherub doll. His eyes were a vibrant blue and he was barefoot. He waved his star-fish shaped hands at me. 'Sister!' I heard his sweet voice in my head. I found myself standing in front of him. 'Sawia!' he said, unable to pronounce his 'R's.'

'Abdul?' I thought to myself. I knelt down and gathered my lost brother into my arms, choking back sobs. 'My brother. My brother,' I thought to myself, tears spilling down my face. Abdul looked up at me and gently kissed my face. His innocent mannerisms were so charming. I could really feel the genuine love that he had for his 'baby' sister. Well, that seemed to be more like I was the 'big' sister now, didn't it? I felt tears drip down my face and onto Abdul's blond curls.

It made me sad for the life that he could have lived with me. Abdul gently kissed me once again on the cheek. I started tearing up. I truly felt compassionate for this little boy. Maybe we were going to move on together? I would like that. To have my brother take me to the next life. We held each other for what seemed like forever. I wanted to protect this little boy from everything bad that the world could do to him.

How sweet it was to watch his little hands grab my finger, to see his little face lighting up at the sight of me. I'm not a monster. I do feel things. I DO feel love and caring. But only for my brothers. Abdul rested his head on my chest for a few long minutes. 'Sister,' he said again.

'Brother,' I replied. I held him as tight as I could, not wanting him to leave me. I wanted us to move on together. As family. Abdul kissed my face again. He gently took my hands and guided them away from himself. 'What? No!' I thought desperately. My brother began to toddle away from me.

I got up and started to run after him. 'No Abdul! NO! NO!' I thought desperately to myself as I struggled after Abdul. He took one last glimpse of me before he started to fade away. 'No! No!' I collapsed to my knees on the ground. My body wracked with sobs. 'DON'T LEAVE ME BROTHER!' But he couldn't, or wouldn't hear me, as he glowed a brilliant golden colour, then disintegrated into nothingness.

I could feel the blackness returning. I couldn't even see myself anymore. Was I doomed to walk around in blackness for all eternity? 'Abdul!' I thought. 'Brother, come back!' I could hear laughter. Aarash's voice.

''Aww, get up you filthy whore!'' he teased. I felt something nudge my body. Perhaps his toe. ''Oh well. I've had my fun here in any case. Come, boys.'' He said to his followers. I could hear them cackling. The blackness still remained. One of the boys must have spat on me again because I felt something wet and sticky hit me in the face. It was fucking disgusting!

At least I didn't seem to be dead. That was good. Aarash's laughter rang in my ears as he and his goons ran past me. Their footsteps thundering like echoes. I still could see nothing but blackness. Could I even open my eyes? ''Well, thank you for letting us spend time with your sister, Assef. We had fun. Thanks.'' I heard Aarash say in that irritating voice of his.

The boys holding my brother must have dropped his arms, because I heard them laughing and the sounds of footsteps thundering away. I wanted to move. I wanted to get up and run to my brother, but I couldn't. Assef was at my side in an instant. I felt him flip me over onto my back as he frantically struggled to untie the rope binding my wrists and ankles.

''Oh God, how fucking tight did he _tie_ these thing?'' My brother swore to himself. His voice was still slightly blurred. I felt him pulling at the rope around my wrists, loosening it. I felt him flip me over onto my stomach, then gather my limp body onto his lap. ''Saria?'' I heard him say, his voice choked with tears. ''Saria please, kiddo. Wake up! WAKE UP!''

My poor brother must have been in bits. I could hear the desperation in his voice. The terrified pleas. I honestly didn't feel as though I could move. I wanted to. I _wanted_ to, but I couldn't. I was still as a fucking statue and there was nothing that I could do about it. Assef began crying my name out again.

''Saria, Saria!'' he cried. I felt his hand gently stroking my head. His touch was soft, peaceful. A welcome comfort to the blackness that I now found myself in. I had time to ruminate. Why? Why had this happened to me? What did I ever do to Aarash to make him hate me so much? To make him want to hurt me in such dreadful ways. Why had he done this to me? What had I _done_? Why did these boys hate me so much? All I could think about were these questions. Thanks to my fucking state of unconsciousness all I could fucking do was think. Such a boring feat for me. Assef continued to stroke my hair. His voice sounding more and more desperate.

''Come on, kiddo, you know I don't appreciate people messing around,'' he tried to joke. The somber mood didn't leave any time for joking, however. I could hardly imagine what was going through my dear brother's head at this moment. Nor do I want to. I could tell he was crying just by listening to him. I felt such genuine pity. ''Saria, please kiddo. Wake up. Wake up, kiddo.'' I heard him crying out in total and utter desperation.

I wanted to fucking wake up! Believe me I did. Do you think I _enjoy_ hearing the one person that I love cry over me? Would you? I don't fucking think so! Assef continued to stroke my hair and face, all the while calling out for me to wake up.

''I'm here, kiddo. Okay? Assef's here, sweetheart. Just... Saria, don't you dare do this to me! DON'T YOU DIE ON ME, SARIA AHMED! Please, sister...'' he trailed off, his voice choked with tears and desperation.

I felt so fucking pissed off at myself. My big brother was crying over me and I couldn't even fucking open my eyes or speak to him. 'You are going to wake up right now, Saria Ahmed.' I chastised myself. I forced my fingers to move, latching onto my brother's hand as he placed it over my own. I managed to squeeze his fingers tight. ''Saria?'' he asked, a hint of hope in his voice.

''Saria, kiddo, can you open your eyes for me? Can you do that?'' he asked. Slowly, very slowly, my eyes flickered open. I looked to my right. A blurred shape loomed over me. I blinked a few times and Assef's face swam into focus. His eyes were bloodshot and his nose runny. He definitely had been crying for a long time.

Perhaps hours or more. I wondered how long I had been lying here? How much time has passed while I lay in total darkness? Assef's face broke out into the happiest smile I'd ever seen from him. He began breathing heavily. ''Thank God,'' he whispered. I found this rather ironic seeing as how my brother wasn't exactly the religious type. Assef gathered me into his arms and gently cradled me. ''Thank God, thank God,'' he kept repeating over and over to himself. I felt some of his tears fall onto my blonde curls.

Neither of us spoke for a moment. There were no words that could adequately describe what we were both feeling. Not even the finest parchment could convey the complex range of emotions we both felt at this time. For what seemed like eternity, we just held each other. Big brother and little sister.

Then Assef cleared his throat. ''Saria, oh God, I am _so_ sorry, kiddo. This is all my fault, I'm sorry, if I hadn't been so fucking stupid!'' He said all in one breath. ''I should have known, I should have _fucking known_ that something was up. I don't speak to Wali or Kamal in weeks and suddenly they have a surprise? Stupid, so fucking STUPID!'' He berated himself. ''I never wanted... Oh God, I'm so sorry.'' Was all he could seem to say over and over again.

I placed a finger over my brother's lips to hush him up. ''Assef..'' I said. ''This is _not_ your fault. Do you understand me?'' I spoke sternly. ''Aarash did this. Wali and Kamal did this. You didn't do this. You couldn't have known this was going to happen. I don't blame you, and you shouldn't blame yourself either.'' I said with strong conviction.

Assef rested his head against mine, tears streaming down his face. His body racked with sobs. He couldn't find the words to say. I just let him cradle me, tears spilling from my eyes and onto my torn, bloodstained dress.

''I love you,'' Assef said, stroking my cheek. ''I love you so much, kiddo. Okay? You know that, right?'' he said.

I nodded as best as I could. ''Yeah, Assef, I know. I love you too, big brother,'' I whispered. Assef smiled sadly and kissed my forehead. I felt so happy to be alive and to know that he was here with me. I looked down at myself. My once pretty dress was now completely torn and stained with blood and dirt.

My shoes were scuffed from where I had kicked at the ground and I noticed harsh red rope burns around each of my ankles. I also noticed matching burns on my wrists. My left wrist was mottled with bruises and twisted at an odd angle. It was very fucking obvious that it was broken. I had bruises on the insides of my ankles from when Wali had forced them apart just before Aarash was about to... I shuddered at the thought.

I took a deep breath, then instantly regretted it. There was a burning pain in my right side. Clearly Aarash had broken at least one or more of my ribs. The pain in my stomach and lower abdomen was excruciating, as was the pain in my wrist, legs, and jaw. Every fucking part of me ached. Perhaps I was on adrenaline or something that I didn't feel it earlier. Perhaps it was just that I was so happy to be alive, to see Assef again. Perhaps it could be any combination of these factors but what did it matter? I was in total and utter agony now. Assef placed the back of his cool hand against my burning cheek and I screamed, pushing him away. That's how sore it was.

My eyes rolled back as I shook in pain. I started screaming and shaking. ''What? What is it?'' Assef asked, his eyes widening in concern.

''Hurts. It HURTS!'' I screamed. My throat was hoarse from all the screaming that I had done. Nothing that Assef said or did could soothe me.

''Where, kiddo? Where does it hurt?''

''Everywhere!'' I exclaimed. Perhaps I was being a bit overdramatic here but this was honestly how I fucking felt.

''Can you be specific, honey?'' Assef asked.

I gulped. ''My ribs, my left wrist, my right ankle and my stomach. All of my stomach,'' I explained.

Assef's breath hitched. He gently placed a hand on my forehead. ''And you're really burning up here, sister.''

I was in shock it seemed. ''Really, Assef? Cause the rest of me is freezing. Maybe it's just cause my dress is ripped,'' I explained.

''Maybe, kiddo,'' my brother replied. He looked down at me in utter dismay. ''Your face.'' He said. ''Your jaw is just covered in bruises,'' he said sadly, shaking his head. His eyes pooled with tears again. I honestly felt genuine pity and compassion both for him and myself in this moment. Assef didn't seem to know what to do. Whether to hold me or not without hurting me.

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed deeply. Assef got up from his kneeling position and began to pace around me. He took quick, sharp breaths. I just lay there, unable to move. ''I need to get you to a hospital.'' Assef said. He extended his hand to me. ''Can you walk, kiddo?'' he asked. I took my brother's hand and tried to pull myself up. Tried being the fucking operative word. I staggered against Assef and almost sent both of us careering to the ground. My brother gave me a sympathetic smile.

I couldn't hold the weight on my ankle. 'Yup, I've definitely broken this fucking thing.' I thought to myself. Assef placed a hand on the back of my head. The blood had already dried in my pretty blonde head. I hope I won't have any fucking brain damage like that Fahrsan cunt. How ironic would that be?

Assef held me upright. ''Best thing to do I suppose would be for me to carry you,'' he told me.

''To hospital?'' I asked. ''But that's like 2 hours away in the car.''

Assef shook his head. ''No, not that hospital, sweetheart. There's another one, just after opening up. Only about ten minutes or so on foot," he explained.

''Okay,'' I said.

''Right, I'm going to pick you up now, kiddo. Alright?'' I nodded. Assef bent down and placed his hands under my knees. I wrapped one arm around his shoulder as he scooped me up bridal style.

''It's a good thing you're so light, kiddo,'' he quipped. I giggled slightly. We started making our way back down the barracks. I felt a little jumpy as Assef began to cross over the creek. It had clearly been raining while I was passed out. The stones looked very slippery. I didn't want my brother to go flying into the water.

''Be careful, Assef, please,'' I said.

''I will be, kiddo.'' He tightened his grip on me, trying his best not to cause any harm. I still felt very fucking nervous as he crossed over those wet and slippery stones. Finally, we got over it. My mind was drawn to Aarash. The fucking bastard who had done this to me. I looked up at my brother with tears in my eyes.

''He... touched me,'' I admitted, almost ashamed of this fact. ''Aarash touched me. On the.. panties.'' I began crying with total shame.

''Oh God...'' Assef breathed in deeply, tears streaming down his face. I brushed them away with my thumb.

''Assef, when he was about to... And then you... You tried to..'' I couldn't even find the right words for the situation. To express the deep gratitude that I felt. ''Thank you,'' I said. ''But please, I couldn't bear to see you hurt. I couldn't. I would rather _die!_ '' I emphasised. Assef's breath hitched when I said those words.

''And I would rather die than see my little sister get... get raped,'' he replied. ''You have absolutely no idea how special you are to me, Saria.'' I could tell he was getting emotional again.

''In any case, thank you. Knowing you would go through all that for me. It means a lot.''

''Anything for you, little sister.'' Assef replied. He began making his way, cautiously, down the hill. I clung to him the way a toddler would to their parent. The pain was indescribable. Assef just kept stroking my hair in an attempt to soothe me. It hurt like hell. Do I even need to say this again?

''How much longer?'' I asked.

''Not long, kiddo. Just hang on in there for me. I know it hurts.'' He tried to soothe me. ''Saria, we need to think of a story as to why you are this way. To keep Mother and Father from knowing.'' I understood why my brother was saying this. It was to keep us both in the clear when the time for vengeance eventually came. ''Oh! I know. We'll kill two bird with one stone. I'll say you were mugged by a Hazara.''

''Hopefully then the police will find one and execute him for it.'' I managed a slight giggle.

''Hopefully, kiddo.'' I could see the large white building that was the hospital getting closer. Assef had barely carried me up to the gate when two nurses came flying up the path toward us.

''Oh my God! Oh my God!'' One exclaimed as he saw me. ''Get her a stretcher, STAT!'' she yelled at her comrade. I was taken from my brother's arms and placed down on a stretcher. The nurses were taken aback by my injuries. As would most people be I assume. ''It's going to be okay, darling. It's going to be okay,'' said one of them. I appreciated her kind and gentle nature. I really did. ''What's your name, little girl?'' she asked.

''Saria. Saria Ahmed,'' I replied.

''And you are?'' she barked at my brother.

''Assef Ahmed. Her older brother,'' Assef replied. They wheeled me into the hospital. I was surprised by how fucking clean it was. Everything was absolutely immaculate. Nothing out of place. The nurse, whose name I honestly can't remember, wheeled me into Accident and Emergency.

''How old are you, Saria?'' she asked.

''Twelve. I'm twelve years old,'' I answered. She looked astounded at this fact. Yes, I know, I'm fucking small. What am I supposed to do about it? A tall, athletic looking doctor in about his early thirties came over to us. He seemed just as taken aback by my injuries.

''Little girl, what happened to you?'' he asked.

''I got mugged. By a Hazara man,'' I lied through my teeth. The doctor just shook his head.

''He just came out of nowhere and started attacking her. I tried to stop him but he was too strong. He said he would kill her if I did anything,'' Assef added, seating himself on one of the vacant chairs.

''You're her brother then, I assume?'' the doctor asked. He leaned over to shake Assef's hand.

Assef nodded. ''My name is Assef Ahmed and this is my baby sister, Saria,'' he said.

''Well Assef, Saria, my name is Dr. Behnam.'' He placed a hand over mine. ''I'm going to make sure you get the best possible care, okay, sweetie?'' he said.

I nodded. ''Okay.'' I replied with as much innocence as possible. ''Do you want to call your parents and let them know what happened?'' Dr. Behnam directed this question to my brother. ''There's a phone just around the corner, in our office,'' he explained, gesturing to it with his finger.

''Alright then. Be back in a minute, kiddo.'' With that, Assef left me alone with the doctor and nurses. One of them, a slightly pale, overweight nurse, was becoming teary eyed at my predicament. Perhaps she had children around my age or something. I don't know. I don't even know the names of these bitches to be honest.

Being around people who aren't my brother makes me feel very awkward and a situation like this just makes it ten times more awkward. ''Poor child.'' The woman said sympathetically. I almost rolled my eyes. After about twenty minutes or so, Assef came strolling back, hands in his pockets.

''I got through, but they're away on business and can't get back. In which case, I'll be acting in loco parentis for her,'' he told Dr. Behnam.

''And how old are you?'' Dr. Behnam asked.

''I'm sixteen. Seventeen in August,'' Assef replied.

''Alright then,'' Dr. Behnam turned to face me. ''I'm just going to perform a quick examination on you. Okay, dear?''

"Yes, sir. That's fine.'' He took out a stethoscope and placed it on my chest. Breathing in and out was very fucking painful what with the state of my ribs. ''Okay, sweetheart, can you extend your right arm for me?'' I did so with ease. ''Hmm. And your left, Saria?''

I shook my head frantically. ''I don't wanna! No, it hurts! No! Assef!'' I complained. I probably sounded more like a two-year-old than a twelve-year-old. Assef was understanding. He put his hand on my leg reassuringly.

''It's okay, kiddo. You don't have to if it hurts.'' Not one to be ignored, however, that cunt Dr. Behnam grabbed my wrist and inspected it. I let out a gasp of pain, gritting my teeth. ''I'd say that's broken. And your ankle too,'' he said.

''No shit,'' Assef snapped in German. I smirked. The doctor didn't even take any notice of us. He just kept scribbling things down on his pad. ''And did you say your tummy hurt too?'' he asked.

''Yeah. The bad man just kept hitting and hitting me there. I begged him not to but he just.. kept hitting,'' I explained. Dr. Behnam nodded.

''Okay, sweetie. I'm just going to lift up your dress. Can you lie back down for me?'' I'll admit, I did tense up when he said he had to lift up my dress. Wouldn't you if you had just been felt up?

''It's okay, kiddo,'' Assef reassured me in German. ''He won't hurt you.''

''What language is that you're speaking?'' Fat Nurse (I'm calling her that since I don't know her name) asked.

''German. Our mother is German.'' Assef told her. She nodded at this fact. Dr. Behnam slowly lifted up my dress. He inhaled sharply when he saw my injuries.

''Oh sweet lord!'' He breathed. ''What kind of sick monster would do this to a little girl?'' he asked, shaking his head.

''It doesn't even bear thinking about,'' Fat Nurse replied. Dr. Behnam began feeling around my stomach. It hurt more than words could describe. I hissed in pain every time that he pressed down.

''Now sweetie, I think we're going to need to get you down to X-ray. Just to see the extent or the breaks,'' he explained. ''Nurse Arghavan will take you to change into a hospital gown. Okay?'' I nodded. Nurse Arghavan wheeled me into a small room and shut the door behind me.

She helped me to remove my dress and change into a cotton hospital gown. Thankfully the fucking thing wasn't backless so I didn't have to worry about exposing myself to the whole of A and E. ''Can my brother come in with me?'' I asked.

She nodded. ''Of course, dear. If that's what you want.'' With that being said, she once again had me lie upon the gurney as she wheeled me down the corridor. I was struck by the amount of people that were here. So many injuries. I spotted a young boy of about five, nursing a broken arm. I had to refrain from laughing out loud as we passed him and I got a glimpse of his tear stained face.

'Dumbass' I thought to myself. I kept looking straight ahead as I was wheeled into the X-ray room. ''Dr. Behnam will bring your brother down in one moment.'' Nurse Arghavan explained kindly. She took a deep breath. ''Little girl, uh, Saria, can you tell me what this man looked like who attacked you?'' I racked my brains for a few minutes, trying to think up a description.

I then remembered a Hazara man who I had often seen around the market. ''Um, he was tall. Really tall like six foot or thereabouts. He was wearing a dark red chapan with beige trousers. Um, he had green eyes and brown hair. I think he may be somebody's servant or something. I don't know.''

''And he just started attacking you?'' she asked.

I nodded. ''Yes. I was out for a walk with my brother, and we took a short cut through this small alley. The mean man just came out of nowhere and started hitting and beating me. I don't know why.'' I said in a childish manner. Even after such a brutal attack I still was able to manipulate others. She bit her lip.

''It's okay, sweetie. We'll find and punish whoever did this to you,'' she said kindly.

'Not if I punish him first,' I thought to myself. I smiled at her. ''Thank you. That's all I can hope for,'' I told her sweetly. She placed her hand over mine. Hopefully the Hazara man who I just described would end up getting the rap for this. Yes, I still wanted to see Aarash get his due punishment but it would be even better if a Hazara got punished too. Even some innocent man who had nothing to do with my beating.

What did I care? Hazara's were scum anyway. Nurse Arghavan ran her fingers through my matted blonde hair. After about five or so minutes, Dr. Behnam appeared, closely followed by Fat Nurse and my brother. ''Okay, Saria, I'm going to ask you to lie up on the table there. Can you do that for me?''

''Sure.'' I hopped up gingerly on the long, cold table. Dr. Behnam stood behind a large machine, holding a button in his hand.

''This will only take a few minutes, darling. I need you to be very still for me,'' he said.

''I can do that,'' I responded. Assef smiled at me.

''We'll do your arm first,'' Fat Nurse explained. Oh, now I remember what her name was!

''Yes, that would be a good idea, Nurse Fareiba,' Dr. Behnam said. The overweight cunt made me extend my left wrist onto a small plate. There was a click and a flash. Dr. Behnam smiled at me.

''Good girl, Saria. You're doing very well. Just three more times now and we'll x-ray your ankle and chest. Alright?'' The x-ray machine clicked three times in quick succession. 'Let's get this fucking over with.' I thought impatiently. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Dr. Behnam made me extend my right leg onto a plate.

I bit down on my lip. ''That's it, honey,'' he said as the machine clicked and flashed. ''Two more times from different angles.'' He said. Nurse Fareiba twisted my agonisingly sore ankle this way and that while the machine clicked and flashed on and off. This was getting to be very fucking tedious.

I just wanted to get myself sorted. ''You're such a good little girl,'' the doctor commented. ''Okay now, sweetheart, we're going to X-ray your chest now. Nurse Fareiba is going to put a plate over your chest. Okay?''

''Okay.'' I responded. Well what the fuck else was I supposed to say? In any case, what could I do about it? The nurse placed a large plate down on top of my chest. It was very fucking tight.

''Can you take a deep breath and hold it for me? Can you do that, Saria?''

'Fuck this is going to hurt,' I thought to myself. I did as the doctor ordered. Tears filled up in my eyes. Assef gently ran his fingers through my hair, trying to offer some comfort to me. He smiled at me. ''It's okay, kiddo. It will be over in just one moment,'' he said. The machine clicked and flashed again in succession.

''There. All done, sweetie. We're just going to take you to a ward now while we wait for the results. Would you like a private ward or would you like to go to the children's ward with other little girls your age?''

I made the decision in a snap. ''A private ward,'' I told him. I didn't need to spend time with any stupid little bitches. I prefer solitude. Now I would think this would be pretty fucking obvious.

''A private ward it is then. Nurse Arghavan will be taking you up there now.''

''Come and lie back in the gurney, Saria. I'll help you, dear,'' she said in a gentle, kind voice.

''Thank you kindly,'' I responded. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder as she supported my weight over to the gurney. I lay down again. Assef took my hand and gently squeezed it.

''I'm here, kiddo,'' he said. Nurse Arghavan wheeled me into an elevator with my brother close behind. She pressed a button.

''We have a ward on the third floor,'' she explained. I didn't answer her. We reached the third floor and I was once again wheeled down _another_ fucking corridor. If I had a fucking coin take every time that had happened today. We reached the ward. It was small, white walls, small single bed and bathroom. I was helped onto the bed by my brother. He took one of the vacated seats and placed his hand over mine.

''Dr. Behnam will be in in just about ten minutes with your results. Do you want anything?''

''No, thank you.'' She nodded and seen herself out. Assef rubbed my hand with his thumb.

''It's all going to be okay, kiddo. You're going to be fine,'' he tried to reassure me.

''My stomach hurts,'' I said.

''I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'll make sure you're taken care of,'' my brother promised. ''And that those who did this to you are taken care of too.''

''Let me take care of Adia. She's _mine!_ '' Do I even need to say what language we were speaking in? ''Of course,'' he nodded. He began to pace about the room.

''In that case, kiddo, leave Wali and Kamal to me. I promise you those boys are going to regret throwing away the friendship we had since we were five.''

''Are you going to stay friends with them?'' I asked.

''Those boys are going to be showing you and I a _lot_ more respect. Either that or they'll pay the price,'' Assef promised me. He stood by the window, palms resting on the window sill. After about ten minutes, Dr. Behnam entered the room. A large clipboard was in his hands. He had a grim look on his face.

''You have a hairline fracture in the radius of your wrist, four of your ribs are broke and your ankle is broken.'' He looked at me. ''What is this world coming to, where someone would harm an innocent child? Why in God's name would a sweet little girl have to be hurt this way?'' 'Doctors probably said that about Ara too,' I thought.

''I guess some people are just mean. That's all,'' I replied innocently.

Dr. Behnam looked grimly at me. ''Saria, sweetheart, we also found that you have a lot of internal injuries around your abdomen. We need to take you into surgery immediately to fix you up.''

I went into immediate panic. My heart began to hammer like a trapped bird in the cage that was my ribs. Tears streamed down my face as I shook all over, both from the fear of this operation and the agonizing pain in my ribs. 'I can't breathe..' I thought, making my panic increase. Dr. Behnam placed a hand over mine, a look of concern etched upon his features. A sob clawed its way out of my chest, followed by another, then another, until I was in floods of tears.

I reached my hand out for my brother ."A-Assef, p-please, I don't wanna go for an operation. Please!" I managed to choke out between my sobs and the agonising pain in my ribs. Assef took my tiny hand in his.

He sighed. ''It's going to be fine, sweetheart. Nothing's going to happen to you. I promise. They have to do the surgery to fix your injuries.'' I started crying like a little lost toddler. I certainly didn't seem like the dangerous sociopath my victims know me as. Could I help it? I hated being in the hospital and the prospect of having these people cut me open and play with my organs was downright terrifying.

Dr. Behnam tried to reassure me. ''Sweetheart, everything's going to be fine. You're in the most capable of hands. Okay?'' I still wasn't convinced.

''I'm _scared,_ '' I wept. I buried my face in my hands. This fear was genuine. Hospitals have always unnerved me when I'm the one inside as a patient. I didn't want to die here like Masood or Fahrsan. I pounded the bed with my fists. ''No, no, no, no!'' I cried. Assef reached out and grabbed my fists. he held then tightly and looked right in my eyes.

''Glaubst du, ich werde zu lassen diese Fotze alles tun, die Ihnen schaden würde?'' he asked seriously. This translated out to ''Do you think I'm going to allow this cunt do anything to harm you?''

I cocked my head to the side. ''Nein, ich weiß ihr habt nicht gewollt. Ich bin einfach nur Angst. Denken Sie an die Jungen mit Blinddarmentzündung? Ich will nicht ficken enden wie ihn!'' This meant ''No, I know you wouldn't. I'm just scared. Remember the boy with appendicitis? I don't wanna end up like him.'' Dr. Behnam looked on, not knowing what we were saying.

Assef squeezed my hand. He switched back to speaking Farsi. ''Saria, I'll be right there in the operating theatre with you.''

''Um, no you won't,'' that fucking doctor interrupted. ''I'm sorry but only the parents can come in. Hospital policy.''

''I'm the closest thing to a parent she _has_ right now!'' Assef replied, fists clenched.

''That may be, young man, but the fact still remains that you are _not_ this child's parent. You are her brother,'' Dr. Behnam responded in a stern voice. I seriously wanted to bash this guys brains in and rip his eyes out. To slit his throat ear to ear. I could tell from the look in Assef's eyes that he wanted the same thing. Dr. Behnam was one of the lucky few who got away with fucking with the Ahmed siblings. If this had been at _any_ other time I probably would have slashed him into ribbons.

''Can't you make an exception? You see how scared she is?'' Assef asked.

''No exceptions. You can stay right outside the operating theatre but you are not to come in,'' he ordered. I fought to keep that innocent look in my face. I wanted to do unfathomable things to this man. Assef held my tiny hand in his.

''It's going to be okay, little sister,'' he tried to reassure me. He stroked my hair.

''I wish you could go in with me, brother,'' I said. I was milking the little girl act now. I wanted Dr. Behnam feeling guilty for his stupid rule. Pulling heartstrings is one of my gifts, along with murder and torture.

''I know, kiddo, but I'll be right there outside. You're going to be fine, sweetheart.'' He gently kissed me on the cheek and squeezed my hand with reassurance.

''When are we going to the operating theatre?'' I asked.

''Uh, we'll have to go down there straight away. Your injuries are that severe,'' he explained to me in that patronising manner most people use when talking to a small child. I had to resign myself to my fate I guess. ''I'll bring in a gurney,'' he said. I nodded. I had no fucking choice did I? I had to do this. Dr. Behnam left the room and returned with the gurney.

''I want you to lift me onto it,'' I told my brother as it was wheeled around to the other side of the bed.

He stood up. ''Um, is that allowed or is there some sort of hospital policy against that as well?'' He asked Dr. Behnam cockily. The doctor shook his head and waved a dismissive hand. Assef lifted me up and gently placed me on the gurney. He walked by my side as we made our way to the operating theatre. ''You'll be fine kiddo. I'll be there when you wake up.'' He gently kissed my forehead.

''I love you. More than my own life.''

''I love you too, brother,'' I responded. I was then taken inside and placed upon the operating table. Nurse Arghavan placed a mask over my face. She gently stroked my cheek.

''Nighty night, sweetie pie. Everything will be fine,'' she said patronisingly. I seriously wanted to kill her. Her and all the other medical staff in this place.

I entertained the fantasy of using the scalpel to slowly slice their heads off and take a piss down their necks. Dr. Behnam would be first, no doubt about it at all. ''Everything will be fine, sweetheart,'' he told me, fixing his latex gloves. I seriously wanted to bash this guys brains right in.

To put enough holes in him he'd look more like a piece of cheese. I felt so groggy, so tired. Everything was becoming blurred. I turned my head to the right and saw Assef standing there at the window.

''I love you,'' he mouthed at me. I smiled slightly. I could hear the noise buzzing in my ears. I looked at Nurse Fareiba. I wanted to bash her face in with a blunt object until I cracked her skull right open. It was with this satisfying thought in my mind that I eventually dozed off into sleep...

''Saria? Saria? Wake up, kiddo, your operation is over.'' I heard my brother's voice. He gently stroked my head. My eyes flickered open. My head was pounding. Assef gently brushed a lock of hair behind my ear. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

''How are you feeling, little sister?'' he asked. I paused.

''Um, my head hurts, and my stomach.'' I looked down at myself. There was a large section of white gauze wrapped around my midriff. My arm was in a fibre glass cast. I had stitches going up in a line on my stomach. ''Was the operation a success?'' I asked timidly.

Assef nodded. ''Yeah.. Yeah it's fine. Everything worked out,'' he said. I could tell he was keeping something from me. I could see it just from the look in his eyes. They were filled with unfathomable sorrow. His eyes spoke volumes to me. I began to panic. What had gone wrong? Why did Assef look at me like this? I took his hand in mine.

''Assef, what's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that? Did something happen?'' I asked tentatively. I was almost afraid of the answer. Assef hesitated. He bit down on his lip.

''No, nothing's wrong, nothing went wrong. You're going to be fine, but...''

''But what?'' I asked in a panic. I sat up. ''But, _what!_ '' I looked at him in total confusion. Assef took a deep breath. He stroked my hand gently. I was having a near panic-attack now.

My brother struggled to find the words to say. ''Saria, do you know what your Fallopian tubes are?'' he asked. I thought about it for a moment.

''Yes. I do know what they are. They're in my womb.'' Now I was becoming worried. Why was my brother mentioning Fallopian tubes and wombs? What the fuck did that have to do with anything? Assef looked deep into my eyes.

He began talking to me in German. ''Sar, Dr. Behnam told me that when Aarash punched you... The extent of the injuries... It..'' he sighed. ''What happened to you. It's damaged your Fallopian tubes beyond repair. Do you understand, kiddo?''

''I don't,'' I admitted.

Assef sighed. ''Look kiddo, you can't have children. You'll never be able to get pregnant. It's irreversible. I'm sorry, kiddo.'' I shook my head frantically. I turned my head away from my brother and folded my arms.

''No. No, it's not true. You're joking, Assef and to be honest I don't find this funny,'' I said, my voice cracking.

''Saria, would I joke about something like this? Something so important.'' He caught hold of me by the shoulders. ''Please look at me, sister,'' he said. I turned to face him, tears in my eyes.

''I'm so sorry,'' Assef whispered, pulling me to him. I began to sob uncontrollably. Why had this happened to me? What was so wrong with me that I would be denied the chance to be a mother? I could feel my heart shatter, taking my dreams with it. No more Alainda, no more Assef junior. I could almost picture them dying; these children that I might have had.

The tears flowed without stopping. I probably looked a right fucking mess but as of now I just didn't care. Why was Fate so cruel to me? Assef attempted to soothe me. ''Shh, it's gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be okay. Stop crying.'' he said, rocking me back and forth. I began to cough.

''Why.. Why would this happen? Am I that much of a bad person?''

''You're not a bad person, don't think things like that about yourself.''

''But.. something must be wrong with me.. I must be a bad person.. I must be.. I.. I.." I broke down in tears and buried my face in Assef's chest. "Why, brother, why did this happen to me?"

''I don't know why this happened, kiddo, but I promise you, this is _not_ your fault, it's Aarash. Do you understand? Shh, please stop crying, please."

I hiccuped. ''Assef, I'm sorry I won't be able to give you any nieces or nephews. I'm sorry.''

''Hey, I don't care about that. As long as my baby sister is okay that's all that matters to me. I could give two shits what anybody else thinks. You're the most important person in the world to me. Nobody else, just you.'' He gently kissed my forehead. I continued to sob uncontrollably. It seemed as though everything was going wrong for me. Why did this happen to me? I know I'm only twelve but a part of me did want children some day. Maybe it never would have happened, but I would have liked to have the fucking _choice!_ Now that had been taken away from me.

A fury like no other coursed through my veins. I clutched the fabric of my brother's shirt, trembling all over. Assef could do nothing to soothe me. He was holding back tears himself. ''I wish this hadn't happened,'' I said.

''I do too, kiddo, but I promise you, I'll make sure that you get the justice you deserve. Nobody has the right to hurt you, and Aarash is going to pay the price. Severe punishment,'' Assef said with conviction. I noticed Dr. Behnam peering around the door. He cleared his throat and came into the room.

''I see you must have told her,'' he said sadly. He squatted down so he was on a level with me and gripped my arms. ''Sweetheart, you have our deepest sympathies. This is all just so much for a little girl of your age to handle,'' he said. ''I'm sure you have a wonderful, long and happy life ahead of you though. A life full of prosperity. You just keep that chin up, sweetie,'' he told me, gripping my slim arms.

''I'll be okay, Dr. Behnam, I know I will,'' I said innocently. Assef continued to cradle me in his arms. He stroked my hair. ''Again, I am so sorry that this happened to you, but rest assured, we will find and we will punish the man responsible.'' I cocked my head to the side.

''Do you promise?'' I asked innocently.

''I promise, Saria. You have my word,'' he said soothingly. He released my arms and stood up. ''Now sweetie, we're going to have to keep you overnight for observation. Your big brother has already requested that he stay with you, okay?''

I nodded. ''Okay. What time is it?''

''It's about 9:00PM. You were a long time in that operating theatre. Okay, sweetheart, you make sure to call us if there's _anything_ you need.. Anything.'' And with that said, Dr. Behnam took his leave, leaving me and my brother alone once more. Assef continued to rub my back soothingly.

''You promise you'll stay?'' I asked.

''Of course, kiddo.'' I yawned. Assef pulled away from me and helped me lie down. ''You need to sleep, kiddo. Okay?''

I lay back on the bed. Assef gently stroked my hair, shushing me while my sobs began to die down. I turned my head towards him, the coners of my lips turning upwards ina small smile. ''I love you. Promise me they'll pay for this.''

''I love you too. And I promise.'' I fell asleep with a head full of the sweetest dreams of a gruesome revenge that would one day be mine.


	26. Loving Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria recieved hospital treatment for her injuries. She soon learned that her internal injuries were so severe she lost the ability to bear a child. With her womb now barren she vowed to make Aarash pay for what he did. Now we find she has gone home from hospital...

''I'm going to take a bath now, Mama, Papa,'' I said, getting up from the dinner table, folding my napkin and neatly placing it upon my plate. Just as I had been brought up to do. I took another sip of water from my glass and set it back down on the coaster.

Mama narrowed her eyes in irritance at the half-eaten dinner on my plate. "Are you okay, darling?" she asked. Her voice was laced with concern. She walked around to my side of the table and put a soft, gentle hand upon my cheek. "You haven't touched your dinner. What's wrong, sweetie?"

Of course, there was no way that I would tell her what was playing on my fragile mind. Not a fucking chance in hell! The less the bitch knew, the better. I lowered my eyes, biting my lip in an attempt to seem cute or endearing. "I-I'm fine, Mama. Really."

"Are you sure, daughter? You haven't been eating much this past few week." Mama put the back of her hand against my forehead and against my cheek. "You don't seem to have a temperature," she mused, more to herself than to me. "Still.. do you need to see a doctor?" The cunt pulled me into an embrace, stroking the back of my head. "Saria, you need to tell us what's wrong so we can help you."

Us, of course, being my parents. I clenched my fists behind my mother's back. It took everything within me to stop from lashing out and slapping the concerned look right off their ugly faces. 'Don't pretend like you care, you fucking whore,' I thought irately. "Nothing is wrong, honestly," I lied through my teeth. "I guess I'm just a little stressed out over school. Mullah Fahrsir Khan's been giving us lots of tests lately."

I remembered to speak politely, despite the fact that all I really wanted to do was to spit in both their faces and tell them to go fuck themselves. Papa reached across the table, taking my little hand in his and squeezing it tightly. "Just do your best, Saria. That's all you can do."

"I understand, Papa, and I'm fine. Really," I said. Mama gently pressed her lips to the side of my forehead and smiled, though she didn't look as though she believed my little white lie. "I'm going to bed," I reiterated again, forcing myself to give her a kiss on the cheek. I looked over at my brother.

Assef continued to absent-mindedly pick at the food on his plate. Mama and Papa didn't seem to take any notice of this. All their attention was focused on me. For some strange reason, Assef hadn't even made eye contact with me at all through out the entire meal. While it was of course impossible to truly be ourselves in the prescences of the shits calling themselves parents, meal times with Assef had never been this awkward.

Still, I doubted it was anything to worry about. So what if he didn't acknowledge or speak to me? It was only just for one night. My brother seems to always have something or other plaguing his mind. That was all that was wrong, I was sure of it.

''I'll probably get ready for bed once my bath is done. I'll see you tomorrow morning,'' I addressed the conversation to my parents. It was about eight or so in the evening. Hamilra had been late cooking up dinner today. Stupid Hazara cunt! Her meal was shit as usual. I wanted to break the plate and use it to cut her up. Mama had been busy this week so she hadn't had time to cook for us, which was a shame, because I truly did love my mother's cooking. Every time I ate something Hamilra cooked I would up with a stomach ache.

Perhaps this was part of the reason I hadn't eaten much tonight. ''Are you going to give your Papa a good night kiss?'' I very nearly rolled my eyes but I managed to hold my smile. My jaw ached from all the fucking grinning I was doing tonight.

''Of course, Papa.'' I walked around the table and gave both my parents a goodnight kiss. They smiled at how adorable I was being. I wrapped my arms around my brother's neck and kissed his cheek. ''Good night, Assef.''

He patted my hand awkwardly. ''Night, Saria,'' he replied nonchallantly. I pulled away from him and he once again turned his attention to his dinner plate. I decided I would think nothing more of this. Everybody had their off days after all. It would do me no good to worry or fret.

I did enough of that it seemed. I left the room and went upstairs. It was quite a cold Thursday night, with frigid winds and rain pattering the window pane. The bathroom always seemed to be very fucking cold and tonight would be no exception. I fetched two white towels from the closet. As I was doing so, I noticed Hamilra sweeping up in the hall. She lowered her head respectfully when she saw me. I would expect nothing less of the bitch. Having servants gave me a great sense of power.

It always had, ever since I was a little girl. Unfortunately, I had to keep up appearances around my parents otherwise I would have beaten the shit out of her more often. I went into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I started to run the bath, heating up the water. 'Fuck it. Cold,' I thought to myself as I began unbuttoning my dress. I was wearing a lilac pinafore with an off-white shirt underneath it. I slid it off and stood naked in front of the bathroom mirror. I looked at myself, shivering, my arms wrapped around my torso.

I had long since healed up physically from the torture that Aarash had put me through. I still had a small scar on my neck from where he'd cut me with the blade, along with a tiny scar on my nose. It looked like what happens when your glasses are too tight. It was not noticeable at all, except to me. I hated it. Absolutely fucking hated it. God, it was so ugly. Oh, here I go being melodramatic again! Even now I can hardly stand the sight of it. This blemish on my skin. It made me feel like I was no better than Fahrsan, or Masood.

'Don't think like that, Saria,' I chastisted myself. 'You're better than they are. You are.' Angrily, I closed my fist and knocked on my temple, as if hoping the message would sink in. 'Fuck this. Let's just get to bed as soon as possible,' I thought.

I dipped my toe into the bath. Once I was certain that the water was warm enough and that it wouldn't scald my ass off either, I slid into the bath. I quickly ducked my head under, allowing the water to flow over my face. It felt calming, peaceful. My broken arm and leg had healed up quite well, although at times they still pained me.

Sometimes my ribs still caused me a little discomfort. Tonight would be one of those fucking nights. It ached a little bit as I washed my face and body. At least one month had passed since my beating from Aarash. Still the memory of it I knew would stick with me forever. That's just what happens when you go through such a traumatic experience. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I guess one would call it.

I tried not to think of it. Bathing always managed to soothe my nerves. Maybe it was the calmness of the water or something. I don't know. Yet the macabre thoughts still raced in my head. I wanted revenge on everyone who had done this to me. Especially Adia. My bitch needed to learn who was in control. Payback was going to be a bitch for her. She was going to regret ever turning her back on and betraying her ''best friend.'' Of this I was certain. Thinking of the fun I could have with her always calmed me sufficiently. I could hear my parents and brother go to their respective rooms.

Neither Mama nor Papa wanted to spend any unnecessary time with their son. I couldn't understand why but I guess not everyone agrees with the ideas my brother and I share. Not even our own parents. Fucking assholes, the both of them. I shut my eyes as I listened to the sounds of two doors clicking behind their respective owners. It was probably time for me to go to bed.

I stood up and carefully stepped out onto the bath mat, taking care not to slip. I didn't want to fucking end up in another emergency room, now, did I? I wrapped a fluffy white towel around my body and used the other, smaller one, to dry the few strands of hair that had gotten wet from the bath. I vigorously rubbed my body dry. My room was about twenty four steps or so away from the bathroom. Hopefully I had remembered to close the fucking window. Didn't need to catch a chill on top of everything else that was wrong with me, though it would be just my luck if this did happen. It now must have been about half past eight or so.

I padded in my bare feet from the bathroom to my bedroom with the bundle of clothes in my arms. I gently shut the door behind me. 'I hope that Hazara cunt hasn't been in here,' I thought, tossing the clothes into the hamper. They weren't even dirty. Oh well, just some more work for her to do. If I couldn't physically harm her then I would make her work like the filthy dog she was. The thought of her slaving over clothes that didn't need to be washed at all was very satisfying for me. Stupid cow. I went over to my wardrobe and opened the drawers. My nightgown was neatly folded inside.

I pulled it out and slid it onto my body. The cotton felt warm against my aching ribs. After spending a week and a half in hospital, I could truly appreciate being back in my own bed. Do I even need to say how much I hate hospitals? Even in a private ward, I could get no fucking privacy. Doctors would come in and out nearly every five fucking minutes to check up on me. I hadn't had proper night sleep until I got back home.

Although, I suppose that was also because I had so much on my mind. Every time my head hit the pillow, the racing thoughts would begin anew. The rain continued to trickle down my window. It was very fucking annoying to listen to it. Rain was just another thing to add to the list of things that annoy the shit out of me, but what could I do about it? Besides, it wasn't even like I had to be outside now in any case. I watched my neighbours houses outside. I leaned my palms against the window sill.

The clock ticked endlessly on the wall behind my bed. As I stared forlornly out the window, I noticed one of my neighbours across the road get out of their car. The woman opened the back seat and took their baby son out. He was asleep in his mothers arms. I watched her enter the house with her husband.

The door shut behind them. Watching them made me think of what Aarash had so cruelly taken away from me. The ability to be a mother. To hold a baby in my arms and know that it was of my own flesh and blood. To know that it had my genes running through it. At the time I had only been a child myself, but now, all these years later, I fully understand the weight of the dreams Aarash had stolen from me

Dreams that now had been irreperably shattered beyond repair. Adoption was not an option for me. What would I want with a child that wasn't even biologically mine? I became a little misty eyed as I thought about it. Even weeks later the news hadn't fully sunk in. I suppose it never really would. Aarash had taken this opportunity from me and I was determined that he would pay for it. And pay dearly. What my brother and I would do to him would make what we did to our other victims look like nothing. I wanted to see him suffer for what he had done to me.

I suppose I don't even need to say this, do I? I wanted blood. Lots and lots of blood. I stepped away from the window and made my way to my warm, welcoming bed. There was no point in me trying to sleep just yet so I figured that I would read a book for a while. I had a stand with books on it just near my bed. I decided I would reread Rostam and Sohrab. It was my favourite story, simply for the pain that was caused to both the characters. Sometimes I wondered what it would feel like to murder my own child and not know. How would I react? Would I be in mourning or would I give two shits about it?

Well, I guess I'll never know that now. Now I would have to let go of this simple fantasy. The dream of motherhood was over before it even begun. I could only wonder why God was so cruel to me. Why fate seemed to hate me so. I would have been a good mother. I loved Assef, and I would have loved any child of mine the same way. Why would I ever hurt something that is my own flesh and blood?

'Fuck it, Saria, here I am getting upset again,' I thought, wiping my eyes with the cuff of my sleeve. I rolled my eyes. I just had to deal with what life had thrown at me. Roll with the punches as the saying goes. It wasn't as if I couldn't throw out my own punches, was it? I continued flicking through the pages of Rostam and Sohrab.

The young boy's pain was soothing to my tormented mind. It was almost like how reading a fairy tale would calm a restless child after a nightmare. Pain and torture are soothing to my very being. 'I wonder what it would feel like to stab someone with a sword?' I thought, barely suppressing a giggle. 'Would it be any different from using a knife?' I would make it my goal in life to find out. Yawning, my arms stretched over my head, back arching like a cat, I slid under the covers, pulling them up to my chin. Despite the constant thoughts in my head, it didn't take long for the beauty of sleep to overcome me...

I don't know what time in the night it was that I had this nightmare. It was probably a side effect of the trauma I had gone through. Still, that didn't make it any less terrifying.

_I am lying on the dirty, rough ground up at the barracks. My arms and legs are once again bound. Aarash stands over me, looking down at me with the eyes of the devil. I am shaking in absolute terror and I can see my brother kneeling with his arms bound behind his back. I don't dare look at his face. I can't bear to see the pain in his eyes. The look of absolute desperation._

_Aarash laughs, a low, inhumane sound that sent shivers right up my spine. He slapped me across the face, making the blood rush to my head. ''Aww, the stupid little cunt can't even fight back!'' he teases. He starts stomping on my chest, much like he had when this did in fact happen. I feel my ribs cracking under his feet. I start screaming with pain. Every breath was fucking agony._

_The other boys begin laughing at me. One leans down and spits right into my mouth. ''Taste it, bitch!" he mocks. I almost gag in total disgust. Aarash grabs me by the hair and slams my head repeatedly into the ground. SLAM! SLAM! SLAM!_

_The blood is seeping out of my pretty blonde hair. I can hear my brother's heavy breathing in the distance. His terrified sobs. I steel myself and look into Aarash's dark, cold eyes. I hold his gaze. To me he was the most terrifying person who ever existed on this planet. I wondered if Adia thought this way about me. She probably did. Aarash starts to punch my stomach._

_I scream in pain. A few feet away, my brother screams too. I can hear him swearing at the boys who were holding him down. He's obviously putting up a very good fight, though not good enough. Aarash laughs at my brother's feeble attempts to free himself from the boys who gripped both his arms. I notice Wali and Kamal standing on either side of me, wicked grins etched on each of their faces. I want to slit each of their throats in turn. To watch them bleed out at my feet. I alternate between rage and terror. Wali bends down so he was on level with me. He cracks me right in the jaw._

_I gasp and bite down hard on my tongue, causing it to bleed. Great. More fucking pain for me to deal with. Aarash bends down and forced my legs apart. He forcefully shoves my dress up and pulls down my panties, exposing me to everyone there. I begin shaking in terror. ''No, no, noooo...'' I cry. Aarash touches the insides of my thighs, just as he had in real life. I start whimpering in terror._

_''AARASH!'' Assef screams. ''Aarash, no! Don't you hurt her! It's me you want. Not Saria. Me!'' he cries desperately, tears streaming down his face. It breaks my heart._

_Aarash looks from me to Assef. ''Hmm.'' He wears the same curious expression he had when this did happen, but, unlike then, I knew the outcome would be drastically different. My psyche loves to torture me with horrible 'what if's', and tonight would be no exception._

_''No! Don't hurt my brother! Please, no!'' I beg, my lower lip quivering. "Please, I-I'll do anything, just please, leave him alone!" My heart begins to beat frantically in my chest as I looked over at my brother, his eyes catching mine. "Please, Aarash," I beg again, my eyes never leaving Assef's face for a second. "Leave him alone, it's me you want!"_

_"NO!" Assef screams, writhing against his restraints. "No, don't hurt her! Take me, not her! NOT HER!"_

_With an evil, evil grin painted on his face, Aarash gently traces the insides of my thighs. A cold shiver runs up my spine. "What do you say, kiddo?" he teases, using Assef's nickname for me, knowing how much it will piss me off. He gets up and wanders over to Assef. He places the blade of the knife against my brother's throat, leaning down to whisper in Assef's ear._

_"She's mine now," he whispers cruelly, just loud enough so that I can hear. My heart almost stops when Aarash slides the knife across Assef's throat, cutting it right open. Assef gags and blood spurts from the wound. He falls foward, his body slumping to the asphalt. I let out a terrified scream which echoes all around me._

"ASSEF!" came a high pitched shriek. It took me a few moments to recognize the voice as my own. I sat up in a cold sweat, gasping for air. Was this what a person with asthma felt like? I placed a hand over my chest. My heart was beating at about 100 miles per hour. 'It's okay. It was just a nightmare. Assef is fine.' My body still shook like an autumn leaf.

I needed comfort and there was only one person who could provide that for me. It must have been either very late at night or very early in the morning depending on how you looked at it. I got out bed and staggered over to the door. It took me about at least one or two minutes to find the doorknob. I tripped over my own feet as I stumbled out into the hallway. 'It's okay. It's okay,' I tried to convince myself. 'Assef's alive. He wasn't killed.' But I knew that I wouldn't be comforted until I saw my brother with my own eyes.

The walk to his room seemed to take forever. An endless journey. I was sweating profusely, my face satured with tears. Eventually I reached Assef's room. The door was shut as usual. I didn't even bother to knock. I just flung the door wide open. The slamming noise reverberated as it hit off the wall. Assef sat up in bed. He placed a hand on his forehead.

''What is it?'' he asked, sounding irritated. I hurried to his bed and crawled in, leaning my head against his chest. Tears fell from my eyes.

''I had a nightmare, Assef. I want to stay with you tonight.'' The words came out little more than a whisper.

''No, Saria." I tensed up. No? Assef had never denied me the comfort I needed. Why was he doing so now? "Go back to bed." He turned his back to me.

''I want to stay with you tonight. Please, Assef. I'm really scared. Aarash was there. He killed you. He slit your throat and I had to watch you die,'' I whispered in his ear, wrapping my arm around his torso and holding tight. The tears would not stop.

Assef shifted, almost causing me to lose balance. He grumbled something under his breath - a profanity no doubt - and swung himself out of bed. ''Well, as you can see, Saria, I'm not dead,'' he explained, holding his arms out at his sides. ''Now. Back to bed. Come on.'' He grabbed me and picked me up. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he carried me back to my room.

He tucked me back into bed. I was shaking and crying in terror. ''I don't want you coming into my room anymore. Understood? Now, good night, Saria.'' With that, Assef left the room. I lay back and sobbed. This time from the hurt of knowing my big brother didn't want to comfort me after the terrifying nightmare I had just experienced.

All I fucking wanted was to go back and have Assef hold me. To have him cradle me and tell me everything would be alright. I was still pretty damn shaken up from that nightmare. I mean, wouldn't you be? I curled up into the feral position and sobbed for what seemed like hours on end. These tears were for having just been rejected by my brother.

I felt so hollow and lost. So upset. I must have cried myself to sleep. The sunlight came streaming in the window, rousing me from my short slumber. My head was pounding, more than likely from all the crying I had been doing. My pillow was soaked in my tears, as was my nightgown. The clock ticked periodically behind me. The noise was very fucking annoying. I wanted to smash the fucking thing onto the ground. I had to steel myself to stop this happening. The thoughts were racing non-stop in my head. It seemed I could get no respite. There was always some fucking worry going through my head. I listened to the sound of the front door opening.

About a fortnight ago, Mama had taken a job as a waitress in one of the local restaraunts. Just to give her something to do. A sense of purpose, she called it. I listened to the sound of the car engine revving up as she and Papa drove away. Good then. School was out for the day due to some meeting or shit like that. Not that I was complaining at all. I would welcome being away from those cunts of girls. At least now I had more time to plot my revenge on Adia. She needed to be made aware of how much she had hurt me. How much pain her best friend had gone through at her hands. I knew I could get away with anything if I were careful.

Faraya and Javid would never suspect me of hurting their daughter. To them I was the sweetest little girl in the world. I wondered if they would even consider me to be sweeter than their own daughter. The rain from last night had since eased off. Now I could see feel the sunlight streaming in the window. The weather changed as frequently as my moods. The heat was making this blanket very fucking uncomfortable. I had to get up and dressed before I fucking melted from this heat.

I got out of the bed and padded in bare feet over to the wardrobe. The fluffy white carpet tickled between my toes. I opened the wardrobe door and tried to think of the best dress to wear today. Something told me I would look like a fool no matter what I wore. What could I do about it though? I just had to deal with what I had. There were so many dresses for me to choose from. I decided that I would wear the only lavender dress I owned. It had short sleeves, a large collar and reached just above my knees. I didn't bother with tights and just put on a pair of socks with lace at the tops. My hair looked like a rats nest and it took me a good fifteen or twenty minutes or so to brush the tangles out.

It was as curly as ever. I picked up two light blue ribbons and fastened them in either side. Fuck it, I must have been a sight. It was all part of the ploy to seem as innocent as possible. I put on a pair of black shoes with bows tied at the front and did up the buckles. There was a large floor length mirror near my wardrobe. I stepped over and looked into it. Every time I saw myself in the mirror, I was taken aback by just how young I looked. If somebody saw me now there was no doubt in my mind that they would think I was only eight or nine years old. Perhaps ten at best.

I knew that I would look like this for years to come. I was going to be a very late bloomer it seemed. ''You're a very pretty little girl,'' I said to the girl in the mirror. The skirt of my dress swished as I moved from side to side. The broad smile on my face was a total contrast to the way I was feeling inside. Ever since I had returned from hospital, Assef had been almost hostile towards me. He would avoid me and didn't seem to want to talk to me. He was now spending more and more time alone. There was no reason for him to do this. I would think that after such a traumatic experience he would want to spend more time with me, not less.

I couldn't help but feel bitterly rejected. Still, I couldn't stay angry with him too long. He was my brother. I couldn't ever be mad at him for long. Still, I couldn't help but wonder why Assef was avoiding me. It really hurt that he wouldn't even bother to comfort me last night. I've always said that my brother is the one person I have ever loved. Anyway, I shouldn't be too worried about it in any case. Everything would fall into place. Everything would be fine. That is what I believed.

I looked at myself again in the mirror. I fixed my lopsided hair ribbons and re-tied the bow on the back of my dress. I made sure to keep a smile on my face. They say smiling makes a person feel good. I hoped that this would be the case for me. I certainly didn't feel good right now. Still, I didn't want to let anything get me down. I wanted to look on the bright side of life. Yet doing so just wasn't in my nature. My thoughts were always drifting into the negative but I was determined this wouldn't fucking happen again!

I had to remain positive. Assef was my brother and nothing could tear up such a strong relationship. I put on a light overshirt and buttoned it at the top. Now it was about half past nine or so in the morning. It was time for me to go downstairs. I left the room and closed the door behind me. That was just how I liked it. Keeping my private secrets locked within. I took a deep breath as I made my way to the stairs. At least with my parents out of the house I didn't have to worry myself with skipping around or trying to play innocent.

At least not in the house. I just walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. I spotted Hamilra pouring out two hot bowls of porridge. She didn't even dare to look in my eyes. She knew who was in control of her. ''Good morning, khanom. You look beautiful today. I've made some porridge for you. Please sit down and eat.''

''Where is my brother?'' I asked bluntly.

''Um, he's still upstairs I think. I will fetch him for you, shall I?''

I shook my head. ''No. I'm sure he'll come down when he's ready. Leave Assef alone and me too,'' I ordered Hamilra. She obediently took her leave like the little dog that she is. I picked up the spoon and began playing with my food. I watched Hamilra leave. She was a constant thorn in my side. I wanted nothing more than to cut her open and watch her bleed from the inside out. If only. All just a fantasy that I had to contend myself with. Perhaps one day I would kill her. The thought gave me so much joy in my heart. I wanted to hurt her so bad. I thought of smashing her skull in with a blunt object or something.

To rip her apart and gouge out her eyes. What wonderful fantasies! I played absent-mindedly with the bowl of porridge. I wouldn't bother with eating breakfast today. As I said before I really couldn't stand eating anything that Hamilra made for me. Mama was a much better cook than her but I doubt that this even needs to be said again. The Hazara bitch couldn't even boil water. I picked up the bowl and poured the disgusting concoction into the bin. After about five or so minutes had passed, Assef came into the kitchen. He didn't even bother to greet me as he picked up his own bowl of steaming hot porridge.

''Hamilra made that,'' I said by way of making conversation. ''I threw mine in the bin where it belongs,'' I added cheerfully. Assef grunted and averted my gaze. I smiled at him. ''Are you going to throw yours away too?'' I asked.

''Sure. Sure. Whatever,'' he replied flippantly. He dumped his own breakfast into the bin along with mine. ''There, Saria.'' That was another thing that bugged me. Assef hadn't called me ''kiddo'' in weeks. Not since the incident. I missed my special nickname. It hurt my feelings that he wouldn't call me that anymore.

Assef completely ignored me as he made his way into the living room. I decided that I would follow him in there. Nobody had the right to ignore me. Not even my own brother. Especially not my own brother. I took my seat next to Assef on the couch. He didn't even bother to acknowledge me. As to why this was I had no idea.

I had to be the one to break the ice it seemed. ''Um, uh, how's about you and I go take a just because?'' I asked. How I hated the awkwardness in my voice. Assef continued to stare blankly ahead. I moved over to sit directly beside him. I placed my head on his shoulder and gripped his arm in both of my tiny little hands. He didn't even acknowledge this. It was as if I was simply invisible to him now.

''Would you like to go on a just because?'' I asked again. Still I received no reply. I shook my brother's shoulder insistently. ''Assef, Assef, I'm talking to you. Assef!'' I exclaimed. He finally turned his head to face me, acknowledging that I was in the room.

''What is it, Saria?'' he asked in a bored tone of voice.

''I was just wondering if you wanted to go on another just because today? We can go to the alley way if you'd like to?'' I asked.

Assef shook his head. ''No.''

I was disappointed by his answer. ''Really? Are you sure? We haven't gone on one since Ara. Don't you think we should?'' I asked, my eyes wide and pleading. Assef shook his head again. He was looking ahead of him at the fireplace again. You could just feel the tension between us. ''Are you sure?'' I asked again. ''You and I, we really need to spend more time with each other, don't you think?''

Assef shrugged. ''If I'm being honest with you, Saria, I'd much rather spend time on my own. It's of no offense to you,'' he explained, trying to reason with me, but of course, I _was_ getting quite offended. How dare he ignore me when all I wanted to do was spend time with him? Who the fuck did he think he was?

I honestly felt guilty for these emotions. This was Assef I was talking about. It wasn't right for me to feel such animosity towards him. Not to someone I loved and cared for so deeply. ''Do you want to do something else today then?'' I pressed on. ''Like, maybe a game of volley ball or something?''

Assef's fists clenched and unclenched. He continued to completely blank me. It was if I simply no longer existed to him. ''Do you want to do something today? We have the full day to ourselves after all. It would be nice to spend time with you,'' I explained. I gave Assef a big grin as I said this.

''No, Saria. I don't want to spend time with you. I want to be alone today. Is that so much for me to ask of you, sister? Just to be alone?'' He sounded pissed off now. I lowered my eyes in an attempt to gain his sympathy.

Things were getting heated. Neither Assef nor myself can hold a lid on our tempers for too long. Sooner or later one of us would explode. Still, I would not let him treat me like this. He will not ignore me. Not now, not ever! I was determined of this fact. I would not be treated in such a rude manner. I would no longer allow my brother to treat me in such a way. I knew that I had to remain calm. Assef and I were both old enough to have a civilised conversation without blowing our tops. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

The air was tense between us. I shook my head side to side to clear any negative thoughts. 'You're just talking to him now, Saria. Just talking. This is your brother after all. You can just talk to him,' I thought to myself. I didn't want to lose my temper and say or do something I would later regret. Still I knew deep inside that no matter what Assef said or did I could never harm him in any way. I loved him way too much to allow myself to harm him. He was the only person I felt this way for. Assef folded his arms sternly across his chest.

Both of us were in total silence. Neither wanted to be the first to speak up. I wanted to voice my concerns to my brother. I took a deep breath and decided I would just go for it. ''Assef, I want to spend the day with you. I will not take no for an answer. Who knows how long it will be before we have this type of free time again?''

''Another time,'' he replied.

I shook my head. ''No, not another time. It's always another time with you, brother. Always. And I'm getting really sick of it.'' I had to keep a lid on my temper. Anger was trying to take over my mind and heart. I continued to talk. ''Assef, I want to spend just one day with you. We may not get this chance again for a long time. You know how busy school gets for both of us.''

Assef shook his head. He ran his fingers through his blond hair. ''I told you, Saria, I want to spend time on my own. You and I, we can always spend time together. You're my little shadow,'' he said in a patronising tone of voice. I clenched my fists in anger. I shook with total rage.

My body was experiencing this primal change of emotion. Assef tried to diffuse the situation. ''Saria, you can find something else to do without me. Go upstairs and read a book or something. Go paint or draw. I don't really care what you do so long as I get my time. My time alone. That's my only request from you.'' He tried to reason with me. I was not taking no for an answer however. I knew what I wanted and I intended to get it.

''I thought you wanted to see me happy. For us both to be happy,'' I said.

''Saria, don't you know I would bend over backward to see you happy?'' my brother responded, frustrated.

''Bend over backward? I'm not asking you to do such a thing. I'm asking the simple request of you spending time with me. Just to find some victim to torment and to be who we are. Brother and sister.'' I trembled all over.

''Then let's do it some other time. You say you want us both to be happy? So why won't you adhere to my request, my sister? Why can't I have my time and you have yours? It's not good for us to be joined at the hip all the time.'' He tried to reason with me. Now I was getting pissed. I could feel the negativity overcoming me. That feeling of unbridled rage coursing through my very soul.

It was an unpleasant feeling to say the least. I stood up and pointed towards my chest. ''I'm being unreasonable here, Assef. I'm not asking for anything. Just to spend the day with you. I love you.'' I was going to play the 'love' card, yes. Assef rolled his eyes. This hurt my feelings. Wouldn't you be annoyed if someone you cared about rolled their eyes when you said you loved them?

''I don't want much. Just this one thing.'' I clasped my hands. ''Pleaseee?'' I asked. My charm didn't seem to work this time though.

''No. For the millionth time, I'll tell you, Saria. No.'' Now I was frustrated. I could no longer control my own actions. I began kicking at the chair in a childish fit of pique.

Assef chastised me. ''Saria! Are you twelve or three? Cop on!'' he exclaimed in a stern tone. I scoffed.

''You can't lecture me on tempers Assef. You have a pretty lethal one yourself. Where do you think I got mine from?'' I asked in retaliation. I could tell that things were escalating at a rapid level.

It seemed Assef and I couldn't have a simple talk without our tempers getting in the way. Still, what would you expect from two sociopaths? Levelheaded people we were not. Assef stood up and faced me head on. He looked at me. ''Saria. Saria, what am I going to do with you? Why can't you just leave me alone?'' I knew him well enough to know he had reached boiling point. Sooner or later I knew he would explode. And I would too.

''Assef, I'm not trying to harp in your ear or anything like that. You know this. I want us to spend at least just a little time together. Can you spare me at least a half hour of your time, my brother?'' I asked. ''Is that so much for me to ask?'' I clenched my fists.

Assef sighed in total frustration. He pinched the bridge of his nose. ''You really don't know when to give up, do you? I don't want to spend time with you. I want to be left alone. Do you understand this?'' he asked patronisingly.

I cocked my head to the side and put my hands on my hips. I raised my eyebrow. I was standing in front of the door, blocking my brother's way out. My back was to the door. Assef and I continued to stare each other down. We were both feeling this primordial feeling of frustration. It coursed through my very bones. ''I want to spend time with you because you're my brother,'' I tried to reason with my brother.

He rolled his eyes at me. ''It's times like this that you really make me wish that I wasn't,'' he said sharply. I felt my whole body tense up. His words were harsh. They cut deep into my soul. Deeper than any other words could ever cut a person. I couldn't even move for a few minutes. I just swayed on my feet like a drunkard. This hurt more than when he had struck me.

This was the honest truth. At least then the pain was physical rather than the deep emotional scar he had now left in my spirit. I wonder if Assef knew that his words had cut so deep. He didn't seem to. I couldn't stand to be in the room with him anymore. I was afraid I would do something I would regret. I exhaled deeply. ''Fine.'' Was all I managed to get out. I fumbled with the doorknob like a fucking idiot. Finally, I managed to get it open. For a brief moment I wondered if Assef was going to come after me. He just stood there, hands on his hips. He didn't even try to apologise for the harsh words he spoke to me just moments ago. I could feel my eyes filling with tears.

Tears that blurred my vision and obscured my path. I opened the door and bolted from the room. I didn't even bother to look back. I just had to get the hell out of there as fast as possible. I bolted for the staircase. I pushed Hamilra out of my way, and didn't even bother to apologise. Not that I would have in any case. I started racing up the stairs as fast as my feet would carry me.

My heart was in my mouth. Tears spilled down my face. I felt absolutely sick to my stomach. No words could adequately describe this pain. Not even the finest ink or parchment could convey my emotions. The pain was intense. I stumbled across the hallway, almost falling over my own feet. I didn't even think I would make it to my room. I just wanted to collapse in a heap in the hallway but I knew it would be better to have my privacy.

Nobody else needed to see the meltdown I was about to have right now. I truly thought I was going to get sick. I had to stop my self from dry-heaving a couple of times. I made it to my room and collapsed against the door. I curled up in the fetal position. My whole body shook as I sobbed. I slammed my fists into the ground. Never before had I experienced such emotional pain.

It hurt worse than anything Aarash could have ever done to me. And that is the honest truth. Assef didn't love me any more. It was all too obvious that he was ashamed of me because of what had happened. I cried like a little baby on the floor. I could hardly see now. My eyes were filled with fresh tears. I honestly just couldn't believe the harsh words that just spewed from my brother's mouth.

Was there any truth in them? Any reason for me to doubt his love? I could hear him pacing back and forth downstairs. No doubt trying to come up with excuses to avoid me even further. If this had been anyone else, I simply would have murdered them and gotten on with life. But this was Assef. The only person that I could ever truly love. Even in his rejection I could never allow myself to seek vengeance or harm on him. To be disowned by the one person I cared for was heartbreaking. It made me feel worthless inside. I placed a hand upon my chest and tried to control my breathing.

I thought I was going to have fucking panic attack or something. Downstairs, Assef still paced loudly in the living room. My sobs would not die down no matter how hard I tried. I was in serious danger of hyperventilating or throwing up. The entire room was spinning before my eyes. I pinched the bridge of my nose and buried my face in my knees. I just sobbed there for what seemed like hours on end. I had to release this pain somehow. I thought of the perfect outlet. Ever since I was a child I had kept a switchblade under my bed. Just in case I would ever need it.

No, I didn't intend on using this on my big brother. I intended on harming myself. I had never self-harmed before but I had never felt pain so strong either. I crawled to the bed and felt around under it. My tiny, nimble fingers held the blade. Yes! I pulled it out and just stared at it for a few moments. It would be a lie to say that I wasn't afraid. Apprehensive at best. I was feeling truly messed up at this moment in time. Truly broken on the inside. I just wanted my outside to reflect my inside. Torn and bleeding. I began to sob afresh. I pressed the blade to my skin on my left arm. I hesitated.

'Just do it, Saria. Just one cut,' I thought to myself. My little fingers shook. I could hear foosteps. I had to do this! I had to go to these extremes to find inner peace.

I pressed the blade to my forearm. Tears saturated my face. My breathing was short and laboured. I was in total apprehension. Part of me was truly scared to go through with this. The complex range emotions were swirling through me like a tornado. Fear, pain, shame, sadness. I had to let them out somehow. Any way. I heard footsteps on the landing and tended up.

'It's probably just Hamilra cleaning again,' I tried to reassure myself. The footsteps got louder as they approached my room. I heard my brother's voice outside the door. ''Saria? Saria, can you open the door for me? I need to talk to you.'' I refused his request. Now I was beginning to regret not locking the door behind me. I held the blade cautiously. Assef knocked again.

''Saria, I need you to open this door for me, okay? Can you do that?'' I didn't answer. ''Saria? Saria?'' Assef called again. I hoped against hope that he wouldn't realise the door was unlocked but my hope was in vain. Assef gently pushed the door of my room open with his shoulder and stepped inside. Now I was totally cornered, like an animal that was about to be tranquillised and sent back to the zoo.

What could I do? I had nowhere to run to. I was caught. Assef's eyes widened in total shock as he stared at the blade in my tiny hand. He covered his mouth with his hand. ''Oh my God.. Oh my God..'' he breathed. He didn't seem to even want to take a step towards me. ''Saria..'' he said.

I backed away from him, clutching the razor tightly, still pressed up against my wrist. I tried to stand up but couldn't seem to hold myself up on my own power. With tears streaming like a faucet down my face, I toppled over and fell flat on my ass. Why the fuck was everything going so wrong in my life? Assef seemed frozen in place like a statue. His clenched fists trembled by his sides as he looked at me with a horrified expression on his face.

'Come on, you stupid bitch, come on, just make one cut,' I told myself, completely ignoring my brother as I pressed the blade onto my skin again. I was having a complete mental breakdown, the likes of which I had never had before in my short, twelve years of my life. 'Stupid, stupid, STUPID GIRL!' I scolded myself.

"Saria?" Assef took a tentative step towards me, reaching his hand out. "Saria, can you please put the razor down? Come on, put the blade down before you hurt yourself." He bent down so that we were on a level and reached out to grip my hand. "Put it down!" he reiterated.

"No, no, Assef! NO!" I screamed, writhing and twisting under my brother's vice-like grip. My lips flecked like a wild animal caught in a trap. I cocked the blade high over my head. I bared my teeth and hissed. Assef continued to struggle with me. My wrist began to ache as his fingers dug into it. I continued to hold the blade like it was a fucking lifeline. "Let go of me, Assef!" I screamed through floods of tears. "You're hurting me! JUST LET GO!"

Of course, my brother was a lot stronger than I. He reached over and squeezed my fingers tightly. "Saria, please! Don't hurt yourself like this. Give me the razor and let's talk," he begged of me. His voice was filled with pain and guilt. Exactly how I felt in this moment. I hated myself for letting him see me this way. He had more important things to worry about than his pathetic, worthless excuse for a sister. My whole body shook as I cried out in shame and humiliation.

"Please, leave me alone, Assef! LEAVE ME ALONE!" I tried to push him away, but, as I wrote before, he was a hell of a lot stronger than I was and managed to hold fast. He squeezed my fingers tightly, causing them to open and the blade to fall out of my hands and land on the floor at my feet. I tried to reach for it again, but Assef was quicker and wrapped both arms around my waist, lifting me off the ground.

He began to drag me backwards towards the bed as I continued to struggle like no tomorrow. "Get off me, God fucking damn it! LET GO! LET ME THE HELL GO!" I truly hated myself for being so cruel to my brother. The only person in the world who could ever have a fucking hope of truly understanding the troubled and broken soul that was Saria Ahmed. I didn't want to be a total bitch to him, but to me, right now, there was no other option.

I felt so broken, so angry, so full of self-loathing. Who did Assef think he was to keep me from expressing my emotions? To want to stop me from feeling? He had no right to do so, after all. I writhed in my brother's strong grasp. "Saria, dear God, stop this! Fucking hell, what the heck is wrong with you?" he asked.

I managed to break away from him and collapsed face-down onto the bed. I gripped the pillow tightly to my chest as I buried my face in the soft, downy fabric. I was completely ignoring Assef, who stood over me, his hand resting on my back. I turned away from him, not wanting to talk or have anything to do with anyone, not even my brother. "Oh God, Saria," Assef muttered brokenly.

He sat down next to me. ''Why, Saria? My God, self harm, what.. Why?'' he stuttered. He was at a loss for words. ''I mean, what?'' Assef sighed. ''Is it because of what Aarash did? Is that it? Sister, please listen to me. I know you're hurting because of what he did. I know you're upset. You can't let him win, Saria. You can't,'' he told me. He shook his head in total shock. ''Self harm.. My little sister,'' he muttered to himself.

I tossed the pillow as side in complete frustration. I honestly didn't know what to say. He just didn't get it! I had to make him understand! ''Assef, you don't get it do you?'' I asked in complete vexation. I struggled to speak. ''I'm not upset because of Aarash. That's not why I tried to cut myself!'' I exclaimed.

''Then.. why?'' my brother asked me.

''You!'' I replied. ''Because of YOU!'' I raised my voice, slamming my open palms against the bed.

Assef gaped at me. ''Me, Saria? Why?'' he asked.

''Because of how you've been acting around me the last few weeks. Ever since we got back from hospital you've been avoiding me like the plague. Is it because you're ashamed of me or something?'' I had to control my emotions. ''Is that it? Because I couldn't fight Aarash off? Do you see me as a coward, my brother?'' I asked.

My voice cracked with sobs. ''No.. I..'' Assef stuttered. He shook his head. ''I'm doing this for you, Saria! To protect you. One day when you're older you'll understand..'' he tried to reason with me.

Assef stood up and began to pace back and forth. I was having none of it. ''Assef, give it a fucking rest!'' I growled in fury. He whirled around to face me. He tugged at his hair.

''If I hadn't been there.. If Aarash hadn't wanted revenge on me.. Then he wouldn't have gone after you and none of this would have happened!''

I shook my head. ''No, Assef. He would have done it anyway. That's just how he is. He had a vendetta against you and I. That is obvious.''

Assef continued to pace. ''Saria, I'm avoiding you to protect you. You don't think it hurts me just as much? I want to make sure that nobody hurts my little sister again. Do you understand this?'' he asked.

I shook my head. ''No, I don't, Assef. How many more times must I tell you that this is not your fault? Aarash did this. It's not your fault at all.'' I buried my face in my palms. I tugged at my hair. Assef just didn't understand how fucking stupid this whole thing was. ''You haven't called me kiddo in weeks! What happened, brother? That's your special nickname for me. I miss it.''

Assef just didn't want to listen. ''I have to do this in order to protect you,'' he tried to explain to me.

I shook my head again, my hair whipping from side to side and hitting me in the face. ''No, Assef! You're hurting me more than you're protecting me!'' I exclaimed to him. ''I want you back. I just want my big brother back!'' I cried desperately.

Assef couldn't even find the words. Neither could I for that matter. He shook his head in disbelief. ''I have to protect my sister..'' he murmured, more to himself than to me. Both of us couldn't see from the others perspective. I guess we were both that fucking stubborn. Assef sat back on the bed.

He struggled to speak. ''I want you to love me the way you did before. I don't want Aarash to come between us any more. I miss you, big brother.'' Assef's eyes flitted to the scar on my nose.

I knew what he was thinking. It irritated me to no end! ''Knowing you don't want to be around me affects me much, much more than anything Aarash could ever do. You wouldn't even comfort me last night after my nightmare. Did you? You saw how scared I was!'' I cried. ''How much I needed you. And you turned me away.''

Were these words striking any chords with my big brother? A downpour had started outside, reflecting the emotions I felt. Fuck this irony! I curled up in a ball and placed my head on my knees. I just sobbed uncontrollably. Assef couldn't do or say anything to comfort me. I was so hurt. ''I miss you. I miss you!'' I sobbed like a baby. I was too stunned to even speak any more. Assef pinched the bridge of his nose. He breathed heavily. Would we ever reconcile? I wanted to know. I just cried on the bed. I couldn't stop the tears. 'I can't lose control! NO!' I thought to myself in total and utter desperation.

Now more than ever I think I needed that blade. If only I could take it from my brother's pocket. My dress was wet from the tears that had fallen from my blue eyes. I just couldn't stop. Assef looked at me. His eyes never left my shaking and sobbing form for a second. I was so ashamed of myself for having broken down in this way. I wanted to be strong for my brother and not show any emotion.

Still, I knew that it couldn't be helped! I was so hurt and humiliated. I felt sick with the emotional pain. I wanted my brother back. They say the worst way to miss someone is to have them right there in the room with you but know they're as far away emotionally as they would be if they were in another country. This rang true for me today. I was hesitant to even hug my brother! Assef placed his hands on my knees. He hesitated. Was he ashamed to touch me or something? I pushed away from him. I hated the hurt look in his eyes. My brother, my everything, my best friend. The only person I loved in this world. Assef exhaled sharply.

''Saria,'' he managed to speak up. ''Please sit up and look at me.'' I hesitantly lifted myself up off the bed and looked at my brother. We stared into each other's tear filled eyes. I felt such shame for my reactions. Assef reached out and cupped my face with his palm. He wiped the ever flowing tears from my eyes. The pain was great. Assef finally hit the nail on the head.

His next words proved it. ''I really hurt you, didn't I?'' he asked in a hushed whisper. He sounded so full of self-hatred. I nodded. ''Come here, kiddo.'' All it took was that one word. That one special word to make me break down in fresh sobs. I extended my arms to my brother, too stunned to even move or speak. Assef pulled me into his arms and lifted my shaking form onto his lap. He buried his face in my hair. ''Saria...'' he said. The severity of the situation finally hitting home for both of us. ''It's okay, kiddo, it's okay. Shh now, I'm here. Please don't cry anymore.''

He held me like one would a toddler. ''I'm sorry, Saria. You were right, I shouldn't have acted the way I did. You should have had me there. I should have been there for you, especially now. I'm sorry." He kissed me on the forehead.

I just sobbed against his chest. ''I can't believe it.. I made my baby sister want to self harm.. I don't...'' he said to himself, ignorant of my presence. ''Oh God..'' He couldn't believe it. He inhaled and exhaled sharply. ''My sister..'' he breathed again. Both of us held each other. It was as if no one else in the world existed any more. Nobody but my brother and I.

Assef ran his fingers through my hair in an attempt to calm me down. His touch was welcoming after such a long time. I melted into his arms. ''It's okay, Saria,'' he reassured me. I pulled back from him and cocked my head to the side.

''Does this mean you don't wish you weren't my brother?'' I asked. I wasn't trying to be a smart ass. I honestly had to know. Assef seemed to register the effect those words had on me. He saw the hurt in my blue eyes.

''Of course not,'' he breathed. His voice dripping with self-loathing. He pulled me into his arms once more. ''You're my little sister. I love you, and I always will,'' he said. Assef cradled me, rocking me back and forth in his arms. He rubbed circles into my back. ''Your big brother's an idiot, Saria. I'm so, SO sorry, kiddo. Think you'll be able to forgive me?'' he asked pleadingly.

I gulped. ''Always, and you're not an idiot, Assef. I love you.'' Assef pulled back from me. I knew we were about to have a serious talk.

''Kiddo, I don't ever want to see you do anything like this again. You have a problem than you tell me. I don't care how small you may think it is. Or what it is. You talk to me about it. About anything,'' he said with strong conviction. He gripped my hands in his. ''I never want to see my baby sister even think about hurting herself again. Never again.''

''Okay,'' was my response to this. I was glad I had someone on whom I could always count. Someone who would always love and be there for me.

''Kiddo, I promise you the people responsible for this are going to pay. Every last one of them,'' he told me. ''You have my word as your brother.'' My sobs began to die down. The image of this revenge was satisfying. My eyes grew heavy and listless. All this emotion had worn me out. I sat there on my brother's lap, content with just staying in the moment. And they say that sociopaths can't love.


	27. My Blackened Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Assef made a mistake that almost cost him his relationship with Saria. They soon reconciled however and now we find that Assef has plans to punish Wali and Kamal for their betrayal...

Sunlight streamed in the window. The morning was just about to begin. What would it have in store today? It was a bright and early Sunday morning and once again I obviously had no school. Not that I was complaining about this. I had to regroup and recharge. Luckily for me, Ahtrai had been away the past week with the flu. Her little bitch friends weren't so brave without their leader around. It seemed she was the instigator of most of the teasing and shit that happened to me in school. Still, I was grateful that I had been spared that for at least a little while. I knew it wouldn't last long though. I knew that eventually Ahtrai and I would come to blows once more. That girl had better watch her boundaries.

There would come a time when I would just snap. Then the consequences of her actions would come back to bite her on the ass. There would come a time when Ahtrai would just push me too far and I would have to deal with her accordingly. There was a very strong possibility that she would meet the same tragic fate as little Zainab. My mental state is out of my control at times. Sometimes I just snap and lose it. Ahtrai had better hope that I never lose control with her. Still, what were the chances? It would be satisfying to cut her throat and watch her choke on her own blood. To gouge out her eyes and force them down her throat.

To do to her what I had done to Zainab only much, _much_ worse! Ever since the incident with Aarash, my violent side had gotten worse. I was becoming more imaginative in my ideas of torturing people. I guess perhaps such a traumatic event just had that effect on me. Ahtrai better hope someone else gets to her before I do, or that her parents decide to move back to the Karteh-Char district.

At least then she might be spared my wrath. It must have been around half ten or eleven in the morning. I woke up at the crack of dawn this morning and hadn't been able to sleep since. Just a lot on my mind I guess. I lay underneath the warm blanket. The scratchy material tickled under my chin. My window was wide open. I could hear the sounds of my neighbours going about their daily business. They were very fucking loud. Especially the family who lived directly across the road. The one with the little baby. He was always making fucking noise, especially in the middle of the night! I seriously wanted to go over there and smash his head against the wall.

The fact that this was only just an innocent baby didn't matter to me. He shouldn't be waking me up. And I wonder why I was so upset about not being able to have children. Do you think that I would have been able to handle a screaming newborn baby? Perhaps it was for the best that Aarash had damaged my Fallopian tubes.

The fucking baby continued to scream. 'Shut up! SHUT UP!'' I thought to myself. I slammed my fists against the pillow in frustration. I could hear his mother pacing up and down trying to soothe her son. From what I gathered, the little boy must have been about three or four months old. So young and innocent.

Still, that didn't matter to me. I still had thoughts of violently beating or choking the baby. His screaming was getting to be _so_ irritating! Now I supposed I'd better get up. I ran my fingers over my scalp and yawned. My back arched like a cats. I stretched. ''Fuck it,'' I muttered. I had to get up. I would only drive myself insane lying here listening to the fucking brat crying.

I swung my legs around and placed my feet on the soft carpet. I exhaled in satisfaction as I felt the soft, fluffy fabric between my toes. I padded over to the window and looked out. There was a slight overcast today and a few clouds in the sky. Still, the sun was still shining. It was about early October. Only a month left in school before the Winter holidays again.

I couldn't fucking wait! What would my brother and I be doing on the next Kite Fighting tournament? Would it be as amazing as Hassan's rape? I honestly didn't feel that anything could top that! Sometimes I did wonder where Hassan was right now. Did he ever think about us? He was probably rotting in Hazarajat now where he belonged! I could care less what happened to him as long as he was out of our way. Personally I felt quite proud of myself and my brother. This was the first Hazara we had driven out of Kabul. 'May there be many more to follow,' I thought to myself. I slammed the window shut. 'Many, many more.'

There was no point in me bothering to get dressed just yet. Not with Mama out of the house. Apparently in her mind it was rude to walk around the house in pajamas. Well, excuse me, but we weren't a fucking _hotel_ , were we? Sometimes that bitch of a woman really irritated me! I was glad that I wouldn't have to deal with her today. I took out my large, fluffy pink dressing gown and wrapped it around myself. It was about three sizes too big for me, and absolutely dwarfed me.

It was actually a birthday present from Fahrsan about two years before he died. I put on a pair of matching slippers and went downstairs to see my brother already dressed and waiting in the kitchen. He gave me a warm and inviting smile. ''Good morning, kiddo,'' he said. He embraced me tightly and ruffled my hair. Ever since our reconciliation we had become closer than ever. I pulled back and gave him a warm smile. He was dressed in jeans and t-shirt with the same black trainers he had worn during Hassan's rape.

I noticed he had his school bag on the table beside him. This confused me, especially because it was Sunday. I cocked my head to the side and placed my hands on my hips. I tried to grab at the bag to unzip it and see for myself just what was inside. ''There's no school today, Assef. What's with the bag?'' I asked. He grabbed the bag from me and held it high over his head. I giggled as I bounced up and down trying to retrieve it. ''Assef!'' I laughed.

He shook his head as he refused to put the bag down. I could hear something clinking inside it. Now I was curious. I grabbed my brother's wrist. ''Give it to me!'' I begged in my sweetest voice. ''Please, pretty please?'' I said, trying to be as innocent as possible.

Assef just laughed and kept me at bay with one hand. ''You know that cute act doesn't work on me, kiddo,'' he said.

''Can't blame a girl for trying,'' I quipped back. I was full of apprehension. My brother placed his rucksack high on the shelf. Somewhere where someone of my short stature wouldn't be able to reach it.

I bit down on my lip. My brother was being _very_ secretive. I wondered why. Assef placed a hand over his mouth and laughed to himself. He was in a very good mood today. His behaviour puzzled me. ''What's so funny, Assef?'' I asked him. He composed himself after a few minutes.

''Oh nothing. Nothing at all.'' He was adamant.

''People usually don't laugh at nothing, Assef. What's funny?'' I asked again. My curiously was peaked. Assef shook his head from side to side. He tapped his nose with his finger secretively. He was heightening my curiosity with every moment. ''Assef?''

''Well, let's just say I have a big surprise for you today, kiddo,'' he grinned at me. I tried to coax an answer from my brother.

''And, what would that be?'' I asked, arms folded over my chest. Assef raised his eyebrows.

''What kind of surprise would it be if I told you?'' he asked me. I shrugged. I felt a little apprehensive after what had happened on the last 'surprise.' Still, this wasn't out of distrust for my dear brother. I trusted Assef with my life. He would _never_ intentionally do anything to harm me. He bent down to me and gripped my shoulders.

''Now, sweetheart, I know this will make you happy. Not like... well, the last time. I know because I organised this myself.'' He said. He was keeping something big over my head.

''What is it? Tell me!'' I asked. Assef reached out and tickled my stomach. I giggled with delight, doubling over.

I pushed my brother away. ''Stop it!'' I laughed, punching him playfully on the arm.

''Well then, you stop asking questions,'' he ordered mock-sternly.

''Oh, so you're going to just leave your little sister in the lurch are you?'' I teased.

Assef put an arm around me and ruffled my hair. ''Now, you go up and get dressed and remember to wrap up warm. Don't want you to catch a cold,'' he told me. I nodded. Assef pulled away from me. ''Please fetch your switchblade as well, kiddo. I have a feeling we're going to need it,'' he informed me.

Now I was getting really excited. I was almost bouncing off the walls. Switchblades equalled pain. Pain for someone else. I nodded my head frantically, a huge smile on my face. ''Go on then, kiddo,'' Assef said.

''Okay,'' I responded. I turned and ran up the staircase. I honestly was on tenterhooks. I had to know what the surprise was. What was it that my brother was keeping from me?

I bounded up two steps at a time. My thoughts were ever racing. The door to my room swung open easily on the hinges. I'm a generally tidy person and liked to keep everything in order. That way I didn't have to worry about anyone snooping around trying to tidy up my room. There were secrets in here that would be detrimental to me if anyone ever found them.

I took off my dressing gown and slippers and replaced them back in the wardrobe. I wondered what kind of dress I could choose. Whatever I chose I knew it would look hideous. Still in all, I had to keep up the innocent facade. No matter how hideous the clothing. My closet was full. 'Now what do I wear?' I asked myself. There was a light blue dress with pleated skirt that Papa bought for me last month that I had yet to wear. I decided to wear that. It had to be one of the most disgusting things in the world. My parents treated me like such a baby! I swear, if they could they would have me in diapers!

Still drinking out of bottles and sucking on pacifiers. I rolled my eyes at the thought of it. 'Fucking cunts' I thought to myself. Now I was standing just in my underwear in front of the mirror. God I was so fucking tiny. ''Do I ever fucking grow?'' I asked myself. I pulled the dress on over my head. It was long and just reached above my knees. There was a large bow at the front.

How perfectly hideous I looked. How sickeningly sweet. I had to stop myself drifting into the negative. I wanted to find out what the surprise was. I _had_ to find out what the surprise was. I was apprehensive. I pulled on my tights and shoes. I left the room, after neatly folding my pyjamas and placing them under my pillow. The door was once again securely locked behind me. All my dirty little secrets kept safe within. I skipped out into the landing, my thoughts always on the surprise Assef had waiting. I held the switch blade in my hand.

Assef sat waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. He turned around in anticipation when he saw me approaching. He had a warm smile on his face. ''How about it, kiddo? Are you ready to go?'' he asked. I bent my knees in obvious excitement. ''Do you have the blade for me?'' Assef asked.

I nodded. ''Sure do.'' I extended the blade to my brother. He took it from me and pocketed it. We no longer spoke of the time I tried to use it on myself. Both of us knew it would do no good to reopen those old wounds so to speak. I knew who I could turn to when I had a problem. Any problem.

Assef knew he could count on me too. We were just that close. Assef extended his hand to me and stood up. I placed my tiny hand in his and exhaled deeply. I looked up at him in curiosity. I didn't much care for being kept in the dark. ''Okay then. All set?'' He had the bag on his shoulder. It clinked again when he stood up. Now I really needed to know what was inside. I had to _know._

The suspense was killing me. Assef was kind enough to open the front door for me as we left the house. I was in total suspense. Who wouldn't be? My brother locked the door behind us. The conversation turned serious for a moment. ''Kiddo, I know things have been tough for you lately. After everything that happened. Believe me, nobody is sorrier than I that all this had to happen to you.''

''I know, Assef,'' I responded. My eyes were downcast. Thinking this way was seriously depressing me. ''And that's why I'm glad I know I have a big brother like you to take care of me,'' I said. My words were the honest to God truth. I smiled at my brother.

''That's a very kind thing for you to say, kiddo,'' he replied, returning the gesture. Looking at us now, who would ever suspect either of us of being dangerous, murdering sociopaths? I chuckled to myself at the thought. I held tightly to my brother's hand as we made our way down the driveway. I noticed the tyre tracks made by our car.

''You should have heard Father trying to reverse this morning,'' Assef told me. ''Took him about five times to do it. Fucking dumbass cunt! Woke me up at seven am!'' he exclaimed. I rolled my eyes at this statement.

''You would think that he'd be a better driver by now,'' I said.

''Or at least that he'd know how to reverse out of his _own_ driveway!'' Assef teased back. We both shared a laugh at our father's stupidity. Assef closed the gate behind him as we made our way down the road.

''Now you _have_ to tell me what this surprise is!'' I giggled. Assef shook his head. ''Nope. Not telling you.''

I pouted. ''Aww, please, please tell me!'' I begged. I was a ball of energy.

''I wish I could, Sar, but that would ruin the surprise. And I would hate to do that,'' he explained to me. We continued to walk down the road hand in hand. Whatever the fuck was in Assef's bag kept on clinking.

Perhaps it was glass or something. I wondered. It was a warm Autumn's day with the sun beating down on us from high overhead. My feet started to sweat in my black shoes. Maybe wearing tights wasn't such a good idea. I noticed people watching us passing by. They smiled at me as they went about their daily business. I knew I must have looked adorably and sickeningly sweet.

If only they had insight into the dark thoughts of my mind. What would they think then? Surely they would run screaming for the heavens! The dust from the ground covered the tops of my feet. I glanced at the trees, all barren of their leaves. Children played and frolicked up ahead. My brother continued to hold my hand tightly in his. I was in complete suspense.

He was keeping something huge over my head. What could it be? We passed by the cafe where we often went for something to eat after a just because. The place where I first seen Aarash. No. I wouldn't think about him now. I wouldn't ruin a good day with negative thoughts. I had to focus on the positives in my life. ''I suppose you're never going to tell me what this surprise is!'' I lamented.

Assef shook his head. ''You hit the nail on the head right there. I don't want to ruin this for you. Still, all in all, sister, I worked so hard to make this happen for you. I just know it's going to put a smile on your face,'' he told me. He had me hanging on his every word. We had walked for about fifteen or twenty minutes. Now I really needed to know where we were going.

I just couldn't wait to find out. There was a beautiful little creek just a few yards up from where we stood. The water flowed over the tiny pebbles and rocks. I spotted two figures sitting up ahead. Assef placed a finger to his lips. ''Shush now, kiddo,'' he hushed me. We walked ever closer to the two figures. No! No way! There had to be some sort of mistake.

My eyes widened in total shock. Sitting just a few mere yards away from us were Wali and Kamal. The two cunts who had played such an active role in my torment. They sat skipping rocks by the creek. Not all that different than you would expect from two teenage boys. Assef nudged me. ''Let's go and say hi,'' he suggested. I nodded my head frantically. I could tell where this was going. We slowly approached the boys who had betrayed us both. Neither of them had any clue we were even there. Stealthiness is one of our gifts after all.

I waited with baited breath as Assef snuck up behind the two of them. Neither of them noticed that he was there. He stuck his head in between their shoulders. ''Think I could throw the next rock farther than you?'' he asked. He placed a hand on each of their shoulders. Both boys whipped around as though startled by a loud noise. I now stood directly behind them.

Kamal nearly overbalanced as he cowered away from his worst nightmares come true. Wali shook his head from side to side in total disbelief. He was too scared to even blink as Assef stared at him, a wicked grin on his face. ''A... I.. A..'' he stuttered. He was too scared to even utter my brother's name. Kamal lowered his eyes and trembled in sheer horror. He backed away from my brother's touch.

He whimpered like a frightened little dog. ''Why yes, my friends. It's Assef. Assef and Saria,'' he gestured to me. I smiled and waved maliciously at the two terrified youngsters.

''No, it's not you! Not you!'' Wali exclaimed in fear, trembling. Assef smiled and cupped the younger boy's chin with his hand. Now the backstabbing cunt was truly trapped. He couldn't even get up to run away. We had them both surrounded like wild animals circling their prey. Kamal's terrified eyes flickered from me to my brother. He began to gasp in short breaths.

''Why do you look so scared, Kamal?'' I asked innocently. ''Is there something wrong with good friends just chatting to one another?'' I pondered.

''How.. How did you even f-find us?'' Wali managed to get out. Assef smiled. ''Oh, you know, I rang your mother and asked her where her son was. It didn't take a genius to know Kamal here would be with you,'' he explained. ''Now, I think the four of us should take a little walk. Don't you?''

Wali and Kamal both shook their heads in unison. Their fear of Assef and I was evident in their eyes. Assef cocked his head to the side. He reached into the front pocket of his jeans. He materialised the switchblade he had made me fetch for him upstairs earlier. Kamal gulped in terror as my brother held the blade to his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut.

Personally, I truly didn't care for this little weasel any more. He had betrayed me and now he was going to get exactly what he deserved. I could only wonder what my dear brother had in store. Assef gently traced the blade along both of their exposed necks. ''Now, I'm going to ask you one more time, Wali, Kamal. Will you come with us?'' It was not a request, it was an order and I think they knew this too. Slowly, ever so slowly, they got to their feet.

I noticed Wali's eyes drawn to my brother's school bag. Assef chortled. ''Oh, I see you must be wondering why I've got my book bag with me when it's a Sunday afternoon?'' He asked. ''Saria here asked the same question, didn't ya, kiddo?'' I nodded in answer. My brother smiled with sadistic intent.

''Well, I can only say we're all going to have lots of fun with what we have inside. I have something very special planned for us today.'' He explained. I walked side by side along with my brother and his friends as we meandered down the dusty road. Assef kept the blade close at hand. Not that he needed it.

Both Wali and Kamal were too scared to do anything but follow us like obedient puppies. ''Where are we going now, Assef? Or is that a surprise as well?'' I asked. My brother tapped his nose in reply.

''Somewhere very special to all of us,'' was his only answer. We continued our walking in total silence. I knew that Wali and Kamal were both apprehensive as to what my brother had in store for them. The day was getting off to a great start for us at least. We continued to walk. Assef didn't even say a word to me or them as he led us all this way and that.

Where was it we were going? My curiosity was getting the better of me. I'm not that patient of a person and needed to know these things. Wherever this place was it seemed to be taking an eternity to get there. Wali walked at my side, his eyes lowered in complete fear. I really didn't care less what he thought of me. He was about to get his very, _very_ soon!

As was my dear Kamal. I thought about how much I had given that boy. How much I had cared for and wanted him. Still, I guess that's just the way that life goes sometimes. Sometimes that's how it had to be. Both boys were way too fucking scared to even think of doing anything. Their worst nightmares were about to come true.

''Cover your eyes, kiddo,'' Assef ordered me.

I looked up at him. ''Oh, so are we nearly there?'' I asked. He nodded, placing a gentle, guiding hand on my shoulder.

''Now, close your eyes and no peeking.'' I quickly obeyed him. My heart was in my mouth. Assef guided me along, his hand resting on my shoulder. We crossed over a barren strip of land. I could feel the dust under my feet. We started to make our way down a narrow road. I was on tentherhooks. I had to know where we were going. Assef gently placed my tiny hand on a smooth surface. I felt that I was touching a wall. Beside me, I felt Wali and Kamal shudder and gasp in horror. Assef bent over to whisper in my ear. ''Now you can open those eyes, my sister.'' I did so. Only to be met by a glorious sight.

We stood in the alleyway where Assef had raped Hassan. My favourite place in this Earth! I let out a little gasp of total delight as I spun around in excitement. My brother laughed at my enthusiasm. He was as joyful as I was. I started to bounce up and down, squealing in total excitement.

I bit my lip in total anticipation that things were about to go down. I ran my hands along the wall and bent down to touch the ground. My brother really knew how to surprise me! I covered my mouth in total shock and amazement. There were literally no words to describe how joyous and delighted I was. I spun around in circles until I was dizzy, my eyes lighting up with pure unbridled joy.

Assef chortled at my mannerisms. ''What did I tell you, kiddo? Didn't I tell you this would be a nice surprise?'' he asked. I could barely string a sentence together. That's how utterly amazed I was. Beside me, Wali and Kamal weren't having the same reaction. Together, they both stepped tentatively into the alleyway, their eyes flickering this way and that.

They shuddered in total fear. Assef smirked at me. Now I knew what he had in store. Revenge for the cruel treatment of his precious baby sister. ''Come on, boys.'' My brother beckoned. He gestured with his finger to Wali and Kamal. They hesitated for a few moments. Assef glowered at them. He sighed deeply. ''I'm _not_ going to ask you AGAIN!'' he exclaimed in frustration. My brother's temper was a ticking time bomb. When he was angry, he was _angry!_

He caught them both by the arms and frogmarched them right down the back of the alley. Somewhere where nobody could ever see or notice us. I bit my lip in excitement. I honestly felt happier than ever. Wali and Kamal trembled in fear as my brother pushed them both against the wall. He clenched his fists in fury. Now both of them were totally trapped. If they even attempted to escape, they would run straight into us.

I bit my lip and giggled, looking into their fear filled eyes. They were truly trapped. Like animals in the zoo. Caged by their own fear and terror. Wali whimpered as he closed his eyes. He couldn't even look at us. My heart soared. Assef paced up and down in front of his friends, his arms clasped behind his back like a security guard. He radiated power and authority.

''Isn't this nice, now? Taking a trip down memory lane,'' he said. He walked briskly in circles around them. ''Tell me boys, wasn't I a good friend to you? Didn't I try to help you both out in any way I could?'' Assef asked. He cocked his head to the side. ''Remember when those other boys would mock you, Kamal, when they would tease and hurt you? And who stopped it? HUH?'' he exclaimed, his eyes narrowing. Kamal shuddered in utter terror.

''You... It was you, Assef.''

Assef continued to pace. ''That's right. Clever boy.'' He said in the same patronising manner one uses when talking to a dog or other pet. ''What about you, Wali? Do you think I was a good friend?'' He asked. Wali lowered his eyes as he shifted his feet from side to side.

''Uh, I... Well, um, you.. I...'' Assef folded his arms across his chest. ''You, uh, yes. You were,'' Wali finally managed to get out.

He knew his life depended on this answer. Assef smirked. ''You see, boys, this is what I'm trying to understand. From what I can gather, friends don't hurt other friends. Do they?'' He asked in faux confusion.

''But we didn't hurt you!'' Kamal blurted.

Assef's eyes narrowed into two slits. He gritted his teeth. ''No, but you hurt Saria. And when you hurt my baby sister, you hurt me too.'' He pointed to me and then himself in emphasis. He smiled, a cold, evil grin. I glowered in their directions. Kamal looked at me in fear.

''W-What are you going to do? What do you want from us!'' he asked in trepidation. Assef licked his lips. He had a mischievous look on his face. He placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. He looked at me, and smiled warmly. My brother reached into his front pocket and pulled something out of it.

Whatever it was sparkled in the midday sun. He pushed it into my open palm. ''I think Saria deserves to punish you first, seeing as how she was the one you beat and tormented.'' I looked down at my hand. My face broke out into the widest of smiles. There, sitting in the palm of my hand were my brother's brass knuckles. I slipped them onto my hands.

Wali and Kamal both looked fearfully at each other. I placed my hands on my hips. ''Do you remember watching Aarash use these on me?'' I asked. They both huddled up against the wall. ''Oh, I see it's not so much fun now is it? IS IT?'' I snarled.

''Saria, please don't use those things on us!'' Wali blurted. I smirked; I had found my first victim.

''Well, since you're so eager, Wali...'' I said sarcastically. I revelled in the look of fear in his eyes. Grabbing him by the collar, I swung my fist down and nailed him right in the stomach. WHAM! He wheezed and doubled over. I chortled in delight. I hit him again and again.

Wali slid down against the wall, curled into a terrified ball of fear and pain. Like I gave two shits! I hit him again and again into the stomach and sides. Wali whimpered and shuddered as he felt the full extent of my wrath. I wondered did he feel any remorse now? After beating him for about ten minutes, I focused my intentions on Kamal. A wicked grin on my face. ''Now, don't want you feeling left out, Kamal.'' I said sweetly.

He held his hands up. ''Please, Saria! Didn't I stick up for you when Aarash was about to.. to hurt you!'' he said in his own defense.

I shook my head from side to side. ''That may be, Kamal, but the fact remains that you still hurt me. You still stabbed me, stabbed _us_ , in the back.'' I gestured to my brother. I backed Kamal right into the wall.

He gulped. ''Please, don't hurt me.'' If I had a penny for every time someone said that line to me! I viciously decked him right in the stomach. He buckled from the pain. I hit him again. ''Ah!''

Assef sniggered in unbridled joy at this sight. Their pain was our pleasure. I continued to brutally pummel Kamal, beating every inch of him I could find. I was a lot tougher on him than I was on Wali. Simply because I had had a soft spot for him and this made his betrayal hurt more. Therefore, he deserved more pain. More humiliation. I punched him again.

''Stop, please, stop!'' he grovelled, tears spilling from his eyes. He crumpled into a pathetic ball. He looked up and caught Assef's eye. ''P-please, don't let her hurt me anymore, Assef! PLEASEEE!'' he begged my brother.

Assef shook his head. ''I won't be one to deny my sister the chance to have some fun,'' he said in a mocking voice. I smiled sadistically as I continued to violently pummel the shit out of Kamal. He deserved every bit of it. I could hear Wali groaning in pain a few mere feet away. Good. Music to my ears. The perfect symphony. Assef folded his arms as he watched me beat up his ex friend.

I was letting out all my anger with every punch. I had truly cared for Kamal and he had thrown this love back in my face. Just like Amir. Just like everyone who isn't my brother. I felt I was purging myself of Kamal and the feelings I had for him. Now he would _suffer._ Payback was a bitch, wasn't it? I hit him again and again in quick succession. Assef placed a hand on my shoulder and cleared his throat.

I turned around to face him. ''Saria, I need you to do me a favour. I need you to get me that brick over there.'' I nodded and walked to where the brick haphazardly lay at the end of the alley. I wiped the dust off it and picked it up. I took it back over to my brother. ''Thank you very much, kiddo.'' Assef stroked my head. He bounced the brick up and down in his hand. I looked up at him in confusion.

He stepped over to Kamal. ''Saria, kiddo, what hand did Aarash break?'' he asked.

''Um, uh, the left one,'' I informed him. He nodded, seizing Kamal's left wrist. He placed it down on the ground. Assef looked from the brick, to Kamal's hand, then back again.

''Oh God...'' The dark haired boy shuddered. He shut his eyes. Kamal let out a shriek of pain as my brother slammed the brick down onto his left hand. His eyes rolled back as he gagged. Assef had to have done severe damage. I could even hear the bones crack. He then turned his attention to Wali.

''No, no, Assef, please, no!'' Wali begged. He curled into a ball, clutching his left hand for dear life. Assef loomed over him, an unforgiving look on his face.

''Give me your hand,'' he ordered.

Wali shook his head defiantly. ''No, please..''

''Give me your hand, Wali jan, or would you prefer if I used this on your skull?'' my brother asked. Slowly, ever so slowly, Wali extended his left hand to my brother. Assef took it from him and placed it on the ground. He kept one hand on Wali's wrist to stop him from moving. The other hand swung the brick high up into the air. Wali bit his lip in anticipation. WHAM! The brick hit his hand with a resounding crack.

He let out a gasp of pain. I clapped my hands together gleefully. Assef straightened up and tossed the brick aside. He looked at me. ''Wanna see what I've got in my bag?'' He asked. I nodded frantically. I bent my knees in obvious excitement. Assed picked up his bag and unzipped it.

''Let's see... Let's see,'' he said, rooting around inside. ''Aha! That's what I was looking for.'' He materialised a large glass bottle. The kind the milk man leaves on your doorstep. He held it out to Wali and Kamal. ''Break this for me, please.'' He smiled at them. They looked at each other in confusion. Kamal obediently took the bottle from my brother. ''Now, make sure you really smash it into little pieces.'' Kamal nodded as he threw the glass onto the hard ground.

The noise echoed off the walls of the alley. My brother smiled gleefully. He inspected the glass. ''Wali, will you break some more for me?'' He asked. He took another glass out of his bag. Wali obediently took it from him and smashed it onto the ground. It shattered into a million pieces.

Assef cocked his head to the side, inspecting the glass that surrounded him. Wali and Kamal were backed a few feet away. My brother pointed to the glass. ''Kneel,' he commanded. ''On the glass,'' he added. They shook their heads in unison. Assef looked at them, glowering in fury. ''Don't make me ask you again. Get on your knees. NOW!'' They hesitantly obeyed, lowering themselves onto the ground. Wali was the first to lower himself down. He bit down on his lip in pain. Kamal followed suit. They both knelt upon the broken glass. Both shifted uncomfortably, tears filling their eyes. The glass must have been excruciatingly painful. All their weight was on their knees.

I folded my arms over my chest. Assef came up behind me and stood at my side. He put his arm around mine. I could tell both Wali and Kamal wanted to get up. Fear of my big brother kept them where they were. Fear of him and fear of me too. Wali and Kamal whimpered in pain. I looked down at them. I truly felt like a god, watching these boys kneel at my feet. I smirked, feeling the power coursing through my veins. I was in control of these two older boys.

I commanded them. I _owned_ them. Owned them like a master owns their dog! I felt so smug watching them both grovel before me. Assef turned his nose up at them. I could tell he felt just as in control as I did. I smiled up at my brother and he returned the gesture. Neither of us said a word. We just wanted to revel in the moment.

The glory of it all. I could already see the blood forming on Wali's knees. Kamal groaned with every passing moment. Still, they didn't dare to get up. I felt about ten feet tall. The feeling of joy surged through me. I smirked. ''Oh, if only you had thought about what would happen before you decided to betray us.'' Assef said sarcastically, cocking his head to the side.

Wali looked up at him with tears in his eyes. He shifted slightly, crying with the pain. Beside him, Kamal did likewise. I knew both of them wanted to jump to their feet but didn't dare to do so. I laughed at their pain. It was the funniest thing ever. They deserved this, you see, because of how they treated me. Every action has a consequence and this is theirs. I bet they never thought they'd one day end up kneeling before the very same girl they beat and tormented.

''Please,'' Kamal begged, eyes squeezed shut. He extended his hand to my brother. ''Please, let us up.'' Assef looked at me.

I shook my head and stared at them. ''But I'm enjoying watching you so much,'' I said innocently. ''You don't want to ruin the fun, do you?'' Both of them gulped back a sob as they bent over and sobbed in pain. I could see specks of blood forming on their knees already. I knew that walking would be painful for them for weeks to come. Perhaps they would even get an infection from the broken glass. I could only hope this would be the case. I began to pace around them. I put my tiny hand on both of their shoulders.

''Isn't this fun, boys? Just us friends together?'' I asked in a patronising manner. I shoved Wali forward. He extended his hands and landed right on the glass. He let out a gasp of pain as he cradled both his injured limbs. ''Oh, I'm sorry, Wali. Clumsy me,'' I said in false sympathy. I bent over and lifted his chin to face me. ''Filthy little cunt. You know where you belong,'' I sneered.

He couldn't even look into my eyes: that's how ashamed he was. Kneeling at the feet of a twelve year old little girl. I spat right in his face, much like he has done to me. My lip curled in disdain. Assef began to pace up and down. ''Do you remember the last time we were all here together?'' my brother asked. He ran a hand through his messy blond hair. Wali whimpered and looked up at my brother.

He didn't like where this was going at all. I crossed my arms and smirked. Assef continued to pace. Kamal bit his lip in pain. Neither of them dared to move. Assef placed a hand on Wali's shoulder. ''You remember the last time we were here, Wali jan, don't you?'' Wali couldn't even open his mouth to answer.

He mumbled incoherently. Assef turned back to face me. ''Saria, you remember the last time I brought you here.'' I nodded vigorously, bouncing up and down. I felt like a little kid on the first day of Eid.

''Yes, yes I do.'' Assef was enamoured by my behaviours. He cupped my chin.

''And do you remember what happened? What I did?'' he asked. I nodded vigorously.

''Yes! Yes, Assef! You raped Hassan. That little Hazara cunt,'' I exclaimed with pure joy. Assef placed his hands on my shoulders.

''You really enjoyed that, didn't you?'' He asked. I giggled. Wali shifted slightly. He bowed his head down in total fear and shame. He began to sob uncontrollably. Assef turned to face him. He narrowed his eyes in disgust. ''Kunis,'' he hissed. My brother squatted down in front of me and placed his hands on mine. He gently squeezed my tiny fingers.

''I promised you that one day someone else would get raped. Didn't I?''

''Uh-huh.'' I was so excited, my eyes widening.

''Well today, I intended to make good on that promise, my sister.'' He told me. Wali and Kamal cowered backwards in fear. They both looked at each other wide eyes. Assef tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. Not bothering to look at the frightened little fucks kneeling mere feet away.

''Please... _please_ don't rape us, Assef!'' Wali begged. He clasped his hands in front of him a though in prayer. My brother cocked his head. ''Did I say I was going to rape you?'' he asked. ''Well, did I?'' Wali trembled as my brother cupped his chin and leaned in close to his face.

''No my dear, I don't intended on raping either of you. Wali, it's your turn to have some fun with Kamal,'' he smiled with psychotic intentions. I bit my lip and waited with baited breath. Wali's eyes widened. He shook his head from side to side.

''Oh my God...'' he cried in desperation. ''No, noooo!'' he sobbed.

''What was it you said, Wali jan? That rape was sinful?''

Wali began to sob uncontrollably. He crumpled into a pathetic little ball of shame and sadness. ''No, please, I beg of you. Don't make me do that to him. Please don't.'' He sobbed. Assef's face hardened. With a sadistic smile on his face, my brother reached into his pocket and retrieved the blade again.

He caught Kamal by the hair and forced his head back. He pressed the blade right to Kamal's throat. Kamal shuddered. My brother directed the conversation to Wali. ''You _will_ do as I say. Or would you rather I cut his throat right here and now?'' He threatened ominously.

Slowly, Wali got to his feet. He bowed his head in total shame. I clasped my hands under my chin, anticipating. Kamal began to whimper, his eyes flickering from Wali to Assef. My brother gently ran the blade across his exposed neck. Wali stood, fists clenched at his sides, tears streaming down his face. He didn't want to do this, but what fucking choice did he have? He knew what the consequences would be if he didn't go through with it. Wali looked into Kamal's eyes.

''I'm sorry, Kamal. I'm _sorry_!'' he cried out. I stayed stone faced as I watched the scene unfold before my eyes. Assef placed a hand on Wali's shoulder.

''Tell me, Wali, have you ever dislocated someone's arm or hip before? Hm?'' he asked. Wali shook his head frantically.

''Uh, I.. No,'' he said.

Assef gestured to Kamal. ''Well, today you're going to do just that,'' he said smugly. My brother really did come up with the best ways to torture people. That was one of the things I loved about him. I watched with an avid interest. Wali frantically shook his head, backing away, his hands up in defence.

''No, Assef, no.. Please, you're already making me r-rape him, please I'm begging you don't make me hurt him any more.'' He pleaded with my brother. He was truly terrified and disgusted by us. 'Stupid Wali. You knew what my brother would do to you if you ever hurt me,' I thought to myself. They deserved everything we gave them and then some. Fucking faggots. Assef showed no sympathy as he once again pressed the blade against Kamal's throat. He smirked cruelly.

''Are you disobeying me, Wali? Huh? Are you!'' he hissed. Wali slowly approached again. What choice did he have? He had no choice but to go along with what my brother told him. 'Ha! Let's see how funny he finds it now!' I thought to myself. Assef bent down to whisper in Kamal's ear. ''Give Wali your hand. Your right one. Not the one that I broke,'' he ordered. Kamal shuddered in absolute terror. He was still kneeling on the shards of glass. I couldn't wait for Wali to rape him!

I laughed at the thought. I was so devilish, wasn't I? Assef hissed into Kamal's ear. ''NOW!'' he ordered. Slowly, with great hesitation, Wali seized Kamal's outstretched wrist. He gripped it tightly. Assef smirked at me. He directed his attention to Wali. ''Now, Wali. One good pull should do it,'' he said. Wali nodded. He knew there was nothing he could do. There was a sickening crack as he tugged on Kamal's arm.

Kamal fell forward, screaming in pain. He was now slumped in the broken shards of glass. His arm was twisted at an odd angle. I let out a laugh of delight. Kamal began to scream from pain. Thank God there was nobody around at that time. We were quite secluded in that regard. I could rest assured that nobody would come in and see us. Still, anxiety is part of my disposition so part of me did worry over shit like that. Wali covered his mouth with his hand and started to weep. ''Oh my God, oh my God.. Kamal, I'm so sorry. Oh God!'' he whispered.

Assef rolled his eyes. ''We didn't come here to listen to you faggots wax poetic with each other. Wali, get on with it,'' he pointed to Kamal. Hesitantly, Wali made his way behind Kamal. His friend looked up at him with forgiveness and reassurance in his dark eyes.

''It's not your fault. You have no choice,'' he said in hushed tones. Wali fingered the buckle of his jeans. He hesitated for a moment.

''SOMETIME BEFORE I'M DEAD!'' I screamed in frustration, fists clenched at my sides.

''You heard her. Get on with it,'' Assef snarled. Wali shuddered. He lifted Kamal's buttocks up and pulled down his friend's pants and boxers. Kamal began to struggle as Wali undid the belt of his own trousers. My eyes filled with happy tears. Wali positioned himself behind Kamal. A lone tear made it's way down his cheek. I grinned gleefully. I looked at them both in disgust.

'This is the price you have to pay,' I thought to myself, watching Wali sob as he raped his friend. ''Such a good boy, Wali.'' Assef teased, his voice dropping with sarcasm. ''Now, why don't you dislocate his hip for me? Another hard pull should do it.'' He ordered. Wali almost broke down on the spot. Kamal let out another shriek as Wali obeyed my brother's orders.

He fell forward, tears pooling in his brown eyes. I slapped my knees and laughed in ecstasy. Assef surveyed his 'friend's' with a keen interest. He nodded to Wali after about ten minutes or so. ''That's enough now, jan,'' he held out a hand to stop him. I looked up at my brother. Assef gestured for Wali to come to him.

Wali obeyed without hesitation. With a wicked grin on his face, my brother gave Wali's arm a good hard yank, dislocating it. He kicked the sobbing boy hard, causing him to fall backward. My brother then dislocated Wali's hip as well. Wali covered his mouth as he sobbed from shear agony. I didn't give a fuck! I had NO sympathy for either of them! Worthless assholes!

Assef backed both sobbing heaps of shit into a corner. He placed his hands on his hips and surveyed them, the veneer of a remorseless psychopath on his face. He cocked his head to one side, then the other. ''Having fun, boys?'' he asked sarcastically. ''Well, I'm certainly enjoying myself. What about you, Saria?'' I nodded.

''Yes!'' I managed to get out between peals of laughter. My brother gently stroked Kamal's face and hair. ''Tell me, Kamal, what did it feel like to have Wali inside you?'' He asked mockingly. A look of rage passed Wali's face for a brief moment, and then it was gone. He knew better than to challenge Assef. My brother drew back his hand and slapped Kamal right across the face. ''You worthless pieces of shit, both of you!'' He snarled. His eyes were cold, furious. Wali and Kamal shrank backwards, petrified. They were now backed right against the wall. Where could they go? There was nowhere for them to run to. Nowhere to hide. They had brought all of this upon themselves.

I bet now they were regretting ever even speaking to Aarash. Serves them right for hurting me. Serves them right for thinking they would get away with it. Assef paced around them, exuding authority. They had no idea what he was going to do next. They were truly scared out of their wits. I could sense their terror like a shark sensing blood in the water. I'm surprised neither of them had shit themselves yet.

The thought made me snigger. Assef surveyed his friends with a psychotic interest. He crossed his arms over his chest. ''Look at you, disgusting pigs,'' he hissed. I could see the blood forming on Wali and Kamal's knees from where they had been pressed up against the shards of glass. My lip curled at the sight of it. I felt as though I had truly purged myself of any feelings I had for Kamal.

He simply no longer meant a thing to me. He was merely another worthless victim. Seeing him and Wali in so much pain lifted my spirits, and I could tell it lifted my brother's spirits too. Assef licked his lips sadistically. He tapped his foot. ''Hmm, what to do with you now? What to do?'' he muttered to himself.

''Uh, l-let us go?'' Wali offered. My brother whipped around and jabbed his finger in Wali's face.

''Fancy yourself as a bit of a comedian, Wali?'' he snapped. Wali shrank back, terrified.

He shook his head frantically. ''No, uh, I.. I.. No,'' he stuttered. Assef nodded, satisfied by this answer. He sighed deeply.

''As I was saying, what to do with you now?'' he asked rhetorically. ''What other fun things can us friends do together?'' he pondered to himself, tapping his fingers against his chin.

''Ah!'' Assef exclaimed, the broadest of grins on his face. ''I know _just_ the thing.'' He bent over to retrieve something from his book bag. With the most evil of smiles, he materialised a long piece of rope. He twisted it in his hands as he approached Wali and Kamal. Their backs were now pinned against the wall. They had nowhere to go. Assef gestured with the rope in his hand. ''Scoot a little closer together,'' he ordered.

They obeyed without hesitation. Such good little dogs they were. Assef squatted down and quickly wound the rope around their waists, pulling it taut. He then kicked them backwards. They landed on their backs on the ground, like turtles out of their shells. Assef pulled two other things from his pocket. The first I recognised as being a large bottle of whiskey from Papa's cabinet.

''Don't worry, I've replaced this so no one will know it was missing,'' he told me. He unscrewed the lid and meticulously poured the liquid all over the two tightly bound boys on the ground. He then opened his palm to reveal the lighter that he had bought me for my birthday. ''I had to sneak into your room last night to get this, kiddo. I hope you don't mind.'' He told me.

I shook my head. ''Not at all.'' Assef flicked the lighter on. The flame flickered as he approached the boys. ''I wonder how fast this will react with the alcohol?'' he asked. Wali's eyes grew as wide as saucers. He began to shake his head frantically. Beside him, Kamal did likewise.

''No, no, NOOO!'' Kamal cried desperately. They slumped forward in a heap at my brother's feet. ''Please, Assef, don't, please, we'll do anything, _anything_ you want. Whatever you want. Just _please_ please don't do this!'' Kamal sobbed. Assef paused for a brief moment. He extended the lighter to me.

''I'm not the one who's going to decide,'' he told them. I gripped the lighter with my tiny, nimble fingers.

''Please, Saria!'' The begging had started again. Please, don't hurt us!'' I turned my nose up in satisfaction at their pleas. Assef smiled.

''Hm, decisions, decisions,'' I muttered, walking in circles around them. I weighed up my options. Kill them or let them live? After what I'm sure was a tense wait for Wali and Kamal, I decided they would be allowed to live. After all, who knows when they might come in handy? I handed the lighter to my brother.

''Let them live,'' I said.

Assef nodded. ''Well boys, aren't you going to thank my sister for being so merciful? You know you don't deserve it after all,'' he insisted. They both turned to me.

''Thank you, Saria, thank you, thank you!'' They grovelled. I smirked.

''Now boys, there are going to be some changes around here. You two are going to be treating both me and Saria with respect. We _own_ you, is this clear?''

''Clear, crystal clear,'' they sobbed.

Assef nodded, satisfied. ''That's all well and good my friends, but now we have to make _sure_ you know who you belong to. Don't we, Saria?'' He materialised a tiny little poker from the bag. Assef heated up the poker with the flame from the lighter. He slowly approached the pathetic cunts. He bent down and lifted Wali's shirt. I couldn't see what he was doing. My brother's silhouette blocked my view. I could just hear Wali's pain filled screams.

His eyes rolled back into his head. Assef pulled back, smiling at his handiwork. He then turned his attentions to Kamal. Kamal let out a cry of agony as my brother tortured him. His eyes widened as he gasped like a fish out of water. Assef gestured for me to come over. ''Look sister, now they're truly ours.'' I approached and saw that Assef had branded his initials into his friend's chests.

Right above their hearts. I laughed happily. ''Would you like to try?'' Assef asked. I nodded. Slowly, meticulously, I branded my initials into both boy's chests. My face broke out in a huge grin.

''NO! OH GOD STOPPPPP!'' Kamal cried out. He flopped like a fish out of water. I surveyed our handiwork. 'A.A and S.A' Both carved upon their hearts. I looked up at Assef. He bent over and leaned right in their faces.

''Now, here's what you're going to say if anyone asks what happened; you fell out of a tree. Do not, and I repeat, do _not_ let anybody see the markings we just gave you.'' He grabbed the rope and pulled it towards himself. ''I'll ask you just once. Are you going to tell on us?'' He asked ominously. They both shook their heads frantically. Assef twisted their arms and hips back into their sockets.

''OH GODDDD!'' Wali screamed. My brother untied their ropes. ''Let this be a good lesson to both of you. I don't want to _ever_ hear of you disrespecting Saria again. She owns you, I own you. Let this branding serve as a reminder to that. Now get out of our sight.'' They didn't hesitate. They half crawled out of the alley, tears streaming down their faces. Assef extended his arms to me.

I placed my head on his chest, my warm embrace speaking my gratitude louder than words. I cried from genuine happiness. Assef stroked the back of my head. ''Is this a thank you? Well, you're very welcome, kiddo.''

''That was one of the best things you ever did for me,'' I told him. I pulled back and smiled at my dear brother. ''Thank you for letting me brand them.'' Assef took my hand.

''You own those filthy dogs just the same as I do,'' he told me. I beamed at him.

''Let's go home,'' Assef suggested. I shook my head, my hair flying from side to side. I clasped my hands under my chin.

''No, let's stay for a few more minutes. I want to remember this moment forever.''


	28. Of Lost Friendships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria was delighted when Assef gave her the chance to both punish and brand Wali and Kamal. She revelled in the fear she made her victims feel. Now we find she has returned to school but it won't be long before a familiar face returns...

I hear that laugh. That evil, evil laugh. Aarash stands over me, the psychotic glint in his eyes making me shake like a leaf. With obvious amusement at my fear he brings his fist down repeatedly, Assef's screams growing louder and eventually matching my own as searing pain shoots through every nerve in my body. I turn my head, only to come face to face with Aarash.

''You're mine now, bitch,'' he says as he raises his fist. With a whoosh, his fist flies through the air. I flinch, preparing myself for the end when I hear Assef scream. I shot upwards, panting as my eyes darted every which way, disorientated, waiting for the blow which would end my life, only to be greeted by a small hand resting upon mine.

''It's just the school bell, Saria. We can go home now.'' I looked over to see that little cunt Delbar. That's when it hit me. I was sitting in class. No Aarash. No pain. My brother wasn't screaming my name. It was... It was a dream. A fucking dream. The scream I had heard was just the shrill cry of the school bell. A noise that was quickly getting on my nerves. I placed a hand over my chest and breathed out deeply, my whole body shaking. Beside me, that dumb cunt Delbar lent over and gave me a hug.

''Don't worry, Saria. It was just a bad dream,'' she smiled reassuringly at me.

I rolled my eyes. ''Yeah, no shit,'' I snapped in German. She didn't bother to question the strange language I was using. The girls were used to me speaking in German. They just took it for granted that I would do so. Or perhaps it was the venomous look in my eyes that stopped Delbar from speaking any further. She quickly released me and shrank back in on herself, like a tortoise in its shell.

I pushed my chair back, my eyes locking unwaveringly on hers. My heart was still beating one hundred miles per hour. 'Fucking Aarash! Will these fucking nightmares _ever_ stop? And this fucking bell! Couldn't they have gotten something that _doesn't_ make as much noise?' I thought furiously. I clenched my fists at my sides, glowering in Delbar's direction. She was lucky we were in a crowded classroom, or else I would quite possibly have smacked her in the face.

I really needed a human punching bag to take my frustrations out on, since my bitch was nowhere in sight. A good thing for her, if you ask me. I probably would have killed the fucking cunt after what she did. All the pain, the fucking nightmares. All her fault. The thought of that bitch made me shake. Delbar couldn't even look me in the eyes, pointedly keeping her gaze on her hands as she hurriedly packed her schoolbag with trembling hands.

Ha. That will teach the little cunt to stay the fuck away from Saria Ahmed. I smirked to myself in satisfaction at the thought of violently slamming Delbar's head against the desk. Of taking my leaking fountain pen and stabbing her in the eyes. She lifted her head, her eyes meeting mine for the briefest of moments. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and right now Delbar was giving me a pretty clear picture of how terrified she was.

Her little fingers trembled as she struggled to do up the zip on her bright red school bag. I swung my own bag over my shoulder, purposely catching Delbar in the stomach as I did so. She hissed in pain and doubled over, clutching her abdomen. Her dark grey eyes filled with tears. I covered my mouth with my hand and began sniggering to myself at the sight of her. She struggled to compose herself for a few moments before she finally spoke in a timid little voice.

''Um, well, I-I guess I'll see you on Monday, Saria,'' Delbar stuttered. She sniffled, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her dark navy blouse. 'Stupid little cunt,' I thought, glaring at her shuddering form. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Mullah Fahsir Khan looking in my general direction, a concerned look on his face. Had he seen what I had just done? I tried to search his face for the answer. Maybe it was just my mood today but I honestly couldn't read him.

'Please don't let him have seen me hurt Delbar,' I begged the heavens. Now, I didn't _care_ about what I had just done, don't get me wrong. I felt no remorse. The little bitch deserved it, didn't she? My only concern was that I would end up in detention today. I unclenched my fists, the dark glare on my face being replaced with a false smile of childhood innocence.

''I'll see you on Monday, Delbar. Go on home now. That's a good little girl,'' I spoke in a low voice, not wanting to be overheard. She nodded, so frantically, that I thought her head was going to fall off. Ha! That would have been funny.

''Yes.. Yes, Saria,'' she said like the good little dog she is.

I felt smug as I watched her back away from the table, almost tripping over her own feet in her haste to get away from me. She was as good as mine as far as I was concerned. I tried to close up my bag, but the rusty zipper kept getting stuck. Not surprising though, seeing as how it was _six_ fucking years old. Why my retarded parents hadn't bought me a new one I had no idea. It wasn't down to money; we were nearly pissing change.

''Stupid fucking zipper,'' I muttered in German. Mullah Fahsir Khan still stared at me, making me anxious. He had been staring at me for pretty much the whole lessons. I'll admit it unnerved me slightly. Okay, a _lot_. As the room cleared, I noticed him beckon me over with one finger. 'Oh, what _now?_ ' I thought, slowly making my way towards him. I approached his desk, a genuinely confused look on my face.

Mullah Fahsir Khan towered over me like a giant, his thick arms crossed over his chest. I bowed my head meekly, the picture of obedience. The Mullah pursed his lips and surveyed me for a few unnerving moments. I took a deep breath and decided to speak up. ''Um, caa?'' I asked timidly. He took notice of the worried look on my face and his expression softened. He reached out to me, placing a gentle hand upon my shoulder. ''Am I in trouble?'' I asked innocently, taking on the tone of a young child who is about to be chastised.

He shook his head, a reassuring smile on his face. ''No, you're not in any trouble, Saria. Nothing like that.'' He ran a hand through his hair. He exhaled. ''Actually, what I wanted to talk to you about, was Adia.'' The mere sound of the bitch's name sent a wave of fury coursing through my soul. I very nearly frowned at the Mullah. Still, I held my smile.

''What about Adia?'' I asked, hoping to God that he wasn't about to start accusing me of anything. My mouth parted slightly. I was as confused as I looked. Did he know something that he shouldn't? My tiny hands fumbled with the ribbon on the front of my dark green pinafore. I shifted nervously from one foot to the other. When the Mullah eventually spoke, his voice was laced with concern.

''She hasn't been in school lately. And I was wondering if you knew.. anything about it?'' he asked. What the fuck was he accusing me of? I glanced down at my shoes, my toes scuffing the marble floor. The mere thought of Adia made me want to scream. She was very fucking lucky that she was out of school, actually. I shook my head, the blue ribbons on my pigtails moving from side to side.

''No, agha. I don't know why Adia's not been in school lately,'' I told him, craning my neck to look into his eyes. ''Maybe she's sick or something.'' I wanted to steer the conversation as far away from Adia as possible. Mullah Fahsir Khan sighed, placing a gnarled hand over my own. He looked into my eyes. For a brief, insane moment, it felt as though he could see into my soul.

Could he see the dangerous psychopath that lurked beneath the pigtails and childish dresses? What clues was I giving him? ''I just thought you would, seeing as you're her friend and everything,'' he said quietly. I remained silent as I took on the persona of a girl who was deeply concerned for her best friend.

I cocked my head to one side. ''Well, I haven't heard from Adia in a long time. But maybe she's just been having a rough few days. It is coming up to the anniversary of her brother's death, after all,'' I explained shyly. Mullah Fahsir Khan regarded me for a second. The concern he had for Adia was sickening, especially given the fact that the bitch didn't deserve any of it.

He leaned in close to my ear, the putrid smell of his breath taunting my nostrils. 'Get away, you fucking prick,' I thought vehemently. The Mullah whispered quietly to me. ''Thank you for being such a good friend to her. With everything that's happened, Masood's death and all, she really needs a friend like you to be there for her.''

I almost rolled my eyes at this statement. 'And apparently she doesn't feel the same way,' I thought, fixing my gaze on the old grandfather clock that stood adjacent to the Mullah's desk. It was now about 3:45 PM.

I became irritated as I realized that I had been kept here for well over five minutes. I narrowed my eyes darkly at the clock, my annoyance now so great it stretched to inanimate objects. Why couldn't I just go home? Did this cunt think I _wanted_ to talk about Adia? I wanted to leave, to be with my older brother again. Mullah Fahsir Khan must have noticed my impatience, because he clapped me on the shoulder sympathetically. With the broadest of smiles, he reached out and ruffled my hair.

''You're a sweet kid, Saria. You may leave,'' he said, focusing his attentions on the stack of papers littering his desk. I obediently took my leave, as was expected of me. As I peeked out into the hallway, I noticed that it was still full of rowdy students and exhausted teachers. I hesitantly stepped out into the crowded hallway, the straps of my bag digging into my shoulders.

Girls of all ages whizzed by me, their chatter ringing in my ears like the buzzing of wasps. I tried to locate a spot to focus my gaze on as I meandered down the hallway, shoes clicking on the marble flooring. From the corner of my eye, I could just see the middle aged janitor up ahead, sweat dripping from his brow as he diligently mopped the dirty floor. He was a regular sight in these hallways. Paying him no mind, I sullenly trudged my way through the crowd. So far today, nobody had paid much attention to me, and that was how I liked it.

Yet, as of now, that was the last thing on my mind. My ever-wandering thoughts were now focused on Adia, the little bitch who Mullah Fahsir Khan was so concerned about. Why this was, I had no fucking clue. It wasn't even as though she had been missing for long. Only a week, in fact. This really wasn't a cause for concern, was it? I shook my head, trying to distract myself, knowing that if I thought about Adia I would surely go mad.

I was suddenly distracted by the sight of Ahtrai and her friends approaching. The cocky little bitch had a wry grin on her face as she casually strolled towards me. The filthy whore took the chance to have her way with me. As we neared each other, Ahtrai slammed into me, sticking her foot out and pushing me right onto the ground. I toppled over, landing flat on my face. I felt pain shoot through me as I cracked my head off the tiled ground.

''MOVE IT, BITCH!'' she shouted, cackling. The passing students burst out in peals of laughter at me, lying in a heap on the floor, sending another tear through the fabric of my soul. I balled my hands up into fists as my entire body trembled with unbridled rage. 'Not _again_! Aren't those fucking nightmares _enough_ for me to be dealing with?' I thought irately, turning my head to glance up at the little cunts.

I gritted my teeth, my lips flaying as I snarled like a cornered animal. Well, just what else did Ahtrai expect? She treated me like some wild, untamable beast, so it was only natural for me to lash out at her like one. One of Ahtrai's little clique members, Freba, became visibly unnerved by my sudden outburst. She leaned over to whisper in Ahtrai's ear. With a fleeting glance at my trembling form, Ahtrai and her friends walked away, unsure of how to deal with the situation.

''See you on Monday, Saria,'' Ahtrai cackled over her shoulder.

'Just calm down, Saria. Calm down,' I told myself, clenching and unclenching my tiny fists. A terrible pain shot up through my left knee. I looked down, inspecting myself. My tights had ripped -which pissed me off, since they were new- and I noticed a small cut just above my knee.

''Oh for FUCK SAKE!'' I yelled in German. I winced in pain as I slowly got back on my feet. My eyes scoured the throes of students, looking for anyone I could take my frustrations out on. Some poor child that I could slap or kick. If I was hurting, then _everyone_ should be hurting! My face remained contorted in a furious mask of passionate rage.

The other girls were now making haste to get away from me, their muffled whispers circulating. They were intelligent enough to know when to stay out of my way. ''Always my fucking luck,'' I grumbled angrily. The familiar sound of footsteps told me that someone else was approaching. Feeling a gentle hand upon my shoulder, I turned my head to be met by the grey-haired janitor I had seen earlier.

Luckily for him, I managed to control my temper. The bitter grimace on my face melted into an expression of unfathomable sadness. I really knew how to switch my emotions on and off. The janitor, Houshmand, looked at me with concern in his almond shaped eyes. ''Little girl.. Are you okay?'' he asked. ''I saw what those girls just did to you. Are you sure you're alright?''

I nodded vigourously. ''Yes, yes, I'm fine. Nothing that I'm not used to by now, after all.'' There, it always helped to pull a few heartstrings.

''Well, that doesn't mean it has to keep on happening. I promise I'll look out for you, I really will.'' I appreciated his kindness towards me. Just like my brother. Still, I knew there was no way I was ever going to be ''accepted'' by any of my classmates. I was the black sheep, the weirdo, the 'freak' of the school. Nothing would ever change this.

Houshmand, caring though he was, just didn't understand who he was speaking to. I sighed deeply, trying to look as innocent as possible. Sweet fantasies filled my head of forcing Ahtrai's head under the water of the bucket the janitor used to mop the floors. Just until the bubbles stopped. Houshmand removed his hand from my shoulder, turning back to his work.

''You just remember that I'm here for you, shorty,'' he said.

I nodded. ''I'll remember.'' I was a bit pissed off at his choice of nickname. Yes, I'm fucking short, I can't really control it. Did he _need_ to rub it in? Stupid fucking asshole. Yet again, my thoughts were drifting into the negative. It seemed that was always the case with me. Slowly, and with a heavy heart, I began to make my way outside. The glare of the afternoon sun almost blinded me as I sullenly limped my way down the steps.

My eyes darted this way and that as I looked through the crowd of parents and children for my older brother. I'll admit I wasn't looking forward to his reaction when he saw the state of me. I spotted him casually leaning against the huge, wrought iron gates, his arms crossed over his chest. He was tapping his foot impatiently. I made my way over to him, a forlorn expression on my face.

There wasn't any point in me trying to feign happiness; Assef could read me like an open book. I was met by a warm, kind smile as I neared him. Assef took genuine pleasure in seeing me after a long school day. ''Good afternoon, kiddo.'' I found delight in the sound of his rich accent, a mixture of Afghani and German, which was so much like my own. Assef opened his arms and caught me in a bone crushing embrace, ruffling my hair.

''What took you so long?'' he asked teasingly. I glanced down at my shoes, not answering my brother. The smile disappeared from Assef's face when he looked down and saw the cut on my knee. He narrowed his eyes at the wound.

''Saria, where did you get that cut?'' he asked in a low voice. I mumbled something incoherently, not looking in his eyes. Assef cupped my chin and forced my head up. ''I can't understand you, kiddo. Who did this to you?'' There was a fierce look in his eyes, like a lion protecting his cub.

I threw up my hands, exasperated. ''Ahtrai! Who _else_?'' I growled. ''She just pushed me to the ground. All I wanted was to leave. That's _all_ I wanted!'' I exclaimed. Assef placed a comforting arm on my shoulder.

''And did you hurt her too?'' he asked.

I shook my head, my arms crossed. ''She's lucky I didn't break her fucking neck! Well, really, there was nothing I _could_ do, Assef! Practically the whole fucking school saw it!'' I breathed in and out deeply, tugging at my curled hair. I stamped my feet in a childish fit of pique.

Assef stuck his arm out, placing a hand upon my chest. ''Calm down now, kiddo. They've all gone home,'' he said. His words did nothing to soothe the vicious torment of my psyche. I glanced around me, certain that Ahtrai and her friends were going to ambush me, to find some way to humiliate me further. What else could I expect?

A lone tear slowly made its way down my cheek. With a sympathetic look in his eyes, Assef reached out and wiped it away with the sleeve of his dark shirt. ''It's okay, kiddo. They can't bother you anymore.'' He took my little hand in his. ''Let's get you home, eh?'' The gentle tone of his voice did little to calm me down.

I nodded forlornly at my brother. Assef began to lead me out of the gates, the feeling of his hand in mine offering at least some comfort. Still, I couldn't get Ahtrai off my mind. What the hell gives that little cunt the right to bully me? Why was it me that she always seemed to lash out at? I hadn't done _anything_ to warrant such cruel treatment.

'Just another Zainab I'll have to put in her place,' I thought. She was pushing me to the brink. Past that point of no return. That little girl was skating on very, _very_ thin ice. Sooner or later, I knew that ice would crack and she would be dragged under. There would come a time when I would no longer be able to control myself. Ahtrai had better hope that she wises up before this ever happens.

I remained lost in a sullen melancholy as Assef and I traipsed down the road, kicking up little puffs of dust. ''You know something, kiddo,'' Assef spoke up, voicing my inner thoughts. ''That little cunt needs to watch her boundaries,'' he said, a vicious edge to his voice. ''If _anybody_ disrespects _my_ sister, they disrespect me too!'' He jabbed his thumb at himself in emphasis.

I nodded. ''Thank you, Assef. You're a great brother.''

He grinned, clapping me on the shoulder. ''Well, you're a great sister.'' We both smiled at each other. Soon, however, I was about to find out that Ahtrai would be the last thing on my mind this evening. That is for me to write about in due time. Sunlight almost blinded me, illuminating both myself and Assef, as we continued our journey home.

I had to make the most of the nice weather, though. The winter months were fast approaching. I could tell just by the slight chill in the air. Now I wished I had brought a fucking coat, but oh well. At least I'd be home soon. I could put all the worries of today behind me. ''Do you have any homework to do, Saria?'' Assef asked.

I shook my head. ''Nope. Mullah Fahsir Khan hasn't been giving us many assignments lately.''

''Well, in that case, how about I challenge you to a game of volley ball when we get home? I'll even let you win this time!'' my brother teased.

''I _always_ win,'' I quipped back, puffing out my chest. Assef turned and jabbed me in the ribs.

''Ah!'' I giggled. We both smiled at each other, all the troubles of earlier melting away like snow. Assef always knew just what to do or say to make everything right in my world. We continued our walk. I remained lost in thought as we passed by the old children's playground that Assef and I spent most of our childhood in.

Normally, such a place would be overrun by screaming children, but today it was deserted, save for a lone figure on the swings. The little girl seemed to be no older than eleven. Her tiny form moved back and forth with the swing. I kept looking at her as we passed by. As I neared the park, the child lifted her head, and her eyes locked on mine. An unimaginable fury like no other coursed through my bones. My heart beat with such vigor I felt it would surely burst from my chest. Adia. The sight of my bitch was enough to make me want to scream in rage. I couldn't fucking believe it! What was she doing here? Assef glanced at me in concern.

''Kiddo?'' he asked. ''What is it?'' His words were lost on me as I began to stride across the park towards my bitch, intent on teaching her a lesson she wouldn't soon forget. Well, that was my intention. This was all but forgotten when I got closer, saw the look in Adia's eyes. She was broken, there is no other way for me to describe it. Her once bright and vibrant eyes were now dull.

That spark often seen in a child's eyes gone forever. She ducked her head down, hair falling forward, but that didn't stop me from noticing the large, mottled bruise on her neck. She was wearing a green polo neck, obviously trying to hide the marks on her skin. Not that it mattered; I could see the hand shaped bruise. The hand that had been raised to strike her moved instead to my mouth. I gasped in shock.

''Adia...'' I breathed. Her little body trembled in fear as I approached the swings. Who had done this to her? I began to feel a surge of uncharacteristic empathy upon seeing the tears staining her cheeks. Yes, she was a bitch, and don't get me wrong, she _deserved_ to be punished for what she did, but Adia was _my_ property. How dare somebody else lay a finger on her? Adia cowered away from me as I neared her.

I could see every single emotion flashing through her charcoal eyes. Fear, shame, humiliation. Everything. She was paralysed with fear, her little body frozen still as a statue. Assef remained quiet by my side as I bent down to Adia's level. I took both of her tiny hands in mine. ''Adia jan?'' I asked softly. She began to tremble, mumbling incoherently. I straightened up, keeping my hands in hers.

I knew I couldn't allow myself to become violent. That was not the answer. ''Come with me, please, Adia jan.'' It was not a request, but an order, although the soft tone of my voice would have anybody fooled. With tears staining her tanned cheeks, Adia got to her feet. I kept my hand in hers as I led her over to a nearby park bench. We sat down and I kept holding Adia's hands.

I knew I would have to remain patient and calm if I were to ever coax an answer from her. ''Adia, can you tell me what happened? Who did this to you?'' I asked softly. Adia began to shake uncontrollably. My poor bitch. ''I won't hurt you, Adia.'' I looked up at my brother. '' _We_ won't hurt you.''

Assef got my drift, smiling at my bitch. ''That's right, Adia. We're not going to hurt you,'' he said. Sometimes it felt as though Assef could read my thoughts. I sidled closer to Adia, a look of genuine empathy in my eyes. I wanted to know who had done this her. _What_ they had done to her.

''Please, Adia, tell me who did this to you?'' I pleaded, laying a gentle hand upon the bruise. She flinched at my touch. I had to know her secrets if I were to ever manipulate her, to punish her. ''You can tell me, Adia jan. Please. Mullah Fahsir Khan has been worried about you now, you know.'' She mumbled something incoherently, not daring to look at me. ''Adia, tell me now.'' She looked up. I gently placed my hand on her cheek.

'Have to stay in control,' I thought. Adia flung her arms round my neck, tears streaming down her face. She began to shake from head to toe. ''I'm sorry, Saria. I'm so sorry. I didn't m-mean to hurt you, so stupid. Stupid!'' she cried. Well, I couldn't argue with her on that one! ''I d-didn't mean to, honest! I'm sorry. You.. You're... I.. Should have listened to you," she babbled.

I remained docile as I rested my head on her shoulder, running my fingers through her crow black hair. ''Please tell me who hurt you.''

The next words from her mouth infuriated me. ''Aarash... Aarash was mean to me.''

Such a childish explanation. I struggled to remain in control of my emotions. Even the mention of that asshole's name was taboo. How _dare_ he lay a finger on Adia? How dare he! Did he not understand the concept of respecting other people's belongings? Nobody gets to hurt Adia! Nobody but me and Assef! I knew I had to remain calm. Adia continued to shake in my arms, her breath coming in short gasps.

My hands stroked her back, trying to provide just some comfort to the broken child. You see, I'm not just a cold-blooded monster, am I? Isn't Adia lucky to have me? ''It's okay, Adia jan. Nay, don't cry, don't cry,'' I soothed. ''Shh, everything is going to be alright. I promise.''

Now, I really _had_ to know more. I needed answers from the bitch. Yet, I knew that I couldn't just ask her outright. I had to play it cool. ''Adia,'' I said gently, pulling away from her. ''Would you like to come to my house today?'' I asked. ''We can go swimming, if you want?'' The little bitch's eyes surveyed my face, searching for any clues as to my true intentions.

Being a true manipulator, I was able to keep that gentle, kind look on my face. Trust me, I wanted to slam her head against the fucking swings! The concern I showed was all just a mask. Adia bit her lip, nodding. ''Okay, Saria. I-I'll come up, but I.. uh, have to ask my parents first, and get my bathing costume,'' she muttered. I grinned smugly; the bitch was still afraid of disobeying me in the slightest. Adia knew who her _true_ master was!

''We'll come with you,'' I said. Assef leaned down to whisper in my ear. For the sake of keeping both our asses out of hot water, he spoke in our mother's native tongue.

''What are you doing, Sar? Have you forgotten what she did?''

I shook my head. ''No, of course not. But I need to know more. I have to know her weaknesses if I am to ever exploit them.''

Assef nodded in agreement. ''Okay,'' he straightened up. My brother gave Adia a warm smile. ''I'll take you girls to Adia's house, so she can ask her parents permission. It's only about ten minutes from here, caa?''

Adia nodded, slowly getting to her feet. ''Caa, agha,'' she mumbled. The fact that she had been so respectful to my brother confirmed to me that we still had control over her. Such a thought warmed my black heart. I kept close to her as we left the park. At a time like this, playing the part was imperative.

If I started giggling, or skipping, or doing anything one would deem inappropriate in this situation, Adia would immediately become suspicious. I had to feign concern. Adia stayed close by my side as we made the journey to her house. She had lost weight, I noticed, and her clothes hung off her tiny frame. Her once bright, vibrant eyes had now become dull. She was like a flower whose petals had been trampled on.

How the fuck had Faraya and Javid not _seen_ anything? Well, at least once I found out exactly what Aarash did I could use it to my own advantage. He would pay for daring to lay a hand on my Adia. That I promise you. Assef stayed a few steps ahead of us as we strolled. It felt comforting to know he was close by.

I kept holding my bitch's hand, rubbing it with my thumb to offer her some reassurance. She needed me. The thought made me want to shout with pride from the highest mountains. As we neared Adia's house, I noticed Faraya looking out the window, a worried expression on her face. I leaned over to whisper in my bitch's ear.

''Dry your tears,'' I ordered. Like an obedient servant, she hurriedly wiped her eyes. I raised my tiny fist and rapped my knuckles on the door. Faraya opened it. A brief look of confusion passed over her face, before she greeted me with a huge grin. I just have that affect on people.

''Good afternoon, khanom,'' I said politely, bowing my knees, the picture of sweet innocence.

Faraya was almost swooning. She placed a hand on my shoulder. ''Good afternoon,'' she said. Adia dropped my hand briefly, wrapping her arms around her mother's waist. Faraya leaned down to kiss the sweet eleven year old's head. ''And good afternoon to you too, baby. Are you feeling better?'' she asked.

Hesitantly, Adia nodded. ''Uh, yes, Mommy. A lot better.'' She looked back at me. 'I still control her!' I thought with a vindictive sneer. Assef stepped forward, taking over the conversation.

''Faraya khanom,'' he said respectfully. ''Saria and I, we just wanted to know if Adia would like to come to our house? Saria wants someone to share the pool with,'' he quipped.

Faraya blinked. ''Well, er, uh, do you want to go, Adia?'' she asked.

My bitch nodded, knowing full well just what the consequences would be if she refused. ''Yes, yes, I want to go!'' She was getting to be a good little actress, wasn't she? Perhaps I was starting to rub off on her. Faraya directed the conversation to my brother.

''Assef jan, who'll be looking after them?'' she asked, concerned. My brother pointed to himself.

''I will.'' Upon seeing the hesitant look that crossed her face, he quickly added, ''Don't worry, I'll take good care of them.'' Assef placed a gentle hand upon Adia's shoulder, drawing her in close to him. ''Adia jan here, she's been Saria's friend for so long, I feel she's just like part of the family.''

''Like sisters..'' I added, gripping the little cunt's arm. I recalled how Adia had wanted me to be that sister figure to her. Yes, I was going to use it to my own advantage. God, aren't I just a master actress? I should win an Oscar for my performances. A brief look of confusion passed Adia's face, before she blinked and gave me a dubious smile.

''L-like sisters,'' she repeated. Adia turned to her mother. ''Where is Daddy?'' she asked.

''Away on business, munchkin, he'll be home this evening.'' Faraya stepped aside, politely allowing us entry to her home. ''Please, come in. Adia, why don't you take Saria jan upstairs and fetch your swimsuit. Your room is clean, isn't it?'' Faraya barked.

''Uh, yes.'' Adia replied. Halfway up the stairs, she turned and gave me a sheepish look. ''It's actually a pigsty,'' she muttered.

''I guess that suits, cause you are a pig,'' I replied in German.

''What?'' Adia raised her eyebrows.

''I said, don't worry; my room is messy too.''

'Yeah right, it's fucking spotless,' I thought. Adia gave me a brief, apologetic look as she opened the door to her bedroom, and stepped inside. ''Fucking hell, bitch, you weren't kidding,'' I muttered under my breath. The place looked as if a bomb had gone off inside there. Stacks of paper littered the floor, her clothes lay strewn in a heap across the unmade bed. 'Ever heard of a clothes hamper?' I thought, stepping over a blue shirt that had orange juice stains running down the front. I wrinkled my nose up in disgust at the sight of it.

Adia was on her knees, crawling amidst the pile of clothes like some common animal. ''I'm, uh, I'm sorry it's taking so long, Saria,'' she mumbled. I remained standing over her, arms folded across my chest. I tapped my foot impatiently. Finally, after what seemed like _forever_ , the ugly cow materialized a bright pink and yellow polka-dot bathing costume. 'Fucking state of it,' I thought, giggling.

I took such genuine pleasure in her discomfort. As I glanced around me, I knew I couldn't fucking stand to be in this room for much longer. ''I'm going downstairs, Adia. Come on down when you're ready.'' With that being said, I left my bitch to her own devices. I turned on my heel and skipped my way downstairs. This was just another childish mannerism I had learned to perfect.

Faraya and Assef glanced up from their places on the sofa as I entered. ''Adia jan will be down in a minute,'' I said, taking a seat beside Assef. He reached out, put his arm round me and drew me in close to him. Faraya glanced over at us, smiling. Who wouldn't adore how close we were? Five minutes, then ten minutes passed before my bitch eventually traipsed down the stairs, a dark green rucksack on her shoulders. ''What took you so long, cunt?'' my brother asked in German. Of course, neither Adia nor her mother bothered to question his foreign tongue.

''Sorry that I'm late,'' Adia murmured, glancing at her feet. I noticed she had turned up the collar of her polo neck, attempting to hide the bruise from her mother. With a smile gracing my lips, I got to my feet, extending my hands on either side.

''Are you ready to go?'' I asked. She nodded, taking my outstretched hand. I squeezed her little fingers, beaming. ''Yay! Yay!'' I celebrated, rocking back and forth on my heels. Faraya stood up, clapping my brother on the shoulder.

''You take care of them, Assef jan,'' she said in a stern tone.

''Always, Khala jan.'' It genuinely surprised me how benevolent the smile on his face looked. Faraya gripped Adia's shoulders.

''Behave yourself, and do what Assef jan says,'' she warned sternly. The little bitch nodded, still gripping my wrist.

''I'll behave, Mommy. I promise.'' Adia shifted from one foot to another. She could sense my impatience.

''Alright then, be careful,'' Faraya warned. As I tugged Adia out the door, I heard Faraya whispering to Assef. ''She's not a very strong swimmer. Please look out for her.'' Assef's eyes met mine, and I knew what he was thinking. All the ways to hurt or scare Adia in the pool.

''Of course I'll look after her. Don't worry about a thing. Come on, girls.'' He led us out the door, hands resting upon our shoulders. I turned and waved sweetly at Faraya, before dragging Adia along the gravel-covered driveway. 'Have to play innocent,' I reasoned with myself. Truly, I felt like a retard for behaving this way. Assef rolled his eyes sympathetically at my little display.

He knew just how difficult it was for me to control myself. How much I wanted to slash Adia's throat. ''Are you coming back to school on Monday?'' I asked, once we were far enough away from the house. ''You know your parents will be suspicious if you keep staying out,'' I warned. Adia gave me a sheepish look, nodding.

''Yeah, I'm going back on M-Monday,'' she murmured to herself. ''Told my parents I needed fresh air, uh, that's why I was out.'' I rolled my eyes. Did she think I cared about that? I had to constantly remind myself to watch my temper. My Adia needed me. And I _needed_ to learn as much as I could so as to best use her ordeal against her. I stole a fleeting glance at her as she trundled along beside me. Every so often, she would fix her jumper, trying to hide the ugly marks.

'That's what you get for befriending a sociopath like Aarash,' I thought. Yes, I know, I can be accused of being equally cruel to Adia, but it's not _me_ we're talking about, is it? Assef smiled in my direction as we walked. He seemed just as eager to punish Adia as me. I found it amazing how we could instinctively tell what the other is thinking. Just our sibling bond, I guess.

My bitch remained lost in her own meanderings as we approached the large, white gate and high walls that enclosed my home, sweet home. Assef fumbled about in his pocket, muttering to himself. ''Fuck, where's the key? I know I put it in here,'' he swore, not bothering to use German. It didn't really matter if somebody heard us now. I skipped up beside him.

''Assef, hurry up, please!'' I said, as he turned his pockets out. Patience is _not_ one of my strong points, as I'm sure you know by now. Assef gave me an irked look, hands frantically searching for the missing house keys.

''Just give me a moment, kiddo.'' He _finally_ pulled it from his back pocket, a triumphant look on his face. " _There!_ Thank God I found it too, otherwise I'd have to climb over the wall,'' he joked. Adia laughed shakily, eyes darting from me to Assef. I kept holding her hand, fingers intertwined with my own. My brother unlocked the gate. It creaked as it swung open on its hinges, allowing the three of us entry.

Gingerly, my bitch followed me up the cobbled path, her eyes surveying the large dwelling with wonder. I felt smug as I glanced back at her. It had been so long since my bitch had come to play with me. I skipped up to the door, waiting patiently for Assef to unlock it. ''Are you looking forward to our swim, Adia jan?'' I asked as we stepped inside. I grinned at her. What one would assume was a look of pure innocence was, in fact, a smile full of malicious thoughts and intentions. Adia was trembling as she stepped inside my home. ''Assef, where are Mama and Papa?'' I asked.

He turned. ''Uh, away on a business trip, kiddo. They'll be home again tomorrow. Why do you ask?''

I shrugged. ''Oh, no reason.'' Business trip? Yeah right, they're probably off in some cheap motel fucking like rabbits. Such vulgar thoughts disgusted me. I rolled my eyes, snickering to myself at this gross mental image.

''Are you going to change into your swimsuit, kiddo?'' Assef asked, leaning casually against the bannister, arms folded. I nodded my head like it was on a spring.

''Give me five minutes, Adia jan and then we can play.'' I trekked up the stairs, grinning from ear to ear. Once I got to the landing, however, the sweet facade was replaced by a bitter grimace. Playing the ''cute'' little girl act drained my energy. I stalked into my bedroom, loudly closing the door behind me. ''At least my room isn't a fucking pigsty like Adia's,'' I grumbled, flinging open the doors to my humongous closet. ''Let's see, uh, swimsuit, swimsuit,'' I mused. ''Ah! Here we go!''

I held the disgusting abomination up to myself. It had ruffled sleeves, adorned with a pink rose petals design. A baby would look ten times better in it than I. This fucking piece of shit was the only costume I owned that fit me, however. I crinkled my nose up in disgust, as my nimble fingers struggled to open the buttons on my checkered pinafore. I finally got them open, and let the dress fall into a heap at my feet.

I took off my tights and balled them up, chucking them on the bed. Here I stood in nothing but my panties. It always baffled me how short I was. How utterly ''naked'' I felt without the girly dresses, the ribbons in my hair. Even Adia was going to grow up faster than I. Still, what good would it do me to worry over something I had no control over? A lot of people would consider themselves lucky to look as young as I.

Adia had been sent into the downstairs bathroom to change. I couldn't wait to learn just what Aarash did to her. I wanted to use it to my own advantage. To blackmail her. Ah, how the suffering of others brought a smile to my face. I pulled the swimsuit on, letting my hair fall in curls that framed my porcelain doll features. Angrily, I bent down to pick up my dress, and hurled it across the room, into the clothes hamper.

'Just some more shit for Hamilra to clean,' I thought. 'God, what _is_ there for me to get angry about?' Time for me to face the inevitable. I took a deep breath and stepped out into the hall, glancing left and right. 'Big smiles now, Saria. Your bitch is waiting.' I knew one day that I would regain full control of Adia. Such thoughts brought me great joy. They lifted my spirits immensely.

With these reassurances in my head, I casually began making my way downstairs. Adia was already dressed and waiting in her bathing suit, bare legs dangling into the chlorine filled water, splashing happily. My brother perched on the edge of a deck-chair, arms folded across his chest. He looked up, waving as I approached. I walked over to Adia, taking a seat beside her. I put my arm around her shoulder, drawing her in close. She was very fucking lucky I didn't push her into the deep end. I kissed her on the nose in a friendly, childish gesture.

''Wanna see me jump into the pool?'' I asked, standing up.

''Are you sure that's wise, kiddo?'' Assef called over.

I waved a dismissive hand. ''It's fine, Assef. I've done it before.''

Assef sighed, concerned. He ran his hands down his face. ''Okay, but please be careful, Saria. I'd rather not have to go diving in after you,'' he warned. I rolled my eyes, leaning forward on my heels. Letting out a whoop of childish joy, I sprung up, landing with a SPLASH in the pool. I laughed as I wiped the water from my eyes.

''Come on, Adia! The water's _perfect!_ '' I gestured. She looked down in hesitation. If only I could grab her legs and draw her under, like a shark dragging their prey into the murky waters.

''Go on, Adia, it's fine,'' Assef tried reassuring her.

''Well, okay then, but I can't swim real good, so let's stay away from the deep end,'' she said.

''Yes, okay, okay, come _on!_ '' I yelped. Adia took a deep breath and slid into the pool, laughing shakily. I could tell she was nervous; I could sense it. ''Stupid cunt,'' I grumbled under my breath. Luckily, she was too busy doggy-paddling in circles around me to hear anything. She was such a retard! I lay back, kicking my legs, content.

''Are you coming in, Assef?'' I asked my brother. He shook his head from where he perched on the chair, legs crossed one over the other.

''No, I'll pass, sweetheart. You girls have fun,'' I beamed.

''Oh, we _are_ having fun,'' Assef grinned at me, a malevolent look in his eyes. From my peripheral, I could just about see Adia splashing about in the corner of the pool. She seemed much, much happier now. It was as if the water had washed all her troubles away. I looked up, squinting at the blinding glare of the afternoon sun. 'What time is it?' I pondered quietly, licking my lips.

At least fifteen to twenty minutes had passed, I guessed. I was getting bored. Feigning excitement was such a chore. Now I _had_ to get answers! I think I've waited long enough, don't you? ''Come and catch me, Adia!'' I exclaimed, beginning to hurry towards the deep end. ''Come on!'' I beckoned with my hand, chortling.

She looked behind her.''Uh, are you sure it's safe?'' she asked. ''Please, let's stay here.''

'Stupid twat, do as I _say_!' I thought. Forcing a smile, I grabbed Adia's hand and dragged her over to the centre of the pool. We were now treading in water up to our necks. Adia gripped my arm with both of her hands, trembling.

I reached out and stroked her black hair, all the more placid and docile. I wanted to seem protective, the ''older sister'' type figure. ''Adia jan, may I ask you a question?'' She nodded. My voice became soft and gentle. ''Adia, my dear, could you tell me what Aarash did to you?'' I asked bluntly.

''I.. Uh.. I..'' she stammered, taken aback by such a personal question. Her eyes flitted nervously across my face. ''Saria, I..'' How difficult was it to give me an answer? I placed the back of my hand against her cheek.

''Please. You can trust me. I'm not going to hurt you.'' Yet another lie spewing from my mouth. She backed away from me, shivering. ''Oh, _don't_ start now, Adia! I'm just asking a _question_!'' Tears began to fill her eyes. She knew how easy it was to piss me off. I have one _really_ short fuse.

Grabbing her jaw, I forced her head up. ''I want to help you, Adia, but you're making it difficult. Tell me. NOW!'' Adia jerked backwards, trying to escape my grasp. My calm resolve shattering, I caught her shoulders and whirled her around. ''I've given you _enough_ chances, Adia! You will not deny me.'' With that, I forced her down, pushing hard on her bony shoulders until she disappeared underwater.

I kept a firm grip on her as she struggled, arms and legs kicking and clawing at me for release. ''This is what you get,'' I said, fingernails digging into her flesh. I let her up. She shot out of the water, gasping, eyes rolling back into her skull. She coughed and spluttered. ''Are you ready to talk?'' I asked.

My bitch continued to struggle against me. Fear was evident in her dark eyes. I shrugged. ''Suit yourself, then.'' I once again pushed her down, holding her in the watery abyss for what, to her, must have seemed like hours. The bitch was more willing to talk now, however. I'm so persuasive, aren't I?

''Okay, okay! I'll talk!'' she exclaimed, waving her hands frantically. I drew her in close, bending down so my mouth was close to her ear.

''Talk,'' I commanded her. With tears streaming down her face, Adia began to recount her ordeal at the hands of the psychotic Aarash.

''Aarash, he g-got really mad when I couldn't... When I...''

''When you couldn't burn me?'' I finished.

''Uh-huh. He s-said I was a coward. That I brought him shame. He started hitting me, and c-choking me.'' She gestured to the hideous markings on her throat. ''Aarash, he.. used to do things. Touch me in bad places.'' Adia let out a wail of pure sorrow, falling into my outstretched arms. I was at a loss for words. ''I didn't know what to do, Saria! He made me feel special. It was l like I had my brother back. What could I do? If.. If I did anything, or said anything, he'd kill me.''

I kissed her forehead, soothingly. ''Nay, nay, Adia jan. Dry your tears, child, everything is okay,'' I crooned, fingers running through her dripping wet hair. ''Shh, it's alright. He can't hurt you anymore, trust my words.'' Was this what being a mother felt like? Comforting a sobbing child, being strong for her? I drew back, taking her by the chin.

''Adia,'' I said. It was time for a stern talk with my 'friend'. ''I can protect you from Aarash. We can protect you, but you have to promise me something? Promise you'll never betray me again. If you do, you're on your own.'' She nodded frantically, bangs falling into her eyes.

''I swear, I won't be mean to you again!'' My bitch exclaimed, trembling, whether from fear or cold I neither know nor care. ''Good girl, jan. I'm so proud of you.'' Brushing a lock of hair back from her eyes, I gently drew her head towards me, and lovingly kissed the top of her ebony hair. ''I'll shrivel up if I stay in here much longer, I'm going to dry off. I'll meet you downstairs again.'' Adia nodded.

Pulling myself from the water, I flip-flopped towards the house. ''Back in a minute,'' I told my brother.

''Okay, don't slip.'' Ignoring his concerned words, I trudged and squelched into the kitchen. I shook my head side to side like a dog.

''Fucking water,'' I grumbled. It seemed that even the smallest of things were irritating me today. I glanced behind me to see Adia clamouring out of the pool, dripping water everywhere. She fearfully glanced over at my brother, eyes nervously locking on his, before turning on her heel and running off to explore the garden. ''And I hope she fucking dies of pneumonia!'' I exclaimed joyfully, not caring who heard me. I made my way upstairs, quietly closing my bedroom door behind me.

My feet made a disgusting squelching noise as they came into contact with the soft, dense fabric of the white carpet. Before going downstairs, I had already laid out a change of clothing for myself. It was a hideous lavender dress with poofball sleeves, knee-length skirt and yes, you fucking guessed it, a ribbon at the back. I was going to look a state, but what can I do? My eyes narrowed in disdain.

''Fucking shit,'' I hissed vehemently. Well, there was no use prolonging it any further. The fucking bathing costume clung to my saturated body as I peeled it off, groaning. It fell at my feet, water soaking the carpet. Who gives a shit? Hamilra would clean it up for me later. With that task done, I then vigorously rubbed my body dry. I heard the sound of the kitchen door slamming, followed by the childish laughter of Adia. I'll admit, I was happy that she had cheered up.

Like I wrote earlier, _nobody_ hurts _my_ bitch without my prior consent. I was determined to make Aarash suffer for what he did to her. To both of us. I yanked the dress over my head, cursing as the zip got caught in my hair. Why are _all_ my clothes so fucking _old_? This particular outfit I had since my ninth birthday. It fucking pissed me off, being this short. I did up the zipper and tied the large, disgusting cute ribbon.

There was no point even bothering to look at my reflection; I knew how grotesque I looked. There was a matching ribbon lying on the right-hand corner of my vanity. This would complete the look. I ran the brush through my tangled locks, fixing it into a half-up style, with the large bow at the back. Stupidly, I decided to try my hand at juggling, causing the wooden hairbrush to clatter onto the floor.

''Fucking _hell_!'' I grumbled, bending down to retrieve it. As I hunched forward, a sudden change in lighting grabbed my attention. I straightened up, brush in hand. There stood Adia, hands behind her back, a huge grin on her face. I smiled in return. ''Salaam, Adia jan. What have you got there?'' I asked quizzically. She bent her knees in obvious excitement.

''Look what I found Saria! Look what I found!'' My heart almost stopped when she materialised her discovery from behind her back. I felt bile rising in my throat. It was another Alligator Lizard; my deepest of phobias. NO! NO! WHY WOULD SHE BRING ONE IN HERE? Adia started babbling incessantly. ''Isn't he adorable, Saria? I found him in your garden. Do you like him? Maybe we could share him as a pet?'' She held the monster out to me. It opened its mouth, showing its razor sharp teeth.

I could hardly draw in breath from my lungs. I needed air! I NEEDED AIR! I began to cry like a fucking baby. The little beast flicked its disgusting, forked tongue at me. An ear-splitting, blood curdling scream escaped my lips. I trembled all over, calling desperately for my brother. ''ASSSEFFF! ASSEF, PLEASE! I NEED YOU!'' I hollered frantically. The sound of his footsteps thundered down the hall, before his figure appeared in the doorway, concern etched all over his face.

''What? What is it, Saria? What's the matter?'' he asked in a high-pitched voice, frantically rushing to my side. I could hardly speak for crying. Raising my trembling finger, I pointed it at the lizard.

''M-monster, MONSTER!'' I screamed. ''PLEASE MAKE IT GO AWAY!'' Tears saturated my face, as the colour drained from my cheeks. A worried look crossed Assef's features as he stared incredulously at the tiny Alligator Lizard. I shrank back, hyperventilating. Adia's eyes widened in confusion and terror as my brother strode towards her.

''YOU FUCKING BITCH!'' he roared. He drew back his hand and cracked her across the face, sending her reeling to the floor. As she fell, the cunt's grasp on the Alligator Lizard slackened, and the grotesque creature went flying through the air. Three fucking guesses as to where it landed.

Yup. That's right. On my arm. The lizard dug its claws into me as I flailed like a woman possessed. I staggered backwards, tripping over my own feet. My legs gave way as I collapsed onto the floor, smacking my head against the oak vanity desk on my way down. ''GET IT OFFFF! NO! NOO! ASSEF GET IT OFF ME!'' I shrieked. Assef was at my side in an instant. He dropped to his knees, grabbing my wrists. ''ASSEF! GET IT AWAY FROM ME! PLEASE BROTHER!''

My legs kicked out desperately. I seriously wanted to cut my arm off. Anything to get this _thing_ away from me. ''ASSEFF!'' I screamed hysterically. Assef leaned over me, his torso pressing against mine, restricting my movements.

''It's okay, kiddo. Shh, it's okay.'' He gently plucked the disgusting lizard off me, crossing to the open window. ''Look, Saria.'' Eyes blurry with tears, I watched my brother fling the lizard out the window. ''There we go. All gone.'' He knelt beside me, gathering me into his arms. He cradled me like a parent does a toddler, stroking my head. ''Shh, meine Schweister. It's okay. Everything's fine now, it can't hurt you anymore.''

''M-monster... Bad monster!'' I wailed, gripping the fabric of Assef's shirt. I started to dry-heave.

''The monster's gone, honey. It won't hurt you. _Nobody_ will hurt you, kiddo. Now, please, stop crying, you're gonna make yourself sick. There's a good girl, you're alright,'' he cooed, rubbing my back. I began to calm down, though I was still visibly shaken from my ordeal. Assef picked me up, carrying me over to the bed. He squatted down so we were level and held my tiny hands, gripping my fingers with reassurance.

''Shh. All better?'' he asked. I nodded, wiping my running nose with the back of my hand. ''Good,'' Assef responded, kissing my forehead gently. My head was pounding from when I had fallen earlier. Adia began to slip out the door, but the icy look Assef gave her froze her to the spot. He released his grip on my hands and stood up. With a sadistic look on his face, he fished his brass knuckles from the back pocket of his jeans.

Adia barely had time to scramble towards the door. My brother lunged for her, grabbing her by the hair and dragging her kicking and screaming along the floor. 'Don't scuff the carpet, bitch!' I thought. Assef slammed his fist into Adia's abdomen, knocking the breath out of her. ''What. the. FUCK. did you think you were doing?'' he roared, punctuating each word by slamming her head against the floor. ''Huh? ANSWER ME!''

She began to scream with pure agony, tears streaming down her face. Assef hit her repeatedly, his face contorted with pure, unbridled rage. He kicked her in the ribs, knocking the fucking stuffing out of her. Adia screamed in agony with every blow. ''How _dare_ you frighten my sister? How _dare_ you bring that disgusting thing in here?'' He backhanded her across the face, sending to the floor in a crumpled heap. ''You better start explaining yourself!''

Adia could hardly get the words out. She struggled under my brother's vice-like grip. ''I.. I didn't know! Please, I didn't know you were frightened of them. I DIDN'T!'' she pleaded frantically, trying to push my brother's hands away. Her eyes locked on mine. ''Please, PLEASE Saria! Don't let him hurt me! You said you would protect me!''

I let out a sarcastic laugh. ''You know, I wish I could, but you know how protective my brother is of me. Why didn't you think of that _before_ you decided to betray me?'' I asked, glowering at her trembling form. I could see the fear in her eyes. That intrinsic, primeval emotion which so many people often experienced when when Assef and I were around.

Assef grabbed a ribbon from my vanity desk, and wrapped it around Adia's neck. He pulled it taut. Her eyes rolled backwards as she asphyxiated. ''You'd better have a _good_ explanation for this, cunt. Your very life may depend on it.''

Adia began coughing uncontrollably. ''I DIDN'T KNOW! I DIDN'T!'' she pleaded in sheer desperation. Assef unwound the rope. He searched Adia's terrified face, looking for any truth to her words. What he found must have convinced him to believe her, because he lowered his clenched fist.

''Are you telling me the truth?'' he asked, like a parent scolding their naughty child.

She nodded frantically. ''Yes, YES!''

Assef sighed. ''Alright. Then I believe you.'' He glanced over at me. ''But we still need to have a serious talk, you and I.'' Adia once again began to grovel to me.

''Saria, please! Please help me!'' she sobbed. In a furious retaliation, Assef caught her by the throat and pinned her to the floor. He leaned in so they were nose to nose.

''You are making it very difficult for me to keep my temper, Adia,'' Assef hissed ominously. She turned her head away, tears pooling over in her eyes. ''Look at me when I'm talking to you!'' Assef forced the petrified child's head towards him. ''Now hear me and me well. You are disgusting, Adia. Worthless. You don't know how lucky you are that Saria is still willing to be your friend. Nobody else would be so forgiving. I think your little ordeal with Aarash proved that. Didn't it? DIDN'T IT?'' he growled.

She nodded forcefully, struggling to muster up the courage to do so. ''Y-yes.. Assef.. Yes..'' Adia stammered. Assef put his mouth to her ear.

''You have no idea what a violent person I can be. What I am _truly_ capable of. The lengths that I will go to to protect my sister.'' With his free hand (the one with the Knuckles) Assef gently caressed my bitch's face. ''If you ever, _ever_ betray or hurt Saria again, I promise I will do things to you that Aarash could only dream of. I will make you suffer in ways you cannot even imagine. Is this clear, Adia?''

She nodded. Assef cupped her chin. ''One more time, I'll ask you. Is that _clear_?''

''Yes, agha! Yes, c-clear!'' A dark stain appeared in the crotch of her swimsuit, leaking onto the carpet. She closed her eyes in shame, turning her head away from us.

Assef squinted menacingly at her. ''You pissed yourself. Disgusting, filthy bitch!'' he jeered. I bent over her, slapping her face hard.

''Filthy little animal!'' I mocked cruelly. We both spat on her, jeering at her misfortune. Assef released his grasp on her throat.

He stood up. ''Get up.'' Like an obedient slave, Adia gingerly struggled to her feet. ''Get dressed and leave. I don't want to see you again today. GET OUT!'' She nearly jumped out of her skin as she ran from the room. I heard the thump of her footsteps as she hurried downstairs, eager to get as far away from us as possible.

The venomous glare melted away from Assef's face as he came to sit by my side. I let myself fall into his lap, giggling like a prepubescent monkey. ''I'm glad you cheered up, kiddo'' Assef's fingers danced over my scalp as he leaned down to kiss my cheek.

''All because of you, my brother. You always make everything better, Assef jan,'' I said kindly.

''I try my best, Sar,'' he quipped. I exhaled in satisfaction at the thought of the pure fear and terror Adia was surely experiencing. Yet, this was not enough. I wanted to show her the _true_ meaning of pain. It was always my way with people.

She needed to learn just how violent and psychotic I could become when aggravated. My dear Adia needed to be taught a severe lesson. Payback would be a bitch for her, if you'll permit me to use that pun. Now was the time for vengeance.. Adia.. She had pushed me to the brink.. And now she would regret her betrayal. This I swear...


	29. I made her Bleed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria's possesive nature came into play when she learned that Aarash had been sexually abusing Adia. Her gentle nature sooned turned violent, however, when Adia mistakenly brought an alligator lizard into Saria's bedroom. After Assef viciously threatens Adia, we find that Saria is thirsty to get her own revenge....

Another tediously long school day had ended. Thank fucking God tomorrow was Friday, I doubt I could have dealt with Ahtrai and her little group of cunts for much longer. They were still teasing me, still doing their level best to make every bit of my life a living hell. Why this was I genuinely had no fucking idea. Why, in a class of at least thirty girls, did she pick me as their target? It wasn't as if I had done anything to her. Okay, yeah, I _had_ threatened her on the first day we met but that was only because she had knocked me down, and didn't have the common decency to apologise.

There has been no _fucking_ reason for the stupid cunt to pick on me! Not _one._ Ahtrai was seriously one of the most idiotic people I have ever met in my life. You wouldn't put your hand into a cage with a rabid dog, would you? No, the dog would rip your fucking arm off. That was how I felt about our relationship. Ahtrai was lucky, really, that I had kept my temper for so long. Believe me, there was many a time I thought of just slitting her throat open, as I had done with Zainab, to murder her like I had murdered Zainab, only much, _much_ worse.

The only thing stopping me was the fact that it would raise suspicion if Ahtrai were to be hurt. The mullahs in school were aware of her teasing me. I knew who the blame would fall upon. Still, I'm a very crafty person when the need arises. When the time came, (and I knew it would,) to put Ahtrai in her place, I knew that I could think up a plan relatively easy.

A light giggle escaped my lips at the thought of ripping every fucking bone from that cows body. Of using a hot poker to gouge her eyes out. Fantasizing about torture always cheered me up to no end. It was as if causing pain to other's was like smoking hashish to me. I got such a _high_ whenever I saw a person crying or screaming in agony because of mine or Assef's handiwork.

Thinking of doing such gruesome acts to little Ahtrai was almost too much for me. I broke down in a fit of hysterical giggles, slamming my hand repeatedly into the mattress as my long blonde hair fell over my face. My stomach ached as I doubled over. I was laughing so hard that I didn't even notice Papa standing in the doorway.

He cleared his throat. ''And what are you laughing at?'' he asked teasingly.

I whipped around, heart thumping in my chest. 'Fuck off, you idiotic twat!' I thought, wishing I could scream it to his face. That would be rude, though, and I had to keep up appearances.

With a perpetually false smile of childhood bliss stuck on my face, I got up and hugged my father around the waist, burying my face in the soft fabric of his pyjama shirt. He stroked the back of my blonde hair in a loving gesture. ''What's so funny, kiddo?'' Papa asked. I gritted my teeth at hearing him use Assef's nickname for me, though, of course, the retard didn't notice anything.

''I'm laughing at the thought of hurting a girl in my class,'' I said in German. Papa blinked, gave me a dubious smile.

''What?'' he asked. My father had never bothered to learn German. Mama already spoke fluent Farsi and Pashto when she met him, so there was really no need for him to learn another language.

Besides, he had never been the type to want to 'broaden his horizons' or learn new things. It just wasn't in his nature. He squinted his eyes quizzically at me. ''Now, you know I don't understand you when you speak German, Saria. What are you saying?''

As usual, I could think up a lie on the spot,'' I said that I was laughing because I'm so happy that tomorrow's Friday. Only one more day of school.'' I beamed stupidly.

Papa laughed, a loud, throaty sound that resonated deep within his belly. ''I can see why that would make you happy, sport. Don't like school do ya?'' he grinned.

I shrugged. ''Who does?'' was my response to him, rolling my eyes playfully. He ruffled my hair, which pissed me off, even if I didn't show it.

''Well, unfortunately, you still have one more school day left, Saria. You need to get yourself ready for bed.'' I was already dressed in my long pink nightgown with rosebuds adorning the sleeves. Again, I felt so fucking childish wearing it. It belonged in the trash along with all my other pieces of clothing. ''Have you cleaned your teeth?'' Papa asked. I almost rolled my eyes. What was I, a baby?

''Yes, Papa.''

''And what about your night-time prayers? Have you said those?'' he asked, hands in his pockets.

''Yes,'' I lied. In all honesty, I had never prayed a day in my life. Neither has my brother. Why would I? It's quite obvious that I don't agree with God, or his retarded teachings. Besides, I'm not giving him the power to control _my_ life! I live how I want to, thank you very much, and _nobody_ tells Saria Ahmed how to behave.

Not even a deity. Papa had become quite the religious fanatic since Fahrsan's untimely death. Perhaps that was his way of covering up the grief that he felt inside. I could give two shits either way, as long as he didn't drag me to any fucking mosques. ''Alrighty then. I'll leave you be. Goodnight, sweetheart.'' He kissed me gently on the cheek. I smiled, returning the gesture.

''Papa, what time is it?'' I asked curiously.

''It's 9:45, Saria. Too late for little girls to be up.''

'Little girl? Come on; I'm _twelve!_ ' I thought irritably. My emotions remained well hidden. I rubbed at my eyes, in a half-assed attempt to seem cute or endearing. ''Okay, Papa, you're right. I'm beat. I'll see you tomorrow.''

''See you then, baby. Sweet dreams.'' With that said, Papa quietly closed the door behind him as he left me to my own devices. I sneered and flipped the bird at the closed wooden door. 'Stupid cunt,' I thought. Why did my parents have to treat me like _such_ a _baby_? I was going to be a teenager in December of this year.

It really pissed me off when they asked stupid questions such as 'have you brushed your teeth?' or 'is your homework done?' Just because I _look_ like an eight year old, _doesn't_ mean they had the right to treat me like one. ''Fucking assholes,'' I said aloud. Luckily, nobody heard me. My back arched as I stretched, mouth opening wide in a yawn. The sooner I would settle down, the better. Leaning over, I switched off my bedside lamp. Now my room was shrouded in darkness, except for the soft glow of moonlight illuminating the shadows.

I lay back, pulling the covers up to my chin. 'Let's just get tomorrow fucking over with,' I thought to myself, as I shut my eyes. It took a lot of tossing and turning, but sleep eventually overcame me.

_I'm in the forest. The same forest I murdered Zainab in. I'm still in my nightgown, my feet still bare. 'What the fuck?' I think to myself. The wind howls loudly, making the fallen leaves rustle. I shiver; whether from cold or fear of this unknown place I genuinely have no clue. There are footsteps behind me. I turn, fists clenched, ready to hit anything or anyone_ _who dares to challenge me._

_There's nothing there. My eyes narrow in silent fury. The footsteps are getting closer. I have to run. The ground is hard, the sticks breaking under the soles of my feet. I'm probably stepping in mud too, but I don't care. I have to get away. There's something coming for me. I don't know what exactly, but it's dangerous, something that could kill me if it were to catch up with me._

_My hair falls about my eyes, obscuring my view. Branches hit against me, knocking me off kilter. ''Fuck!'' I curse loudly. My feet are aching, I'll have blisters after this. Yet, I must continue to run, no sense of purpose or direction. All I know is that I have to get out of here, no matter what._ _I don't know far I've run, but it must be about ten minutes when I feel something brush up against my toes. 'Probably just a bug or something,' I tell myself, looking down. My eyes widen in pure horror as I spy a tiny alligator lizard crawling across my foot. I kick out, desperate to get this beast away from me._

_It continues to nibble at my toes. I scream loudly, overbalance, and topple backwards. My head makes a sickening crunch as it slams against the ground. It is with sheer terror in my heart that I notice the hundreds of alligator lizards crawling from beneath the underground. ''No! NOOO!'' I scream, hands frantically grabbing at sticks, rocks,_ anything _I can find to chuck at them._

_But to no avail. I barely have time to scream before the little monsters are crawling all over me, their razor sharp teeth biting every inch of me they can find. I start to cry out, trying my best to call for help, but they're in my mouth now. ''Poor little Saria.'' A voice mocks. I look up to see Aarash looming over me, holding a large bucket over his head. I don't have to look inside to know what it contains._

_''Please, please, NO!'' I beg. Aarash gives a sadistic chuckle as he pours yet more lizards on my face. ''NOOOO! GET THEM AWAY FROM ME!'' I scream, thrashing. Aarash's eyes are bright, excited. He's enjoying my fear. I shut my eyes tight, feeling bile rise in my throat. Something is clawing at me._

_It's in my hair, I can feel it. Another lizard. ''No, go away, leave me alone, no, God, please stop, monsters!'' I begin thrashing, legs and arms flailing, kicking in a futile effort to get these things away from me._

_''Saria?'' a voice asks. It's probably Aarash, ridiculing me once again. I don't answer. ''Saria, it's okay, kiddo, you're just having a nightmare, you're safe.'' They say. I feel something gently stroking the back of my head._

_''No, no,'' I plead with them, feeling too scared to push them away._

_''Saria, kiddo, wake up, please. It's just me, just Assef, come on, everything's fine.''_

''Assef?'' My eyes flickered open. I looked up to see my dear brother sitting on the edge of the bed, eyes full of concern, his fingers gently stroking my hair.

''You were having a nightmare,'' he told me. ''I came back from the toilet and I could hear you whimpering.''

My entire body shook as I burst into floods of tears. ''The monsters, the m-monsters are here. They're gonna come back and hurt me again.'' I wailed pitifully. What a sight I must have been. It would be hard for anyone to believe I was a sociopath in this moment. Assef gave me a sympathetic look, pulled back the covers, and slid into bed next to me. He wrapped his arms round me in a protective gesture as I sobbed desperately, face pressed against his chest.

''Shh, kiddo, it's okay. It's okay,'' he cooed gently, trying his best to console me.

''Assef, there are monsters, a-and they... They want to hurt me,'' I moaned. Assef rubbed my back.

''No, Saria, there's no monsters. I promise. I'll never let anything hurt you, sister, okay? I swear on my life,'' my brother promised me, with strong conviction in his voice.

''I'm scared.''

Assef ran his fingers through my scalp, gently kissing my forehead. ''There's no need to be scared, kiddo, I promise. There's nothing bad here.''

''Aarash...'' I told him. ''In my d-dream, he poured the l-lizards on my face.'' Assef swore loudly, gritting his teeth. The sharp, vicious tone in his voice made me jump. I guess I was still on edge.

''How long?'' he barked.

I shivered. ''How long what?'' I asked.

''How long have you been having these nightmares? About Aarash?'' he snarled the name, his grip on me so tight it was almost painful.

''About a week after it happened. They come and go. Please don't get mad, Assef, I don't like it.''

My brother clicked his tongue, gently rubbing circles into my back. ''I'm sorry, Saria. It's not you I'm angry with. I don't mean to frighten you.'' Assef moved slightly. 'He's going to leave,' I thought in a panic, grabbing his t-shirt in a desperate and frantic attempt to make him stay.

''No, stay, please, I don't want to be alone,'' I cried.

My brother hugged me close, rocking me as I sobbed. ''I'm here, kiddo, I'm not going anywhere. Shhh, come on now, stop crying, everything's fine.''

''What time is it?'' I managed to get out between my frantic gulps for air.

''Very late or very early, depending on how you'd look at it,'' Assef said.

''Okay, uh, will you talk to me until I fall asleep?'' I asked, feeling stupid for it afterwards. It seemed like the type of question a four year old would ask. Assef didn't seem to mind, though.

''Of course I will, kiddo. What do you want to talk about?''

I racked my brain, trying to come up with a topic. An unnerving thought suddenly entered my psyche. ''Assef?'' I asked, cocking my head up at my brother.

''Yeah, Sar?''

''Remember how Adia said that she found the lizard in our garden. What if there are more of them in there?'' This was becoming a very real concern of mine, childish as it may seem.

''If there are, well, I'll kill every single one of them. I promise. Don't worry about that, kiddo.'' As usual, he'd made me feel ten times better without even trying. That was just the sibling bond we had, I guess.

''Okay.'' I decided to bring the conversation onto happier things. ''Do you think Hassan still remembers us?'' I asked.

''I don't see why not, kiddo, I mean, you don't take something like rape and just forget about it.'' There was a light, joyful tone in Assef's voice as he reminisced with me. The suffering of a Hazara always managed to cheer me up.

''I hope he feels so bad that he commits suicide,'' I said truthfully.

Assef laughed heartily, pressing a kiss to the side of my head. ''I hope so too. Actually, I don't care how that flat-nose dies, just so long as it's fucking agony for him.'' We both shared a laugh at such cruel thoughts.

''I wish I could jab a pin in his eyes!'' I exclaimed joyfully. Of course, it should be quite clear what language my brother and I were speaking in. I stifled a yawn, arms wrapped round Assef's waist. He tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear, gently kissing my cheek. You see, we're not monsters, are we?

It was becoming quite a struggle for me to keep my eyes open. They grew heavier and more listless with each passing second. Assef didn't fail to notice my drowsiness, moving ever so slightly, to make room for us both. This was only a single bed, not meant for two people. ''M'tired,'' I grumbled.

''Okay, kiddo, you go to sleep. I'm here.''

I looked at him through blurry eyes. ''T-thank you for staying with me,'' I said as I closed my eyes, feeling the horror of that nightmare drift away.

''You're welcome, I love you, kiddo,'' Assef said kindly.

''Love you too,'' I replied, feeling my body go limp as I once again drifted off into slumber...

Friday morning came sooner than I anticipated, and I woke to find myself alone in the room, with only a hand written note for company. My eyes squinted in the dark as I tried to read it.

'Saria, it's about 7:00. I went to get dressed. Hope you're feeling better, kiddo. I'll meet you downstairs at 8:00 to bring you to school. Assef.' Groaning loudly, I switched on the lamp, and knelt upright to look at the clock on the wall above me. '7:25,' it read. I swore aloud with the realization that I only had thirty five minutes to get dressed and meet Assef downstairs.

'Fuck, why did you have to oversleep?' I cursed myself, punching the bed in frustration. There really was no time for me to beat around the bush, as the saying goes. With a loud groan of protest, I swung my body around, gently placing my feet on the carpet, giggling as the soft, dense fabric tickled between my toes. Hamilra had long since given it a thorough clean after Adia pissed herself on it.

Disgusting little bitch. How disrespectful of her. I still avoided that spot, even two weeks later, especially when I didn't have anything covering my feet. Walking around the bed, I made my way to the large, oak wardrobe. 'Here we fucking go _again!_ ' I thought in pure frustration as I swung open the doors, almost leaving a dent in the fucking wall.

Just once, I would like to choose something to wear and _not_ feel like a retard! My eyes scoured the many varieties of childish dresses and pinafores, looking for something that not only screamed innocence, but also didn't look as though I had stolen it from a toddler's wardrobe. Very fucking difficult. I _hated_ the fact that I had to look innocent. About five minutes passed before I eventually selected a dress to wear. It was light purple in colour, with mid-length sleeves, a skirt that reached just below my knees, and a large ribbon at the back.

It was hideous, yeah, but under the circumstances it would have to do. As I unbuttoned my nightgown, my fingers tentatively brushed against the scar on my neck. That fucking Aarash. His very name was almost taboo. Thanks to him, I'd be stuck with this ugly scar for the rest of my life. My hopes of ever finding a man to love me were seriously dwindling. Who in their right mind would marry a girl who not only looks physically repulsive, but who also cannot bear a child to carry on his legacy?

'No wonder Amir didn't want you. Stupid, ugly _bitch!_ ' I tugged at my hair, tears welling up in my eyes. Self cruelty wasn't anything new to me, of course. The nightgown made no sound as it flopped onto the carpet. I pulled the gross looking dress over my head, yanking it down with much vigour.

My tiny, nimble fingers struggled with the zipper at the back. ''So fucking annoying! UGH!'' I growled loudly. The dress hung against my skinny legs. I hurriedly did up the ribbon, pulling it taut. Looking at the clock, I noticed that it was now 7:45 AM. Another fifteen minutes until I had to go.

Do I even need to say how much I _hated_ going to fucking school? I put on some white socks that had lace around the edges. So fucking adorable. I put on my black shoes. As I brushed my tangled hair, I couldn't help but think about my bitch, Adia. In the past fortnight, her fear of me had become even more apparent.

She knew now who had control of her fate. I was a time bomb, one who could explode in rage at any given time. No warning. Yet, I felt that Adia still hadn't paid her full dues for her betrayal. _Nobody_ turns their back on Saria Ahmed and gets away with it. By letting Adia's behaviour go unpunished, I felt that I would not be doing myself the proper justice. 'Someday I'll make that little cunt pay,' I thought with conviction in my heart. I secured a ribbon into my hair, admiring my reflection in the floor length mirror.

''Looking good,'' I told myself. Slipping on a light blue cardigan, I bounced happily out of my room and down the stairs.

There was a role that I had to undertake to the best of my abilities. Sweet, benevolent little Saria. The girl with the pure heart, the unfathomable kindness. Isn't being manipulative one of a psychopath's many talents? I didn't even bother to get any breakfast for myself as I hurried into the living room where Assef sat waiting, perched on the edge of the huge cream sofa, his fingers drumming absent-mindedly against his trouser leg.

''Hello,'' I said, embracing him around the waist. His face broke out into a grin, as he ruffled my hair, one of the _many_ things I would only ever allow him to do without getting annoyed.

''Heya, kiddo. Sleep well?''

I nodded. ''Yeah. Thanks for staying last night. It's good to know I have someone to care for me.''

''Anytime, Saria. You know that.'' Assef extended a hand to me. ''Ready to go?'' he asked. I nodded, slipping my hand in his, feeling the reassurance of his fingers squeezing mine. Assef slipped the house key into his pocket, before grabbing his precious brass knuckles and shoving them into the front pocket of his bag.

He was inseparable from them, after all. With this done, we left the house, slamming the door shut with a bang. It was a frigid day in late October, 1974. There was a definite chill in the morning air, and some frost had already begun to develop on the neighbour's cars. In about a week it would be the end of the month. Halloween, I think, is the American holiday.

For me, and so many other Kabuli children, it spelled the end of another school year, and the start of three months winter holidays. 'God, I should have worn a fucking coat, I'm freezing,' I thought. Assef drew me in close, vigorously rubbing my arms to keep me warm. He was always looking out for my welfare. So kind of him.

''Are Mama and Papa working?'' I asked.

''Yeah,'' my brother nodded. ''They'll be out until about one so they'll be home by the time you and I finish school,'' he explained. As we neared our favourite cafe, I spied Belourine, the bubbly, chatty owner, watching us. I turned and gave her a smile, waving.

''Stupid cunt,'' I said in German.

Assef snorted. ''Let's hurry up before she gets any ideas about coming over to say hello,'' he spoke in hushed tones, ushering me past the cafe. My eyes narrowed as I took another glance at Belourine's dwindling form. I swear, people like her are _so_ hard for me to connect with or tolerate on _any_ level.

I began to feel slightly nervous as the huge wrought iron gates came into view. I always felt nervous going to school, knowing I could expect more teasing and cruelty from my fellow students. Just my fucking luck, I guess. What I really wanted to do now was run as fast as humanely possible in the opposite direction. I slowed my walking to a snail's pace, kicking up puffs of dust.

Assef squeezed my hand in reassurance. Within a few short moments, I found myself standing outside the gates. ''I'll see you later, kiddo. Have a good day,'' he said, kissing my cheek gently. Biting my lip, I trudged my way across the playground. I beamed at Assef, watching him stroll away, hands in his pockets. I would miss him for these next few hours.

I watched the little girls thunder past me, laughing excitedly about something idiotic. Their over exuberance never failed to piss me off. I was the most reserved person at this school. As I strolled casually along the playground, I couldn't help but notice a group of little brats surrounding a young child of about eleven. They had her cornered, her back pressed against the wall.

Her body trembled as they slapped at her face and arms. ''Please leave me alone,'' she begged. I knew that voice! That was Adia, my little bitch! Three fucking guesses as to who was teasing her. 'Here we fucking go again,' I thought. Ahtrai's cruel laughter grew louder as I hurried my way over.

Did nobody have respect for others property anymore? I felt myself shaking from rage. The stupid cunt didn't even take heed of my approaching footsteps, her eyes were focused on a sobbing Adia. My poor little bitch, I genuinely did feel sympathy for her. As I said before, I am the _only_ person who had the right to make Adia feel inferior, to cause her pain. Well, me and Assef, I mean.

Like a deadly cobra, I grabbed Ahtrai's shoulder and whirled her around to face me. ''Well, look who it is. Saria, come to help her gay lover,'' she teased, with a vindictive edge to her voice.

I hissed, feeling the rage bubbling inside me. ''Just what the hell do you think you're doing, Ahtrai?'' I asked in my calmest, yet deadliest voice.

She barked a laugh. ''Oh, I'm just hanging out with little Adi here.'' I noticed Adia tense slightly. Of course she would, hearing Aarash's nickname for her. It must have brought those memories back. Aarash had a _lot_ to answer for. I stood protectively in front of Adia, spreading my arms out to stop the girls around me from hurting my bitch

Ahtrai had no reason to suspect that Adia or myself had suffered at the hands of the psychopath Aarash. Her teasing continued. I could hear the sarcasm dripping from her voice. ''Aww, isn't that sweet, girls? Saria's trying to fight us.''

''We should beat them both up!'' exclaimed one twelve-year-old brat. She was a good few inches taller than I was, despite the fact that she was my age. As are most fucking people. Adia struggled to her feet, eyes never leaving my trembling form. She cowered back against the wall, now more afraid of me than anybody else here.

I rounded on the brat who had dared to challenge me. ''Beat me up, you little bitch? I'd to see you _try_!'' I snarled, my eyes narrowing as I strode towards her, fist raised. ''Who gave you the right to start teasing my friend? Huh?'' I glowered at Ahtrai, my eyes locked unwaveringly on hers.

''Let me make this _very_ clear to all of you. I will _not_ stand idly by while you bully Adia. You have _no_ idea what a violent and disturbed person I can be, the horrors of what I am truly capable of. If any _one_ of you little brats dares to lay even a finger on Adia, you'll be worm food before the day is out. And that's not a threat, it's a promise.'' I exhaled deeply, keeping my eyes ahead.

The same cocky twelve year old who had threatened me earlier now spoke up once more. ''You can't speak to us like that. I'm telling Mullah Fahsir Khan,'' she whined.

I laughed, jabbing my finger in her face. ''Oh, really? And while you're there, why don't you tell him about what you were doing? About how I found you bullying a shy little girl who's a year younger than you, hmm? Gonna tell Mullah Fahsir Khan about _that_?'' I asked sarcastically.

Ahtrai retaliated quickly, giving me a forceful shove backwards. With my attention focused on her little bitch friend, I wasn't prepared for her attack. I staggered backwards, toppling over and landing with a loud SMACK on the hard ground. I winced as my head collided with a large rock below me. ''Fuck!'' I swore. Tentatively, I pressed my fingers to the back of my skull. No blood. Fortunately for everyone involved. I lay there, feeling too stunned, too upset to move. Ahtrai cackled along with her friends, stepping right over me like I was just some piece of dust on the ground.

I struggled to my feet, heart thumping one hundred miles per hour. Adia remained curled in a fearful little ball. 'Stupid little cunt, it's her fault. _Everything_ is her fault!' I thought irately, clenching and unclenching my fists in a desperate attempt to calm my ever rising temper. I needed to use the human punching bag in front of me.

Fixing Adia the most terrifying glare I could muster, I raised my hand and cracked her across the face. Hard. She jerked backward with a little yelp of surprise. ''It's getting very fucking annoying for me to always be running to your rescue, Adia. You'll have to be more careful, won't you? You wouldn't want me to be hurt, right?'' Her eyes filled with tears as she shook her head so vigorously I thought she might get whiplash. That would have been fucking hilarious.

''N-no, Saria, I d don't want you to g-get hurt, I'm sorry. I'll be more careful. Please don't hit me,'' she babbled, inching further away from me, her entire body shaking.

''Whatever. Don't bother me again.'' I stuck my nose up, turned on my heel and stalked into the classroom. 'That'll show her,' I told myself. The sound of childish laughter filled my ears as I searched for a place to sit. My bag's straps dug painfully into my shoulders and I was positive it would leave a mark or two later this evening. Where do I sit? Hmm. Decisions, decisions.

I placed a finger to my lips as I pondered this fact. My wandering eyes soon fell on Delbar, head buried in a textbook, studious as usual. The poor thing didn't have anyone beside her. Delbar's head snapped up as I walked towards her. She fidgeted with the hem of her brown skirt, eyes nervously scanning the room for anywhere else she might be able to sit, before they eventually came to rest on my smiling face. '

'Why hello, Delbar, mind if I sit next to you?'' The sugary tone in my voice was laced with authority, something that didn't fail to go amiss. Delbar hurriedly pushed her book to one side. She was such a good little dog. I took my seat beside her, placing my books and pencils on the table. With a light grin of childish joy, I slung my arm round Delbar's shoulder, poking her in the nose.

''Hi,'' I giggled. ''And how are you today, my dear?'' I asked, wanting to keep her on my side, to butter her up for when she would eventually become mine. Delbar hesitated, not knowing what to make of my sweet demeanour.

''I'm fine thank you, Saria, h-how are you?'' she asked. Delbar was a very smart little girl. She knew how quickly I could fly into a rage.

''Oh, I'm very well thank you, Delbar jan,'' I said, opening my _Rumi_ book and scanning the last poem we'd been looking at. ''I hope Mullah Fahsir Khan doesn't give us any tests,'' I whispered to Delbar. She grunted in response. The little girl was my property, as far as I was concerned. Just like Adia.

'Speak of the devil,' I thought as my bitch entered the room. She looked around her, trying to find a place to sit. There was a space right beside me, and so, I was rather shocked when Adia nervously made her way over to a table in the furthest corner away from me. Some fucking nerve!

After I had just defended her only minutes previously? I felt my body tense up. How _dare_ she brush me off like that? Who the fuck did she think she was? Adia was _very_ lucky this was a crowded room, because I seriously wanted to punch her fucking lights out. I knew this was out of the question, though.

How would it look of Mullah Fahsir Khan were to see me breaking sweet little Adia's jaw? I knew there would be time for vengeance sooner or later. My attentions were focused on the Mullah, as he leaned down over me, hands pressed against the wooden desk. ''Am I boring you, Miss Ahmed?'' He asked. I looked up to see my classmates gaping in my direction.

I lowered my eyes, the perfect image of obedience. ''I apologize. Just zoned out.''

''Please pay attention, Saria,'' he reprimanded sternly. Easier said than done, really. My attentions were totally focused on Adia. The little bitch couldn't keep her eyes off me. She was trying to read my face, to see if she could find any traces of the beast lurking within. I remained stoic as I lifted a hand, waving sweetly. Adia bit her lip, gulping. Stupid bitch. How dare she brush me off?

After I had so graciously ''forgiven'' her betrayal, had vowed to protect her from Aarash. My nostrils flared. ''Idiotic bimbo,'' I snarled in German. Adia began fiddling with the collar of her buttoned up white shirt. The bruise Aarash gave her was faded and yellowing. I thought about what she'd told me, about how Aarash had ''touched'' her.

A tiny part of me did feel some level of empathy. I knew first hand just what a lunatic Aarash could be. Still, that did _not_ mean I would allow my bitch's treason to go unpunished. Like a true manipulator, I wanted to find ways to use her weakness against her. To make sure the eleven year old _never_ turned her back on me again. The remaining hours whittled away tediously, without any more incidents. Nothing I really care to write about, anyway. Like every child, my heart soared upon hearing the end of school bell. The shrill noise that marked the beginning of two days rest. I clapped my hands in glee.

'Thank fucking God!' I thought, rubbing my palms together. There was a loud, collective screech as we pushed our chairs back. Delbar sighed deeply, closing her book and putting it into her rucksack. I could tell she was itching to get away from me. Ha, like that would ever happen! She would never escape me, not until her death. Which, if she were lucky, would not be at my hands.

My gaze never left hers. I absent-mindedly packed my bag, humming an old German song to myself. I couldn't fucking _wait_ to get away from this hellhole, to see my brother again. This may sound childish, but I honestly did miss Assef during school hours. Being surrounded by idiots for seven fucking hours really drained my energy. I looked forward to being with the only person who really understood me.

I squeezed Delbar's arm gently, letting her know that I was on her side, that I was her friend. She had to come to me willingly. It would make the moment I claimed her sweeter. ''Have a nice day, jan. Maybe see you over the weekend?'' I asked hopefully. She nodded, backing away slowly, hands raised.

''Yeah. Maybe.'' Delbar stumbled over herself in the rush to leave. I flung my bag onto my shoulders, ensuring I hit my newest bitch in the ribs as I did so.

''Bye, you ugly cunt,'' I said in German. She bowed her head, scurrying out the door like a fearful mouse. Tormenting someone weaker than I always lifted my spirits. Mullah Fahsir Khan politely held the door open for me. ''Thank you kindly.'' I bowed my knees.

''You're welcome, Saria. Have a good weekend, inshallah.''

''You too,'' was my reply. I skipped down the hall, the picture of childhood bliss. A few girls sniggered at me, but I paid them no mind. To what purpose would it serve me if I got aggravated? The loud clacking of shoes against the marble tiling let me know that somebody was fast hurrying towards me.

I turned my head back to see my bitch sprinting my way. 'Oh, so _now_ she wants to see me?' I thought. I decided I would simply give her the cold shoulder, as she had been doing to me all day. Let her sweat. Make her think I was angry with her. Adia trotted up beside me. ''Hi, Saria. Hi!'' she chirped. I rolled my eyes and blatantly ignored the ugly cunt as I walked out the doors.

Adia cocked her head a little. ''Um, Saria?'' She clearly didn't like being ignored. The fear of waiting for me to strike was overwhelming. I spotted Assef waiting up ahead. He gave me a huge smile and wave, his eyes lighting up. We took such great joy in each other's presence. Adia was a constant thorn in my side, vying for my attention.

I stared ahead, not even looking at her. There was ice just beginning to form on the steps, and I had to be extra careful so I wouldn't slip and break anything. I remember when I was a babbling one year old toddler and Assef was six, we'd been playing chase on the driveway. Assef had skidded on a patch of black ice, fallen over and ended up in Accident and Emergency with a broken leg.

Ice could be treacherous, so precautions _had_ to be taken. Luckily I made it down the steps without any mishaps. I broke into a run, hair flying in all directions, laughing happily. I barrelled straight into my brother, squeezing him tightly around the midriff. He gave a little gasp of surprise. ''Why hello there, kiddo. Nice to see you too,'' he chuckled.

''Missed you,'' I told him.

Assef smiled, taking my little hand in his own. ''I missed you too.'' We both strolled casually out the school gates together. ''So, how was your day? Anybody give you a hard time?'' Assef asked.

''Well, this morning I saw Ahtrai making fun of Adia. I went over to stand up for her, and then Ahtrai and her friends ganged up on me and knocked me to the ground,'' I muttered.

Assef swore loudly, balling his free hand up into a fist. ''Does Ahtrai have some type of death wish?'' His words confirmed what I had always thought.

''Quite possibly. I'm not letting her get to me any more. She'll get what's coming to her in due time.'' Assef nodded in agreement. We made the journey home in record time, and my cheerful demeanour fell slightly when I noticed Papa's car sitting in the driveway. ''Fuck. I wanted to spend the afternoon just with you,'' I complained to my brother.

''Hopefully it won't be too bad. Maybe they'll leave us alone.'' I doubted this would be the case. Seriously, if I could I'd crack both my parents skulls wide open. I don't need them. I don't _care_ for them. They were just pawns, just worthless pieces of dog crap in my eyes.

Mama was already standing on the doorstep, her arms open wide, just waiting for me to come and embrace her. I did so grudgingly. ''There's my gorgeous little girl. Aww, hello, pumpkin. How was your day?''

I lied to her, as I had been doing most of my life. ''Fine, Mama. No problems or anything.'' She cuddled up to me as we entered the hall.

Assef trailed close behind, kicking the door shut. Mama snorted indignantly at the damage that would probably be done to the woodwork but she was intelligent enough not to say anything. I heard my father's obnoxious laughter as he came out of the kitchen to greet us. ''Papa!'' I exclaimed, running to hug his waist.

The cheap smell of detergent filled my nostrils as I pressed my face against his mustard coloured shirt. ''Hello, baby,'' he said, kissing my head. ''And hello, son.'' He gestured to my brother.

''Afternoon, Father,'' Assef replied politely.

Papa looked down at me. ''Do you have any homework to do?'' he asked in a stern tone. I suddenly remembered the pages of arithmetic I had to complete before tomorrow. 'Fuck sake,' I thought, annoyed.

I nodded sadly. ''Yes. I'll go and do it right away.''

I turned on my heel and bounded up the stairs, putting on a show of the diligent, studious child. ''Fucking shit,'' I cursed as I tossed my bag into the corner, massaging my aching shoulders. Nobody likes homework, and I was no exception. Still, what could I do about it? It wasn't as if these were particularly hard questions anyway. I pride myself on being the most intelligent girl in that school.

Not difficult, considering I'm surrounded by fucking Neanderthals. My slave had graciously left a glass of milk on the desk. I would pour it down the sink later; no way am I drinking or eating _anything_ that Hamilra gives me. After some rooting in my bag, I found my copybook. I opened the corresponding page in the book and began pencilling out sums.

As is usually the case, my thoughts began to drift. I could never keep my focus, it just wasn't in my nature. I ran my hands over my face, touching the bump on my nose where Aarash had punched me. He was probably using Assef's brass knuckles at the time. I felt so ugly whenever I looked at myself. So grotesque.

''Stupid Aarash. Stupid fucking cunt,'' I muttered, kicking the leg of the desk in fury. With Assef's help, I was _determined_ to see justice done. Nobody got away with harassing me, it just wasn't done. I wiped my eyes, noting the moisture on my hand. ''I'll study this crap later,'' I said, throwing my books on the floor.

A loud knocking on the front door startled me. 'Now who could that be?' They were very fucking persistent. I opened my bedroom door slightly, wanting to eavesdrop. Maybe it's my anxious nature but I _always_ felt on edge whenever someone called up. I couldn't shake the feeling that these were police, ready to arrest me for Zainab's murder. The high pitched sound of Mama's giggles told me this was not the case.

''Who the fuck could this be?'' I mused aloud. My parents conversed happily with their guests in Farsi. Unfortunately, my bitch of a mother wanted me downstairs as well. I'd much rather stay in my room, but noo..

''Saria! Saria, can you come down, honey? There's someone here to see you.''

''Yes, Mama. I'll be right down.'' Grumbling, I sauntered out into the hall. 'No way!' I thought when I spied Adia, Faraya and Javid. They were beaming as I trundled downstairs, my own grin never leaving my face. The fear in Adia's eyes was clear as day. Panic set in. Did my bitch squeal on me?

Inwardly, my thoughts began to race, yet, outside I remained calm and demure. ''Salaam, Adia jan, Javid agha, Faraya khanom.'' I bowed my knees, extending the hem of my pinafore. Faraya simpered, her eyes glowing.

''Hello, Saria,'' Javid replied, shaking my tiny hand. I went to stand next to Assef, resting my head against his legs. He put his arm round my shoulder in a protective gesture. Adia hung back, eyes nervous flitting back and forth from me to Assef. Javid directed the conversation to my father.

''I know it's rude to ask on such short notice, but well, thing is, Faraya jan and I have booked ourselves a romantic suite for the night.''

''How lovely!'' Mama gushed.

''Yes, but, the problem is we can't seem to find anyone to look after Adia jan for the night.'' Adia poked her head out from behind Javid's legs. It took every inch of my willpower not to spit in her face! Faraya shifted from one foot to another. She pursed her lips, clearly embarrassed by this request. Like I gave a shit.

The shame of another person made my heart soar. ''Uh, another thing, sorry, but Adia jan refuses to sleep anywhere but at home. Ever since...'' she trailed off, eyes misting over. ''Ever since Masood died, she's refused to leave home at night.''

Ha! I almost pissed myself with laughter. Stupid fucking cunt! Faraya hugged Adia tightly. Mother and daughter were so close. The little cow looked ashamed that her fears had been laid bare. I was determined to use it against her.

Assef spoke up. ''I can look after her,'' he offered. ''If you want, I could go up to your house to babysit Adia jan.'' He gave his most charming smile. Adia shuddered, though it went unnoticed by the grown ups in the room.

''Well, alright. Thank you so much, Assef. You're a real lifeline.'' Javid was adamant in thanking him.

''It's no bother. And, if you agree, I'd like to bring Saria with me. It would be good for little Adia to have some company.'' My dear older brother is a truly skilled manipulator. It didn't take long for Adia's parents to agree to his request. I gaped at him, confused. Usually I could read him like an open book. Today was different, however. I raised my eyebrow, looking up at him.

''I'll tell you why later. Trust in me,'' Assef whispered in German. ''We'll come up at 4:00 PM today. See you then.''

''See you then, Adia.'' I bounded forward, seizing her in a loose embrace. ''We're going to have _so_ much fun!'' She didn't fail to notice my grave threat. Adia swallowed bile, grinding her teeth. Her worst nightmares were coming to stay.

''Come on upstairs, kiddo. I'll help you finish your sums.'' Assef took my hand, leading me upstairs. We entered my room, and I flopped back onto the newly made up bedcovers. Assef sat next to me, gathering me into his arms. ''You can get revenge tonight, kiddo. Just think; we'll be alone with her. Let's make her pay for what she did to you.''

I giggled, nuzzling my nose against his cheek. Tears of joy welled up in my eyes. ''Thank you, Assef, THANK YOU! THANK YOU!'' I screeched. Wonderful fantasies began to fill my thoughts. Oh, how could I make the bitch _pay_ for what she had done? I hugged my brother's neck, jumping up and down on his knee.

I loved him so much, he was always doing his best to help me, especially in revenge. I let out a high pitched whoop of delight, giggling to myself. The front door clicked shut; Adia was gone. I honestly couldn't wait to see her tonight. The little twat was going to see _exactly_ what happened to people who disobey Saria Ahmed. I just couldn't wait until 4:00 PM. I'd have gone over there right away if I could. Patience is not a strong point of mine.

''Want help with your study?'' Assef gestured to my bag, which lay in a crumpled heap against the wall.

I shook my head. ''No, I'll do it later.''

He nodded in understanding. ''Alright.'' Looking up at the clock, I seen that it was now 2:45. Ugh. Why must I wait?

''I'd go over there right now, you know. I wanna see her bleed.''

''Soon, kiddo, soon. Do you know what you're going to do?'' my brother asked curiously. I held up my trusty lighter, laughing. Assef grinned.

''At least there won't be a repeat of last time you stayed in Adia's house,'' he said.

''Of course not, _you're_ not going to make me wear bunny pyjamas, are you?'' Assef paused, a finger to his lips.

''Hmm, I dunno, you would look adorable in them.''

''Shut up!'' I yelled in false indignation, slapping him playfully on the arm. In retaliation, he jabbed at my ticklish ribs while I squirmed like a fish on a line. We both smiled at each other, just enjoying the company. Papa _insisted_ on driving us to Adia's, even though she only lived five or ten minutes away. What did I say? _Always_ treating me like a baby. It really got on my nerves.

The tyres screeched loudly as we slowed to a halt outside the driveway. ''Assef, go in to Adia. I want to have a talk with your sister.'' Assef nodded, opening the passenger door. ''See ya in five, kiddo.'' He trudged up the snow covered driveway towards the house. Papa focused on me, his eyes boring into my very soul.

''I do _not_ want a repeat of the last sleepover. You are to be respectful, polite, and to do as your brother says. He's in charge tonight.''

'No,' I thought smugly. 'We're _both_ in charge tonight!'

''Your bedtime is 10:00 PM. No exceptions. Do you understand this?''

I nodded slowly. ''Yes, Papa. I'll behave. I promise.''

He regarded me for a second. ''Alright. Okay, have fun.''

I hopped out of the car and raced towards the open door, my rucksack bouncing on my back. I had stowed my lighter away in the front pocket. What I used it for tonight was something I had never done before. That is for me to write about later in this entry. Adia smiled at me. I gathered her up into a loose embrace, twirling around.

That, I believe, was one of the things Adia feared about me. I could go from being sweet to psychotic in a millisecond. Right now, I felt like being the former. ''You and me, I can tell you now, are going to have the best time!'' I exclaimed, kissing her cheek.

''Come on inside, girls,'' Assef beckoned. ''Saria, why don't you put your stuff down in Adia's room. Okay?'' I nodded.

''Mommy made me clean it up before you came,'' Adia said, leading the way.

''Good,'' I replied. She opened the door, giving me access to her spic-and-span bedroom. I lay down on the bed, arms open wide. ''I'll unpack my shit later,'' I told her. She looked as though she wanted to chastise me for using naughty language, but thought better of it. Adia hugged her arms round her waist, eyes lowered.

My focus was suddenly drawn to a large china doll sitting on her bedside locker. It looked to be around eight years old, the red pinafore was fading ever so slightly. Adia noticed me looking and hugged the doll against herself. ''Masood bought this for my second birthday. I've had it ever since.'' Her eyes glazed over.

''Sometimes, when I'm lonely or scared, I take her into bed with me. Cause whenever I had a nightmare, Masood used to sleep next to me, to chase the monsters away.'' How sweet. Her relationship with her now dead brother struck a chord with me. Not all that different from me and Assef. Little did Masood ever know there was one monster he'd failed to protect his sister from. I thought about where her new lighter was, but was smart enough not to ask. She'd probably thrown it out.

I caught her in a bone crushing embrace, squeezing her so tight she gasped for air. ''Wanna play hide and seek? You hide and I'll seek?'' she asked. I nodded, deciding to humor her.

''Okie dokie.'' I made to get up, but a tiny hand upon my own stopped me in my tracks.

''Saria, please don't go into Masood's room,'' she instructed me. ''Mommy and Daddy say it's out of bounds.'' I nodded, the gears in my brain already working overtime.

''Promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.'' I turned and skipped out of the room. I could hear Adia counting to 100. Where do I hide? This was such a childish game, yet I wanted to amuse my bitch. There would be plenty of time for her to play _my_ games! My wandering feet soon found themselves in Faraya and Javid's bedroom.

There was a huge, white coloured wardrobe, perfect for a tiny child like myself to hide inside. I opened the doors and crawled in, resting my head on my knees. Now I waited. After close to fifteen minutes, I heard footsteps methodically pacing the floorboards. 'About fucking _time_!' I thought. Expecting it to be Adia.

Imagine both mine and Assef's surprise when he flung open the doors, ready to chuck his overnight bag inside. ''What in God's name...? Care to explain yourself, kiddo?'' he asked incredulously, raising an eyebrow.

I giggled. ''We're playing hide and seek.''

Adia poked her nose around the corner. ''Found you!'' she called triumphantly. I groaned loudly as I emerged. ''Ugh! Alright, you got me!'' I held my hands up in a gesture of defeat. My brother tossed his bags into the cupboard, it landed with a thud at the back. Adia seemed in good spirits, but she was reserved, still fearful of me.

I knew she would not forget how Assef violently threatened her two weeks ago. The feeling of his fists on her stomach. One does not forget such a troubling night. ''I've cooked some Aushak for you girls. Wanna come on down at eat?''

Mama had taught us both how to cook during our youth and both Assef and I knew how to cook a delicious meal, better than anything a Hazara could make in any case. ''Good, cause I'm fucking _starved_!'' I said.

''Me too, my tummy's all rumbly,'' Adia spoke innocently. We went downstairs and my brother server up two piping hot plates of delicious Aushak. It was a typical Afghan ravioli type dish. Tantalising smells wafted through the air. I inhaled.

''Thank you.'' I licked my lips.

''You're very welcome, kiddo. Do you want salt or anything?''

''No, thank you,'' I said politely.

Adia spoke up. ''You know, one time my daddy cut his fingers and while he was eating he got salt in the wound. Apparently when you put salt in a cut it hurts real bad.'' My eyes shone. Thank you, fucking bitch! A plan was already beginning to form. I could see that knowing look in Assef's eyes.

Funny how we always knew what the other was thinking. I clasped my hands under my chin as though in prayer. Adia was too stupid to even notice. Ignorance would truly be her downfall. Adia wolfed down another helping of Aushak, sauce dribbling down her front. I crinkled my nose. Who the fuck taught her manners? Was she raised by a pack of wolves or _what_? After she had finished, she held the plate up to my brother, as though expecting him to take it from her.

''Put it in the sink,'' Assef ordered.

She obeyed him like the good dog she is. ''Adia jan, can you go upstairs, and wait for us in the hall?'' I asked politely. She nodded. I heard the clicking of her shoes up the wooden staircase.

Assef pushed the salt towards me, grinning broadly. ''Thinking what I'm thinking?''

I secreted it in my pocket. ''This is going to hurt for my little bitch. Physically _and_ emotionally!'' I said in German.

Assef nodded. ''Come on then, kiddo.'' I was in high spirits as I followed him up to the landing where Adia stood patiently. With sudden force, I grabbed her arm and frogmarched her to Masood's room.

''Not allowed in there,'' She protested. Rolling my eyes, I flung open the door and pushed her inside. She had to put her palms against the bed to stop from tumbling over. Tears welled up in her eyes. She obviously was still not over her brother's death. Not that I could blame her.

All the same, empathy is not in my nature. ''Mommy's gonna be _soo_ mad!'' she trembled, crying with emotional pain. I folded my arms over my chest.

''Now, my dear, why don't you run and get that nice china dolly that you showed me earlier?'' I gave her an innocent smile. As of now, she had no reason to suspect me. I was being kind to her, after all. She beamed widely and rushed to get the doll. When she returned moments later, the happy look on my face was marred by one of pure evil. I gestured at the doll.

''Very good, Adi, very good. Now, I'd like you to smash it.''

''W-what?'' Her eyes widened. ''You heard me. Girls your age shouldn't play with dolls, anyway. It's time you grew up, Caa?'' She clutched the doll against her chest.

''No, no please Saria, it's the only thing I have left to remind me of Masood. I c-can't I... Please, it's irreplaceable,'' she begged.

I rolled my eyes. ''Either you break it or I will, Adia. I _won't_ ask again!''

The little twat suddenly retaliated in a most surprising way. ''This is the _only_ thing I have to remind me of him. I'm _not_ gonna break it. PISS OFF!'' She made as though to strike me. Before she had even gotten that far, however, Assef positioned himself in front of me, grabbing her wrist, his brass knuckles glinting against the dimly lit room. She gulped, wriggling desperately.

''I suggest you do as Saria says, or I might hold up on that promise I made you,'' he threatened. Her little hands trembled as she tearfully flung her precious doll on the hard floor. It landed with a resounding crack and broke off into many pieces. I laughed maliciously. The little head rolled towards me, glassy eyes staring upwards. I placed my foot on top of it, eyes surveying the broken heirloom in disdain.

Adia was now sobbing uncontrollably, arms wrapped round her knees as she collapsed in a ball. I myself couldn't be happier. Now the fun could _really_ begin. I grabbed Adia by the hair and dragged her over to Masood's bed, forcing her to lie up there. I straddled her, knees pressing against ribs, my left hand gripping both her wrists. She bucked and kicked in a frantic attempt to get away.

I put my nose almost tip to tip with her own, placing a hand across her mouth by way of gagging her. ''This is your first and only warning Adia. Do _not_ scream out. No matter how much it hurts.'' I slowly released my hand from her mouth, leaning over to grab one of the doll's arms. Assef stood watch, his eyes bright with excitement.

Adia began to whimper as I lifted up her t-shirt. Slowly, almost rhythmically, I dug the jagged edge of the broken china into her flesh, making a deep laceration. She bit down hard on her bottom lip to keep from screaming. ''Y-you're hurting me, stop!'' she begged.

I rolled my eyes to heaven. ''I'm _hurting_ you? Adia, I could _kill_ you if I really wanted to. How _dare_ you backstab me? How dare you? After all I've done for you, you piece of shit.. After all the times I put my fucking ass on the line for you. You decide to fucking _hurt_ me?"

By now I was using every part of that doll I could find to split her open. ''Why just today, Ahtrai was going to beat you up and WHO STOPPED IT?'' I growled.

''You stopped her, S-Saria. Y-you did."

I nodded. ''That's right. And yet after everything that I do for you, you choose to let Aarash hurt me, to _help_ Aarash hurt me!'' I punctuated each word with more cuts. I avoided her face and arms in case her parents took notice, though it seemed unlikely. Now her entire stomach and upper chest were covered in deep, oozing lacerations. A sane person would have been deeply affected by this. I had no pity for the girl.

I materialised the salt and dumped generous helpings into each wound. Adia let out an involuntary screech of agony, lurching upwards. I managed to push her back down, digging my nails into her bony little arms. The bright orange flames danced before her terrified eyes as I waved my lighter in front of her. My expression remained stoic and unfeeling as I cauterised her wounds, sealing them up so the salt couldn't get out. Adia was now in a dire state of being, as if that even need to be said. I'm sure this was the most pain I ever caused her. My lip curled.

''Now, Adia, let this serve as a reminder of what I am _truly_ capable of. If you _ever_ disrespect me again, or tell anyone what I have just done, you'll be six feet under before you can even fucking blink. Do you understand me?''

She nodded hurriedly. ''Yes, I won't t-tell.''

''Good. I'm so happy we reached an understanding.'' I released my hands and stood up. ''You sleep in here tonight,'' I commanded. ''Now, good night and don't let me hear another peep out of you.''

Assef wrapped his arm around my shoulder. We both stopped to get one last glimpse of the sobbing child before Assef locked the door behind him, securing the key in his pocket. I felt as though I had truly purged myself of any hurt that Adia caused me. She knew now where she stood. I could wipe the slate clean, begin our relationship anew. Now I could focus on the more important aspect of revenge. The boy who had started it all, had taken my right to motherhood, who haunted my dreams every night. Aarash...


	30. Plotting Vengeance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria got some measure of revenge against Adia by cutting her up with an old china doll that Masood left her.. She then poured salt into the wounds and cauterised them. Now we find another few days have passed but it won't be long before another plot for revenge gets underway...

The air was filled with a tense quiet as Mama called us for dinner. I skipped into the room, feeling like an utter twat. Appearances had to be kept, I guess. Ugh, family mealtimes are _not_ something I enjoy doing. In fact, they're at the bottom of the fucking _list_! Playing innocent for my cunt of a mother and father isn't what I'd call fun. Trust me, if you had my parents, you'd feel the same way. My brother and I liked to eat dinner around 6:00 so that we could avoid Mama and Papa. Papa often worked until 7:00PM or even later, so many nights he would just skip dinner altogether. Why the _fuck_ couldn't this have been one of those nights?

'Stupid fucking retards,' I thought, adjusting the luminous pink ribbon on the side of my hair. Sure enough, I looked grotesquely charming, as if that even needs to be said again. Mama gave me a huge smile, opening her arms for me to run into. I pressed my face up against her floral apron. Her long blonde hair smelled of cinnamon, for whatever reason. It disgusted me.

This woman's very presence disgusted me. Yes, I know, she's my mother. I _should_ love her, but, as I have mentioned countless times, I only love _one_ person, and that's my brother. Mama's gentle hand patted my head, like I was some fucking dog. I rolled my eyes, though, of course, she didn't notice. Worthless bitch.

''Hey sweetie, you're looking gorgeous as usual,'' she complimented.

I bowed my knees in delight, giving her the perfect curtsy. ''I thank you kindly, Mama.'' She gushed, blue eyes welling up, hand placed over her chest. 'That's it, Saria, you stroke that cow's ego!' I reminded myself, laying my head against Mama's torso in a half-assed method to seem 'cute' or 'endearing'.

Papa laughed, a sound that honestly got on my fucking _nerves_ , and clapped me on the shoulder. ''A true charmer, our little girl,'' he teased, jabbing my ribs and underarms. I giggled, ducking away from him. To be clear, I am not known for my sense of humour, and being tickled (except by Assef) rather irked me.

I glanced down at the steak knife that rested on the dinner table, wishing I could jab it right into my father's heart. God, if only I could murder both of them, right here and now. To cut them open, watch them bleed on the carpet. It would be perfect. Assef took care of me a lot more than Papa or Mama could fucking dream of. He was the person I told my deepest secrets and fears to.

Do you think my parents would still love me if they knew who I truly was? They'd disown us both without a second fucking thought. Ship us to the police for questioning. I may _hate_ playing innocent, but when it came down to it, I had no other fucking choice. The smell of Aushak wafted through the air from the kitchen, filling my nostrils with this orgasmic scent.

Mama was quite a good cook, though, of course, her Aushak was dog shit compared to the one my brother cooked last Friday. I took my place next to him at the dining table, which had been perfectly set by that cunt Hamilra. Mama always wanted things to be as neat as possible. I guess that's why she liked me, I was the poster child for neatness. Assef placed a hand over my arm, rubbing it up and down.

I reached up and kissed his cheek, taking genuine delight in being with him. Papa cocked his head slightly, biting his lip. I bet every parent wishes their children were as close as us. Assef leaned over to whisper in my ear. ''I fucking hate these dinners,'' he said, anger evident in his voice.

''Me too,'' I replied, keeping my tone in a low octave so I wouldn't be overheard. That was another irritating thing about family dinners; since Mama was German, I couldn't talk properly with my brother. 'Let's just get this over with!' I thought, as Hamilra walked meekly into the room, four piping hot bowls of Aushak balanced on each hand.

She kept her eyes low, genuinely unnerved by our presence. Assef often tormented her whenever he got the chance. Slapped her around with his brass knuckles, belittled her. I stifled a laugh, thinking of how utterly petrified she was of him. 'You deserve it, worthless flat-nose!' I narrowed my eyes menacingly, turning up my nose at the bowl Hamilra placed in front of me.

''AH!'' I gasped loudly, jerking backwards as part of it spilled out, landing on my new cream pinafore. 'Oh _fuck_!' I thought. Hamilra's eyes grew wide as saucers, frantically dabbing at me with a napkin.

''Saria khanom, I-I'm so sorry,'' she grovelled, hands wiping my skirts desperately. I held my palms up in a forgiving gesture, looking deep into her coal black eyes.

''Nay, Hamilra, it's okay. Just an accident. Nothing more, nothing less. Don't sweat it.'' I glared behind the artificial smile. A murderous look passed Assef's features, before he too gave her a broad smile. Hamilra scurried out the door without acknowledging my words, knowing that she'd probably receive a beating for this later. I hoped Assef would let me join in!

My dress was now ruined. Brown sauce dribbled all over my ruffled cream skirts, landing on the floor. Mama clicked her tongue in disgust. ''That woman, I swear...'' Papa grumbled angrily, looking back where Hamilra exited. ''I'll buy you a new dress. My treat, pumpkin.''

''Why thank you, Papa.'' Oh joy. Another hideous piece of clothing to wear. I cursed myself for having such a tiny body. Every girl in school looked their fucking age except me. Honestly, sometimes people asked me was I lost, did I want the younger class? Fuck sake, I was _not_ a _child_! _Not_ a _baby_! Sensing this irritation, Assef squeezed my fingers gently, an emphatic look in his blue eyes.

I remembered to observe the rules of proper etiquette, cutting my food up small and using the appropriate utensils. 'Fuck it, this is delicious.' The Aushak melted on my tongue as I heaped a large portion onto the spoon. Despite all her faults, Mama _was_ a great cook. I had to give credit where it was due.

We ate in silence. I knew our parents had a deep, profound sense of turbulent fear being around their son. He was in control around here, and they knew it. I suspected they were quite jealous of the attention we showered each other with. Assef, in my eyes, truly loved and cared for me when they really couldn't give two shits. ''Are you glad to be finished school?'' Mama asked.

''Why yes, most certainly!'' I responded, bouncing up and down on my seat for good measure. God, I felt like _such_ a total idiot! My teeth clinked against the spoon. I knew Mama really detested this habit of mine, but what could I do? This was something I'd been doing since weaning. Just another of my little quirks.

''Did Mullah Fahsir Khan give any homework?'' Papa asked sternly. I rolled my eyes, the bastard was too fucking serious for his own good. Always wanting me to revise.

''No, Papa,'' I said truthfully.

''Well, in that case, perhaps you and I might spend a bit of time at the library. Is there anything you'd be interested in learning about?'' He asked. 'Yes, how to murder you and get away with it.' I snickered devilishly in the dark recesses of my psyche.

''Let Saria have fun, it _is_ the holidays, Father,'' Assef interjected.

''I'm just offering. She's a lucky girl to be getting this education. Many women don't.'' It seemed that Assef and Papa were quickly becoming at loggerheads once again. Mama quickly tried diffusing the situation, glass raised high in the air.

''A toast; to family!''

''To family!'' we repeated, the sound of glasses chiming together echoing in the resounding quiet. 'To my brother!' I glanced at him, love warming my heart. Assef reached out, pulling me onto his knees. I giggled, rubbing my head against his neck. This wasn't just me being innocent for Mama and Papa, I genuinely was this affectionate to him. I'm not just some cold blooded killer, as many would have you believe.

''Are you two finished eating?'' Mama questioned, giving a rather annoyed look to Assef's bowl of half eaten food.

''Yes, can we be excused?'' I remembered to be a kiss ass, of course.

''Not until Assef's finished his vegetables,'' Mama ordered, jabbing her fork in his direction.

''I'm not going to eat something I don't want to, just because you cooked it. That's ridiculous.'' Assef pushed back his chair, eyes locking unwaveringly on Mama's. She tensed, wanting to chastise his rudeness, but holding back. Smart move.

''You're excused, Saria,'' Mama informed me. I knew she was pissed off at us. Her face was like an open book. Smiling, I got up, not bothering to fold the napkin that had rested on my lap. Just another thing for Mama to go ape shit over.

''I'm going for a bath,'' I said, leaning over to kiss Papa on the cheek.

''Alright baby. See you in the morning.'' I didn't bother to acknowledge him as I casually strolled upstairs. Half way up, I bent down to remove my shoes and socks. Now barefoot, I padded towards the linen closet. Hamilra had washed some towels early this morning. I exhaled, rubbing the fluffy white bath towel up against my skin.

There was a large butterfly resting on the ceramic bathtub, it's wings fluttering irritably. 'Stupid thing.' Making a fist, I squashed the bug with ease, wishing I could squash my human foes like this. Water splashed onto the ceramic tiled floor, as I dipped my foot in, testing it. Once satisfied, I got into the bath, closing my eyes in pure relaxation.

Bathing was perhaps the only way for me to relieve any tension in my body. That and causing pain to other's, I mean. I lathered a generous helping of shampoo onto my long blonde hair, taking care that none got in my eyes. It fucking stung like a bitch whenever that happened! I hissed, squeezing the edges of the bath with one hand as I came to a fucking snag.

''Ugh, I hate my fucking hair!'' I swore in German, angrily kicking the mat, unbridled rage filling me up. Yes, I _am_ a spoilt little child, what of it? Picking up a tall, clear bottle of Shower Gel, I growled like a wild beast, flinging it across the room. It landed with a resounding thud, echoing in my fucking eardrums. Perhaps Mama and Papa heard, maybe not. I really couldn't give two shits either way.

The consequences of my actions meant _nothing_ when the inner demon within awoke. ''Just my fucking luck!'' I half-screamed. The night was fucking ruined. I could hear footsteps passing, stopping right outside. I held my breath, praying it wasn't Mama. Whoever they were, they left pretty damn quickly.

''I try fucking relaxing, but nooo!'' Extremely pissed off, I moved the bath plug around the still running taps (which I turned off after), stood up, and jumped out. Big mistake. My feet gave way, I tripped, landing smack on my ass, hands behind me in protection. 'ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!' I thought, holding fingers to my aching skull.

Wrapping a towel around myself, I angrily thundered down the hall, ruined dress under my arm. If someone were to cross me now, there was no fucking telling what I'd do. The bedroom door slammed loudly as I crumpled onto the freshly made up sheets. ''UGH!'' I bit down onto a nearby pillow, feeling tears sting the corners of my eyes. To be honest, I didn't know _what_ exactly annoyed me so much!

Did I just have a short fuse? Well, that question doesn't need to be answered, does it? 'FUCK! FUCK! FUUCCKKK!' I screamed inwardly, deep in the midst of a severe breakdown. Fist punched, legs kicked. I hit everything I could find. 'Where's Adia when I need her?' Thinking of my bitch calmed me significantly. She had now become more terrified of me than ever before.

Last Saturday, after our little ''talk'' I was delighted to see the full extent of my handiwork. Adia's lower abdomen, her chest, were littered with scars. Dried blood had set on her tan skin, a few grains of salt littered here and there. The pain she must be in was unfathomable. Ha! Good. It warmed my heart to see an innocent person suffering due to _my_ handiwork. Adia knew now who her master was. If she _ever_ betrayed me again, then I would have no choice but to murder her.

I could fill a book with how I'd torture her should I need to. My little bitch flinched now if I even attempted touching her. She was truly petrified of my very being. This monster, lurking under her bed, waiting to strike, to drag her under. Still, don't get me wrong, I will protect dear Adi if she needs it. Nobody else got to humiliate _my_ bitch! _Nobody_!

Friends looked out for each other, yes? Adia should consider herself fucking _grateful_ to be my friend. Do you think any of those brats in school would jump to her defence with Ahtrai? Do you think she'd have survived the academic year without me? I know how bullies get. There are some who might call me a bully, possibly even fear me. Dear little Ara certainly would agree with this.

Yet, would you rather be my friend or my enemy? The answer is obvious. Only a retard would defy me. 'I'm so glad we're friends again, my Adia,' I thought, sitting up on my knees. The white towel fell away, revealing my stark naked form. Even in the privacy of this room, my body was a humiliating sight. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. I pulled my lavender coloured nightgown on, taking care not to upset any loose strands of hair. It probably needed a fucking trim, really. As I put my dirty clothes into the wash basket, I couldn't help but think of my newest school foe; Ahtrai. She must have been one of the stupidest people I ever met.

Even _after_ I had let her know her place, she was still insisting on acting like a brat. Pushing me down, spitting on me, calling me names. Why this was I had no fucking clue. She knew what I did to her little blind friend, and must be aware that I was capable of _worse_! My tormented psyche was full of unbridled ire. Stupid fucking Ahtrai! Why did she pick on me? What had I ever done to her? It seemed that nobody in school ever wanted to befriend me. I was the black sheep, the lone wanderer in the deserted hallways. If I were as good at making friends as enemies, I would be so fucking popular but I could give a monkey's uncle about that. Assef was the _only_ person who I needed.

I brushed a strand of golden hair out of my eyes, trembling with cold. November was here, and snow had already begun to fall. Delicate little flakes swirling through the air, each one unique. 'I wonder how Adia's blood would look on the snow?' I thought, making it a goal to find out.

There would be another Kite Fighting tournament, something I couldn't wait for. I highly doubted Amir would participate this year. The little asshole probably couldn't even look at a kite anymore. Must remind him of poor Hassan. The memory of what Assef did remained fresh in my thoughts. Rape was one of the funniest ways to hurt someone on the planet. That and using their precious heirlooms against them. I wanted Assef to rape somebody again. Maybe Amir.

The cunt did pick a Hazara over me. He needed to face the consequences of his rejection. I would not let Amir treat me like this. Stupid fucking dickhead. I had all the love in the world for him, and, even knowing who my brother was, he _dared_ to ignore me! Amir could either be my lover, obey my every whim, or nobody would have him. That's just how I am with people.

I yanked the covers up high, snuggling down in bed. I could hear the rain and hailstones clanging loudly against the garage roof, just adjacent to me. The wind was very fucking noisy, and lightning illuminated my dark room every so often. Our little neighbourhood was prone to a frequent storm or two, especially during winter nights. The cotton material of the nightgown I wore did little to help warm me. Today had drained me entirely. Putting up with Ahtrai, defending Adia, tormenting little Delbar. It was all too much for one little girl to handle. At least now I had the 3 months of winter to recouperate. I shut my eyes, tossing and turning, kicking my leg out, unable to get comfortable.

''Fuck!'' I swore, jerking upright, then leaning back against the headboard. Why couldn't I sleep? Angrily, I punched the side of my head, hissing in frustration. Self abuse was not unknown to me. Perhaps it was the visceral fear that whenever I closed my eyes, the dreaded nightmares would begin anew. They came every fucking night, each more horrific and graphic than the last. More often than not, what scared me were the ones in which Aarash hurt my brother in my place. Was it my subconscious visualising my deepest terror? ''Blast it, I'm sleeping with Assef tonight.'' I grumbled, swinging myself around.

Tentatively, I placed my feet upon the dense, linty fabric of the off-white carpet. I tried to avoid the spot where my bitch pissed herself, though it had long since been cleaned. It must have been about 9:00 or 10:00PM, but I didn't care to know. Placing a hand against the wall, I staggered my way to the doorknob. My tiny fingers grappled for a moment before I got the door open, taking care not to slam it against the fucking wall. I padded in bare feet across the deserted hallway, counting each step. One, two, three, four...

At step number fifteen, I reached his door. There was no real need to knock, Assef would let me in anyway. The knob creaked as I slipped inside. Assef sat perched on the edge of his bed, dressed in flannel black pyjamas, tired eyes heavy and listless. I crawled onto his lap, the way I've done since I was a toddler.

''Oh hello,'' he yawned, leaning across me to switch on his bedside lamp. We now sat bathed in dimly glowing light. ''Is there something wrong, kiddo? Can't you sleep?''

I shrugged, laying my head on his. ''I just can't. I'm scared of having another bad dream.''

Assef clicked his tongue, pulling me closer. ''You wanna sleep in here tonight, kiddo?'' he asked softly.

I nodded. ''Okay.'' It was funny how we could read each other's minds. Assef placed a gentle hand on the back of my head, nuzzling against me.

''Time is it?'' I asked.

''About 10:00.''

My face fell slightly.

''We don't have to sleep right now, Sar. If you'd like, we could just talk.'' Assef gently deposited me on the bed, running a hand through his messy blond hair. My brother slid under the covers of his large double bed (this used to be a spare bedroom) and patted a space for me to lie next to him.

I felt so much better here, knowing I had Assef to comfort me. Gently, he caressed my forehead, a soft look in his eyes. The sound of Hamilra's voice echoed as she hummed an old Farsi song, busy at work. ''Bitch ruined my dress,'' I grumbled irately.

''She nearly fucking burned you too. Can't she be more careful? I was afraid you'd wind up in A and E with scaldings.'' Assef sounded like he wanted to cut Hamilra open right now, a desire we both had many times. ''That Hazara needs to learn her place,'' he said with conviction.

''Ah, nothing your brass knuckles can't teach her!'' For the sake of not getting in trouble, we spoke in hushed voices, and in German.

Assef chortled loudly. ''Yeah, wanna help out?'' he asked.

I nodded my head like it was on a spring, wide eyed in joy. ''Let's do it soon.''

Assef's mouth opened wide in a yawn, and he stretched his arms over his head. He kissed my temple lovingly. ''Fuck, I'm wrecked. Goodnight, kiddo.'' I leaned over him, flicking the light-switch off.

''Night, Assef jan. I love you.''

''Love you too, Saria.'' We always told each other this as much as possible. A reminder that no matter what, nothing could break our loving sibling bond. Assef wrapped his arm around my waist, drawing me in close. I rested my head against the soft, feathery pillow, my eyes slowly closing. The sound of Hamilra's irritable humming became almost like white noise. I pulled the blankets up, taking care not to steal any from Assef. So groggy, so lethargic... I eventually nodded off...

It must have been around midnight when I heard those noises, insistent rustling coming from directly outside the window. My heart beat frantically, like a hammer against cloth. I shot up in bed, eyes flicking left to right. Placing a hand over my chest, I tried to bring myself back to reality. 'Stupid!' I chastised myself.

I knew these fears were unfounded. Did I expect Aarash to be lurking outside the window? My whole body trembled as I jumped with every loud knock that came from outside. I reached a hand across the bed and shook Assef's shoulder. ''Assef! Assef, brother, wake up!'' I whispered in a high pitched voice, panic setting in.

Assef jerked away from me, almost hitting against the wall, but he didn't stir. My tiny hand fumbled around in the pitch blackness until I eventually felt the smooth texture of his brass knuckles. I put them on my hand, feeling instantly safer. The noises continued.

''Come and get me, Aarash, you fucker!'' I threatened, waving my fist in the air.

My brother sat up, a confused look on his face. ''Saria, what in God's name? Keep it down before Mother and Father hear you.''

I turned suddenly. ''Oh, you're awake now. I've been calling you for ages. God, Assef, you know, I've _never_ heard a person snore so loudly in my fucking life,'' I teased.

He rubbed his eyes. ''Why are you up, kiddo?'' My whimper at the next thud was enough of an answer. ''I'm scared of the lightning.'' Grumbling irritably, Assef threw the covers off himself, crawling across me to get up.

''There's nothing here, Saria. Do you expect Aarash to come in, or what?'' I couldn't answer him. Assef pulled back the curtains, revealing the source of the noise; a large poplar tree, branches hitting against the glass with every gust of wind. ''See? Everything's fine. Would you like me to check for monsters under the fucking bed as well?'' He snapped, annoyed.

I suddenly became deathly quiet, turning away from him, as my brother came to the realisation that he had been too harsh with me. Assef sighed deeply, his expression softening as he climbed back in next to me. He reached out and I felt his body press against mine. ''I'm sorry, kiddo. I'm just overtired, I didn't mean to be so rude to you,'' he said into my ear.

I turned to face him, any hurt or anger towards his behaviour now dwindling. ''It's okay,'' I said, feeling like a small child.

Assef grinned and held me tight. ''It's okay if you're scared, little sister. I mean, look at what you had to go through, what we _both_ went through. But I promise, nothing is going to hurt you. I swear to you, Saria.'' I hugged Assef tightly, feeling my unfounded worries slip away, like grains of sand trickling from my open palms.

He always knew how to calm my frazzled nerves. ''Vielen Dank, Mein Bruder. Ich liebe dich,'' I said.

Assef kissed me gently. ''Ich liebe dich, meine Schwester. Guten nacht.'' With that, he cuddled me tightly as I felt my body go limp. I still heard the noises, though Assef's protective grip soothed my fears. His body heat provided warmth for us as the storm ravaged everything outside. Nothing could hurt me so long as Assef were here. I felt my mind become clouded with sleep once again...

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! Rolling over, I grumbled loudly as I heard Assef shifting next to me. ''Uh, come in!'' he called.

Mama poked her head round the door, smiling widely. ''Is Saria there with you, son?'' she asked. I looked up at her, giggling.

''I'm here, Mama. I couldn't sleep last night because of the thunder.'' It wasn't a lie. Mama pursed her lips. I knew she hated the bond I shared with Assef. SHE ought to be the one I crawled into bed with after a nightmare. But she wasn't. Too fucking bad.

''Oh. Alright, sweetie. Well, your father and I are just about to leave for work. Um, I'd say we'll be home by around 8:00. Hamilra will cook dinner for you. Okay?''

''Okay, Mama,'' I replied, wishing she could just _leave_. Everything about this woman got on my nerves. Mama took nine steps forward and caught me in an embrace, breathing in my lavender scent.

''I love you, Saria.'' 'The only way I will ever love you is when you're a rotting corpse in the ground where you belong,' I thought vehemently.

With a voice sweeter than candy, I replied, ''I love you too, Mama.'' She nodded and seen herself out. Once she was gone, I let myself fall back against the pillow, giggling loudly. ''She's _such_ a bitch!'' I managed to spit between peals of laughter. Assef rolled his eyes. We could hear the distinct revving of the engine, as Papa drove away. My heart lifted; alone with my brother, just how I liked it.

''I hope they both crash and _die_!'' I exclaimed, punching the air. Assef laughed and drew me in close.

''Aww, you know you love them, really,'' he teased.

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. ''You know who I love.''

Assef nodded, placing a hand on the back of mine. ''Now we have the day to ourselves, kiddo. Run and get changed, then we'll go do something fun,'' he suggested. I nodded.

''Alright then. Something fun, I'll hold you to that.'' I stretched my arms back, flexing my toes as they sank into the carpet. Making the journey back to my perfectly tidy bedroom, I quietly closed the door. I felt so happy to be able to spend time with my dear Assef. I hoped we'd be going on another just because. There was so much inner rage, I _needed_ to let it all out.

Needed to find a human punching bag to vent my frustrations upon. Maybe I could blind or disfigure someone again. I laughed at the memory of Ara's terrified face as I punched her fucking lights out. Was I the last thing her eyes saw? Was it my face that swarmed the darkness of her fragile and traumatised mind?

I opened the door to my wardrobe, perusing through my selection of dresses and pinafores. Each as ugly as the last. I cocked my head slightly, taking a glimpse at the child in the floor length mirror. I was struck by just how grotesque I was. Physically the size of an eight year old, with a fat tummy, bony legs, disgustingly pale complexion. I leaned forward, reaching out to touch where my scars rested.

I felt like vomiting at the mere sight of them. They were as clear as day. Surely the mirror would crack at this horrific reflection. ''You're so ugly,'' I hissed. ''Can't even bear a child now!'' I lifted up my nightie, running a hand over my stomach. I would never get to feel the joy of a baby kicking, or hold them in my arms. My teeth clenched.

''Ugly, stupid, fat, WORTHLESS!'' I screamed, tears running down my face. God, I looked even more disgusting when I cried. ''No wonder Amir turned his back on you. There's _nobody_ in this world that could ever love a monster! And much less a monster that can't even have a child! You hear me, Saria Ahmed, you FILTHY WHORE! You're worthless and nobody loves you!''

With a feral scream of rage, I picked up my wooden hairbrush and flung it across the room. I was like a mini tornado, chucking everything I was able to get my hands on. ''You're so ugly, so worthless, disgusting...'' I repeated over and over as I sank into a pathetic ball on the floor. Tears stained my cheeks as I buried my head in my knees.

If I could have died then and there, I'd have done so willingly. Every part of me was grotesque, the outside reflecting the inside. I angrily tugged at my hair, letting out an animalistic scream of pure despondency. My eyes rolled back as I shook with every pain filled cry. I was vaguely aware of footsteps approaching and heard the sound of my older brother's concerned voice.

''Saria? Oh, kiddo, why are you crying? What's wrong?'' He dropped to his knees beside me and gathered me into his arms, crooning to me. ''Tell me what's up, Saria, come on.'' I could hardly get the words out. I just gripped the front of Assef's grey t-shirt, wailing pitifully.

''I'm such an ugly, disgusting, h-hideous excuse for a person. Abysmal. L-look at me, Assef. I'm twelve years old and I look eight or nine. I'll never be able to give birth. I...''

Assef's eyes took on a sympathetic look. ''You know, brother, I'd give anything so people c-could understand. All I w-want is to eliminate the filth in this country, to make it better.'' I somehow found the courage to look at myself once again. ''Look at these fucking scars. Just say it, I'm nothing and I'll always be _nothing_!'' I made to punch the glass but Assef grabbed my wrist and stopped me.

His eyes sharp with a fiercely protective look in them. ''God, kiddo, do you really hate yourself that much?'' I couldn't answer; I felt so unworthy of him. Ever since the Aarash incident I had been feeling a lot of self-loathing. Maybe it was just the trauma of what had gone on. Assef lifted my chin. He wore the most heartbroken expression on his face. ''Saria, please, look at me.'' I finally managed to keep my eyes locked on his. ''You are beautiful, okay? You always were and always will be, scars or no scars. It doesn't matter one bit that you can't get pregnant; I'm sure there are a _lot_ of women who can't.''

He sighed. ''Kiddo, if I could turn back the hands of time, could take everything Aarash did to you, I'd do it in a heartbeat, you know this. Nothing.. There's _nothing_ in this world I wouldn't do for you, little sister.'' Assef gently pulled me onto his lap, resting his chin on my head.

''I love you unconditionally and I promise, you and me, we _are_ going to eliminate the Hazaras, and fuck what anyone else thinks. Okay? Please stop thinking such awful things about yourself, Saria. You are worth _ten million_ of Amir, or any other kunis that dares to hurt you.''

My brother cradled me like a baby in his arms, rocking back and forth. ''It's okay, kiddo, it's okay,'' he repeated over again. I finally managed to calm myself, swallowing down the bile that had been lurking in my throat.

''I love you too, Assef. So much.''

Once I was significantly relaxed, and my hyperventilating had stopped, Assef began talking. ''Sar, I've been doing some thinking. We've already punished Wali, Kamal, and your little Adia. It's high time we focused our attention upon the person who deserves to suffer most. Aarash.''

At the sound of his name, my eyes became two narrow slits. ''What, exactly, do you think we should do to him, my brother?''

A cruel smile played on Assef's lips. ''Saria, Aarash beat you to get at me. He knew that nothing would hurt me more than seeing you in pain. So, we'll hit Aarash right where it fucking hurts. Let's torture Farsef.''

I cocked my head. ''You mean beat him up and stuff?'' Assef laughed, slapping his knees, the image of a person who had lost his mind.

''Beat him up? Ha! After what you and I went through, that would be fucking merciful. No, Saria, we're going to _torture_ him in every sense of the word. Beating, whipping, skinning, strangling. Everything.'' I felt my heart glow. Torture. Neither Assef not myself had ever done such a horrendous act. Yes, we had raped (Assef had, I mean) beaten, and humiliated our enemies, but torture? As brutal as he suggested? I almost wanted to scream from happiness. My emotions could turn on a dime. Utter sadness had turned into pure, unfathomable joy.

''I want him to die, Assef. I want Aarash to watch his baby brother _suffer_ and die in the most horrific ways possible,'' I said casually, as if merely speaking about the weather.

Assef nodded. ''Of course, my dear.'' He placed his hands on my shoulders. ''You know, Saria, apparently if you freeze skin, then immerse it in boiling water, it will peel right off. Like the skin on a pomegranate. Right down to the bone.'' My eyes became wide as saucers.

''It's already snowing, brother, we can do that easily.''

''And we'll strip him, so his chances of getting hypothermia increase. Maybe even rip his heart out. Believe me, kiddo, I know how much you wanted to have children some day, and if Aarash thinks he can take that right from you, well, I think it's only fair we castrate Farsef in return.''

At this, I let out a squeal of delight, hands clasped together as if in prayer. ''I want him on his fucking knees. You hear me? I want Aarash on his knees and I wanna see the bastard grovel.''

Assef poked me on the nose. ''As you wish.'' He released me and stood up. ''Now, kiddo, why don't we take a little journey to that hospital you stayed in. Maybe take a few needles and what not to use on Farsef?'' he suggested.

I raised my eyebrows. Assef had the _best_ ideas! I did have a more pressing question for my older brother, though. ''But what if someone catches us?'' Assef shook his head.

''They won't. Now, I need you to do something for me. Get your school bag, and some of those plastic bottles for water. That way you'll be able to put medicines in them for us to use on Farsef.'' He really did think of everything, my wonderful brother. I was high as a kite.

''Okay! Well let me get dressed then!'' I exclaimed, almost ushering my brother out in my desperation to get ready.

''I can't wait to see what adorable little dress you put on today!'' he teased. I picked up a nearby t-shirt and chucked it at him, laughing. He dodged it easily, leaving me to my own devices. I bounced over to the wardrobe. It honestly didn't faze me about choosing a dress. I was in the best possible mood. This dress I put on was light blue in colour, large collar and ruffled skirts, with, actually, no bows this time. I probably looked fucking ridiculous, but now I didn't care. Assef had managed to cheer me up immensely. I laughed sadistically, thinking of exactly _what_ Farsef would have done to him. I felt no remorse.

Aarash deserved to watch his brother's pain. It was about noon as I reached under my desk for the bag. I unzipped it and materialised two medium sized empty water bottles. Perfect for hiding medicine in. My heart was glowing with joy as I traipsed down the stairs to meet Assef. ''Won't it look suspicious for me to be carrying this?'' I tugged at the straps. Assef placed a hand on my arm reassuringly.

''Let's just say we're going for a picnic on Gharga lake,'' he said. ''And we decided to come thank the nice doctors for taking such good care of you.'' We both laughed at this statement. Like I'd ever thank those fucking cunts. Gratitude just wasn't in my nature.

''Well okay, Assef! Come on!'' I literally dragged my poor brother out the door and along the path. These were not forced emotions on my part. I was genuienly delighted at the idea of hurting another person. Aarash deserved what he'd get and so did Farsef. The memory of Farsef's little 'crush' on me remained ingrained in the corner of my brain.

He would learn how wrong it was to love a monster. I could taste the first snowflakes as they landed on my outstretched tongue, melting like butter. I giggled, clasping Assef's hand. We trudged our way down the road. I wore my blue duffle coat, buttoned up to the last. Assef was very particular about me keeping warm. Honestly, he was more of a father figure than brother at times.

This protective streak was one of the reasons I loved him so much. ''Can we light him on fire too?'' I asked, of course in German.

''We can do anything you like, kiddo. No holes barred. This is _your_ revenge. Just say the word and I'll make your desires come true.'' We continued to meander along the winding road, paying no attention to men, women or children who passed by. Each with their own worries, not knowing they passed within a hairs breadth of a rapist and a two time murderer.

Yes, I do count Fahrsan's death as murder. The smell of cooking naan from a close by stall permeated the air. My stomach began to rumble; I had not had any breakfast, something I now regretted. Assef clicked his tongue, eyes travelling between me and the stall owner. ''I'll buy ya lunch after.'' He promised.

''Thanks.'' I wanted to break into a run, but I knew this would come off as suspicious. People tend not to _run_ towards hospitals. From my peripheral, I caught a glimpse of Yusef, Amir's father. He wore a dark striped business suit, hair slicked back with a fuckload of gel. I tried getting Assef to hurry up, but it was no fucking use. The smarmy bastard waved happily, his footsteps thundering as he walked briskly over to me and Assef. Yusef really had that larger than life quality, something I truly detested him for, given that I am a reserved person myself. Or so I think.

Assef kept his finger intertwined with my own as Yusef stopped in front of us, hands resting on his trouser pockets. I exhaled deeply; being so close to Amir's father genuinely unnerved me. Maybe it was because I had a crush on his brat of a son. Maybe because of the rumours. That he once wrestled a bear, and won. Either fucking way, Yusef pissed me off. I ducked behind Assef, partly acting 'cute'.

Yusef laughed, a bark-like sound that honestly irritated the fuck out of me. ''Hello, Saria. Feeling shy, are we?''

I had to muster up the courage to speak. ''A little. Salaam, Yusef jan.'' I bowed my knees, the picture of innocence.

''Salaam akyum, dear.'' He ruffled my hair, pissing me off even more, and grinned. ''Where are you two going?'' he asked curiously.

''I'm taking Saria for a picnic on Gharga lake. Just to do something a little different.'' Assef placed a hand on my back. I was becoming more annoyed with each passing second. Each moment wasted could have been spent getting our equipment. For a seemingly intelligent man, Yusef obviously couldn't read people, or he'd _know_ we didn't want to fucking talk.

''You know, Saria, I've noticed you haven't been up to play with Amir in a while. Is everything okay?''

'Besides the fact your son rejected me?' I thought, balling my hands up into fists. I wanted to deck Yusef for having such a kunis for a son. My smile never faltered. ''Um, everything's fine. I apologise; I've just been real busy with homework,'' I lied. Yusef was understanding, placing a gentle hand upon my elbow.

''That's fine, Saria. You're welcome to come play anytime, just ask. I'm sure Amir would love to have a friend to spend time with.'' I almost wanted to ask where Hassan was, but realised I couldn't do this, not without seeming rude.

As if I cared. Wherever the flat-nosed donkey was, I hoped his suffering increased. Yusef clearer his throat. ''Well, I'll leave you two be. Have a nice day.''

''And the same to you,'' Assef replied in his most charming voice. ''Come on, kiddo.'' He led me away. I bared my teeth like some wildcat at Yusef's retreating form. He was making his way up the list of people I'd like to murder. Amir was lucky I had to punish Aarash, otherwise you can be sure _he'd_ be the guy facing all this horrendous, violent torture.

''Is everything alright, kiddo?'' my brother asked. I kicked at the pebbles furiously.

''Seeing Yusef, I guess just reminds me of what Amir did. I want that boy to pay for ignoring me.''

''I'm sure we can think of something. He won't get away with hurting you.'' We continued to trek slowly along the road, my sack bouncing with each step I took. Assef kept a gentle but firm grip on my tiny fingers. I spluttered uncontrollably, thinking of the horrific acts we'd be performing.

My brother squinted at me, his mouth parting. ''What a happy little girl,'' remarked a nearby old bat, waving at me. 'If only you knew!' I thought cruelly. My perpetual smile never left. After what seemed like forever, but was probably only twenty or so minutes, we reached the huge iron gates of the hospital.

Even months after the incident, the sweat from my fears still dripped down my neck. All the horrific memories. My brother inhaled sharply. ''Kiddo?'' I continued trudging across the ankle-deep snow, like a zombie, deadpan. The last time I was in this hospital, I lost the ability to be a mother. I had just been sexually and physically abused, my life irreversibly changed.

Could I help the sharp breaths escaping my lips? ''We don't have to go in there of you don't want.'' It was unbelievable how Assef knew exactly what I had on my fragile, tormented mind. I shook my head.

''No, no, I'm fine. Honestly. It's just.. tough. But I'm good. Let's.. eh, let's go.'' He nodded, gently rubbing his thumb along my knuckles. The large white building got closer into view. The ringing of ambulance sirens drilled in my ears, nurses raced past with stretchers, almost knocking us to the asphalt.

One happened to contain a young girl of about 14, her face covered in blood. Her moans of pain satiated the devil within me. I only wished I could be the one to have done this. The nurse began yelling orders at her coworker, hands moving at a frantic pace. ''GET HER TO ICU STAT!'' they commanded.

Assef directed me past. The air smelled of vomit, blood, antiseptic. Just what you'd expect in a hospital. Glass doors creaked noisily as we entered, patting the snow from our clothes and shoes. My brother kept a firm hand on me. 'Game face on!' I reminded myself. Moaning patients hunched doubled over on plastic waiting room chairs, blood splattered the usually clean floor.

Doctors and nurses whizzed past, like buzzing insects, roaring incomprehensible orders to each other. I fidgeted with the hem of my dress. Assef leant casually against the reception desk, his arms crossed, while I positioned myself up against his legs.

''Saria? Saria Ahmed?'' Oh, joy. Joy of _fucking_ joys. Nurse Fareiba, who I affectionately named 'Fat Nurse' hurried towards me, a grin as broad as the horizon on her face. She leaned forward, wrapping her ginormous arms round my much smaller body, lifting me clean off my feet.

'Stupid cunt.' I wanted to punch her fucking lights out. ''How lovely to see you again. You're healing well I notice. Wonderful.''

I nodded. ''I'm doing much better, Nurse Fareiba. Thank you.'' Assef reached over and shook hands with the ugly cunt. Only I noticed the murderous look in his blue eyes. The look, not directed at Faireba, but rather at the tall, lean doctor casually approaching. His very prescience irritated Assef to no end. Dr Behnam, the idiotic twat who denied my brother the chance to go into the operating theatre with me. Why again? Some shit about 'parents only' If I recall correctly. This man would get punished; the Ahmed siblings do not forget even the most tiny of disrespects.

Not today, however. He may count himself lucky today. Dr. Behnam squatted down so he was level with me. He gripped my hand in both of his much larger ones. A kindly look crossed his features. ''Hello, Saria. It's nice to see you again. How have you been?'' I knew he was referring to both my physical _and_ mental well being, neither of which had been fantastic.

I managed to lie, a talent I really ought to win a medal in. ''I've been coping well, Dr. Behnam. I'm very lucky I have a great brother to look after me.'' You'll notice I said 'brother' and not 'family' I need not speak further on this. Assef smiled down at me.

''You flatter me, kiddo.'' He nudged me in the ribs. I giggled and ducked away from him. Fareiba beamed, overjoyed by the perfect relationship laid before her. Dr. Benham's dark eyes travelled along my pinafore until they came to rest upon my tummy. He didn't say anything, but I knew he pitied me.

What good is a woman if she can't bear children? I touched my stomach gently, eyes narrowing. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Assef bending forward to grab Dr. Behnam's keys from the tray near him. Idiotic jerk and his whore of a nurse were too busy fussing over me to notice.

''I don't mean to be pushy or anything but um, have you found the bad man who hurt me? I only ask because I don't want anyone else to suffer like I did.'' God damn, Saria, you are the _best_ liar!

Fareiba shook her head. ''No, darling. We are out looking for him, though. We'll find and punish him for.. for...'' She broke off. ''It makes me _sick_ that a grown man could do this to an innocent little girl.''

''This innocent little girl here is about to do something more brutal than you could ever comprehend'' I said in German. Nobody bothered to question my odd language. The high pitched squeak of a wheelchair grated in my ears. I wrinkled up my nose in disgust. Disabled cunts.

Time to plan. I tugged on Assef's hand, bouncing vigorously. ''Assef! Assef! Aasseff!'' I pestered him.

Assef looked down. ''What is it, kiddo?'' he asked, grabbing my arm to steady me.

''I'm thirsty. Can I have a Rupia for the drinks stand?'' I asked innocently. My brother nodded. He reached into his pocket, materialised four Rupia, and I felt him press them against my hand.

''There you go,'' we shared a knowing look. ''Don't be too long.''

As I walked down the crowded hallway, I heard Assef talking to Fareiba and Dr. Behnam. ''She really is the bravest little girl I know. Honestly, it breaks my heart to see her in pain. But she's getting through it, day by day. It was her idea to come here, you know. We're going for a picnic but my Saria told me she just _had_ to visit the heroes who helped save her life.''

Fucking hell, Assef was a talented sociopath. I could hear the sweetness that dripped from every word. It was kinda creepy. Fareiba caught Assef in an embrace, tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. I wanted to run back, to help my poor brother out, but I knew I had to get these medicines. I walked briskly down the hallway, singing an old German tune in a failed attempt to mask out the pitiful wailing of onlooking patients. I wanted to bash their skips in with a damn flower pot or some other weapon. I couldn't imagine ever working here. Ha, can you imagine me as a nurse? Pretty frightening thought, Caa?

I kept a benevolent smile gracing my lips as I walked by. Something jagged and sharp dug into my palm, and I winced. 'The fuck?' I noticed Assef had given me the keys stolen from Dr. Behnam. A cold look marred my face as I peered down at them. The nurses beamed, some reaching out to clap me on the shoulder.

''You okay, honey?'' one asked.

I nodded. ''Why yes. I'm just going to get a drink.'' She nodded, obviously too busy to give a shit. A little boy of six or so began spazzing out upon his gurney. Panic erupted.

''CODE 99 ICU! CODE 99 ICU!'' I watched with detached interest as doctors frantically shocked his little chest, again and again. 'Ha! Stupid little brat!' I thought, fighting the urge to shoot the finger at his grieving parents. I noticed the lab technicians up ahead, chortling and gossiping as they made their way to lunch.

Rounding a corner, I ducked behind a wall, heart beating so loud I was positive they could hear me. 'Let's go, Saria.' I tiptoed up to the large steel door, keys jangling. The hall was quiet, perhaps there was an emergency elsewhere. Not like I cared. I wrapped my tiny fingers around the doorknob, eyes moving left to right, checking for any doctors or nurses approaching.

When none came, I shoved the key into the lock, my little body pressed up against the door as I turned it clockwise. Thankfully, it opened easily. I darted inside, closing the door as silent as I could. My eyes brightened, taking in the scalpels and what not that were placed carefully on trolleys. How ironic was it that something used to ease pain, would now be used to cause it? I knew I had to act quickly.

I grabbed about two syringes and scalpels, just enough so nobody would realise they were missing, and placed them in my bag. I don't need to say how much of a fucking risk taker I am. If anyone were to come in, I'd be done for. There was a large cabinet, just level with my waist. I got down on my knees and opened the doors wide, taking out medicine bottles and inspecting them, wanting to know which caused the most pain, had the most severe side-effects.

I came across a medium sized bottle with the label 'Syrup of Ipecac.' My heart lifted, remembering how Mama once used this, when she got food poisoning. It left her puking for hours. Taking my water bottles out, I carefully unscrewed the lid of the Syrup, pouring a copious amount of the clear liquid into the medium sized bottle in my hand.

Because I am a fucking genius, I mixed water from the sink in with the Ipecac to ensure nobody realised any was missing. I must have taken at least half the bottle. My arms ached from shaking it so fucking vigorously. I hoped Assef was distracting Behnam and his nurse. My eyes wandered until they came to rest upon a few vials of liquid nitrogen. This, I knew, could break a finger clean off within seconds. I had to stop myself from laughing. Fucking perfect! I grabbed the vials and put them in the inside pockets of my duffle coat, grinning coldly.

The door knob shook violently, and I gasped in horror. 'Oh no! Oh no! God, please!' I swallowed back the tears, crawled under a nearby gurney and curled in a ball, hoping to any god out there, anyone who'd listen, that I wasn't seen. My eyes blurred, I could just make out the thin figure of a woman, leaning over the sink to wash her hands. Thankfully I had closed the cabinet door only moments before her arrival.

'Just leave, just _leave_!' I begged. What options did I have, if I were seen? I knew my only choice would be to take _all_ the blame. No _way_ in _hell_ I would let my Assef get hurt. Five agonising minutes later, I heard the door slam, and footsteps echoing in the opposite direction. Safe.

I knew I had to get outta there. After checking that everything was as I had found it, I hightailed the fuck out of the lab, closing and locking the door behind me. Of course. It would be very odd if I didn't get a drink, so I happily bounced up to where the elderly man at the stand handed me a bottle of cola, eyes misting at the image of this sweet child. Little did he know I was having fantasies of disembowelling him right that moment.

I handed over the money, thanked him, and walked up to my brother. ''That queue was _huge_!'' I exclaimed, fabricating this as the reason I was so late.

''I guess hospitals just make people thirsty,'' Assef joked. He addressed the conversation to Dr. Behnam. ''Well, I'm going to take Saria out for her picnic now. It was so nice talking with you again. You really are a blessing to our whole family. Thank you.''

Lies, all lies. With this, Assef drew me in close, leading me out the doors. ''What ya get, sis?'' he asked.

''Oh, just some liquid nitrogen, scalpels, Ipecac, that kinda thing.'' We broke out into helps peals of laughter, almost falling over as we trudged home. ''When, _when_ can this happen? I NEED TO HURT THE LITTLE BRAT!'' I proclaimed in German.

''Soon, kiddo. Soon.'' Assef kissed my forehead lovingly. ''He'll get what he deserves. They both will. I promise.''


	31. Of Hatred and Bloodshed (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Assef told Saria that he wanted to brutally torture Farsef in order to make Aarash suffer the same pain that he did.. Saria was thrilled to learn of all the violent and disgusting plans her brother had for the young boy. Now we find her getting ready for bed...

My stomach tensed as Hamilra poked her ugly, flat-nosed head around the door of the bathroom. ''God!'' I swore loudly, reaching out and frantically grabbing a large beige-colored towel. Wrapping it around my tiny, naked frame, I glared daggers at the bitch who had the fucking _nerve_ to interrupt my privacy.

Hamilra lowered her eyes, the image of subservience. We both knew exactly who the fuck was in charge here, and I don't have to say it. ''Sorry, khanom,'' the flat-nosed cunt muttered, glancing down at her feet. I honestly wanted to punch her in the face and break her jaw, or in the very least, give her a black eye. I'm a very private individual, and really, I do _not_ appreciate having people see me in the nude.

My little hands began to clutch desperately around the towel, fearing it would not offer enough protection. Hamilra just stood there, mouth open slightly, a retarded expression on her face. I would have to let Assef know about this disrespect, so that he and I could give the proper beating later.

'Take a deep breath, Saria, do not lose your head. Calm down,' I reminded myself. I exhaled softly, and, with a voice positively dripping with malice, asked, ''And what can I do for you, Hamilra?'' The cunt seemed too afraid of me to even answer. Ha, can you believe it? A grown woman, nervous in the presence of a tiny young girl, and I use the word 'tiny' quite fucking literally.

Her breathing came in fast, erratic gasps. She knew just what the consequences of her actions would be. Lovely fantasies of ripping her jugular veins out and wrapping them round her mouth filled my head. Causing pain to others never failed to make me happy. The worthless slave babbled incessantly.

''I-I just came in to get some, er, towels to clean. Didn't know that you... you were here. So sorry. It won't happen again,'' she pleaded desperately. I wanted her to fall on her knees and beg my forgiveness for her mistake. Not that I would grant it, anyway.

''See to it that it doesn't,'' I ordered, raising a hand as if to strike her, grinning at the fear in her eyes. ''Never again.'' With this being said, Hamilra quietly took her leave, and I heard the door click shut behind her. ''Stupid fucking bitch!'' I growled loudly, angrily punching and kicking at the doorframe. Fierce, unbridled rage was the only phrase to describe the way I felt right now. How _dare_ she come in unannounced? HOW DARE SHE? Didn't she ever learn to knock? God!

I wanted to fucking disembowel her. My tiny hands balled up into fists as I spat vehemently onto the ceramic tiled floor. ''That's what I think of you, Hamilra, and one day I'll spit on your grave too.'' I chortled to myself at the thought of one day taking Hamilra's life, or at least helping my brother to do it.

When I finally calmed down, I picked up the hideous blue dress that I had been wearing, tucked it under the crook of my arm, and, with a fleeting glance behind me, stormed out into the hallway. I trembled with anger, the carpet squelching under my bare feet as I made the journey into my large, tidy bedroom. Unfortunately, since Papa and Mama were in the house, I couldn't go about throwing a fit like I wanted to.

Imagine the crap I'd get into then! You don't know how much fucking willpower it took for me not to start kicking and throwing shit around. I flopped back against the crisp sheets, letting the dripping wet towel fall away, revealing my pale body underneath. I shivered, whether from cold or anger I really don't know. It was now a week since classes had let out for the holidays, thank God.

Another three beautiful months to spend with my dear brother. I glanced at the sunflower calendar that hung above the desk. It had been a present, given to me by my disgusting cousin Fahrsan. Really, I ought to have taken it down, but I knew Mama would have a fit if I did. 'Disrespectful to his sweet and loving memory,' I knew she would say. 19 November; The calendar read. The loud wails of next door's baby rang in my ears.

It was all day and all night with him! Tears sprang to my eyes for a brief moment, as I thought about how great his mother surely felt, holding this little bundle of joy in her arms, knowing it was all her own creation. I thought about how she would be there, right beside him, teaching him how to ride a bike, how to buckle his shoes, everything.

Why couldn't I have this? Why didn't I get to cradle a newborn and feel that unconditional love running through my very soul? Now I could hardly bear to even _look_ at a child without the need to do them in. If I couldn't be a mother, well, nobody should feel that joy. Why should they experience happiness if my own womb had betrayed me?

The crying never stopped, actually, it seemed to be getting louder by the fucking minute. I angrily bit down on the pillow, muffling any screams that escaped my lips. ''They'd better shut that child up before I come over there and do it for them!'' I said in German. ''A knife across his throat would shut him up, or maybe I'd knock his brains out with a goddamn flower pot or something!''

I giggled to myself, thinking of how I could dispose of the annoyingly loud baby. I wanted to snap his neck and toss him into a fucking river. Eventually, the crying slowed, his mama's hushing getting the job done. I could hear the sound of her tired voice gently crooning a lullaby to quieten him. Did she entertain thoughts of killing him, like I did? ''Thank fuck,'' I exclaimed, padding over to the window. I moved the curtains back and looked out.

A heavy snow had begun to fall, those few idiots who had gone driving skidded on the ice. 'Crash and die! Crash and _die_!' I thought, jumping up and down. 'Perhaps I should throw one of my dolls from the window? They might think it's a baby, and there'll be a collision!' I giggled uncontrollably. One man looked frantic as he switched on his windshield wipers. His eyes nervously darted left to right.

I gazed out at each falling snowflake. God. You could liken it to a fucking blizzard! 'We'd better not get snowed in tomorrow!' I thought. Even a thing like snow, which was exceptionally beautiful, never failed to irk me. I could no longer appreciate nature since _that_ incident, but I did hope this contempt I now had for such things would pass. I had loved the snow ever since I was a little girl.

White was the color of purity, after all. The image of the ideal world I hoped to create. I couldn't help but wonder if maybe this was the reason I couldn't handle looking at falling snowflakes anymore. Was it because I had become 'impure', with Aarash's punishment? My hands made an involuntary move to where my scar rested, jagged along the edge of my neck. Tears sprang to my eyes.

''Fuck,'' I whispered. ''Why am I being like this? I should know _better_!'' Self-hatred was nothing new to me. I turned away from the window, and fell against the bed, punching my temple in a desperate attempt to fight the urge to cry. Maybe I was just overly tired. I didn't know.

The sound of Papa's footsteps echoed from outside. I narrowed my eyes menacingly at the door, hoping to fuck he wouldn't come in. The retard often burst in unannounced, wanting to ensure I'd 'said my nightly prayers' or 'cleaned my teeth' Why did my fucking cunts of parents insist upon treating me like a baby? Surely respect works two ways?

Not that I had any respect for them. I wished more than anything on this Earth that I could kill my parents right at this very moment. How I longed to push Mama down the stairs. Wouldn't it be so ironic if she died the same way as Fahrsan? Poetic justice, if you ask me. 'Maybe I could break her neck too? All in due time,' I thought.

Not wanting to have those assholes on my tail, I decided I'd better get ready for bed. My little hands gently fumbled around in the wardrobe, shifting through piles of folded clothing, until I eventually got what I wanted. I yanked out the white and pink rosebud nightie, cursing loudly as a huge fucking pile of dresses and t-shirts came out, littering the floor. My eyes narrowed and I kicked them away. ''I'll tidy up later,'' I resigned myself.

I trembled all over as I pulled the nightgown over my head, letting the warm cotton fall against my pale legs. I shivered; tonight was going to be fucking chilly. At least I didn't have to worry about homework, school, or bitches like Ahtrai. She was going to be spending the first month of winter in the Karteh Char district, visiting relatives her family had left behind over there.

Thank fuck, I didn't think I could handle Ahtrai's cruel teasing any longer. Even the mere sound of her name was taboo. She needed to learn her place, and I was certain I would one day be the right person to teach her. Ahtrai better watch out come Spring time, I'll take no crap from her or anybody else for that matter. I intended to remain in control of those girls for as long as I had to.

I would mould each of them into _my_ image! Assef and I would have the perfect Kabul that we had dreamed of since our childhood. I felt my heart warming at such a joyous thought. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, I leaned down and removed my white socks. I tossed them over my shoulder, glanced round, and found they'd made the basket. 'Yes!' I pumped my fist. Yawning, arms stretched over my head, I lay back and snuggled against the downy pillow, my eyes growing heavier and more listless with each passing second. It didn't take long for them to close, and for the joy of sleep to overcome me.

_Assef and I walk through the forest. I'm dressed in a stunning white pinafore, him in casual jeans and t-shirt. I can feel his fingers, gently squeezing mine. A profound sense of calm washes over me. Birds chirp from up above, twigs snap under our feet. Assef gently places the back of his hand against my cheek._

_''It's pretty here,'' I say._

_He nods. ''I knew you'd like it, kiddo.'' I drop Assef's hand, run deeper into the woods, my hair falling into my eyes as I prance, arms out wide. I'm so fucking happy in this moment. So happy._

_I pick up some leaves and toss them high above me, giggling. ''You having fun, my sister?'' Assef calls over, leaning against a giant oak tree, hands in his pockets. I nod, grinning like the cat who got the cream._

_''Come play with me, Assef jan!'' I beckon. ''Come on!''_

_He rolls his eyes. ''Well, alright then.'' Assef has only taken a mere five steps towards me, when I notice the huge figure looming behind him. Eyes black and cold, an expression of pure evil on his face. The devil himself. Aarash. 'LOOK OUT!' I want to scream, but, as with every nightmare, I can't._ _My throat has gone dry. With a feral snarl, Aarash pushes my brother onto the hard ground. Assef growls, arms flailing and legs kicking, but he's no use for Aarash, who now seems to be one hundred times stronger than him. Within moments, Aarash has my brother pinned, and is straddling him, one knee wedged against each side of his chest._

_My eyes widen in absolute horror as he reaches into the left pocket of his grey jacket and materialises a small knife. The very blade he caused my grotesque injuries with. I can feel my heart almost stop in my chest. I'm trying so fucking hard to get to my brother, to push him out of the way, and take whatever pain that comes for myself, but I can't._

_Oh crap, it's like my feet are stuck to the ground. Aarash notices the petrified look on my face and smiles cruelly. He raises the knife, and I scream. Never in my life did I hear a sound more terrifying than that of Assef's gargled chokes. My brain tells me to look away. I watch, frozen, as the knife enters and leaves his chest about 20 times. Stab. Stab. Stab._

_Assef begins having convulsions, his legs kicking futilely at the ground. ''ASSSEFFFFFFFF!'' I scream, willing my feet to run. Aarash laughs sadistically, his eyes glowing with joy. He turns, eyes locking on mine. Raises the blade again. ''NO! NOOOOOOO!'' is all I can say._

_Assef turns his face towards me, and I can see the absolute horror in his blue eyes. I've never seen anything like it. My dear brother should not wear such an expression. I feel bile rise in my throat. ''ASSEF! ASSEF!'' The strangled cries escaping my lips aren't real. They can't be. None of this is real. I feel my knees buckling underneath me._

_''Look, Saria jan. your brother flops just like a salmon out of water. Isn't that funny?'' Aarash calls over. He plunges the knife so deep into Assef's throat all I can see is the fucking handle._

_''Please, please STOP!'' I beg, collapsing in a heap, arms wrapped round my stomach. I hunch forward on the ground, wanting to disappear. ''NO! OH GOD NO!'' I yell. Aarash cocks his head slightly, dipping his middle finger into the open wound. He flips me off, Assef's red blood dripping onto the green, autumnal leaves. ''OH GODDDDDDD!'' My throat hurts, yet I continue to scream._

_Please, God, don't take my Assef. Not him. Anyone but him. Don't you see how I can't live without him? Aarash pulls the knife from Assef's jugular. My brother twitches slightly, let's out a horrified gasp of, 'Saria' and then, I watch his fingers uncurl, his stainless-steel brass knuckles making little noise as they hit the ground. Aarash raises an eyebrow, leans down, and pockets them._

_''Nice souvenir, Assef. Tashakor.'' I feel numb inside. Let him kill me too. I'll beg for death; I'm already on my knees. But Aarash is too cruel for that. He'll make sure I'm forced to go on living without my brother. Now I make plans to hang myself, drown myself. Whatever it takes so I'll go to where Assef is. ''See you around, half-German whore.'' Aarash waves evilly as he meanders back the way he came, revelling in the sweet taste of his victory._

_I can't breathe. I can't fucking breathe. My legs_ finally _starting to work again, I half-crawl to where Assef lies dead on the ground. I reach out, touch his hand. It's ice cold, and sticky with blood. His eyes are rolled back in his skull, exposing the bloodshot whites. I wish I knew CPR, though I doubt it would do much fucking good. ''Assef...'' I croak out, nudging him slightly. ''Assef, brother, please wake up.'' He doesn't respond._

_Blood spurts from the wound in his throat. I gently stroke his forehead, tears pooling over in my eyes. ''Please, no, God, no!'' I moan, laying my face against his chest, saturating it with my tears and his blood. I feel physically sick. I've failed the only real friend and loved one I had._

_It's such a visceral, dreadful feeling. ''BROTHER! OH GODDDD! OH MY GODDDD! ASSEFFF!'' I howl. ''I'm sorry, dear God, I s should have... Oh no, please, I'm s sorry.'' It's my fault. Aarash killed Assef because of me. All my fault. I'm such a pathetic excuse for a sister. The ugliest little girl on this Earth. Yet, my wonderful brother still gave his precious life for me._

_''I'M SORRY ASSEF! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I LOVE YOU!'' I lie my body down, arm wrapped tight round Assef's chest, my pretty hair dripping with fresh red blood. I scream his name over and over, with no response._

''FUCK!'' I cursed loudly in German, jerking upright suddenly in bed, my eyes darting every which way. I placed a hand over my chest, trying to stop my abnormal breathing. My tiny fists pounded against the duvet cover, as I trembled in fear. I retched about six times, bile dribbling from my chin onto my white nightie. Bowing my head down, I tried so fucking hard to bring myself to reality.

''Shit!'' I swore. ''Just a fucking dream.'' My heart was beating one hundred miles per hour. ''Aarash, why can't you leave me alone? Must you haunt my dreams too?'' I buried my head in my knees, rocking back and forth like someone in the damn psych ward. What the fuck is _wrong_ here? Desperate to calm myself, I staggered towards the wall, my hands gripping the plaster, and flicked the light on. I stared around in complete disdain at the _goddamn_ baby's room I was forced to live in.

I grabbed a rag doll that had been resting at the end of the bed, and, screaming with rage, flung it at the door. ''OH MY FUCKING GODDDD!'' I could hardly speak for crying. I needed my brother. I NEEDED ASSEF! Terror and dread filled my heart, I could hardly see, my eyes were blurred with tears, and my shaking little hands jittered, tugging at the oak wooden door.

I flung it open, using such brute force that I went flying, and ended up whacking my chin against the floor. Well. That was going to leave a serious carpet burn. Not that I gave a shit right now. My legs ached, I nearly fell over twice before managing to stand and lean against the railings. 'You can do this, Saria. Come on.' I really didn't know why I was so fucking upset.

I've had bad dreams like this since Aarash kicked the everliving crap out of me all those months ago. Why should I get freaked out _now_? Maybe it was the idea that perhaps my dream had come true, and I'd find Assef lifeless in his bed. 'You're being retarded, Saria. Dreams are _not_ real. God, how much of an idiot are you?' Try as I might, I just wasn't able to convince myself.

It was so real. So palpable. My legs seemed to have turned to jelly, and my chest ached, every breath hurting more than the last. I knocked feebly on the door to Assef's room. Normally I'd come bursting right in, but tonight was different. Some part of me was afraid that if I did so, I'd find my brother dead on the floor. About ten seconds (it felt like ten _hours_ ) later, I heard the doorknob rattle. With a concerned look in his tired eyes, Assef materialised. He narrowed his eyes slightly. ''Kiddo? What is it?'' I stood frozen, like ice. Heart thumping. There was a slight buzzing noise in my left ear. Assef folded his arms, gazing down at my trembling body in concern.

''B-Brother..'' I extended my arms towards him. ''ASSEF!'' I wailed, lurching forwards and collapsing against him. Assef exhaled in surprise as the two of us careered downwards, his body landing with a thump on the ground. ''Assef, m-my brother, oh G-God!'' I repeated over and over.

Assef managed to sit up on his elbows and lifted my head from off his chest. ''Saria Adelah Ahmed, what in the world has gotten into you?'' he asked, mock-sternly. I couldn't speak for crying. Assef wrapped his arms underneath my knees and picked me up bridal-style. He cradled me like a newborn in his arms. ''Let's get up off the floor and then we'll talk about it, okay?'' I nodded as best I could.

''Alrighty then. One, two, three.'' Assef managed to stand - with me gripping his pyjama shirt for dear life - and walk to his bed. He sat down with me on his knees. ''Shh, come on now, kiddo, don't... Talk to me, honey, what's wrong? Is it another nightmare?''

I nodded, taking his hand in mine. ''A-Aarash ... in the woods, k-killed... He stabbed you in f-front of me. I had to w-watch you die!'' I clung desperately to my brother.

''Kiddo,'' he exhaled. ''Shh, it's okay. It's okay. It was just a bad dream. Nobody's going to hurt you or I. Shhh, honey, everything's going to be fine.''

''I don't ever wanna lose you, Assef jan. You hear me? Never.'' Assef pulled the covers back and lay me down. He slid in next to me, tucking us both in.

''I know, Saria. I know. But I'm not going anywhere, right? Just close your eyes and go back to sleep. I'm here, sister, and I'm never leaving you.'' He leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. ''I love you. So much.''

I buried my head in his chest, sobbing like a fucking toddler. ''I love you too, big brother.'' My eyes began to grow more heavy and listless. Still, I remained too afraid to close them, panicked my Assef would be hurt if I did. I felt him shifting next to me, his breathing getting more laboured by the minute. He closed his eyes, the grip of his fingers loosening around mine.

I shook him violently back into consciousness. ''Wake up! Assef, WAKE UP! BROTHER PLEASE!'' Assef jumped at the sound of my voice.

He turned, eyes narrowing. ''Why are you still awake?'' he asked irately, giving me a very annoyed look. I began whimpering, jumping at every loud noise that came from outside. Assef sighed deeply, gently kissing my cheek and nuzzling me. ''I'm not going to die, Saria. Okay? It was just a horrible nightmare and it's not real. I'm right here, and I _promise_ , I'm not leaving you. just... Just try and get some sleep. Please?''

I looked deep into his blue eyes, so much like my own, and heaved a great big sigh. ''I'll try. Promise me you won't leave though? Can you do that?'' Assef rolled his eyes playfully, jabbing me in the ribs. I giggled and squirmed.

''Now, where else do you think I'd go, Sar? This is my room, after all, kiddo.''

''You're right,'' I yawned, my eyelids beginning to droop. ''Goodnight, Assef. See you tomorrow.'' I murmured.

''Night,'' he replied groggily, already half-asleep. It must have been around two or three in the morning. Four at the latest. I watched Assef drift off, his chest rising with every breath he took. I had to make sure he was alright. Stupid of me, yes? But I loved my brother more than anything. Losing him terrified me. Now, who can call me a demon or psychopath when I feel love as strong as this? I leaned over and kissed my brother's cheek. He grunted in his sleep, but didn't wake.

'Hopefully tomorrow'll be fucking better,' I thought. My body went limp as I put my arm round him, sleep getting to me at last...

I woke next morning to the very fucking annoying sound of my parents thumping around downstairs. Why, I had no idea. I clenched my fists, wishing I could just scream at them to keep it the fuck down. Beside me, Assef rolled over onto his stomach, his arm draped across my waist. I gently brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes. The clock on the wall ticked endlessly above us.

I turned, got on my knees, and craned my head to look at it. 9:45. Yeah, we both are going to be in shit for waking up late, but I couldn't really give a hoot. I doubted we'd gotten much rest the night before. ''Kiddo?'' Assef muttered sleepily, hoisting himself up onto his knees as well. ''What are you doing _now_?'' The sharp tone in his voice let me know he was nothing short of pissed off.

''Just checking time. Good morning, Assef jan.'' He lay back down.

''Yeah, good morning, Saria.''

''Did you sleep well?'' I asked, lying next to him.

Assef turned, glaring daggers at me. ''Well, to be perfectly honest, sister, I was half-afraid to go to sleep in case you'd think I was fucking dead!'' he grumbled. For this I honestly felt guilty. I've always said my brother is the only person I could never hurt, and I felt quite peeved with myself for causing him even the slightest of upset.

''I'm sorry, Assef jan. I didn't mean to keep you awake.''

''Whatever. You would hope a twelve year old would know the difference between real and nightmares, but, clearly not. Idiot.'' My eyes began filling with tears. I slammed my fists onto the duvet.

''I really don't know w-what in the fuck is my problem, Assef. I'm sorry that I kept you up.'' A tense silence fell over us both. I felt a tear make its way down my cheek.

''Kiddo,'' his expression softening, Assef reached over and gently wiped it away with his thumb. ''Sorry, dear. I'm just a bit cheesed off, you know how I get when I don't sleep. After what happened to you, you have every right to be fearful. If I dreamed about losing you, I'd probably react the same way.''

''Stupid,'' I chastised myself, kicking and punching at the sheets. Assef caught hold of my wrists, pulling me towards him.

''No, you're not. You had a dreadful ordeal, and you're just reacting to that. I didn't mean to get frustrated and call you an idiot. Okay? I apologize for that.''

He did sound genuinely remorseful. I reached up and kissed his cheek lovingly. ''That's fine, Assef. I'm sorry for waking you.''

''This is Aarash's fault, kiddo. All his fault. You just remember that. Now, I think you and I ought to get up, lest Mother go apeshit on us.''

I nodded. ''Righto then.'' I swung my legs around the side of the bed. ''See you in a minute.''

''Get dressed before you come down,'' Assef reminded me. ''Maybe that rainbow dress you have.''

I rolled my eyes and sprinted towards the door. ''Ha, that abomination? Not a hope!'' I darted out into the hall. I truly did feel in better spirits after last night. Like Assef had said, the only person to blame for my traumatic state was Aarash.

Even thinking of him made me clam up. 'He'll pay for what he did to you, Saria. A very high price,' I thought, cruel smile marring an otherwise pretty face. My bed remained unmade, just as it had when I'd abandoned it for my brothers the previous night. I quickly fixed it up, and set about the irritating task of choosing my dress for today. No matter what, I'm going to look a fool.

God, twelve and a half, nearly _thirteen_ and yet, people still mistake me for eight. Nine at the oldest. Why couldn't I just _grow_ like normal children? Although... maybe being tiny has its perks. I can play innocent, which is good. Opening the wardrobe doors, I thought about how I probably might not reach full development for another ten or twelve years. I fucking hated it. After five minutes of tedious searching, I picked out a light pink dress, with ruffles on the skirts, a large bow, and loose sleeves.

I grumbled irritably as I yanked it on over my head, taking care not to pull any hair out. It fell just below my knees, the skirts moving whenever I took a fucking breath. I reached behind to tie my ribbon. White tights and black pumps completed the look. I hurriedly ran a brush through my fucking knotted curls and tied it into pigtails, with ribbons on each side.

So goddamn ugly. I narrowed my eyes at the reflection looking back at me. Assef clicked his tongue, making his way into the room. He snuck up behind me, and dug his fingers into my sides. I jerked, and twisted, howling with laughter.

''Ah! STOPPPP itttt!'' I begged.

Assef wrapped his arm round my shoulder and drew me in close. He ruffled my hair. ''Your laugh is so adorable though,'' he joked. ''Besides, I love making you happy, kiddo.'' Assef gently squeezed my fingers, smiling.

''You coming downstairs?''

I nodded. ''Let's go then.''

''Assef?'' I said.

''Yeah, kiddo?'' he asked, cocking his head to the right. ''I love you from the moon to the sky.''

''And I love you from the moon to the end of the universe.'' Assef replied. We used to say this a lot as young children, and still did, from time to time. It was just another of our cute brother/sister things. Like how Assef calls me 'kiddo' or how we go on 'just becauses' sometimes. Assef grabbed my hand, and we both trekked downstairs. I could just about hear the faintest cries emanating from the kitchen.

''Somebody's upset,'' I muttered, glancing up at my older brother.

''Yeah.'' My interest was piqued, but I had to control it. For me to walk in there grinning like the Cheshire cat would be hugely inappropriate. I remained stoic as I pushed open the door to the kitchen and stepped inside. I was met by the sight of Papa hurriedly buttering up toast, and Mama perched on the edge of a stool, her face buried in her hands.

She didn't even notice or acknowledge our arrival. 'Alright bitch, I'm gonna tug on your heartstrings,' I thought. Feigning sadness, I traipsed over and crawled onto her lap. ''Mommy?'' I asked, wrapping my arms round her neck. ''Are you crying? Why, Mama?'' She rubbed at her eyes with the heel of her right hand. Her face was blotched with tears. Dumb cunt.

Mama pushed me back, it was obvious she wanted to be alone. ''Come here, daughter,'' Papa beckoned. I nodded, the image of respect, and hopped down. I kept my head lowered as I walked towards him. Papa sat down, and, reaching out, placed me on his knees. He gripped my shoulders tightly.

''Assef, come here too. We must speak with both of you.'' Assef came to stand next to him, curiosity high. Papa's eyes moved between us, ensuring we both gave our complete attention. ''Assef, Saria..'' he began. ''I'm going to take your mother up to Islamabad for the rest of the weekend. We both agree this is the only way for us to gain closure from your cousins death. Mama..''

He glanced over at her. ''Mama wants to reconcile with her sister. Hopefully, with the grace of God, we'll be able to... Well, to have Stella and Shareem's forgiveness.'' I almost rolled my eyes. This was pure fucking irony, wasn't it? Here was my father, talking about apologizing to Stella, not knowing his nephew's murderer was cuddling up to him.

Looking up, I felt crocodile tears brim over in my eyes. I was fantastic at making myself cry at will. ''Assef, you're going to be in charge of the house. We'll be going in about maybe, quarter of an hour, and coming back next Tuesday.''

''Yes, Father. I'll take care of Saria jan.''

Papa tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, gently kissing my forehead. ''I'm making toast. Do you want some?'' As soon as he opened his mouth, I could hear my stomach begin to rumble loudly. I giggled childishly, placing a hand over my mouth. ''I take that as a yes, my daughter.'' He reached out and poked my tummy. I squealed and jumped from his lap.

Mama got up from her chair, plodded over to the sink, and filled up a glass of water. Her nose was all runny and her eyes were bloodshot from crying. I had no empathy for her plight. Fucking retard. ''Go and sit down, kids,'' Papa ordered. We did so begrudgingly. Meal times with my family (except my brother) were one thing I could do without. I fucking _hated_ the sight of Mama and Papa.

I wanted to cut both of their throats with a blunt knife. I jumped onto a stool and Papa handed me the toast. ''Here you go, Saria.''

''Why thank you, Papa.'' Before I could start eating, he leaned over and placed a gentle hand on my back. ''Now, Saria, I want you to behave yourself this weekend. I expect you to get at least five to six pages of work done. Is that understood?'' Nodding, I wolfed down my food, taking care to ensure I didn't spill any on myself. ''Good girl. I just want you to have the best education, sweetie. You know that, don't you?''

I nearly frowned at him, but I managed to keep my smile. ''Yes, Papa. I know.'' His eyes met mine. For about two long minutes, we just stared at each other. Eventually, Papa clapped me on the shoulder and turned towards his distraught wife. ''Get your coat, my love, we'll need to set off now.'' Mama nodded, struggling to compose herself.

''A-alright, Mahmood. Good bye, Saria, Assef. Take care of yourselves.''

Papa gently kissed her on the lips, his expression soft. ''I know you don't want to do this, darling, but I truly believe it can help you gain closure. Isn't that... Don't you want closure?'' She looked up at him, on the verge of a mental breakdown.

''I... You're right, love. This is my fault. I owe my sister an explanation. No, I owe her far more than that...'' Mama glanced back at Assef and I. ''You're so lucky to have each other, don't ever forget that.''

Assef reached out and hugged me tight. ''I know. Look after yourselves, see you on Tuesday.''

''Bye.'' With this said, I got down from my chair and meandered out into the hall. I didn't want to be around my idiotic parents for one more second. As I casually traipsed upstairs, I heard the door slam, and Papa reverse the car out of the driveway. Mama was still crying.

'I hope the car overturns and they burn to death inside,' I thought maliciously. I laughed at such a cruel thought as I skipped into my room. It was as clean as I had left it earlier. Tidiness was something I always prided myself on. I flopped back onto the neatly made up bed, and covered my face with my hands, whole body trembling with laughter.

Thinking of killing people (even members of my own family) never failed to put a smile on my face. I reached into my drawer and pulled out the old, worn copy of the Shahnamah. The pages were beginning to fray around the edges. I opened it, and snickered when the pages fell right onto my favourite tale; Rostam and Sohrab. I reveled in the thought of murdering one of my kin.

After all, this whole planet is expendable to me. I could toss anybody out like garbage, I mean, everybody apart from my older brother. Nothing could make me hurt Assef. _Nothing_. I drummed my fingers against the bed covers as I read. 'Probably ought to kick off my shoes too, but who cares? Mama's not here to lecture me, is she?' I thought. There was no fucking hope that Stella would ever accept Mama back as her sister. Assef jan and I might be able to take Fahrsan's life lightly, but she never would. I guess not everyone can love their siblings as fiercely as I love Assef.

''Kiddo?''

'Speak of the devil,' I thought, whipping around to face my brother, eyes lighting up. He came to sit next to me, picking me up and cradling my tiny form on his lap. I relaxed against him, gently nuzzling into his chest, smiling. ''Hey,'' I mumbled. ''I've been thinking about Mama and Khala Stella.''

Assef raised his eyebrow. ''Yeah, what about them?'' I rolled onto my back and lay my head on Assef's knees.

''It's a bit of a wasted effort for them to be going up there. You and I both know full well that Stella's not going to forgive Mama. Fahrsan's dead because of her idiocy.''

''And his own idiocy, remember that. He dared to lay a hand upon my sister, now the little cunt's burning in fire.''

''Yeah. I hope Fahrsan's being tortured right as we speak.'' Assef laughed, dancing his fingers over my scalp. I closed my eyes, revelling in the ecstasy of bonding with him. Now we had close to four days to spend together. It brought a smile to my face. Assef rubbed up my arm. He took my hands and gently lifted me upright. There was a cheeky look in his blue eyes.

I pursed my lips, unable to read him. ''You thinking what I'm thinking, little sister?'' Assef cuddled me tightly, placing the back of his hand against my cheek. ''We have four days to ourselves. So today, let's put all the hard work into action. Hmm? Let's make Farsef and his brother pay for their crimes.''

My eyes widened, so much, in fact, I thought they might pop right out. I gaped at my brother, clasping my little hands together as if I was praying. I bounced up and down on Assef's knees, unable to speak from excitement. ''Do you mean it? _Today_?'' I managed to gulp out between laughter. Assef nodded, his eyes sparkling.

''Yes. Today.''

I shrieked loudly, almost falling on my ass in the heat of the moment. So very happy. I jumped up and began dancing around the room, my dress flowing with every shake of my hips. I spun round, arms wide, on tiptoe. ''Yes! YES!'' Assef came up behind me, picking me up and whirling me around.

We both grinned at each other. ''Do you have the medicines, kiddo?'' Assef wondered. I nodded, bending down to lift the covers and reach under my bed. I slid away the loose plank of wood that my dumb father ought to mend, and began yanking at the pink rucksack inside.

''Come on! STUPID FUCKING THING! COME OUTTTTT!'' How amazing was it that I could flip between emotions in a second. Pure joy to utter frustration.

''Need any help with that?'' my caring brother offered, reaching out to grip the straps on the bag. We both pulled hard. ''This thing's a dead weight, kiddo. Do you have a body stuffed in here?''

We looked into each other's eyes. Cracked up. ''I'll be a three time killer once my revenge is complete.'' I was undoubtedly sure of this fact. Assef kissed my head, a gentle look on his face. He got to his feet, walking towards the half-open door.

''Wait right there,'' he said. I rolled onto my stomach, kicking my legs.

''This another surprise?'' I asked.

''Maybe. Maybe not.'' With that, he left the room, singing an old German tune under his breath. _Finally_ , I managed to yank the rucksack free, hurriedly unzipping it and dumping the contents onto the floor. The Ipecac rolled away from me, but I quickly stuck my foot down on top of it. My eyes were bright as I surveyed the equipment laid out in front of me. Yes, fucking awesome. I picked up a long syringe, running it through my fingers. What, exactly, could be done with this I had no idea.

Oh, I'm sure Assef would help me think of _something_. My precious brother always knew just the right ways to make someone hurt. Five or six minutes went by, and then, smiling coldly, Assef reappeared, a large bag in his arms. It was dark green in color with a faded Swastika drawn on the front of it, right where the pocket for money ought to be. Assef knelt down beside me, letting it fall with a thump on the ground.

''I'm supposed to use this as a PE kit, but it'll work for you, kiddo.'' He unzipped the bag, pulling several long cuts of rope out and twirling them between his fingers. ''Are we gonna restrain 'em with that?'' This was probably an idiotic question, yes, but Assef didn't seem to notice or even really care.

He's always told me I'm the _only_ person who gets to ask stupid questions. ''Chi? Oh, yes, Sar, we'll bind them with this.'' He leaned his head against mine, slinging an arm round my neck. ''I promise you I'm going to bring Aarash to his knees. You'll get the apology you deserve.'' I sat up, crawling over to retrieve the hospital supplies.

Ignoring the rough carpet, I brought them over to Assef. He smiled as he lay them methodically in the gym bag, just like someone would organise their newborn's bottles. This was imperative for us to get the revenge we so desired. God, I could hardly keep a fucking lid on my excitement! Assef had to reach his arm out to stop me bouncing off the fucking walls. My fingers waved excitedly, heart thumping quickly in my chest. I looked up, joyously, at my dear brother. ''Go and fetch another pinafore, and some gloves, kiddo. You'll need it.'' I didn't need to be a fucking genius to realise he was talking about the bloodshed I would cause.

Getting up, I skipped over to the wardrobe and chucked a navy blue pinafore with ruffles on the sleeves, black tights, and gloves. I neatly folded them and deposited them in Assef's rucksack. ''Can I get anything else?''

''Sure. Uh, hammers, knives, matches. Anything you can think of that'll cause pain,'' was his response to me.

''Ooh, yes!'' Before he could even open his mouth, I ran from the room, shrieking in joy. This was not just another childish facade. I truly did get this overexcited with regards to hurting people. Hopefully, after today, I would be able to put this incident behind me.

''You're going to pay for what you did to me, Aarash. I'll gut Farsef's ass like a deer!'' I exclaimed triumphantly as I walked round the kitchen to where Papa kept his garage tools. My eyes narrowed darkly as I picked up a large claw hammer, licking my lips.

A pack of matches rested on the worktop. Good. I snatched them up, along with some butchers knives and a potato peeler. Was I torturing someone or cooking a meal? Ha! I bolted up to my room again, kneeling down and extending my findings to Assef, still crouched over the bag.

''There you are, kiddo.'' He took the hammer from me, clearing a space for it. ''Hey, you know what I was thinking? Why don't you phone Adia jan? She might want to come join in the fun?'' Instinctively, I knew what he meant by this.

''REALLY! YEAH! I'll go phone her right _now_!'' Assef barked a laugh, ruffling my hair. I hurriedly darted into my parents bedroom, where the landline was. I picked up the receiver and dialed my bitch's number. Her timid little voice answered on the second ring. ''Hello?''

''Hello, Adia jan.'' She gasped; I could envision her holding the phone away from herself as if it were a venemous snake.

''Uh, g-good morning, Saria khanom.'' Such a respectful use of address warmed my cruel heart.

''Good morning, Adi. I'll get straight to the point. You're coming up to my house now. Mama and Papa are visiting relatives and I want my best friend to play with.'' Adia breathed out deeply.

''Cat got your tongue, Adia? Huh?'' I was getting annoyed by her lack of a decision.

Adia began stammering. ''Uh, y-yeah, cause Mommy and Daddy are g-gone away for t-the day so I'm on my own. Please let me have at least fifteen minutes to get ready.''

I squinted at the grandfather clock just beside Mama's dresser. ''See you at eleven then.'' My bitch knew how punctual I was and wouldn't _dare_ incur my wrath by being even the slightest nanosecond late. I hung up and went back to Assef.

''She'll be up at eleven.'' Perching on the edge of the bed, I kicked my legs up and down, eyes darting about the room. Assef zipped up the bag.

''Okay then. Well, I'll have to let you girls play for a while. I need to sort a few more things.'' He leaned over and brushed my fringe to one side. ''Did you pack gloves, my dear?''

''Yep,'' I gestured to the front pocket. ''In there.'' Assef nodded, slowly getting to his feet. He peered out the window, his face an emotionless mask. For about two long minutes, he just stared.

''She's early,'' he said, more to himself than me. I leaned my elbows against the window sill.

''Huh?'' I squinted.

''It's Adia. Look, she's early.'' Assef pointed to a little figure trotting up the cobbled road, her black hair tied up in a long plait.

''Well, fuck it, punctual little cunt, isn't she?'' I jumped down from the bed, running my fingers through my hair. A faint knocking sound came from downstairs. My brother picked up his rucksack, and tossed it on a nearby swivel chair.

''Go open the door, kiddo. Let our guest in.'' Didn't need to tell me twice. I raced out into the landing, thundering downstairs. Honestly, I did feel very pleased about seeing my little bitch again. Once I got my revenge on Farsef, there would be no doubt who controlled Adia. Her knocking became more insistent.

Fucking pissed me off. ''ALRIGHT!'' I growled, slamming my hand against the wooden door. I fumbled with the lock for some time (it was quite high up, and remember, I'm fucking tiny) before managing to open it. My dear Adia lowered her eyes upon seeing me, biting down on her lip.

''Adia jan!'' I exclaimed, flinging my arms round her waist. I picked her up and spun around, laughing. I truly did feel this happy.

''Hello, Saria,'' the bitch muttered, shifting from one foot to another. ''You gonna come in? We're gonna have _soo_ much fun today!'' I squealed, dragging her indoors.

''Watch out, Adia, my sister is a ball of energy today.'' Assef casually leant against the bannister, his arms folded.

I spoke out in German; ''Nur weil ich freue über einen Mord zu begehen mich.'' This meant, ''Only because I'm about to commit a murder.'' Adia had no clue as to what I'd just said, nor did she bother to ask. Ignorance would truly remain bliss for her. A bliss that would shatter into a million tiny pieces.

I took her by the hand and dragged her into the kitchen. ''I thought perhaps we might play a quick game of tennis? How does that sound?''

''Good. It sounds good.'' She nodded frantically, eager to please. I sniggered cruelly as I hauled my bitch outside, grabbing my tennis rackets as I went.

''Here. You serve,'' I ordered, tossing her the ball. Adia walked round to the opposite side of the net, bowing her head meekly.

''Don't be scared, pet, I'm not going to hurt you. You've already learned a valuable lesson from me, haven't you?'' She nodded, fingers gently tracing her stomach, remembering that fateful night. ''Come on, then. Let's play!''

We began to play, the frigid winter air circulating high above us. Adia's pleated skirt and cotton t-shirt did little to keep her warm. God. Can't the bitch dress herself properly? I know I dress weird but... At least I dress for the weather. ''Are you cold, jan?'' I asked, coming round to her side.

I hugged the bitch to me, resting my head against hers. ''Would you like to go in?'' God, Adia. Just where the fuck would you be if you didn't have me? I had to be sweet. Didn't want her to fear anything, just yet. She would be an imperative part of Farsef's torture. Lucky girl.

''Come on. I'm getting us both a drink.'' I gestured towards the kitchen. Adia hesitated, if only for a moment, then grasped my hand. Such an obedient child, wasn't she? We made our way back indoors. ''Let me get you a drink. Is apple juice okay?'' Ha. Like there was any need to ask. That girl would drink piss if I asked her to. Adia nodded, going over to the kitchen sink.

''I'll get them, Saria. Please.'' My God, the bitch is pleading to be allowed to serve me. I almost wanted to jump for joy. I sat down, crossing my legs.

''Alright. You're such a good friend. Thank you.'' She reached up and fetched two glasses from the press. I directed her to the refrigerator, where she fetched a large pitcher of apple juice. What a good little doggy. I took my glass from her, swallowing it down. ''Thank you, Adia.''

''You girls finished playing tennis?'' my brother asked, leaning casually against the door frame. He reached over, grabbing a lemon from our fruit bowl and juggling it. ''How's about we squeeze this into Farsef's wounds?'' he asked in German.

''Ja. Ja,'' I replied. Adia's eyes darted between us, not knowing how to react to our strange language. She glanced fearfully up at my older brother, chewing on her bottom lip. Assef walked over to stand next to us, muttering under his breath. He placed a hand on Adia's shoulder.

''Tell you what, Adi. Why don't you give Farsef a ring and tell him to come play? Saria never gets to spend much time with anybody her own age. Besides you, I mean.'' Adia glanced over at me. Her voice rose an octave.

''Saria, I...'' she exhaled deeply, not wanting to incur my legendary wrath. Slowly, and with a fearful look in her eyes, she got to her feet. ''Um, where is your phone?'' Assef smirked at me; our games were about to begin.

''There's one out in the hall. Go and phone him.'' As my bitch made her way over to the mahogany table, lifting the receiver, I couldn't help but feel a tad anxious. What if Aarash answered the phone? Would Adia be able to control her fear, or would she give the game away? I bit down hard on my knuckles as she dialed the number.

Do I even need to say how much of a Roulette Gambit this whole plan was? Adia turned, her eyes meeting mine. ''It's ringing!'' she mouthed. I nodded in satisfaction. About three long minutes later, I heard a timid male voice say, ''Hello?''

''Hello, F-Farsef, it's Adia,'' my bitch stuttered, leaning against the desk. ''I'm, uh, I'm in Saria's house at the moment. You know, Saria Ahmed?'' Farsef muttered something inconspicuously. ''What? Oh, uh, yes. Yes. She wants you to come play with us. When? Oh, um..''

Adia glanced over at me. ''Now. If you can.''

'And if you can't I'll fucking _drag_ you over here,' I thought. Adia bent her knees. She inhaled, tapping her shoe against the floor, waiting. Just waiting. I remained still, my heart thumping in my chest. I placed a clenched fist up to my mouth, filling with tension. It all rested on his decision.

Obviously I couldn't just march up to his house and drag Farsef out. Not that I would anyway- I was still terrified of Aarash. And who could blame me? He beat me within an inch of my life! I got so lost in my own thoughts, I didn't even notice Adia placing the phone down, and running to my side.

''He's on the way! Farsef's on the way!'' She grabbed my hands and we both jumped up and down excitedly, squealing like crazy people. Nothing but a false show on my part. Assef chortled at my over exuberance. He leaned forward, so putting his mouth close to my ear.

''Kiddo, Father has a revolver in his study. Go and fetch it and some bullets,'' he whispered, in our mother's native tongue. I turned, addressing the conversation to my little bitch.

''Adia, I just need to fetch something. You go and wait by the door, just in case Farsef comes before I'm ready.'' Adia nodded obediently and sauntered off.

I didn't often go into Papa's study, in fact, the last time I had been in there was, well, the day after I met Adia. You know, when I had thrown that fit? Even now, all these months later, it still felt weird stepping in there. Unlike his youngest child, Papa was not an organised individual.

Chaos. That's what I'd describe it as. Absolute fucking chaos. Newspapers littered the floor, half-drunk cups of tea and coffee rested on every available surface. I waded through the crap, and snatched up the keys. 'Idiot, who just leaves things like this where _anybody_ can _find_ them?' I thought. I could hear the faint sound of a person's knuckles rapping on the door.

My heart soared. I fumbled with the keys as I giddily unlocked the safe, grabbing a handful of bullets. I placed one into the barrel of the gun, and shoved the rest into my pockets. With this done, I made sure everything was as I had found it, then bounced up the stone steps to Adia and Farsef in the kitchen. I grabbed the young man up in a warm embrace, stroking the back of his dark hair. ''It's nice to see you again, Farsef jan,'' I spoke loudly, making allowances for him being half-deaf. The ignorant little shit pushed me away from him, eyes narrowing.

''Hello, Saria. Thank you for inviting me up to your home,'' he said in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. Glancing out the doorway, I noticed my brother standing in the hall, receiver pressed to his ear. I gestured for the others to stay put, and went to stand beside him.

''Kamal,'' he mouthed, gesturing to the phone with one hand and stroking my blonde hair with the other.

''Good,'' I responded.

Assef began speaking in a very demanding tone. ''Kamal, it's Assef. I want you to do something for me. Saria and I are going up to the woods. You and Wali meet us there. Oh, and bring Mirwais.''

Mirwais was Kamal's empire scorpion, he'd bought him as a pet back when they were children. I knew how attached he was to the little monster. Still, Kamal wouldn't _dare_ to anger my brother. Who's names were carved upon his skin? I could picture his terrified face in the back of my mind. Fucking little cunt. Assef heaved an impatient sigh, chewing on his bottom lip. He tapped his wrist, sort of like a person does when checking the time. Finally, Kamal gave an answer.

''Um, o-okay, Assef. I'll be r-right there. And I'll bring Wali, a-and Mirwais.'' Assef nodded.

''Good. See you there. Tell no-one about this, understood?'' Kamal gulped; he must know something is about to happen. What could he do about it, though? He was just another pawn for us to exploit. Another worthless slave.

''Of course. See you,'' he responded, and I heard the 'click' of the phone being put down on his end of the line. My brother and I smiled mischievously at each other. There was no time like the present, as the saying goes. Farsef gulped in fear as Assef strode towards him, catching the front of his green plaid shirt, and leaning in towards his face.

''Here's what _your_ going to do. Phone your brother, and tell him to come meet us in the woods. The one with the pond. Don't tell him who you're with, am I clear?'' he half-barked at the child. Farsef nodded, too afraid of my brother to do much else. You don't refuse an order from someone who ripped your ear off. Well, not unless you're an idiot.

Assef looked at me, his eyes twinkling, both of us quietly sharing in a private, macabre joke. Farsef turned, walking out into the hall, shoes clacking with every fucking step. ''Why don't you run upstairs and get the bags, kiddo?'' Assef told me, glancing out at Farsef.

Adia's brown eyes widened, and I saw her mouth, ''Bags?'' I rolled my eyes but didn't answer her. Farsef gave me a sad smile as I thumped up to my room, catching the bags in my hands (Fucking weight!) and lugging them all the way downstairs. I tensed up at hearing Aarash's voice coming over the line.

''What? In the forest? Damn it, Fars, why? God, I'm busy!'' Assef drew a line across his throat with his index finger, a cold look in his eyes.

''Please, my brother. I have.. a... a surprise.'' Farsef's voice crackled on the last word. It was almost like he was _scared_ of Aarash. Not that I could blame him, but still - who'd honestly be afraid of their own flesh and blood?

''I'll come. See you in a minute, Fars. Yeah, I love you too. Bye.'' Farsef slammed the phone down, and came back into the kitchen. Adia reached over and took his hand. 'Isn't that sweet?' I thought sarcastically, quickly grabbing my long black overcoat and pink rucksack. Assef took my hand, squeezing my fingers gently, and flung the gym bag over his shoulder. He inclined his head, ushering Adia and Farsef out the door.

There was a silent, tense atmosphere, just like a pin dropping, as we led our newest victim out into the forest. Farsef and Adia clutched hands, walking beside us in trepidation, probably scared my Assef or I would attack each time we rounded a corner. The little friendship they'd struck up was quite endearing. Perhaps, in some alternate universe, where I did not exist, they could have been, oh, I don't know, lovers? Too bad it won't ever happen. Adia is _my_ property, and I won't hand ownership of her to _anybody_ , including a man. I was her leader, her friend, her confidant.

Nobody could take my power from me. Assef kept a firm clasp upon my little gloved hand as we strolled purposefully in the dark woods. The sunlight was fading, creating new shadows and dark patches around us. There was a light, cool breeze, whistling through each distorted tree trunk, a sense of calm in an otherwise unnerving place. Farsef hesitated, taking it all in.

''Hurry up!'' Assef snapped, dragging him along by the collar. Glancing over, I noticed my bitch shivering, and couldn't understand why. I had been filled with a profound sense of warmth since coming here. Maybe thinking about hurting Farsef just did that for me. I don't know. The trees were bare, save for the icicles dangling off even the littlest branches, and my feet slid through the icy ground.

I could just make out the large pond right in the centre of the forest. The ice had long since cracked away. I began reminiscing of times when Assef would take me sledding, back in the days of our youth. The forest became even more intimidating, the closer we got to the pond. I noticed Wali and Kamal approaching. Kamal held Mirwais' cage in one hand. My brother gestured for us all to stop.

We moved forward, hands clasped behind our backs, as we directed little Farsef against a huge oak tree. Assef looked at me, nodding. I could hear my bitch scream loudly as Assef threw himself on Farsef, grabbing his jacket and tearing it off. Between Assef and I, we managed to force the struggling child onto his knees. I reached out and tugged at his shirt.

''WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ASSEF! SARIA! WHAT?'' he yelled, batting my hands away. I tore his shirt clean off, laughing at the noise made by the popping buttons. Stripping him was quite difficult a task due to my gloves. Assef unzipped Farsef's khaki pants, while I removed his trainers and fading yellow socks.

Adia covered her eyes, wailing loudly. God, was nudity _that_ embarrassing to her? Once we had successfully removed Farsef's clothes, my brother pulled something from his rucksack, and handed it to Wali and Kamal. ''Come here and tie him up,'' he demanded. Wali's eyes narrowed. He let the rope fall into the snow. Disobedient little cunt.

He was lucky we needed him. I've always noticed Wali is less afraid of my Assef than Kamal. Speaking of Kamal, I noticed him putting Mirwais' cage safely down on a nearby rock. The little monster did unnerve me a tad. Not quite as much as those Alligator lizards, but it did. Assef leaned in close, jabbing his finger at Wali. ''Oh, problem? I don't recall you making this much fuss when it was _my_ Saria you were tying up.'' He gestured to the ropes.

''DO IT!'' he barked. Kamal and Wali knelt down in the snow, taking a piece of rope in each hand, and crawling to Farsef. He began thrashing as they held him down.

''NO! NO PLEASE! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? PLEAAASEEEE DON'T DO THIS!'' Farsef screamed, kicking desperately. ''HELP! SOMEONE HELP! ANYBODY!'' He called out, though, of course, no-one came. Adia ran forward, tripping over herself, tears dripping from her chin. She grabbed at Assef's shirt, tugging hard to get his attention. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying.

''P please, agha, please don't hurt him! Please! L-leave m my friend alone! PLEASE!'' she wailed in total despondency. Assef knocked her to the ground with a fierce backhand. She yelped and scrambled away from him.

''You shut your _goddamn_ mouth, bitch!'' Assef snarled. Once my victim was properly restrained, Assef hid behind a nearby tree, just waiting for Aarash to show up. I walked to Farsef and began kicking him mercilessly in the ribs, laughing at each yelp he gave.

''PATHETIC LITTLE CUNT!'' I repeated over and over. ''PATHETIC LITTLE CUNT! PATHETIC LITTLE CUNT! PATHETIC LITTLE CU-''

''SARIA AHMED!'' I whipped round to see Aarash running towards me, his face contorted in rage. Upon seeing his big brother, Farsef tried to get up, and, laughably, failed. ''AARASH! AARASH HELP ME! THEY'RE GONNA KILL ME!'' Aarash quickly advanced, fist raised. ''You're going to regret this, you German slut!'' he screamed.

Before he could punch me, Assef materialised behind him, grabbing the older boy round the waist and forcing him onto his knees. ''Come here, little sister,'' Assef said. I walked briskly over, grinning. Assef kicked my enemy, wrestling Aarash down so his head was bowed at my feet. ''I think you owe Saria an apology, don't you?'' He leaned down, spitting on Aarash's face. ''Go on, start grovelling.''

''To that slut? NO CHANCE! NO CHANCE IN FUCKING HELL!'' Assef began laughing insanely, putting his foot on Aarash's back.

''I don't think you get it, huh, Aarash? You see, if you don't start _begging_ my sister's forgiveness, we'll make this hurt a lot more for little Farsef. And trust me, it's going to hurt a _lot_! So, what's it gonna be? Huh?'' Aarash lowered his face into the snow. His voice cracked with utter shame.

''Saria, I-I apologise, for w-what I d did to you. It was.. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.'' Assef grabbed him under the arms, dragging him over to a nearby tree. I could hear Aarash swearing like no tomorrow. My brother quickly chained him, tying double knots in the long ropes. I walked over to Adia, picking her up and jabbing my hand at Farsef.

''You're going to help me, Adi,'' I ordered. Her fearful eyes darted between me, Farsef and Aarash. She gulped.

''W-what's going on, Saria?''

I reached into my pocket. Took out the gun. Rolled the barrel. Cocked the hammer. Pointed it right between Adia's eyes. Smirked. ''We're going to play a little game.''


	32. Of Hatred and Bloodshed (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria and Assef put the first part of their revenge plan into play by luring Aarash and his brother into the woods, where they proceed to tie them both up. Adia was terrified when Saria pulled a gun on her. We continue with the same day as the torture begins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:- Please, please read this before you start reading this chapter. This is a very violent and disturbing piece of writing, unlike any of the other chapters I have written before. It deals with severe acts of psychological and physical torture being performed on a young boy, along with threats of violence, and graphic descriptions of torture and sexual abuse/molestation. Of course, I in no way condone any of Saria or Assef's actions. I do feel, however, that the explicit content warning on this is well-earned. Now, obviously I cannot dictate to my readers what they should or shouldn't read. That is your choice. The only thing I ask is that if you are under the maturity level of 18, (or possibly 21- depending on the age of adulthood in your country) or are in any way squeamish, you do not read this chapter.

Numbness. That was all I could feel. A dull, yet somewhat piercing numbness that cut into my very soul. I was vaguely aware of someone hollering obscenities. Curse words that, if Mama ever heard me utter them, would make her collapse in a dead faint. Not that she ever will, but I digress. I couldn't tell who had screamed. Maybe Aarash. Possibly Farsef, though I highly doubted the goody two shoes _brat_ used language so vile.

It wasn't important to me, anyhow. I had completely zoned out any intrusions; The soft whimpering of the little cunt who lay bound at my feet in the snow, The petrified utterances of Wali and Kamal, The crunch of crisp snow under foot as my dear Assef paced restlessly behind Farsef, his arms hanging loosely at his sides. I was blanking it all, lost in the moment. It had finally come. Today was it. The day I had waited for, planned for, yearned for and even dreamed of ever since I had felt the hard merciless blows of Aarash's hands and feet, ever since I lain that hospital bed, and Assef told me I'd lost the ability to bare a child. All that planning. All that pain. All my suffering. it was all coming to fruition.

Soon Aarash would learn that _nobody_ fucks with Saria Ahmed. He was finally getting his long overdue comeuppance. I honest to god felt numb from the joy, anticipation, whatever you'd call this strange unrelenting feeling. I felt like everything was perfect. This is what I lived for, what I yearn for day after day. The sounds around me, Farsef's begging, Aarash's cursing, Kamal's mumbling, they're all so insignificant because, right here, right now, none of that mattered. Not one little bit. To me only two people existed in this world at this point in time. Just Adia and I.

My tiny fingers grasped the dark brown handle of the revolver and I admired it's lovely sheen. How wonderful it felt in my hands. I became lost in an almost hypnotic trance and I started to rotate the barrel, nice and gently. My tongue slid across the roof of my mouth. I began humming an old Farsi tune as I spun the barrel. once, twice, three times. In its glossy surface I saw myself and I couldn't help but smile. I looked just like the professional hit-woman I had seen in a movie Assef had taken me to see once.

Adia cowered backwards, her trembling form pressed right up against a tree, wincing as the sharp bark dug into her legs. The poor little cow was going to have serious bruising after that. My heart went out to her. Her terrified eyes never left my face as I slowly approached her. I moved forward gracefully, keeping the gun pointed directly at her forehead which glistened with sweat. Adia's hands balled up into fists. She looked around her as if silently begging for somebody, anybody , to come to her aid. Obviously nobody did. I looked around, indicating to Adia that nobody really cared about her.

Wali and Kamal turned their faces away, both suddenly becoming preoccupied with Mirwais however my brother watched us with a keen interest. His lip was curled upward, distorting his features. He nodded his head and I tightened my grip around the revolver's handle, noting just how fucking awkward the black cotton material of my gloves felt on it.

I jabbed the gun at the trembling child. Adia raised her hands above her face, trying desperately to protect herself. Stupid bitch. What did she think that would accomplish? That couldn't have stopped me let alone a speeding bullet shot at point blank range.

She must have realised how stupid she looked because she dropped her arms to her sides. Adia's face glistened with tears and her mouth moved wordlessly. She tried to back further away from me but was unable to do so, the movement driving a shard of bark into her exposed arms. She whimpered as blood welled and pooled gently down her arm.

My expression softened and I felt a strong urge to grab her, pull her close and take her as far away from here as possible. I quickly shook the thought away. She was here to help me and damn it she was going to do just that. I jabbed the gun at her again and my lips pulled back into a scowl as menacing as I could muster. ''Adia, stop this,'' I filled my voice with authority. ''You're going to help us torture Farsef, and what's more, you're going to _enjoy_ it!'' I barked. Adia shrank back in on herself, tears once again pooling in her dark eyes. She glanced over at Farsef. His whole body was now trembling from the bitter cold. She turned her head back to me, gulping and clasping her little hands together as if in prayer.

Her voice came broken and high pitched. ''Saria, I... P-please, Saria. Can't you reconsider? Please don't do this. I don't wanna see Farsef get hurt. He's m-my friend.''

'She called him her friend,' I thought, my hands shaking around the revolver. I almost dropped it, that's how tense I was. ''Please, please don't hurt my friend.'' Now I was getting very fucking annoyed. 'What the fuck does she mean 'her friend?'"

My free hand trembled at my side. I breathed in and out. I felt a primordial rage growing within me replacing the joy, eating away at the warmth, destroying the happiness I felt. That was the effect Adia's simple words had on me. The power she had over me. She called Farsef a friend. Even thinking about it made me want to scream at the top of my fucking lungs. Wasn't I supposed to be her friend? Her fucking _sister?_ The one who stood up for her when _no-one_ else did? When no one else would? How _dare she_ question me? HOW DARE SHE BRUSH ME OFF? HOW DARE SHE?

I bared my teeth like some wild and untameable monster and reflectively curled my finger round the trigger squeezing it as tightly as possible. Adia let out a high pitched yelp of fear and toppled over, landing on her ass as I shot at her. A puff of grey smoke came out and there was a loud 'pop.' I jumped backwards and almost fell to the ground. I reached out a hand to steady myself and righted myself upwards. This was the first time I'd ever used a firearm so obviously I was a bit rusty. Hopefully I'd be able to practice more in the future. When the air finally cleared, I noticed Adia had covered her head and was slumped forward on her knees with head bowed low, looking thoroughly defeated.

I loomed menacingly over her with the gun pressed up against her temple. I felt so fucking betrayed. It took all my effort not to pull the trigger again.

''You see, Adia jan? _That_ was just a fucking example of what I'll do. Now, listen good, bitch. Either you agree to help me, or I'll keep shooting until I lodge a fucking bullet in your cranium. It's your choice, you little twat.''

She opened her mouth as if to beg again but one look at my face made her shut it right up again. ''Smart move, kid,'' I muttered more to myself than to her.

Sensing her hesitance Farsef began calling out to her. His voice was full of desperation and he began inching as far away from Assef as the ropes would allow, which wasn't very far.

''Please, Adia! Please don't let her hurt me! I'm scared, Adia! Please help me! Oh God, _please!_ '' he desperately implored. I was having none of that and with a sharp nod of my head Assef silenced his tearful begging with a well-aimed kick to the ribs.

''You shut the _fuck up_ , you worthless cunt!'' he growled. A little to heatedly for my liking. He needed to keep a cool, controlled head today and no one knew better than I how quickly my brother could lose his head. ''Don't interrupt my sister while she's talking!'' Farsef hissed in pain.

Aarash struggled, twisting in the ropes that my brother had secured him with. His face contorted in rage. ''SARIA! YOU FUCKING LEAVE HIM ALONE! BOTH OF YOU! FUCKING CUNTS!'' Adia jumped, her body going rigid. Her eyes travelling back and forth between the murderous deathly look in Aarash's black eyes to the gun in my hand. She knew that both Aarash and I were capable of murder.

'Aarash isn't the one holding the gun though, is he?' I snickered to myself. Adia's gaze came to rest on me. I grabbed her chin, forcing it towards me. I squatted down so my bitch and I were level, extending a hand, palm up. I cupped her face gently, my expression softening. She may have pissed me off, but shooting at her was a tiny bit excessive. A well placed smack would have most likely done the job.

''What do you say, my dear? Are you going to help me, or do I have to make an example of you?'' I hoped she would agree with me. I didn't think I could really kill this girl if I tried. My heart thumped in my chest, as the seconds dragged on and on. I could feel my patience, as little as there was, start to dwindle. Would she? Wouldn't she? I wanted to scream the anticipation was that bad. Finally and mercifully she relented.

Adias body trembled as she caught my offered hand and her head bobbed up and down as if it was attached to a spring. ''Say it,'' I ordered. She couldn't even look in my eyes. Her long eyelashes were dewed with teardrops and her eyes were full of sorrow and dismay.

'I'll... I'll help you, Saria.'' The words came out just above a faint whisper. As she said the words she raised her head, drawing her near hate filled eyes towards mine. I felt my finger twitch and i was about to pull the trigger when she let out a sob that resounded throughout her whole body. The look of hate left her eyes and was replaced with one of great self loathing. I relaxed my finger and nodded with satisfaction. God, she must have been utterly disgusted with herself. She must have hated how pathetically weak she was, being forced into hurting someone yet again.

I shoved the revolver back into my dress pocket and grinned reassuringly with one hand on Adia's right arm and the other stroking her long, dark hair. ''There's my girl. You just sit tight, and I'll let you know when I need you.'' I released Adia, smiling kindly at her. She knelt before me, tears and snot coating her face. Helpless. Unable to do anything but obey like a servant would a master.

I leaned down to whisper in her ear, my left hand brushing a lock of dark hair away so I could be heard. ''I hope you know how to use a firearm, Adi.'' I quipped. Her eyes, bloodshot with tears, never left my own. She must have been so fucking terrified. Not that I gave a shit. Aarash had molested her, hadn't he? Stolen her innocence? Hurt her in much the same way he hurt me? I was doing her a massive favour by taking revenge on him. My brother cleared his throat loudly.

I whipped round, cocking my head sideways. He nudged the gasping Farsef with the toe of his black sneaker, eyebrow raised. I nodded. ''Enjoy the show,'' I said, loud enough for Aarash to hear. Then I turned back to Adia. I reached into my coat pocket for one of the tissues I always carried.

I extended my hand to her. "Clean your face. You look fucking disgusting.'' I didn't look at her as she accepted it, turning my hate filled gaze towards Aarash who had begun to writhe against his restraints, his back pressed against the tree, howling obscenities, spittle flying from his mouth.

''You better untie me right now, you little cunt! Or I SWEAR I'LL...''

His words were cut off by a sharp slap to the face. His head hung limply with shame for what seemed like an eternity then he raised it, focusing his hateful gaze on me. His eyes burned with an intense fury, and I heard my little Adia gasp in terror yet I was not fooled. Beneath those hateful eyes was the slight watery shimmer that always indicated the beginning of tears.

Encouraged, I raised my eyebrow, grinning wickedly at him as I slowly circled him and the tree he was bound to. Today, he was at my mercy.

''You'll what, Aarash?'' I crouched so that I was level with him. "Beat me up? Torture me?'' I paused. ''Kill me?'' My voice lowered and I stroked his face with my hand the way he had stroked mine when it was I who was bound.

The movement was tender, gentle almost, but the look in my eye was not. Aarash beared his teeth at me and I brought my hand down hard on his face. He was starting to get quite a satisfying red mark across the left side of his face. ''Did you forget I'm the one with the weapons here?'' my voice came out in a hiss and I felt Aarash tense up.

''Shh,'' I cooed, the hand that struck him once again came to rest on his face. '' _I'm_ the one calling the shots now. So you just sit here and be a good boy. I have a surprise in store for you today,'' I grinned cockily, fighting the urge to stick my tongue out like the bratty little cunt I knew Aarash thought me to be.

He glared daggers at me and I kicked him in the ribs, turning from him and slowly began approaching Farsef much like a lioness stalks her pray. I knelt down so that we were face to face. Assef placed his foot upon the boy's neck, crushing his windpipe.

''Remember what you told me, Aarash?'' my brother said as his voice became dangerously low. ''What was it, exactly? 'Your little Saria is going to pay the piper on your behalf'? Well, you made Saria pay the piper on my behalf. Now it's Farsef's turn to pay for your sins. You see Aarash, everybody here has suffered at _your_ hands. Saria, Wali, Kamal, myself. Even poor little Adi has suffered because of you. Today you will pay for every wrong you have done us.''

Aarash looked around, blinking. Assef laughed. ''Amazing how things pan out, isn't it?'' he spoke as nonchalantly as one did when discussing the weather though I knew, deep inside the burning hatred he felt for this boy was increasing with every second in his presence that he wasn't writhing with agony.

''What are you going to do to us?'' Farsef asked in a high-pitched voice, interrupting my thoughts and startling me. Up till now he had been so quiet it was as if he wasn't there. I looked to my brother, trying to judge what I should say based on his reaction. Instead of an answer I found yet more questions.

Assef was smirking cruelly, his fingers reaching for something in the back pocket of his jeans. I didn't even have to guess what it was. Farsef quickly shut his eyes, as my brother slid one half of the brass knuckles onto his left hand, flexing them on his fingers, punching the air right above the boy's nose, just to scare the crap out of him. Farsef kept his eyes tightly closed, yelping every time either one of us moved.

I grinned and couldn't help but wonder what was going on inside his head. Was he reliving the beating my brother had given him? Recalling every moment of pain he felt? I sure hoped he was. Farsef forced his lids down harder, causing the thin muscles to spasm. I frowned. I wanted to see his discomfort, revel in the fear I knew he must have felt, yet here the little cunt was, withholding such pleasures from me. Who did he think he was?

Then it hit me. A wonderfully wicked idea. I Was about to raise it with my brother when I saw him gently turn my right hand over. I felt my gloves go cold as he pressed the Knuckles into it, gently curling my fingers upwards in much of the same manner he had when I'd beaten Ara. His eyes shone brightly with an excitement that matched my own. I giggled.

It was funny how much the prospect of torturing a defenceless young boy could make us both so very happy. With a gleeful sigh I removed my gloves, and shoved them into my pocket only to find that they didn't fit. I was surprised for a moment until I remembered that I had put the gun in it only minutes ago. I took the gun out and tossed it aside. Not too far aside mind you. I would need it close for later.

Aarash spat venomously onto the ground, his eyes blazing with rage. Who's whole body was tense. ''If you lay one fucking hand on my brother, you're a dead woman! You hear me, you German _slut!_ _Dead!_ ''

I flinched into my brother. I felt his arms close around my shoulders. I couldn't see his face but I knew he must have been glaring daggers at the boy, clearly not pleased with hearing his baby sister threatened and called names.

''I'd watch your tongue if I were you, Aarash.'' He squeezed my shoulder once reassuringly then flecked his lips and growled as he bent down and began gently stroking Farsef's cheek, his devilish blue eyes locking on Farsef's petrified grey ones. ''Someone could get hurt.'' Assef almost cooed and I watched in utter glee as Farsef opened his eyes, pleading silently for his release. Assef leaned over him, a vicious look in his eyes.

''We're going to have so much fun today, Farsef jan. So, _so_ much fun,'' he teased sarcastically and ran his hands through Farsefs hair, gently tugging at the locks. The younger boy gulped audibly, squirming and wriggling against the ropes that were pulled taut on his wrists and ankles.

''Please,'' he begged, grabbing my hand as I knelt beside him. ''Please, let me go Saria. Please.''

I had to fight the urge to collapse in laughter. Ha! Let him go? What a fucking dream! What a hilarious fantasy! He curled up into a tiny ball, obviously trying to hide his nakedness from us. As an insecure person myself, I could understand the emotional shame he was going through. Not that I had any sympathy for him. I'm a psychopath, remember? Empathising with the misery of another is not in my genetic makeup.

I was just itching to make him scream. To make him beg, make his fucktard of a brother beg for their platitudinous little existences. With a sharp tug I yanked Farsef's hair back, opened my mouth and hacked a large wad of spit right into his eye. He looked as though he might vomit with disgust. Pathetic little shit. The minutes ticked by. Looking back now it Must have seemed like hours to Farsef and his older brother.

How refreshing it was to see this child in the exact position I had been in just months ago. Helpless and terrified, pulling restlessly at my bonds, wondering if I'd ever see another dawn, feel the comforting warmth of my brothers arms again. I smiled at the thought then I stretched my arms, feeling the pleasnt strain od my muscles as I cracked my knuckles. I Narrowed my eyes and Smiled again. Assef looked at me, and nodded. It was funny how we both instinctively knew what the other wanted. All siblings ought to be as close as us, don't you think?

''Have fun watching us, Aarash!'' my brother called, waving at him with a huge grin on his face.

''ASSEF!'' I heard Aarash scream furiously. ''DON'T YOU FUCKING DA..'' He was immediately cut off as I viciously slammed my brass knuckle laden fist into little Farsef's chest just below his left nipple. The boy let out a high pitched gasp of pain and my heart swelled with joy at the sight of the dark coloured bruise that was already forming. I knew there must be some real fucking damage I could have caused with just that single punch. He could possibly suffer some internal bleeding. How marvellous!

Farsef tried to reach up, to place his hand over the wounded area, but was unable to due to his bindings. I stole a quick glance at his wrists and gleefully noticed they were already quite red and marked from the bindings. In some places the skin looked almost torn. Just like mine had been. Good. I giggled in self satisfaction then looked towards his brother.

Aarash's eyes became wide in total and utter rage when he saw what I had just done. I swear, his eyes looked as though they would pop right out of his skull. God, if only! He clenched his fists, kicking violently at the tree Assef had secured him to. I knew that in that moment if he brake free he would kill me without a second thought.

'Those fucking ropes _better_ be tight enough!' I thought, rubbing my knuckles. My wonderful brother followed up my first punch with an excellent uppercut to the jaw. Farsef screamed, his pupils dilating as he tried to flip over in order to stop us from attacking him. In response, I began punching and kicking every part of his back that I could get my hands on. I raked my nails up and down like a woman possessed. I was filled to burst with rage, though I guess this needn't even be said.

Farsef's high pitched yelps echoed in the otherwise silent woods. ''Please, PLEASE STOP! YOU'RE HURTING ME! PLEASEEE STOPPPP!'' Assef laughed, placing a hand upon my shoulder, admiring the beautiful display of raw bruises and fingernail marks that I had left upon our victim's bare skin. He grabbed Farsef's shoulder, turning him on his front again. The impact of the snow against his battered torso made the little cunt howl in agony. I giggled, placing my hands over my mouth, like an immature schoolgirl. Assef began kicking Farsef repeatedly. From the looks of it he was Probably trying his best to snap a rib or two.

''It' . to .hurt. you. little. cunt.'' My brother's sentence was fragmented by blow after blow raining down on the small boy. I grabbed a fistful of hair and twisted it, bending his neck to the side. He screamed, trying to jerk away from my grasp. Aarash's eyes widened in total indignation. I began pummelling Farsef's stomach repeatedly, taking great joy in the way the brass knuckles cut into his flesh and in the way his howls of pain sounded.

''SARIAAA! LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU FUCKING CUNT! LEAVE HIM ALONE!'' Aarash screamed.

Farsef turned, looking his brother in the eye, sobbing desperately. ''Please help me, big brother. Please, I'm... I'm scared.'' His desperate cries reminded me so much of how I had behaved when it had been me in this position. It felt good to be a torturer, rather than one being tortured.

''It's going to be fine, brother. I promise you. I promise, Fars.'' Aarash tried consoling him and I had to stop myself from laughing. Everything would _not_ be fine. At least, not for him. Assef began punching Farsef in the lower torso, over and over. The little brat hissed in what must have been sheer agony.

''YOU FUCKING WHORE!'' Aarash shrieked at me as his face turned a worrying shade of red. ''IF YOU DON'T LET HIM GO RIGHT NOW I'LL MAKE YOU FUCKING SUFFER! YOU HEAR ME? YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?'' I had to laugh. I meandered around behind Farsef, knelt down and decked him right in the nose. The resounding crunch and gush of hot, dark blood told me I had broken it. Fucking wonderful!

I glared at Aarash, feeling empowered. Feeling in control. ''You see, Aarash? I'm the one with the power here. You can't do _anything_ to fucking save him. Now shut up,'' I ordered.

Assef gestured impatiently to Wali and Kamal, standing beside Aarash. ''Shut him up,'' he demanded. Wali bit his lip and his whole body began tensing up. Fuck. Was he _still_ nervous of Aarash? Did he forget who owned him? Kamal, with a terrified glance at Assef raised his left fist and swung, not aiming but somehow still managed to crack Aarash right in the face. His head moved sideways with the force of the impact and he cursed under his breath. I was delighted with his pain, both emotional and physical.

Adia was now sat cowering against a log, her eyes shut, head buried in her knees. ''No, no, God, let this be a dream, please, let this be a dream!'' she kept repeating like a fucking broken record. I was beginning to get rather cheesed off at her immature behaviour. It was rather distracting.

''Please give me one moment,'' I told my brother. He nodded as I purposefully strode towards my Adia, squatting down next to her. I grabbed her chin roughly, forcing it up. ''You watch, bitch'' I ordered. ''Let me show you what I do to those who hurt me.'' The little cunt shrank away from me, nodding, her eyes wide and full of tears. It was so great, knowing that I could still order her around. I looked at Aarash, telling him that this bitch is mine and will always be mine.

I turned on my heel and sauntered back to Assef and whispered in his ear; ''She needs to see what I'm capable of. What _we're_ capable of,'' I spoke to him in German.

Assef nodded. ''Of course, kiddo.'' I bent down, grabbing Farsef's jaw and digging my nails in. Scratches covered his face, arms, legs and upper torso. Tears pooled over in his eyes.

''Ha! Crying now? The fun hasn't even _started_ yet!'' I joked menacingly.

Assef nodded. ''That's right, Farsef. We have so much planned for you. You know, I don't think my sister and I have ever put this much effort into getting revenge before. Aren't you lucky?'' He knelt over Farsef, straddling his hips, tracing his nails over the marks I had already caused. It looked as though he had been stung by dozens upon dozens of nettles. Aarash flecked his upper lip, his eyes two cat-like slits. Much as I was loathe to admit it, I could understand what he felt.

My Assef had behaved in the same way when I was tormented. Both Assef and Aarash shared that common goal, that deep, unbridled love for their siblings. That desire to protect them. Not that I would ever mention this to Assef. I exhaled in satisfaction. Aarash's pain, Farsef's pain, it brought great joy to the dark, sadistic side of my heart. I cant describe the feeling, but I imagine it must be akin to be how a 'normal' little girl would get around the days of Eid.

Assef took Farsef's right hand, squeezing it, bending the fingers. He gripped one of the long, dirty nails, and pulled. The nail began to slowly come off, leaving behind a piece of raw, exposed and throbbing flesh.

''OH GODDDD! OH MY GODDD!'' screamed Farsef. His eyes rolled back in his skull as he trembled all over with pain.

Assef jerked his head towards me. ''You do his left hand, Saria. It's easy; just grab a nail and pull really, really hard,'' he said.

I knelt down, the hem of my pinafore becoming filthy in the yellowing snow. I would have to change later but right now that didn't matter. My tiny index finger and thumb seized Farsef's nail.

I hummed an old German tune as I pulled it off slowly, revelling in the sound of Farsef's high-pitched whimpers. One by one, I pulled each of his nails off with ease, absent-mindedly tossing them aside, onto the cold ground, like discarded leftovers. Farsef's hands twitched. His fingers, now red raw and bloody, could do nothing to protect themselves from our vicious attack.

I sneered cruelly at the thought, ripping off the final nail. Farsef bit the inside of his mouth to keep from screaming out in pain. I poked and prodded at the nail beds. Farsef's screams went up an octave, make that two octaves, as did his brother's.

'Tell me how worthless you are, Farsef. Tell me,'' I ordered the boy in a cruel yet sickly sweet tone of voice. His mouth could not form the words. It simply hung there a gaping mass of bloodied flesh. I twisted his ear again. ''SAY IT! TELL ME HOW FUCKING WORTHLESS YOU ARE! SAY ITTTTT!'' I roared, backhanding the little cunt. Finally, with tears in his eyes and a steady stream of blood running down his chin, he relented and the words that poured from his lips were music to my ears.

''I'm w-worthless. I'm s-so w-worthless, S-Saria. So v-very w-worthless.''

I smiled. ''That's right.''

''NO!'' screamed Aarash. ''NO YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS FARSEF JAN! You're not... You're not...'' he breathed heavily. Kamal ducked away, trembling all over from head to toe. He must still be afraid of what Aarash would do to him.

'Stupid cunt, Aarash isn't the one he should be afraid of. I _AM,'_ I thought irately. My body trembling with rage and I snarled like a caged beast in a zoo. Definitely, in this moment my actions and thoughts were a lot more animalistic than a normal human being's.

Kamal jumped, and nearly fell over. ''Fucking dumbass,'' Assef laughed beside me. Kamal sat down, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on Mirwais. I turned my attention back to Farsef, who had started crying again. ''Worthless piece of dog shit!'' I teased in a singsong voice, spitting in his face. ''Worthless, worthless, worthless!''

Assef joined in my relentless cruelty, hands on the boy's neck, throttling him. ''Saria's right, Farsef jan. You're nothing. You're scum. You know that, I know that, and your brother knows it as well. You should have killed yourself a long time ago, it would have saved us all this suffering. I bet Aarash would be a _lot_ happier if you _had_ died!''

''Yeah, Fars, we all know your brother hates you,'' I said truthfully, feeding him this joyful hatred.

At this, said 'brother' immediately began to contest our words, his fingers desperately clawing at the ropes which held him prone against that large, yet ageing, tree. ''That's not true, Farsef jan. I don't think you're worthless! I love you, you're my little brother, I'd be _lost_ without you! Please, t-they're lying! They want to turn us against each other. I care so much about you, please! You have to believe me, Fars!'' Farsef looked away and Aarash sounded hurt.

''Fars? Please!'' Aarash began to sob.

Their exchange reminded me so fucking much of how Assef kept telling me he loved me, when Aarash would try to imply the opposite. But, upon looking in to Farsef's hurt, confused and scared eyes, I saw one c _rucial_ difference; he didn't look as if he believed Aarash. Clearly there was a deep rooted tension between them, but I will get to that in due time.

Assef looked at me, probably experiencing the same revelations I was. ''Oh God... Oh my God, OH MY GOD!'' Adia repeated to herself, rocking like a mental patient. I knew I would cause severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder among all those involved here.

Mostly from her. She was only eleven after all. Just a child. Not that I had any qualms about this. Adia needed to see what my brother and I were truly capable of. Everybody did. It was going to be a day nobody would forget!

''You deserve this, don't you, Farsef? He deserves this pain, doesn't he, Aarash?'' I called over, as I meandered towards Assef's faded green rucksack. I bent down and unzipped it. ''Now, let's see what cool items I have in here.'' Pressing a finger to my lips, I made out I was deep in thought as my hands searched for the best weapon. I held up a scalpel and cocked my head, running it against my open, gloved palm. Fucking excellent. I waved it at my little victim, grinning, tossing another in Assef's direction.

He caught it easily; my brother had excellent hand-eye coordination. ''What are you planning to do with these, Saria?'' he asked me. I knelt down, holding one of Farsef's arms captive. I gently placed the blade of the scalpel against the flesh, pricking him. He winced, not daring to scream out. I made a long cut down the middle of Farsef's arm with all the skill of a painter finishing up their latest masterpiece.

An exposed bit of skin hung from the end of Farsef's cut. I grabbed it and yanked hard. You could liken this to pulling the skin round your fingernails, though, of course a hell of a lot more agonising. Farsef could barely even whimper as his skin ripped off in my hands. I gaped in awe at the bloody mess I had created.

'You did that, Saria, I'm so proud of you. Keep up the good work,' I congratulated myself. I really deserved a pat on the back for this. I wielded my instrument like an expert as I peeled off tiny little slivers of Farsef's arm, laughing at how it felt in my hands. I gently nudged Assef's shoulder. He turned, raising an eyebrow. ''Wanna do his legs? Just make a long cut, and pull.'' I gestured to Farsef's shaking legs with the scalpel. God, it sounded more like we were teaching each other how to prepare dinner, Caa?

Assef nodded. ''Okay, Saria. I'll do his legs and you keep going with his arms.'' With this, he placed both his knees on either side of Farsef's legs, grabbed his scalpel and got right to work cutting and pulling skin off, exposing nerves and muscle. Farsef's eyes rolled back, exposing the bloodshot whites.

''IT HURTS! IT HURTS!'' was all he could say.

''It's supposed to hurt, kunis!'' my brother said, arching his eyebrow, peeling off a large chunk of skin from Farsef's right leg, exposing more raw tissue. Adia looked as if she would vomit pretty soon.

''Fucking monsters! THAT'S WHAT YOU BOTH ARE! MONSTERS!'' Aarash began kicking out in a desperate attempt to loosen the ropes. He leaned forward, perhaps thinking he could bite his way free. Luckily his chest would not bend that far, not with the ropes around him.

''You're the monster, Aarash. Not us,'' my brother said nonchalantly. Farsef's eyes took on a slightly confused look, however this was soon replaced by one of complete horror as I peeled another sliver from his left arm.

''I think I'm going to be sick,'' I heard Kamal mutter to Wali, who nodded in agreement. Assef rolled his eyes but chose to ignore them. Not as if they were being disobedient, was it? I gently stroked Farsef's arm, or rather, what was left of it. The exposed muscle twitched, causing the boy to grit his teeth in pain.

''Are you hurting, Fars?'' I mocked. A low, guttural snarl told me Aarash heard me use his precious nickname. I was going to push his fucking buttons _tenfold_. ''You don't look to good, _Fars_!'' I teased, poking him in the ribs. His answering gasps let me know that Assef's kicks and punches had snapped a few of them. ''Aww, poor little _Fars._ '' I mocked.

''You have no fucking right to call him that! Am I clear, you half-German bitch? No _fucking_ right!'' Aarash growled, making Farsef jump. I liked it. His unbridled anger made hurting the child all the more entertaining.

''You didn't have any right to call me kiddo but you did,'' I retorted.

''What?'' Farsef mouthed.

I spat in his ugly face. ''Be quiet, Fars.'' God, I wouldn't have any saliva left if I kept on the way I was going. Adia had curled up, head resting against her knees, peeking at the scene between her fingers. I wouldn't be in the least bit surprised if the poor dear needed therapy after her ordeal. Not likely to get any, but still. It was all to protect her. To make her understand why nobody but me could ever be her friend. I was her only trustworthy companion.

The _only_ person who liked her, who would be there for her. As for Kamal and Wali, they could go fuck themselves. My brother and I had made quite the impact on their lives, right? I knew how petrified our little slaves must feel. Farsef closed his eyes again, tears flowing like a river, bile dribbling onto his naked chest. Any other little girl would have been moved to tears, but I guess I don't have to say that my mind works differently. Oh! Speaking of 'other little girls', maybe I could do all this to Ahtrai. If the fat cow didn't leave me alone.

''YOU'RE SICK!'' Aarash shrieked. ''Do you hear me, Saria Ahmed? You're sick!'' He punched the ground violently, as if thinking he could free himself this way. ''I'm gonna fucking kill you! Both of you! I'll slit Assef's throat and make you _watch!_ '' I immediately tensed up, recalling the horrific nightmare I had last night.

Assef saw, and touched my hand reassuringly ''It's okay, sister. He can't hurt us,'' he said in German, giving me a half-smile. I returned the favour. Our bond was strong. Stronger than Aarash and Farsef's but I will get into that later. Assef tore off another piece of Farsef's leg, tossing it aside like dog scraps. The icy conditions must have made this flaying a lot sorer. This was just the tip of the fucking iceberg.

I began peeling skin off his upper chest, the side of his face. ''I CAN'T WATCH!'' Adia howled, turning away, retching onto the snow.

''WELL, YOU'D BETTER!'' I snapped, fingering the revolver. I didn't need to pull it out. She knew I had it. Knew I wasn't afraid to use it. Just one bullet, and she'd be dead. I smirked; knowing how much control I had over sweet little Adia jan. Farsef kept his eyes closed, not daring to look at what my brother and I had done to him.

I felt rage seeping through my very bones. He _needed_ to see this. It wouldn't be half the fun if he didn't. I suddenly got an idea. With the scalpel in my left hand, I crawled over, and knelt by Farsef's head. I placed my elbow on his chest as I leant over him. Slowly, with great precision, I began to cut along his eyelids. He tried cowering away, but in his mangled state, he'd little to no chance against me. I peeled his left eyelid off, then did the same with the right.

These flimsy, gooey shreds of flesh clung to my fingertips. I tossed one aside and flicked the other into the boy's open mouth, making him gag. I beamed. He now looked absolutely grotesque, kind of like some creature from an American slasher movie and I heard Kamal retching, eyes wide in disgust. I leaned down, peering into Farsef's eyes.

''Now you can't hide from us,'' I said. ''You won't miss any of the action.'' I stroked his raw flesh, pursing my lips. Aarash's eyes widened, and he looked close to tears. I couldn't wait to hear the bastard sob his fucking eyes out! In all fairness to Aarash, he did hold out crying for quite a long time. I have to give credit for that at least.

''NO! NOOO!'' Adia screeched as I jabbed the weapon in her direction, gesturing at Farsef's lidless eyes.

''You're still watching me, aren't you, sweetie?'' I asked in a voice dripping with pure evil.

''Yes... Yes... I am,'' Adia stuttered, not wanting to meet the same horrible fate. Her eyes were puffy from crying. Farsef turned away from her, ashamed of his current state. He wheezed, his breath rattled. Assef must have snapped a rib or two. My brother and I grinned. His pain was my drug, _our_ drug! I wrapped my hand round his neck and clenched the fingers. His eyes rolled back as the idiotic fucktard asphyxiated.

''Assef,'' Someone called my brother. He looked up, confused. ''Assef, Saria, please.'' The voice called desperately again. It took us both a while to realise it was Aarash who had spoken. ''Please, don't h-hurt him anymore.''

Assef got to his feet. He beckoned me over, motioning to leave Farsef alone. I sauntered casually up to Aarash whose head bowed against his chest. My dear Assef lifted his foe's chin, looking deep in his eyes. ''Yes? What can I do for you, Aarash?'' he asked.

Aarash clutched my brother's hand. ''P-please, A-Assef, Saria, I'll do anything, _anything_ you want, just _please_ stop this! Let Farsef go, and hurt me instead! It's _me_ you want, not him! _Me!_ _Please!_ '' Tears slid down Aarash's face and my brother wiped them away with his thumb. ''Please.. please, Assef.''

He held tightly onto my brother's arm, his face crumpling. Assef looked at me with a malicious glint in his sky-blue eyes. He wiped Aarash's tears. ''Don't cry, Aarash. Say, tell you what. I'll make you a deal. If you let us beat you, we promise to leave Farsef alone. How does that sound?'' Assef's voice was dripping with fake sweetness. He kept a hand upon Aarash, gauging his reaction.

Aarash's expression was that of pure shame and hurt. How the mighty have fallen. ''If I l let y-you hurt me, you'll let Fars go?'' he implored. Assef nodded. I did likewise.

''Yes. We'll let him go.'' I knew full well however that we had no intention of doing so.

Farsef shook his head frantically, eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets. ''No! No, Aarash jan! No!'' He inched towards Aarash, tears running down his face like a waterfall. ''Please, brother, d-don't!'' Aarash looked at his younger sibling with the most caring expression on his face. Psychopath he may be but I could tell a loving relationship when I saw one. Aarash sighed deeply.

''Okay, Saria. Assef. Do your worst. On the condition that you let Farsef go.''

''Pashtun's honour,'' my brother replied. I noticed him reaching into his pocket, a fierce hunger in his eyes. Aarash jutted his chin out, waiting the first blow.

''Here you go, Saria,'' Assef said, gently placing his brass knuckles onto my hand. They were already drenched with Farsef's blood. I loved the sticky texture between my fingers. It gave me a strong feeling of accomplishment. Farsef turned away, choking back sobs, not wanting to see us hurt Aarash. I hurriedly ran to the little cunt, grabbed his ear, and yanked on it with force.

''WATCH!'' I half-screamed, delivering a slap that made him cry out in pain.

He was truly in despair as he inclined his face towards his older brother, mouthing the words; ''I'm so sorry.''

Assef placed a hand on Aarash's shoulder, his upper lip curled. ''I think Saria here ought to get the first punch. It's only fair. Wouldn't you think?'' My once fearsome and deadly enemy couldn't do a thing but nod. I puffed my chest out smugly, as I traced the brass knuckles on his face.

Where the fuck do I hit the cunt? It has to be _just right!_ Adia fiddled with the end of the dark t-shirt she wore, pulling on a loose thread. Besides myself and Assef jan, she was the _only_ person I felt any kindness for here. The rest could burn in the deepest pits of Lucifer's hell. I raised my fist. WHAM! Aarash bellowed in shock and pain, head turning as I viciously cracked him on the nose and jaw. Farsef yelled in terror, watching Aarash spit out a mouthful of blood. I elbowed him in the side of the head, my bony little arm colliding with his eye.

Assef grabbed him by the neck, slamming him repeatedly against the knotted tree. My brother's face contorted with pure, unbridled emotion. Raising his leg, he kneed Aarash in the groin, making him squeal like a fucking pig, eyes watering.

I may not be a guy but even I winced at the force Assef put into that blow. My adrenaline was pumping. I whacked him in the stomach, knocking the breath from out his lungs. ''NOOOO!'' Farsef's voice cracked, tears pouring down his swollen face, obscuring his vision. ''NOOO, Aarash! OH GODDD!'' He could do nothing but lay there watching, pathetic shit that he was.

Assef raised his fist, decking Aarash on the neck. The blow wasn't enough to kill, yet just so that he was left gasping for air. I turned, noticing a stack of branches and twigs lying just adjacent to Mirwais' cage. I ran over, grabbing a handful of branches and sticks then returned to Aarash. I loomed over him menacingly, a fiery rage possessing my soul as I began to strike the teenager mercilessly.

Aarash grunted with every punch, every kick, every scratch. My brother lifted him up by the coat, slamming him repeatedly onto the tree. Slam! Slam! Slam! Who could ever believe this was the same boy who had molested and tormented me up at the local barracks? ''Looks like the hunter has become the hunted,'' I said aloud.

He coughed up fresh red blood, his left eye puffy and swollen, face covered in little gashes from where Assef and I had worked our magic. Farsef's high pitched yells of indignation echoed in my psyche. I turned, cracking a sly grin. Assef's eyes met mine, a look of deep understanding passing between us.

''Farsef sounds as if he wants to join the fun too, hmm, Aarash?'' he mocked. The boy emanated sheer horror. He pulled back from Assef's grip, shaking his head frantically.

''You fucking... You... Assef, Saria... No, YOU PROMISED! LEAVE HIM ALONE! Fucking CUNTS!'' He must have finally realised we had no intentions of letting Farsef go. That we had betrayed his confidence, his trust. Broken our promise. ''YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE! FUCKING HELL WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!'' I gave the bound teen one final hard smack and walked over to the naked, petrified child, kneeling down beside him.

The air whistled, a sharp breeze circulating high in the tree tops. A fresh snowfall began, though not as heavy as the last. I picked up a fistful of snow, pouring it on Farsef's hands. Aarash narrowed his eyes in confusion and Farsef just moaned. I knew I would have to cause severe hypothermia before I could melt his flesh off.

''LEAVE HIM, PLEASE, JUST LET HIM GO! Not my Farsef, not my little brother!'' Aarash pleaded, clenching and unclenching his fists. ''Assef, please, don't do this! I'll do _anything_ , I'll even let you kill me, just please, don't hurt Farsef anymore. Untie him. Let him go home. It's not his fault. Not his fault...''

''But what I did, that wasn't Saria's fault either. You didn't seem to give a crap about that, however, did you? Now, you asked for a beating, and you got one. If you make one more _fucking sound_ I'll cut your brother's throat ear to ear. Understood?'' What could Aarash do but nod, tears collecting in the corners of his eyes? Farsef's neck and stomach was covered with bruises from our assault.

His arms and legs were shredded, exposing raw tissue and muscle, blood pouring from the open wounds. He was a medical mess. I grabbed a lock of hair, and pulled, laughing at the yelps he responded with. ''Are you ready to have some more fun with us?'' I asked.

''Please, oh p-please S-Saria, leave me be. Please... I beg of you.'' I let out a sarcastic bark of laughter. Did he really think I would show any mercy to him? Why not just ask a pig to fly?

''Now, is that really any way to treat one of your friends? Huh? I could fucking kill you right now so just thank your lucky stars I haven't.''

Assef nodded. ''That's right. Be grateful my sister's decided to spare you for now, Fars. Now stop this pathetic begging. You deserve every goddamn thing we do to you, and more.'' Farsef pursed his lips, trembling in cold and shock. It didn't seem to bother him that he was nude, anymore. Pain must have overridden shame. Assef made his way to the rucksack, bent down, and materialised a large kitchen knife.

He passed the blade to me, taking a step back, arms folded. ''Why don't you think of something to do with that, kiddo?'' He suggested. I ran the blade's handle across my gloved hand, my teeth clenched. Eyes wild and ravenous. I dangled it in front of my prey's eyes. He whimpered as I made a deliberate cut along his forehead. I placed a hand over his mouth.

''Shh, don't make a sound or your brother dies,'' I threatened. He nodded frantically. I made large cuts under both of Farsef's eyes, and his cheekbones. I sliced off the tip of his nose. I was an artist, this knife my paintbrush, his skin my canvas. Adia reached out, crawling towards me on her knees, tiny fingers inching closer to the blade.

''Please, Saria. Please. Stop. Please don't hurt him. I'm s-scared, please stop.'' I turned, growling, approached my so called 'friend' and back handed her across the face. She fell on her side with a little gasp.

''What did I tell you, you little bitch?'' I hissed. ''WHAT DID I TELL YOU?''

''S-stay o-out of it,'' Adia whispered.

''Well then, _fucking do that!_ '' I spat, pushing her back. She whimpered and scurried away. Honestly, I did feel the tiniest sliver of empathy at her pain. I didn't want her to be afraid of me. She was mine. Nobody else could have her. I cared for her just as a sister should.

''It hurts... It hurts so much. I can't... Oh please!'' Farsef groaned. With a bright twinkle in my eyes, I cut him just at the side of his face, making a tiny cut on his lips. I extended the cut outwards to the tips of his ears, doing the same on the opposite side. I clapped my hands together joyfully.

''Look, my brother, look! Farsef's smiling!'' Indeed, the deep oozing cuts on his face did make it look so.

Assef stood beside me, hand on my arm. ''Will you look at that? He is smiling. Are you happy, Farsef jan? Do you like being here with us?'' he teased.

''Bismallah... Bismallah!'' Wali muttered to himself. Clearly, even in all his years of knowing Assef, he had never seen violence so horrific. I saw him place a hand over his chest where the branding was. Perhaps thinking he and Kamal may be next. Farsef's red blood stained the white ground. His once normal looking face was now totally unrecognisable.

Covered in scratches, bruises and deep lacerations. Now he was no longer able to beg for mercy. He simply lay there, a pathetic excuse for a human being. ''YOU MONSTERS! YOU GODDAMN MONSTERS! WHY DO YOU DO THIS? WHYYYYYY?'' Aarash sobbed. I materialised the lighter from out my coat pocket, knelt down and began cauterising Farsef's wound, singing all the while. Didn't want him to end up bleeding to death, now, did I? The fire on his skin made him groan loudly in pain.

''No more... No m-more...'' he croaked.

I kicked him in the head. ''BE QUIET YOU LITTLE TWAT!''

''OH GOD!'' Adia cried. I didn't even bother to acknowledge her. Why should I?

Aarash choked out sob after sob. ''Why are you doing this? You've hurt him enough, please, I'm begging you, j-just s-stop! I can't stand to see you hurt him, please.'' He addressed my brother. ''Assef, please, you can understand this. Please, let Farsef go. Show some mercy, you love your sister too.''

Assef nodded. ''You're right, Aarash. I do love my sister. So much so that I could never allow you to hurt her without making you pay. And if I recall correctly, I begged you to let Saria go, but you didn't. Isn't that right?'' He began to circle around Farsef.

Farsef turned, raising an eyebrow at his older brother. ''Aarash, w-what are they talking about? What do they mean? What did you do?'' he asked frantically. Aarash blanched. Sweat caressed his brow.

'He doesn't... He never told Farsef what he did to me..' I thought. 'And it seems he'd rather keep it a secret!' I chortled. Assef looked at me, coming to the same conclusions as I was. He glanced down at Farsef. ''You really don't know?'' he asked.

''No, I don't, please, tell me, what?'' Aarash shook his head frantically. Assef bent down so he and Farsef were level. With his free hand resting against the boy's shoulder, he recounted the events of that fateful day.

''You see, Farsef jan, your brother over there happened to lure my sister and I up to the barracks one day in the summer. When we got there, he had some of his little friends tie us both up.'' Assef checked to make sure Farsef was still listening before continuing his story.

''Then, he made me watch as he beat Saria up, spat on her, cut her, degraded her, oh and nearly _raped her!_ '' His eyes burned with passionate fury. Even I jumped at his sudden outburst. Farsef squinted in confusion, his lips parting.

''W-what? What do you mean?'' he muttered. Tears fell from his eyes. He looked at me and my cold eyes displayed no emotion as I stared back at him. Assef put his nose tip to top with Farsef's.

''Your dear _brother_ pinned a twelve year old girl down, molested her and FUCKING BEAT HER HALF TO DEATH! And everyone here played a part too!'' he gestured around him. Wali, Kamal and my bitch had the good graces to look ashamed.

''Is this true, Aarash?'' Farsef asked quietly. Aarash opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish, unable to say anything, as if he was stunned by the cold, accusing look in his brothers eyes. ''TELL ME!'' Farsef barked suddenly. For a second the brothers held each others gaze, then Aarash looked away.

He nodded. His shoulders slumped slightly. ''Yes, yes it's true. But...'' He stared at Farsef, who had gone as white as a sheet, ''little brother, you don't understand!'' Farsef's cheeks colored and I looked to my brother who I could see shared the same grin as I. We could tell things were about to get interesting.

''I understand perfectly, Aarash. You broke your promise, didn't you?' Aarash hesitated and Farsef's voice went up several octaves. ''DIDN'T YOU?!'' Assef nudged my arm and inclined his head towards a rotting log located just to our right, indicating we should take a seat. With a delighted, sickeningly sweet giggle I skipped to the log hand in hand with my brother. As I sat, the log, warped and decaying, bowed slightly before settling back to it's original shape.

My brother squeezed my hand and I turned my attention forward, Assef and I once again becoming eager onlookers while the brothers argued. ''I mean, my God, you looked me in the eye, you raised your hand and _swore_ to me that you wouldn't harm another person! You promised!''

Farsef breathed heavily, eyes wide, clearly in shock. ''Farsef jan, what else could I do?'' Aarash's voice lowered and I could see he was fighting back his temper. For once. ''What other choice was there? I mean, look at you! Look at what Assef did to you! Huh? He bit your fucking ear off! Do you expect me to just sit back and let him treat you like that?'' Aarash retorted back, his voice quivering slightly with what must have been irritation.

''Oh, so it's _my_ fault? Is it?'' the boy gritted his teeth and the words came out distorted.

''No, Farsef. No.'' Aarash sounded hurt. 'Good,' I thought smugly. 'Let him suffer.' ''I... I didn't mean it like that. Please, I did it for you.''

Farsef scoffed. ''That's no excuse. There's _no_ excuse for hurting anybody, much less a little girl. Oh God, I thought you had stopped all this madness! How could you do this to me? To Saria? Why? _Why?_ ''

Aarash slammed his open palms against the ground in frustration ''I know you're upset, brother, just, please, hear me out. I _had_ to do it. I _had_ to! Beating Saria, it was the only way to make Assef understand what he put me through. I had to make him see my pain, feel my pain.'' Aarash was starting to irritate me.

To my right I felt Assef stiffen. ''What a whiny cunt,'' I said to him. Assef nodded his head in agreement. I heard Farsef laugh sarcastically, drawing us back to the scene unfolding before us.

''But why? Why must everything be about revenge with you? Why can't you just leave people alone?! WHY DO YOU DO THESE THINGS? Tell me, Aarash!'' He shouted, followed by heavier crying. Aarash looked as if he might vomit. His eyes full of shame and remorse, and a desperate longing to make his brother understand.

''I never meant to hurt you, Farsef jan, you know that.'' Never meant to hurt him. He only meant to hurt me, hurt my brother and take away my chances of ever having a family. I began to shake with rage.

''Oh, but you'll torment a girl who's done nothing to you!'' Farsef choked back a sob. ''You've broken your promise! You destroyed my faith in you!'' Farsef had a cold look in his eye and I knew that any chance of their relationship being rekindled was gone, in it's place was nothing but hurt, resentment and mistrust.

Knowing I had put those feelings there, that I, Saria Ahmed, had completely destroyed their relationship it was edifying. I couldn't help but laugh. Aarash clenched his fist, holding on to the belief that he could still salvage his brothers affections. ''It was all for you, Farsef. Do you think I want this? To see you hurting over what I did? Fuck no. _Fuck no!_ '' he emphasised, his voice cracking slightly on the last word. ''I love you more than words can describe. That is why I couldn't just let Assef harm you. Nobody disrespects my family!''

Farsef ignored him, turning to face me. He began to apologise profusely. ''Saria, I... I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. You didn't deserve what happened to you. Oh God, I'm so sorry!'' The little cunt begged me.

I lashed out, kicking him in the jaw. ''FUCK YOU,'' I snapped. ''I will never forgive you nor your brother,'' I said the word through clenched jaws, my lip curling at the corner. ''for what he put us through.''

Desperately, Aarash called out to him. ''Fars, please. This isn't your fault. It's mine. Please, please, Fars.''

'' _Don't_ call me that!'' Farsef growled angrily. ''You have no right to call me that anymore. You're no brother of mine! How can I place my trust in you ever again? HOW? ANSWER ME GODDAMN IT!''

The lacerations on his face began to bells and he winced, and I giggled at the thought that he must be in agony due to the lacerations on his face. The stretching and pulling at the wounds must have made it agonisingly difficult to shout like that. ''I had to do it, I had to.'' Aarash was like a fucking broken record.

''Damn it, you know that's not true! Did someone hold a gun to your head and force you to beat up Saria?''

I began to circle Farsef much as a lone wolf circles it's prey. He cried out in guilt and shame. Aarash stretched his fingers out. ''I'm so sorry, Farsef. I love you! You mean the world to me, please! Please don't hate me!'' He grovelled.

''You can say that until you're blue in the face, Aarash but I can't ever place my trust in such a promise again. Not coming from you.''

Aarash bowed his head down, tears falling onto the icy ground ''So sorry.. So sorry, Farsef.''

''You should be apologising to Saria instead,'' Farsef retorted. He was dead right but I knew it would be a cold day in hell before this ever happened. Adia lifted herself from off her knees and wrapped an arm round her chest.

She trembled, whether from fear of Aarash or cold I will never know but if I had to put money on it, I'd say it was the former. Aarash stretched a hand out to the child. ''Adia...'' he called gently, almost lovingly, in fact. ''Adia, I'm... I'm sorry. Come here, little one. P-please.'' He reached further, his fingers grabbing at the empty air, trying to hold her somehow.

Nervously, my Adia began making her way over to him, slowly, like she knew how risky it was, her little fingers reaching, eyes glazed over. I stood up quickly, almost toppling over in my haste to get to my feet and began to approach her. ''Adia, please. I didn't mean for you to get dragged into all this.'' She inched ever closer as if afraid of what he would do should she not. Aarash looked at her with beseeching eyes. ''Come here.'' I tensed up, wanting to reach out and grab her before he did. I didn't want to see Adia harmed by the murderous boy again. Assef looked at us in concern, beckoning me to return to him.

''I'm fine,'' I mouthed, giving a half-smile. He nodded, though he didn't look convinced. That was just how my brother's personality was, though. Always looking out for my well being. I kept inching forward. Adia and Aarash were now face to face. He grabbed her wrist, nails digging into skin, eyes full of remorse, pulling her close.

''Adia,'' he breathed deeply, like her name was a sigh. ''Adi... I never meant to hurt you, sweetheart. Never. You're my special little girl. You know I would never ever hurt you.'' He gently brushed a lock of hair from Adia's face, resting the back of his palm against her cheek.

''My Adi... You're such a good girl. And you need me, don't you?'' he whispered. She bit her lip, tears pooling over in her eyes. I began to feel a large surge of heart wrenching empathy at her pain. Knowing just how terrifying Aarash could be, I wanted to protect my 'little sister' no matter the cost.

Adia jerked back, whimpering. ''No, p please, A-Aarash, let me go. Please!'' She began hitting out, twisting like a fish caught on a line, smacking his hands to get him to let go. Aarash's facial expression went from sweet to murderous in a nanosecond.

'' _Don't_ start this crap again, Adi! I'm trying to make fucking amends! Now you're pissing me off!'' He sounded more annoyed than I'd ever heard before. Little Adia trembled as if she wanted to speak out but decided against it. ''Adia..'' he spat through gritted teeth. ''Don't play me for a fool, you little cunt.'' She was close enough to Aarash that he could grab her plait and tug hard. Yelping, the frightened child toppled over landing flat on her ass. He kicked out at her, catching her right on the side. I winced empathically, knowing firsthand how much Aarash's kicks fucking _hurt._

Aarash kicked her again, his tone changing from sweet and brotherly to cold and vicious. ''We're going to be friends, Adia, do I fucking make myself clear? You will not deny me!'' He pulled on her collar, dragging her even more towards him. I saw red. My ears buzzed. This was the girl I had claimed as my own, as my baby sister. Nobody was going to hurt her. Not even Aarash. _Especially_ not Aarash.

''Leave her the fuck _alone!_ '' I roared, surging forward. Placing myself between the two, I held Aarash back from my little sister. He spat out at me, his teeth bared in a wild snarl. It landed on my cheek, and I gagged in disgust, pushing Adia even more behind me with my hand. She clutched my arm in terror.

''Fucking bastard!'' Assef hissed, clenching his fists. Aarash kicked me and I hissed in pain, hobbling on one leg to massage my injured shin. My brother repaid the favour by kicking Farsef in the head. I loosened my grip on Adia's shirt. Adia managed to wriggle free, collapsing to her knees. I threw myself around her, shielding her from any further blows.

'So this is what it feels like to be protective of someone,' I thought, noting the sense of power and exhilaration the feeling gave me. My gentle little hands stroked Adia's ebony hair as she cried out in pain, humiliation and fear. ''Shh, Adia jan, shhh, it's okay, it's okay,'' I crooned gently, as she dry-heaved in my arms. I wanted to comfort her in much the same way Assef would do for me.

I felt my heart clench with every pain filled wail that escaped her lips. She was so tiny, so vulnerable. So defenseless ''I'm here now, you're safe. You're safe.'' I whispered over and over.

''He... He...'' she coughed. ''He called me Adi. He used to call me that when he...'' Adia trailed off in embarrassment. Not that she had anything to be embarrassed by. I nodded in understanding, cradling the little girl in my arms. She worked herself into near hyperventilation.

Displaying genuine emotion for someone other than Assef for once, I placed a loving kiss on her forehead, rocking her like a toddler. ''It's okay, honey. You did nothing wrong.'' Reaching into my pocket, I took out Assef's brass knuckles, and gently extended them out to Adia. ''Go on. Beat him up. He deserves it.'' She bit her lip, hesitant. Her eyes surveyed the Knuckles with both fear and interest.

''I...'' Tears began to stream down her face. I felt a pain in my chest and bit back a sob. My poor Adia.

''Adia, he molested you. He nearly raped us both,'' I said, loud enough for Farsef to hear.

''No... God, no...Aarash, why...'' he moaned, all shred of respect and love for his brother now evaporating into dust.

Adia turned away, still on her knees. ''I can't do it, Saria. I c-can't. I'm scared.'' She angrily punched the ground, frustrated at herself. I turned her around, grabbing her by the shoulders and looking deep into her eyes.

''You can, Adia. I'll teach you how. Shh, let me help you.'' I kissed her cheek, watching her glance nervously from me to Aarash. ''He can't hurt you anymore. I promise, dear.''

She latched onto me, breaking down in fresh sobs. ''I... I can't...'' '

'Yes, you can. He won't ever hurt you again. I won't let him.''

Adia looked at me, tears wetting her tanned cheeks, her dark eyes misting over. ''D-do you mean it? Do you promise?''

I nodded. ''I promise.'' Adia's eyes narrowed darkly, her lip curling in total hatred for the boy slumped against the tree.

''Can you show me how to use them?'' I had never felt more proud. What a feeling, knowing I had this much impact on Adia's life! That she wanted to hurt someone like I had done many times before. Amazing. Such an amazing feeling. We smiled at each other through watery eyes. I took Adia's little hand in mine.

''Here you go, Adia.'' Slipping the knuckles onto her, I closed her hand up into a fist. She trembled with nervousness as I led her over to Aarash. ''Let me guide your hand.''

''ADIA, YOU LAY ONE DAMN FINGER ON ME AND YOUARE DEAD!'' Aarash yelled harshly. I raised my hand, smacking him across the face with my open palm.

''Don't you fucking talk to her like that!'' I chastised.

Adia tugged on my arm impatiently. ''Saria, let me.. Please show me what to do!'' she implored. I nodded, placing my hand over her fist. I drew it back. ''Let's give him a black eye.'' I suggested. Adia nodded. She was as eager to punish Aarash as me. I kept my hand on her shoulder, leaning down to whisper in her ear. ''Now, put all your strength into it. All your hatred.'' Adia set her jaw, flinging a wild punch right onto Aarash's left eye. He bellowed in total agony, blood trickling from a cut she'd left just under his eye.

''You did it, Adia. I'm so proud of you.'' I felt now that I had truly cemented my relationship with her.

She smiled at me. ''We did it,'' she corrected. I had to remind myself not to break down in tears.

''Would you like to go again?'' I offered, my voice shaking. I coughed, then exhaled to calm down.

''Try it yourself now.'' She nodded. Aarash doubled over as her fist caught his stomach. She hit him again, hair whipping around her face.

'I'm going to make you suffer for this, you little _cunt!_ You hear? _Dead!_ '' he threatened ominously. I spat vehemently into his face.

''Empty threats. That's all your words are. Empty fucking threats.'' Adia placed her head against my shoulder and I kissed it lovingly. ''You don't know how proud I am of you, Adia jan. So very proud. Go and sit back down now. I must go back to Assef.'' She nodded like an obedient servant and trudged off.

I walked back to Assef, kneeling down to inspect Farsef's wounds. His body was covered in raw, bleeding cuts, hands trembling in the ice, face swollen and puffy like he'd had an allergic reaction to some food or other. He moaned through bloody lips, trying to conjure up the strength to plead for mercy. I remained quiet as I poked my fingers in his cuts, dumping more snow on his icy hands.

He didn't even beg me to stop, though I knew it must be hurting him. Perhaps he thought he deserved it. That he agreed, in some way, that this was penance for what his brother did. Can't say I disagreed with him. Actually, I think I'd have done all this even if he _wasn't_ Aarash's brother.

He made for such a _great_ torture victim. I picked up the blade once more, my face splitting into a wide, insane grin as I cut a long incision across the side of his face, just by his hairline. The knife cut into flesh, splitting it like the skin on a pomegranate. Blood trickled onto the ground. I dabbed my fingers into it, and licked it, in a most sadistic manner. It felt hot and dripped on my tongue.

''It hurts... It hurts... Please, stop!'' Farsef pleaded, but I just whacked the side of his head, and continued slicing and dicing him. I cut along his forearms, stomach, legs, shoulders, chest. Anywhere I could think of that would cause immense pain. Adia had now moved herself as far away from Aarash as was possible.

She was just rocking back and forth, like a crazy person. My dear 'sister' was honestly traumatised by everything she witnessed today. It would take months for her to recover, if she did at all. Poor kid. She really didn't deserve to be here. She was just as much a victim as me. 'For the love of _God_ Saria, _don't_ get sappy, you have work to do!' I chastised myself. Farsef spat out a mouthful of blood and teeth, letting out a gurgled wail. Adia buried her face in her palms.

''WHY?'' she lamented brokenly, eyes widening in fear, and I heard Aarash curse in her direction. 'Just ignore it,' I repeatedly told myself. Part of me wished I could just take her in my arms and shield her from everything that was happening. The other part however, knew it would be unfair to do so. Adia needed to see how I dealt with people who betrayed me. She needed to know that the only way to be safe, was to be on my side. I wiped the blood from the corner of my mouth, and tossed the knife aside, for later use.

A cold wind blew through the forest, making the hem of my dress ruffle. My tights, having started out as clean and white, now bore greyish marks on the knees, and calves, from where I had been sitting on the ground. Kamal leaned against a tree stump, next to Mirwais' cage. ''He'll never think of his pet the same way again once we're done here,'' Assef whispered in my ear. I giggled.

Nothing could spoil this perfect day. I smacked Farsef across the face, pouring more snow onto his trembling hands. ''W-what a-are you doing?'' he asked.

''Nothing, nothing at all, Fars. You keep quiet now, unless you want me to cut your tongue out,'' I replied. He gulped, but didn't say another word. Smart fucking move. As I casually raked my nails against his cheek, I felt my brother tense up next to me. His entire body rigid and stiff.

''Assef?'' I asked, concerned. He didn't seem to hear me, or perhaps he chose not to. His blue eyes hardened with an unimaginable fury. I glanced about me, first to Adia, then to Wali and Kamal, looking to see what had pissed him off so much. It was then I heard a voice mutter something in German. My head instantly turned towards Assef. He was, after all, the only person here besides me who could speak the language.

My brother clenched his fists and slowly got to his feet. Then with startling clarity I noticed the mischievous smirk on Aarash's face. It was he who had spoken out. 'Aarash knows German?' I thought incredulously. I jumped up from the ground, hurrying to stand beside Assef. He gave me an irked look, as if he thought I should stay out of it, but didn't press the issue. Together, we approached the laughing Aarash.

The look on my brother's face would have chilled even the hardest man to the bone. ''Where did you learn German?'' Assef growled, leaning his face nose to nose with Aarash's.

Aarash laughed. ''Where did I learn German? Good question, Assef jan. You see, I thought I might as well learn a few phrases for this very special little girl here.'' He inclined his head towards me, and I immediately tensed. ''Nicht wahr, meine Hündin halb-Deutsch?'' he said. ('Isn't that right, my half-German bitch?') Aarash continued on, obviously not knowing when to stop. ''Ich kann nicht warten, für den Tag bekomme ich schließlich zu meinem Namen unten auf allen Vieren, kleine Schlampe schreien hören.'' ('I can't wait for the day I hear you scream my name, down on all fours, little slut.')

Assef grabbed a handful of Aarash's dark hair and pulled. Very fucking hard. He leaned down, in a most threatening manner. ''How dare you speak to my sister like that? How _dare_ you defile her, and our language?'' I remained frozen in shock. No words came. I couldn't think of anything to say to defend myself, and I usually have a _very_ sharp tongue.

Aarash laughed. ''Why? Are you impressed, Assef? What about you, kiddo?'' he reached out, the ropes binding him allowing just enough room for him to grab my wrist. He pulled me towards him. ''You're a dirty little tart, Saria Ahmed. Why don't you spread those legs for me? Or better yet, kneel down, and I'll give you a nice surprise,'' he taunted in German, licking his lips. My eyes widened.

Assef instantly came to my rescue, sweeping me behind him with his arm, positioning himself directly in front of me in a protective stance. He exhaled deeply, like a bull about to charge a matador. I was in total shock. Not even the most eloquent of words, in _any_ language, or the finest ink and parchment, would convey how enraged I felt. How _dare_ he make such rude, sexual remarks towards me? HOW FUCKING DARE HE!

I could tell by the look on Assef's face that he felt the same way I did, if not more strongly. Aarash grinned, leering at me. ''Oh, come now, Assef. Don't hide your sister from me. You jealous? Is that it? Worried I might thrill her in ways you never could?'' Aarash's eyes glinted lustfully.

''Don't worry, I'll let you have her some nights.'' At this, he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

''That's disgusting!'' Assef snapped, clenching his fist, the other hand still protectively rested on my chest. ''God fucking damn it, that's my _sister!_ ''

Aarash rolled his eyes. He gestured obscenely at me. ''Stop hiding behind Assef, kiddo. Are you just being a little cocktease, that it? Come over here, you little whore, I'll make you beg and scream, I'll-''

Aarash never did get to say what else he was going to make me do because Assef took two steps forward, lifted his knee, and jerked it upward, right onto Aarash's groin. He slammed the boy's head repeatedly against the tree. ''Never talk about Saria in that way again.'' He said, his voice low and threatening, fist clenched in pure, unbridled rage. Aarash rolled his eyes. My brother exhaled deeply, grabbing a handful of Aarash's dark hair and pulling. Hard. It should come as no surprise that Assef _hates_ when people make fun of me, and so Aarash's nonchalant reaction to his warning must have truly set him on edge.

''Jealous. That's what you are. Jealous,'' Aarash grinned. ''Isnt that right, Saria? Your brother's jealous because he know's he'll never have you, never _touch_ you like I will.'' Gritting his teeth, his nostrils flared, Assef faced me, placing a hand on my shoulder. His blue eyes glinted, just as they always did when he was planning something vindictive.

''You know, kiddo, since Aarash was so eager to rape you.'' He and I both smirked at little Farsef's horrified gasp. The child's eyes filled up with tears. Not for himself, and the fate about to befall him, no, these were for the suffering of his tormentor. The knowledge that his own brother had almost commited an unforgivable sin. The little cunt _should_ feel bad for me. I was the victim here, _not_ him!

Was Farsef afraid to go to sleep, in case he woke up crying from nightmares? Did he sometimes cry all alone, wishing people could understand the _hurt_ and _pain_ they caused him? Had Farsef ever thought about self-harm? No, I don't fucking _think_ so! ''Well, isn't it only fair that we return the favour?'' I clasped my hands together in delight, bowing my knees.

''You wouldn't dare,'' Aarash smirked. ''You're just all talk.''

My brother rolled his eyes, gently nudging me in the ribs. ''He thinks we're not being serious, kiddo,'' he said. ''Well, brother, why don't we show him just how serious we are?'' I replied. Assef led me over to Farsef. He knelt down, stradling the younger boy's hips. His fingers slowly traced the inside of Farsef's thighs.

It was almost gentle, caring even, the way he slid his hands against the child's bare skin. Assef's eyes were lustful, his mouth parted, as his tongue slid across his bottom lip. He made circular motions, with his index finger, right on the edge of Farsef's crotch. Farsef whimpered, new tears beginning to stream down his face. His skin quivered with every touch, making the lustful gaze in Assef's eyes increase by the second. Instantly, the cocky, self-assured grin on Aarash's face melted into a look of pure terror, and dread.

''No, no, Assef, please! I...'' He glanced at his brother, who promptly turned his head away. Yep, that was one relationship I had completely and utterly destroyed. My chest swelled with pride. ''Assef, please, d-don't... Just, please, let Farsef go. I'm _begging_ you, _don't_ do this to him. Please!'' Assef cocked his head, a savage kind of grin on his face. He gently rubbed Farsef's bare legs, a cold, dark look in his eyes.

The child's lightly tanned skin now began to turn a ghostly white colour, as my brother vigorously rubbed his hands up and down his legs. Assef breathed out, closing his eyes, going higher up every time. He must really have been enjoying himself. I was glad of this fact. Anything that makes my brother happy, makes me happy too. Farsef lips quivered, and he let out a drawn-out sob.

His eyes made involuntary twitching movements, as though he was trying to close them, but couldn't, because I'd sliced his eyelids off. He turned away, fixing his gaze on a spot just adjacent to where I stood, gasping each time Assef's hands touched him. Assef grabbed the boy's chin, turning it back in the proper direction. He kept one hand between Farsef's legs, while using the other to hold his head in place.

''Stop, please, please, I don't like it, stop!'' Farsef begged.

Assef gently pressed a finger to his captive's lips, making gentle hushing noises. ''It's okay, Farsef jan. Don't cry. This is your brother's fault, child. You have to pay for his sins, you understand, don't you?'' He asked, placing the back of his hand against Faraef's cheek.

Farsef gave an involuntary squeak of protest, and my brother's expression hardened for a second. He placed his finger against Farsef's lips once more. ''Shh now, there's no need to cry. This is the nicest treatment you'll get from us, so why don't you just relax and enjoy it? Hmm?'' He gently ran his fingers across the boy's lips. ''Shh, you're a good boy, Farsef. Just relax now.'' He slid his hand between Farsef's shivering legs, up and down, up and down, his expression unreadable.

Farsef bit down hard on his lower lip, his face scrunched up, not wanting to cry out in case it would piss my brother off. I knelt beside his head, gently tracing my fingers across the cuts I had made on either side of his lips. He whimpered, but didn't dare say a word. Aarash, however, was not as silent as his younger brother.

''ASSEF! ASSEF, LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU BASTARD!'' He clawed desperately at his tight bindings. ''YOU'RE SICK, DO YOU KNOW THAT? YOU'RE BOTH FUCKING DISGUSTING!'' He breathed in, and, when he breathed out, I could hear a desperate sob.

''Please, you got what you came for, you got revenge, just let him go now. Please. He's done nothing to you, to either of you, this is MY fault, I take responsibility, so please don't hurt my brother anymore. Not my Farsef,'' he pleaded. Assef snorted, resting a hand on Farsef's leg. Farsef gulped, skin quivering with each touch.

''Please, p-please, d-don't...'' he pleaded, clenching his fists, knuckles white. ''What did I tell you about begging, Farsef jan? Hmm? What did I say?'' My brother's voice was low, ominous. A lot more terrifying than if he'd shouted, or flown off the handle. Farsef shut up pretty fucking quickly, and Assef placed a hand on my shoulder, looking deep into my eyes.

''Kiddo,'' he said, in a low voice, though he was speaking German. He had a serious, fiery look in his eyes, the kind he only gets when referring to something, or someone that has hurt me. Assef exhaled. ''You know, since Aarash took away _your_ right to be a mother, to have a family, don't you think it's only fair of us to cut little Farsef's balls off in return?'' He asked matter-of-factly, but with a hint of excitement and rage, in his voice.

I bit the corner of my lip, giving a smile that was a mixture of genuine sweetness and horrid cruelty. I had been waiting for this moment. Farsef tilted his head in confusion, not knowing what exactly was going on, but not daring to ask either.

He seemed to have resigned himself to the molesting, though I noticed he still tensed up whenever Assef's fingers glided over his skin. Farsef tried to remain emotionless, not wanting us to see his guilt, fear, or pain, but his eyes betrayed him, glistening with tears. I couldn't wait to hack his fucking dick clean off! If only my parents could see their darling little angel right now!

''What are you doing? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?'' Aarash screeched as I casually walked over to the open 'torture' bag, and started rooting around inside it. Farsef began crying once more. The sounds of his pitiful wailing really began to get on my nerves. 'Pathetic little shit.' I thought vehemently, tilting my head back in an effort to calm myself.

My brother shoved a hand onto Farsef's mouth, pressing down hard, to shut the cunt up. I smiled gratefully in his direction. Farsef looked up at Assef, his eyes wide, but dared not make a fucking peep. Very smart. I spent what must have been eons rooting through that bag, before I eventually found what I was looking for.

The potato peeler, tucked down the side of the bag. As my fingers glided over the surface, a cold shiver ran up my spine. Castration. I would have to look at Farsef's... testicles. And not only look at them, but also... touch them. Ew. 'Fucking gross,' I thought to myself, looking back at Farsef. My eyes travelled to his... nether region, and I felt a heated blush on my cheeks. I quickly turned my head, focusing my gaze on the snow. Assef clicked his tongue, impatiently. I sighed, getting to my feet. Best get this over with.

I knelt down in front of Farsef, awkwardly placing one leg on either side of his waist, trying to touch as little of his skin as possible. I placed my right hand on his chest and in my left the potato peeler glinted dangerously. With a malicious grin I began to gently circle the potato peeler across his face.

Farsef whimpered as the slowly warming steel caressed the contours of his face. I did this for several minutes as the arching strokes began to synchronise arching with the jack hammering of his heart. I must have been doing it for longer than I thought for my brothers irritated grunts brought me out of my daze and into reality. With a slight grin I let the sharp edge meander up his face, coming to rest at the corner of his eye.

The suns reflection off of the surface of the peeler illuminated the fear and confusion that alternated across his face. I pulled the peeler back about six inches from his face, captivated by the way the light shimmered and moved across his face. A bead of sweat ran down his face and he cautiously squinted up at it.

''Saria?'' his voice came out barely above a whisper. The fear in his voice brought a thought to mind. A thought so strange that for a moment I thought the words must have come from Adia, for surely they didn't come from I. Yet the voice which internally spoke the words was mine.

Was I really about to do this? To torture a boy so timid, so mild? His brother deserved it. No doubt about that. But did he? I felt a chill run through my body and I viciously hurled the thought back to which ever dark corner of my mind it came from. Of course the little cunt deserved it. Eye for an eye. Tooth for a tooth.

Aarash didn't hesitate when he nearly killed me in order to hurt Assef. In order to make Aarash truly suffer no mercy must be given. Not that I was going to give him any in the first place. ''Saria, d-don't...''

Assef spat on the child. ''Your constant pleading is getting irritating, you retarded brat. Shut the fuck up.'' He kicked him once rather hard in the ribs then took a step back. Farsef released a long hiss then grew quiet. I had to give him credit; the little bastard could take a hit. Assef nodded at me, indicating that I should keep going.

I pushed myself backwards using my right hand, the one on his chest, so that I straddled Farsef's knees. The movement was awkward and I could feel the muscles in my arm strain as I struggled to keep my body off of his. Particularly when I moved over his... groin. As I came to rest I felt my face flush. This was going to be awkward. I avoided Farsef's frightened gaze and switched the potato peeler from my left hand to my right and with my left I reached down and seized Farsef's... um, scrotum. I reluctantly looked into his eyes. I wasn't remorseful nor guilty. Just really fucking uncomfortable. I felt...dirty.

The first thing I noticed was that his cheeks had turned a deep shade of burgundy and as our eyes met, his frightened and ashamed, mine disgusted, he turned away. 'Must be the first time a girl has ever touched him,' I thought sarcastically. 'And the last.' I chuckled to myself, the noise startling the boy and drawing a small whimper from his throat.

The air was tense as I placed the jagged weapon against the edge of his skin. I could feel the skin pull back as the cool tip touched the flesh and my cheeks reddened further. I curled my lip in disgust. This was absolutely sick. My face must have given my emotions away for that's when Aarash, who had been relatively quiet up till this point, screamed; ''WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?''

The noise made me flinch and very nearly cut the tender flesh. ''Keep him fucking quiet!'' I hissed. In reply I heard a dull thud and the wet sickly crunch of what must have been a nose. Aarash released a painful cry and I knew Assef must have hit him.

The image of my brother making him cry out like that made butterfly's rise in my stomach and a joyful giggle burst through my lips. I began to toy with the flesh, twisting and turning the peeler this way and that and making Farsef squirm and whimper. It was both fascinating and disgusting at the same time. ''YOU CUNT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?''

Aarash's voice was distorted by pain and rage. The noise made the blade jerk and Farsef screamed as the edge cut into the tender flesh, much too early. ''Fuck!'' I shrieked. Grabbing Farsef's waist I forced his body round so that neither of us could be seen anymore. I adjusted my dress slightly so that his lower half was completely obscured. I clutched his privates with a slightly trembling hand. This was it. Showtime. With my cheeks flushing ever so slightly

I placed the peeler against the skin and forcibly flicked my wrist, pushing the peeler under the skin, creating a starting point. Farsef screamed loudly and I pulled the edge out, marvelling at how the blood beaded on the surface, then started flowing freely, making my pulse soar.

''Kiddo,'' Assef said impatiently, urging me to begin. We had much left to do and so little time to do it. I nodded my head and placed the peeler against the opening I had made. Blood droplets bloomed across the metal and I felt Farsef tremble.

''Aww. Poor baby,'' I mockingly cooed. ''Does this hurt?'' The cunt turned his head away in shame. That did it. I lifted my hand and brought it down hard on his face. He whimpered and looked at me pleadingly. His eyes searched mine as if looking for any signs of sympathy. I slapped him again.

''Listen you little cunt. I asked you a question and I expect an answer!'' Farsef began to sob. The sound would have brought a normal person to tears. But on me the noise served only to irritate me further. I raised my hand to strike him again, but something stopped me. In his eyes I could see myself. What I saw made me pause. I looked...terrifying. My face was contorted with rage and my eyes were cold and merciless. I didn't look like Saria. I looked like an animal. Like...

''No!'' I shrieked and punched Farsef as hard as I could. The motion sent waves upon waves of pain up my arm and all previous thoughts were forgotten. ''You little cunt!''

''W-what did I do? Saria?'' The boys voice was weak, full of pain. Good. ''Saria?''

''Shut the fuck up,'' Assef snarled from behind me. Almost immediately the boys sobs subsided, replaced by a barely audible whimper. I smiled. Sometimes it was as if Assef could read my mind. 'That's better,' I sighed to myself, then went back to work. I positioned the edge again, using much more force than needed to insert it.

Farsef screamed in agony. ''Does this hurt?'' No reply. I jerked the blade across his... scrotum, pulling with it a long strip of skin and reviewing the throbbing, pulsating flesh beneath. A warning of what was to come if he disobeyed again. The sight nearly made me gag. It was soo fucking gross. ''I asked you a question faggot. Does this _fucking_ hurt?'' I yanked the peeler out of his..scrotum, pulling with it a piece of his flesh and enticing from him another bout of screaming.

''Y-yes!'' he moaned.

''Yes what?'' I was savouring the moment. Memorising his screams, the feeling of power that coursed through my veins.

''Yes it hurts! It hurts!' The boy screamed and the tears flowed freely.

''Good boy,'' I smiled and ran a hand down his cheek.

''That wasn't hard, was it?'' A heavy sob tore through his petit frame, causing his whole body to shake. Including the ... thing I held in my hand. With a sneer I began to peel off skin as quickly and as hard as possible. Little by little I flayed off long strips of skin. Farsef's body jerked and shook and I had to tighten my grip around his.. testicle, which was fucking difficult considering how slick with blood they were.

My tightening grip must have been absolute agony because Farsef let loose an inhuman howl and began moaning and writhing in pain. I grinned, squeezed hard once and continued cutting. Snip. Snip. Snip. After a few minutes I stopped and surveyed my handiwork. Bits of flesh hung loosely around his nether region and a steady stream of blood trickled onto the ground.

''Want me to help, kiddo?'' my brother asked.

I shook my head. ''No, Assef, let me do this by myself. Please.'' He nodded and began casually strolling over to take his place on the decaying log just adjacent to us. I took the time to look around, see what the others were doing. Wali looked bored, leaning against the tree that Aarash was bound to. Kamal was playing with Mirwais, the little monster that I was taking more and more of a liking to as the day progressed.

Adia was curled into a tight ball, apologising profusely to no one in particular whilst Aarash repeatedly slammed his clenched fists against the ground, craning his neck to see what was going on. Shrugging my shoulders I turned and went back to my cutting. As I cut off another piece of skin Farsef's eyes rolled backwards up into his skull and he shook with pain. He let out a deep, throaty groan and coughed up a little bile. I was about to cut again when I felt his hand close around my wrist and I was brought nearly nose to nose with the boy.

''Please... Please, stop! NO MORE! NO MORE!'' he begged. ''PLEASE STOP HURTING ME, SARIA! I'm so sorry, no more, please, please no!'' His grip slipped from my wrist and onto the front of my dress. He lost himself in his whilst sobbing and placed his forehead against my shoulder.

''Please,'' he whimpered. I wanted to throw him off but curiosity got the better of me. I let go of his privates and placed my blood splattered hand just under his chin, drawing his face up and forcing him to look at me

''Farsef,'' I said coldly. He looked at me and I removed my hand, leaving behind a bloody imprint. ''I won't listen to your pathetic attempts to make me feel sympathy. Your brother showed me no mercy, nor will I to you. Save your breath and tears. They mean nothing to us,'' I gestured towards Assef and I.

He started to snivel again and returned his head to my shoulder. I was about to push him away when he whispered into my ear. ''I'm not going to see another sun rise, am I?'' He sounded resigned.

It wasn't a question for me to answer. What came out of my mouth next was completely unexpected. I reached behind his head and, holding back my immense disgust, pulled him close, lending him a moment of warmth. Most likely the last warmth he'd ever feel. ''There will be pain. I promise you this. You will _not_ enjoy this. Every second of it you will be wishing for death. But I promise you that if you stay strong in your will to live I will make this as easy on you as possible''

As quickly as it began the moment was over. I snarled and shoved him away from me, making him scream as he landed in his bad leg. ''Do not misunderstand. I am not your friend. You will scream. You will bleed. However, this pain will be nothing compared to that you will feel if you fail to uphold your end of the deal. And I will enjoy every second of it. Understand?''

The boy looked at me. His face looked just as confused as I felt, but he had a new light in his eyes. A steely resolve. He would die like the cunt he was, but would leave this world with my respect. _If_ he kept his end of the deal. If not...

I grinned slightly then let my face become stern. Back to the task. I looked at Farsef and he tersely nodded in understanding. His break was up. I wiped my hands against my dress, removing the sweat and blood and leaving behind two bloody streaks across the front of my dress. With a trembling hand I once again raked the peeler diagonally across the mangled flesh. Farsef screamed.

''WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO HIM?'' Aarash's impatience had obviously gotten the better of him. He sounded worried. 'Good,' I thought. The fucker should be. Distracted by Aarash's outburst I loosened my grip on both his...Scrotum, as well as the peeler and the peeler, slick with blood, slipped from my hand , causing it to tumble into the snow. I reached down to get it and what I saw worried me.

Blood had covered the once pure and white snow, turning it a sickly pink. The hem of my dress was a light pink when the torture began. Now it was maroon, bits of it so saturated in blood that it was dripping beads of blood into the ever darkening snow. I was worried that if he was bleeding this much so early on he might bleed to death before I had finished with him. ''Assef?''

''Yes, kiddo?'' I could hear his footsteps in the crisp snow and waited to speak until I felt his hand rest on my shoulder. I gestured for him to kneel next to me.

''Saria?'' he asked.

I leaned in closely and whispered in his ear. ''How much blood can a person lose and still survive?''

''You made me come over here for that?'' he raised his eyebrow and gave me a rather unimpressed look.

''I didn't want _him_ ,'' I pointedly looked at Aarash who was obviously straining to hear what was being said. ''to start up again, his fucking yelling was doing my head in and I didn't want him to start up again. Not just yet.''

Assef continued to stare at me for what seemed like eternity. Farsef moaned loudly. I turned and slapped him. ''Shut the fuck up!'' I snarled then turned back to Assef. When I looked at him I saw he had an amused yet irritated smirk on his face.

''You're right. His constant babbling _is_ getting fucking annoying.''

''Constant?'' I must have been completely blanking out what was going on around me. Aarash was about to answer when I cut him off.

''Never mind. Now can I _please_ have an answer?''

''Answer?'' For a moment he looked confused then his eyes seemed to glow and I knew he knew the answer.

''Oh. Right,'' he lowered his voice to a whisper. ''An average adult has about 5 litres and can lose about 2 litres before they die. Why?'' I pointed to the blood soaked snow and he understood.

''For a 12 year old boy?'' I asked because Farsef clearly was not an adult.

''Hmmm... About... I'm going to say 3-4 litres. If 40% loss is critical... and I'm going to say he has 4 litres. Half of that is two. 10 percent of two is...'' He began to zone out and I was happy to let him. Assef had always been good at maths. Much better than I.

''1.8!'' he exclaimed, making Farsef and I jump.

''What?''

''He can lose around 1.8 litres and live,'' my brother grinned, looking quite pleased with himself.

''How much left, would you say?''

''Saria,'' he rolled his eyes and gave me a hug. ''Relax, sister. He's not checking out anytime soon.''

''You sure about that?'' I still wasn't fully convinced.

''Positive,'' he smiled reassuringly, ridding me of my worries. Then his body went ridged and he stood up briskly. He cleared his throat then began to speak at his normal volume. "You know it's rude to ignore our guest, kiddo,'' he scolded mock-sternly. I pretended to look away in embarrassment then looked over my shoulder, watching Assef sit back down on the old log, inclining his head towards Farsef, needlessly reminding me of the task at hand.

It was starting to get irritating. Did he really think I would forget or something? Rather than show my irritation I smiled. ''Oh, of course. My deepest apologies, Farsef jan. Shall we continue?'' I brushed my long hair behind my ears, and was about to resume the torture when Assef said my name.

''What?!'' I was starting to get pissed off. ''Don't forget the shaft,'' was all he said. At first I was confused. I looked at him, puzzled. Upon seeing my confusion his face went red. His eyes went towards the tree Aarash was bound to.

My eyes followed his. At first I didn't understand. All I could see was Aarash. Then I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. That's when I saw that my brother was looking not at Aarash but at Wali, who's face was as red as a tomato. His eyes refused to meet mine as his hands drew a shape in the air. I stared for a few moments, uncomprehending. Then it hit me. The shape Wali was drawing was a... penis.

By shaft he must have meant Farsef's ...thing. I felt my face flare and I pressed a fist, the one with the peeler in it, to my mouth. His...testicles were bad enough but to have to touch his... Thing, to hold it in my hand... The thought of it made me want to vomit.

''Want me to do it for you?'' Assef sounded obviously amused by my unwillingness to touch Farsef's ...thing. I supposed his reaction made sense. After all, I was so willing to viciously murder a boy yet so unwilling to touch a boys... unmentionables. But still, it pissed me off. I was only twelve for fuck's sake! I hadn't even kissed a boy and here he was expecting me to be able to unabashedly touch a boys naked...thing.

Any modest girl would have reacted with the same reluctance I had. ''No!'' I snapped, instantly regretting it. This was Assef I was talking to. He was genuinely trying to help. I looked over my shoulder with an apologetic expression. ''No. But thank you for the offer, brother. Let me do this on my own. Please.''

He nodded, accepting my apology. I closed my eyes and moved my hand up his...thing. It was absolutely repulsive and my hand shook, making it impossible to place the peeler against the skin. I heard Assef laugh. ''Having trouble?''

''Assef...'' I gritted through my teeth. ''Opening your eyes would help''

''Assef,'' for once I was getting sick and tired of my brothers running commentary. Plus, I got the sense he was enjoying the whole thing a bit _too_ much.

''Okay. Okay. I get it. No more interruptions.'' I think he realised just how much he was getting on my nerves.''Just think of it like peeling a carrot and you'll be fine''

''Oh _gross!_ '' I squealed. Looked like I wasn't going to be able to eat carrots again anytime soon. ''Fuck it!'' I yelled. Then to myself I said 'get over it Saria. It's just a... Penis.'' The word made me cringe but I forced myself to continue. ''Come on girl. The sooner you start, the sooner you get it over with.''

Wielding the device like a pro, I made a long, deep cut lengthways across Farsef's... Well, you know. He groaned, and tried to bat my hands away. Not gonna happen, fucking idiot. ''SARIA! SARIA, PLEASE! LEAVE HIM ALONE, HE'S DONE NOTHING TO YOU!'' Aarash once again pleaded desperately with me. Well, this was certainly a case of 'pot calling the kettle black', wasn't it? I spat in his direction.

He clenched his fists tightly, so hard I could see blood starting to form from cuts his grimy nails had made. I grinned widely at him and raked the peeler down Farsef's...shaft, making him shriek loudly enough that my ears began to ring. Aarash growled then switched from desperate pleas to violent, ominous threats.

''LET HIM GO, YOU FUCKING WHORE, OR ELSE! I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I'LL GUT YOU AND THAT KUNIS OF A BROTHER LIKE A FISH!'' I stiffened. Aarash threatening me, although unnerving, I could handle. After all, I had gotten used to it. But hearing such cruel words directed at my Assef, my dearest friend and relative, was enough to make my blood boil.

''You fucking-!'' I started to yell, but I stopped before I could say anything to insulting. I placed a hand over my chest, attempting to get myself back to reality. I knew Aarash aimed to piss me off, to get me to react, but still, his threats cut deep into my soul. I felt my brother place a reassuring hand upon my shoulder.

''Don't listen to him, kiddo. It's just words, that's all.'' Assef hissed at Aarash then clicked his fingers. Almost immediately Wali and Kamal stiffened and looked towards Assef and I, awaiting our commands like the faithful dogs they were. Assef grinned at me then gestured to Aarash. ''Wali, shut him the fuck up. _now_.'' He ordered, slowly getting to his feet. Kamal looked down, eyes fixed firmly on Mirwais.

Wali nodded obediently and his eyes painting a clear picture of the fear he held towards Assef and I. He inched his way towards Aarash, like a fucking snail, his body language tense. Aarash glared daggers at him. Wali hesitated, for the briefest of moments, looking back to see if Assef was watching him.

My brother pursed his lips in a tight line, one hand resting on my shoulder, the other searching for his brass knuckles. Just in case Wali needed a little 'education.' Aarash hissed, teeth gritted, lips flecked. Wali gulped and looked away as he cracked the psychopathic boy upside the head. I laughed at the sound his hand made, connecting with Aarash's skull.

''I swear to _God_ I'm gonna rip you to fucking pieces, Wali, I _really_ am...'' His threats were getting really fucking annoying. I closed my eyes, shaking my head to clear Aarash from my psyche. Easier said than done, mind you. I started work on Farsef's... shaft. Snip. snip. screamed again and after a while I began to get a headache. His high, frequent screams were enough to set my teeth on edge. Next to me, I heard Assef curse under his breath, obviously just as irritated as I was.

Begging and screaming, while amusing to hear at first, can quickly lose its charm and become really, really frustrating. I flicked my wrist and my nimble fingers sliced another bit of skin off. I went to slice again but noticed how little skin was left. Farsef's lower half was a mess of blood and gore and shredded, blood saturated flesh littered the ground around us. ''Assef,'' I said, signalling it was time to get the next 'toy' out...


	33. Shards of Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter Saria got her revenge on Farsef by beating and castrating him. She was distraught to learn that her actions may have had a negative effect on Adia, who she has grown to consider a sister. We continue with the same day as the torture escalates...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As with the previous chapter this one is extremely violent and gory. It contains scenes that younger readers may find disturbing. If anyone here is below the age of adulthood (whatever that is in your country), they may wish to skip this chapter. As always, I thank the fans, readers and subscribers alike for their patience. I know there's been a lapse in updates but I promise now Uni is over I'll get to putting out chapters at a quicker pace. :)
> 
> Another huge thank you to my co-author, Christany for all her editing and writing help with this chapter. She really deserves a medal of some kind for being such an awesome and patient co-author. :)

Farsef's whimpers and moans of pain began to increase, his face flushed, beads of sweat dripping down his forehead. I felt the corners of my lips tug upwards, and began to giggle. The knowledge that this boy was in so much pain, and that I was the cause of this pain, just brought a sense of the utmost joy to my heart. I reached out, my tiny gloved hand cupping the side of Farsef's bloodied face, tracing my fingernails along the length of each cut.

"P-Please, please.." he begged, tears coursing down his cheeks and onto his trembling, bruised body.

I smirked. "Shh, Farsef jan, don't beg. You remember your promise to me, don't you?"

He nodded, his lips a thin line. I saw tears pooling over in his dark grey eyes, but the fire had returned, the resolve to stay strong. I could hear Aarash breathing heavily. I didn't even have to look at him to know he was glaring daggers at me. "Farsef.." he breathed, voice choked with sorrow.

'Fucking piece of shit,' I thought, resisting the urge to flip him the bird. There were more important things to be dealing with. From the corner of my eye, I spotted little Adia curled up into a ball, her head rested on her knees. Her cries and wails grew louder with each passing second. "No.. no.. oh God, Saria, why? Whyyyy?" she sobbed, shaking all over. "No, God no, this can't be happening, this is a dream, j-just a d-dream.. please, let me wake up!"

I clenched my fists. Her wailing and babbling was seriously beginning to get on my nerves. What was the big fucking deal? It wasn't as though I were doing this shit to her, was it? In fact, I had gone out of my way to be accommodating to the little bitch, and she had the goddamn audacity to act in such a childish manner?

"Adia.." I growled lowly. "Please.. be.. quiet," I spat the words through gritted teeth, my eyes narrowing into two cat-like slits. She gasped and shrank back.

"I-I'll be quiet, Saria.. I-I'm sorry, I.." Adia mumbled, wiping her tears with the heel of her hand. My eyes travelled from her tiny, trembling body, to the gun lying a few feet away in the snow. Adia's eyes followed my gaze and she covered her mouth with both hands. "Sorry," she pleaded, her voice barely above a whisper.

I hissed. "One more word from you, Adia. Just one more word.." I trailed off, letting the thinly veiled threat hang in the air. She lowered her head submissively and I puffed my chest out in pride, knowing I had complete control over her.

"Kiddo, kiddo?" Assef asked. I ignored him; the need to teach my bitch a lesson had taken all of my attention. My brother clicked his fingers impatiently. "Saria!" he barked.

My head snapped up. ''Yes, Assef? Sorry, I-" I jerked my head in Adia's direction, "had a little problem to deal with."

Assef nodded in understanding, gesturing to the bag which he knelt next to. ''What do you want me to get out here?'' he asked.

I glanced at Farsef. Tears ran down his face and his body trembled from both cold and fear, little sobs escaping his lips with each passing moment.

My eyes travelled downwards, coming to rest upon his blood-spattered nether-region. My face flushed and I heard Assef begin to snigger immaturely. God, would he ever just stop? I loved my brother to pieces but really he was starting to get on my nerves.

I rolled my eyes and slashed the peeler diagonally across Farsef's shaft once again. He let loose a high-pitched, agonised shriek and briefly made me lose concentration. The peeler became caught in his skin and when I tried to yank it out I ended up taking with it a larger chunk than I would have liked.

''FUCK!'' I swore, pulling the long strip of skin out of the peeler and tossing it aside with a look of disgust. I raked it vertically down Farsef's shaft, laughing as he moaned in pain and involuntarily jerked upwards. As he did so, his right foot caught me in the stomach by accident.

He was too weak to do any real damage plus the ropes binding him wouldn't allow for much movement but the kick was enough to startle me and knock me off balance. I fell over onto my side, feeling a sharp pain in my left arm as it grazed along the hard ground. I howled in frustration and pain, making Farsef shiver. Assef was at my side in an instant, placing a hand under my elbow and lifting me upright, supporting me as I placed one hand on my forehead and massaged my throbbing arm with the other.

Assef rested his hand against my back, his eyes watching me with a deep concern. I gritted my teeth and looked up at him. In his blue eyes, I noticed I shared the same furious cold look as he. I let out a low, whistling exhale, teeth still gritted together. Farsef whimpered.. ''Assef... please, fetch me the lemon zester and that lemon,'' I said slowly, feeling a burning rage course through me as I turned to glare at Farsef. Assef nodded, checking me over to make sure I hadn't been seriously hurt then clapped me on the shoulder.

''Okay, Saria. Wait right there.'' As he walked over to the bag, I stealthily approached Farsef, my teeth bared in a guttural snarl, revelling in the look of horror on his face. I grabbed the boy's wrists and pulled him into a sitting position. As I did so I couldn't help but notice the harsh, maroon coloured rope burns covering both of his wrists.

Those must have hurt like a bitch. Farsef shied away from me as I placed my hand under his chin. Unlike before, there was to be no moment of kindness or warmth. I leaned in close to his face. His eyes widened and he let out a squeak as I cracked him across the face. The sound of my hand connecting with his skin seemed to quieten everyone and even Aarash was unable to spew any more threats or curse words.

I leaned in close to whisper in Farsef's ear. ''What the fuck was that about?'' I asked, my voice low. His eyes widened as I slapped him again. ''WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING? ANSWER ME!'' I howled, slapping him repeatedly. His face was soon marred with angry red marks from my handprints. I pushed him backwards, laughing as his head collided with the ground and he moaned in pain.

I leaned down, placing my right hand across his mouth by way of gagging him, the other wrapped tight around his neck. The little cunt struggled underneath my vice like grip as I leaned my elbow on his chest to restrict his movements. Assef looked over at us, from where he knelt, rooting through the bag for the lemon zester.

I pressed my knee up against Farsef's sides and he screamed, a scream that was muffled by my hand as I intentionally put strain on his broken ribs. ''Listen up, you little kunis, I'm trying to make this as easy as possible for you, but after that little stunt, I think I might go back on my word.''

Just as I suspected, Farsef began to shake his head frantically, tears pouring down his face. He tried to say something but was unable to get the words out. I tightened my grip around his neck and slammed his head repeatedly against the ground. ''Did you really think you could try to fight me? Stupid boy!'' I mocked cruelly. He gulped, trying to mouth an apology, but failing to elicit any remorse or sympathy from me. I leaned in close to his face, our noses touching, my eyes narrowed like a feral cats.

''I'm going to show you just what I'll do to you if you ever lash out at me again. And you're going to sit here and fucking take it, like the cunt you are.'' I slapped him again, then released my hands and stood up. He began coughing and spluttering uncontrollably, tears running down his face like a faucet, black and blue marks forming around his neck from where I had choked him.

''Sorry, so sorry... I'm sorry...'' he pleaded with me as I loomed menacingly over him, placing my foot on his stomach and pressing down hard, making him gasp and wheeze for air. I sneered down at him in total disgust.

''Save your fucking breath,'' I hissed, kicking him in the head. The wail he gave in response to this made me giggle immaturely. Fucking cunt. Assef looked up, still digging through the bag and grinned. I got the impression he was becoming more and more excited about this as the day went on. I began to get impatient.

What the fuck was taking so long? God, it must have been about three or four in the afternoon. We needed to get these things done. ''Do you need help, brother?'' I asked, genuinely wanting to offer assistance if he needed it.

Assef shook his head, his arm reaching deep into the bag. He pulled something out, beaming triumphantly. ''Ha! Found it! Heads up, Sar.''

He tossed a medium sized lemon at me. I fumbled and it brushed off my fingers and landed on the ground.

"Fuck.." I swore. My brother had always been so much better at throwing and catching than I was, ever since we were young children. I grumbled as I bent down to pick the lemon up. ''Assef, please don't throw the zester at me, unless you want me to injure myself,'' I said seriously. He nodded though I noticed him roll his eyes, clearly thinking I was making too much of a fuss. Can I help it if I have shitty hand-eye coordination?

Farsef moaned loudly, breaking me out of my thoughts. I viciously kicked him in the side of the head making him fall silent with a little whimper. ''Shut your fucking mouth and don't speak unless I tell you to,'' I ordered. Looking down at the sobbing boy, I noticed my black shoes were now saturated in blood, some fresh, some already dried in from where I had been kicking him.

I immediately flew into a panic. How much blood had been wasted? '1.8 litres. He can lose 1.8 litres and live. Assef said so. Calm down, Saria, he's not gonna die just yet. Calm down,' I tried to reassure myself. Assef noticed the concerned look on my face and came to stand beside me, lemon zester swinging from his left hand.

With his right hand he reached out and squeezed my tiny fingers. ''You okay?'' he asked. His eyes travelled from the worried look in my eyes to my blood-soaked feet which I was hastily wiping clean in the snow. Assef nudged me in the ribs. ''You still worried about that? Come on, Sar, he's not leaving us just yet. I promise.''

He hugged me briefly. ''You spill as much blood as you want, my sister.''

I nodded, trying to push the worries to the back corners of my mind. ''I'm going to sit down, call me if you need anything,'' Assef said, inclining his head towards the log.

''Okay. Enjoy the show.'' We both grinned sadistically at each other, Aaraah's silence finally breaking as he let loose a stream of curse words and threats.

''DON'T YOU FUCKING HURT HIM, YOU LITTLE CUNT! DON'T YOU DARE!'' He kicked at the ground and punched the ropes holding him captive, eyes wild and furious. I noticed his voice breaking as he said the words, cracking with the tears that spilled down his face and onto the ground. His pain was my pleasure...

I bit my lip and grinned, slowly pacing around Farsef, like a cat paces around a mouse. I waved the lemon in front of his face. ''What... What are you going to do with that?'' Farsef asked, his eyes widening in pure terror. He tried to scuttle away from me but was unable to.

Fucking little brat. I smirked, casually juggling the lemon from one hand to another trying my level fucking best not to drop it again. I wanted to tease little Farsef to draw his mental suffering out as long as I could. Not only that but the thought of touching his... privates again made me feel sick. As it would make any normal person of my age feel. Behind me, I heard my brother clear his throat irritably. I turned and smiled understandably.

''Okay, Assef. I know. I'll get right on it.'' He nodded, and I knelt to take my place at Farsef's... crotch once more. Even looking at it made me want to gag. My eyes darted every which way, trying to avoid his scrotum. Ew.

Just thinking of the word made my stomach turn, and bile make it's way up into my mouth. I quickly swallowed it down, and steadied myself for the task ahead. My eyes took in the assortment of wounds left upon Farsef's naked body. My lips curled upwards in a sadistic grin as I began to grate the lemon, allowing the pieces of its skin to fall around Farsef's body.

He whimpered in terror but stayed relatively quiet. Smart little cunt. Assef grunted impatiently. I knew he was eager to see more blood be shed. To hear more screams. Nodding, I turned my attention to the cuts littering Farsef's torso. My lips curled upwards as I remembered how I had poured salt into Adia's open wounds.

How it made her scream and twist. How her eyes rolled back into her head. The exciting butterfly feeling in the pit of my stomach when she did this. Lemon juice would hurt just as much as salt, wouldn't it? I looked at my brother who was drumming the fingers of his right hand impatiently against his leg.

Right. I should probably get this over with. I exhaled, and once again knelt down at Farsef's shaft. Gulping and with a trembling hand, I caught it and pulled it apart slightly. He was a total mess, shredded flesh littering the blood-spattered ground. My hand trembled. This was absolutely gross. I raked the zester along the front of his... shaft. As he yelled in pain, I couldn't help the slight chuckle that escaped my lips. My hand trembled, its grip on Farsef's... nether region.. loosening a bit. Okay. Time to have a bit of fun at his expense.

The castration could wait a few minutes, yes? With the lemon bouncing in my hand and the zester swinging by my hip, I moved so that I was kneeling by the petrified child's head. He looked down at his shredded nether region and gasped in shock. I heard him begin to cough and splutter as he tried to refrain from puking his guts out on the floor. Honestly, I kind of felt the same way. I winced, knowing that I would have to touch his... privates again.

'He deserves it,' I tried reasoning with myself. With a deep sigh, I began to zest the lemon once more. Farsef winced as the pieces of fruit landed on his body. He was so fucking sensitive that even the slightest touch caused him pain. That was good.

His tearful cries were music to my ears. Once I had zested the lemon as much as possible, I knelt down at Farsef's face. His eyes never left mine as I gently traced my index finger along the lacerations adorning his sweat covered face. Despite my best efforts to cauterise them, they were beginning to split open due to the amount of yelling he had been doing.

No matter. I could now use this inconvenience to my advantage. With a cruel smirk marring an otherwise pretty face, I dangled the lemon in front of his face. He bit his lip, eyes squinting up at me. ''W-What are you going to do with that?'' He could barely get the words out.

I continued to tease him, remaining silent as I dangled the lemon in front of his eyes, feeling a suppressed chortle run through my body at the petrified look in his eyes. His skin quivered as I touched it. I could hear Aarash begin to scream angrily, kicking and punching at the ground. I had to admit, his threats were getting a bit repetitive.

Okay, yeah, scratch that. A lot repetitive. It was always; 'Fuck you, Saria' or 'I'm gonna kill you, Saria.' Yeah. Change the fucking record. I decided to simply ignore whatever it was he was hollering about this time and instead focused my attentions solely on Farsef's lacerated face.

My fingers, which were getting a slight chill from this bitter, icy weather, became a little sore as I poured lemon juice onto the gaping wounds at either side of Farsef's mouth. His back arched and he let out a shrill scream of pure agony. Assef laughed, his eyes brightening with excitement, clearly loving this.

Not that I could disagree with him. I mean, I had to admit the way Farsef gagged each time the lemon juice would 'accidentally' enter his mouth was pretty damn funny. The little cunt made for quite a humorous torture victim, whether he knew it or not. His facial expressions were just priceless.

In fact, I really wish I could have brought some type of recording device to film this entire day. Such a pity I hadn't thought to do so. No matter, I knew I would certainly remember this until my dying day. Farsef's entire body jerked and spasmed as the cuts on his mangled body were saturated in lemon juice.

''This is what happens when you fuck around with me,'' I said menacingly, crouching down in the snow and running the tips of my fingernails across his cheeks. He wouldn't dare to even look me in the eye, a sign that he was absolutely terrified of me. I turned his chin, forcing it back in the right direction. ''But you seem to be holding up your end of the deal, which is good. You know not to kick or hit at me again, don't you?''

As I said this, I dug my nails into one of the cuts, near his jawline. ''DON'T YOU?'' I yelled when I didn't get the response I was looking for.

Farsef nodded hurriedly. ''Y-yes, I mean no, Saria, I m-mean... I won't lash out again. I won't.'' I grinned slightly, letting my eyes bore into his for a long moment. I could still see that fight within him. That desire to push through this ordeal no matter the cost. The shine in his eyes that said; 'I know I'm going to die, but I'll die a fighter.' It made me feel... proud, if that's the right word.

Like I had a worthy opponent. For the longest time, Farsef and I just stared at each other. He whimpered, petrified of what I could do to him next. I became so engrossed in the moment that I failed to notice someone approaching from behind me. It was only when I felt a hand upon my shoulder that I came back to reality. I whipped round, lost my footing and landed on my ass in front of my brother, who winced apologetically.

''Sorry, kiddo, did I startle you?'' he asked, extending a hand to pick me up. I got to my feet and dusted myself down.

''I guess you could say that. Why'd you sneak up on me, Assef jan?'' He placed his hands on his hips, and looked Farsef up and down. The young boy's trembling form seemed to become almost like a statue as my Assef paced in front of him.

Farsef was trapped in a real 'fight or flight situation.' Not that he would be able to do either, ha! I turned my head, squinting my eyes up at my brother. He took on a more somber demeanour as he pointed his finger at the mangled bits of flesh that made up Farsef's crotch. He raised an eyebrow.

''You're not trying to avoid this castration, now are you?'' he asked.

I shook my head, laughing at the thought. ''No, no, of course not. Heh.'' I once again knelt down in the snow. My skirt dripped blood and lemon juice onto the ground and I felt a shiver run up my back. Assef's hand gripped my elbow firmly,as if he thought I might run away. I turned and faced him once again.

''Yeah, right. I know what you're thinking, Sar. Your Assef knows you.'' I bit my lip. He wasn't mistaken on that part. But come now, what girl my age jumps at the chance to touch a boys... member. I couldn't be blamed for wanting to delay it as long as possible.

Assef leaned into my ear. ''You're too stubborn, kiddo. Let your older brother help you out. Eh? Sit down and let me do it.'' He was kind to offer, really, he was, but this was something I had to do for me. The pain of knowing my womb was barren was a pain that, despite how much he cared for me, Assef would never fully understand.

After all, he would still be able to father a child should he ever decide to in the future. I had to castrate Farsef to satisfy my inner demon. To take what Aarash had done to me and use it against his brother. With an apologetic look to my Assef, I crawled back to Farsef's.. dick. I shuddered, taking hold of it.

''Let me do this, Assef. You and I both know why it has to be me. Don't we?''

He nodded in terse understanding and took his place back at the log. He folded his arms and rested his chin on the palm of his right hand. ''Alright. My offer still stands though, kiddo.'' How sweet of him to be so concerned for me. What a truly exceptional human being my Assef was.

The sun began to peek through the leaves as I once again took hold of Farsef's bloodied shaft. I ran the zester up and down, taking little bits of skin with it as he yelped in agony. His testicles hung loosely against his legs as I began slicing and dicing him. Fucking gross. Yet I knew it had to be done. It had to be done now.

My face became stern and emotionless as I focused my attentions once again on the task at hand. Before my dress would swish and sway every time I moved, yet it now hung like wilted lettuce around my thighs. My black ballet pumps were now turning a deep red in colour. Farsef's screams took on a higher pitch as I quickly cut off more and more skin from his shaft.

'Funny, I thought his voice was supposed to go deeper when his balls dropped,' I thought, then snickered to myself. Farsef's eyes darted all around him, as if he was trying to avoid looking at his mangled genitals. Believe me, I wished I could do the same. It was sickening to watch how his penis seemed to shrivel up in my palm. It was enough to make a girl want to vomit. 'I have to do this,' I told myself, pulling another bit of skin from his... Well, do I need to say it? Farsef's back arched as he let out a blood-curdling shriek.

I cut him again, this time pulling off more skin than I had ever anticipated, exposing veins and muscle. It was truly frightening to behold. I turned my head away, my eyes scouring the forest to watch if Adia had seen this. I hated that she was involved but to me there was no other option.

No way for me to prove how deeply I cared for her. With a guilty feeling sinking deep into my heart, I caught her eyes. She was backed into a corner, her tiny frame pinned against the tree stump Kamal's Mirwais was resting on. Tears made their way down Adia's cheeks. I turned my head away, partly due to the guilt I felt, partly because her constant crying was getting to be quite irritating.

As I exhaled and faced my victim once again, I cracked a triumphant smile in the knowledge that I was almost fucking done castrating him. Just a few more cuts and his genitals would be history. With a malevolent look in my eyes, I once more peeled skin from his.. Dick. The pulsating flesh was grotesque to touch. 'Look at all these muscles. Perhaps I ought to consider becoming a Biology teacher!' I giggled to myself at the thought. Couldn't you just see me performing a dissection?

''WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?'' Aarash's furious howl brought me abruptly out of my reverie. He pounded his fists on the ground, craning his neck to see what terrible ordeal was befalling his loved one. The goddamn prick kept interrupting. I narrowed my eyes in his direction, letting out a hiss. God.

Did we have to kill Farsef to get him to shut up? With my left hand, the one resting on Farsef's upper thigh, I flipped Aarash the bird. Childish, I know. But the asshole deserved it, right? I grinned, then refocused my attention on the task at hand.

Only a few more cuts. Only a few and this disgusting mutilation would be over with. Then I could get back to more amusing parts of torture. Perhaps I'd melt his hands next. We'll see. As I looked up, I noticed my brother was kneeling down at Farsef's head, gently stroking the petrified child's hair. He didn't even seem to notice me leaning over him. I bent down to whisper in his ear.

''Is everything okay, brother?'' I asked, making him jump slightly as he turned his head in my direction.

His lips grew into a wide smile, the kind of smile he always seemed to get when plotting. The kind of smile that makes me go 'Oh what's he up to now?' That sly grin makes me want to roll my eyes. Assef beckoned for me to come closer to him.

I put my mouth next to his ear, hesitantly anticipating what he would say next. I was getting the feeling that Assef found this all a bit too enjoyable. Still, who was I to begrudged him any fun? This entire day would never have come to pass if not for him.

Assef tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. ''You need a break, kiddo. Why don't you go and sit on that log over there, and let me have a little chat with Farsef. Go on.'' He pointed emphatically towards the log. I nodded, wandering over to take my place, feeling a bit... awkward about what my brother was planning.

No sooner had my backside hit the log, did he jump into action. He hauled Farsef up into a half-standing position, using his body weight to keep the trembling child from collapsing in a heap.

Farsef gulped audibly as Assef lifted his chin, directing it towards where Aarash slumped against the tree. The bound teenager's eyes went wide as he gaped at his younger sibling's injuries. He let out a roar of both rage and horror. Assef laughed and pointed towards Farsef's mangled crotch. ''Like what you see?'' he asked sarcastically.

My eyes narrowed. I got to my feet and walked over to him. He grinned at me, reaching out to squeeze my hand. ''Sweet Lord, my Assef, what the fuck?'' I asked. I glanced at Farsef.

'Oh GROSS,' I thought, when my eyes came to rest upon Farsef's bloodied testicles, which hung from his body, ripped to shreds by the expert hand of yours truly.

Aarash let out another scream of rage, terror and indignation. ''WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO? SARIAAA! SARIA, YOU SICK LITTLE WHORE! WHAT THE FUCK?'' He slammed his fists against the ground. Tears began to fall from his eyes. He covered his mouth with one hand, and shook his head frantically, as if by doing so he could make everything okay again.

His dark eyes never left his younger brother's destroyed privates. He just stared at them like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. When he finally found the words to speak yet again, his reaction was no less than I would have expected from him.

''What the fuck is wrong with you? God fucking damn it, do you get off on this, Saria Ahmed? Does this sick shit turn you on? Huh? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?'' He angrily punched the ground in frustration.

''LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO MY BROTHER! LOOK WHAT YOU DID, YOU CUNT!'' he roared, spitting the words as he spoke. Assef laughed and slung an arm round Farsef's shoulder. He gently rubbed the boy's cheek with one finger. I rolled my eyes to heaven. My brother's actions were starting to get on my nerves despite how much I may have loved him.

The afternoon was setting in and I knew we had to hurry if we wanted to be done before night fell. Not only that but I was starting to get a bit paranoid. I was convinced that someone would come by. If anyone were to wander across us, we would all be seven kinds of fucked. I placed a hand upon my chest and breathed out deeply, trying to shake my worrisome thoughts from my already fragile psyche.

Not that it did fuck all. It seemed I was always anxious over some crappy thing. It was just my nature and it couldn't be helped. I watched my brother's finger trace patterns around Farsef's neck, leering at him.

''Looks like you two had fun, doesn't it, Fars?'' he teased, running his hand across the boy's chest. ''You weren't a bad looking guy either. Such a pity my sister chose to disfigure you in the way she did. Oh well.'' Farsef shied away as my brother leaned in to whisper in his ear. ''It's not like anybody besides us is going to see you like this, is it?''

Assef turned and winked at me. I cocked an eyebrow but grudgingly returned the wink. A high pitched female shriek caught my attention and my head whipped round, looking for the source of the noise though I knew full well who it was.

Little Adia had seen what I had done to Farsef. Her big dark eyes filled up with tears. She collapsed to her knees and let out a long, drawn out wail. Her fists clutched at her hair as she tilted her head back and screamed.

''Why? Why? God, Sariaaa!'' She began to cough and splutter as though she was about to vomit. Her eyes rolled back. She gagged again, tears streaming down her face. ''No! No, it's not real! It can't be real!"

I clenched my fists by my sides, my lips pulling back, showing my teeth in another snarl. Her constant shrieking and wailing was starting to get on my nerves.. "No.. no, Godddd!" Adia shrieked. She stared at Farsef, as if she could hardly take her eyes off him. "Saria.." she choked out.

Turning to face her, I saw every tear, every emotion the little girl was feeling. 'She has to see this,' I told myself. After all, it was important that I teach Adia what happens to those who disobey Saria Ahmed. Still, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt over what I had caused her.

For some odd reason, I felt that I had formed some sort of emotional connection with Adia. Perhaps it was through the abuse we both suffered at the hands of Aarash or perhaps it was something bigger, but either way, something drew me to this little girl.. Still, this bond was in no way comparable to the one I shared with Assef.

I quickly glanced at him, giving a small smile. He was, and still remains to this day, my everything. Yet, to see Adia in such distress really hit me in the deepest levels of my core. I wanted to shield her eyes from all the horror around her. I wanted to take her as far away from here as possible. A sudden, frightening thought entered my mind.

There was a strong possibility that Adia's fragile mental state would be irreversibly damaged because of what she saw here. Was she afraid of me now? I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of Adia distancing herself from me, all because of my stupid decision to bring her here.

Now more than ever I began to regret dragging her into all this. She was only a child after all, and while you might say, 'Saria, so are you'; Adia still retained that sense of light which had long eluded me. I didn't want to take that from her. Not one bit. Giving a quick shake of my head, I tried to push any thoughts like this to the back of my mind and focus solely on the task at hand.

Something my brother needed reminding of, I think. He was now leering at Farsef, his blue eyes shining with the utmost delight. He would laugh every time he noticed he was getting a reaction out of Aarash. It was like this is something he fed off of. I cocked my eyebrow, letting my shoulders slump ever so slightly as I trudged my way back to him.

Assef grinned at me, nudging me in the ribs. ''Hey kiddo, come to join in the fun, eh?'' His voice was dripping with excitement, and he almost seemed to bounce off the walls every time he got a reaction out of Aarash. It was like he was a kid on Eid, just full of childish delight about the pain he was causing.

I mean, I couldn't really blame him yet at the same time, I was a bit irritated that he'd interrupted me. I placed my head in my hands and sighed, wondering how much time my brother had wasted. It must have been at least three or four in the afternoon now. ''Assef, give it a fucking rest,'' I swore under my breath.

Assef grinned at Aarash. ''Such a pity my little sister didn't let me join in any of the fun. Guess she just wanted your Fars all to herself.'' At this, he turned and jabbed me in the side, cracking up. My face took on an almost darkened expression.

I raised an eyebrow. ''Assef jan, stop. Please, I really want to get this over with. Just... Just sit back down. We're wasting time. Please.''

Assef looked down at the ground, scuffing it with the toe of his black sneaker. He muttered something under his breath and while I couldn't make out what it was, I knew full well he was a little pissed off at me for chastising him. With a stern look on my face, I jabbed my finger in the direction of the log.

''Brother, sit down. Let me finish what I was doing. Go!'' Assef gave me a sharp, angry look and I bit my lip. Had I really just been so rude to my brother? Had I been too harsh? 'Shit, I hope he's not mad at me,' I thought, giving Assef a sheepish glance. With a guilty look passing from me to him, I let my voice and expression soften.

''No disrespect, of course. Just... Let me finish up here. Please go and sit back down.''

''Fine,'' Assef sighed. He let go of Farsef's arms and gave him a push back onto the hard ground. Farsef whimpered as he landed on his back. Assef stalked back to the decaying log, grumbling a stream of profanities under his breath.

He leaned his head against a nearby tree and kicked the snow covered ground impatiently. ''There you go. He's all yours, little sister.''

''Ooh, looks like we know who wears the pants in this relationship!'' Aarash teased, slapping his knee as he cracked up at what he thought was obviously a hilarious joke. Nobody else laughed though, too afraid of what the consequences would be for doing so. Aarash looked expectantly at his younger brother. For just the briefest of seconds, the two looked into each other's eyes, then Farsef took a deep breath and faced me again.

He had fresh tears streaming down his face, on top of the old ones that had already dried on his scratched and bruised cheeks. I knew he must have been so humiliated, and broken. He would welcome death at this point. Too bad I had yet to finish with him. ''Forgive me for that interruption,'' I said, shooting a glare at my brother, who continued to kick at the log like a petulant child. It's a wonder he didn't stick his tongue out at me.

A little whimper brought me back to the task at hand. With my left hand, I reached up and wiped a bead of sweat from across my forehead. My eyes squinted darkly at the blood it left on my palm. I instantly flew into another panic attack.

'Shit! Fuck, fuck what if he's losing too much blood?' I thought. The lower half of my skirt was now drenched in blood, so much so that I would end up disposing of it later. The blood that spilled from his crotch has now formed a puddle reaching all the way back to his legs.

Only a few more cuts and this whole disgusting castration would be finished. I smiled to myself at that joyous thought. My fingers gripped the edges of the lemon zester, once again bringing it close to Farsef's.. shaft.

I inspected him closely, trying to find a place to make a starting point. He was so totally shredded, it was hard to find those pieces of flesh I had not dealt with. Eventually, I managed to place the edge of the zester against his... well, do you really need me to say it?

Just as I was about to make my incision, Assef violently kicked the log he was sitting on. The sound of the cracking, snapping bark made me jump violently. My hand jerked forward, against my own volition and I ended up almost taking one of my own fingers off in the process.

''FUCK!'' I cursed, shooting a deadly glare at my brother. ''What the fuck is your problem, Assef? I could have hurt myself. Damn, I'm having enough trouble with this as it is.''

Assef rolled his eyes. ''Yes, I can see that. You're doing a really shitty job, actually. Not that you'd ever accept my help, would you? Oh no, this is something my selfish bitch of a sister wants to do all by herself, no matter how much of a mess she's fucking making.'' He kicked the log again.

I covered my mouth, holding back a sob, and turned away. Tears stung at the corners of my eyes and I blinked furiously to stop them falling. I knew that if even just one were to fall then the other's would follow in quick succession. I clenched my fist. No way in hell was I going to allow myself to cry with Aarash in the vicinity. I tilted my head back, catching a glimpse of my brother's face as I did so.

Gone was the petulant scowl and in its place was a look of remorse and empathy. Within seconds he had made his way over to me. I relaxed considerably as I felt his arm wrap round my shoulder. His rich Pashtun accent was a welcome sound in my ear.

''I'm sorry, kiddo,'' he murmured, kissing the top of my head. I leaned my head against his. ''I don't mean to be so rude to you. You're doing an excellent job, you truly are.'' He gently stroked the back of my hair, the feeling of his hand giving me at least a small comfort. ''And I understand why it has to be you. Guess I'm just getting restless.''

He released me. ''You have fun, sister. Just don't leave me hanging for too long.'' There was a humorous, teasing edge to Assef's voice and I couldn't help but release a small giggle. Farsef closed his eyes, and I felt his penis tense up in my hand. Right. We had business to attend to. I made another long cut across his scrotum. His answering scream echoed in the forest.

Grinning, Assef sat back down. I cut the final pieces of skin off, each in rapid succession and moved back, admiring my hard work. Farsef's private parts looked as though they had been set upon by a chainsaw. Bits of flesh, veins and muscle hung around his legs and the blood loss was severe.

A fresh puddle was now expanding outwards, staining the hem of my pretty little dress. My hands were saturated with blood, some of it already drying into the underneath of my fingernails. The lemon zester and potato peeler lay discarded at my feet. They too were covered in blood and had pieces of skin stuck in them.

The once white snow was now a deep maroon. I knew that if I didn't do something to quell the blood flow soon, I would lose him. Honestly, I was amazed he even held out this long. Zainab had died within minutes of me attacking her and I did much less damage to her.

A steady stream of fresh blood poured liberally out of Farsef's crotch. There was absolutely no stopping it and I once again began to panic. 'Fuck, shit, shit! Goddamn it, Saria, don't just stand there do something!' I looked to my brother with wide, anxious eyes.

''Help me. Make the blood stop,'' I pleaded, using my hands to act as a tourniquet, ignoring the disgust it made me feel. Assef rolled his eyes, then gestured to something a little bit away from him. It was small and black in colour. I left Farsef's side for the briefest of moments as I hurried to get what my brother was pointing at. Looking down, I saw that it was my lighter.

I scooped it up and dangled the chain before my eyes. To be honest, it wasn't all that clear to me what Assef had wanted me to do with it. I would need to deal with the blood loss before I could even thinking about using the lighter. What the hell did Assef want me to do with it? I shook my head at him in confusion. He beckoned me closer with one finger.

Assef reached up to whisper in my ear, keeping his voice low despite the fact he was speaking in German. ''Why don't you use that to seal up his wounds? To cauterise them?'' He gestured to the lighter in my hand. My face broke out into the widest of grins. I clasped my hands under my chin, almost dropping the lighter in my excitement. I nodded frantically.

Yes! Why didn't I think of that? Now all my prayers seemed to have been answered! Before Assef could do or say anything, I flung my arms round his neck and kissed him on the cheek. He laughed and ruffled my hair. ''Go on then, kiddo.''

Nodding, I darted through the blood covered snow and back to Farsef. I squatted down, grabbed his mangled privates and clicked on the lighter. His expression changed to one of pure terror. His.. shaft or rather what was left of it, began to shake uncontrollably in my hand.

This, of course, made it very difficult for me to start cauterising him. I raised my hand and slapped him once across the face. ''Stop fucking moving!'' I ordered. ''Be still and I will get this done quicker.''

He eventually relaxed just enough so that I could begin the delicate process of sealing up his wounds. Farsef's teeth clamped down on his bottom lip, as he tried to keep from screaming out. He finally realised just how fucking irritating his begging was. Though I'm sure he would start up again, at least for now I had the silence I craved. I gave him a thankful smile, placing the ember flame against the gaping wounds.

His back arched and he let out a deep, guttural moan. I hummed an old German tune to myself. Only a few more moments and this would all be over. I would no longer have to worry about touching his privates or about the feeling of utter awkwardness it gave me. I could concentrate on the more... entertaining aspects of torture.

With a broad smile, I cauterised the wounds up ignoring the desperate, pleading cries that escaped from Farsef's lips. There. Now I was done. A childish giggle escaped my lips at the thought. I slowly got to my feet, placing a hand over my chest and let out a deep exhale.

I was finally done. A profound sense of accomplishment seemed to come over me. Tears of utmost joy filled up at the corners of my eyes. I bowed my knees, my hands clasped under my chin with innocent delight. Assef's laugh brought me out of my reverie. I whipped my head around to face him, a grin as broad as the horizon on my face. He stood up, making his way over to me.

''All done?'' he asked, slinging an arm over my shoulder and cuddling me to his waist. I nodded. Assef placed his head against mine, the two of us sharing a laugh at Farsef's expense. Of course, my joy quickly faded, making way to irritation when Aarash began to scream and curse at me once more.

''YOU FILTHY SLUT!'' he yelled, spittle flying from his mouth with each word. ''How dare you fucking lay your hands on him? You're a sick little whore, you know that? I'm going to fucking kill you, Saria. You hear me? I'm going to fucking gut you like a damn fish.''

Well. That sure put a dampener on a happy occasion, didn't it? On my left, I felt Assef's body go rigid. His grip on my arm tightened almost to the point where I became scared he might bruise or break it. My face must have given my discomfort away, for Assef immediately slackened his grip, giving me an empathic look as he stalked towards Aarash.

Aarash grinned up at him as if he had not a care in the world. ''Am I making you mad, Assef?'' he teased. He sneered up at my brother, his lip curling at the corner. Assef's fists trembled by his sides. I could tell he was getting pissed off, not that I could blame him.

Aarash just has that effect on people. ''Scared I might take your little fucktoy away from you? Tell me, does your sister put out? Come on, you must know this.''

With this, he leaned his head forward, sucked in a breath and lodged a great big wad of spit onto Assef's face. Assef wiped it away with his right hand, grimacing in disgust. My entire body began to tremble in rage. I clenched my fist so hard that I could feel the nails digging into skin. I wanted to rip Aarash's vocal chords out.

That might stop him from making crude remarks about my brother and I. I heard the dull thud of a fist colliding with a jawbone and Aarash's head cracked to the side. I could hear Assef raise his voice as he threatened him. ''Do not ever say such disgusting things about Saria again. Am I making myself clear?''

Aarash laughed. ''Aww, did I hit a nerve?'' he snickered, his eyes lighting up at the furious look on my brother's face. ''You look upset, Assef jan,'' Aarash feigned sympathy. ''Maybe Saria could suck you off. Would that cheer you up?'' He inclined his head in my direction. He licked his lips. ''Tell me, Assef, is your sister a good fuck?''

The colour all but drained from Assef's face. He shook all over, his jaw clenched eyes so wide they almost bugged out of their sockets. There were no word in either the finest parchment or the most expressive of languages to convey the absolute fury my brother and I were feeling at this very moment. How dare Aarash make such lewd remarks about us?

I felt physically sick, the mere thought of what that cunt was implying was enough to make even the hardest of sociopaths fill with rage. I had to do something to get all this anger out of me. My hands trembled as I once again knelt down in the snow, grabbed the revolver and, clutching it tightly between my little fingers aimed it at Farsef. My head was all over the place.

Farsef began to sob, his body becoming tense as I walked towards him, the gun cocked in my hands. No, I had no intention of killing him. I just wanted to scare the crap out of Aarash. Maybe then he would stop making incestuous remarks about my brother and I. Farsef's dark eyes widened as I pointed the barrel of the gun right between his wide, frightened eyes.

He held his palms up to me, begging for any sort of mercy that I might have had within the dark remnants of my psyche. His voice cracked as he spoke. ''Please, p-please, Saria... K-khanom.''

His respectful address made me perk up and my chest swell. No less than I deserved after all. ''Please,'' he begged again. His eyes never left the gun I was holding. They shone with fresh tears, tears I knew he was struggling not to let fall. 'Let him cry,' I thought. 'The cunt deserves it.'

To my right, I heard Aarash begin to scream loudly once more, his cocky expression melting into one of sheer terror as he caught sight of the gun aimed at his little brother's head. His eyes blazed with a fury that, even if I live to be a hundred, I will never be able to describe.

He pounded his fists against the ground, looking angrily from both Assef to me. ''You even think about pulling that trigger, Saria Ahmed, I swear, if it even passes your mind for a second, I will make you suffer in ways you could only imagine,'' he snarled, teeth bared like a wild animal's.

Assef rounded on him, cracking him in the face once again. ''Don't you threaten her like that!'' he growled in response, eyes narrowed into two slits. ''Keep your fucking mouth shut.''

Aarash laughed, batting Assef's hands away. ''What's wrong, Assef? Scared no one will want to drink your cum after your little bitch dies?'' The expression on Assef's face turned absolutely murderous. Even I felt a shiver run up from the base of my spine. Assef thundered toward me, his hands clenched, breathing deeply.

I let out a yelp of surprise as he yanked on the gun in my hands. I held fast and struggled as he tried to pull it away from me. We both almost fell to the ground in our desperation to keep hold of the gun. A sudden, terrifying thought entered my mind. What if the gun went off and shot one of us?

How could the other live if we caused it? No way would I let that happen. I pushed Assef back with one hand, using the other to hold the gun over my head, while he clawed at it, trying to reach. It was a fucking chore to hold him back, especially since Assef was so much taller and stronger than I was, but I somehow managed it.

I bared my teeth in a half-snarl. ''No, Assef, please! Let go!'' Assef gripped my arms. His expression darkened, the two of us stared at each other, as the gun fell into the snow with a loud thump. I wriggled free and bent down to retrieve it.

''Please, Assef. He's not worth it. Just.. Just go and sit back down. I'll deal with it, please.'' Assef gave me a long, skeptical glance. He placed a hand upon my shoulder, then gave a look to where Adia lay curled on her side, tears flowing like a waterfall from her dark eyes.

Assef pressed the gun into my hands. ''She needs to prove herself,'' he said simply, jerking his head in Adia's direction. The child in question let out a low moan like a wounded animal. A slight pang of guilt tore at the fabric of my heart. I ignored it and nodded to my brother.

''Okay. But you need to sit down.'' I pointed to the log, a half-stern expression on my face. Assef nodded, thankfully putting up less of a fight than he did last time, and went to sit back down.

Just as he reached the log, Aarash, whose timing was impeccably bad, decided to yell out; ''I didn't realise you were your little sister's bitch.'' Assef whipped round angrily, like a bull ready to charge.

He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off. ''He's not even worth it. Besides,'' I cracked a smile at Farsef who was now sobbing openly, much like Adia. ''I know how to really make him suffer.'' I grinned slyly at my brother. Assef ruffled my hair, the cold expression on his face slowly beginning to fade.

He took his seat, leaning one arm against his elbow, his chin resting on the palm of his hand. A spark danced in his blue eyes. He moved restlessly on the log while I began trudging my way through the snow, hands in my pockets, an expressionless look gracing my features. Adia curled into an even tighter ball as I approached her. Poor child was sobbing like no tomorrow.

I knelt down, gingerly placing a hand upon the small of her back. The other hand came up to brush a lock if ebony hair away from her face. My voice softened as I spoke her name.''Adia..''

She didn't acknowledge me, or even turn around which pissed me off but I let it slide. ''Adia, look at me. Now, please.''

Slowly, the little girl turned her head and my breath hitched at the sight of the tear tracks gracing her cheeks. I gestured with the revolver to where Farsef lay. ''Didn't I tell you you'd need to use a firearm?'' The quip was rather inappropriate but when have I ever been tactful?

I held the gun out to her, a sweet smile on my lips. This was somethIng we could both do together as sisters. An activity that I was certain would strengthen our bond. I gripped one Adia's little hands in mine, placing it on the handle of the gun. She backed away, whimpering, tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. I was getting impatient; we didn't have the fucking time for messing around.

Still, I kept smiling, kept up the pretence that everything would be okay despite my annoyance. The air was tense. I could hear my brother snort impatiently. Adia's desperate cry brought me right back to the moment. ''You're going to shoot Farsef for me, dear. You're going to watch him writhe and scream.''

''No, oh God, please, please, don't make me do this!'' Adia begged. She got on her knees, clasping her hands and extending them out to me, the revolver lying forgotten in the snow. She bowed her head and sobbed out the next few words. ''Please, Saria, I beg you! I don't wanna hurt anybody! I don't wanna!''

How it gave me such a profound sense of control to see her kneel like a slave at my feet. 'She doesn't deserve this, you know. Now she's going to be even more scared of you,' a small voice in the back of my head chastised me. I quickly pushed it aside and refocused my gaze on the child in front of me.

''Please pick up the gun, Adia. Pick it up and come with me.'' No sooner had the words escaped my lips did the little bitch start up again with the crying and the begging. She gripped the front of my dress, staining her little hands with blood. I noticed her glancing at Farsef, her tearful gaze lingering on the cuts and bruises that now adorned his body.

She fixed her eyes on one spot as she tried to avoid looking at his mangled crotch. Slowly, he turned his head, his lips parting to whisper a quiet, broken plea. ''Please, pl-please don't hurt me, Adia. Please, I'll do anything you want, just please, please don't shoot me!''

Adia turned to face me with wide, beseeching eyes. Now I began to feel even more conflicted. I felt guilty about exposing a girl I cared so much for to such violence in the first place. It seems these feelings would never go away. All I could do was push them to the back of my mind and try to focus on the task at hand.

I let my face become stoic as I pulled Adia to her feet. My grip became stern, authoritative as I dragged her over to where Farsef lay in the snow. She protested every fucking step of the way.

''Ow, Saria! Please you're hurting me! You're hurting me!'' she yelped, trying to push me away from her but I held fast and strong, my gentle demeanour fading quickly into one of annoyance. The little bitch ought to be grateful that I was paying attention to her. That I had even left her get off so easily after her betrayal.

She really was fortunate that I held so much love in my heart for her. Zainab and Fahrsan had died for lesser crimes. My hand came down with a resonating smack against her cheek, turning it a bright pink in colour. Adia's head cracked to the side and she let out a gasp of pain and surprise. There. That would teach the cunt not to fuck around with me, right?

I kicked Farsef onto his stomach using one foot pressed firmly on the back of his neck to stop him turning over. Not that he would; the boy was smarter than that. I pressed the gun into Adia's shaking hands, keeping one hand on her bony shoulder while the other gestured to the backs of Farsef's exposed knees.

''Go on,'' I said, trying to keep my voice as calm as possible. My little Adi ought not to be afraid or intimidated by me. After all, a bonding exercise such as this would only strengthen what I hoped would become the perfect sisterhood. I gently ran my fingers through her hair, a patient smile gracing my lips.

''Be a good girl for me, Adia. Help me punish Aarash for what he did to you. To us.''

She burst into tears, the sobs causing the revolver to shake in her hands. The air between us was tense, my own mind whirring like propellers with nervousness and anticipation.

If she lost control of the weapon, then God only knows what could happen. Who could get hurt. I stuck a hand out, trying to calm her jittery nerves. She let the gun slip from her trembling fingers, and gripped my tiny hand in her own. Her little body swayed back and forth. It was all too much for her to take.

Adia's knees buckled underneath her, almost sending her down to the ground. If not for my holding her up that's exactly what would have happened. ''If you do this for me, then I promise everything will be okay, Adia. You have my word,'' I reassured her, the palm of my hand resting upon her cheek.

She leaned in to my touch for the briefest of moments. My eyes travelled to the firearm that now lay discarded in the ever darkening snow. I bent down to retrieve it, my ever dwindling patience beginning to thin into nothingness. Did she think I wanted to sit and play cat-and-mouse games with her?

I extended the gun out to her just as one would a birthday present. Such a wonderful gift between two sisters. The opportunity to enter the world of chaos and discord that had been mine for so long. To know the surge of power that only came from hurting someone weaker than you.

''Take it. Go on,'' I offered sweetly. Her eyes travelled between the gun in my outstretched hand to my own pale blue eyes, which, judging by the look on her face, were pretty intimidating. Eyes are the windows to the soul, after all and never had a soul been as dark as mine. I pushed the gun towards her again. ''We'll do it together. I'll guide your hand. Okay?''

She continued to back away from me, almost tripping over her own feet in her haste to create as much distance between us as possible. "Poor thing,' I thought. Her refusal to hurt him may have been annoying, but really, what else could I expect from her? This was surely the most horrifying day she had ever had in her life.

Adia clasped her hands together again, her mouth quivering as she spoke.

''Please Saria. I don't wanna hurt him. I don't wanna be like...'' As soon as the words escaped her lips, she gulped, backing away, a tiny hand raised to clamp down on her disobedient mouth. She gave me a wide-eyed, apologetic look, but the damage was already done.

Every muscle in my body tensed up, the fabric of my wounded soul dissolving just that little bit more. I looked down at the gun in my hand, back to Adia, then down to the gun again. My eyes stung with fresh tears and I felt something akin to a sob building up in my chest.

It fought against me as I tried to push it down, letting out a strangled cry that made Aarash laugh smugly. 'You worthless shit,' I berated myself. 'Now she really must hate you.' The unspoken word of that sentence lingered in my brain, taunting me, mocking me. 'You. I don't want to be like you.'

She was supposed to be mine. My fucking sister. How fucking dare she treat me with such disrespect? I, who had defended and protected her against the most formidable of enemies. I who put my ass on the line time and time again, who had gone out of my way to protect her. How fucking dare she treat me like this? Upon seeing the look on my face, Adia tried mouthing a feeble apology to me but the damage had already been done.

With a feral snarl escaping my lips, I pushed her backwards. She landed with a thump on the hard ground, letting out a yelp of surprise and pain as her head collided with the ground, her eyes widening in horror at the sight of me approaching, gun aimed right at her head. With one hand I grabbed her chin, forcing it towards me.

The other hand I used to pry her mouth open, forcing the barrel of the gun inside. I put my finger on the trigger, just letting it rest there. For the longest time, Adia and I just stared into each other's eyes. The horror of what had befallen her was etched upon my 'little sister's' terrified face.

She shook like a leaf. 'What do you think you're doing?' A small voice in the back of my head piped up. It must have been my conscience. How nice of it to show up. I tried to push it aside but the voice, my fucking conscience, continued to belittle me. To chastise me for my actions. 'Do you really want to kill Adia? To kill a girl you claim to love so much?'

'She thinks I'm a monster. What hope is there for us?' I silently retorted back. Oh great. Now I'm arguing with myself. As if my mental state wasn't fucked up enough, let's add 'talks to herself' to the list of things that are wrong with me. A little whimper brought me back to reality. I pushed all thoughts of conscience from my mind.

Adia had to learn to obey. No matter what it cost.

''Listen to me, you little cunt,'' I snapped, wrenching her head back by the hair. I made sure to keep a firm grip on the dangerous weapon that I had placed in her mouth. ''I told you to do something and I expect you to do it. Unless, of course, you want to be the one we torture instead of Farsef. If that's the case, just say the word and I'm sure he'll gladly let you take his place.''

Adia's black hair flew in all directions as she shook her head in a frantic manner. She took my hand, gazing fearfully up into my cold, heartless eyes. ''No. I-I'm sorry, Saria. Please, I'll do whatever you want. Just please, don't hurt me.''

Funny, only mere moments ago she was on her knees, begging me not to hurt Farsef. Now here she was willing to shoot the boy all to save her own skin. Isn't human nature amazing at times? The self preservation that could make us hunt and kill each other like animals? I laughed, extending a hand to pull her up.

I shoved the gun back into her hands. ''Please be careful with this, Adia. I don't want you to hurt yourself.'' She nodded, aiming the gun at the backs of Farsef's legs. Tears poured down her face. I gently wiped them away with the heel of my hand. ''Don't cry so. You won't be able to see properly,'' I chastised her gently.

She let me guide her wrist so that it was aiming perfectly at where Farsef lay. "Just squeeze the trigger and pull. Can you do that for me?" I asked. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. Assef gestured for me to step back. When I did so he grabbed me close, positioning us so that his body was in front of mine.

What the fuck was he doing? Did he not want me to see what was going on? I brushed him aside, trying to get a better look at Adia. Assef turned to glare at me and pushed me behind him again. His voice softened as he chastised me. ''I don't trust her with that thing. Stand here with me, don't want you getting hurt,'' he whispered to me in German. I nodded.

Adia's finger seemed to squeeze the trigger for an eternity. Would she ever just shoot the fucker? Come on it couldn't be that difficult.. I had done it after all and I had just as much experience as she did with firearms. All it took was releasing the goddamn trigger. Why the fuck did it have to drag on so- bang!

I was shocked out my thoughts. My heart began pounding at one hundred miles an hour. I clutched my brother's arm in terror, my breathing as erratic as someone having an asthma attack.

My fear must have amused him somewhat because I heard him chuckle to himself as he placed a hand on my chin. "She did it. Look." I turned towards the scene unfolding before my eyes.

"Fuck yes!" I exclaimed loudly. Adia's arms flailed up in the air as the gun went off. She landed on her ass, the weapon clattering to the ground beside her. A deep moan of pain told me that Adia's bullet had hit its target. I walked over to inspect the girl's handiwork. Blood spilled profusely from the wound in Farsef's legs.

He was on the verge of hyperventilating as was Aarash. My chest swelled in pride. I walked back to Adia, my arms gathering her into a warm embrace. I stroked the back of her hair as she let out a sound that was half deranged giggle and half strangled cry.

''You did well, Adia jan. Really. You don't know how proud I am of you right now.'' I placed a gentle kiss upon her forehead then released her. She bowed her head down, refusing to meet my gaze. My heart broke for her, it really did. Still, I knew she would warm up to the idea of causing pain.

It wasn't as if this was undeserved, was it? I lifted her chin and looked deep into her dark brown eyes. In them I could see all the pain and shame she was feeling. The guilt of knowing she had hurt someone else. That she did not have the strength of character to stand up to me. She needed to take a break, we all did.

I turned to my brother, who reached out to take my hand in his. "Yes.. What is it, Saria?" he asked, a little concerned. I jerked my head in Farsef's direction. The boy in question let out a moan of pain, turning his head slightly to look at the bullet wounds Adia had made in his legs. His eyes widened at the sight of them and he began to gag.

"Why.. Why did you do this to me, Adia? I thought we were friends.. why?" His voice went up several octaves. Adia bowed her head down, hugging herself around the chest, slumping to her knees in remorse.

She buried her face in the palms of her hands, shaking with each sob that escaped her trembling form. My brother rolled his eyes, a cocky smirk gracing his lips. I, however, was not so disrespectful to my sister's pain.

Kneeling down, I wrapped my arms round Adia's trembling shoulders, pulling her head towards me as I leaned my head on hers. She clutched my bloodied dress, saturating it with her tears.

'You stupid fucking cunt, Saria. Why did you put her through all this? Look what you did to her.' Oh hello, conscience. Welcome back. How nice to hear from you again. Adia didn't even try to push me away from her though I was sure she must hate my guts.

Perhaps she just needed that comfort. Whatever the reason, I was glad of it. As I pulled away from her, I gently rested my hands on her shoulders. "You did so well, Adia. You did the right thing and I'm so proud of you. Would you like to sit down for a while?"

She nodded frantically, reminding me of one of those toy dogs that people sometimes have in those cars. I placed my hand on her cheek and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Okay then. You go sit down. You've been such a good help to me. Thank you." With this, I stood up, taking her by the hand and lead her back to the tree stump where Kamal sat with Mirwais. I gently helped her into a sitting position, brushing the scorpion's cage aside so there would be enough room for her to sit down. Kamal picked Mirwais up, and settled him onto his lap. I felt the corners of my mouth tug upwards. The little beast was kind of.. cute dare I say. Adia folded her tiny hands in her lap.

Clearly she was in a state of deep emotional shock. The kind that only comes from such a harrowing experience. I glanced behind me to Aarash whose mouth opened and closed like a goldfish. His eyes widened in horror at the sight of the blood pouring liberally from Farsef's mangled legs. He would probably start threatening at and cursing me out any moment. Just wait for it. Any minute now.

"YOU FUCKING WHORE.. WHY DID YOU DO THIS?" How did I know he was going to say that? Honestly, he shouldn't be so predictable with his threats and cursing. It was getting annoying. Would it kill him to add some variety? Aarash turned his head, eyes narrowing at the back of Adia's head. He slammed his open palms against the ground, his eyes nearly bugged out of his sockets.

"You piece of shit.. Adia, how could you do this to him? Fucking monster, that's what you are. How dare you treat us like this?" his voice broke on the last word. "How could you? After all I've done for you?" he asked.

If I didn't know any better I would say he was being genuine and not just trying to manipulate her. I know full well when people are being manipulative, however. After all, I am an expert at it myself.

"Farsef's done nothing to you, Adia, you whore..." Aarash slammed his fists against the ground once more. "Nothing! How dare you hurt him! What the fuck is wrong with you?" He shook his head in disbelief. "You're a monster... just like that German slut you call a 'friend.'

Adia covered her face with her hands and began to sob. It was clear that Aarash's harsh words were causing quite the heartache for her. I could see the guilt in her dark eyes and gently squeezed her upper arm. She rested her head on my shoulder, her sobs beginning to die down as we both held each other.

Farsef's whimpers and moans of pain made Adia tense up. She clutched onto me. I, who had caused all this pain and misery to her. Ironically, I was her one source of comfort and protection here today. My brother drummed his fingers impatiently against the log he was sitting upon. I met his gaze, rolling my eyes sympathetically at his plight of boredom.

''Let's take a break, Assef. Just for five minutes. We need it.. All of us,'' I suggested, making sure to keep using our mother's native tongue, to ensure nobody else got involved in these private conversations.

Assef nodded. ''Alright then, kiddo. Five minutes. No more. It's starting to get late and we have work to do." He grabbed Farsef by the shoulders and flipped him over. Farsef's legs brushed against the ice, making him yell out in pain.

What a little shit. Farsef looked up at my brother hopefully, perhaps thinking he would achieve the same comfort from him that Adia was now getting from me. Assef cracked a small smile at Farsef before he once again took his place on the old and decaying log. He rested his chin on the palm of his hand.

Adia began to sway back and forth, her eyes starting to roll back in her head. I was obviously not equipped to deal with someone who was about to faint. Causing pain was more my forte, not stopping it. "I'm going to be sick.." Adia moaned, clutching her stomach as she doubled over. "I'm going to be sick," she reiterated again.

'Oh gross please don't.. fucking don't..' I begged silently. Adia's shoulders hunched up and down with each dry heave that escaped her lips.

She coughed; a little stream of vomit and bile spewing out of her mouth and dirtying the white snow. I swallowed back the disgust it made me feel and held Adia's hair back as she retched and gagged. "Shh it's okay. Just let it all out. Good girl," I whispered in her ear. She turned her head to the side as she vomited yet again.

The look on Assef's face showed how utterly disgusted he was. He grimaced and slapped his forehead with his palm. "Disgusting bitch," he muttered in German. His unkindness towards Adia was really starting to get on my nerves. Who the fuck did he think he was? Had he no empathy for this sweet little girl's pain?

'You're the one who dragged her out here,' my conscience piped up again.

That was true but at least I had the good fucking sense to comfort her when it got too much. At least I wasn't laughing at her pain. 'This is your brother, Saria. Let him be,' I told myself. Adia returned her head to my shoulder and closed her eyes. I felt a sob once again start to build up in the pits of my stomach though this time I let it come, not bothering to hide it.

My fingers stroked the back of her head, offering her the comfort that nobody else could give her. Once again, my foolish actions had caused her pain. The thought made me sick to my stomach.

''I'm.. I'm sorry, Saria,'' Adia whispered brokenly against my chest. Her grip slacked and she nearly lost her footing. My hands instinctively shot out to catch her before she fell off the stump. ''I don't mean to upset you.''

How sweet it was of her to care so much for me. It made me feel even guiltier for how I was behaving. Like a mother attending to their fallen child I began to tenderly wipe away the tears on Adia's face.

Behind me, I heard Aarash scoff but I brushed his rude, cocky behaviour aside, focusing only on Adia. I gently smoothed out the creases on Adia's clothes and wiped off the blood that was now drying on her arms. She just sat there numbly, a literal bump on a log. A deep sense of empathy took control of my psyche and another sob clawed its way out.

I looked at her through blurred, teary eyes. ''You caused none of this, sweetheart. I just want you to know that.'' We both smiled shakily and I turned from her, the guilt in my soul fading if only a little. A loud cough, courtesy of my brother, made me jump. This was his way of saying 'hurry the fuck up.' He stared at Farsef's crumbled body with a hungry look in his eyes.

Assef clicked his fingers at me, signalling for me to come back over. Did he really think I would jump at his commands like a fucking dog through a hoop? My eyebrow arched with irritated sarcasm. Could he possibly be any more disrespectful?

''Five minutes are up, Saria. Come back here; I need to talk to you.'' There was a stern edge to his voice like he was about to tell me off. I begrudgingly got up from my seat, leaning over to plant yet another kiss on Adia's forehead.

''Just take it easy and remember none of this is your fault,'' I reiterated. She nodded, her eyelashes so wet with tears that they almost stuck together. My footsteps crunched in the snow as I made my way back to Assef, who stood with his arms folded across his chest.

Biting my lip, I looked up at him, shifting from one foot to the other in an attempt to look sheepish. ''You need to stop wasting time,'' Assef said, using the same demanding tone he does when speaking to Hamilra. The tension between us could have been cut with a butter knife. How dare he treat me like nothing more than a common servant?

''I know that, Assef and I'm not a fucking dog so stop treating me like one. A little bit of respect on your part would go a long way,'' I shot back, jutting my chin out defensively. Assef tensed; his body poised for the fight he must have been anticipating I would put up.

For a moment we both just glared at each other, then Assef relented. He sighed. ''I'm sorry, kiddo. I don't mean to offend you.'' It did sound genuinely sincere, I noted. No need for us to get into an argument when there was so much that still needed to be done. I gave a sharp nod, indicating that I forgave him.

A low whimper sounded behind me. Farsef. Of course. "Does the poor guy feel left out?" I wondered sarcastically. His hair was soaked in blood from a gash that someone's boot had left on his forehead. The bruises on his chest and stomach were turning a sickly yellow in colour, each one bigger than the last.

With a hysterical giggle that proved just how much I lost my sanity, I skipped back over to him. His head lolled from side to side. The fiery spark in his eyes began to dull like someone had thrown water on a burning candle. I was not going to let him leave me. A sharp slap to the face was quick to jolt him out of this stupor.

Assef began to laugh, a deep throaty cackle that resonated from deep within him. The malicious glint in his eye sparkled even more when Farsef slowly turned his head towards him, his mouth open in a silent plea. There was no doubt that my brother was desperate to 'play' with Farsef himself. The jealous look in his eyes when I had castrated the boy spoke volumes to me.

''Now what do you want to do?'' I asked him casually, beckoning for him to stand next to me. He draped an arm over my shoulder while we both grinned viciously down at little Farsef. A cold shiver ran up from the base of my spine as my eyes came to rest on his crotch which was now so bloodied it resembled something that had been put through a blender at the highest setting.

That deserved a pat on the back. Not many twelve-year-old girls would be able to pull something like that off, especially not with as much finesse. I began to zone out and a sharp jab in the ribs made me giggle, attracting my focus back to reality. Assef's eyes left my gaze, travelling in the direction of Farsef's shaking hands which were turning blue in colour from the snow I had been pouring on them.

I let my tongue slide across my bottom lip while Assef knelt down next to Farsef and inspected the frost bitten stumps that he called fingers. He picked his hands up and inspected each one with the same precision and care that a doctor would give their patients. The feel of my brother's nails poking and prodding in his already sensitive skin began to prove too much for Farsef, who let out a cry that made Adia clasp a hand over her mouth.

Even I had little to no ideas as to what my brother was planning. The look in his eyes seemed to grow even more deranged, more psychotic. He tugged on my arm, nearly sending me face down into the snow as he dragged me to my knees beside him. I let out a cry of indignation upon feeling my tights begin to ladder.

'And these were my good ones too,' a voice in the back of my head piped up. Assef grinned at me, an expectant sort of grin that made him look more like a child than the seventeen-year-old he was. His eyes flickered back and forth between the confused look on my face to the equally confused Farsef.

I cocked my head to the right, then the left. What did he want? What was he seeing that I didn't? I took one of Farsef's hands in my own, my eyes narrowing at the blue tinted skin. It felt cold to the touch, like the skin of a dead person often felt. The sense of overwhelming panic, the anxiety that had always been a part of me flared to life. He couldn't die. Not just yet.

I quickly pushed the thought aside, filing it away in the section of my brain where I stored all worries. My eyes drifted slowly from Farsef's hand, which slackened in my grip, to Assef's expectant look.

''Well, sister?'' he asked. He was close to bouncing up and down.

I pursed my lips. ''Well what?'' Assef laughed. ''What?'' I repeated, allowing a shaky chuckle to escape my own lips. ''What?'' My brother poured liberal heaps of snow onto Farsef's hands, arching his eyebrow in my direction. A bead of sweat ran down Farsef's forehead mingling with the tears already drying on his cheeks.

Realization of what Assef meant hit me like a sledgehammer between the eyes and I clapped my hands joyfully. Finally, I would get to perform an act of torture that wasn't going to be awkward as fuck, unlike that castration. I reached out and grabbed my brother's arm. "The hands? You want to boil his hands?"

He gave an affirmative nod, pressing a kiss to my cheek. We shared the same delighted look. The look only two psychopaths can have, the anticipation that only came from hurting someone weaker than you. Of course, it would take some time for the water to boil up, nothing we could do about that.

That, however, didn't mean there wasn't ample amounts of fun still to be had at this child's expense. Assef stood to his fullest height, inhaling a breath that made his chest puff out in a show of the utmost importance. He began to stalk towards his 'friends', his black trainers making little noise in the ever thickening snow...

Wali and Kamal instantly got out of their seats, heads bowed low as they waited for my brother to give the next instruction. I giggled; they reminded me of the soldiers I used to come across sometimes during trips to those... to the barracks as a little girl. Part of me was expecting the faggots standing before Assef to salute or whatever.

I chortled at the mental image and skipped over to my brother, who gestured for me to stand between his legs. When I did so he placed his hands on my shoulders as if he were presenting me to the world. Kamal and Wali both lowered their heads respectfully, not daring to even meet my glaze. Aarash gave a cocky snort.

''Look at you pathetic cunts. Don't tell me you're actually scared of this little whore?'' he shot a leering glare in my direction, the intense, lustful look in his eyes sending goosebumps up my arms and making my face flush. Instinctively, I took a step back, shielding myself behind Assef's legs.

'Pathetic, Saria. What are you, a fucking baby?' The voice in my head sounded so 'Aarash-like' that at first I honestly did think it was him talking. But no, my own brain was turning against me now. How fucking wonderful. Aarash scoffed, gesturing to me with his free hand.

''Look at her boys, she's so scared she can't even face me without hiding behind her faggot brother.'' At this, Wali gave an involuntary laugh. Fucking prick. How dare he?

He must have seen the look on Assef's face, because his eyes widened in terror and he backed away, tripping over a fallen tree branch and sprawling on his back. Aarash rolled his eyes, a cocky snort escaping his bloodied lips which were still slightly swollen from when my little Adia had beaten him. Thinking about that moment made my heart almost soar with pride and a legion of tiny acrobats began to perform the most death-defying of leaps within my stomach.

''Oh, you think it's funny, do you, Wali?'' The sound of Assef's voice, barely raised above a whisper, was enough to draw my attention forward. It was his 'I'm going to hurt someone and by the looks of it, that someone is you' voice. The kind of tone that makes chills shoot right up the base of your spine.

A lot of people find it more intimidating to be threatened by someone who doesn't shout or roar and never has this been more true with my brother. The calmness in his voice was ten times more frightening than a shout could ever be. And when someone has disrespected me? Well, let's just say that Wali was a lucky boy today. A very lucky boy. Assef squatted down so he was on a level with the petrified little dickwad.

His fingers shot out, wrapping themselves around Wali's neck like tiny vipers ready to pounce. Wali's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates and he began to twist under my brother's vice like hold. His face began to turn a nice blue colour and gasps began to escape his mouth.

''It's not very nice of you to laugh at Saria, now is it?'' Assef, I could see, was boiling. The simmering pot of rage that he had tried so hard to suppress was coming up and the lid was about to blow. Only, he was directing that rage at the wrong people. Now, don't misunderstand me, I hated the fact that Wali had the fucking audacity to laugh at me.

I wanted my brother to make the cunt squirm but I also knew that choking him was not the way to go about it. I tugged on Assef's shirt sleeve. ''Assef, Assef!'' My tone came out more urgent than I had intended it to and Assef immediately turned his head to face me, a look of concern etched on his features.

His grip on Wali's neck slackened just a little, causing the boy to cough uncontrollably. Assef reached with his free hand and cupped the side of my face. ''Yes, what is it, Saria? Are you okay? What's wrong?'' he asked. I gestured to Wali, a sneer distorting my otherwise calm features.

The little cunt bit down hard on his tongue, involuntarily causing it to bleed. Droplets of the red liquid pooled over his lips and got mixed in with the tears that were already streaming down his cheeks. ''Are you okay?'' Assef repeated, almost shaking me in his urgency.

I nodded. ''I'm fine, brother, it's just... I think you should focus your attentions on something other than this little wanker here. That's not why we came, is it?''

As if to emphasise my point, I gestured to Farsef, whose whimpers of pain were now becoming few and far between. That needed to be changed. Assef sighed. ''You know what, kiddo? You're right. You're absolutely right. Mind standing over by our guest? I don't want him to get lonely or feel left out.''

''Oh, of course. Don't want that, do we?'' With a childish laugh of twisted innocent joy, I pranced my way back to Farsef, who shut his eyes in terror, his entire body shaking with either fear of me, or cold. I'll bet it was the former. I hope it was. I folded my arms over my chest and surveyed the pathetic excuse for a boy at my feet. Blood, bruises and dirt were mirred on his face and body.

A steady stream of blood trickled down the backs of his legs, causing the snow around him to darken even more. I paced around him, arms clasped behind my back like a security guard at a shopping mall. Assef's voice drew my attention away from Farsef and over to where he was still throttling Wali.

I temporarily decided to ignore Farsef and skipped back to Assef, kneeling down beside him once more. His hand was still wrapped around the pathetic faggot slave's neck. ''Now listen here, you pathetic piece of dog crap. I want you to go and fetch some sticks. Go and build a fire. A decent size fire. Get to it and quickly. Go!''

He pointed empathically to the right, giving Wali a crack in the face for good measure. ''Yes, yes, I'll go do it now, Assef,'' he placed the back of his hand against the now red skin of his burning cheek. I couldn't help but laugh at him getting slapped about like the bitch he was. Assef, noticing how happy it made me, raised his hand again.

He was about to bring it down when Wali shot to his feet, arm crossed over his face to protect it from any further onslaught. A cry escaped his lips and he immediately began to stumble away from us. ''Please don't hit me. I'll make your fire, okay? I will... Just please!'' he begged, hands up in a defensive manner.

Assef rolled his eyes. ''Don't waste our time,'' were the only words he spoke to him, before turning and focusing his attention on me once more. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Wali staggered off to fetch the branches and twigs we needed for our little plan. Such an obedient little cunt, wasn't he?

Seeing him in such utter distress warmed my black heart. My brother nudged me in the ribs again, drawing my focus forward. He cupped my chin with one hand, the other he used to point at the half-open rucksack that lay but a few yards away from us.

"Would you please fetch me an empty bottle, kiddo? You did remember to bring one, didn't you?"

I raised my eyebrow skeptically. "Remember? Of course I remembered, Assef jan. Just what do you take me for?" I asked, but there was a light, teasing edge to my voice now. I felt there was no longer any point in getting irritated with my brother. What purpose would it serve either of us only to be wasting our valuable time?

Besides, his stubbornness was part of him, nothing I could do about that. It had been something he had passed on to me, after all. I stood up, brushing a lock of stray blonde hair out of my eyes and meandered over to where the rucksack lay. As I bent down to undo the rest of the zip I couldn't help but notice, yet again, the blood dripping from my skirts and onto my legs.

Perhaps it was because I had chosen to wear white tights but the red, sticky blood really stood out more prominently on my legs than any other part of my body. It made my tights cling to my legs awkwardly, causing them to itch like fucking crazy.

Just something else for me to complain about.. No matter now. I had made my bed and was determined to lay in it. My gloved fingers, dripping blood from the cotton fabric, struggled with the zipper of the bag. I felt like tugging my hair out in frustration like those idiotic cartoon characters do.

'Come on, come on!' I thought irately. Assef tapped his foot against the ground, humming some strange, pitchy Farsi song to himself. He rested his elbow on the arm that was folded on his chest, eyes flickering between me to Wali.

Finally I managed to unzip the damn thing. I smiled in pride at a job well done. My brother clicked his tongue at me again, urging me to be hasty. I rolled my eyes playfully in his direction and began fumbling around in the bag for the water bottle that Assef wanted. My hands brushed against something hard. 'Now what the fuck could this be?' I wondered.

Pulling it out, I saw that it was the claw hammer I had procured from my father's study earlier this morning. It seemed to weigh a tonne in my hand. The silver of the weapon gave off quite an interesting sheen in the fading light of the afternoon. This could do some real damage I was certain. I looked to Assef, displaying the hammer for him to inspect. A dubious look crossed his features as he made his way over to me. With me on my knees it seemed he towered over me. Assef leaned down to place a hand on my shoulder.

''You wanna use that on him, don't you?'' He really must have been a mind-reader. I nodded. Assef bit back a laugh and ruffled my hair.

''Kiddo, you don't need to ask my permission to do these things, you know. I want you to have fun just the same as I am.'' With a gesture to the weapon clutched by my tiny fingers, he added, ''Go for the ankles. It'll be funny to watch the little cunt try to crawl away.''

At this, Farsef immediately perked up. Of course, with my brother and I both speaking in German he had little to no idea as to what we were actually saying but I think he could gauge from our facial expressions that we were talking about him. He began to desperately sob his eyes out. Stupid cunt. What did he think that would accomplish? He should know by now that my Assef and I had no intentions of showing any mercy to him. This was just a waste of fucking breath on his part.

"Please, Saria! Please!" Farsef begged, holding his hands up in front of his face which was coated in sticky, red blood. The lacerations on either side of his lips began to burst open once more, sending a fresh torrent of blood spilling into his mouth. His voice quivered as he spoke. "PLEASE I BEG YOU! JUST LET ME BE! PLEASE, SARIAA!"

He began to inch away from us, his body pressing up against the log that Assef had been sitting on before. The sound of his cries was music to my ears, even more soothing than the most beautiful of instruments. Farsef let out a moan as his legs came into contact with the bark. This, on top of the bullet wounds, I knew must have been sheer agony for him.

"Pathetic," I said in German, turning to my brother. He nodded. The hammer seemed to weigh a tonne as I clutched it in my hand. With the slick blood coating my gloved palms, it was a fucking chore for me not to drop it on my foot. I didn't want to end up breaking my toes by accident. I rocked back and forth on my heels.

A fresh snowfall began, coating the top of my head and momentarily distracting me from my thoughts. I clutched the hammer to my chest as a gust of strong wind blew me off balance. Assef shot an arm out, catching me before I hit the ground. I smiled thankfully at him and he helped me to stand straight again. Once again, Farsef began to cry out.

"Please, please don't hurt me any more! Please just stop!" He was truly in a dire position. Blood, tears and sweat were mingled together on his face, his hands and fingers turning more and more blue with each passing second. He turned his head and coughed up a stream of phlegm. 'Oh yuck! Learn some fucking manners,' I thought, wrinkling my nose up in disgust. I could hardly stand to look at him.

"Fucking bastard, did his parents ever teach him manners?" Assef asked of me, remembering to speak in German. Farsef, hearing the cold edge to my brother's voice, lowered his eyes and whimpered quietly. I could tell he was more than ashamed of himself for having broken down in such a disgusting manner.

Still, what could he do? It seemed his body was reacting to the trauma out of sheer impulse. Disgusting, grotesque impulse, sure but impulse nonetheless. The sound of crashing twigs and sticks distracted me for a moment. I turned my head towards the source of the noise.

Wali stood only a few hundred yards away from us, close to the edge of the lake. In his hands were a bundle of sticks and stones, clutched to his chest. There were so many of them that each time he bent down to pick more up some would end up falling on the fucking ground.

'We don't have the time for this bullshit,' I thought, watching the sordid excuse for a young man crawl about the snow gathering up the twigs like a filthy dog. The entire left hand side of his face was covered in a red splotch from Assef's handprint. I knew that must have been quite fucking painful. Still, it was nothing compared to what would happen if he didn't obey us.

Did I even need to mention the last time Wali had betrayed us? The broken glass, how Assef had forced him to perform the ultimate sin in the raping of Kamal. The feel of the red hot irons pressing against his exposed skin as we both branded our names into his chest. Would you dare to fight against two people who were capable of such violence?

Do I even need to ask that question? How stupid would you have to be to fuck with the Ahmed siblings? I knew Wali and Kamal would do anything we asked of them. It was either that or death.

Assef placed a hand upon my shoulder. We both chortled to ourselves as we watched our pathetic dog crawl about on his hands and knees, picking up the fallen twigs. ''Hurry the fuck up, Wali,'' Assef muttered under his breath. The cunt must have read my brother's lips because he immediately picked up the sticks he had gathered and broke into a run.

Wali stumbled over his own feet as he dashed towards us at the speed of lightning. He zigzagged aimlessly along the edge of the pond, which was still somewhat frozen over. Looking at it brought a smile to my lips, thinking of how Assef jan used to push me around the ice on a sled when we were children. How much fun that had been.

Alas, that had all ground to a halt two years ago when our father had caught us playing there together. I will never forget the look of murderous rage on Papa's face as he watched Assef and I playing happily on the ice. He had thundered across the pond towards us, grabbed me into his arms and wrestled me away from Assef. I remembered how he viciously slapped Assef in the face and screamed at him for endangering me.

Even just thinking about it now made my whole body shake in rage. The hatred I felt for Papa that day had been fueling ever since. How dare he interfere in our business. Oh dear, I'm rambling yet again. Thoughts of the past always seemed to fill me with a sense of melancholy it would seem. I was always drifting off into some distance time in the past. Some memory would always claw its way up to the surface of my mind and nestle its way in there.

I shook the thoughts from my mind and refocused my attention solely on what was happening before me. Wali ran towards us, sniffling ever so slightly. As he neared the tree stump where Kamal sat with Mirwais, his knees gave way. He fell flat on his face with a loud thump. The sticks and stones in his arms went flying, scattering all over the ground. ''Oh shit, shit!'' he cursed under his breath. He crawled about trying to pick up what he had dropped. Assef rolled his eyes and turned to face me.

''You know what, kiddo. This is going to take forever. Go and smash Farsef up. Please.'' He looked down at the hammer with a smirk on his face. He stared down at it for what seemed like an endless eternity. His eyes darted to and fro between the hammer to Farsef's trembling body. I knew that he was desperate to see me shatter the child's very bones with this household tool. How funny it was that something so common could be used to cause so much pain and misery.

I knew my brother and I wanted the same thing. To watch our victim squirm. I stole one final glance at Wali, still crawling around like a filthy animal and began to lumber through the snow to where Farsef lay. The moment he saw me approaching he began to cry out in desperation, his hands covering any parts of the body that he thought I might attack. Honestly, did he really think he could do anything to stop me? Farsef could do nothing but sob as I knelt down at his feet and tapped each of his ankles in turn.

"Please, I beg you, leave me be! Please don't hurt me! PLEASE!" Farsef was so loud in his pleas that it made me panic. Could we be heard from here? What if somebody came along? I knew there would be nothing that I could do to save my brother should that be the case. We would both be up the creek with no paddle.

'Stop thinking like this, Saria. You know you're okay. Everything is fine. Now let's get this done. You're wasting time by fretting like this, stupid.' Yes, I really did belittle myself. My thoughts were filled with self-loathing on a common basis.

Worry, anxiety, trepidation and hate... They were all circling round in my brain like a never ending merry-go-round. I tried to keep myself focused on what I needed to do. There was no point in worrying over things I had no control over. No, all I could do was focus on the boy lying in the snow in front of me.

His body open and exposed to be abused and tortured for my pleasure. Farsef's cries intensified as I tapped at his ankles once more. I had to ensure I got this just right. I would settle for no less than the utmost perfection. I moved my hand so that it was resting on his lower legs. The hammer glinted dangerously in the sunlight as I raised it over my head...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter, the torture finally comes to a close. Saria and Assef's cruelty builds to a fever pitch, as the tension grows between Aarash and his brother... What will happen exactly? Please review, PM and subscribe.. Let's keep this project going xD


	34. Devil's Playground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria caused more chaos by forcing Adia to shoot Farsef in the back of the legs.. She was overwhelmed by a sense of guilt upon seeing the pain and misery it caused the little girl she now has come to consider a 'sister.' We continue with the same day as tensions have grown higher...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another big thank you to Christany for her help and dedication to this chapter and series as a whole. Her support and talent is more than appreciated. :D
> 
> As with the previous two chapters, this one is extremely graphic and contains scenes of a sexual nature. Please do not read if this is something that upsets you, or if you have a weak stomach.

All Farsef could do was scream. His voice grew higher as I swung the hammer down with all the force I could muster up in my tiny little body. With an ear splitting crack it found its mark in his exposed ankles. The sound of the bone cracking in two sent a chill right through me. I hadn't been expecting it to be so _loud._ My hand ached from swinging the hammer with such force. I let it fall to the ground with a thump and massaged my stinging fingers.

Farsef's back arched a good three or four inches off the ground. His eyes screwed shut as he let out an ear-piercing scream. An exposed piece of bone poked out from the broken skin. To a normal person this sight would have been grotesque but to me it was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen in my entire life. Farsef reached out to try and hold the injured limb.

''Oh God! _God_!'' His screams began to intensify with each passing second. He curled up into a tiny ball, coughing and retching. What a little shit. I picked up the hammer and tossed it aside. It landed in the snow just a few yards away from me. I began to trace patterns over Farsef's exposed bone with a morbid fascination. His screams changed in pitch with each different amount of pressure I applied. A lone tear creased its way down his face and onto the ground. Did I have even the slightest bit of sympathy for him? Well, do I even need to ask that question?

The sound of my brother's footsteps lumbering through the snow distracted me and I turned my head to face him. The moment Farsef took notice of him approaching he immediately burst into fresh hysterics. His lower lip quivered as his entire body froze up in terror. Assef knelt down in the snow beside me, dusting off the front of his shirt. He ran his fingers through his hair to remove any remaining flakes and slung an arm round my shoulder. I briefly leaned my head against his for a moment while we glared in contempt at the worthless piece of shit lying on the ground in a tight ball.

Assef began poking and prodding at Farsef's bone causing him to once again cry out in pain. He grinned at me. "You've done well, kiddo. Really, _really_ well," he complimented. A blush formed over my cheeks as I laughed quietly to myself. I scratched my nails across Farsef's bone while Assef stood up again. His eyes narrowed in quiet annoyance as he turned towards Wali, still struggling to create that damn fire. Tears streamed down the fag's cheeks while he rubbed the sticks and twigs together. They would spark for a brief moment then go out like a candle in water.

"It's not fucking rocket science, you retard," I gritted through my teeth. Yet again my ever dwindling patience began to get the better of me. We were now approaching the early evening. My stomach rumbled and I came to the realization that I hadn't eaten a damn thing other than _one_ fucking slice of toast this morning. 'Let's just hurry the _fuck up_ so I can get home!' I thought. I punched the ground, screaming in frustration. "Goddamn Wali, hurry up! HURRY THE FUCK UP!"

The shrill sound of my voice caused a flock of birds that had been nesting in the trees aboves us to take to the sky like a hail of bullets, each crowing their vexation louder than the last. Adia jumped, placing a hand over her chest as she hyperventilated.

"Oh God!" she yelped. The poor little thing really did seem quick to startle, didn't she? I gave her an apologetic look.

'You're so damn stupid,' I chastised myself. 'Keep fucking quiet or someone will hear you.' My cruel internal voice barked angrily at me. I knocked on the side of my head three times in self-frustration. Aarash, who had been uncharacteristically quiet since Adia put a bullet in his faggot brother, screamed a torrent of obscenities at me.

"YOU FUCKING CUNT!" Spittle flew from his mouth as he howled at me. His cheeks with flushed with anger. Once again he began to struggle against the hemp rope that was binding him against the tree. Fucking hell, did he _honestly_ think he could get free? Was he _that_ much of an idiot? Don't answer. For the record, the idea of Aarash breaking free of his bindings _did_ cross my mind a number of times. I knew that if he did he would undoubtedly kill me in the most violent and horrific of ways. In fact, I would probably be the one experiencing this torture if Aarash were to get his hands on me.

I gave a look of complete hatred towards Farsef who shrank in on himself, eyes darting this way and that. His gaze fell on the hammer once again and I noticed his lips quivering. Certainly he didn't want to be struck with it again. I could hardly imagine the pain he must be going through. The fearful thoughts rushing through his brain.

Still, the pain he was feeling right now was _nothing_ compared to what I have gone through. What I am still going through. My brother, Adia and I were the victims in this situation. Not these other cunts. They deserved what they got. Especially Aarash.

I left Farsef's side for a brief moment and began to circle the tree Aarash was bound to. His eyes followed my every step, burning with a multitude of different emotions. Hatred, fury, yes even lust.. They were all reflected in those dark grey orbs. My hand connected with the side of his face and he yet again let out a cry of pain and indignation. How humiliating it must be for someone who once held such 'authority' to be reduced to such pitiful existence by a tiny little girl.

"Saria!" my brother called over to me, distracting me out of my thoughts. I whipped round, brushed a few loose strands of hair back off my forehead and turned to face him. I cocked my head as he pointed at the rucksack lying at my feet. 'What does he want with that?' I wondered. Assef rested his elbow on Adia's shoulder, looking down at her with a gentle smile on his face. I tensed, despite myself. What was he doing? Couldn't he just leave her alone? "Sar, could you toss me that empty bottle there."

As I looked around for the bottle he was talking about, he pointed impatiently to the right of me. "It's there, kiddo, on the right. _Your_ right," he emphasised when I stupidly looked to his right and my left.

I nodded, bending down to pick it up. The sound of crackling firewood echoed in my ears, making me jump. I placed a hand on the ground to steady myself, having almost fallen over with the shock of the unexpected noise. My eyes darted every which way as I tried to figure out what had caused such a fucking _loud_ noise. From my peripheral, I noticed some brightly orange flames flickering a mere thirty yards away from me. With a start, I leapt to my feet and staggered backwards. ''Fucking hell, Wali jan, that's a decent size fire you've managed to get going there,'' I complimented him.

His face flushed as he mumbled something that I _assumed_ was a 'thank you.' I smiled in acknowledgement and retrieved the water bottle that Assef had wanted. He raised a hand as if asking me to throw it. Not a hope. If I did so there was a _big_ possibility it could land in the fire and spark an explosion. Okay, maybe that's _laaf_ on my part, but still... Throwing and catching have never been my forte and we didn't have time for messing around.

''Sar?'' Assef called again. He flexed the fingers of his outstretched hand, eyes fixed on the water bottle. As I briskly walked towards him, I couldn't help but feel a strong sense of pride at all we had accomplished so far. The pain and humiliation we had suffered together was about to end. I was sure that after today, nobody would dare to stand in our way. Nobody.

Assef yanked the bottle from my hand with such great force that he almost bent my fingers back. I winced and pressed the injured digits to my lips. ''Got carried away,'' my brother said by way of apology. I nodded in understanding, reaching behind me to fix the loose ribbon on the back of my dress. Assef watched me with detached interest for a second or two. He extended the bottle out to Adia.

I immediately tensed up. I knew just how violent my brother could be when he didn't get his way. If Adia dared to refuse whatever it was he asked of her then there was no telling what he would do. He would not be as lenient towards disrespect as I was. My heart was torn between two halves. I knew my brother loved me to death but at the same time I wanted him to care for Adia in much the same way too. They were the most important people in my life. Oh for us all to get along. My sister looked to me fearfully, her lip quivering as she fixed her gaze on the bottle in Assef's hand. I shot a warning look at my brother, urging him to be careful with how he behaved.

''Adia,'' he said, placing a hand under her chin and tilting it up so she was looking into his eyes. She blinked. His countenance took on a more gentle and benevolent tone. ''Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. I just want a favour. That's all.'' He pushed the bottle into her hands, curling her fingers upwards.

''Please go and fill this up with the water from the lake," he gestured to the pond in question, helping the girl to her feet. Adia nodded frantically. She obviously didn't want to disobey someone who held such power and authority. Who could and _would_ destroy her without a second thought. Assef continued to gently speak to her. ''Now make sure you don't spill anything. Can you do that for us?''

I decided to add my two cents in. ''And please be careful, Adia. I certainly don't want to have to go diving into an icy pond to rescue you should you happen to fall in.''

Assef shot me a look that said 'you will do no such thing.' I almost rolled my eyes. Really, he sometimes acted more like a mother hen with a chick than a brother. Still, I knew that he was only doing it out of love for me. Where would we be without each other? Saria without Assef is like peanut butter without jelly. It's just not possible.

Adia took a sharp intake of breath. She clutched the bottle as tenderly as one would a newborn baby. Two old tear tracks stained her cheeks. My heart clenched as though being squeezed by a vice. Removing the tissue I kept in my dress pocket, I began to tenderly wipe away the dirt from her face. "Please, _please_ be careful," I warned her again. She nodded and began to trudge through the snow, her little shoulders slumped as she walked towards the lake.

"She'll be fine, don't worry about her," Assef whispered into my ear. He rested a hand against my back. It was amazing how he knew instinctively what I was thinking, just by the look on my face. How many other siblings could claim to have a bond like this?

Yet I could not shake the worrisome thoughts rushing through my mind like a raging waterfall. The hypothetical idea that perhaps Adia could fall into the water and drown. I knew full well that she couldn't swim and with the water being as frigidly cold as it was, if she _were_ to fall in then she would undoubtedly drown or freeze to death. A bead of sweat dripped down my face as I watched her lean precariously forward.

She trembled all over as her tiny hands scooped up the water and filled up the bottle. Lying flat on her stomach, she reached out further. A cold shiver ran up the base of my spine. My poor Adi. God, I could hardly imagine how freezing she must be. 'Fuck, what if she gets frostbite? The water's so cold..' My ever racing thoughts began again, each one more frantic than the last. Is this what it felt like to be so protective? I rested my chin on the palm of my hand as I continued to stare in her direction.

From my peripheral, I could just make out Aarash's distorted features as he leered at my 'sister.' His eyes following her every move. I turned my head to look at him and was shocked by the look I saw in his eyes. Behind the venomous glare was a shimmer of... remorse? For a brief moment I entertained the _insane_ notion that Aarash could possibly have, in some sick way, _cared_ for Adia. Could he possibly have felt some level of guilt for the horrific things he put her through?

I shook the thoughts away. This boy.. this _monster_ didn't deserve to even be within five feet of my Adia. She was worth ten million of him. The bastard had treated her like shit and fucking _molested_ her. How dare he have the audacity, the nerve to even look her way? I gritted my teeth so hard I felt a sharp sort of pain shoot up through my jaw. My brother took me by the hand and squatted down so he was on eye-level with me.

"Kiddo." His voice was soft, gentle. "Don't worry so much about her. Okay?" Despite his comforting words I could only stare at Adia, every bone in me itching to run towards her, pull her up and whisk her away from here.

Assef gently took my chin in his hands and cupped my face. "Saria," he said again. He pointed once again to the Swastika adorned rucksack. My eyes followed his. "Why don't you find something else in there to torture Fars with.. You did bring Ipecac with you?" he asked, brightening up at the horrified look that passed over Farsef's face when he mentioned the word Ipecac...

In fact, the sheer amount of horror that Farsef emanated made me wonder if he had a bad encounter with the drug before. Was he forced to use it once? I bit my lip and giggled like the innocent, charming little girl I knew most adults would perceive me to be. All thoughts of Adia were quickly forgotten as I got to my feet, nodding once to Assef who cracked a sadistic smile.

With a newfound sense of power rushing through my veins I skipped over to the bag and knelt down. Farsef watched me with a terrified yet somewhat keen interest as I rooted around for the Ipecac. Let me be clear I had never used this drug on a person before so was uncertain as to how I could go about using it without killing Farsef. I didn't want to make him vomit so much that he would lose vital fluids; he had lost enough with the blood I had taken from him.

''Sis?'' Assef asked beckoning me to him with one finger. I sighed and trudged my way over. Noticing the concerned look still etched upon my features, Assef gave an impatient grunt and half-heartedly embraced me.

I placed my head on his shoulder, the expression on my face darkening as I held Aarash's gaze. The hatred in his eyes I could handle. He seemed to have a permanent scowl on his face. I was used to this and while annoying, it didn't bother me so much..

What got to me was the lustful, hungry look that seemed to be emanating from him. The way he was staring at me.. It sent shivers right from my feet up to my head as though I had been drenched in the icy waters from the lake.

I felt my body tense up in Assef's arms. Sensing this, he pulled back from me and rested his hand against my cheek. I leaned in, soaking up his warmth. "Sister," he whispered in my ear. Of course I do not need to say what language he spoke in. "He's tied up," Assef gestured towards Aarash who was still glowering at us. "Okay? He can't hurt you, I won't let him. He won't dare to try anything.. I swear on my life."

Ah, how my brother managed to soothe the horrid thoughts running through my mind. I smiled gratefully up at him. "Just being stupid I guess. Sorry Assef jan." I lowered my head again, the feelings of shame once again coming over me. Stupid bitch. Stop fucking worrying over nothing.

I felt his arms wrap around me and returned my head to his shoulder. "You're okay, Sar. I won't let anyone hurt you."

I shot another glare towards Aarash and this time was surprised by the look I got. For a brief moment, all the hatred and even the lust.. That vanished. In its place was a look of.. jealousy. A look that encapsulated the hurt and pain he must feel watching Assef so lovingly embrace and care for me while he could do nothing for his brother who lay sobbing only a few mere yards away from him. I felt the corners of my mouth tug upwards into a smirk. He deserved it. He deserved the pain and hurt we were bringing to him. Deserved it and _much_ more..

I gave a contented sigh as I pulled away from my brother. He reached over to press a gentle kiss to the side of my head and jerked his thumb at the rucksack again. ''Concentrate on the more important things, kiddo. You know what I mean..'' he trailed off, standing up and dusting the snow from off his knees. Getting to my feet, I brushed the flakes from my shoulders and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.

''Alright, brother. We're going to have a bit of fun at this cunt's expense,'' I teased. Assef took my hand as we both walked over to the rucksack and I began to rummage around for the Ipecac. The panic I felt was beginning to dwindle yet at the same time still remained lurking inside of me. I knew I wasn't going to get rid of it any time soon. Just a part of the many things wrong with my fucking psyche. Assef put his hand on my shoulder making me jump slightly as he leaned down, putting his mouth close to my ear.

"Having any luck finding it?" he sounded irritated. I knew my brother's patience was beginning to wear thin. He had never been one to wait around too long. 'Give me a break,' I thought, clenching my fist by my sides. I tilted my head back and let out an exasperated sigh. Yet again my brother was pissing me off. 'Stop getting so fucking annoyed at everything, Saria,' I chastised myself. I didn't want to waste my time by fighting with the one person here that I truly loved beyond any other. We had to work together in order for things to pan out.

My fingers gripped the side of a bottle. With a triumphant smile, I pulled it out of the bag and extended it up to my brother, wobbling slightly as I righted myself up. Once again I had to dust the snow from my clothes. Note to self, stop kneeling down so fucking much. Farsef's eyes widened slightly as my brother and I walked towards him. He backed away from us as much as the ropes would allow, clamping his lips tightly shut. Fucking prick. Why was he making it so difficult?

I had to bite my tongue to stop from screaming the never ending torrent of obscenities that were ready to spill from my mouth. Again my fiery temper was starting to get the better of me. I was beginning to lose patience with everyone.

Things needed to be done and they needed to be done _now_ I pulled my foot back and kicked Farsef's head which cracked to the side as he let out a gasp of both pain and shock. "Behave yourself, you little cunt!" I growled, kicking him again, this time in the ribs. He curled up in a little ball, gasping for breath. I let out a giggle as I pressed my foot down on his clearly broken ribs. He must have been in a world of pain. Good.

However, _somebody_ wasn't too happy with the way I was treating his precious 'Fars.' Aarash's voice rose to the point where I began to get scared that someone would hear him. "YOU STUPID WHORE! YOU CUNT! LEAVE HIM ALONE! LEAVE HIM ALONE, YOU NAZI SLUT!" His constant screaming was giving me a headache as well as threatening our safety here.

I watched his gaze travel from Wali to Kamal before finally coming to rest on Adia, who was sitting on the ground with the water bottle clutched tightly to her chest. She lifted her head, trembling as she caught his gaze. Once again I wanted to gather her up in my arms and shield her from it all.

Assef gritted his teeth. ''You just don't know when to quit, do you, Aarash?'' His words came out little more than a viper's hiss. His fingers dug into the palms of his hands so tight they left visible marks. I stood back from him, trembling with anticipation and nervousness. 'Hit him, Assef. Hit the fucker,' I chanted within the recesses of my mind.

Almost as though he could read my thoughts, my brother stormed over to Aarash. With an incredibly furious look showing on his face, he raised his fist and swung. Once, twice, three times. Aarash's head snapped from one side to the other in quick succession. Cries of pain escaped his lips as my brother dealt with his cocky attitude. ''Keep your fucking mouth SHUT!'' Assef growled.

Aarash's head hung against his chest like a limp noodle. His breathing was erratic. Blood trickled from a small cut on his upper lip. He coughed up a trickle of bile that dripped from his chin. I noticed him squeezing his eyes tightly shut, his lip quivering as though he was trying to hold back tears. Good. 'Cry for me you pathetic shit,' I thought vehemently. 'Let me see those tears.'

Aarash raised his head, fixing his hateful gaze on my brother, who just stood there with the most cocky of smiles gracing his lips. He flexed his fingers and moved his fist just inches away from Aarash's face, making him jump slightly. Ha! I began to giggle uncontrollably, wiping the tears of laughter out of my eyes. I couldn't help it. The reactions Aarash was giving to my brother were just hilarious. "You fucking..." he started but was cut off by another sharp slap in the face. His jaw cracked off the trunk of the tree and I notice some bark cut into it. "FUCK!" he yelled, gritting his teeth.

Assef leaned in close so they were almost nose to nose. "If I hear _one_ more _word_ from you, Aarash, I can tell you right now it won't be you I take my frustrations out on." He gave a pointed stare towards Farsef, who began to sob uncontrollably. I pressed my foot down harder on his ribs. He gasped in pain. "Do I make myself clear?"

Aarash nodded. He mouthed something at Farsef that I couldn't quite make out but it sounded like an apology or attempt to soothe him. He tilted his head back as he tried to contain his emotions. Once again, my brother grabbed him by the chin, placing his hand on the trunk above his head.

"One more time I'll ask you. Do you understand me?" When Aarash didn't answer, my brother pointed towards me. He made a gesture that indicated he wanted me to punish Farsef for his brother's transgressions. I nodded once and pressed my foot down on his ribs once again. This time, I added more pressure into my foot, twisting it left to right as the worthless excuse for a young man shrieked and jerked underneath me.

Assef pointed to him and turned back to Aarash. "Do you understand this, Aarash? We won't stand for any more disobedience, so keep your fucking mouth shut. Am. I. CLEAR?" He slapped him across the face once again for good measure.

"Yes... I understand...Assef.." he gritted through his teeth, the words coming out filled with vexation and hatred. Once again, he kicked the tree he was held to. "Crystal fucking clear,'' he spat. Assef shot him a glare but said nothing of the cocky, smart ass remark. To do so would only be a waste of valuable time.

Assef smiled. ''Good boy, Aarash jan. Sit tight and enjoy the show now. We still have SO much planned for you.''

He winked at me. Returning the gesture, I bent down to pick up the bottle of Ipecac that lay at my feet. Farsef's body went completely rigid. He clamped his mouth shut. Assef stalked towards him, arms hanging loosely by his sides. As he neared us, Farsef began babbling incessantly, a stream of apologies and pleas for mercy.

I kicked him again. ''Shut up!'' I ordered. He did so without argument. Smart boy. Assef knelt down beside him, running his fingers through his matted locks of hair, tugging some huge chunks out with his fingers. Farsef's whimpers began to escalate until they were at a fever pitch. His crying was starting to get on my nerves once again. It was _so_ distracting. Why the fuck couldn't he just keep his mouth shut? Did he think it would serve any purpose to keep crying and asking for forgiveness?

There was _no_ way he could gain any forgiveness from either myself or Assef. He was nothing more than a pawn for us to abuse. A discarded chess piece that we were free to do with whatever we pleased, no matter how much it may hurt.

I picked up the bottle of Ipecac and inspected it. It was a clear liquid, almost water-like in its consistency. It sloshed about as I tilted the bottle from one side to the next. This, I knew, would cause severe damage to his internal organs. His pain would only be maximised. I began to unscrew the lid from off the top of the bottle.

This time, Farsef remained silent. I think we drilled that message into his brain enough times. Assef places his hand on the boy's neck, just daring him to try anything stupid or rash. Luckily for him, he had the good sense to remain quiet. It took some fucking effort but I managed to get the Ipecac opened. Out of what I can only describe as morbid curiosity, I dipped my finger into the bottle and pressed it to my lips, allowing my tongue to poke out and lap up the tiny amount of drug. It tasted as bland as water.

Assef gave me a sharp look as though warning me not to drink any more. Really? Did he think I was that stupid? That I didn't know not to swallow the Ipecac? Rather than show this irritation, I simply cocked my eyebrow and gestured for him to hold Farsef still.

Farsef, being the cunt he was, tightly clamped his jaw shut. He turned his head away from us, his body tensing up in fear. I began to get pissed off. After I had so kindly offered to make things as easy as possible for him. How _dare_ he act like this? So childish and rude..

"Look at me!" I snapped, raising my hand as if to strike him. I didn't even have to bring it down. In the few moments between my hand being in the air and coming down, Farsef turned, looking up at me with beseeching eyes. I smiled. "You're a smart boy, Fars. Open wide now."

I dangled the Ipecac right in front of his eyes. When he didn't open his mouth, I began to get annoyed. I do not need to speak in detail about how my patience is the thinnest of threads. Farsef's lip quivered as he tried to keep his mouth shut for as long as possible.

Not that it would work. Assef tightened his grip on Farsef's throat, making the boy cough and splutter uncontrollably. I grabbed his chin and squeezed tight, holding his mouth wide open. Assef moved his hand back as I poured copious amounts of the syrup into Farsef's mouth. With my hand placed under his chin, he could do nothing to spit it out. Tears streamed down his face. "Good boy. Swallow your medicine for me now," I teased sarcastically. I closed his jaw up and looked at him pointedly.

Farsef gulped, a look of disgust coming over him as he swallowed the vile liquid. I quickly stood up and backed away. It would not take long for the drug to take effect. Sure enough, within not even half a second of him taking it, Farsef's entire body trembled all over.

He gagged and retched a few times before he eventually began to empty the contents of his stomach. The putrid stench of vomit filled my nostrils as the brown, yellow and (for some reason) green vomit poured out of his mouth and onto the ground.

He was giving me quite the picture of what he'd last eaten. The vomit kept coming out of his mouth, with no intention of stopping anytime soon. Adia covered her mouth with her hands as she too began to retch and cough. "Don't look at it, sweetie. Just don't look," I told her gently. She nodded, focusing her attention on Mirwais who Kamal had kindly let her play with. She seemed to have quite a liking for tiny creatures like that. I, on the other hand, have always found them slightly.. intimidating. Nothing could ever frighten me the way an Alligator Lizard did but sometimes I felt a little nervous watching Mirwais. Still, he was somewhat.. cute, if you're into that kind of thing.

With the knowledge in my heart that my Adi was okay, I turned my focus back onto the boy who was vomiting up blood on the snow. He shivered from cold, fear and humiliation. Assef laughed and slung an arm round my waist, gently kissing my forehead. We just held onto each other, both chortling with sadistic joy at the pain we had both caused. Farsef's eyes rolled back as he vomited yet again. "That's right, you sick little fuck. Let it out," my brother teased maliciously.

The horrid smell of vomit, blood and bile wafted through my nostrils. I crinkled my nose in disgust as I almost ended up vomiting myself. I didn't need to be a genius to know that my brother felt the same way. This was utterly disgusting, despite how funny it was. ''Oh God! GODDDDD!'' Farsef screamed in a gargled tone. Another stream of vomit came out, this time tinged with green. 'Just what the fuck did he _eat_?' I thought.

''MAKE IT STOP! PLEASEEEE! MAKE IT STOPPPP!'' Farsef's voice reached new heights. Another torrent of vomit spilled out of his mouth. I knew I had used way too much Ipecac. The last time Mama used the syrup it had only taken one teaspoon for her to begin puking her guts out. Still, I was only five years old at the time and Assef ten. Of course my memory of the dosage was going to be hazy. Adia began to cry once more, hugging herself round the waist with little Mirwais resting on her knees.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed Kamal take the scorpion from her and place it back in the cage. He placed a hand over hers and smiled. A normal girl would be pleased that her 'sister' was finding a new friend but I however did not share in these views. I knew Kamal's true colours. How much of a fucking _liar_ he was. I knew that he would chew her up and spit her out without a second thought. I was the only one who truly cared for her. The one who would stand beside her no matter what.

Almost as if she could sense my annoyance, the girl inched back from Kamal, turning her body away from him. She closed her eyes to the torture and pain that was happening before her. Another shriek from Farsef made her flinch visibly like I had slapped her. The poor little thing. Adia coughed so much that I was afraid she herself might start vomiting as well. That I could do without.

Farsef puking his guts out was enough. I began to feel sick myself as I continued to watch him. 'My God just how much of that shit did I give him?' I wondered.. Farsef gagged again, tears of disgust rolling nonstop down his cheeks as he let loose another stream of vomit. This was getting to be too much. If he didn't stop there was a strong possibility he could die from lack of hydration. 'Shit!' I thought, looking at my brother as though he could make the vomit stop spewing out of Farsef's mouth. I covered my nose with my sleeve and turned my head away.

"You're disgusting," I hissed, aiming a kick at Farsef's stomach. Well. That was probably not the cleverest of ideas. Another stream of vomit came out his mouth and his eyes rolled back in his head. He gave a shudder and then went completely still.

"FUCK!" I shrieked, dropping to my knees beside him. I grabbed his wrist to check for the pulse. A bead of sweat ran down my forehead as I looked up at Assef with terrified eyes. Farsef couldn't die. He just _couldn't_. We still had so much to do.

Assef knelt down beside Farsef and slapped him twice right across the face. With a little moan, the boy shot upwards, coughing and spluttering as blood trickled down his chin. He looked up at me and burst into fresh tears. I knew he was scared I would punish him for 'fainting'. I smiled; it was great to have this amount of control over somebody. That he was terrified to even faint. Ah yes, I was in control here and this little brat _knew_ it. "Good. You're awake," my brother said, leering down at the boy.

"P-please don't hurt me, please, PLEASEEEE!" Farsef begged, reaching out to clasp my tiny hand in his. For a long moment we just stared at each other, before the little cunt turned and vomited yet again. I shook my head in disgust and crinkled my nose up, swallowing the bile that was starting to build within my throat. I glanced around me, searching for Adia. The poor little one was slumped against the trunk of a tree, her knees drawn right up to her chest with her head resting on her arms.

Assef leaned over to whisper in my ear. "Go and comfort her, kiddo. You both need it and I need to talk to Kamal." His eyes were fixed on Mirwais. I clasped my hands together in glee and bounded over to my 'sister.' Once again my arms wound themselves around her trembling shoulders, pulling her head towards me as I stroked her hair. I took each of her hands in mine and squeezed the little fingers gently. She relaxed into my grip without hesitation, letting out a contented sigh as she closed her eyes. Her breathing was still erratic.

"It's okay, it's okay," I cooed. "Nearly done now, you can go home soon. I promise," I confided in her. She shook in my arms.

"Why?" she asked, tears saturating the front of my dress as her tiny hands clung to me. My heart seemed to shatter into a million tiny pieces. I gently rubbed circles into her back as I felt her trembling in my arms. I could feel her shivering uncontrollably, whether from fear of me or just cold I would never know.

My tone became even more gentle and remorseful as I comforted her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought you here. I know that now." Every orifice in my body was screaming at me _not_ to admit this. I had to keep in control of her and if she knew the power she had over me, what hope would there be?

Adia coughed. "I-I'm scared, Saria. Why do you have to hurt him like this? Why?"

I clenched my jaw, shutting my eyes and tilting my head back in an effort to try and calm down. I knew Adia wasn't trying to piss me off. It was just in her caring nature to be concerned for a boy going through so much pain. "You know why, Adia," I responded in as kind a tone as I could muster. I gently rocked her back and forth. "And you know I don't mean to frighten you."

She nodded, though I could tell she wasn't convinced. Well, could I blame her for still being afraid of me? I was, after all, the same girl who had burned with cigarettes and beaten her on numerous occasions just for the fuck of it. She had every right to be so terrified of me. I gently rubbed her back and kissed her forehead.

"It's okay, honey. It's okay. This is not your fault, do you understand me? Not your fault at all." She closed her eyes and returned her head to my shoulder, her breathing slowing as she began to calm down. I took the time to look at what my brother was doing. From the corner of my eye I could just make out the image of him leaning over Kamal, his hands balled into fists as he snapped at the trembling boy. My curiosity began to get the better of me. I had to know what was going on.

"Are you alright?" I asked my 'sister.' Her head nodded like it was on a spring. I gently guided her into a sitting position and wiped the tears off her face. "I'm going back to Assef now, okay? You just take it easy. You don't have to look any more if it upsets you. I promise." With a little nod, she got to her feet and trudged towards a fallen tree stump, perching against it as she gave me a little smile, as if to reassure me everything was okay.

With this thought in my head, I skipped over to my brother who reached his hand out to take hold of mine. I gently rested my head against his waist. Who wouldn't love this sweet relationship between us? Assef ruffled my hair for a moment and refocused his attention on Kamal. "Mirwais looks a little bored there, doesn't he? Why don't we try and entertain him?" he smirked cruelly.

Kamal's eyes grew wide as saucers. He hugged the scorpion cage to himself, shaking his head frantically. "I.. I.." He kept giving pointed looks between Mirwais to Farsef, fully aware of what we were planning to do with his pet. He clutched Mirwais tighter to himself as he began to shrink away from my Assef who grabbed him by the chin and forced it upwards. "No please, l-leave Mirwais alone. Please!" he begged.

Assef scoffed, poking the scorpion's cage. "But Kamal jan, there would be no point in us bringing Mirwais here if we didn't let him out to play, now would there?" With that, he reached out to grab the cage from Kamal who, being a fucking _retard_ , clenched his fingers around it and pulled back as if this was nothing more than a childish game of tug-of-war. Fucking idiot, did he really think he could fight us? That we were going to listen to his foolish pleas?

"Kamal," Assef growled. "I'm not going to ask you again. Either you hand Mirwais over to us now and we'll say no more about this or you can keep being difficult and..." his eyes travelled to a large, snow-covered rock lying at my feet. I didn't even have to be psychic to know what he was asking of me. I bent down to pick up the rock, dusting the snow off of it. My hand ached under the weight of it. I held it out in Kamal's direction.

''Poor little Mirwais. It would be so sad if something were to happen to him. Don't you agree?'' I teased, the ghost of a smirk forming on my lips. Kamal instinctively clutched Mirwais' cage tighter, shaking all over as his lip began to quiver. Mirwais himself just looked at me, completely oblivious to what was going on. Stupid animal.

''So, what do you say, Kamal? You going to hand Mirwais over? Or would you like Saria to deal with him instead?'' Assef asked. I bounced the rock up and down in my hand, grinning at the pathetic slave cowering in front of me. Kamal looked down at Mirwais apologetically, hesitating for only a moment, before he passed the cage to my brother.

Assef smiled, reaching over to cup the side of his face with one hand, while the other swung Mirwais cage about like a rag doll. I cocked my head slightly, my lips parting. What the fuck was he doing? We didn't have the fucking time to mess around with this shit. I clenched one hand at my side. The other I used to snatch Mirwais from my brother, who gave me a sharp, annoyed glare.

"What are you doing?" I asked. "We have shit to do, remember?"

Assef leaned over to speak into my ear. "Emperor scorpions are docile by nature, kiddo. We have to fire the fucker up before we can play with him," he explained. Kamal looked at us in confusion. He squinted as he tried to read our lips. Not that he could understand anyway, seeing as we were speaking in German, as usual.

I looked down at Mirwais, a soft smile gracing my lips. The little creature kept looking in the direction of Kamal, as if hoping his owner would come to the rescue. Kamal lowered his eyes and began fiddling with a loose thread on his shirt. I knew how much he must have wanted to protect this animal from us.

'Too late for that,' I thought as I gave the cage another sharp jolt to the left. There was a dull thud as Mirwais stumbled and fell against the side of the cage.

"Careful, kiddo. Not too hard,'' Assef warned in German. "You don't want to hurt him. Just piss him off.''

"Yes, Assef," I was about to shake the cage again when I heard a soft whimper coming from behind me. Turning my head I saw Adia standing a few feet away, eyes wide and tearful. In her hand was the bottle Assef had given her. Her eyes kept staring at Mirwais' cage, hands trembling so much that the bottle almost fell to the ground. The heartbroken look on her face made my stomach turn.

Clearly everything had been too much for her. This was all starting to build up within her. I knew her fragile psyche would not be able to handle the cruel torture of Mirwais. She had been through enough.

I made a snap decision. To this day I look back on it as one of the best that I have ever made. My sisterly instincts reached overdrive as I watched the tear tracks staining Adia's cheeks. The pain written on her face truly made me sick. 'She can't stay here,' I thought. I had already put her through so much, allowed her to be part of so much horror. I couldn't let her see me torment Mirwais.

I could tell by the way she looked at the scorpion that she cared deeply for it. The memory of the night she brought that... lizard into my room remained etched in my brain. How utterly... delighted she was to hold the tiny creature. How her eyes seemed to light up. The excitement she had displayed, right before I'd had that meltdown, was something that, despite how terrified I was that night, I would always remember fondly.

Besides, I knew things were only about to take an inevitable turn for the worse. Adia had never seen someone die and, while I was as of yet unsure how it would happen, I knew Farsef wasn't long for this world. Despite everything I had put her through this was something I didn't want her to see. God only knows how much damage it would cause.

I gently placed Mirwais cage down on the snow, motioning for my brother to stand guard over it. Didn't want Kamal getting any ideas of trying to snatch him back now, did we? I slowly made my way to Adia, whose knees had given way, causing her to slump onto the ground. Her pitiful cries grew even louder as I knelt down beside her. She shrank away from me the instant I reached out to her.

'Fucking bi-' I thought but stopped myself before I could finish insulting her. It was my fault she was like this. All the fear and pain she was feeling, it was all down to me. Pathetic excuse for a friend and sister that I am. I sidled closer to her, reached out and drew her to me for the final time that day. Once again Adia relaxed into my grip as I rubbed circles into her back. ''You've been so good today, Adia jan. I can't even put into words how utterly proud I am of you for being such a good helper and friend to me today.''

She nodded, giving a tiny smile. Returning the gesture, I took the handkerchief from my pocket and began to clean her face.

I wiped the tears, dirt and blood from her cheeks and smoothed down her tangled hair. The undersides of her nails were a little bloody from where she had punched Aarash, as were her knuckles, so I gently cleaned those off too. I knew there could be no trace of evidence left on her. I placed the bottle to one side and guided my sister to her feet.

''Would you like to go home?'' I asked, ignoring the sharp looks Assef kept giving me. ''You've already done so much for me and you don't need to see any more.'' I gripped her hands in each of mine.

''I... I... Saria.. really?'' she asked, stumbling over the words as she tried to get them out. My kind gesture must have come as a shock to her, especially with all she had borne witness to today.

''Yes, Adia, really. You can go home. That's what you want, isn't it?'' I smiled at her, giggling softly at how enthusiastically she nodded. It was quite an endearing thing to watch.

''Oh thank you, Saria, thank you so much!'' She reached forward, taking me by surprise and hugging me round the waist. I leaned over to hug her back, giving the child a little squeeze. Adia pulled back from me, the ghost of a smile on her face. "Thank you," she repeated again.

I nodded. "It's fine, Adia. Just one thing though..'' I reached out to grip both her arms. She gulped as I leaned in towards her, our noses almost touching. My voice dripped with authority as I spoke the next few words. "You're not going to tell anyone about this, are you? Because I swear, Adia if I hear you've breathed a word of this to one person, just _one_ , well, you don't want to _know_ what I'll do to you. Do I make myself clear?" Yes I was being harsh but isn't that the best way to get through to people? Adia would be in a shitload of trouble too if she were to reveal anything.

Adia shook her head. "Not one word. I won't tell anyone." She stumbled over her words, looking to me for approval.

I nodded. "Fine. That's what I wanted to hear. You're such a good girl, Adia. Run along home now, okay?" I took a long, hard look at her face. Her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks swollen slightly from crying. I reached out to cup the side of her face. "I'm sorry for hurting you," I whispered, more to myself than her. Before my emotions could get the better of me, I pressed a final kiss to the side of her forehead, clapped her on the shoulder and nodded once. "Take care."

Adia nodded tersely then turned on her heels and fled into the woods. Assef and I wordlessly watched as her stumbling silhouette grew further and further away, eventually disappearing altogether. I winced as I heard a distant muffled scream coming from her direction.

'She is going to be seriously fucked up after today,' I thought glumly. 'What type of sister am I?'

Another distant shrill scream echoed through the trees and I felt my eyes tear up. She shouldn't have been anywhere near this shit. A tear rolled down my face. All her pain, all the agony I knew she was feeling, was my fault.

I jumped as Assef laid a hand on my shoulder. "She'll be fine.''

I raised an eyebrow. "Really Assef?" Did he not have ears?

His smile faltered and we stared long and hard into each others eyes. "Okay. Maybe not. But we can deal with that later. Right now..." he rattled the cage impatiently. I think we were both ready to get on with the rest of the day.

"Yeah. You're right,'' I sighed as I picked up the cage, cocking my wrist, about to continue my relentless shaking when Assef grabbed me and leaned in close.

"I can see how much she means to you. You called her sister. From now on I'll go a bit easier on her. We'll sort this out together. Okay? So don't cry."

He wiped away tears that I didn't even notice flowing then straightened up and smiled cruelly. ''Time to play.''

I shook any final thoughts of Adia from my psyche and began to refocus myself on the tasks at hand. Kamal's eyes were fixed on Mirwais, tears streaming down his face, a mixture of self-loathing, guilt and anger shown in his eyes. The corners of my mouth turned upwards in a cruel smirk as I held the cage out for him to see. ''Mirwais looks bored, Kamal. What's say we liven him up a little bit?'' I teased.

Kamal opened and closed his mouth. I saw him begin to form what I knew was a curse word, but then he stopped, buried his face in his hands and let out a deep sob. What a piece of shit. I looked back and forth between his trembling form and the tiny creature in my hands. Both so easily exploitable for my own goals.

''Kiddo,'' Assef said impatiently, jerking his head towards the cage cocked in my hand. This shit needed to be done. I nodded tersely.

''Yes, brother. I know. I'll do it now.'' My wrist moved up and down with vigour as I began to shake the cage. Mirwais fell against one side, then the other. With Adia now gone I could fully rejoice in the pain I caused without having to feel any remorse or guilt for my actions.

A childish giggle passed through my lips, making me sound a lot younger than my twelve years. I began to swing the cage back and forth in my hand, almost breaking into hysterics each time poor, pathetic Mirwais would bounce off the hard steel bars. Kamal jumped every time I shook the cage, his tear filled eyes never leaving the scorpion. Mirwais jostled against the cage as my wrist flicked this way and that.

"Remember, kiddo," Assef leaned over to speak in my ear, "Pissed off, not hurt. He still needs to pack a punch. Or sting." We both chuckled to ourselves at the macabre thought. I peered through the bars of the cage at Mirwais who was scuttling around the floor, his tiny legs clicking noisily. I sneered at the creature as I began to shake the cage again. Mirwais jostled from one side to the other, looking around him in confusion.

Kamal winced empathically each time I jostled Mirwais around. I couldn't help but laugh at the expression on the boy's face. He looked so hurt, so miserable. Knowing that I was the cause of his misery, that I now had control over his little scorpion, it brought a smile to my face. "Mirwais..." Kamal mumbled sorrowfully, blinking back tears that were threatening to spill over from his eyes. "Mir.."

"Mir? Is that what he calls you?" I teased the creature, sarcasm dripping like poisoned lead off my tongue. I kept one hand on the cage which swung back and forth like a pendulum. The other hand hung loosely by my side, fingers brushing against the dripping material of my skirt, which was now saturated in blood, tears and sweat. Mirwais scuttled to the back of the cage perhaps thinking that by doing so I would stop shaking him about. That I would leave him alone. Yeah, like that was going to happen.

I began to shake the cage with even more vigour, chortling to myself as Mirwais jostled from left to right. "Fucking piece of shit!" I spat. My wrist was beginning to ache. 'Stupid fucking thing, how long does it take to get him riled up?' I thought irately. Assef, clearly sensing my irritation, reached over to take the cage from me.

"Here, let me deal with him for a moment," he said into my ear. I beamed my thanks and began to massage my aching wrists, visibly grimacing at how fucking stiff they were. Who knew pissing a scorpion off could be so painful, both for myself _and_ the little creature? Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Assef bending down to pick up a small stick lying a few feet away from us. I cocked my head slightly to the right, a look of confusion passing over my features.

What exactly was he planning? Farsef's whimpers began to grow louder as his eyes came to rest on Mirwais' cage. His high pitched shrieks and cries momentarily distracted my attention. I turned my head in his direction, resting my chin on the palm of my hand as I watched the trembling and shaking boy with an avid interest.

Farsef's eyes kept darting between the look of simmering rage on his brother's face, to the tiny scorpion in the cage Assef held. Tears coated his face. His entire body shook like a leaf as he stared straight at Mirwais. His lower lip quivered as he curled up into a tight ball as if hoping that by doing so he could make himself invisible. Tears dripped from his eyes and onto the ground, mingling with the blood and snow around him. "G-God.." he whispered, his eyes never leaving the scorpion's cage.

I became totally distracted from what my brother was currently doing. Farsef's behaviour had now gotten my whole and undivided attention. Just what the fuck was his problem? I watched him tremble and sob like the pathetic baby he was. "Oh God.. oh God..." he kept repeating over and over.

The corners of my mouth curled upwards and my eyes grew wide as the realisation of _why_ Farsef was behaving this way hit me like a freight train. He was _scared_ of Mirwais. And not just scared, that's a fucking understatement.. No, he was _petrified_ of the creature. His reactions reminded me so much of how I had behaved when Kamal and Wali teased me with that Alligator Lizard. Clearly Farsef's phobia of scorpions was just as great as my phobia of those lizards..

I let out a childish giggle, clapping my hands together in a twisted, innocent show of joy, turning and dashing back to Assef. "Assef, Assef!" I tugged on the sleeve of his shirt, rocking back and forth on my heels.

Assef cocked his eyebrow, setting Mirwais cage down on the ground. Not very gently, might I add. He pursed his lips as he shot an arm out in front of me, placing a hand upon my chest to calm me down. "What is it, Sar?" he asked, rolling his eyes.

"Look at Farsef, look how scared he is!" I could barely get the words out between my bouts of laughter. Perhaps I was behaving childishly but this was honestly one of the funniest things I'd ever experienced. It brought a sense of the utmost elation to my darkened psyche to know how much pain and fear Mirwais could bring to Farsef. Not just physical pain, though I knew his stings would undoubtedly be agony, but psychological pain too.

Assef rested a hand upon my shoulder as he turned towards Farsef. We both stared at the boy for what seemed like an eternity. My brother chuckled silently to himself, watching Farsef sob and tremble, curled up in a tiny ball, his hands clenching and unclenching repeatedly. "Well what do you know, sis, looks like he _is_ afraid of scorpions," he spoke this in Pashtu, rather than German so that Aarash, Wali and Kamal could understand.

The heartbroken look on Kamal's face was utterly priceless. A true 'Kodak moment' as they say. Oh, if only I had a camera. He bowed his head in shame, a lone tear creasing its way down his cheek. "So sorry.." he mumbled, not even having the courage to look neither Farsef nor Aarash in the eye. How guilty he must have felt for bringing Mirwais here. Yet what other choice was there for him? Do or die. Literally. ''Farsef, I-I'm so sorry,'' he muttered guilty, looking down at his feet.

''As well you should be, you pathetic fag!'' Aarash snarled at Kamal. He glared daggers at both him _and_ Mirwais, his eyes narrowed. He gritted his teeth like a wounded animal.

''Oh, give it a fucking rest, will you?'' my Assef snapped, rolling his eyes in irritation. He kicked at Mirwais cage in utter frustration, causing it to topple over onto its side. Mirwais fell back, his body hitting off the cold, steel bars. Aarash narrowed his eyes, baring his teeth at my Assef like a wild, crazy animal. He looked like someone ready for a fight. Over and over again he pounded his fists against the tree, twisting and wriggling against the ropes like a fish caught on a hook.

His eyes stayed locked on his brother's as he twisted and struggled. Tears pooled in the corners of Farsef's eyes as he stared straight past the tree Aarash was chained to. A soft sob escaped his bloodied lips, his brow quivering as he tried to focus his gaze on anything but the concerned and hurt look on Aarash's face. I knew their relationship had been eroded away into dust. A tiny pang of guilt made my heart clench up. I could empathise with both of them, after all, my brother is the one person I love more than any other in this world and I couldn't fathom the idea of someone having the power to shatter our relationship like shards of a fragile mirror.

I shook the heartbreaking thoughts from my head and refocused myself on the creature scuttling in the cage at my feet. With a cruel, sadistic smile painted on my face, I kicked at the cage again, causing it to fall sideways into the ground. I giggled. Assef bent down, wiping snow from a large, thin stick and picking it up.

"Hold him still," he ordered me, jerking his head towards Mirwais. I nodded, grinning and hoisted the cage up onto my lap. I kept one hand tightly clenched around the handle, while the other kept the bottom of the cage steady, ensuring it would not topple. "Thanks, kiddo," Assef complimented with a grin.

I nodded, smoothing down the wrinkled folds of my dress so that the cage stayed in place. Assef twirled the little stick around in between his fingers, pacing back and forth around us in order to find the best position in which to start fucking around with the scorpion in my arms. He bent down, resting one hand upon my shoulder to steady himself. The other hand he used to poke the stick through the thin bars of the cage.

Mirwais jerked backwards as the stick came into contact with his tiny body. Oh what a sight! My knees bounced as I began to dissolve into hysterics. Having so much control over such a little, powerless creature really brought me a sense of the utmost joy. Assef's grip on my shoulder was now so tight it had become slightly painful.

''I know you're excited but please,'' he chided gently. ''We don't want him to fall out of the cage and run away.''

I nodded, biting my lip, the picture of a chastised little sister. I breathed out deeply as I came back to my senses.

Assef let out a hearty chuckle that resonated deep within his belly. He seemed to sway from left to right like a drunkard. With a long inhale of breath, he jabbed the twig at Mirwais again.

Both of us laughed at the sight of Kamal's beloved pet jerking back, scuttling on tiny legs, doing whatever it took to stop our violent onslaught. Like there was any hope of that. Don't they always say a sociopath hurts animals as well as people? Well I fit the bill in both regards, though I must admit hurting people gives a lot more satisfaction than hurting animals. After all, an animal cannot speak to beg mercy, can it? But I digress.

I reached up and tugged incessantly on the sleeve of my brother's shirt. "Can I try?" I implored him, unable to hide the smile gracing my lips. Assef gently rested his hand against the back of my head, stroking my blonde hair. For a long moment, we both just smirked at each other, forgetting about anybody else around us. Oh how the prospect of causing hurt to the smallest of creatures brought smiles to each of our faces.

"You want to try?" he asked, holding the stick out to me. I nodded, like my head was on a coil, took the stick from his hands and inspected it. I tapped it against my palm once, twice, three times.. My gaze darted from the creature in my lap to the petrified, trembling boy lying only a few feet away. I clicked my tongue as I jabbed the twig at Mirwais, causing him to jerk back in fear and annoyance. Kamal's incessant cries reached fever pitch. His knuckles were a pasty white, his brow covered in sweat while tears coursed their way down his cheeks. I knew he must have been so ashamed but did I care?

Every part of Kamal surely itched to take Mirwais and run. To ensure that neither the scorpion nor Farsef could be hurt. From my peripheral, I noticed him close his eyes, chest heaving up and down as he sobbed uncontrollably. The shame and guilt he must have been feeling truly seemed to emanate deep within his core. 'Stupid cunt. You know who you belong to,' I thought within the dark recesses of my mind.

I chortled to myself as I poked and prodded at the tiny creature at my mercy. Mirwais's tiny little legs clicked on the steel floor as I jabbed the stick at him. He fell backwards, his tiny legs waving in the air as his pincers clicked noisily. "Pathetic piece of shit!" I teased mockingly, jabbing at him again. He continued to lie on his back. "Aww, what's wrong, can't you get up?" I poked him again, harder this time.

"Kiddo," Assef warned, shooting me a glare. I cocked my eyebrow, narrowing my eyes in disdain. Did he really feel the need to correct me? Could I not just have my fun? I leaned my head against my palm and sighed deeply.

"I know, Assef. I know. I'm not hurting him.' I gritted my teeth, the words coming out little more than a hiss. Assef placed a hand on my back, in between my shoulder blades, the other gently tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear. He jabbed his finger at the stick in my palm.

"Come on, let's keep going. Get the fucker to stand up again!" I nodded and resumed poking the tiny creature. He continued to lay on his back with his pincers clicking repeatedly. From the corner of my eye I could just make out the trembling form of the boy tied up a few yards away from us. His little cries and whimpers grew louder and louder each time he looked over at Mirwais.

Tears fell liberally from his eyes. He tried to bring his hand up to cover his eyes but of course, with the ropes binding him, was unable to do so. Now more than ever I was glad to have made the decision to slice his eyelids off. It wouldn't be half as fun if he couldn't see what was going on.

Assef nudged me in the ribs, directing my focus back. I think we both wanted to just get today over and done with as soon as possible. After all, it was getting late. Nodding, I continued to poke at Mirwais, rolling him over onto his front again. He looked flustered, much like his worthless excuse for an 'owner.' "Come on, you little fucking cunt! You must be getting pissed off right now. I know I am!" I spat viciously, jostling the cage repeatedly. Mirwais rocked from side to side.

"Come on! Come on!" I urged, angrily slamming the cage against the hard, snow-covered ground. My hair flew in all directions about my face as I shook and jostled the cage repeatedly. Still despite it all Mirwais was _not_ having the reactions I expected or wanted from him. ''YOU STUPID FUCKER!'' I screamed in frustration, pounding my fists against the top of the cage. Mirwais jostled about, cracking off the side of the cage as I hit at and shook it.

Sensing my irritation, Assef reached out to take the cage from me. "Let me try, kiddo. I have an idea that'll really fuck him up."

Grinning, he extended a hand to help me to my feet. The horrible 'pins and needles' feeling shot up through my legs as my knees buckled under me. Assef hooked his arm under the crook of my elbow to keep me from toppling over. Clearly I had been kneeling down too fucking long. "You okay?" Assef asked. I nodded. "Good then. Now come with me."

He took me by the hand and led me over to the large, crackling fire Wali was building. "Move!" he ordered, pushing Wali aside with one hand and using the other to poke at the sticks around the fire. Wali fell backwards, his lip quivering as he scuttled away from us, his wide, fearful eyes clearly showing the terror he felt for both Assef and I. I bit my lip, trying to hide the giggles that were about to burst through my lips.

Did I even need to tell you how much pleasure and _joy_ it gave me to see the fear emanating from his very core? The superiority I felt watching him crawl away like a common beast. After all, this is the same boy who so cruelly helped Aarash in tormenting me. Yet Wali's cocky, brash attitude had certainly been stamped out of him, that was for sure. My lips flecked as I growled at him, a warning to stay the fuck out of the way from now on. Whimpering, he struggled to his feet. His body seemed to sway on its own volition as he made his way back to Kamal.

Our dogs took their places on the tree stump, both looking towards the fire which Assef was currently poking. Mirwais cage lay seemingly forgotten a few yards away. 'What the fuck are you doing, Assef?' I thought, cocking my head slightly to the right. I didn't bother asking him as I knew it would just waste time to do so. Assef turned to face me still down on his knees attending to the fire.

"Can you hand Mirwais over here?" he asked. With my confusion still shown on my face, I sloped over to the tiny cage lying a few feet away, bent down and picked it up. I gave it a shake for good measure, laughing as Mirwais fell with a thud against the bars. "Saria!" Assef clicked his fingers impatiently and gestured towards the fire. Rolling my eyes with irritation, I skipped back over to my brother, extending out a hand to help him up.

"Thanks, Sar," he said, taking the cage from me. I took my place next to him as he dangled the cage over the fire. Mirwais scuttled around as quick as his little legs could take him, trying to find some way to protect himself from the scorching flames.

Flames shot high up in the sky, wood crackled loudly as my brother jostled Mirwais cage about, holding him still for short periods of time. I felt my body start to sweat in its cotton disaster of a dress. I scratched my neck, shifting from one foot to another. If this was how I felt being only six _fucking_ feet away then I couldn't imagine the irritation and pain Mirwais was feeling. Just thinking about it made me laugh. Assef began to jostle the scorpion around a bit more. His face contorted in rage. "Come on, you pathetic shit!"

He repeatedly slammed his closed fist into the top of the cage, gritting his teeth so the words came out little more than a hiss. I placed my hand on his arm, tugging his shirt sleeve.

"Assef.. Remember, don't hurt him.." I warned. My brother looked at me, raising his eyebrow skeptically and gently placed the cage down on the snow.

"The fucker isn't getting pissed off," he slammed his closed fist against his thigh in frustration. His eyes narrowed in disdain as he shot filthy glares at Mirwais. The scorpion continued to scuttle around like an _idiot_. My chest heaved up and down as I breathed through my teeth. Piece of shit, wasting my valuable time. _Our_ valuable time.

With a low growl escaping my lips, I picked up the cage and flung it onto the ground again. It rolled away from us, bouncing a few times as Mirwais ricocheted off the bars. Finally, after everything we had done to him, he began to get pissed off. His pincers clicked noisily together. My lips curled upwards into a delighted, yet cruel smile. I clapped my hands together, rocking back and forth on my heels.

"Finally," Assef said, bending down to pick the cage up. "At long fucking last," he added, cocking his head and staring in at the tiny, furious scorpion. At long last was an understatement. My heart began to beat like steel drums in my chest, my stomach felt as though the circus was performing its grandest show there. My lips parted as I began to breathe out heavily, shaking all over with excitement.

''Do you think he's pissed enough now?'' I asked, hoping the answer would be yes.

''Yeah, I mean just look at him.'' Assef gestured to the creature in his hands. Grinning, he cocked his head and poked at the cage. Even just looking at Mirwais I could see how pissed off he was.

"What's say we put his little stings to the test? How does that sound, Fars?" As I said the words, I could feel my lips lift into a cruel smirk. "Let's play."

I took a long, hard look at the scorpion in front of me. Mirwais stood on all of his legs, his large pincers raised in a defence position. It suddenly struck me just how _large_ this creature was. At seven inches, he was at least the size of a small ruler and, looking at him now, his defence stance only served to make him look more intimidating.

Mirwais stinger was raised high in the air. How angry, how _frustrated_ he must be, stuck in that tiny cage. He looked as irritated as I had previously felt. It was as if my past frustrations had all boiled over onto this creature.

I knew the cage must be heavy in my brother's hands. Not only that, the possibility that Mirwais would sting him through the bars was a real concern for me. ''Here, Assef. Let me take it.'' I stretched my hand out, palm upward, willing to take the deadly creature off his hands.

Assef shook his head, just as I suspected he would. ''No, Saria. It's fine. _I'm_ fine.'' He knew I was just trying to protect him. He smiled. ''Now, why don't we let Mirwais out? How does that sound?''

A loud, ear piercing cry shattered the moment. I could tell _exactly_ who it was. Farsef. His body shook all over with each terrified sob. His lidless eyes never left mine. Not for one second. ''P-Please Saria! Please don't let that... that thing near me. ''I-I'll.. Please!'' He could hardly speak for sobbing.

'Stupid cunt. Does he _really_ think his begging will make me show any mercy to him?' The cruel, decrepit thoughts swirled around non stop in my mind. A low growl escaped my lips through my gnashed teeth.

''Saria!'' Farsef was shocked. My animal-like behaviours were even more frightening than Mirwais. Yes, I was the one to be afraid of here.

I breathed out deeply. ''Keep your mouth shut, Farsef. I can't even _fucking_ think straight with all your begging and pleading. Shut. It,'' I ordered.

He fell silent in a millisecond. Blood dribbled down his chin as he bit down hard on his bottom lip. He turned away from us, lithe form trembling with silent sobs. ''No..'' he muttered, distraught.

My patience was already wearing thin. ''How much are those stings going to hurt?'' I asked in German.

''They're like bee stings. They won't do much damage but they'll still hurt like hell.''

I laughed. "How the heck do you know this?"

"I've done my research, sis," said Assef, grinning. "He doesn't have _that_ much venom in his stings."

''So they're not poisonous?'' The disappointment was surely evident in my voice.

''Unfortunately no. Still, I think the psychological damage we can do will be far greater, don't you?''

I beamed, the soft whimpers coming from the boy sounding like the most exquisite of musical instruments. Pain was pleasure, when it was being applied to those weaker than me. "Well, what are we waiting for, Assef?" I placed my hand on his arm, eyes darting back and forth between the stoic look on his face and the furious, dangerous scorpion in the cage.

Aarash, who had been uncharacteristically quiet up until now, let loose a stream of expletives. If looks could kill I would be six feet under by now. ''Keep that fucking _monster_ away from my brother, you slut! You hear? Keep. it. _away.''_

''And where would the fun be in that?'' I quipped back lightly, hiding the irritance I felt. We both looked at each other for what seemed like an eon. Aarash's eyes bore into mine, willing me to look away. I stayed steadfast, my lips pursed in a thin line. If this fag thought I would back down, he had another think coming.

''Sar,'' said Assef, jiggling Mirwais cage once more for good measure. With a heavy sigh, I turned away from Aarash, who gave a cocky snort, apparently thinking he had won that battle. I smirked to myself, confident in the knowledge that if anyone was winning today it wasn't going to be him.

My feet felt icy cold as I trudged back to Assef. Not surprising though, considering how wet my shoes were. There was a strong possibility I would have to permanently dispose of the outfit I wore today. 'Oh well,' I thought. 'It's not like my parents don't buy me enough hideous clothes.'

I reached my brothers side. He took my little hand in his and lead me over to Farsef. The very moment he caught sight of us approaching the little _faggot_ started to plead and beg again. ''Please, I'm sorry, I'm _so_ sorry. Please, don't let that.. thing near me. Haven't you done enough? Please, I'm begging you, take it away!'' he babbled like the pathetic excuse for a boy he is.

''Haven't we done enough, Farsef?'' Assef scoffed. He seized the boy's chin and leaned in so their faces almost touched. I could sense the anger radiating off of him. ''Haven't we. done. _enough?_ Do you think your brother thought that when he was beating my Saria? Do you think he showed her _any_ compassion?''

Farsef, unable to answer because of how tightly my brother held his chin, shook his head frantically.

''That's right. He didn't and no mercy will be shown to you either. So beg to your hearts content because at the end of the day you'll just be wasting your breath.'' The boiling fury seemed to emanate deep within Assef's core. It was like a ticking time bomb that Farsef's simple words had lit the fuse to. Any more disrespect towards either him or I would undoubtedly cause it to blow.

Of course, I could under no circumstances allow that to happen. My brother's temper, while admirable at times, could also land him in _very_ hot water. As could mine but I need not speak further on that. I placed a hand on his shoulder. ''Nice words, brother but I don't think Farsef's _quite_ got the hint _just_ yet. Maybe he needs a demonstration?'' I could barely keep a straight face as I said the words.

''Whatever you think, my sister. This is _your_ day after all.'' How considerate. Even after all the emotional and psychological torment Aarash had surely put him through, my brother still allowed _me_ to take full credit for today's events. Who in their right mind would ever call him evil when he is capable of such kindness as this?

Before I could get sentimental, I gestured for Assef to lay the cage on Farsef's stomach. He did so, the look of pure joy on his face truly warming my heart. What did I say? When he's happy so am I. ''Danke,'' I said.

''Kein Problem, kiddo,'' he responded. Farsef arched his head and screamed in pain. I looked at Assef in confusion.

"What the fuck is his problem?" Assef simply smirked, pointing to the cage, and to the red burn forming on Farsef's stomach. I laughed: the cage had obviously still been burning when Assef put it on top of the boy. Fucking wonderful.

There was nothing, no amount of begging or pleading, that could save Farsef now. He was truly in a dire situation as my brother began to slowly undo the latch on Mirwais cage. The fun could really begin now. I felt a rush of adrenaline flowing through my veins.

Kamal let out a little gasp, his eyes filling up with fresh tears. Wali, in an attempt to be supportive, placed his arm around his friend's shoulder and drew him in close. Kamal smiled gratefully at the brief moment of comfort his friend was offering to him. That is, until my brother put a stop to their sweet, affectionate moment. ''Wali, I need you to do something for me and I don't want any arguments about it. Okay?''

Wali nodded frantically. What other choice was there? Assef pointed to the rucksack lying a mere seven feet or so from him. ''There's a small collapsible pot in there, go fetch it, pour the water from that bottle into it and boil it over the fire. Can you do that?'' he asked in a patronising tone of voice.

'Collapsible pot?' I thought. 'When in the hell did we get one of those?' I didn't have time to mull over these thoughts however, as Wali's shaky voice immediately turned my attention to him.

''W-what do you need boiling water for?'' Wali asked curiously. He was struggling to hide his fear and his hands trembled at his sides.

''Because I want to make a cup of fucking tea, what do you think I need it for?'' Assef retorted back, jerking his thumb in Farsef's direction. With a defeated sigh, the dog got to his feet and began trudging over to the rucksack. He knelt down and retrieved the little pot from inside. It took the idiot a few moments to set it up.

His eyes found my brothers as if hoping for some sign of approval. When he didn't get any, he struggled to his feet and picked up the bottle of lake water.

''Don't spill it,'' I ordered, watching him unscrew the lid. ''If even _one_ drop of that water spills you'll be in for it, is that clear?'' Ah, how the feeling of power coarsed through me.

''Yes, I won't spill any. I'll be careful. Promise.'' Wali sounded like a child pleading for his parents approval. He shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. His eyes surveyed the carnage before him with a mixture of awe and terror. Surely he never once could believe that Assef or I were capable of such things. We had both shown ourselves to have a violent side, but this? Even the hardest of men would be shocked at what had already transpired today and need I mention that the worst was yet to come?

I pursed my lips into a thin line as I stared at him. For some reason I always felt that Wali was a lot less obedient than Kamal. That he _enjoyed_ causing discord and annoyance to my brother and I. The thought caused me to growl loudly in frustration. If there was one thing I couldn't stand from my slaves it was disrespect. If Wali _dared_ to fuck around with either myself _or_ Assef then he would suffer great consequences for it.

Slowly, Wali unscrewed the lid of the water bottle. He kept one hand on the pot handle to keep it from falling. His eyes were narrowed in concentration as he struggled not to let even a tiny _drop_ of water fall. So he was listening to my commands after all. Good boy. With a grumbled swear, he poured the water into the pot.

''H-how much do you want?'' he asked, directing the question to my brother rather than I.

Assef kept his eyes on Mirwais. ''All of it, Wali. Trust me, we'll need it.''

''Y-yes, a-agha.'' Wali lowered his head submissively. What a good little dog. I felt like giving him a pat on the head for his obedience. The raw power I had over this boy was truly remarkable. And to think, only months ago he was crushing me like an ant under his boot and humiliating me with that fucking lizard. Oh how the tables had well and truly turned.

My attention wandered again as I gazed at the spot Adia had been sitting in. Her screams as she ran from here echoed loudly in my ears, like an incessant ringing that would not shut up. How was she holding up? Was she home yet? I couldn't bear the thought of my Adia in distress because of me. What pathetic excuse for a sister am I?

Of course, my brother was able to somehow intercept these emotions. ''Saria,'' he called gently. I turned to face him. His expression was soft, understanding. ''You need to stop all this fretting, little sister. Won't do anyone any good. Okay?''

I nodded and pushed any remaining thoughts of Adia to the back of my mind, secreting them away until later. Oh there would be plenty of sleepless nights for me, I was sure. The worries and anxieties could not remain hidden forever, after all. Yet for now they must do so. I managed to crack a small smile for Assef.

''Are you going to keep staring at me, brother or shall we get this show on the road?'' I asked teasingly, gesturing to the enraged Mirwais. Assef nodded once. He placed one hand on Farsef's bruised and battered stomach while the other undid the latch of Mirwais' cage.

The severity of his predicament began to really hit home for little Farsef. ''No, NOOOO!'' he screamed, his body arching and sinking as he bucked, trying to knock Mirwais' cage off. Ironically, in his efforts to save himself, he only pissed the scorpion off even more. Wasn't his stupidity truly hilarious at times?

''Farsef,'' I said in a warning tone. ''What did I tell you about resisting this?'' I was met with silence. I began to seethe. ''I asked you a question, _cunt_ and when someone asks a question the polite thing to do would be to _answer_ them. So we'll try this again; what. did. I. tell. you. about _resisting_?'' I yelled the last word so loud he jumped.

He could barely find the strength to answer me. His voice shook with every word. ''You said n-not to d-do it. To take what I d-deserve.''

My calm demeanour painted my features as I leaned down to gently stroke his cheek, the tip of my finger coming to rest just above his bleeding lacerations. I placed one hand upon his chest and listened to the incessant beatings of his frantic heart. ''When I ask you do something, I expect you to comply, no matter the order. We can do this the easy way or the hard way, take your pick.''

Before Farsef could answer, however, his asshole brother decided to get another two cents in. ''The easy way or the hard way?'' he scoffed. ''Looking at this spectacle, _Saria_ , you don't know the fucking difference!''

'Count to ten,' I advised myself. 'Count to ten and let it go. You have the upper hand here, Saria and no matter what he says he can't change that.' I knew this would be hard to do, however. My buttons are easy to test if you know how and Aarash certainly knew how. He had a way of making my blood boil and I could tell he took great pleasure in doing so.

'Let it go, let it go,' I repeated this mantra in my head. I was calling the shots here and I would be for a _very_ long time afterwards. No matter what Aarash said or did, it wouldn't change the fact he had brought all of this on himself. That the true culprit to blame for Farsef's agony was him, not me and not Assef.

Farsef's voice, small and frail, brought me back to reality. ''I-I'll behave, Saria. I will.'' I knew he would too. He was clever and knew it unwise to incur my wrath.

''Good boy. Assef, let Mirwais out,'' I said. With a sadistic grin, my brother unhooked the latch of Mirwais cage. Now the fun was _really_ about to begin. As soon as Mirwais' tiny legs touched his bare skin, Farsef let out a terrified shriek. Of course, Mirwais reacted the way any startled animal would; by going on the attack.

Furious, he brought his stinger down and pushed it into Farsef's trembling flesh. Farsef's back arched, he let out a high pitched shriek that echoed in the otherwise silent woods. His teeth chattered as he writhed and moaned in pain. I took a moment to admire Mirwais' handiwork.

Much like a bee sting, his had left a red welt on the victim's skin. Except of course this was a hell of a lot _larger_ than a bee sting would be. Farsef craned his neck to look at his new injury and his eyes widened. ''OHHHHHH!'' he moaned. Mirwais stung him again.

Over and over he brought his stinger down in Farsef's body, causing fresh, red welts to sprout up all over his stomach. The boy's answering wails and shrieks of pain brought to me a great sense of joy and happiness. His eyes twitched as he tried to close them, but, of course, was unable to.

Kamal's reaction was equally as funny to watch. He leaned forward, so far in fact I was convinced he would topple off the tree stump. He covered his face with his hands and began to sob in earnest. ''So sorry,'' he choked. ''So sorry, Farsef.''

''N-not, _ah!_ not your f-fault, Kamal jan,'' Farsef manage to grit out through his moans of pain. How sweet. Even in his most agonising of moments he still wanted to ease the pain of someone else. Fucking faggots.

I curled my lip, watching as Mirwais continued to sting Farsef and Kamal continued to cry and beg forgiveness. Wali kept shooting subtle, comforting glances to his friend whenever he thought Assef and I weren't looking. As for Aarash, he was reacting to all this in the way I had come to expect from him; swearing and threatening my life.

The stinging continued. Mirwais must have been _incredibly_ pissed off. Assef and I took our seats back on the old, decaying log. I rested my chin on the palm of my hand as I happily watched the suffering unfolding before me. Mirwais was now stinging left, right and centre while Farsef's screams grew in pitch in response to each one.

His back arched off the ground, his eyes rolling back in his head as he began to tremble all over as though having a seizure. His lips quivered. Every so often he would make a sound that was a mixture of pain-filled cry and terrified moan. His eyes stared straight ahead, not daring to look at Mirwais but too afraid to look at me either.

I sneered down at him in contempt. Poetic justice, this was. His brother had tormented me with my worst fear, now I was tormenting him with his. I smiled maliciously at the boy, recalling how it felt when it had been _me_ who was screaming and begging for the 'monster' to be taken away. Now it was as if all the fear, the humiliation and pain I had felt had been lifted from my shoulders and placed onto Farsef's. Oh, what a feeling that was.

Assef cracked a smile at Kamal. "Are you proud of your little Mirwais?" he mocked cruelly.

"I..I.." Kamal could hardly get the words out. I could see the guilt in his eyes. "Why?" The heartbreak was evident in his voice. He glanced at Farsef for a brief moment, as though he wanted to go and comfort the sobbing, trembling boy.

I didn't answer him. He knew full well _why.._ and I didn't want to bother wasting my time or his. I drummed my fingers impatiently against my thigh. I rested my chin on my palm. Farsef's wails were getting pretty fucking irritating. 'Put a fucking sock in it, you little cunt,' I thought vehemently.

As Mirwais stinging slowed, Farsef's yells and incessant babbling only got on my nerves more. He wasn't being stung anymore so why was he insisting on howling like a banshee? I could feel my eyebrows, as well as my blood pressure, begin to rise. ''Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!'' I growled lowly, my teeth bared.

Assef watched me. I could feel his eyes glaring at the back of my head and could just imagine the half amused, half irritated look on his face. I kicked up some dust with my toe. ''Fucking shitbag cunt!'' I hissed. Whether I was referring to Farsef or Mirwais I was too angry to tell. My thoughts were just a bubbling rage, never stopping, never calming. 'Thank God I had the sense to send my Adia home before all this happened,' I thought, knowing that the worst was yet to come.

Farsef continued to sob like no tomorrow. His torso was marred with angry red welts from Mirwais stings. ''It h-hurts!'' Farsef said to nobody in particular. It want like anyone could do anything to help him. Aarash was tied up, Wali and Kamal too afraid to even look at my brother or I funny and of course Assef and I had no intention of showing mercy or leniency to the cunt.

''Farsef, Farsef look at me, brother.'' Aarash held his hand out. I noticed he'd started to call him 'Farsef' and not 'Fars'. Again, the knowledge I'd destroyed their relationship was a beautiful feeling. ''Farsef, it's okay, it's okay. Please don't cry.'' Judging by the way Aarash's voice seemed to crack as he spoke, perhaps he needed to take his own advice.

Farsef stole a glance at his brother, sighed and turned in the opposite direction once more. ''Farsef,'' Aarash sighed dejectedly.

'Time to put a stop to this fucking cheesy moment,' I thought, standing up. I fixed my collar (like I needed to, my dress was ruined anyway) and stomped over to Farsef. He looked up at me with wide, pleasing eyes. Like I gave a shit. My lip curled in a sneer as I took in the wounds Mirwais had left on his torso.

'Gross,' I thought, looking him over from head to toe. Bruises and cuts covered his arms, legs and stomach. His face was unrecognisable beneath the lacerations, his eyes _frighteningly_ odd without lids. As he coughed up more blood, letting out a gurgled whine, I congratulated myself on a job truly well done.

My happy moment was shattered, of course. Isn't it always? Farsef threw his head back as far as it would go, opened his mouth and let loose the most high, grating scream I had ever heard from him. I noticed Mirwais had stung him on top of another open cut he'd gotten from Assef's Knuckles.

''Clever, Mir,'' I grinned. I heard a soft sob from Kamal, but chose to ignore it. No use chastising him. The brat could cry a river for all I cared. Besides, he'd need to save his tears for what I had planned.

I skipped up to Farsef, kicking him once or twice for the hell of it. I was sure his ribs were at least fractured, if not broken. Blood trickled from his mouth. I placed my foot on his stomach to hold him down, while I reached to pick up Mirwais.

''Saria, what are you doing?'' I couldn't miss the frantic worry in my brother's voice. ''Saria, kiddo, what are you _doing?''_

He was at my side in what felt like half a second. The look on his face told me he had switched in 'concerned big brother' mode. I could feel his hands digging into my shoulder and it fucking _ached._

''I'm fine, Assef,'' I said. I was well aware that he wouldn't listen to me, though.

''I didn't ask if you were fine, kiddo, I asked what you were doing.'' The irritated tone in his voice didn't go amiss. I rolled my eyes, grumbling in annoyance, and turned to face him. There was already quite a height difference between him and I, but now that I was bent down, that difference was highlighted all the more. Assef bent down to my level, cupping my face with his hand.

''What are you doing, Saria?'' he repeated, slower this time.

I pointed to Mirwais, who was still resting on Farsef's stomach. ''Picking him up. Now, if you'll excuse me..''

I went to grab Mirwais again but a hand on my wrist stopped me. ''Wait, kiddo, _wait!''_ my brother admonished. ''Do you even know how to pick him up properly? Especially after he's been so mad?''

''I..'' I hesitated. Truth be told, I had no idea of how to pick up a scorpion, not least one that had just spent five minutes or so stinging the crap out of someone. ''I.. presume I just grab him?'' One look at Assef's face caused me to sigh.

''No,'' he said, sounding more than annoyed with me. ''Pick him up by the stinger. In fact, _I'll_ do it.'' This annoyed me. Did he really thinking I was so incompetent I couldn't deal with Mirwais myself? 'Well, you did just admit you had no idea how to handle one,' my brain chastised me.

I straightened up. ''Fine.''

''What are you planning to do with him exactly?'' my brother asked, looking from me to Mirwais. I gestured for him to bend down so I could whisper in his ear. As I told him my plan (in German, of course) his lips curled in a gleeful, yet sadistic smile that made his eyes light up. ''Great plan, Schwester.''

I beamed. ''Think it'll shut him up?''

''Undoubtedly.'' We both shared a laugh at the confused look on Farsef's face. Assef leaned down, grabbing Mirwais by the stinger. ''Sar, do me a favour, would you?''

''What?'' I asked. He held Mirwais at arms length away from him as though the scorpion was a piece of crap he'd picked up accidentally.

Assef pointed to a long, gnarled stick just a few feet away. ''Toss that here, sis.''

I arched an eyebrow - I wouldn't be 'tossing' anyone anything- and went to pick it up. Wali and Kamal glanced at each other, then turned their faces forward, not wanting to incur our wrath by ignoring us.

I took the time to see what my mortal enemy was doing. Aarash's face had turned red, his fists clenched and shaking by his sides. He flecked his upper lip, exposing his teeth in a fit of rage. His back was pressed up against the tree, and I noticed beads of blood dripping from a cut on his face where Assef had hit him. 'Fag,' I thought with a sneer.

I couldn't wait to see his face when I put my plan into action. I was sure that his reaction, as well as Farsef's, would be priceless. I handed the stick to my brother. ''Uh, what are you gonna do with it?''

He smirked. ''Wait and see, my dear sister.'' With this, he angled Mirwais body slightly to the right. The scorpion was still struggling, but had lost most of the fight in him. Good. I would hate to see Assef get hurt, in any way.

I jumped as Assef forcefully impaled Mirwais on the stick. ''NO!'' Kamal shrieked. He tugged at his hair on either side, letting out a pain-filled wail as he fell to his knees. He buried his head in his arms and sobbed. ''No... No.. Mir.. Why..''

His heartbreak would have been moving, if I wasn't a sociopath. As it stands, though, Kamal's sobbing and lamentations did nothing but enhance my glee. ''Oh, God, GOD!'' he screamed to the heavens.

'What the fuck is he getting so upset about? It's just a fucking _scorpion,'_ I thought. 'Not like it's a person, not that that would be any reason to cry either, but still..' I wanted to just kick Kamal or shove a pile of snow down his throat. That would shut him up. But alas, I could do neither of these things.

''Mir..'' Kamal repeated over and over, like a broken fucking record. He stared at the creature, impaled on the long, sharp stick. More and more tears ran down his face. The cunt looked like he was close to hyperventilating. ''No, no, NOOO!'' he wailed pathetically. I rolled my eyes. This was getting ridiculous.

Yes, we had just fatally injured his pet. A pet he had had for at least three years. He loved the little guy, of that there was no doubt. But still, did he have to be so melodramatic? It was _just_ a scorpion. It could easily be replaced. So what the fuck was with the theatrics? I swear, emotional bullshit like that was so hard for me to tolerate on _any_ level.

''Shut the fuck up, Kamal,'' I snapped, my temper getting the better of me once again. I could almost hear myself screaming within the dark recesses of my psyche. I clenched my fists and turned away from the dramatic spectacle before me. I knew if I stood and watched Kamal's crying I would only go into a fit of rage and I couldn't afford that, could I? Assef and I looked at each other. In his eyes, I could see that I shared the same unimpressed look as he.

We both hated watching people be overly emotional, especially with something as trivial as a pet. Fahrsan didn't act this fucking gay when we killed Mr. Cuddles and _that_ had caused him to lose his best friend, as well as the stupid dog. Quite frankly, I think Kamal should consider himself lucky things haven't gone worse for him.

'Stop getting worked up over it, Saria,' I told myself. 'You'll be here all day if you do.' I did my best to block Kamal out as I looked at Mirwais. He was impaled right through, his legs twitching pathetically. I could tell he was close to death. He hadn't quite left us yet though, which was good, because I needed him to be alive for when I carried out the next part of my plan.

I nodded for my brother to follow me and trudged through the ever-thickening snow. Kamal's sorrowful gaze followed me as I made my way to the still crackling fire. I think he knew what I had planned, but some part of his mind didn't want to believe it, that this was all really happening to him. I'm sure Farsef, Aarash and Wali felt the same way.

I cracked a smile at his misery and gestured for Wali to back away. He did so obediently, still holding onto the pot of water. Kamal bowed his head dejectedly, utterly emotionally drained. Normally I'd have made a smart-ass comment, but I really couldn't have been bothered.

''Let's get this show on the road, shall we?'' Assef asked over his shoulder. His cruel delight was yet untouched by the sobbing emanating from Kamal and he eagerly held Mirwais over the fire, like a pig on a spit.

There was a horrid, almost metallic sound as Mirwais's flesh burned and sizzled on the fire. His body went limp, he clearly had no fight left in him. I could tell that the agony, both from being impaled and from the scorching heat of the flames, had taken away the last sliver of fight he had left in him.

I laughed in unbridled joy, watching Assef turn the stick over and over. Kamal had buried his face in his hands and was letting out sounds that were a mix between screaming and sobbing. Within any luck he would lose his voice from all the yelling and commotion.

I sighed.

Assed seemed lost in his own meanderings and casually turned the stick again. ''Do you know what to do once we've roasted him?'' he asked casually.

I nodded. ''We're making lunch,'' was all I said, turning my head to indicate towards Farsef. Another intense snowfall had begun, and I could see Farsef starting to tremble all over, his breath condensing in the cool, Winter air. His hands were turning an off blue colour which delighted me. I couldn't wait to melt his flesh right off.

The fire crackled, a loud _pop_ making me jump as another piece of wood splintered and broke under the flames. A flock of birds took to the sky, flapping their wings and crowing loudly. I turned and watched them until they were nothing but tiny black dots in the sky.

For a few minutes, we stood in almost complete silence. The only sounds around us were those of Aarash's heavy panting and Farsef's chattering teeth. ''I hope this shuts him up for a while,'' my brother said, shooting another glare at Farsef, who immediately cowered away like the chickenshit he was.

''Oh, it will. I have no doubt about that. Gonna take a while for him to chew, after all and I _know_ he has enough manners not to talk with his mouth full,'' I chortled to myself at my own sick sense of humour. Obviously my Assef and I were speaking in German, so Farsef was at a complete loss as to what it was we were talking about, which only served to increase his agitation.

''It should be almost ready now, kiddo,'' my brother said, giving me a smile which reached all the way to his blue eyes. In them I could see the gentleness that was reserved only for me. I smiled back and put my tiny hand in his.

''Well, that's good,'' I cheerfully responded. Then, in Pashtu, I said, ''Are you hungry, Farsef? Because I think we've got just the thing for you.''

''I.. I...'' he looked up at me. His eyes travelled between my face, to Assef's, finally coming to rest on the burned, crisp shell that was Mirwais. The scorpion had clearly suffered in those last moments of his worthless life. Burned alive... I shuddered at what the must feel like. Still, nobody would miss him after all. Except Kamal, I mean, but his feelings didn't matter a damn to us.

''Done cooking?'' I asked in a teasing voice.

Assef nodded. ''Yeah, I think he's pretty well-done, sister. Wouldn't want to risk food poisoning now, would we?''

I bit back a laugh. ''Okay then. Let's give our guest his meal.'' I felt like an executioner, offering the condemned his last meal before leading him to the gallows. Assef kept a firm grip on the stick Mirwais' burnt corpse was attached to, removing it from the fire and trudging back to Farsef.

''You can keep boiling the water now, Wali,'' he called over his shoulder. Almost immediately after he said it, Wali made his way back to the fire, holding the pot out over it. My brother gave a satisfied smile and refocused his attention on Farsef.

''You know we'll have to wait for this to cool down,'' he told me in reference to Mirwais. ''Can't have his tongue getting burned, can we?'' We both sat down on the log again. Assef teasingly held the stick out over Farsef's mouth and nose, moving it back and forth slowly. ''Does it smell good, Farsef?'' he asked. ''Hmm? Do you want to taste it?''

Farsef's eyes went wide in both fear and disgust. The plan we had for both him and Mirwais finally hit home. With the look he was giving, you'd think someone was forcing him to eat a pile of dog shit. The moment I was about to verbalise this thought to Assef, Farsef let out a cry of fear, disgust and misery.

It amused me to see the look of utter horror on his face. The smell of burned flesh wafted through the air from Mirwais' sizzling corpse. ''I hope it tastes good, Fars,'' I mocked. He looked up at me with wide, beseeching eyes. Tears ran down his face, like a fierce, raging river. Even now, all these years later, I cannot forget the horror that seemed to emanate from him as Assef dangled Mirwais over his lips, taunting him.

"Saria." I heard a soft, gentle voice say. At first I looked at Farsef, but he hadn't said a word. Then I heard the voice again coming from behind us. "Saria. Please.''

I turned towards the noise and my eyes widened in surprise. When he wasn't yelling Aarash sounded a lot like his brother.

"What is it?" I snarled. I really was not in the mood to deal with anymore of his crap.

"Please. Don't." His eyes softened and for the first time I was seeing... Aarash. Not the tough facade he had been putting on. Not the angry boy who had been threatening my life just minutes before. Still, I wasn't moved.

"You don't give up. Do you?" I let all my irritation seep into my voice. His head slumped and tears began to fall onto his chest.

"Please. Saria. He's... Do what you will, but please don't make him eat that. Please." I slowly walked towards him. Assef moved to grab my hand but I pulled away and gave him a look that would have frozen anyone else's blood but served only to irritate and worry my brother even more.

With a nod in Assef's direction I kneeled in front of Aarash and gently lifted his head up with one delicate, blood soaked gloved hand until we were eye to eye.

He tugged against his ropes and grabbed the hand that wasn't staining his skin red with his brother's blood.

"Saria?"

"Yes?" It was my turn to have some fun with him.

'I'm sorry. So very sorry. I should have never hurt you. if I' I cut him off with a finger on his lips and did my best to mimicking the lusty look he had given me before.

It must have worked because I could see the light come back to his eyes and he tried to shift his body closer to mine.

It was fucking gross having him look at me like that but I grinned at him in a way I thought was shy and gently moved my hand down to his chest. His breath came quicker and his pulse quickened.

'He is a fucking pig,' I thought to myself. If my Assef was being tortured not ten feet away physical gratification wouldn't even begin to cross my mind.

"Aarash," I said with breathless, burning hatred that he must have thought was excitement.

"Yes,'' he leaned in closer, his lips inches from mine. I leaned in and moved close to his ear, breathing deeply, moving my hand in his hair. barely controlling my rage. His breath came in short bursts.

"Fuck. You,'' I hissed then spat on his face. He hissed back and I clenched my hand around his hair and slammed his head back into the tree.

"Disgusting pig.'' I kicked him in the ribs as I stood up. "Assef."

"Yes, kiddo?"

"Feeding time," I said, tightening my grip on Aarash's hair.

"Fuck you, you fucking whore!" Aarash yelled. I slammed his head back into the tree, holding him in place.

"You will fucking watch!" Slam. "And you won't make a fucking sound!" Slam. Slam. Slam. I grinned as his head made rather satisfying thumping noises.

"Saria?" Assef called and I rushed to his side, kicking Aarash in the groin once for good measure. I wouldn't have missed this for the world.

"Open up," Assef said. Farsef clamped his lips shut.

"Doesn't look like he wants it. Looks like we're gonna have to force him... " Assef looked around. ''but how?"

That was when I got an idea.

"Ohh! I know!" I cried then bent over. Assef watched closely as I held Farsef's nose shut.

"Good idea, sis,'' he said as he positioned the scorpions blackened, shrunken body at the opening of the boys mouth. Farsef held his breath for as long as possible but eventually he gave in. With a gasp his mouth flew open and my brother, quick as lightning, slipped the scorpion into the boy's mouth with ease then put his fingers over Farsef's lips, forcing them shut and making Farsef bite down.

The boy's face twitched. His eyes took on a glazed look and he made an involuntary move as if to close them in disgust, letting out a sorrowful moan when he couldn't do so. Once again, I truly had to commend my quick-thinking when it came to slicing his eyelids off.

Assef kept his hand firmly upon the boy's mouth, his fingers pressing down hard on Farsef's cheek, the palm of his hand rendering his lips completely immobile. Farsef began to twist and struggle under my brother's firm grip. He made a noise that sounded like a cross between retching and crying, looking up at my brother with an expression that was _clearly_ vying for sympathy points.

Assef cocked an eyebrow. "Really, fag, as much as I-'' my brother slowly licked his lips ''enjoy seeing you like this, turning on the waterworks isn't going to work. Earlier, maybe, but not this late. You know that." His lip twisted and he leaned right into the boy's terrified face. He put his hand under the boy's chin and squeezed tightly.

"Now, eat the fucking thing or I'll sew your mouth shut."

I shook my head in disbelief. Really? My brother was known for his outlandish threats but this one took the biscuit. I placed a hand on his shoulder. "And how exactly do you plan on doing that if he _does_ resist?"

Assef smirked cockily. "Kamal always carries a needle and thread with him."

"I.." I started. I felt my eyebrow start to lift. "Uh.. why?"

Assef shrugged. "Dunno. The little faggot always carries around shit like that with him in case of 'emergencies.'"

I was about to ask just what 'emergencies' would warrant carrying a needle and thread around, but decided against it. This was Kamal we were talking about. He'd always been a prissy little fuck, even when he and Assef were children.

"Fine," I said, going to sit back on that decaying log. I rested my chin on my hand and leaned forward. I wanted front row seats for this show. "Carry on, then."

Assef gave a nod in my direction and turned back to Farsef. "So what ya say, Fars? Gonna enjoy your meal or do I have to get the needle out?"

Farsef looked up at my brother with a steely resolve, nodding. Assef smiled, released his hand, and stood up. "I knew you'd see things our way." He folded his arms and jutted his chin out. I could tell he was proud of himself for a job well done.

Farsef's cheeks bulged with the scorpion inside of them. There was a sickening crunching sound as he bit down. He must have been a noisy eater. How disgusting. Still, I could expect nothing less from the brother of Aarash. Table manners, I'm guessing, probably didn't run in the family.

Farsef sobbed while he chewed, each bite looking like it took more resilience out of him than the last. He looked up at Assef, who towered over him, his thick arms crossed over his chest, just _daring_ him to make a wrong move. Tears coated Farsef's cheeks as he took another bite. He began to retch and gag, eyes widening, drool dribbling down his chin, a long, sticky line of spit hanging from his bottom lip.

''Farsef!'' Aarash sounded broken. Good. ''Farsef, it's okay, it's okay.'' He reached a hand out, stretching as far as the ropes binding him would allow. ''Please, l-look at me, Farsef jan.''

Cheeks still bulging with scorpion, Farsef slowly turned his head in Aarash's direction. The tension between the brothers was thick. You could cut it with a knife. For a moment, the brothers just stared at each other, a somber silence falling over the rest of us.

Aarash mouthed something to his brother. I couldn't quite make it out but, judging by the remorseful look on his face when he said it, I'm guessing it was an apology. Farsef narrowed his eyes, and turned away. He obviously had nothing to say to his older brother, not that he could anyway with Mirwais in his mouth.

Aarash hung his head low, closing his eyes, his body wracked with sobs. You could practically feel the guilt radiating off of him. I smirked. The bastard should feel guilty. All of this was his fault. He was stupid enough to hurt me, now Farsef got to pay the price for it. What a beautiful thing justice is.

''Looks like he's enjoying his lunch, kiddo,'' Assef called over his shoulder, bringing me out of my thoughts and back to the action in front of me. Farsef continued to gag, slowly chewing each bite with a look of utmost disgust on his face. I beamed; this was another hilarious sight. Assef continued to tower over the terrified boy, watching his suffering and misery with a sick, sadistic interest.

Every bite seemed to be taking more resilience than the last. Farsef was trembling so much it looked like he was having a seizure. Assef kicked him in the ribs. ''Stop or you'll choke,'' he barked. Farsef gulped down another piece of scorpion.

His mouth parted slightly, as if to beg and I got a glimpse of the chewed up body inside. I covered my mouth with my hand and swallowed. 'Gross. Didn't his mother ever teach him not to talk with his mouth full?' I thought. Assef clearly felt the same way, because he glared menacingly down at the boy.

''Shut your mouth, you fucking pig!'' he growled. ''Unless you want me to shut it for you.'' He pointed to Kamal, whose trembling hand automatically reached for the back pocket of his jeans. Instantly, Farsef closed his mouth, fresh tears streaming their way down his cheeks. Assef smiled. ''Good boy.''

I got to my feet and made my way over to my brother. The hem of my skirt dripped red beads of blood onto the snow, leaving a trail of red in my wake. Assef draped his arm over my shoulder and smiled down at me, a look of fondness and brotherly pride in his eyes.

''Almost done, Fars?'' I asked in a voice dripping with fake sweetness. He looked up at me fearfully, gulping down another piece of Mirwais. I smiled.

Assef turned to Wali. "How's the water coming along, Wali? Almost boiled yet?" There was a sense of impatience in his voice.

Wali lowered his eyes submissively, shifting from one foot to the other. "N-nearly d-done, agha," he mumbled. His hands trembled so much I thought he'd drop the pot. Luckily for him he managed to keep hold of it.

My lip curled in a cruel sneer as I turned away from him. "Hurry up and finish eating, Farsef." I rolled my eyes. Assef nudged the boy in the stomach with the toe of his black sneaker. Farsef swallowed again, the last piece of Mirwais going down.

He turned his head, opened his mouth and began to cough and retch. Tears streamed down his face, his face crumpled in a look of disgust and horror. "Oh my God! Oh my God!"

Farsef continued to retch, bile spewing out of his mouth. It was so fucking gross. "Fucking cunt," I gritted through my teeth. He whimpered, but shut up pretty quickly. I smiled to myself in self-satisfaction.

"Did it taste good, Fars?" I mocked, bending down so I was on a level with him. I gently stroked his cheek with the back of my finger. His lower lip quivered as he shied away from me. "Did it taste good, Fars?" I asked again. He turned his head away from me, choking back a sob. His chest heaved up and down as he tried to inch further and further away from me.

I became angry at his disrespect. How fucking dare he not answer my question.. After all, I could have killed him long ago. I had the power over his pathetic little life, and he _dared_ to ignore me? How stupid was this fag? The rage was festering within me, and I could feel my blood, once again, starting to boil.

I grabbed him by the throat and slammed his head down repeatedly. Over and over again his head bounced against the frozen, icy ground. I bared my teeth at him and snarled like a wild animal. "I asked you a question, cunt! Fucking answer me!"

"I.. I.."

I backhanded him across the face, causing him to cry out in pain. "Well, you little cunt? SPIT IT OUT!" I growled.

Farsef could barely get the words out. "I.. um.. It d-didn't taste good.. I m-mean it did, I mean..." he stuttered. His lower lip trembled as he tried to get the words out. "I.. uh.."

I rolled my eyes, a smile gracing my lips. He was stuttering more than anyone I'd ever heard. It was fucking hilarious. I put my blood-soaked hand under his chin, leaning in close. "All I wanted was an answer. That's all, Fars. Now was it so fucking hard to do?"

He shook his head. "I'm.. no.. I'm s-sorry," his teeth were chattering like no tomorrow. The lacerations on his face began to burst yet again and fresh, red blood spilled out onto the ground. He gagged again, tears falling from his eyes and plopping onto the snow. I straightened up and kicked him in the ribs, laughing at the wheezing sound he made, curling up into a little ball. I placed my foot on his stomach to keep him from wriggling around too much.

"Wali, is that water almost done?" my Assef asked, clicking his fingers impatiently. Wali nodded.

"Um, y-yeah, it's.. um.. you can use it now," he muttered. Assef and I both looked at each other. I could tell he was having just a hard time to keep from cracking up as I was. I glanced down at Farsef's hands, which were currently turning an odd blueish shade, probably from frostbite. This was going to be fun. I couldn't wait to melt his flesh right off.

Assef leaned over to whisper in my ear. "I'm going to fetch the pot, kiddo. Keep an eye on our guest," he said.

"Yes, brother," I said excitedly, my breath coming in quick, short gasps. I was having trouble containing my excitement. Assef grinned and kissed my forehead then abruptly turned on his heel, meandering around Farsef and towards the roaring fire.

He reached forward as if to grab the pot from Wali, who had turned the handle outwards in offering,when he suddenly froze. I watched him with worried eyes.

"Brother? What's wrong?" His eyes had darkened and a shadow fell over his face.

"'It won't work.''

"Assef?"

"It won't work. It won't be hot enough,'' he repeated, more to himself than to me.

'Brother.'' I squeezed his arm. He was starting to worry me. He shrugged away and turned and barked at Kamal, who was still doubled over, wailing in grief.

"Bring it here. Now." Assef nodded towards Kamal. In the same breath he shoved the pot back towards Wali and hissed as water dropped over the edge, sizzling on the ground.

"Fucking cunt! What did I tell you about spilling the fucking water?"

Assef's eyes narrowed and he took a step forward and slightly raised his hand as if to strike him. Wali backed off and put one hand slightly in front of himself as if in defence. Assef's eyes seemed to glow with rage and without thinking I stepped I front of him.

"Brother," I cautioned. Assef looked like he would beat the living daylight out of Wali, which would be rather inconvenient at that point in time.

"Calm,'' I whispered and wrapped my arms around his waist, crinkling my nose as the scent of blood and sweat hit me. Assef normally smelt so much more clean. I felt his body loosen and he instinctively pulled me closer, but I could tell by the way he was shaking that he was still burning on the inside.

Eventually he sighed and pulled back.

"Better?" I asked with raised eyebrows. Ever since the torture began he had been acting strange, his patience thinning and his temper growing.

"Yeah." I wasn't convinced, but chose not to press the issue. He would talk if he wanted to. Besides, it wasn't the ideal time for a heart to heart conversation.

"Wali.'' This time he was controlled but Wali flinched and took another step backwards, causing him to loose balance. Swearing under his breath Assef leaned forward and grabbed Wali's shirt, barely catching the boy before both he and the pot fell crashing to the ground.

"Wali. Kneel. Now," my brother said through gritted teeth. On his forehead a vein literally pulsed. Wali gaped at him like a complete moron and even I was confused.

'What is he doing?' I asked myself as I stared at my brother through narrowed eyes.

"W-What?"

Assef kneaded his temples, giving me a despairing look as if Wali was causing him physical pain.

"Give the fucking pot to Saria.''

I obediently reached forward and my wrist bowed slightly under the strain of the weight of the water. 'Fucking hell it's heavy,' I complained to myself as my wrist began to throb. I looked up at Assef with questioning eyes.

"Just for a bit," he said to me as he squeezed my shoulder.

"Kneel." Once again his voice turned cold. He turned to Wali, pointing to the ground directly in front of him. His fingertips dripped water from what must have been melting snow. Wali trembled but did so anyways, flinching away from the heat of the fire. As I watched I could see the tears evaporate right off his skin. I thought of how much of the fire's warmth I could feel as far away as I was and felt my skin prickle.

Although I didn't like Wali much I still flinched at the thought of how intense the heat must have been.

'What the fuck is he doing?' I narrowed my eyes further, watching my brother intently. Suddenly his hands moved to his waist and he began to unbuckle his belt.

At first I didn't understand what he was doing. I stood there staring at them like an idiot, my arms feeling like noodles. Then I heard a slight gagging noise coming from behind me. I looked towards Farsef but he was silent, being half dragged, half carried by Kamal who at that point had turned a rather disgusting shade of yellow. Then I remembered Aarash was still tied to the tree.

With a heavy sigh I turned towards him. Aarash had been silent for so long I was feeling almost unwilling to acknowledge him for fear that he would take it as an invitation to start running his fucking mouth, but when I heard Assef's belt slice through the air followed by Wali's soft whimpers I figured that if he did start yapping Assef could just beat him with it.

The first thing I noticed about him was that his face had turned red. His eyes darted back and forth between the confused look on my face to Assef and Wali. His upper lip curled in disgust. ''What the...?'' he muttered, eyes fixed on the belt in my brother's hand.

'What the fuck is his problem?' I wondered, staring intently at Aarash, who was now turning away from my brother in utter disgust and horror. Really, he didn't need to act this way. For a moment, Aarash and I locked eyes. In his, I could see all the horror, disgust, and the displeasure he was feeling.

Behind me, I heard Wali whimpering as Assef's belt sliced through the air. I looked back at Aarash, saw the look in his eyes once again. My eyes widened in realisation. 'He thinks Assef's going to... That he's going to make Wali...'

''Um.. Assef?'' I could feel my face going bright red.

"Yeah, kiddo?" He had his back to me and was doing something with his hands.

"I don't think that now is an.. Appropriate time to be doing... stuff."

I looked down awkwardly. Assef stopped what he was doing and turned and faced me. I looked down, not wanting to see.. whatever was happening. Sure I had seen my brother.. expose himself before but..

"Kiddo? " he said. I glanced up at his face. He had one eyebrow raised in amusement.

"Really?" was all he said. I could tell by the way his blue eyes twinkled that he found my.. prudishness amusing.

"Now isn't the best.." I muttered.

"Saria?"

"Perhaps you could wait until.."

Suddenly he started to blush and his expression turned to disgust.

"What the fuck, kiddo?" He moved his body to show Wali. He was still kneeling, but Assef had wrapped his belt around his hands. In his hands he held the pot of water.

"Oh." I didn't know what to say.

"What the fuck did you think I was doing?" He looked honestly flustered.

"Well.. He _was_ on his knees and you _were_ removing your belt.."

Assef brought his thumb, pointer and index fingers to his face, massaging his forehead. He looked like he didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"That's!... Wait.." He put his finger up, silencing me.

"You think I'd do that! With.. him?" He looked so disgusted that it was almost amusing.

"Well..."

'How do I put this without seriously pissing him off?' I wondered, biting my lip.

"Well?" The look in his eyes was deadly. Shit.

"You haven't.. You do seem to..."

"Saria."

"You seem to be... More.. Inclined to do that sort of thing."

I fiddled with my dress, blood drenching my fingers again.

"You calling me a faggot?"

Behind me I heard Aarash laugh, making both Assef and myself turn to stare. His laugh was like nothing I had ever heard. Rid of all his cruelty and sarcasm his laugh was...almost pleasant but sounded wrong. I didn't know it at the time but it was the laugh of a man who was slowly being stripped of his sanity.

"Uh.. Is he ok?" Me and Assef shared a similar look of confusion.

"I don't.. Know. But I think I prefer it when he's being an asshole.."

You really think I'm a homo?"

"Can we please not do this now?"

"Saria.."

"Shut the fuck up!" I didn't really want to be having a discussion about my brother's sexuality when we were supposed to be busy with other things.

"Fine. Kamal!" he screeched and turned back to Wali, giving me a look that clearly told me he wasn't going to just let the topic go. God. That was going to be a fun conversation. NOT!

"Yes, sir?"

"Bring the boy here. Now." He clicked his fingers and pointed to the spot next to Wali. As if on cue Wali moved the pot over the open flames, bringing the water back to a rolling boil.

I turned questioningly to my brother. "I thought we were..?"

"We are. I just figured this would be more effective." Assef turned around and pulled Farsef over to Wali. The boy whimpered in agony.

"W-What are you going to do to me?"

His eyes were wide as he cowered away from the flames. Assef kneeled next to him and began stroking his head.

"Afraid Fars?' Assef said gently as he brought his hand to cup the boys jaw, enticing a series of whimpers from his pallid throat. Assef leaned in as if to kiss the boy but stopped suddenly just millimetres away from his lips.

"You should be," is all he said as, to my horror, he threw the boy into the flames.

"NO!" Aarash shrieked as Farsef's screams grew to an agonised howl.

"No! Assef!" I screeched at him, the horror must have been evident all over my face.

'What the fuck? You fucking idiot!' I fumed internally as Assef gave me a blank look then tugged on one of the boys arms which he must have caught as he was falling, pulling him out of the flames and into a little heap on the ground.

"A-Assef?! What the fuck?!" I screamed at him as I knelt down next to the boy gingerly wrapping an arm around him as he vomited onto the cold hard ground.

Farsef had blisters all over his back and chest. The skin was peeling in some places, and in others he had blackened, oozing splotches. His whole body was red and he was trembling all over.

Assef looked on, seemingly unaffected.

"What the fuck were you fucking thinking?!"

"Kiddo. Calm down. It's a few blisters. Nothing serious"

I gaped at him for a few moments, unable to form the words that threatened to burst from my chest.

"Calm down, Calm Down?! You, you, you just nearly, nearly burn him to death and all you fucking have to say is that, that it was nothing serious? Nothing serious?!" I screamed at him wanting a reaction. Even a tiny change in expression to show even the tiniest hint of remorse. Yet there was none.

'So this is the depths of my brother's cruelty,' I gave myself a moment to let the fact sink in with a downtrodden heart.

Don't get me wrong. I wanted the boy to suffer, but not like that. I could never bring myself to burn someone alive, to cause that much agony, and even if I could somehow I wouldn't be able to be so nonchalant about it. My brothers actions and his uncaring deposition to what he did just then made me think.

'Is that how they see me?' I wondered in horror. 'Is that... Me?'

Without thinking I wrapped my arms around Farsef, drawing him in as carefully as I could as not to cause him anymore pain. I began to rock as I started singing an old Farsi lullaby Mama used to sing me as a child whenever I was afraid.

Afraid I was. Afraid for Assef. Afraid for Adia. Afraid for myself and the boy I was cradling to my chest. I was even afraid for Aarash, the one person I despised even more than that bitch Ahtrai.

What were we doing? What would become of us?

I didn't know, and as my song drifted into its final note I began to cry. Was this how they felt? Our victims? So alone, so empty. So scared?

Yet, as suddenly as my tears began they ended, replaced by an unyielding, burning rage. The boy looked up at me with fear. "Is..is it over now?"

I gritted my teeth and brushed by hand down his back. When I touched a particularly sensitive spot of skin he whimpered.

"Is it over yet?" I asked.

He tried to pull himself out of my grasp but I held firm. I let my gloved hand wander to one of the blackened spots of flesh and let my fingers dig in.

"Is it fucking over?" I let my rage seep into my voice and pushed in harder. He screamed so fucking loudly my head began to pound.

"Shut the fuck up!" I jerked my hand back and slapped him hard across the face. When I pulled my hand away I saw two long, fresh maroon streaks. I must have drawn blood from his burn.

"Good," I snarled as I kicked the boy in the ribs, drawing another agonised scream from him. It's his fault we've done this. His fault I made him bleed. His fucking fault that my brother burnt him. If he didn't exist then my life would have been so much more simple. So much more perfect.

"Stop! You'll kill him!" Aarash's voice was guttural. It pissed me off. He wouldn't have sounded like that if not for the little cockroach that I was crushing beneath my heel.

"Your fucking fault!" I drew my leg back as far as it would go and was about to put it through the little fuckers skull when a pair of strong arms lifted me off the ground.

I instinctively struggled against them at first, a strange feeling of déjà vu coming over me. I was panicking at first until Assef called out, "cool it, Sar."

I froze, looking up. Kamal. I pushed away from him. "Put me the fuck down!" I struggled, clawing at his arms.

Fuck. He was quite unexpectedly strong.

"I'm sorry khanom," he said in a quiet voice, pulling me so close I could feel his heart jack rabbiting.

'If only I could tear the fucking thing outta his mother fucking chest!' I hissed and reached up to claw at his face. Alas, I was too fucking small to reach.

"Assef! Tell your bitch to put me the fuck down!"I snarled in frustration.

Assef laughed.

"Ok then. Bitch?" He sounded as if he could barely contain his laughter. Kamal, the fucker, stood there for a moment with a blank expression before finally realising my dickhead brother was talking to him.

"Y..yes.. ?"

"Yes what?" my brother said sternly.

"Yes, Agha?"

"Put my sister down once she's cooled off."

"Assef!" I kicked Kamal in the stomach but he refused to let go.

"Then calm the fuck down."

"Fine!" I screamed and put all my force into pushing away from Kamal. It worked and with a dull thump I landed on the wet ground.

"Shit!" My arm flared up. I must have landed on it.

"God. Kamal." My brother clicked his fingers and pointed to Farsef, who he had been messing with up till then. Kamal dashed over and kneeled next to him whilst Assef came over and picked me up. When he put me on my feet I could see his blond hair was speckled with blood.

"Better?" His arms engulfed me in a bone crunching hug. I hugged him back, breathing in his scent and the pungent odour of sweat and blood.

"Better."

My brother gave me a hard, stony look and I met his eyes with a look of my own. "Come on then. We have work to do." He inclined his head towards the sun which was gradually moving towards the horizon.

I grinned wickedly and skipped over to Farsef, feeling much better. We kneeled next to him and I was genuinely surprised. My brother had actually bandaged the worst of Farsef's burns.

"Brother?" Assef looked at me and stroked my hair.

"Since it bothered you so much.."

My mouth fell open. 'What the fuck?' I looked around. Kamal and Wali shared the same look of surprise.

"What?" my brother said, going on the defensive. "I can be... sometimes... Stop looking at me like that! I just didn't want him to go into shock and die before we finished with him."

"Okay. Okay. I believe you!" I raised two gloved hands in front of me in surrender. Assef was being really fucking confusing. First he tried to kill him then he fixes him...

"Wali. The pot needs to be over here." Assef sat Farsef up and Wali moved closer, the pot still clasped between bound hands.

"What are we doing? " I asked in German " I thought we were going to pour the water on his hands.."

"We were but I got a better idea. We need to boil his hands. Warm water won't do what I want it to."

"And that is..?"

"To melt the flesh from his hands."

I felt queasy at the mental image. I must have let my disgust show because Assef laughed.

"Pleasant, I know." His hand returned to my hair, fiddling with one of my blood stained ringlets. I must have been touching my hair more than I thought I was.

''It's what he deserves, sister,'' his hand trailed to my face, stroking my cheek with his thumb. Then the moment was over and he pulled Farsef's hands over to the pot, just inches away from the water. Farsef realised what Assef was going to do and his eyes widened. Believe me when I say that such a thing looks creepy as fuck when you don't have any eyelids.

"Bet you wish you could look away, don't you, you little shit?''

Assef pulled his hands away from the flame suddenly, a diabolical grin on his face. I could tell I had given him an awful idea.

"As-'' I started but was cut off

"Sar, I think you're right. But since he can't close his eyes how about we do it for him?"

"What?" I didn't understand what he was getting at. I wanted him to suffer, damn it!

"Kamal. In the bag there's a spoon. Get me that and the hypodermic needles."

Kamal reached in the bag and brought over the items. Assef examined them and rolled his eyes, holding up one of the thin needles. I shivered. Even though it was small in my brothers hands it looked lethal.

"Not this one. What am I gonna do with this? Poke him to death?"

"We'll.. You have used smaller items in the past, agha," Kamal said meekly and Assef smiled slightly and playfully punched Kamal on the shoulder. Kamal flinched. My brother scowled.

"Don't be like that, Ka. We had fun, didn't we?" At that Kamal smiled and for a moment things were how they used to be.

"Yeah. We did. Sorry Asse... agha." Suddenly Kamal seemed to withdraw into himself. Assef looked almost... upset.

"Sorr...go get the bigger needle. It's in the front pouch, okay?" As Kamal turned to leave Assef caught his arm and shared a look with kamal. I raised my eyebrow at that. Did my brother almost... Apologise to the maggot? And what the hell was up with that look? I held my tongue though and Assef held up the spoon and waved it in Farsef's face.

"Umm.. Brother?" I asked. What the hell was he going to do with a spoon?

"Saria. Do you know how to stop someone from seeing? For good?"

"Uhh..." I was feeling pretty fucking stupid at this point.

"You could blind him. It'd be easy. Just put a flame close enough that they slowly roast in the sockets... But you've already said you don't appreciate that... So that leaves me just one easy option. Remove the eyes altogether."

'Oh. So _that's_ what he wanted the spoon for,' I thought, 'to gauge his eyes out.'

I didn't know whether to laugh at the thought of gauging someone's eyes out with a friggin spoon or to cry at my own slowness. Normally me and Assef were quick to guess the others intention. Not today, obviously. Suddenly something dawned on me.

"But if we do that he won't be able to see what we're doing?" Assef grinned.

"He will..'' I was about to ask how but his smile told me everything I needed to know, ''if we only take out one eye."

Farsef began to cry, realising his fate, and Aarash began to scream.

"Assef! Don't you fucking dare!"

Assef grinned in his direction, then turned to Wali.

"Go to the lake and add more water to the pot.''

I could see that more than half the water had evaporated.

"Yes, agha," he muttered and tried to get up. As he did so he lost his balance and almost landed face first in the flames. Assef had to pluck him out of the air.

"Stupid fuck," he hissed and pointed him towards the lake.

"Lake. Water. Don't fall,'' was all he said before turning his attention back to Farsef.

"Shhhh," Assef cooed, wiping away Farsefs tears and positioning the spoon just below his left eye.

"Assef! I'll fucking kill you!" Again with the broken record.

"Can I do it?" I was really excited. But I could tell right away that the answer was no

"Uh.. Kiddo" I could tell he was trying to find the right words. "Truthfully, _I'm_ not even 100% sure what I'm doing," he said in German, ''I think it's best if I do this. Okay?"

"Yes, brother," I said glumly. I understood his reasons but I was still a bit down. I wanted the pleasure of doing it all by myself.

Farsef whimpered then relaxed, slumping against Assef as the fight left his body. He cried silent tears as Assef, to my surprise, cradled him gently and lent his head back.

"Good boy." He smiled then, to my disgust, dug the spoon under what was left of the bottom eyelid.

Farsef screamed and clawed as the spoon head went deeper into the socket. The head was almost completely hidden when Assef stopped moving his hand.

I leant over to see what was happening when I started to gag and heave. Blood was dripping down his face and Assef was jiggling his wrist about, sawing at something. As he did so Farsefs screams became more guttural and Aarash's threats became more and more vile. Then with a jerk Assef pushed down and there was a sickening pop as Farsef's eye came out of the socket.

"Fuck!" I yelled, then ran towards the log, heaving and gagging until I vomited. Farsef was screaming and clutching at the wound.

"Not bad, ehh?'' Assef admired his handy work. I just heaved harder and I could hear Kamal doing the same. Aarash began screaming.

"You fucking bastard! You sadistic fuck!"

My brother just laughed. "Hey Sar, look!" I turned around. Assef was holding something bloody out to me, and I knew right away what it was. The sight of the eye sitting in his palm, was enough to start me vomiting and retching all over again.

"Come on, Sar. It's kinda cool." Assef began poking and prodding it.

"Will you fucking stop that?!" I could feel my stomach turn. Assef just smiled and slowly approached me, left arm out, the eye pinched delicately between his thumb and forefinger.

"Assef! Don't you dare!" I screamed. He sped up his steps and I dashed over the log and ran to cower behind Kamal. Assef laughed and chased after me, hopping over the mewling, cowering boy who lay across the ground, clutching his face and screaming. Assef stopped just feet away from us. I cowered into Kamal, who put his arm protectively in front of me.

Assef raised his eyebrow at Kamal.

"Stay the fuck away from me!" I screamed as he waved the eye at me. My brother smirked and moved closer. Tears pooled in my eyes and Assef stopped, all playfulness drained from him.

"Sar?"

"Stay the fuck away!" I screamed, clutching Kamal. I did _not_ want that thing anywhere near me.

"Shit. Kiddo. I'm sorry. I was just playing.'' He lowered his arm and gingerly walked forward. I let go of Kamal and moved towards Farsef. My brother followed.

"Come on we have work to do" I begrudgingly said, taking a step away from him. Assef grinned.

"Squeamish much?" Then leaned over and touched Farsefs arm, turning him over. The boy flinched and tried to cover his face but Assef pulled his arm away.

"Shit.'' Blood cascaded down the boys face. Goo and other fluids were leaking from the empty cavity.

"Hmm.. Sar?"

"Yes?"

"Hold this." Before I could do anything Assef thrust the eyeball into my palm.

"Gah!" I screamed and tossed the eye into the air.

"Don't drop it!" Assef panicked and I snatched the eye out of the air, narrowly avoiding the ground.

"Ewwwww!' Why?!" I cried, unable to look at it. Next to me Assef was heating the spoon over the flames.

"Sealing the wound," he said in explanation as the spoon glowed red. Farsef whimpered but before he could move Assef drove the hot spoon into the cavity. There was a sickening sizzle as the spoon touched... Whatever was left. Farsef screamed bloody murder.

"Assef,'' Aarash growled as his younger brother sobbed, ''you sick fuck. When I get my hands on you.."

"You'll what?" My brother was barely paying attention to Aarash.

"I won't do a damn thing to you. But you know what I will do?' His words were broken by heavy breathing, 'I'm going to find your little whore of a sister, and I'm going to dismember the little bitch, slowly working my way up from her toes to her shoulders. Then, once there's nothing left, when the little whore is screaming in agony bleeding out all over the cold, hard ground I'm going to fuck her and after I've had my way I'm going to throw her down the Bakht Rawan well and I'm going to make you watch as she sinks to the bottom, you sick..GAH!" Aarash was cut off by my brothers fist slamming into his stomach.

I could feel chills running up and down my body. Tears began to pool down my face. I hugged myself, tremors running through me. At this point I felt genuine terror.

"Assef.." My mouth had trouble working coherently. I could hear Aarash spluttering and crying in the background whilst my brother began mercilessly beating him. There was a look of pure, undulated hatred in his burning blue eyes. It was clear my brother wasn't going to stop until Aarash was dead.

"Assef," I said again. All I wanted was to feel my brothers warm, strong arms around me and his comforting voice in my ears. Assef still didn't hear me.

"khanom..." Kamal sounded unnerved. I ignored him and crumpled to the ground. Behind me I swore I could hear Wali laughing.

"A-Assef!" I screamed. Still no response.

"Saria..." I felt Kamal's arms fold around me, drawing me close. I could feel his tears in my hair and leant into his warmth, this time offering no resistance to his touch. I really needed a hug. Even if it was only Kamal.

"Sar.." he whispered. That was all it took. I began screaming, sobbing to his chest. I must have been pretty loud because pretty soon Assef was at my side.

"Fuck off!" he snarled as he pulled me into his arms.

"Assef!" I mewled like a kitten.

"Shhh.. It's alright, kiddo." He didn't sound too positive about that, though.

"Assef," I trembled. Aarash started hysterically laughing.

"Aww. Did I push the poor baby's buttons? Did I, kiddo? Did I, you fucking-" Assef looked up as a loud, wet noise rang through the trees.

''Don't you dare talk to her, you sick fuck.'' At that I turned looked up. Kamal was stood there, his hand raised as if to strike Aarash.

Assef's eyes were wide with surprise.

"The little fucker grew a pair, did he?" Aarash began another round of hysterics, only to have his cackling cut off by Kamal's hand.

"Shut up. Apologise. Now."

I could feel Assef nodding his head in approval.

"Eat shit," Aarash hissed.

I hugged Assef closely. Aarash had really upset me. Three years ago a little girl about my age went missing. They found her body three weeks later floating in the Bakht Rawan well. Her arms and legs had been cut off.

'Just like he said,' I whimpered.

Kamal was about to bring his palm down again when my brother stopped him.

"Ka. Wait..'' Assef put me onto the ground and kissed my forehead.

"Sar? The eye?" he asked. I held my hand out and gave it to him, glad to be rid of it.

"It has come to my attention.." My brother began to circle the clearing. "That we haven't been very courteous hosts." He came to a stop next to Farsef.

"We've been so caught up with this one.." He kicked Farsef gently in the ribs then continued to Aarash, ''that we forgot all about you." Assef stroked Aarash's cheek.

"Fuck off." Aarash's voice went small and he visible shook beneath my brothers glare.

"Are you hungry, Aarash _dear?_ " Assef leant into Aarash, putting one arm against the tree for support. I giggled when I realised what my brother was going to do. Aarash, however, wasn't so quick to catch on.

"What the fuck are you going on about?" Aarash opened his mouth but Assef put a finger to his lips, leaning in close, placing his left knee up on the tree, bringing their body's close enough they were practically rubbing against each other. I blushed and was tempted to look away. They were getting a bit too close for my liking, and for Aarash's liking, if his face was anything to go by.

"Open up," Assef said playfully as he brought the eye to Aarash's face. Aarash looked like he was going to be sick, but clamped his mouth shut. It was clear he did not want to obey my brother.

Assef chuckled.

"So that's how it's gonna be," he said, then did something that, to this day, I still find fucking disturbing.

He pushed his hips against Aarash's body.

"Open up?" Assef asked again.

"Fuck you!" Aarash jerked against the ropes, but that only served to push the two of them closer.

"Don't tempt me," Assef growled, grinding his hips against Aarash then tipped his head back, putting the eye into his mouth.

"Assef!" I squealed, not realising how fucking sick the next couple of moments would be.

Assef put his hand behind Aarash's head and, to my horror, kissed Aarash.

Yeah. You read that right. He fucking kissed the creep.

Aarash jerked and writhed, trying to get away but it was futile. With a moan of displeasure Aarash gasped, allowing my brother to slip his tongue in his mouth.

"Assef! What the fuck?!" I screamed. It was fucking disgusting to see my brother shoving his fucking tongue down that pricks throat.

Then, without warning, Aarash let out a horrible choking, gagging, spluttering noise and my brother pulled away, putting a hand over Aarash's mouth.

"Swallow it, you stupid fuck," he hissed. That's when it clicked. Assef must have slipped the eye into Aarash's mouth when..

"Oh my god, Assef!" Aarash shot me a deadly look.

"Don't. Fucking. Start," my brother was gagging. When he wiped his mouth I could see blood on his lips. He must have cut Aarash's lips during their... I refused to call that a kiss.

"What?"

"You..you..you.." was all I could manage.

"That was not a kiss. Before you say anything..''

"Well, what would you call that?!" I was beyond... shocked.

Assef smirked. "It's called 'friendly persuasion', Sar."

"Friendly persuasion my ass." Aarash heaved, tears streaming down his face. He looked as shaken as I felt. Assef punched the tree next to Aarash's head.

"I could have broken your fucking jaw, But I didn't. Remember that, faggot,'' Aarash growled at my brother, then spat at him. I gasped. How dare he disrespect my brother like that!

''If you think you're not a faggot then you're highly mistaken' my brother stood upright.

'Funny, Aarash. Tell me, how did your brothers eye taste?'

''Fuck you! That wasn't a knife I felt in your pants?'' Aarash said... Playfully. What the fuck was wrong with him?!

"You fucking wish.'' 'that's it,' I thought. The whole Assef Aarash thing was getting pretty old pretty quick.

"Kamal..?" I said, feeling miffed off.

"uhh... Yeah?" He sounded a bit.. off.

''Help me with Farsef? Assef obviously is too busy flirting with.. IT to help me out," I grumbled, not liking the whole situation. Assef.. What the fuck was wrong with him?! With the both of them?! Did Assef.. Want to fuck him?

I gagged at the thought. "S..sure," Kamal grumbled, looking down. I could see a faint blush on his face.

"I'm surrounded by faggots," I grumbled. Kamal reached down and propped Farsef up against his knee. He looked expectantly at me. I looked towards Assef, but he was too busy arguing with the subhuman piece of shit to be bothered with me.

"Well, fuck you too!" I yelled over in their direction.

"Wali?" I clicked my fingers and he moved closer like the obedient dog he was.

"Heat the water," was all I said.

"Kamal?"

"Yes, khanom?" I smiled. Kamal may have done wrong but his actions just now showed loyalty and, although he had much more to prove, he was starting to become the boy I remembered.

Wali on the other hand.. I would have to punish him for his insolence later. Laughing at that... Assef would be furious once he found out.

"When the water boils I want you to put his hands in the pot and hold them until I say otherwise. okay?"

"Yes, khanom..." He suddenly looked confused.

"What is it?" I grumbled. I wasn't in the mood for questions.

"Should I put one hand in at a time or both at the same time?" I raised my eyebrow. That was actually a pretty good question.

I looked up at the sun. It was close to setting.

"Both. It's quicker that way." At least, I thought it was. Kamal nodded his head then looked to wali. Wali nodded his head in response then moved closer.

"Ready?"

"Ready." Kamal looked at me.

"Now?"

"Uhh.." I turned around, checking to see if Assef was coming. He was... Completely out of fucking sight. What the fuck, Assef?

"He better not. Now will you fucking start already?" I was getting impatient. We still had a few more 'activities' planned for dear, sweet Farsef.

Kamal swallowed and began visibly shaking.

"I..could you please hold this, khanom?" Kamal held out one of the larger syringes and I hesitantly reached for it. I hated needles, and the thought of touching one was rather.. Unnerving.

"Don't drop it, okay?" Kamal smiled at me and I glared back. What did I look like, a complete idiot?

Kamal placed his hands on Farsef's wrists and gently guided them into the pot. Farsefs reaction was instantaneous. He began screaming again. Wali flinched and water sloshed up the side of the pot, almost scalding Kamal. I hissed at first but when Farsef screamed I straightened up and began laughing.

The way he was writhing and gasping reminded me of a fish Assef, Kamal, Wali and I found on the shore of a lake whilst on vacation. The boys began kicking it around until blood began to pour out of the writhing creatures body until it went limp, it's mouth barely moving, gills flaring rapidly. Assef crushed its head under his boot. I was only five and it was the first time I had ever seen my brother act so viciously and I was both thrilled and repulsed much as I had been today. In some ways Farsef was the metaphorical fish.

I was cackling so loudly that I didn't hear Assef approach.

"What you laughing at kid-oh my god," Assef whistled.

"I know." Kamal sounded disgusted but also as if he was seeking praise. My brother slapped Kamal on the shoulder.

"I didn't think you had it in ya."

'Go on and fucking ignore me then..' As if reading my mind Assef turned to me.

"You've gone quiet. What's up?"

I glared at him then turned back to Farsef. Bad mistake. I started to dry heave.

Bits of flesh were floating in the surface. The water was dyed red with blood and I was glad the water obscured what was left. Farsef was howling and so was Aarash.

"Kiddo?" The playful tone in his voice was slowly dwindling away.

I continued to ignore him and stared at Farsef's face, admiring the way it crumpled in agony.

'I hope it fucking hurts,' I internally snarled.

"Kiddo? What's wrong?"

"Kamal?" I said as if I never heard Assef speak.

"Kiddo?"

"Uhh.." Kamal swivelled his head between us, unsure of what he was supposed to do. After a little bit he shrugged and looked at me, raising a grunt of annoyance from my brother.

"Yes?"

"Pull his hands out now." I swallowed heavily, breathing in the scent of blood and sweat.

"Saria Ahmed. Answer me this instant!"

'Oh no he fucking didn't,' I fumed.

"Oh, Assef!' I exclaimed in mock surprise "I didn't know you were there, brother! I thought you were still FUCKING Aarash!"

Kamal gasped and Assef, who had always seemed to have a retort for everything, just stood there, a look of disbelief spread across his face.

"Kamal?" He blinked stupidly then sighed.

"Sorry, Saria," he apologised then pulled out Farsef's hands.

What was left made Farsef scream.

Bits of flesh were falling off his hands, revealing muscle and sinew. In some places I swore I could see bone. But it wasn't as severe as Assef had lead me to believe it would have been.

"Assef?" I questioned, not sure what to do next.

"Uhh.. Well that.. Didn't do what I thought it would.." Assef looked just as confused as I did.

"So..."

"Soo...uh..." My brother, the great Assef Ahmed, had run out of ideas.

"Well..." Farsef was screaming and Aarash had taken to screaming long streams of expletives.

"I know!" I suddenly had an idea. "Remember the canisters we took from the hospital?"

Assef cocked his head slightly. He raised an eyebrow. "The liquid nitrogen?" he asked. "What do you want to do with that?"

I felt the corners of my mouth turn upwards in a cruel smile, a giggle escaping my lips. Reaching out, I picked up one of Farsef's hands, eliciting a howl of pain from the boy, and another stream of expletives from his brother. I swallowed back bile as I touched the muscle, bone and sinew, watching my hand become saturated in blood once again. 'This is fucking disgusting,' I thought, yet I could not bring myself to turn away. In a way, it was morbidly fascinating to see what I had just done.

Only twelve-years-old and already, in the space of one day, I had committed crimes that would shock the most hardened of criminals. Even to this day, it still amazes me the full extent of what my brother and I were capable of doing. I played absently with Farsef's fingers for a minute, chuckling softly to myself at the way he would groan in pain each time I moved one.

"You fucking cunt!" Aarash screamed, writhing against his ropes. "Leave him alone! I'll fucking kill you, you little whore! You hear me? I'll rip your fucking intestines from your fucking body and make your faggot of a brother eat them!"

I dropped Farsef's hand, frozen in shock for a moment. Beside me, I heard Assef growl under his breath, grinding his teeth. Kamal, who had been relatively silent up to this point, rose to his feet, eyes blazing with rage. "Don't," he snarled, stalking towards Aarash, fist raised, "DON'T talk to her! Don't even fucking look at her, you hear?" Hearing him defend me like that, it really warmed my heart. Perhaps one day the friendship shared between him and Assef would return.

Assef and I both watched, grinning, as Kamal's closed fist collided with the side of Aarash's head, causing it to snap to the side. Aarash hissed in pain, and I could see another purple bruise beginning to form on his face. He let out a low, inhuman growl as he turned back to face Kamal. "Well.. you've certainly changed your fucking tune from last time I saw you, haven't you, Kamal jan?" he asked sarcastically. "Sticking up for that little slut, now are you?"

"Shut. your. damn. _mouth!"_ Kamal punctuated each word with sharp slaps to Aarash's face, causing him to cry out in pain. Farsef gasped each time Kamal's hand struck his brother's face, and as I looked at him, I could see a flicker of sympathy in his eye. I may have torn the fragile chords of their relationship apart, but, I knew, deep down the boy still held some love and care for his brother. Not that there would be any hope of a reconciliation between them, anyway. Farsef certainly wouldn't be alive to try. The thought made me laugh loudly.

"What are you laughing at, you sick bitch?" Aarash snarled, "what the fuck is so funny?" I continued chortling to myself, completely ignoring him, which, if the swear words coming from his mouth were anything to go by, did not sit well with him at all. "Answer me, you fucking CUNT!"

Kamal cracked Aarash on the head again. He growled then spat up at him. Beside me, I felt Assef tense. "Ka," my brother called. Kamal turned.

"Caa, agha?"

Assef gestured for Kamal to come back to us. "Don't waste your time on him, Kamal. There's more important things to be doing." As he said this, he gave a leering smile down to Farsef, who was sobbing softly to himself, curled up in a tight ball, blood and tears saturated his face. With a final glare to Aarash, Kamal turned and began making his way back to us. Assef smiled at the boy, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Tashakor," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Thank you for standing up for her."

Kamal looked down at me. I smiled, nodding my gratitude to him. Assef slung an arm round me, ruffling my hair. "So.. kiddo.. what's the plan for that nitrogen, huh?"

"Well.." I grinned slyly. "I know it can freeze a finger right off if you hold it in there for long enough.." I turned to Farsef, grabbing his hand once again and dangling it in front of my brother, whose blue eyes lit up with excitement.. "and I don't think Farsef has much use for his fingers anymore, do you?"

"No, no, no no!" Farsef whimpered. "please God, save me! Please!" How pathetic. Did he really think some mystical fucking deity was going to come and rescue him? That some fucktard in the sky would suddenly swoop down and make everything all better? 'God won't save you now, you little piece of shit..' I internally mocked his ridiculous religious beliefs. My brother and I were playing God today, and there was not a damn thing anyone here could do or say to stop what was to unfold.

"Shut your fucking mouth!" I spat in the boy's face and he gasped in disgust and fear. I leaned down so we were nose to nose. Being this close, I could see the gaping, oozing hole in his eye socket where his left eye should have been. The vitreous fluid that poured down his face, mixing with the blood and sweat. It was probably the most disgusting sight I had ever seen in my life. I swallowed back bile, shutting my eyes for a brief moment as I turned my head and retched. How absolutely horrendous.

"Kiddo?" Assef sounded concerned. He began making his way slowly towards me. "kiddo, you okay?" He reached my side and put a gentle hand upon my shoulder. I coughed, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. Assef looked down at Farsef's gaping eye socket, at the goo oozing from the wound. He smirked. "Pretty sick, huh?" He poked his finger in the hole, causing me to retch again.

"Assef!" I shrieked, slapping his hand away from the boy. "Stop!"

"Come on, Sar, it's not so bad." He laughed and continued poking his finger in the gaping socket, twisting it this way and that, causing Farsef to scream and me to begin gagging.

"Ewww.." I moaned, putting my head in my heads. "Fucking hell, brother!" I shook my head in exasperation. "Fuck.."

Assef stopped, pulling his hand away from Farsef and wiping it clean in the snow. He brushed a lock of hair behind my ear and lowered his voice to a whisper. "I'm sorry, kiddo. Just got a little carried away."

I nodded once, leaning my head against his shoulder for a brief moment. "Alright." As I looked around me, I noticed the sun had almost set, and stars were beginning to twinkle high above us in the night sky. I shivered, teeth chattering, arms wrapped around myself in an attempt to keep warm. My dress was now saturated, clinging to my legs, my tights torn and shoes bloody.

"C-come on.." I could barely string a sentence together, that's how cold I was. "I want to g-get this o-over with."

Assef nodded, straightening up and extending a hand to pull me to my feet. "You and he both, I'm guessing," he teased with a grin to Farsef, who had turned his head away from his, body wracked with silent sobs. Assef kicked the boy in the side. "It's rude to ignore your hosts, Farsef. I would have thought your parents would have instilled better manners in you." The boy didn't answer. It seemed all fight had been drained out of him.

"Right. Let's get this shit done." Assef clicked his fingers. "Wali!"

The boy turned his head immediately, waiting for the next command like the dog he was. "Yes.. sir?"

It was then I noticed his hands were still tied by Assef's belt. Assef stormed over, looking impatient and unwound his belt from around Wali's wrists, looping it through his trousers once again.

Assef pointed to the gym bag. "There's about four or five vials of liquid nitrogen in there. Get them and bring them to us. And do not, I repeat, do _not_ drop those vials. Do I make myself crystal clear?"

"Yes.. sir.. yes.." Wali muttered, looking down at his feet. He slumped off obediently, like a good dog should.

"How long is this gonna take to work?" Assef asked, looking down at me, "the nitrogen, I mean.. how long until it'll take effect?"

"Um.." I pressed a finger to my lips, "well.. I read in a book once that if you hold it in there long enough.. it'll snap them right off."

Assef raised an eyebrow. "How long is long enough then?"

"Dunno.." I shrugged. "Maybe ten minutes.. hm.. fifteen at max I'm betting."

"Okay, then. You know we're going to have to finish up pretty soon. I don't want you catching a cold from being out here too long." It was ironic that my brother could be so concerned for my well being, yet so callous towards the child lying bound and stripped at his feet. It was sweet, really, knowing that my safety and health meant so much to him.

"Well, if _someone_ would hurry his fucking ass up.." I gave a stern glare to Wali who was fumbling around on his knees, hands in the gym bag, looking for the cannisters. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. I clicked my fingers at him, "what in the fuck is taking so long, you filthy dog?" I snapped.

"S-sorry, khanom.. sorry.." Wali picked up the bag and turned it over. Vials, syringes, the hammer and lemon zester spilled out, littering the ground. Assef put his head in his hands, shaking his head exasperatedly.

"You dumb fuck.." He stormed over to Wali and grabbed him by the arm. He pulled him to his feet. "Get those vials. Bring them to Saria."

"A-agha?" Wali's voice came out little more than a terrified whisper. Assef glared at him, causing the pathetic excuse for a boy to shrink back in on himself.

"What?"

"Do.." he looked down at the mess he had stupidly created.. "do you want me to clean up?"

Assef tugged violently on the boy's arm, causing him to fall to his knees. He gritted his teeth in frustration, then yanked Wali to his feet once again. "I'll clean up here. You've already wasted enough time here, faggot." He pushed the vials of nitrogen into Wali's trembling hands, then pointed to me. "You sure you're going to be able to get those over to Saria without making a complete ass of yourself?" he asked sarcastically.

Wali didn't know what to say in response to this. He simply staggered away from my brother, vials clutched to his chest, almost tripping over his own feet in his haste to obey. "Sar," Assef called over, now down on his knees cleaning up the mess Wali had created, "make sure he doesn't spill a single drop of the nitrogen. Teach him a lesson if needs be."

"Ja, brother. Wali, get over here!" I barked, drawing myself up to my fullest height. Even though it certainly wasn't much, even though my fullest height at the time was probably only 4 ft or thereabouts, the little bitch still lowered his head submissively, slowly trudging through the snow as he made his way towards me. He moved at a snail's pace, four vials of liquid nitrogen in his hands. I pulled Farsef around, yanking him into an upright position. His head lolled against his neck limply, drool dribbling out of his mouth and onto his bruised, lacerated chest. I knew he was not long for this world, and that if we wanted to have our last bit of fun with him, we needed to do it fast.

Aarash snarled again, slamming his closed fists against the ground, his eyes almost bugging out of his sockets. His gaze travelled from the lifeless, hopeless look on his brother's face, to my own, joy-filled eyes. Mockingly, I leaned down and stroked Farsef's cheek, cooing sarcastically to him. "Don't leave us just yet, Fars," I whispered in his ear. "We have so many fun things planned for you. You certainly don't wanna miss this."

The boy moaned in pain, slumping against me, barely able to sit up on his own power. Dejected, he fell backwards, collapsing into the snow with a low groan. I kicked him in the side of the head. "You fucking better not get lazy on me, you little cunt! When I tell you to sit up, you'll fucking sit up.." I snapped, spittle flying from my mouth. Farsef turned to face me, looking at me with a beseeching eye.

"Pl-please.." He could barely string a coherent sentence together. Mucus seeped from his nose, two trails of tears saturating his cheeks. I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

"Khanom?" Wali was at my side, holding the vials out to me. "W-where do you want me to put these?"

I sighed. "Hold onto them for a moment, Wali," I said, craning my neck to see what my brother was doing. He was still kneeling by the gym bag, holding something in his hands, a coy smile playing on his lips. 'Now what's he up to?' I thought, rolling my eyes. There wasn't time for fucking around. Things needed to be done, things needed to be done fast.

"Assef?" I called over. "Brother, what are you doing?"

Assef ignored me, completely engrossed in the small object in his hand. "Stay here with him," I barked at Wali, gesturing to Farsef. He nodded and dropped to his knees at the boy's side. I made my way to Assef, putting a hand on his shoulder. "What've you got there, brother?"

"Saria.." he began, holding the object out to me, "did you mean to put this in there?"

I took it from him as he got back on his feet. My eyes widened as I looked down at the item in my palm. An ID card. Staring back at me was a picture of Dr. Behnam, the faggot doctor who had treated me at the hospital. The man who had refused to allow my brother into the operating theatre, even when we had both begged for it. The man who saw me crying for my brother and refused to let him stay with me.

"Um.." I started, "I don't remember putting that in here. Probably put it in there by accident. Why, what do you want to do with it?"

Assef leaned down to whisper in my ear, his breath tickling my ear, his rich accent a welcome sound. "Sar, the police are going to find out about this. And when they do, they're going to want to find a suspect." We both shared a look, meeting each other's eyes, then looking back at the ID card again. "What are they going to think when they find this card here?"

I gasped. "You want to.. I mean... are we?" I was so excited I could barely speak. Of course, once the police would find this card, Dr. Behnam would become an instant suspect in Farsef's murder. Knowing the extent of the injuries caused to the child, there was no doubt in my mind they would be looking to execute the perpetrator. Now we could get revenge on the doctor for how he disrespected us. It was, in a way, like killing two birds with one stone.

"That piece of shit needs to be wiped from this earth," Assef took the card from me and put it into the back pocket of his jeans. "We can make that happen."

"Right then." I clapped once and turned back to Farsef, grinning at the trembling, weeping child. Another cold shiver ran up the base of my spine and I once again noted how dark it was becoming. 'Fuck. Let's finish this so I can go the fuck home,' I grumbled internally. I clicked my fingers at Wali. "Sit him up. Hold him. Do _not_ let him lie back down, okay?"

Wali nodded obediently, grabbing Farsef under the arms and hoisting him into a sitting position. The boy's body slumped against Wali's, almost causing our pathetic slave to keel over. 'He's not that fucking heavy, you fucking cunt..' I rolled my eyes. "Kamal?" I noted just how much more soft my voice became when I said his name, how I didn't seem to be nearly as harsh with him as I was with Wali. In some ways, I think, I still held out hope that Kamal could become the boy I had known in childhood. I really wanted to believe this.

"Yes, khanom?" He was at my side instantly, awaiting my next command.

"Keep him," I glared over at Aarash, "under control. Make sure he doesn't get too loud, we need to concentrate."

"Yes, khanom." Kamal made his way to Aarash's side. He stood a few feet away from the boy, but close enough that he could easily quieten him if he got too loud or obnoxious. Which, much as I was loathe to admit it, I knew he was going to.

Wali grunted under Farsef's weight, straining to keep the boy upright. He squeezed his knees on either side of Farsef's torso, causing the boy to cry out in pain as it put pressure on his obviously badly broken ribs. I smirked. ''Good, Wali. Keep him still.''

My slave nodded, squeezing Farsef tighter, supporting the boy's weight with his own. Farsef's one remaining eye was pooling with tears, a mixture of horror and disgust showing in it. He turned his head to look at Wali, silently pleading for his release. The two stared at each other for a few moments, and I could see Wali gagging in disgust at being so close to a disfigured person. Not that I could blame him for this.

''Still got those vials, Wali?'' my brother called over. He nodded, holding them up for us to see. ''Good. Saria, kiddo, go over and hold Farsef's hands for me.''

''Can I..'' I grabbed his hand in mine, letting my eyes show the excitement, joy and delight I felt, ''can I do it? Freeze his fingers off I mean..''

''Um, kiddo,'' Assef hesitated.

I looked up pleadingly. ''Please? Please, please, _please!_ '' I really wanted to do this. How could I not? I knew Farsef was going to die soon, that this would possibly be the last game we could play with him. In my heart, I wanted to be the one to play that game. After all, it was _I_ who had lost so much at Aarash's hands. It was I who had lost my ability to ever have a family, who had been beaten, molested and abused. Surely my brother would not deny me the chance to get my final vengeance upon the boy who had done this to me.

Assef traced his thumb down the length of my cheek, playing with one of my bloodied curls. ''Well..'' he smiled jovially down at me. ''how about we both do it together? I'll do two fingers on his left hand, you do two fingers on the right. How does that sound, kiddo?''

''Like fun.'' I kissed him on the cheek. ''Thank you.'' Assef took my tiny, gloved hand in his. Who wouldn't adore this relationship we shared? He began to lead me over to Farsef, both of us grinning like mad at the sight before us. Farsef's cries increased in pitch as he saw us approaching, lip quivering, body trembling in fear. Or maybe he only shivered because he was cold. I don't know but I'd like to think it was from fear. His one remaining eye had widened to the point where I was half-afraid it would fall out of its socket.

He began struggling against Wali's iron grip. ''No, no, no!'' he kept repeating, jerking forward in an attempt to get away. He twisted and writhed, screaming in pain as Wali tightened his grip around his sides, and I heard an audible crack as another of his fragile ribs snapped. Farsef's head popped backwards as he moaned, face turning white, body slackening. His breath came in short, erratic gasps. ''Ohhh..'' he croaked out.

I felt slightly panicked upon seeing this, funny though it may be. Shit, what if he died too soon from not being able to breathe properly? That certainly would _not_ be good. I looked up at my brother, pleading silently that he would know what to do. Assef pointed a finger at Wali. ''Don't squeeze so tight.''

Wali nodded, and Assef's words brought another round of sarcastic laughter from Aarash. ''Oh, are you worried about hurting my brother now, you faggot?'' he asked. ''Well, it's a bit fucking late for that now, isn't it?'' Once again he spat in Assef's direction, and once again he was met by Kamal's hand striking the side of his head, causing the worthless boy to cry out in pain and shock.

Assef smirked, drawing me in close to him as we reached Farsef. Together we knelt down so we came face to face with the terrified child. ''I'm not worried about hurting him, per say,'' my brother reached out and stroked Farsef's cheek with the back of his finger, putting a little extra pressure on one of his larger bruises. ''No you see, my sister and I, we don't want your precious Farsef to kick the bucket before we get to play this game with him.''

"Agha.." Wali started, loosening his grip on Farsef and causing the boy to slump forward and collapse against my brother's shoulder. The weight of the impact almost caused my Assef to fall backwards. With a hiss of frustration, he managed to right himself, pushing Farsef backwards, holding him by the shoulders as the boy looked tiredly at him, their gazes locked for a few brief moments.

"Agha?" Wali asked again, pulling Farsef off of my brother and wrapping both arms around his torso in an attempt to keep him from falling again. Farsef, not even having the strength to fight back anymore, simply went limp, tears plopping onto the ground, his tired and wretched body slackening in Wali's arms.

"What is it?" my brother snapped, rolling his eyes. "For goodness sake, we have things to fucking do." Assef glowered at Wali, who looked absolutely petrified. 'Wasting our fucking time, faggot. He needs to be punished..' I thought. Do I even need to say about how much I wanted to get things over and done with? No, thought so!

"Assef.." I started. The look on Assef's face changed from a stern glare to a much more gentle and docile look.

"Yeah, kiddo?" he asked.

I pointed to the vials of nitrogen lying in the snow. "Can we get started please?" I asked in German. "You know this kunis here isn't long for this world.." I cupped my gloved hand under Farsef's chin and leaned in close to his face, noses almost touching, so close I could feel every laboured breath emanating from him. "and this game, it's too much fun for him to fade on us now, right?"

Of course, this was certainly _not_ the whole reason as to why I wanted to finish up quickly. It was dark and I was beginning to shiver from cold. I certainly didn't want to end up getting sick from being out here for so long. There would be _hell_ to pay if I did. Not that we hadn't already raised hell, but I think you know what I mean.

Assef nodded. I think he could read my mind, knew I was anxious to go home. "Alright, kiddo. Can you bring those vials over to me?"

"Sure.." They were in my reach enough that I could simply stretch my arm out and grab them.

"Hold him still," Assef ordered Wali. He willingly obliged, sitting back, legs splayed upon the ground as he held Farsef up. Farsef was like a limp rag doll in Wali's arms, soft sobs racking his entire body as the realisation that he was certainly going to die and that there was nothing anyone here could or would do to save him.

Assef tugged on the stopper of one of the vials. With a slight pop, the vial opened. Liquid nitrogen, I knew, was odourless, a clear liquid that sloshed in the vial as Assef brought it up to Farsef's face. "What do you think of that, Fars?" he teased, laughing as the boy started to babble incoherently, slurring his words, coughing up more blood. "Cat got your tongue?" Assef asked. "Oh well."

My brother took Farsef's tiny left hand in his larger one, wiping away a few remaining slivers of skin. Bits of skin and muscle littered the snow around us, turning the once beautiful, crisp white ground a dark red in colour. Assef held Farsef's index finger, inspecting it carefully. "Why don't we start with this one, hmm?"

"Oh God, oh no!" Farsef sobbed uncontrollably. "Please.. please.. SOMEONE HELP!"

'So the little fucker has found his voice again,' I thought. Assef shoved Farsef's finger into the vial. Farsef tried to pull back, but Assef kept an iron grip on his hand, glaring daggers at him, warning him not to try anything. "Please.. please help me!" I didn't know who he expected to come and save him. Assef and I wouldn't, Wali and Kamal couldn't and as for Aarash? Sure he may have wanted to come to his brother's aid, but obviously could not.

"Oh for fuck's sake, shut up!" I growled, "save your damn breath." I smirked, placing a gloved hand under his chin, "you'll need it for later."

Aarash began screaming again, a torrent of obscenities one after the other, each more vile and degrading than the last. I can't even remember the names he called my brother and I, the things he threatened us with. It didn't matter to me. I was in charge here, I was the one who had full power over his little brother's fate, the one who decided if Farsef lived or died. What would I care about the shit spewing from Aarash's mouth?

''I told you to keep quiet!'' Kamal snarled, sounding so much like my brother in that moment it was remarkable. He cracked Aarash upside the head for what seemed like the five hundredth time, causing him to growl under his breath and spit at Kamal again. Kamal took a step backward, shocked, raising his hand to wipe his face, looking disgusted by how Aarash was treating him. Upon hearing all the commotion, Assef looked up, his eyes narrowing at Aarash.

''Aarash, it would _really_ do you good to listen to him. Don't make a fucking sound or I'll make this ten times more painful for your sweet, precious Fars than it needs to be.'' Assef reached out, poking and prodding at Farsef's bruises and causing the boy to moan and sob in pain. ''Every time you open your fucking mouth, you'll be prolonging Farsef's suffering. So why don't you shut the fuck up, for his sake?''

Aarash grumbled something under his breath, a profanity no doubt, but refused to say anything else. I think he knew it better than to push his luck with my brother. Farsef too, had given up putting up much of a fight, which disappointed me somewhat. Yes, I may have been happy that things were going smoothly for Assef and I, but still.. I wanted a bit of a fight. I wanted Farsef to show me that his life and his brother's life actually meant something to him. But this, I could tell, was not to be the case. And could I honestly place blame on him for that? He put up a good enough fight up until this point, after all.

"Sister," Assef broke me out of my reverie. I looked up at him. "his finger.. it's turning blue. Look." Sure enough, as I fixed my attention on Farsef's hand, I giggled delightedly at what my eyes were showing me. His finger, now peeled down to the bone, had begun to turn a slight blue in colour and was shaking on its own merit. "Think we can pull it out now?" my brother asked.

"Nein. Nein, leave it for a few more minutes. It won't break off so easily if you take it out now."

"You need to show me the book you learned all this from, sis. It might come in handy again one day." Assef and I shared a look. In his blue eyes I could see myself, could see the sadistic grin painting my blood-stained face. Assef pushed a vial of nitrogen into my hand. "Here. Start doing the index finger on his other hand.. okay?"

I nodded, snatching Farsef's right hand up. The child took a sharp intake of breath as my gloved hand squeezed the exposed bone. Aarash opened his mouth as if to retort, but a stern glare from my brother, and another hard slap from Kamal shut him right up again. Good. We could do with any interruptions. Slowly, carefully, I undid the stopper on the vial and gently placed Farsef's finger inside. A cold shiver took over the boy, drool and blood dribbling down his chin. I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

"Hurts.. it.. it .. hurts!" Farsef sobbed, body jerking and twisting as he tried, involuntarily I'm betting, to get away from us.

I shot a look to Wali. "Keep a better fucking hold on him.." I ordered, "and you," I pointed a stiff finger at Farsef, my voice becoming more demanding and harsh, "you fucking behave yourself. I'm growing fucking tired of wasting my damn time on you. Keep quiet and I'll make things easy on you.." I raised my open, gloved palm and struck him across the face. He took a sharp intake of breath, then faced me once again. In his eye, I could see the steely determination and resolve to stay fighting, stay strong all the way to the end.

"Good boy." I twisted his finger this way and that inside the vial, ignoring the groans and sobs emanating from the child. Assef, who had a look of morbid fascination on his face, watched as the finger he was holding began to turn even more of a darker shade of blue, skin cracking, the exposed bone turning white.

Aarash began breathing heavily, his eyes fixed on the terrified look on his brother's face. Kamal, who stood next to him, folded his arms across his chest and glared sternly down at Aarash, daring him to say another word.

"Kamal," my brother called. Kamal turned.

"Caa, agha?"

Assef looked at me. "Hold this, will you?" He thrust the vial he was holding into my hand. Farsef screamed as the movement caused his finger to bend slightly. Assef got to his feet and began to make his way over to Kamal.

'What in the fuck is he doing?' I thought, as Assef slung an arm round Kamal's shoulder. 'We've got shit to do, now isn't the _fucking_ time for a damn chat.' My brother clapped Kamal on the back. "I think you should be getting back now. It's getting dark and you know your mother will fucking lose it with you if you're late home."

"A-agha?" Kamal asked, confused. Assef punched him lightly on the shoulder.

"I'm letting you go home, Ka. No, you know what? I'm not asking you, I'm telling you, get going. I'm not having you get fucking grounded because you were late." Assef rolled his eyes. We both knew that Kamal's mother would have a damn fit if her precious son didn't come home on time. It was fucking ridiculous, really.

"I.." Kamal trailed off. "Agha..."

"Kamal. For fuck's sake. Get going. Now."

Kamal, finally, nodded and began to turn away. Before he could leave, though, Assef reached out and grabbed his wrist. He jabbed a finger in the younger boy's face. "You breathe a fucking word of this to anyone, _anyone_ and you're dead. Do you understand me? This," he gestured to the shivering Farsef, "this stays between us. Am I clear?"

"Yes.. yes, sir. I won't tell anyone."

"Good. Get going." Kamal wordlessly turned from Assef, lumbering through the snow, his shoulders slumped, shivering as he briskly walked away from the clearing. I watched his silhouette getting smaller and smaller, his footprints trailing off into the distance.

Assef came back to sit beside me. He looked at Farsef, who was moaning as his fingers turned even more blue. He coughed up more blood, which sprayed the front of my dress. Oh well. As if it wasn't in shit already. Wali shifted slightly as he held the boy's waist, stopping him from keeling over on top of me.

Assef put a hand on my shoulder. "Kiddo," he said, "he doesn't look like he's going to last much longer. I mean, look at him." My brother stroked Farsef's cheek, running his nails across the boy's lacerations. His brow furrowed. "Hmm."

"What?" My brother was acting.. strange, yet again. He began to pace around us, hands clasped behind his back, muttering something to himself. I looked up at him. "Brother? What is it? What's wrong?"

He ignored me, giving a pointed look to Aarash, who was once more writhing against his ropes, lips flecked, snarling under his breath like a wild animal that needed to be put down. "I've just realised, sister," he started, looking back and forth between Aarash, Farsef and I, "that we'll need to dispose of this one soon." He gave a pointed stare to Farsef, who bowed his head and let out a gargled sob.

"Dispose?" I was slightly confused.

Assef smirked. "Dispose of the evidence, sister. And, well.. I don't think he's going to hold out much longer, do you?"

"And how do you propose we 'get rid of him?'" I was now completely ignoring Farsef's broken sobs, ignoring Aarash's muttered swearing. Assef held a hand up in front of him,

"Wait one minute. I've already thought ahead, kiddo." Assef began to walk towards Aarash. "You," he said, "haven't been much of a help to us today, have you?" He put a hand against the gnarled bark of the tree, leaning in close so that he and Aarash were almost nose to nose.

'He better not be trying to kiss him again,' I grumbled to myself. Aarash must have had the same thoughts I did. He pulled as far back from Assef as he could, turning his head and pointedly ignoring my brother. Assef reached out and cupped Aarash's chin, bringing it back to face him.

"I have decided," he declared as he began to walk behind the tree. "That I'm going to allow you join in on the fun, too. In fact, you get to help us dispose of that worthless piece of shit you call a brother." I sat up straighter, eyes bright, my interest peaked. Assef reappeared from behind the tree. In his hand, he held a large shovel which I instantly recognised as being one Papa used for his gardening back when Assef and I were younger. I felt the corners of my lips curl upward, realising exactly what it was that my brother had planned for dear 'Fars'.

Assef tossed the shovel on the ground, just a few feet away as he once again moved behind the tree. I could just make him out, kneeling down, fumbling with the ropes binding Aarash to the tree.

Immediately, I felt myself tense up, almost becoming rigid. My hand shook, the glass vial in my hand slipped but I thankfully caught it in time. I bit down on my tongue to keep from screaming out in fear and frustration. What the fuck was Assef thinking? Letting Aarash go? Had he lost his damn mind? A cold shiver ran through my entire body.

'What if he comes over here? What if he tries to hurt me? What if..?' I could not stop the terrible, horrifying thoughts that were running through my mind. After what Aarash had threatened to do to me earlier, could I be blamed for feeling so afraid?

''Assef?' I absolutely _loathed_ how small and terrified my voice sounded. ''Assef.. I...'' I, what? What was I going to say? 'I don't want you to untie him?' 'I don't want him to come and hurt me?' Even I wasn't so sure as to what exactly I wanted him to do.

''Yeah, kiddo? What is it?''

''I...'' I trailed off. Aarash and I locked eyes for a moment, our gaze holding, the shame and misery the boy was feeling becoming more and more apparent. Assef stopped his untying and got up, slowly beginning to make his way back to me.

''Saria? You okay?'' I barely heard him as I had focused all my attention on Aarash. His head rested against his chest, tear tracks covering his face. He sighed dejectedly, now very loosely bound to that tree. His gaze travelled back and forth, first to Assef, who was looking at me in concern and then to his little brother, who was shivering and crying softly. I came to the relisation that Aarash wouldn't, no, _couldn't_ do anything to me right now.

''Saria!'' Assef called again, more urgently this time. I shook my head, clearing the negative thoughts from my psyche. At least for now.

''It's nothing,'' I turned back to Farsef. ''Nothing at all. Sorry. Go back to-'' I waved my hand at the ropes holding Aarash captive. I knew my brother had planned this whole thing out. Assef raised an eyebrow.

''Well, if you're sure..''

''Caa. I'm sure.''

''Okay then.'' Assef didn't sound too convinced, but he turned, walked behind the tree again and went back to untying Aarash.

A low groan, courtesy of Farsef, brought my focus back to the task in front of me. I reached out and stroked the boy's cheek in faux gentleness. ''My apologies, Farsef jan. Shall we continue?'' I had to laugh at the way he gave an involuntary jerk of the head, at how he began trying to mouth the word 'no' at me.

I gave a sharp glance to Wali. ''Hold his hands steady for me.'' Wali nodded obediently, his grimy nails locking firmly around Farsef's bloodied wrists. From what I could make out, Assef was still undoing Aarash's bindings. The shovel lay forgotten a few feet away in the snow. ''Now,'' I could barely hold back my laughter, ''how are your fingers, Farsef? They look a little, how do I put this, _cold?''_

I inspected the index finger on his left hand. It had been in the nitrogen the longest, about ten to twelve minutes from what I could gather. And God did it look disgusting! The skin was cracked, peeling right to the bone in some places, muscles exposed and open, a blue tinge painting the little bit of skin that he had left.

''Hmm.'' I slowly began to pull his finger free of the vial. ''Think we're ready now, Fars?'' His answering shriek of terror was almost comical to me.

''P-pl-please..'' his voice was barely audible. He tried to pull back but Wali's grip around his waist was too strong. ''No..''

''Oh, shut the fuck up! You know begging won't fucking help you.'' I flecked my lips in rage, then gave another look over to Assef. He had finished untying Aarash and was now walking back around to the front of the tree. ''Assef, Assef look!'' I called, sounding and feeling as excited as a child on Eid.

''What is it, sister?''

I held up Farsef's hand. ''Let's play.'' With this, I bent his finger back, Farsef screams and my laughter getting higher in pitch as the bone started to crack.

''OHHH!'' Farsef arched his back and screamed, gagging and retching as his index finger snapped clean off. I gasped, then started laughing loudly, like someone who's lost their mind. It reminded me so much of the icicles that would hang from the car, of how easy it was to break those off. Oh how wonderful it felt to have this level of power over someone, especially someone as pathetic and weak as Farsef.

I held the finger up in front of me, waving it right in front of the whimpering boy's eyes. ''Can't be.. happening.. This is a d-dream.. just a dream!'' he repeated over and over. He desperately wanted to convince himself that this dreadful day had not been a part of reality.

Glancing over at Aarash, I saw his eyes had widened in total shock at what I'd just done to his dear brother. 'Bet you wish you hadn't fucked with us now, don't you?' I thought with a sneer in his direction. ''Look, Assef!'' I held the finger up, wiggling it in my brother's direction, tears of laughter streaming their way down my cheeks.

Assef raised an eyebrow. ''That's great, kiddo. Really great.'' He didn't sound too interested, though. Pity. He was missing out on a _lot_ of fun. Assef knelt down in the snow in front of Aarash, tugging the ropes from around his waist. I certainly did _not_ like how close their bodies were, again.

Assef pointed to the shovel, then jabbed his finger in Aarash's face. ''You. Get the fuck up and start digging.''

''Digging?'' Aarash looked up at my brother. ''What the fuck are you-'' his eyes widened, almost to the size of two dinner plates, as he looked at his brother, then back to the sly grin on Assef's face. ''Oh no. Oh _no_ , you sick fuck! You can't ask me to do this! To _bury_ my own _brother?''_

''You're right,'' Assef said, with a stern look at Aarash. ''I'm not asking you. I'm _telling_ you. Get your fucking ass over and start digging. Now!''

Slowly, meticulously, Aarash struggled to his feet. He looked as though he weighed a thousand tonnes as he lumbered through the snow. I watched him bend down to pick up the shovel, grunting under its weight. I suppose when you've been tied to a fucking tree for hours, it can make you tired. Still, I was rather annoyed that Aarash was taking so fucking long.

And apparently, so was my brother, if the look on his face was anything to go by. ''Oh for fuck's sake, Aarash!'' He grabbed the older boy by the arm, his nails digging into skin, dragging him across the snow. Aarash, weak from being tied up, almost collapsed to his knees. In fact, he would have done so if Assef hadn't been holding him up.

''Fucking ridiculous,'' Assef snarled. He pointed to an area of snow, just a few feet away from me. ''There. Start digging. Your brother won't be alive for long and we want him in the hole before then.''

Aarash gave a sharp intake of breath upon hearing that we planned to bury Farsef alive. I let out a delighted, strangled giggle, feeling my heart beat faster, my cheeks flush red. Farsef, who up until this point had been relatively quiet, despite the soft whimpers of pain, started to cry loudly. ''Oh no! No, please, please don't!'' he babbled pathetically. He gripped my hands, looking up at me with beseeching eyes.

''Sar.. Sari..'' he was too weak to even make out my name.

''Yes, Fars?'' I said in a voice that dripped with honeyed sarcasm. ''Something you'd like to say?'' I twisted the index finger on his right hand, which had begun to crack within its vial of nitrogen. I raised an eyebrow. ''Come on now, don't be shy.''

Farsef stared at his finger in horror, hardly able to believe that it was no longer attached to his hand. He looked at it, then back to me, shocked, horrified that this whole thing was real. He looked grotesque. I've never in my life seen a more battered, bruised or broken person. How disgusting it was to see his mangled body, the spot where I had flayed him, castrated him.

'He deserves it,' I convinced myself. With the way Farsef was looking now, it would be best for him to die. Disfigured people such as him, Masood and Fahrsan have no place in the world, no place in the pure, Pashtun society that my brother and I dreamed of creating. It would be best, for Farsef and everyone else, that this was to be his last day on Earth. I was weeding out the trash, it was as simple as that.

The sound of the shovel hitting against the ice broke my thoughts, and I looked to see the source of the noise. Aarash's forehead was beaded with sweat, his teeth gritted in exasperation. He leaned one arm on the shovel, the other clenched into a right fist. ''Hurry up!'' my brother was getting impatient. He kicked at the ground angrily. ''Hurry up and get to fucking digging.''

''Assef..'' I started. I didn't want Assef to get too frustrated or upset. This would serve us no benefit. Assef was glowering at Aarash, scrutinising his every move. ''Assef..'' I made to get up, but Assef held a hand up, freezing me in place.

''It's okay, sister. Let me handle it. You and Farsef have your fun.'' Fun? Yes, we were having a lot of fun, alright. Not that Farsef or Aarash would agree, ha!

''Alright, brother.'' I turned my attention back to Farsef. I began poking and prodding at the gaping wound that I had created. My ears were met with a frenzied high pitched shriek, then a low guttural moan of pain. I laughed, brushing a blood-stained ringlet from my hair and jabbed my nail deeper into the wound. The boy writhed, jerking and twisting in a futile attempt to get away. Wali strained against Farsef's weight, as he tried to keep the boy from falling over. Farsef, either accidentally or on purpose, I'm not sure, jabbed his bony elbow back, hit Wali in the stomach and caused the filthy dog's grip on him to slacken.

''Don't fucking move.'' I reached out, my hand grabbing for Farsef before he could wriggle his way free. ''Just keep the fuck still, I'm nearly done.'' Farsef looked at me with a tear-filled eye, the cauterised laceration on his face beginning to split wide open once again as he cried out for mercy and relief. ''Shut up or I'll fucking muzzle you!'' I barked. He was distracting me from the very important task at hand.

''He's not causing you too much trouble, kiddo?'' Assef asked over his shoulder, watching intently as Aarash struggled to dig his brother's grave. Assef folded his thick arms across his chest, staring coldly down at Aarash, who grunted with strain each time he pushed the shovel into the ground. He could barely stand on his own power. His knees began to shake, his knuckles white as he gripped the handle of the shovel, looking at his crying brother with a mixture of remorse and empathy.

Suddenly, his knees collapsed out from under him. Being tied up for hours on end obviously was taking its toll. The shovel clattered noisily to the ground as Aarash fell to his knees, doubled over on all fours, tears pooling over in his eyes, body wracked with sobs. He slammed his open palms down on the ground in sorrow and frustration, retching and gagging as he cried desperately.

''Fuck sake,'' Assef hissed through his teeth. He pointed sharply to Aarash. ''Get up. Keep digging.'' Aarash could barely move. Tears coated his face, he shivered with both cold from the frigid winter weather, and the force of his own broken sobbing.

''I can't do this.. I c-can't..'' he looked at Farsef, who was silently whimpering as I played with the vial of nitrogen in my hand. Aarash looked up at my brother pleadingly. ''You can't ask me to do this, Assef. To bury my own flesh and blood?'' he gave a bitter cry, angrily punching the ground in front of him. ''How can y-you expect that of me?''

Assef bared his teeth, looking more like a wild animal than a seventeen-year-old boy. ''It's not up for debate, Aarash. Get the fuck up and keep digging. The longer you delay the more we torture Farsef. Is that what you want? Would you rather your brother suffer because you can't get off your damn ass?'' My brother snatched Aarash up by the elbow, hauling the sobbing piece of shit to his feet. Aarash's knees buckled once again. He almost brought Assef down to the ground with him.

I rose, impatience growing, wanting to just get this whole thing done with. ''Assef..'' I started to make my way over there. How dare Aarash refuse an order? How dare he waste my time, _our_ time? Aarash was really trying my fucking patience. And trying Assef's too it seemed.

''Go sit down, Sar. I can handle it.'' My brother pulled on Aarash's arm again, yanking the tired, desolate boy to his feet. Aarash wiped at his eyes, smearing dirt, snow and grime across his face.

''I can't.. I can't..'' Aarash croaked. Farsef, who had been watching the whole scene as it unfolded, gasped in shock as my brother brought his fist down on the side of Aarash's head, almost knocking the boy over once again.

''A-'' Farsef started, then fell silent. He looked piteously at his older brother,his eyes flickering back and forth between the shovel lying forgotten on the ground, to the pained looked on Aarash's face. The remorse, the pain, the loss shared by both brother's, it was as plain as day. I, Saria Ahmed, had caused all this misery. Had broken these two pathetic young boys, crushed their spirits under my feet like common bugs. Yes, it felt good. Euphoric to know the lengths of what I was truly capable of.

But there was still a lot that needed to be done. I looked up to the sky, which was now turning dark, the crescent moon and stars being the only light that shone down on us. Another shiver ran up the base of my spine. ''Farsef,'' I said coldly, ''look at me.''

The boy turned, his hands once again quivering in mine. I looked at the finger encased in the vial of nitrogen. It looked disgusting; a dark shade of purple and blue, wrinkled skin cracking, literally dangling off by a thread of sinew. 'Gross,' I thought, pulling a disgusted face at the gruesome sight. I looked over to see what my brother was doing.

Aarash, still quaking violently with each sob, grasped the handle of the shovel, grunting and straining as he pulled himself to his feet. With my brother's eagle eyes watching him, he began to dig again, tossing snow off to the side into a heap. He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand, as more tears came and obstructed his vision.

''Assef jan,'' I could hear the joy in my own voice. I wanted to share in the moment with him. ''Assef, come here. Come and watch this.''

Assef looked at me, grinning sadistically. ''You're breaking another finger off, kiddo?'' he asked, making his way to my side. ''Keep digging!'' he barked at Aarash, who nodded once and continued to dig. Good. He was learning to obey orders after all. Assef knelt down next to me. He squeezed my shoulder as I leaned my head against his for a brief moment. ''Fantastic work, kiddo,'' he complimented, looking at the gaping wound where Farsef's finger should have been.

I felt my cheeks flush red. ''Thank you. Give me a few more minutes and I'll do the other two fingers, okay?''

Assef looked at Farsef. He pulled the boy's hair back and scrutinised him, poking and prodding at the dozens upon dozens of wounds. Then he shook his head. ''No,'' he said, more to himself than to me. ''No, that won't work. It'll take too much time for his fingers to break off..'' he glanced over at Aarash, who, to his credit, seemed to be making more progress with the grave digging. Of course, snow is fucking hard to dig and Aarash's constant stream of tears were hindering his performance quite a bit, but he _was_ making good progress.

I looked up at my brother, still holding Farsef's hand. ''What do you mean? What about those other vials?'' I picked them up and held them out to my brother. He didn't answer, his focus completely on the gargling, choking boy hanging limply in Wali's arms. Assef looked.. concerned, if that's the right word. Almost worried for Farsef.

''Assef?'' I waved the vials in front of him, wanting to get an answer as to what I should do. The only sounds were those of Farsef's heavy breathing, and the shovel hitting against the ice. ''Assef! What do you want me to _do_?'' My voice sounded a lot harsher than I intended it to. I felt guilty; I never liked snapping at my brother. It made me feel like a piece of shit for doing so. ''Sorry,'' I said hurriedly, as he looked at me. ''I just.. what do you want to do? We need to finish things up.''

Assef nodded. ''Sar.. we can't afford to wait the fifteen minutes it'll take to break his other fingers off. Just do that one. Okay?'' He leaned over to kiss my forehead as he got back on his feet.

''You don't want to watch?'' I was surprised at how.. innocent the question sounded. Almost as if I were simply a child pleading for attention, for praise on what I had accomplished. It certainly didn't sound as though I were a soon-to-be three time killer. Not in the slightest. Assef stopped and turned back to me. I think he was just as surprised by my innocent tone as I.

''No.. um, uh..'' he cleared his throat. ''Ah. No, Saria. That's alright, I'll pass thanks. I need to.. you know, keep an eye on this one.'' He inclined his head towards Aarash, who was still shovelling ice, snow and dirt, his forehead and arms beaded with sweat. The work was really taking its toll on him, not that either my brother or I cared.

''Okay.'' I knew I must have sounded disappointed, but I couldn't really help it. I wanted my brother to stay and join in my game, damn it. Assef leaned over to give me another kiss.

''Have fun, sister, but be quick about it. We need to be finishing up soon." I nodded, watching as my brother meandered his way through the slush back to Aarash. My brother leaned casually against the tree Aarash had once been tied to, folding his arms, watching closely as he continued to dig. Farsef stared at his brother, snivelling pathetically. His eyes followed Aarash as he moved back and forth, panting, shovelling snow as he went. Aarash brought his arm up to his forehead, wiping away the beads of sweat that were saturating his forehead.

His knees buckled once again, the stress of everything I think was getting to him again. His knuckles turned a pasty white in colour as he grabbed at the shovel's handle for support, hissing through his teeth as he righted himself. "Fuck.."

"Just get on with it, Aarash," Assef sounded impatient, though not too pissed off. His temper seemed to have mitigated, though I knew better than anyone how quickly my brother's rage could turn on a dime. I cleared my throat. Right. Let's get this shit done.

A frightened, perturbed look covered Farsef's features as I brought my attention to him. Wali's grip on his body had loosened, not that Farsef had any strength left to fight back. In all honesty, I'm amazed that he held out for this long. It was truly admirable to see how much fight the boy had within him. To see the boundless courage and strength he had, the want to stay alive, not just for his sake but for his brother's too.

But there was no time to ruminate over how 'proud' I was of my victim's courage. I looked down at the finger I was holding, which had almost fallen clean off. It was ghastly, it really was. I was more than happy that Adia wasn't here to see any of this. She would be fucked up enough.

'I'm such a horrendous excuse for a friend and sister,' I lamented morosely. I shook the thoughts from my psyche as I brought my focus around to Farsef. No, I would not think like that, I could _not_ afford to! "Does your finger hurt?" I asked with a mixture of false-concern and mirth.

"Ohhh.." he whined, head lolling as limp as a noodle on Wali's chest. I could sense Assef's gaze on me, urging me to finish working. Aarash, from what I could see, had already begun to finish his. We _needed_ to get Farsef into his grave and we needed to do it _soon._

"This is going to hurt," I could hear the laughter in my own voice as I completed the final act of torture. Farsef's back arched, a shudder wracking his entire body, his eye rolling back into his head as my nails wrenched his finger off his hand. I tossed the severed appendage aside, congratulating myself on a job well done. Farsef, weakened from all the pain the day had brought upon him, fell sideways into a pool of blood, eyelids flickering, bemoaning his pitiful fate. From my peripheral, I could just about make out Aarash tossing the shovel away, his knees buckling underneath him as he fell to the ground. He was lucky he didn't fall into the damn grave he'd just fucking dug.

Aarash hugged his arms round himself, body trembling with each morose, pain-filled cry that escaped his lips. He looked at the grave, staring at the hole for what seemed like an eternity. Was he imagining Farsef in there? Imagining the little brother he had grown up with, loved, cared for, now destined to be nothing more than worm food in the dirt?

His lip quivered, breaths short and sharp. Tears fell from his eyes and into the grave. What would it feel like, I wondered, to look at a hole in the dirt and to know your loved one was soon to be laying in it. To know it was your actions, your stupidity, that had caused their pain, their suffering, their death. It was a feeling I hoped to never experience.

Farsef's breathing became more tense. It was a huge struggle for him to take in even the slightest bit of air. His head rested on Wali's knees, Wali's fingers absently stroking the dying boy's hair. I felt... well, I actually didn't know how I felt at that moment. Sure, I should have been happy. I should have dancing for joy, in fact. The day was nearly over _and_ we had gotten the vengeance we so desperately craved upon Aarash. We had crushed his brother under our feet like a worthless ant. Normally, I would have been elated, but right now all I could feel was a hollow emptiness.

I looked at Farsef again. Without even thinking, I reached out, just as I had done when my brother burned him, and pulled him into my arms. I rocked him gently, just like Assef would do for me whenever I got scared or hurt. His head rested against my chest, my quickening heartbeat being the only sound in the clearing, save for Aarash's cries, of course.

'I shouldn't be doing this,' I thought, looking down at the boy cradled in my arms. 'I am Farsef's killer. I am the person who caused him all this suffering, all this pain. I am the one who will be putting him into his grave, soon. What right do I have to comfort him? That,' I looked to Aarash, 'that is his job.'

''Farsef.'' I was taken aback by how calm my voice sounded. I leaned down to whisper in the boy's ear. ''Farsef jan, I..'' I stopped myself. What was I going to say? I'm sorry? No, I wasn't, not really. The boy needed to die, his brother needed to suffer so that I could be happy. So that my sweet little Adia could be safe. Yet I still can't quite shake the feeling of guilt that has wormed its way into my otherwise cold soul. ''Farsef,'' I said again, ''your brother..'' I trailed off, words failing me once more.

For the first time, I began to regret the fact that we had told Farsef what Aarash had done to me. If, God forbid, Assef or I were ever in this position, we would need to hold one another before the end.

I looked at my brother. My best friend. My only true companion. My everything. Who was I to deny Farsef the chance to have some closure? To be held one last time by his brother before death would wrap him in her cold embrace? No, the world may call me a monster but even I am not as cold as that.

In an instant, I had made my decision. I steeled myself, my voice firm as I spoke. ''Farsef,'' I said again. He looked at me. ''I'm going to untie you, Farsef. And when I do, I'll let you and Aarash say goodbye to one another before.. Well, before..'' I couldn't even bring myself to say the words; they were stuck, leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

I gave a nod to Wali. ''Pick up those vials.'' As he got to his feet, I shifted Farsef gently so that he was lying in the snow and took a deep breath. My hands trembled, either from fear or cold I do not know, as I began to undo the ropes that had been tying his wrists and ankles. They were tight, tighter than I had ever thought they could be, and I could feel myself struggling to loosen the knots.

Assef was at my side in an instant, fingers digging into my shoulder, forcing me to turn and look up at him. He looked confused. Confused and pissed. ''Saria, what are you doing?'' His voice was cold. I reached out, taking his hand in mine. He pulled away and my heart constricted. No. No, I would _not_ argue with him over this. I needed my big brother on my side, now more than ever.

''I'm going to let them say goodbye to each other. Before.. you know, before we end this.''

''Why?''

I hesitated. Why indeed. Why was I letting them have closure? Surely after all Aarash had done, he deserved far less than that. My brother's eyes met mine. The anger had disappeared, leaving behind only confusion. ''Because.. because they need closure. They need to say goodbye.''

'And because you would want that if it were me,' I thought, but didn't say it. Assef knew why. Of course he did. We weren't monsters, nor were we evil. There was still some level of empathy within both of us, no matter what we did. Without a word, Assef knelt on the snow beside me, his expression softening as he pulled me into an embrace.

''I understand,'' he said, and those two words were all I needed to hear. He leaned his head against mine, wiping tears that I didn't even realise had left my eyes. ''I love you, kiddo.''

''And I you,'' I replied. Assef kissed my forehead.

''I'll help you untie him,'' he said, pulling at the ropes around Farsef's ankles, making the boy cry out in pain as they brushed up against the exposed bone I had shattered earlier with the hammer. Finally, after a few moments pulling and hauling, it was done. Farsef lay still, completely free from the ropes that had been holding him for so long. Criss-crossed burns marked his wrists and ankles, there was hardly a patch of skin left that wasn't bruised, bloodied or burned.

I looked at Farsef, my fingers gently stroking his cheek, my gaze changed from cold and indifferent to gentle and comforting. ''We'll take you to Aarash now. You can have some time together, to say your goodbyes.'' I grabbed the boy under the arm, then gestured for Assef to do the same.

''T-thank... t-thank you,'' the boy rasped. Assef nodded, it was the closest he had come to acknowledging Farsef on the matter. Together, we began to drag the boy through the snow. He was heavier than I expected him to be and being that I weighed only eighty pounds or so at the time, it made bringing him over to Aarash a chore. Luckily, I had Assef to help me which made the task a lot easier.

Farsef was limp as we brought him to Aarash. By rights, he should have been kicking and screaming, should have been thrashing, fighting to get away. After all, once he was done saying goodbye to Aarash, we were going to be throwing him in a shallow grave and burying him alive. But now, now there was no fight left within him. My brother and I, we had taken this boy's light, his life and had all but drained it from him.

'He deserves it,' I inwardly reasoned. 'After all Aarash did, this was the least he and Farsef deserved.'

Aarash looked up as we neared him, choking back sobs, the guilt emanating off of him. My brother and I placed Farsef's limp form at his side. "You have five minutes," Assef said, coldly. A bit too coldly, for my liking. He stepped back and gestured for me to do the same. We would give them their privacy.

Aarash and Farsef stared at each other, the hurt and mistrust lingering in the air. "Farsef.. I.." Aarash started, his voice broken between his sobs. He reached a tentative hand out to his little brother, who stared at it with a mixture of misery and awe. "Brother, please. I-I'm sorry."

"Aarash.." Farsef croaked, inching his pain-filled body closer to his brother. He held his arms out to Aarash, like a child wanting to be comforted. A breath hitched in my chest, this was the exact same way I had so often acted whenever I was scared and wanted my brother to hold me. As if on impulse, my arms found themselves round Assef's waist. He held me close, kissing my forehead as we watched the bitter reunion unfold.

"Brother.." both boys cried in unison as they hugged onto each other. Gingerly, so as not to hurt him any further, Aarash pulled Farsef into his arms, cradling him as lovingly as a parent does an injured child, his tears soaking Farsef's blood-stained hair.

"I'm sorry, Farsef.." Aarash whispered, stroking his hair and back. Farsef hissed in pain, each movement was agony for him. Aarash made gentle hushing noises, rocking his brother back and forth. He didn't look or sound like the monster who had beaten me viciously all those months ago.

This was not the boy who assaulted me, not the boy who had taken away my chance to ever be a mother. Not the boy who haunted my nightmares each night. For the first time, I think I saw the humanity within Aarash. Assef, sensing I was becoming emotional, drew me in closer to him. "Kiddo," he whispered in German, "it's alright. This will all be over soon." He knew how much this day had been taxing on me as a whole. I rested my head against his chest, just watching the sorrowful goodbye taking place.

"My fault, this is all my fault," Aarash croaked, his hands trembling around Farsef's waist. "I shouldn't have.. s-shouldn't have gone after.. A-Assef.. If I hadn't.." he trailed off, pressing his lips to Farsef's forehead once more. "Then none of this would have happened and you.. you wouldn't be here, wouldn't be.. dy.. dyi.." he could hardly bring himself to say the word.

Farsef reached up to stroke his brother's face, forgiveness evident in his eye. "Aarash jan.." he hesitated, his voice weak, broken between his strangled, laboured breaths. "I don't wanna fight anymore.. no, n-not now." He sounded so tiny, so frail. He coughed, the action sending a shudder through his body. "I don't.. understand.." he looked into Aarash's eyes, "don't understand why you did the things you did, but you're still my brother and you always will be.. even if... even if I'm not here."

At these words, Aarash burst into fresh sobs, continuing to rock his brother in his arms. "You always were so much better than I," he whispered into Farsef's ear. "I never meant for this to happen, Farsef. Never meant for things to get this far. If I could go back and change it, I would."

''I know you would, Aarash.. but.. there's nothing either of us can do to change things. We can't go back in time, that's not possible. But I want you to know that I love you, I always will. Nothing you could ever s-say or d-do will ever take that love away. You were..'' he corrected himself, ''you _are_ my brother and no matter what happens, we'll always be a family.''

His words only served to make Aarash cry harder. I tightened my grip around Assef's waist, he stroked my hair in reassurance. I clenched at the fabric of Assef's shirt, feeling myself tremble as I watched Aarash and Farsef cling to each other, cling desperately to the only lifelines they had in this world.

Farsef rested his head on Aarash's shoulder, staring absently into the distance. His breathing became shorter, more laboured as Aarash gently ran his fingers through his hair. The brothers were silent for a few moments, no words needing to be spoken, just content with staying in the moment. I watched them, not knowing what to do, not knowing what to say.

After a few moments, Farsef weakly turned his head to look up at his brother. ''Aarash?'' his voice was so small, so frail I barely heard it.

''Yeah, Farsef?'' Aarash gently stroked his brother's cheek, taking care not to upset any of the cuts, burns and bruises on his face.

''Can...'' Farsef started. He hesitated. His body was almost limp by this point. Farsef coughed, more blood trickling out and covering the front of his chest. ''Can I ask a favour of you?''

''Anything.''

''Can you..'' Farsef's voice was becoming progressively weaker. I could tell he was not long for this world. ''C-can you call me Fars again? Please? I want to hear you say it one last time.''

Aarash took a sharp intake of breath, clutching Farsef tighter, his tears soaking the boy's hair. Neither of them said anything, Farsef's chest rising and falling slowly, Aarash's hands trembling as they clung to Farsef's limp body. "I.." Aarash sniffed. "Y-yeah.. Fars.." he broke out into more sobs, heartbroken with the bittersweet realisation this would be the last time he could ever call his brother by his precious nickname. Aarash pressed another kiss to the side of Farsef's head. "I love you, Fars."

"I.." Farsef wheezed. He rested his head against Aarash's chest. "I.. love you too, brother. And I.. always, _always_ will," he emphasised, struggling to speak, as if every word were causing him extreme pain.

"Assef?" I looked up at my brother, who was watching the bittersweet moment, an unreadable expression on his face. I hugged him tighter, breathing in the scent of blood and sweat, feeling the blood that was soaking his shirt begin to seep into my dress and hair. Oh well. Not like we weren't going to be cleaning up once we got home.

"This will all be over soon, kiddo," my brother whispered in German, stroking the back of my head, his soothing accent providing a little comfort in what was proving to be quite an upsetting moment for me. I know, I shouldn't have cared about either Farsef or Aarash. _Especially_ not Aarash. And, in a way, I didn't. They were both getting exactly what they deserved for hurting me, for hurting Adia and for hurting Assef. Farsef had to die, of that there was no doubt.

But I couldn't shake the feeling in the pit of my stomach. I turned away, fearing I might sick up if I looked at Farsef and Aarash any longer. Watching them cling to each other, watching them sob out words of forgiveness and goodbye, I could no longer see my mortal enemies, no longer see the worthless fuckheads who had ruined my life. No, all I could see now were two broken, hurting brothers, all I could hear were the same words of love and affection that my Assef would so often use to soothe me.

I could bear it no longer, biting my fist to stop from crying out. Aarash looked at me. Normally I would have expected him to make some smart ass remark, to mock me for being upset, but instead there was only a mutual understanding between us. In his brown eyes, now filled with fresh tears, I could see the remorse he so obviously felt. I think he realised just how much pain and misery his foolish actions had caused, how much the desire for vengeance had cost him.

Farsef spoke up again, weaker this time than he had ever been. "Aarash?"

"Yes, Fars?" Aarash held the boy closer.

"P-promise me something?" Farsef asked in a tiny voice. I came to the realisation that this was to be the last request he would ever make of his brother. These would be the last words he ever spoke to him, ever spoke to anyone. I pulled back from Assef, taking a tentative step forward, wanting to hear what the dying child would say.

"Anything.. anything for you, Fars," Aarash whispered again.

Farsef looked up at him, his one remaining eye showing love and forgiveness for his brother. I could see the small bit of trust he had left, a trust that now he could never rebuild. It was like a shattered mirror, pieces that could never be glued together. "Promise me.." Farsef looked straight at me, a strange, unreadable expression on his pasty-white face. "that after... this.. this is over, after I'm with G-God.. that you won't..." he reached up, and tenderly cupped the side of Aarash's tear covered face. "you won't try to go after Saria and Assef for what they did."

I was frozen. I could hardly believe the words coming out of Farsef's mouth. Of all the things he could have asked for, of all the last requests he could have had for his brother, he chose to use his last words to protect my brother and I. Assef looked about as shocked as I felt. Why would Farsef try to protect us? I would think after all we had done that this would be the very _last_ thing on his mind.

Aarash could barely find the right words. His eyes darted back and forth between mine and Assef's stunned expressions, to the determined look in his brother's eye. "Fars.." he was cut off by Farsef placing a finger to his lips.

"Just promise me this. One last f-favour I'm asking of you, as my brother, my best friend. Promise me you won't hurt Saria anymore. That you won't h-hurt anyone anymore. I don't w-want my big brother to be.. to hurt people. Please, I just want you to be happy. Just want you to stay safe. Promise me, promise you won't go after Saria and Assef. Promise me this!"

Aarash nodded, looking at my brother and I with a steely resolve in his eyes. "I promise, Fars. You have my word as your brother."

"Tashakor, brother. I love you." Farsef gave a huge shudder, his eye rolling back into his head as he went limp. We all watched, not saying a word, as the life went out of him, the light leaving his eye, his hand limply falling to the snow.

In that moment, after hours of torture, hours of fear, pain and misery, cradled in his brother's arms, Farsef died.

"I love you, Fars," Aarash kissed his brother's forehead, sobbing uncontrollably, his hands stroking Farsef's hair, his face, whispering comforting words into his ear. Words that Farsef could now never hear.

Assef left my side and began to walk towards Aarash. I tensed up, wondering what Assef would do. There was no need for violence, not today. Not anymore. "Brother," I started but Assef held up a hand to silence me.

"Calm," he said as he reached Aarash's side. To this day, I don't know whether he was talking to me or the boy sobbing into his dead brother's hair. He knelt down beside Aarash, placing a hand on his shoulder. Aarash turned and looked up at him, wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

"Come on," Assef said in an almost gentle voice. He pointed to the grave, then to Farsef. "You've had your goodbye, it's time to bury him now."

Aarash looked up in shock, clinging desperately to Farsef's lifeless body. "I.. can't.. I can't bury him.. no.."

"Aarash," someone said in a comforting tone of voice. It took me a few moments to realise that I was the one who had spoken. I was so used to being cruel and vindictive when it came to Aarash. I didn't even realise I had it in me to be this gentle with the boy. "It's over now. There's nothing you can do for him. He's gone."

My brother pulled Aarash to his feet. "She's right. No point crying about it now. You have work to do."

Aarash sniffed, then allowed my brother to pull him up. Assef grabbed Farsef under the arms, beginning to drag the body towards its shallow grave. Aarash, who had been standing still this whole time, as though frozen in place, hurried to my brother's side. "Let me..." he looked down at his dead brother, "give him to me."

I made my way to the grave, watching, awed, as Aarash picked up the body carefully into his arms. He gently lowered the dead boy into the grave, which couldn't have been more than three feet deep. Kneeling at the graveside, he pressed a final kiss to Farsef's cold, pale face. "Sleep well, little brother."

Aarash exhaled as he stood up, picking up the shovel and beginning to cover the body with piles of snow. No words were spoken between any of us. I stood, numb, unable to do anything but just watch. As Aarash shovelled more snow onto Farsef's body, I could feel the hot tears begin to slide down my face.

I looked down at the twelve-year-old boy, lying limp and bloodied in his grave, his body mangled beyond recognition. My eyes travelled back and forth between Farsef, who I had just murdered, to Aarash, robbed of a brother, now forced to bury a family member he had obviously loved so dearly. As I continued to stare blankly into the grave, my mind was suddenly filled with a horrible mental image.

In that moment, instead of Farsef lying in the grave, it was me I was seeing. My body mangled and broken, my eyes glassy and lifeless. Instead of Aarash burying Farsef, I saw Assef burying me.

I covered my mouth with my hands as I felt my legs buckle. Assef was at my side in an instant, pulling me into his arms, cradling me like a parent does a child, my head resting against his chest as he clutched me, rubbing soft circles into my back. "Kiddo," he breathed, "shh now, it's okay." I could feel myself quake and shiver.

What if that had been me? What if Aarash had gone so far as to kill me when he'd beaten me all those months ago? What if Assef was the one putting me in my grave?

"It's okay, kiddo," Assef repeated. I felt my heart beat faster, tears falling one by one from my eyes. Assef lovingly wiped each one away with his sleeve. "Come on, Sar. Dry those tears, little sister."

I tried to calm myself. 'Come on, Saria,' I chastised myself, 'you don't have _anything_ to worry about, stop this pathetic crying.'

Aarash had obviously heard my sobs, but didn't say anything about it. He was too busy concentrating on Farsef to even care what I was doing. The burial was taking it's toll, lifting the shovel seemed to take more and more effort, droplets of sweat covering his face and arms, mingling with the tears that already covered his face.

"Khanom?" A voice coming from the distance startled me. I turned my head only to see Wali standing a few feet away, pointing to the rucksack which he had packed the nitrogen vials inside. I'd all but completely forgotten about him.

"You put them away?"

He nodded.

"Fine." I could care less by this point. "Assef, can Wali go home now?"

My brother nodded absently, still focused entirely on Aarash and Farsef. "Yes. And Wali?"

"Y-yes, agha?"

Assef's tone was sharp, deadly. "Tell no one about this. Not a soul. Understand?"

"Yes, agha."

Both Assef and I turned our attention to the burial once more as Wali left the clearing. I did not worry in the slightest that either he, Kamal or my Adia would tell anyone what happened today. They were not so stupid.

Finally, with a dejected sigh, Aarash dumped the last remaining pile of snow onto Farsef's body, now completely hiding the body from view. He used the shovel to pat the snow down, smoothing it over the grave, so it now looked as inconspicuous as possible. His legs went out from under him as he collapsed onto his knees, in tears.

We were done. After all these hours. All this time. We were finally, finally done. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Instead, what came out of my mouth was a strange noise that sounded like a mixture of the two. Aarash hugged himself round the middle, sobbing bitterly.

"Sorry, so.. sorry, little brother," he croaked, resting a hand upon the grave. "L-love you, Fars."

My brother bent down so that he was on a level with Aarash. "Look at me." His voice was calm, yet commandeering. It left no room for argument. Slowly, Aarash turned his head to face my brother.

"Assef.." he began. Assef held up a hand to silence him.

"I'm going to let you go home now, Aarash. But I'm warning you once and _only_ once. If you ever breathe a word about this to anyone, even your own parents.." he leaned in close to Aarash, so close their noses were almost touching. "If I ever find out you told anyone about this, and I will find out, I'll take your mother and do to her everything I did to Farsef only much, much worse. I'll make you watch as I dismember, rape and torture her. And this, what we did to your brother, that will be _merciful_ compared to what we will do to her. Do I make myself clear?"

He didn't sound half as cruel as he normally did. Assef knew there was no point in being violent anymore. No, not today. Aarash nodded. "Yes. I understand."

Assef punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Right then. Get going." Aarash struggled to his feet. My brother and I watched wordlessly as he disappeared into the horizon, his loud sobs fading into the distance.

"We did it, kiddo." Assef's face broke out into a wide, sadistic grin. He held his arms out and I ran into them, laughing and crying all at the same time.

"It's over now?" I could hardly believe it.

"Yes. Your revenge, _our_ revenge. It's done now."

I yawned. I hadn't realised I was this tired. "Then let me get changed," I looked down at my ruined clothes, "and we can go home."

"Sounds like a plan, sis. I'll wait for you over here."

As Assef leaned against the tree, I hurried to my rucksack, pulling the spare dress, tights and shoes I had packed out. I ran behind a group of trees, which shielded me from view, not that anyone was there to see in any case.

I quickly changed my clothes, using the bloodied dress in my hand to wipe away any dirt on my face and arms. I bundled the ruined clothing up under my arm as I made my way back to Assef. He had finished gathering up the ropes that had bound both Aarash and Farsef, coiled them up and put them into his rucksack. I knew we would have to dispose of the evidence sooner rather than later.

"One more thing before we go, kiddo." He pulled Dr. Behnam's ID card from his back pocket. I had almost forgotten we had it. Assef bent down, placing the card a few feet away from Farsef's grave. He kicked a bit of snow onto it, not completely obscuring it from view, just so that it looked like the doctor could have accidently dropped it while burying Farsef.

"There," Assef nodded in self-satisfaction. "Done."

He slung both bags over his shoulder, took my little hand in his. "Let's go home, kiddo."

We began to walk away from the clearing. I felt drained, both physically and emotionally, by what we had done. I turned to look back at Farsef's grave for the final time.

I had always wondered what the true depths of my cruelty were.

Now I knew.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another big thank you to Christany for her help and dedication to this chapter and series as a whole. Her support and talent is more than appreciated. :D
> 
> As with the previous two chapters, this one is extremely graphic and contains scenes of a sexual nature. Please do not read if this is something that upsets you, or if you have a weak stomach.


	35. Consequences of Hatred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Farsef's life came to an end. Saria, in a rare display of human emotion and guilt, allowed Farsef and Aarash to say their final goodbyes to each other. Farsef shocked her when he made Aarash promise never to hurt Saria again. Now we find that four days have passed since the incident, but the memory of that fateful day still lingers on Saria's mind...

The light of the morning sun, which had barely risen above the horizon, shone brightly into my room, almost blinding me, despite the fact that the curtains were closed. "God damn it. This happens every fucking morning," I grumbled, pulling the covers up over my head in what was most definitely a futile attempt to block out the fucking light. I curled up into a tiny ball, eyes squeezed tightly shut, wanting to just get back to sleep. I could hear the old clock ticking noisily on the wall just adjacent to my vanity desk. The noise was magnified in my otherwise silent bedroom.

'I should just smash that fucking clock to pieces,' I thought vehemently, biting down on my clenched fist to stop myself from yelling and throwing another one of my trademark rages. A shiver ran through my body, making me curse under my breath and pull the covers tighter around myself. Now only my head poked out from this cocoon I had made. My teeth chattered loudly, there was a dull ache in my temple. 'I'd better not be getting the flu,' I grumbled inwardly, rolling my eyes at the thought. Wouldn't that just be fucking wonderful? And it would be just my luck, too. That I would end up being sick during the last month and a half I had off school. It would be a perfect, bitter irony the likes of which could only happen to a person with the cursed luck that Saria Ahmed has.

What time was it anyways? I wondered. My tired body ached as I swung myself up and out of bed, my toes digging into the white, dense fabric of the carpet, goose bumps forming on my legs and arms as a gust of freezing wind blew through the room. I became increasingly frustrated with myself as I realised that I had, in fact, neglected to shut the window last night. 'Well, that was clever, Saria, wasn't it?' my brain chastised me, as it has been known to do. many, many times. 'Yes, very fucking clever.' I shivered again, arms wrapped tightly across my chest, my short-sleeved nightgown doing little to protect me from the bitter cold of the freezing November weather. I padded in bare feet across the carpet. I pulled out the old oak chair from underneath my vanity desk, slowly pulling myself up to stand on it. I craned my neck to look up at the clock. 8:30 AM. Fuck. Too damn early.

My heart almost stopped as the chair tilted forward slightly. "Shit!" I exclaimed loudly, gripping the edge of the chair as I almost tumbled off of it. Only my quick thinking stopped me from landing in a heap on the floor. The chair clattered noisily against the desk, the force of the impact bringing me down to my knees. Hard. I winced in pain; I would have some serious fucking bruises from that. I placed a hand over my chest, breathing out deeply, my hands clutching tightly to the back of the chair, knuckles pasty white, heart thudding like a hammer against cloth, so loud, in fact, that it reverberated in my eardrums.

"Easy.. easy, Saria," I gave myself a little pep-talk in German. "Get down now before you end up hurting yourself." Shakily, slowly, my heart jack-rabbiting in my chest, I brought one foot gingerly down onto the carpet, then the other. I held onto the back of the chair for support, trembling. Fuck.

I winced at the pain in my knees, each step seeming to take more and more effort. Getting up on that chair really was fucking stupid idea, wasn't it? I lay back down, not even bothering to cover myself up anymore, looking up at the ceiling, hands folded behind my head.

I had barely slept a wink the previous night. In fact, I had been having a lot of problems sleeping lately. I could almost liken myself to an insomniac. Every time my head hit the pillow and I closed my eyes, the horrific images would flash through my damaged psyche. Farsef's corpse, broken, mangled and burned, lying in his early grave. His eye staring up at me, almost asking "why?" Why had I tortured him, why had I taken his life. Of course, the answer to that was simple, wasn't it?

He deserved it. If his brother hadn't attacked me, hadn't taken away my chance to have a family, then none of this would have happened. Farsef would still be here if it hadn't been for Aarash, for his own selfish pride. Still, I couldn't escape the thoughts that circled within my brain, the recurring nightmares. Mostly they consisted of me taking Farsef's place. Instead of Farsef, it was I who was tortured, I who lay naked and bound in the snow. The dreams were so vivid, so real, so palpable.

I could feel Aarash's fists on my skin, hear his sadistic laughter as he burned and mutilated me, the putrid stench of my own burned flesh permeating the air, Assef's screams growing louder with each passing moment. A tear fell from my eyes and down my cheeks as I lay in the bed, trying to bring myself back to reality. I tried to convince myself that these dreams were not real. That I was in no danger. But try as I might I just couldn't stop worrying. Despite the fact that Farsef had made Aarash promise not to hurt me, not to hurt my brother, I still did not fully trust Aarash's word.

And with good reason, too. After all, this was the same psychopathic monster of a boy who had tortured, molested and beaten me. The same demon who had.. who had touched my sweet little Adia, taken her fragile, gentle soul and shattered it into a thousand tiny pieces, just like the pieces of a broken mirror. I knew that if anyone, anyone had tortured and murdered my Assef in the way we did to Farsef, they would have waded knee deep into a river of fuck. The whole reason Assef wanted to torture Farsef in the first place was to punish Aarash for hurting me, after all. Could I really be sure that Aarash wouldn't hurt me? That I could trust he would keep his promise to Farsef? Well, did I even need to ask that question?

Four days had passed since the brutal torture-murder. Four days since Assef and I had committed a crime that would shock even the most hardened of psychopaths. I thought about how I had taken this young boy's life so callously, of how this was another broken home, another family we had shattered. I could only imagine the pain his parents must have been feeling. I could envision them crying, broken, dishevelled and depressed, their souls torn apart by the loss of their youngest son. Not all that different from how Zainab's or Fahrsan's parents would have acted. Farsef would never get to grow up, never get to have a life, to marry, be a father. He was now just another rotting corpse in a desolate grave.

That was the price you paid for fucking with the Ahmed siblings. I felt no guilt for what I had done. By torturing Farsef I had, in my opinion, received the proper justice for the pain, misery and humiliation I had faced at Aarash's hands. A part of me felt cleansed, renewed and yet the other part, the more dominant part, just could not stop worrying and fussing over constant what-ifs. What if Aarash did try to hurt me, to hurt Assef? What if he went to the police? Despite how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise, I just could not shake these thoughts. Anxiety had always been a problem for me, it still is to this day, and I could feel my stomach turning as I thought about just what could happen, of how my plan could backfire.

I must have laid in bed for over half an hour, just listening to the sounds outside. The car engines revving up, people chattering amongst themselves as they went on their way to work. I imagined those children who were forced to attend Winter tutoring, who didn't even get the slightest respite from school. In my mind's eye I could picture them, shivering in the bitter, icy wind as they slipped and slided across the ice on their way to lessons. While I had five more weeks of rest and relaxation ahead of me, these children were buried nose-deep in arithmetic, Rumi poems and History lessons. Oh, how the thought of their misery brought a smile to my face.

I listened intently to Hamilra's voice, singing old Hazara songs as she cleaned the house.. She always got up so much earlier than the rest of us, dusting, sweeping and cleaning upstairs and downstairs. It was all just part of her job description. And if caused stress to the whore? Even better. I hoped she would work herself to death like the filthy, worthless piece of shit that she was. All Hazaras, no matter how old or young, deserved to suffer and die, in my opinion. But I need not speak further on that.

After about thirty minutes of lying engrossed in my own thoughts and meanderings, I decided it was probably time for me to get up. If I lay here any longer, I knew I would surely go insane with all the thoughts rushing through my mind. Plus, I was getting quite hungry, if the rumbling and gurgling of my stomach was anything to go by. With another dejected groan, I lifted myself up off the bed, almost swaying, tired and apathetic as I got to my feet. My toes dug into the carpet as I moved my foot left and right, trying to find where I had left my slippers. Eventually, after a few brief moments searching, I found them and gently slid my feet inside. My dressing gown hung on the back of my door. I pulled it across my little body.

'Might as well make the bed,' I thought. I smoothed down the covers, plumped up the pillow and folded the blanket neatly, laying it at the end of the bed. Neat and tidy. Just how I liked it. A car engine backfired, causing me to almost jump out of my skin. It was as startling as a burst balloon or gunshot. Though it didn't take much to startle me, really. I turned the handle on the doorknob, opening it, looking from left to right as though on a secret mission. Fuck, was it even worth getting up this early? It wasn't like there was anyone here to chastise me for being lazy if I were to stay in bed late. God knows I deserved a rest after all I'd been through.

Yet, another low growl, almost like the mating call of a dying whale, told me I seriously needed to get up and eat. I hadn't eaten all that much in the past four days. I always lost my appetite during times of stress and this time was no different. Could I be blamed for feeling nervous? For fretting as much as I did? Surely a person who faced the trials and tribulations that I did deserved to worry.

Right now, though, there was little point in fretting over Aarash or Farsef any more. It wasn't as though Aarash would be waiting for me in the house now, was it? No, I was safe for now and I could relish in the delight of what I had done. Oh, don't get me wrong, the internal scars of the pain I had faced at Aarash's hands would not just disappear. They marred and tainted my soul just as the physical ones were staining my body. It was not something I could just forget, not something that I would ever be able to leave behind me.

The torture I had faced, the scars on my neck and nose, losing the ability to ever bear children and with that, probably, the hope that any man would ever marry me. This had defined me, had changed me completely as a person, no matter how hard I tried not to let it. I mulled over this as I made my way downstairs. The ability to bear children was something that could truly define a woman, something men always looked for in a wife. What good would I fare now? Even that faggot Amir didn't care for me. Amir. The mere mention of that cunt's name was almost taboo. Truly, besides Aarash, I had never detested a boy more.

'To think I once loved you, Amir?' I thought in bitter disappointment. 'How much I cared, how much I tried to protect you. And you chose a Hazara over me? You chose to protect Hassan?' I gritted my teeth. 'You're days are numbered, you Hazara-loving wanker. I swear to fucking God, the next body I put in the ground will be yours.'

Oh, how I wanted to scream this in Amir's face, to spit on him, let him know how I really felt. If I hadn't been so preoccupied in dealing with Farsef, it would be him who lay in that shallow grave, I can assure you of that. As I made my way into the kitchen, Hamilra swore loudly. i felt the corners of my lips tug upwards, her pain was my pleasure. She hunched over the sink, scrubbing at a grease-covered bowl, her hands covered in soap and murky water.

"Damn it! Why won't this clean?" she exclaimed, almost yelling in her frustration. She began scrubbing harder. I folded my arms over my chest as I stood there, watching her. Her forehead was beaded with sweat, soapy suds covering her hands and arms. A pile of dirty dishes rested on the left-hand side of the countertop, waiting to be cleaned. I wrinkled my nose in disgust; this really ought to have been cleaned by now.

She hadn't even noticed me standing there, so engrossed was she in her work. I decided to make conversation with the bitch. I cleared my throat. "Salaam, Hamilra." There was a cold edge to my voice, the kind I only used with people I wanted to dominate and control.

Hamilra whipped around, startled, almost dropping the bowl. "S-Saria.. khanom.." There was a tremor in her voice as she bowed her head low, giving me the respect that I knew I deserved. "Good morning."

"Stuck on grease, I see." I pointed to the bowl. Hamilra looked ashamed, as right she should. "Of course, I'm a little disappointed to be coming down to such a mess but you know what? We'll say no more about it now. You know better, don't you?" God, did I sound patronising. It must have been incredibly frustrating for Hamilra, a grown woman in her late thirties, to be spoken to this way by a child. Still, what could she do? What could she say?

"My apologies, khanom," she mumbled, looking down at her feet. "It won't happen again."

"Of course it won't." There was no denying the stern, authoritative tone in my voice. I looked around me, half hoping Assef would come downstairs. I needed some intelligent conversation. He was nowhere to be found. Odd. Assef usually always got up earlier than me. "Hamilra?" I asked.

"Y-yes, khanom?"

"Have you seen my brother?" I asked. "I mean, has he gotten up yet?"

Hamilra looked blankly at me for a moment, confusion painted on her stupid face. "Your brother?"

"Yes. Assef. Has he gotten up yet?" I leaned against the sink, arms folded, kicking at the ground, bored, aloof.

"Oh. Uh, no, khanom. No, he hasn't. You're the first person up this morning, well, besides myself of course," she laughed to herself at her own unfunny joke.

"You're not a person though, are you?" I asked in German. "You're a piece of scum." A brief look of confusion passed over Hamilra's face for a moment, then she blinked and it was gone. She knew better than to start questioning my strange language, I was always speaking German, after all. Plus, it was not in her place to question me. It was not in any Hazara's place to question me, to question any Pashtuns. We were worth so much more than them, after all.

"Khanom?" Hamilra's voice broke through my reverie.

"What? What do you want?"

"Do you want me to make you breakfast?" the slave offered, gesturing to the cupboards where we kept the food.

"Well, you don't expect me to make it myself, now do you?" I quipped, though I was glowering at her as I said it. She backed away from me, wringing her hands. I arched an eyebrow. "Well?"

Hamilra opened the cupboard door. "What would you like?" she asked.

"Toast and orange juice. I'm going to the living room. Call me when it's ready. I trust you know how I like my toast, remember, cold before you put the butter on it." With that being said, I left the woman to her own devices as I made my way inside the living room. I sat down, picking up a book from off the coffee table and curling up on the couch, my legs tucked underneath me.

I glanced at the cover of the book, recognising it as being one that Papa had bought for me when I was ten, one about Pashtun history, the rich culture of my people. For the next five or six minutes, I flicked through the pages of the book, waiting for my food to be cooked. Damn, was I starving. 'Could you be any slower, Hamilra?' I thought irately, glancing back towards the kitchen. I really wanted to hear the 'pop' of the toaster, and to hear it soon.

I played absent-mindedly with the corners of the book, listening to the ticking of the old grandfather clock, my patience, the little that I had in the first place, beginning to wear thin. I drummed my fingers impatiently against the table. A soft knock sounded on the door, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Khanom?" Hamilra asked, standing in the doorway. I turned, "Your breakfast is ready."

"Fine." I didn't even bother to thank her. Why would I? I made my way back to the kitchen, where Hamilra had laid out a plate with two slices of buttered toast and a tall glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. I licked my lips, despite the little voice in my head telling me the food was probably going to be shit.

Bile rose in my throat as I bit down on the toast, ripping it in half with my teeth. I swallowed hard, the crusts scratching against my throat, utterly disgusted that I had to eat food prepared by a Hazara. Oh, I know I could have just made this breakfast myself, but why should I? It's Hamilra's job to wait on me and Assef. Still, that didn't change the fact that she couldn't cook worth a damn.

Not even something as simple as toast and juice. I gulped down a swig of the orange juice, shuddering as the pulp caught in the roof of my mouth. I really missed my mother's cooking. I may have hated the woman, but I had to give her credit, she did know how to rustle up a good meal. Much better than anything Hamilra could ever do, anyway. In some ways, I guess you could say I missed my parents. They were still away in Pakistan, still trying to get forgiveness from Stella and Shareem.

The thought made me laugh, and still does, even to this day. How blind they could be. That they didn't see that the true killer, the true reason for poor Fahrsan's suffering and death, was right under their nose. Still, what was taking them so long? They were only meant to be gone for the weekend, they were supposed to be back on Tuesday, now it was Wednesday, and there was no sign of them.

'What the fuck? You'd think they'd have made contact,' I inwardly grumbled, picking at the food on my plate, my nose crinkled in disgust. "I can't even eat this shit. I'll probably get food poisoning," I said aloud, not caring whether Hamilra heard me or not. I got up from my seat, bringing the half-eaten food over to the bin. I shoved it inside, then tossed the plate into the sink. I knew if Papa were here he would be annoyed at the waste of food. Not that I gave two shits.

I glanced out into the back yard. A fresh snowfall had begun, each individual flake painting the sky and ground with a beautiful shade of white. It was an almost peaceful sight, something that I could bask in and allow my worries to just fade away. Against my better judgement, knowing full well I was not dressed for the weather, I decided to go outside.

The wet, icy snow made the ground slippery and I almost fell flat on my ass as I went out the back door. "What the fuck are you even doing this for?" I asked myself, continuing to stumble my way across the back yard, the frigid winds biting at my skin and blowing my hair about my face. In all honesty, I had no idea why I was doing this. Maybe I just needed to get out of the house, maybe I just needed to be with nature for a while.

Whatever the reason, I continued to skid my way across the ice, making my way to the family pool situated just a few mere yards away. My body was trembling, snow covering my feet, I could even feel the new snowflakes covering my hair and shoulders. It was almost peaceful, away from the hustle and bustle inside, the only noise being that of the birds chirping and the rustling of the trees as they bowed and swayed in the wind. I watched the branches moving with the wind, almost as if they were dancing for my own amusement.

I sat by the pool, which had been drained for the winter, removing my shoes and letting my bare feet dangle in, tilting my head back to look up at the morning sun. Placing my hand upon my forehead, to shield my eyes, I watched the clouds pass by, each one without a care in the world. Isn't nature beautiful? The clear blue sky, the white ground, the birds chirping overhead. What a serene, perfect sight.

But try as I might, there was still a painful truth that I had yet to face. Adia was ignoring me and had been ever since the torture ended, ever since she had learned of Farsef's death. Thank heaven I'd been sensible enough to let her go home before the real damage had been done, before we had burned him, had gouged his eye out, melted his flesh, broke his fingers, yes, all of the horrendous things that no eleven-year-old child ought to see. Ever.

Could one imagine what state the little girl would be in if she'd borne witness to that. How would she feel if I had forced her to watch Farsef eating Mirwais? If she saw Assef burning him, saw the slivers of skin peeling off, the red flesh, heard his cries of pain? It didn't even bear thinking about, she was fucked up enough. I buried my face in my palms, grinding my teeth loudly in my ire.

"Should have known.. damn you, Saria Ahmed.. DAMN you.. should have fucking known not to take her out there. Not to expose her to such violence.. Why the hell didn't you just think? You stupid, stupid girl!" I knocked three times on the side of my temple; self-punishment was nothing new to me. "So fucking stupid. You love her like a sister? Funny way of showing it, don't you?"

Yes, I was arguing with myself, I always did. Self-loathing, anxiety, rage, they were all a never-ending cycle within my damaged psyche. Bitter tears stung at the corners of my eyes, rolling down my cheeks, wracked with sobs as I punched angrily at the ground in my own fit of burning rage. "Stupid, stupid.. stupid..." I wailed.

What if she told somebody? I could no longer be fully confident that she would keep quiet. She was an impressionable child, after all and fear can drive people to do things they say they won't. What if she got scared one night, had a nightmare? If she went to her mother or her father and told them what had transpired in the forest? Could one imagine the shit that we would be in then?

Adia wasn't even returning any of my calls, hadn't come up to play with me as she used to before. Why couldn't she understand, I had done this for her? Aarash had.. had molested her. By letting her see his punishment, I was allowing her to see that nobody (bar Assef and I) had the right to hurt her, to cause her any sort of pain.

This child needed someone to be there for her. Masood was gone and now she had nobody, nobody to look out for her, to defend her from bullies, to stop monsters like Aarash from molesting and breaking her. I wanted to prove to the world that I was human, to show what kind of a person I could be. That I was able to love and care for someone besides just Assef.

"Saria! Saria, kiddo!" 'Speak of the devil,' I thought, glancing back to spot my brother trudging through the snow, already fully dressed in blue jeans and black sweatshirt, his hair neatly combed back, arms swinging by his sides.

"Morning, Assef jan." I waved, moving over so that he could sit down next to me. Assef wrapped an arm round my shoulder, I leaned my head against his. He kissed my forehead gently, stroking the back of my hair.

He squinted at me, scrutinising every aspect of my rather unsuitable attire. "Kiddo.." he began, rubbing my shoulders in an attempt to keep me warm. I hadn't even noticed how cold it really was "Uh, kiddo, what are you doing out here? This early and.. and dressed like that? For God's sake, you're freezing to the touch."

"Guess I just needed some space. You know, away from everything," I replied. Assef rolled his eyes, arching an eyebrow.

He nudged me in the ribs. "You look upset. What's up?"

"Well.." I hesitated. Should I really tell my brother about Adia? What could he do? It wasn't like there was any way he could build a time machine, go back in time and stop me from making the idiotic decision to take Adia with me in the first place. Plus, I knew exactly what he would say. She deserved to see it. We would get through this. Everything would be okay. Much as I wanted to hear those words from my brother's mouth, what good would they truly do? What comfort would they bring to me?

My brother looked anxiously at me, his brow crinkling in worry. "What is it, sister? Is there something you need to tell me. I can see you're upset. Your eyes are red, you've been crying, I know it. Tell me what's wrong. You shouldn't be sitting out here on your own, why didn't you come get me if something was bothering you?"

I felt another pang of guilt sting at me. I abhorred causing my brother any sort of upset, letting him worry over me. "I'm sorry," I said, bowing my head as though in shame. I wiped at my eyes again. "But there's nothing wrong. I-I.." I could tell he wasn't buying it one bit. "I just needed some space. Time to myself, you know. I guess my thoughts just got to me."

Assef looked like he wanted to chastise me further, to press the issue, to keep on at me until I told him what was wrong. He cupped his hand under my chin, turning me to face him. In his blue eyes, I could see myself, could see the tear-stained, blotchy face, the red-rimmed and bloodshot eyes. Without saying another word, his arms enveloped me in a bone-crunching hug, hands rubbing circles into my back, whispering loving, soothing German words into my ear.

"Okay. You know what? That's fine. You tell me if you want. I mean, I wish you could tell me now but.. it's your decision not to."

"It's really nothing." I hated saying this. Adia's feelings, my feelings, they were certainly not nothing. Like I wrote earlier though, what could my brother really do to fix it? Adia must be just as terrified of him as she was of me. The thought made me feel sick. As if the poor little girl wasn't already frightened of my brother enough. God. I just wanted them to get along. The two people I loved most in this world, yet so much animosity rested between them.

Assef nodded, though he didn't look in any way convinced. "Well, if that's the case," he began. I turned to face him. He bit his lip, shifting from left to right, hesitant to speak further.

"What? Is there something wrong?" I asked gently.

Assef took my hand in his. "I've been thinking, Saria, thinking about something that happened four days ago. Something that's been on my mind for so long. I need to ask you.. something, maybe if I get an answer I can sleep better at night. I don't know." He took hold of my shoulders. I tilted my head so that I was looking up at him. "But I need you to be completely honest with me."

"When have I ever not been honest with you?" I quipped in German.

Assef narrowed his eyes; obviously this was not the time for joking around. "Sorry, brother. What do you want? What's bothering you?"

Assef's chest seemed to deflate as he left a breath out, the words spilling like a gushing river from his mouth. "Do you think I'm gay?" he asked, all in one breath. The words were so garbled I could barely understand them.

"Do I- what?" I wanted to make sure I'd heard correctly.

Assef look embarrassed. He fiddled with the hem of his sweatshirt, looking down at the ground, as though ashamed to even bring the topic to my attention. "Do.. you.. think.. I'm.. gay?" he gritted through clenched teeth, his hand balled up into a fist.

"What do you.. I mean.. where in the fucking world would you get that idea?" Oh boy. I had been expecting this conversation but I didn't fucking think he would bring it up now. Assef began to wring his hands, averting my gaze. I could see the fire beginning to build within his eyes, self-rage that would soon explode. "Assef.. what.. what the fuck? Why would I think you were gay?"

"Oh, I don't know, sister, maybe the fact you thought I was going to rape Wali? The fact you think I'd put my dick in anything with a fucking pulse. Is that a good enough reason?" he barked angrily. "Tell me, right now, do you think I'm a fag? Answer me!"

Oh, now I was pissed. Assef had turned his back on me, looking off into the distance. I grabbed his shoulder forcefully, turning him around to face me. "Excuse me, Assef Ahmed! Don't you dare yell at me, don't you dare treat me like this. I will not stand for it."

Assef pursed his lips, raging, furious. He exhaled deeply. "Then answer me, Saria. Do you think I'm gay?"

"I..." I hesitated. How could I say it? How could I put it in the most tactful way? I didn't want to offend my brother but at the same time, there was no denying the evidence he had laid out before me, clear as day.

"You have been known to.." I trailed off under the weight of his stony glare. "Assef, I'm not saying this to upset or anger you. I'm just.. you can't deny that you have done.. things.. to other boys.. you know? And Wali, you told him to kneel... and you.. you were taking your belt off.. I mean, how was I supposed to think? What conclusion am I gonna draw from that?"

My brother was immediately on the defensive. "Oh. So just because I rape a few people, does that make me a kunis? Does it?"

"Well.. I mean.. Wali.. a-and Hassan.." I started. I didn't get to finish my sentence. Assef shoved a finger in my face, his teeth gritted, eyes wild with unyielding fury.

"Shut it!" he snarled, causing me to flinch. "You think I was fucking attracted to them? To Hassan? I get aroused by a fucking Hazara, is that what you think?" He was almost shouting at me now.

"I love the way you can't even talk to me without acting like a fucking child!" I snapped sarcastically, moving away from him.

"Rape isn't about sexual satisfaction, isn't about me having a fucking hard-on for them. You're a fucking fool if you think it is!" Oh. Now the fire had been lit within me. I'm a fool? No, I was not going to let this slide. I narrowed my eyes at him, letting him see the disappointment on my face.

"I don't know if you're gay or not. To be honest, I don't fucking care. You're my brother, first and foremost, whether you're gay, straight, bi. I'd never pass any judgement on you, I thought you knew me better than that." Yes, I was hurt. Who could blame me? Assef's harshness, his cruel words, they really stung. Did he not trust me? Not trust that I would still always love him, no matter what type of person he was attracted to?

Assef looked taken-aback. Had he really fucking expected me to just sit there and let him talk down to me, to disrespect me? That was not something I was just going to let slide, whether he was my brother or not.

"What am I supposed to fucking think, Saria? How am I supposed to feel?" he asked, getting up and pacing around the edge of the pool. I watched as he kicked angrily at the snow, hands balled up into fists, looking as though he wanted to scream out in his frustration. I put my slippers back on and got to my feet, making my way over to him.

"Assef, you're not.." I stopped myself from completing the sentence. I came to the realisation that there was no way I could tell my brother that he wasn't gay, that he wasn't a "homo" as he put it. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. Fuck, this was not something I wanted to talk about. This was more than awkward.

My brother stopped his pacing, turning back to face me, clenched hands trembling, eyes almost glassy. "I can't.. I mean, this is what you think of me. This is what my little sister sees me as. A faggot. A homo."

"Assef," my voice cracked. I was becoming emotional again. "Please.. please, listen to me! I don't care if you're gay. I'd never ever judge you for that. What do I have to do to make you believe me?"

Assef ran his fingers through his hair, chest heaving up and down, face turning an off-white colour. "I don't.. I don't know what to even see myself as. I mean, I do find some.. some men.. attractive.. I.." his face flushed. "Fuck, this is awkward, isn't it?" he laughed shakily.

I took his hand in mine, tilting my head back to look up at him. "Whether you are or not, we'll get through this, together. Just like we get through everything else. Okay?" I kept a soft, gentle voice, not wanting to prolong the argument any further.

"You're right, kiddo, you're absolutely right," Assef smiled, gesturing for me to hug him. I did so, my head rested snugly against his waist, his fingers running through my tangled blonde hair. "I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you, kiddo. I'm sorry I treated you like I did. I feel like shit for doing that."

I squeezed his hand in mine, the reassuring feeling providing a little comfort to both of us. ''You know what? Let's not even talk about this any more. Okay? Let's just. let's just leave it. For now, at least.''

Assef nodded. "Fine. We'll just.. just forget about it for now." Both of us would like nothing less. He slung an arm around my shoulder, kissing the side of my head. I cuddled into him, just basking in the moment of being together. No more animosity. No more tension. We held each other for a few minutes, the flakes of snow coating our heads and making me quiver with cold.

Of course, because we can't even have a fucking moment's peace together, the phone began to ring incessantly from inside the house, so loud in fact that I could imagine it hopping off the walls. "Now who in the fuck is that?" Assef voiced what I was thinking.

"No idea, but we'd better get inside to answer it. I doubt Hamilra will be bothered." Rolling my eyes, I dropped my brother's hand as I started trudging my way back towards the house, Assef trailing along at my side. The nearer we got, the louder the ringing became. It was grating on my nerves, high pitched, blaring, filling the entire house with the noise.

We neared the sliding door. ''I'll get the phone, kiddo,'' Assef told me, pulling the door open and stepping inside. I bent down, dusting the snow off of my feet so as not to track any into the house. I almost jumped out of my skin as the phone rang again. ''Fucking ridiculous,'' Assef grumbled, looking at the phone irritatedly, as though it were the source of all his problems and worries.

I took off my dressing gown, hanging it neatly over the back of a chair and sitting down. Assef grabbed the receiver, pressing it up to his ear. ''Salaam?'' A strange, unreadable expression came over his face. I leaned on the side of my palm, watching him with an intent, avid interest. Assef briefly held the receiver away from himself. ''It's Father,'' he mouthed at me. Now my interest was certainly peaked. What in the hell were my parents calling for? The gears in my anxious mind began to work overtime. What did they want? What was wrong? They had to be coming home soon, right? So why were they calling now?

Assef must have seen the concerned look on my face because he held his hand out, beckoning me to come and stand next to him. I got up from my seat and made my way over. My brother stroked the back of my hair in reassurance, balancing the phone between his shoulder and ear. "We're fine, father. Yes. Uh huh. Wait.." his brow furrowed. "You won't be home for another week? Well.. why?"

'They better have a good fucking reason,' I thought. Now, don't misunderstand me, I didn't say this because I missed my parents. No, they could rot in hell for all I cared. But still, they needed to be here with their children. Do you think I wanted to be fucking eaten Hamilra's shitty meals for another week?

Assef continued listening, getting more and more disappointed by everything Papa had to say. "The car broke down?" he asked. "Well, how in the world did that happen?" I wanted to ask that same question myself. Our car was relatively new, only about four or five years old, and hardly had any problems since we'd bought it. There was no plausible way for it to break down. Then again, I knew next to nothing about cars and car engines, but still.. I called bullshit on their little excuse.

'If something else is wrong why don't they just fucking say it?' I thought but of course couldn't say it aloud. Even if I were to speak to my brother in German, I had no way of knowing how close Mama was in the vicinity or whether she would be able to hear us and if she did, I knew she would pitch a damn fit. It would be 'disrespectful' of me, after all. I kept quiet so as to prevent an row from breaking out.

I jumped up on the countertop beside the sink, kicking my legs back and forth, cocking my head to the right as I listened in to the conversation. Assef rolled his eyes, he wasn't buying their shitty excuses any more than I was. "There's a problem with the engine? Right. Well then how long until it's fixed?"

Papa said something on the other end that I couldn't quite make out, though judging from the look on Assef's face, it wasn't good news. "Next Thursday?" he asked skeptically. No, he wasn't happy with that answer, I could tell. "Oh. Okay then. Yes, I'm looking after Saria, of course I am." He looked annoyed that Papa dared to even ask the question, as was I.

My brother took far, far better care of me than those fuckers ever could dream of, how dare they even think that he wasn't looking after me now? If they were so concerned about my wellbeing, why in the fuck had they gone away in the first place?

"Saria?" Assef asked. I perked up, hopping down from the countertop.

"Yeah?"

But he didn't acknowledge me, still completely engrossed in the phone. I tugged on his hand, wanting to get his attention. "Saria's here, Father, yes. Hold on, I'll put her on."

Assef held the phone out to me. I backed away, hands up in defense, as if it were a venemous cobra about to strike. "I-I.. no.. I'm not talking to him!" I whispered. I had no idea why I didn't want to talk to my father, it wasn't like he could read my mind, wasn't like I was going to spill anything incriminating to him.

"Come on," Assef said gently, placing the receiver down on the countertop. He took my little hand and squeezed the fingers comfortingly. "Just.. just humour him, okay? It won't take two minutes and besides," the corners of his mouth lifted upwards in a cruel smirk, "you can ask how mother and Stella are doing, nay?"

Oh, he had me there. Mama's pain, her grief, it was my joy, my pleasure. Knowing that I had been the cause of it, that brought a great sense of pride to my warped and twisted mind. I nodded. "Fine. Let me talk to him."

Assef handed me the phone, giving me the OK-signal as he took his place on a vacated chair. I held the receiver up to my ear. "Hello?" It surprised me how innocent my voice sounded, how much I sounded like the adorable little girl that I tried to percieve myself as.

"Saria jan! How's my baby?" Papa, I could tell from the joyous tone of his voice, was absolutely thrilled to hear from me. Not that the feeling was mutual, but I need not say any more in regards to that, do I?

"I'm fine, Papa. I'm doing real good. And how are you?" Butter wouldn't melt in my angelic little mouth.

"I'm very, very well, sweetie. Did you have a good weekend?" I wanted to smack that patronising tone right out of him. What was I, a two-year-old?

"Yes, yes I did," I chirped in false innocence.

"And what have you been doing? You and your big brother aren't getting into too much trouble now, are you?"

I almost bust my ass laughing then and there! I wonder if he'd think committing torture and murder would be 'getting into too much trouble', ha! "It's been quiet around here, Papa. It's snowing again, really heavy this time. Typical November weather, nay?" We both shared a laugh at my little joke.

"Well, sweetheart, you must have heard that the car's broken down. That we won't be able to come home for another week."

"I know, Papa. I heard you talking to Assef about it. Are you still gonna be staying with Khala Stella and Kaka Shareem, yes?" When he answered in the affirmative I decided now would be a good a time as any to bring up the topic of my mother and aunt's relationship or lack thereof.

"Papa? H-how are Mama and Stella? I mean.. are they friends again?"

''Well, Saria.. the thing is..'' I wanted to hear him say the words. To openly admit to me that there was no hope of reconciliation between the two sisters. No hope of redemption for my pathetic, forlorn excuse for a mother. ''The thing is,'' Papa said again, his voice cracking slightly. The whole situation must have been taxing on him just as much as for Mama and Stella.

''They're not still fighting are they?'' I asked, forcing every drop of false sadness out of my own voice. ''Sisters.. siblings.. they aren't meant to hate each other.''

''You're right, Saria, but you see, Stella's still not quite healed over Fahrsan's death. She's in so much pain, her wounds are still very raw and she's hurting so badly because of it. She's not quite ready to give Mama her forgiveness just yet."

I barely managed to suppress the giggle from my mouth, hiding it under a well-concealed cough. I didn't dare look at my brother, knowing full well that if I did so, I would only burst out laughing. Assef and I always took so much unbridled joy in the suffering of others, especially when that suffering came down to an act of justice on our part. ''I know this must be so very hard for you, darling,'' Papa said, obviously mistaking my silence for grief or anxiousness. ''Hearing about all this fighting, this animosity. Believe me, it's not nice to be here, be in the middle of it either.''

His voice cracked, and in the other room I could barely make out the bitter sounds of two women arguing, Stella chastising Mama, who gave meek, humble replies to everything her younger sister said. I wanted in on every little tidbit of this fight, yet, unfortunately, they were too far away to really gauge the exact words being said. If only I was in Pakistan.

''Kiddo,'' Assef called impatiently. I turned back to face him and he gestured with his right hand to the clock on the wall. 9:53AM. Time to end this conversation before it ended up wasting our day.

''Papa,'' I chimed, putting on the false mask of innocence once again, ''I'm gonna have to go now. Busy day and all. I'll talk to you next week.''

A dejected sigh on the other end of the line told me he wasn't at all happy with me ending the conversation so suddenly. "Alright, Saria. Okay. You take care of yourself and we'll be in touch later in the week to check up on you." Luckily he couldn't see me rolling my eyes, couldn't see the pained grimace that came over my face. Checking up on us? What, were they scared we were going to burn the house to the ground in their absence?

I managed, through my boiling anger, to grit the words, "Fine, Papa. My best to Mama and Stella," and, upon hearing the 'click' of the phone being hung up on his end, furiously slammed the reciever down, almost shattering it with the amount of force and pressure I'd used.

My chest heaved up and down. I could feel a burning in my cheeks, I usually got slightly flushed when aggravated. Talking with my parents, either one of my parents, always seemed to bring out the very worst in me. Ironic, isn't it? Usually parents were meant to bring out the best in their child, but for me it was the complete opposite.

"Still as irritating as ever, I see," my Assef, who looked just as miffed off at our father's constant prying as I was, responded sarcastically.

I sighed.

"Well, at least they're gone now, that's something, isn't it?"

Assef nodded, getting up and stretching his arms overhead, a half-yawn, half-groan coming out of his mouth as he made his way to my side. I wrapped my arm around his waist, leaning my head on his torso, feeling his heartbeat thumping under his chest. Assef calmly and lovingly ran his fingers through the length of my hair, trying to calm me down. I shut my eyes, the ire slowly beginning to dissipate.

"Tell you what, kiddo, why don't I take you out for lunch today? How does that sound? We can go to that cafe you like."

"The one that Belourine works in?"

"Caa, it's your favourite, isn't it? Why don't you run up and get changed and we can go for a walk, then later I'll take you there for something to eat? My treat, kiddo."

Now who could call him a demon or a souless monster when he treated me with such undying kindness as this? I clasped my hands together as if in prayer, bowing my knees in genuine excitement. "Wonderful! Thank you, Assef."

"No need to thank me, Sar. Go on up and get changed. You've got plenty of nice dresses to choose from, haven't you?" He jabbed his fingers against my sides, making me shriek in high-pitched laughter and writhe to get away from him.

"Nice dresses? My dresses are adorable!" I teased back, my tongue poking out childishly from my mouth.

"Well, go and put one of your adorable dresses on, then," Assef laughed and ruffled my hair.

I turned on my heel, giggling innocently, and skipped out of the room. Even though there was nobody around to see my childish act, I still felt cheerful enough to do so. The prospect of spending time with my brother, of having another full week just the two of us, made me want to start cheering and dancing in joy. The bitter mood I had been in earlier seemed to have waned, giving way to a much more sunny dispositions.

Pure, unbridled happiness was a rare feeling, something I never got to experience, so turbulent was my life. Yet now I felt peaceful, as if there were nothing in the world could bring me down. No, not even the knowledge that I would have to wear one of my hideously cute dresses again would dampen this joyous mood.

As I bounded joyously into my room with genuine excitement akin to a child on the first day of Eid, I took solace in the fact that for now, at least, nothing could hurt me. That there was no need to worry anymore. All thoughts of Farsef, Adia, Aarash.. they could be pushed to the back of my mind, stored away in the overfilling compartment of problems I would eventually need to sort.

But not today, though. No, as I threw open the door to my wardrobe and searched once again through my many dresses and pinafores, I took solace in the fact that in this moment I would allow myself to feel content. To enjoy life. I tossed a relatively new lilac pinafore onto the bed, along with matching purple cardigan. Didn't want to catch a chill, and I knew my brother would make me wear it anyway.

Despite there only being five years between us in age, he played the role of protective guardian as well as big brother, God knows somebody had to.

I dressed quickly, smoothing out the creases in my pinafore, then fetching a pair of white lace socks and my black ballet shoes. After brushing my hair into a ponytail and fixing a ribbon at the end of it (which took an inordinate amount of fucking time) I took a moment to look at my reflection in the mirror. Every time I saw myself, I was always taken aback by how young and innocent I looked. Hands clasped demurely in front of me, legs slightly parted, my blue eyes shining with innocent delight. How utterly, sickeningly adorable I looked.

Unfortunately, as was always the case nowadays, my lingering gaze came to rest upon the scars adorning my neck and nose. It was as if the criss-crossed etchings were mocking me, mocking my very existence, questioning my very reason for being on this planet. Asking why I had even been born in the first place. It was amazing, really, how quickly my emotional state could go from naively happy to bitterly depressed.

'Not like anyone's going to notice them anyway,' I tried in vain to convince myself. 'Come on, you know better than to let this ruin your day.' Easier said than done. I managed, through great internal willpower, to tear my eyes away from the mirror, turning my back on it as I went to fetch my navy pea coat.

As I sat down to button it up, my wandering eyes fell upon the piece of loose floorboard that hid the most damning of evidence. The torture weapons. My ruined clothing. The blood-stained rope. I knew we would have to dispose of all this sooner rather than later. I wondered then if Dr. Behnam's ID card had been found. Surely it must have, there was no way anyone could have missed it. I entertained the notion that maybe we could plant the bags of evidence on the doctor as well. Anything to get my ass out of hot water.

'You don't even know where he lives,' my brain reminded me. I sighed. Fuck. No, we didn't know where the man lived, and it wasn't like we could go around actively searching through every fucking house in Kabul, was it? That would take forever and time was certainly not on our side.

I was startled out of my reverie upon hearing a knock upon the door. "Assef will probably get that," I convinced myself as I fixed my hair and brushed the fluff of the shoulders of my coat. Sure enough, I heard his footsteps across the hard wooden floor downstairs. The insistent knocking came again, louder this time.

"Alright, for the love of fucking God!" I heard my brother swear loudly, and then heard the unmistakable sound of the door being unlocked, the chain pulling back, knob turning. Who could it have been? Assef was talking to whoever was at the door, though his voice was so low that I could barely understand him.

My curiousity getting the better of me, as it so always does, I made the decision to come downstairs to find out for myself just who our mystery visitor was. "Probably just some old busy body neighbour come to gossip or some shit like that," I grumbled under my breath. "If that's the case, all I've got to do is play innocent," I tried to convince myself.

I made my way to the top of the stairs, peering over the bannister. Assef was standing in the doorway, his arms folded across his chest. His back was to me so I couldn't see the expression on his face, but from his stance, I could tell he wasn't all that pleased.

Our guest, trembling all over, stepped out into the foyer, giving me a perfect look at her. No! No way! My eyes widened in shock and disbelief, my heart thudding in my chest. No, how could she.. it couldn't be her, could it?

"There you are, kiddo. Didn't you hear me calling?" Assef asked, turning to face me.

But I didn't even acknowledge or answer him, so focused was I on the little girl standing in the doorway, wringing her hands, her gaze on the floor, not daring to meet my brother's eyes, or mine, for that matter.

My sister. The girl I had destroyed. The child I had forced to participate in and watch some of the most heinous of acts.

Adia.

I clenched and unclenched my fists as I walked towards her, my jaw aching under the weight of my pasty, semi-artificial smile. ''Salaam, Adia jan.'' Oh, how my heart loathed the fearful glint in her eye upon seeing me approach.

''Salaam, k-khanom.'' Normally, in any other circumstances, it would have given me a profound sense of achievement to hear someone refer to me with that term of respect but now, the words sounded so terrible in my ears. I wanted her to call me ''Saria'' like she used to. To give me that smile she always reserved for me. The innocence she always seemed to radiate, how happy she used to be.

All that was gone. Vanished in the blink of an eye. The forlorn, depressed look on her face was not all that different from the look she had worn so many weeks ago when she had told me of how Aarash... of how he...

It was I who had taken her fragile, innocent soul and broken it, smashed it into a million pieces on the ground beneath my feet. Who had lied to, manipulated and used her, who had destroyed her. How did we come to this?

''Why don't you two go upstairs for a little chat? You need it,'' Assef said, gently leading Adia by the arm so she was standing directly in front of me. She quivered at his touch, looking up into his eyes, a fearful expression painted on her face.

Assef grabbed my wrist, leaning down to whisper in my ear, his breath tickling against my skin. "This," he gestured to Adia, who was sitting on the bottom step, her knees drawn tightly up to her chest, "this is the reason you were so.. why you were upset this morning, isn't it?"

At my nod, he gave me an irked look, I could tell he was a bit pissed that I hadn't shared this information with him. 'I'll make it all up to him later,' I told myself, to suppress the weight of the guilt that threatened to crush me from within.

I bent down so Adia and I were level, taking both of her hands in mine. "Why don't we go upstairs, hmm?" She nodded, too afraid to do anything other than obey.

Silently, without a word spoken between us, we meandered up the stairs and into my room. I shut the door tightly behind me, not wanting to be disturbed, though I knew my brother would give us our privacy.

"Please sit down, Adia," I ordered. She gingerly sat on the edge of the bed, legs stretched out in front of her, looking down at her white tennis shoes.

I took my place beside her, leaving just enough distance between us so she wouldn't feel I was crowding her personal space. There was a terse silence. The kind where you could hear a pin drop.

I cleared my throat and tilted my head back. We needed to discuss this, there was no point in denying the inevitable. ''Adia,'' I said, taking her hand in my own. ''We need to have a chat, don't we?''

At her nod, I continued, ''you've been avoiding me lately, haven't you? Come on now, don't play me for a fool, Adia. I know exactly why you're scared. It's because of Farsef, isn't it?''

When she didn't answer, I put my hand under her chin and forced her head in my direction. "Come on now," I chided gently, "you can talk to me. I'm not going to bite."

She chuckled a little at the joke, but we both knew that I was capable of far worse than just 'biting.' She spoke slowly, taking care to measure every word. "I.. don't.. I.. what you did, Saria.. how can I.. How can I.." she buried her face in her hands. "you killed him, Saria."

I remained stoic and emotionless, though inside I wanted to just cry my fragile heart out. "Yes, Adia. Yes, I killed him. But you know why I had to do that, you know I couldn't just let him live."

Adia looked at me. For a child of only eleven, she sure knew how to stare right into the depths of my very soul. I felt as though she were peeling away each layer of the facade I hid behind, that she could see right through every lie, every falsehood.

''You.. you didn't have to.. to hurt him badly, Saria. I-I.. why.. Why did you have to..'' she lowered her voice to a whisper, ''why did you torture him?''

The word sounded so horrid coming from her mouth. So alien. So foreign. She winced, as if to speak the word brought a great physical pain. I wanted to go back and change it all, though we all knew that was impossible. Fuck. This was.. awkward. No, this was so much more than just simply awkward.

"Because it was right."

I didn't sound so sure of that. Nor did I feel it.

Adia shook her head. ''No.. you didn't have to.. have to hurt him like this!''

I sighed, reminding myself to keep a cool head. I could feel the self-frustration and anger bubbling to the surface, threatening to take control, to lmake me do or say things I would later regret. ''I had to hurt him, you know full well that I did. it was justice, Adia. For me, you and Assef. Or have you forgotten what Aarash did to you?''

At the mention of this, tears began to form in her eyes and a lost, depressed expression seemed to cover her face. Why did I have to bring that up? I wanted to kick myself for being such a lousy excuse for a big sister. Still, part of me argued that it were better that I simply manipulate her emotions now than to let things escalate until where they became unfixable later.

She shook her head. ''I-I... no..'' Another tense silence. Adia stared straight at me. ''I.. he was my friend, Saria. You murdered my friend.''

'Friend?' I thought vehemently, balling my hand up into a fist. My heart was beating at one hundred miles an hour, my head pounding. I gritted my teeth, squeezed my eyes shut, tried to get myself to calm down.

How can she say that? How can she call him a friend and not me? After everything I've done for her? Adia needed to learn that I had no intention of sharing her with anybody besides Assef. The fire had been lit and now, now she was only throwing more gasoline on the flames.

I raised my hand as if to strike her, feeling my cheeks burn with hot flushed anger. Adia gasped, putting her hands above her head, arms crossed, in a desperate attempt to protect herself. Downstairs, I heard the distant sound of the telephone ringing again, but chose to ignore it. Assef would answer it, probably just our idiotic parents again ringing to check up on us.

As I looked into Adia's eyes, saw the fear she held for me, I began to feel another heartbreaking pang of guilt. I lowered my hand midway to where I could just reach out and stroke her cheek with one slender finger. She whimpered at my touch as I cooed gently to her, trying to calm her down.

''You don't need to be afraid anymore, jan. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise you that.'' I reached out, pulling her into my arms. It was like hugging a limp rag doll, she felt so frail. ''Shh, there's a good girl, I'm here for you.''

Adia rested her head on my shoulder. My countenance became even more docile and gentle as I stroked her long black hair. ''It's okay, Adia. I'm not mad. Let's just start over and make a clean slate, shall we? Let's just leave what happened with Farsef in the past where it's meant to be.''

''I..'' she started. I put a finger on her lips to hush her.

''I know it upset you. And I know you're afraid of us. But let's just.. let's not mention it to each other again. The past is the past and nothing anyone can say or do will change that. Okay?''

She nodded and I rocked her like a baby in my arms, trying to calm my poor sister. I felt content, at peace, as if everything would become right in my world.

But, as always, peaceful moments are short lived in my life. No sooner had Adia begun to relax, then the door swung open with such intense force that it almost blew off the hinges and cracked right off the wall.

There stood my brother, his fists clenched and trembling. He was white in colour, his blue eyes glassy. I don't think I'd ever seen him look so worried before in all my twelve short years of life, well with the exception of when I had been beaten, but now he looked like death warmed over.

I got to my feet, gently untangling myself from around Adia as I approached my brother. ''Assef jan, what's wrong?''

Oh why, why did I have to open my fucking mouth and ask that question?

Assef's voice seemed to be trembling as much as he was as he forced the words out. ''That was the police. They want to talk to us. They're coming to the house. Now.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter, Saria and Assef are questioned by authorities in regards to the murder. Can they keep cool under pressure or is this the beginning of the end for the Ahmed siblings? As always, feedback is much appreciated. Thank you to everyone who favourites, comments and subscribes. Your support means a lot to us. :)


	36. Fortune's Turning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria and Assef had a rather awkward conversation about his confusing sexuality. He confessed to her that he is not yet aware as to what he is, exactly and the siblings decided to leave it for the time being. Adia also came to visit and she and Saria managed to reconcile their differences somewhat. However, this happy and peaceful moment came crashing down when Assef informed his sister that the police are on their way. We continue right where the last chapter left off...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to Christany for her help and support in the creation of ideas for this chapter and this series. Thank you also to fellow fanfiction author, Writergirl64 for her continuous support of this series, it is much appreciated... :D

My ears were ringing. I could feel sweat forming on my brow, dripping down my face, my lower lip seeming to quiver on its own accord. The walls in my room almost seemed to be closing in. I feared the gates of hell would open and the Devil himself would reach out to drag me down into his fiery abyss. I could feel the blood rushing to my head, making me incredibly dizzy and light-headed. I swayed on my feet, rocking back and forth. 'I'm going to collapse,' I thought. 'I'm going to fucking collapse.' I suddenly gripped the edge of my bed, my fingernails digging so tightly into the sheets that I could feel them ripping. My knees buckled underneath me and I would have fallen flat on my ass had I not managed to, thankfully, hold myself up.

Adia looked at me, her big, brown eyes wide in concern. She reached out to take my hand in hers, but I pulled away, not wanting any human contact in this moment. My heart was pounding in my chest, like a bird trying to free itself from the confines of my ribcage.

"Saria?"

It was as if there was something caught in my throat, choking me, preventing me from breathing. What the fuck was it? I opened and closed my mouth, feeling like a damn goldfish. I must have looked like a complete idiot. I definitely felt like one.

"Saria?" I was barely aware of my brother calling my name, barely aware of the concerned look on his face, his brow crinkled in worry, taking a step forward, hand outstretched, placing it on my shoulder. "Saria, kiddo, are you okay?'' The look in his eyes showed a deep, profound concern for my well being. He tilted my head up so I was looking into his eyes, their deep blue so much like my own, so filled with anxiety, for both I and the situation we now found ourselves in. God. Why couldn't my fucking life be normal?

I wasn't asking for much, just the chance to keep myself and my loved ones safe? Why did that seem to be an impossible dream? Why was it that every time something good happened, every goddamn fucking time I seemed to be making progress, the cruel hands of fate would rip each bit of peaceful serenity out from under me, sending me crashing back down to the harsh, bleak reality that was my life.

"Saria?!" Assef asked again, even more frantically this time. But I couldn't answer him. No, there was still something wedged in my throat. Something.. a word.. I don't know, that I couldn't get out. I had literally been struck dumb by the weight of the news he had brought me. "Kiddo, you're scaring me now. Please. Talk to me."

I gripped the bed sheets tighter, turning my head away from Assef as I buried my face in the crook of my elbow. A sound akin to a broken, gargled sob escaped my lips and I began to quake and shiver, my knees knocking together. Assef stood frozen, not knowing what to say or do to help. And what exactly _could_ he do? This was just another one of those times where nothing Assef and I could say or do would make it better.

"Saria Ahmed. You answer me right now!" Assef ordered, turning me round to face him.

I opened my mouth, tears now streaming full force down my cheeks. "W-what? What? I-I.. what do you mean the p-police are coming here? WHY?" I shrieked, my legs finally giving way, breaking like two stilts as I crumpled into a heap on the ground.

Why.

Yes, that was the word I was choking on.

Assef took my little hands in his, gently helping me back to my feet. He looked so concerned, so frantic. This was not a look my brother ought to wear and now he had it painted across his face, thanks to some asshole cops who were coming to question us. "It's.. it's going to be okay, kiddo. They just want to talk to us, that's all. It's nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to worry about? Nothing. to WORRY about?" Now this was just pouring more gasoline on the fire. Did he think me a fucking idiot? The police were coming to our house just four fucking days after we had committed murder and there was nothing to _worry_ about. Either my brother was being stupid or he had turned into a huge fucking optimist. Well, that shit was not going to fly with me. Not going to fly at _all_.

"Do you hear yourself, Assef? Do you fucking hear the words coming out of your mouth?" I threw my hands up in exasperation, pushing my brother away from me. "Are you fucking insane? ARE YOU?" I screamed at him in my frustration. "The police are coming here, one wrong damn fucking move and we could end up getting fucking executed for murder.. beheaded.. HUNG and you tell me not to worry?" I shook all over, my teeth clenched. "Have you lost all your fucking brain cells?"

Assef looked shocked by my outburst. Never before had I lashed out and spoken to him with such disrespect. He grabbed me by the shoulders, fingernails digging in, both of us trembling from pent-up rage. We were both stubborn, hot-headed individuals after all. "Sister, please! Please calm down! Everything is going to be just fine. Trust in me."

Snarling in frustration, I kicked the bed where Adia sat, making my gentle little sister whimper in terror and cower back away from me. In the back of my mind, another bout of guilt stung in the deepest level of my core. I knew she would be frightened of me again, so soon after we had just begun to rebuild the cracked, shattered mirror that was our relationship.

But I couldn't help it. Who could expect me to control my temper in the face of such news? I clenched my fists, pounding them repeatedly against the bed. I felt I could lash out at anyone who dared to get in my way, who dared to even look at me funny. Give me a gun or bomb and I would have destroyed the world. Assef tried to calm me but to no avail. I whizzed past him, like a hurricane, grabbing a hair brush from off my vanity desk. Assef and Adia were frozen like statues unable to do anything to calm the furious tornado that was Saria Ahmed.

"Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, chucking the brush across the room. It cracked off the wall, almost causing a dent, and clattered noisily to the floor.

What else could I throw? What else could I break? I looked around my room, tears cascading down my face, breathing heavily, eyes darting every which way, as if searching for an invisible foe that would come to take me away, to drag me into the murky abyss. Shit. What if the police found evidence? Had we really been that careful? What if they wanted to arrest us? To arrest Adia? We would be so fucked!

I picked up a nearby book from off my vanity desk, screaming, crying in rage and fear as I threw it at the door. It bounced once, the landed on the floor, pages lying open, the cover bent back. "You son of a bitch!" I howled, as if the book itself, this inanimate object, was the source of all my troubles and worries. As if by screaming at it, an answer would materialise itself in the worn, old pages.

Assef was frozen. Never before had he seen me act in such a fashion. His hands trembled at his sides, his eyes widening to the size of dinner plates. I was like an unstoppable force. Rationality was not on my side. Common sense had left me. The ability to think calmly? Yeah, fat chance of that! I was fueled now by terror, rage, self-loathing.. they were all circling in my mind, body and soul.. the pain.. the misery, it was non-stop.

Adia curled up into a tiny ball, resting her head on her knees, whimpering in terror as her so-called 'best friend' went on a rampage. But did I care? No! Everything.. mind, body, everything taken over by the horror of the situation. God. Why had I been so stupid? Why had I not known that something like this would happen? I stalked to the chair next to my vanity, the same one I had almost fallen off earlier this morning. As I gripped the edge of it, my gaze came upwards to rest upon my face in the mirror. My tear-stained cheeks, which were blotchy and red, my bloodshot eyes. God, I looked so hideous. Always so fucking hideous.

I hated the mere sight of myself. Hated it. How disgusting, foul, ugly.. what a monster.. I gritted my teeth, not even able to look in my own eyes. 'Have to.. if I... maybe if I.. smash.. need to get rid of that.. damn picture.. can't look at myself anymore.. no...'

"NO!"

With that, I used every bit of strength in my tiny body to pick the chair up, all with the intention of smashing that damn mirror, to hide my reflection from the world. Perhaps to crack the mirror would be to crack my soul and thus put an end to all my troubles. I swung the chair with all the force I had, which wasn't much on an average day, but somehow rage drove me on. Gave me power.

I would have broken my monstrous reflection into pieces had it not been for Assef. The moment he saw what I was about to do, he stepped up, throwing one arm around my waist while the other clutched the back of the chair. His grip was firm, like iron and I knew he wasn't going to just let me go anytime soon.

Though that certainly wasn't going to stop me from screaming bloody murder.

''Assef! Assef, put me the fuck down! Let me go, you fucker! Let me go! I need to.. I have to... FUCK!'' I writhed against him like a fish caught on a hook, grabbing for the chair, the mere sight of myself causing the never-ending fire within me to burn with an even greater flame. I twisted, growling, wanting him to just put me the fuck down. ''ASSSEFFFFF! LET ME GO! NOWWW!''

''No, Saria. Not until you've calmed down. For goodness sake, kiddo, you're really overreacting. Just put the chair down, honey, please! Stop struggling against me and let's actually talk about this. Let's sort it out together like we always do. Please, Saria, calm down! This... this isn't helping!"

Yet who could truly control me in the face of such rage? With my brother holding me, and me grabbing so desperately for the chair, for anything I could use to smash that damn mirror, we continued to struggle against each other. Not something I am particularly proud to recall. "No! No! Put me down! Fucking... fuck.. police.. gonna be arrested! We're going to be arrested! FUCK!"

"We're not going to be arrested, Saria. That's not why they're coming here! Would you just listen to me for all of five seconds?" Assef asked desperately, the weight of this argument really taking its toll on him. He slackened, just a little, which was enough to make us both fall forward. We would have collapsed had it not been for the chair somehow holding us both up.

"I can't... I can't.. I can't.." I whimpered over and over.

Assef's voice suddenly became more stern. More demanding. "Saria, you drop the chair now! I will not repeat myself.. Drop. it. NOW!" he raised his voice, shocking me into silence. I froze in place. How.. how dare he raise his voice to me? How fucking dare he?

'You wouldn't listen to him any other way,' a small voice in my head, which I believe was my conscience, piped up. Nice to hear from it again. So many things I owed my guilt and remorse to today. So many things I had done wrong and the day was only just beginning. God only knows what other horrors lay in store. I relinquished my grip on the chair, as it fell on its side with a loud, echoing clang. My tired body fell limply against my brother's arms. I closed my eyes, breathing raggedly, tears still streaming down my face, this time not of rage and self-loathing but of remorse and guilt. I sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed.

Assef's breath hitched. He loosened his grip on me, causing me to go tumbling to the floor in a pathetic, forlorn heap. I drew my knees up to my chest, hugging myself round the middle as I cried my poor, fragile little heart out. I was a mess, an absolute fucking mess. I buried my face in my hands, not wanting to face them. I had completely humiliated myself in front of the two people I loved more than any other. In front of those for whom I reserved the deepest depths of respects for.

If that wasn't enough to make the tears flow without stopping, I don't know what is. "S-sorry.. sorry, so stupid.. I'm sorry," the words broke, my voice going hoarse, my throat aching, each word seeming to take more and more effort. "I'm such an idiot. I-I-I'm s-sorry. Sorry."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Adia look desperately at my brother, as though pleading with him to calm me down. Assef got down on his knees beside me, ever so caring and gentle as he wrapped his arms round my trembling form, pulling me onto his lap the way a parent does a scared toddler, which was exactly what I felt like. So pathetic and vulnerable. So unlike the violent, dangerous sociopath I am known to be.

"Kiddo," Assef whispered lovingly in my ear, his words measured carefully in German, "come on, it's okay. Calm down. Nobody is going to hurt you, you're not going to get arrested, not going to be taken away. The police have no idea we had anything to do with the murder, it's just a routine talk. They just want to ask a few questions and they'll be on their way. Don't worry about it. Do you think I'd ever let anything happen to you?"

I crumpled against him, wailing like a baby, saturating his chest with my tears. Assef rocked me back and forth, hushing me, humming an old German song under his breath as he always did when I was in a state of duress. ''I know. I'm... I shouldn't have acted like I did. I'm so sorry. I just... everything is falling apart!''

''No, no it's not, kiddo. Nothing is falling apart. We just have to stay one step ahead of those cops. That's all. We both know how easy it is to manipulate people, don't we?'' Assef nudged me in the ribs and I giggled through my tears. ''Teamwork. That's how we'll get through it. As a team, it's how we always do it. Right?'' he asked, running his fingers through my hair.

Now I could smile again. Trust my Assef to make me feel so much better about our predicament without even trying. I closed my eyes, my breathing slowly getting more careful and laboured as I settled back to reality. To some semblance of normality. ''I'm sorry I was so... well, such a brat.''

''It's okay, kiddo. I'm sorry I was harsh with you. That was wrong of me. I apologise for that,'' Assef said, ever so remorseful of causing me distress. Not that he needed to be. I was the one who had acted like a pathetic child. He had every right to be angry, to be harsh.

''Can we just, please, forget about this? I'm ashamed to have broken down like I did. I loathe myself even more for that,'' I said in a voice barely above a whisper.

Assef gave me a stern look. He always hated it whenever I referred to myself in a negative manner. It was one thing he couldn't stand from me, my never-ending cycle of self-loathing. Not that I could blame him. If my Assef thought this way about himself, I'd be pretty damn upset too. Still, my internal hatred has always been a part of me and I can bet it always will be.

"Fine. We'll just let it go. But think no more on it, sister. They've given no indications that they know we were the ones responsible. You just need to be as sweet and innocent as you always are with people. Okay? All it will take is a few lies. That's all. We did it before and we sure as hell can do it again. Lying to people is second nature to us, is it not?" he spoke gently.

"I-I guess," I sniffled, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

''See? All will be fine, kiddo. Now, dry your eyes. You don't want to look like you've been crying when they arrive, now do you?"

I shook my head. Assef gently wiped a few tears from off my cheeks. "Good girl. We'll get through it, you have my word on that. Trust me."

But despite his comforting words, there was still a huge problem that we had to face. Did the police want to talk to Adia? I knew full well that she would not be able to remain as calm as Assef or I could. She did not know how to lie to law enforcement the way that we did. Her conscience would make her slip up. Not that I ever held this against my little sister, no. Her innocence was part of the reason I loved her so deeply, after all. Still, keeping us all out of hot water was a big priority, the main priority for me.

Without another word to Assef, I got to my feet and began making my way to Adia. She trembled all over as I approached, as if terrified I would lash out and hit her. As if she would be the one punished for my rage, for the situation we found ourselves in. My countenance became even more docile, ever so caring as I took my place on the bed next to her. I cradled her head on my shoulder, stroking her hair, gently hushing her. "I'm sorry you had to see that, sweetheart. You just take it easy because none of this is your fault. None of it. Okay?"

Adia closed her eyes, her body going almost limp in my arms. It was heartbreaking to see a girl who I loved so deeply be so hurt by my own actions. I felt as though my soul could snap in two. Empathy was not something I often felt and when it did hit, it came at me like a freight train. I knew full well that if needs be I would lay down my life for the people here in this room with me.

I lifted Adia's head from off my shoulders and looked into her eyes. "You need to listen to me, sweetie. Everything will be just fine if you do exactly as I say. Do I have your full attention?"

She nodded, and I continued. "Good. Now, you need to leave. Go through the back door. Get home. Do not talk to anyone. Do not stick around town. Just get straight home. Am I clear on this?"

"Y-yes, Saria. Yes, khanom. Crystal clear."

I brushed a lock of hair back from her eyes, wanting to provide just some minimal amount of comfort to the poor, forlorn child. I wanted her to see that there was no more reason to be afraid of me. "Good girl. This is _very_ important. I doubt the police will want to talk to you, but if they do, you give them no indication whatsoever that you know anything of what happened to Farsef. If they ask where you were on that day, you'll say you were out with Kamal. You two are each other's alibi's. Do you understand me?"

She stole a glance at Assef, who stood over her with his arms crossed on his chest. Adia bit her lip, I could sense a cold shiver go through her at the look on my brother's face. God, how I abhorred the tension in the room. But there's no more need for me to bitch and moan about that, is there? I placed my hand under Adia's chin, tenderly, yet with a firmness that let her know I still meant business. She needed to obey me. She needed to bend herself completely to my will and control. It was all for her own good. "One more time, I'll ask you, Adia jan. Do you understand me?"

"I-I understand," she whimpered, clearly terrified of me again. I wrapped my arms round her, kissed her on the side of the head and rubbed her back. I wanted to show just how loving and caring I really had the potential of being. That I wasn't this cold-blooded monster so many others perceived me as.

After a few minutes, Adia straightened up, moving away from me. She wiped the last remaining tears from her cheeks with the heel of her hand, straightened her collar and began to make her way to the door. "I.." she hesitated. "Goodbye, k-khanom.. agha.. I-I.. good luck."

"As if we need it," Assef quipped, reaching out to take my hand in his. There was a light, teasing edge to his voice, merely jesting with Adia. She gave a shaky smile, then turned and left. I listened intently to her footsteps on the stairs, across the hall, through the kitchen, all the way until the back door slammed shut. "There's one less problem to deal with, kiddo," Assef said optimistically. He sat on the bed next to me, wrapping one arm across my shoulder. "Are you feeling better? Have you calmed down?"

I nodded, opening my mouth as if to apologise again, but then decided against it. There would be time enough for talk later.

"Good. Go and wash up a little bit. They'll be here in a few minutes."

Assef straightened up, leaning over to press a final kiss to the side of my head. "Let's take it in stride today, kiddo. Let's.. stay calm?" he gave me a pointed stare. "Alright?"

Inwardly I noted just how hypocritical my brother's request was. He was no stranger to losing his head in times of crisis, after all. How many times had his frustration gotten the better of him, made him lose all rational thought? It was where I got it from, I'm betting. Still, I knew it better than to bring this up and cause any further tension. There was more than enough of that to last us a lifetime. I nodded, giving him a small, sheepish look. Assef left the room, closing the door behind him so as to give me my privacy. I stood, looking around at the destruction I had caused. The place looked as if a bomb had hit it, literally.

My chair lay on its side, having knocked half the contents of my vanity desk down with it, my once neatly made bed now messy once again. Papers, hairbrush, ribbons, books, all lay strewn across the floor. I kicked them out of the way as I made my way over to my wardrobe. "I'll clean this shit up later," I grumbled to myself.

I looked down at myself, removing some loose threads from off my dress. Bending down, I picked up the hairbrush I had thrown and ran it through my curled blonde hair. I wanted, no I needed to look as dainty and innocent as possible today. My brother and I would have to really watch every word that came out of our mouths. One wrong word, one slip-up and we would both be in deep, deep shit. Both up the creek without a paddle, as the saying goes.

"For God's sake, Saria, stop thinking like this, you dumb bitch!" My closed fist found it's target in the side of my skull, once, twice, three times. I hit myself in self-punishment. "Assef told you everything would be fine. Have you no faith in your own brother? Have you no confidence in his words? Keep your fucking head, idiot. If anything goes wrong today, it will be on your conscience. Yours and yours alone."

As usual, my own mind was turning against me. I could really fucking do without that. It took such a great effort to look at myself in the mirror. My ponytail was now sticking up all over the fucking place. I unhooked the ribbon and ran the brush through it again. 'I'll just leave it down, looks better that way,' I decided. I wanted to at least give the impression of beauty and innocence, after all. Even though I was none of those things. I fixed another, smaller ribbon in the side of my hair, checking to make absolutely sure it was as perfect as I could make it. Didn't want to give off the wrong impression, now did I?

"Ready, kiddo?"

I was startled out of my morose reverie by Assef's voice. He stood in the doorway, arms folded over his chest, hair neatly combed back, dressed smartly in trousers and shirt, We both smiled at each other, hoping to instil some of the confidence we both so desperately needed.

"Ready." I hugged my brother around the waist, breathing in his familiar scent, trying to soak up his love, compassion and warmth. God knows I needed it. There was a loud knock on the door, startling us both. I could feel Assef's heartbeat quicken as I clutched onto him like a frightened little girl, which is exactly what I was at that moment. All the confidence, all the cockiness I usually held had all but vanished.

Assef stroked the back of my hair. "Let's not beat about the bush, sis. Remember; this will be a complete cakewalk for us both. We are intelligent people, are we not? We'll be ten steps ahead of those idiots all the way and you know it."

He took my hand in his, the feeling of him being so close providing me some level of serenity and peace to my frazzled mind. "You're right, brother. You're absolutely right. Let's just get this over with, shall we?"

My brother nodded, leading me out of my room, closing the door behind him. Another panicked thought raced through me, making me freeze up at the top of the stairs. Assef turned, a look of concern painting his features.

"Sar? What is it? What's wrong?" he asked in German, brushing a lock of hair from my face.

"Assef.." I hesitated. Did I really need to worry him further? Surely my terror was unfounded. There was no way the police would want to.. to search our rooms. Was there? Still, I knew it better to confess my worries than to just let myself stew over it.

"I was just... I was thinking.. what if they want to search.. our rooms? I have the evidence in mine. If they find that.. God!"

Assef raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Kiddo, you have a real imagination, did I ever tell you that? You really think of the worst case scenarios." He reached out and ruffled my hair, laughing slightly. "This has nothing to do with the murder. They are not going to arrest us, or check for evidence, or anything like that. I do _not_ want you thinking like that. I've told you once and I'll tell you again, this is just a simple bump in the road. Nothing more, nothing less. Promise me you won't be panicking anymore? You'll seem suspicious if you are."

"Alright, brother. I'll be.. I won't act so.. suspicious. It's just hard not to worry about such things. You know how I am."

The knock on the door came again, louder this time. They were really impatient. I rolled my eyes. "Let's answer them before we wind up in jail for being too fucking slow," I teased.

Assef smiled. "See? There's the sense of humour I love from you." He jabbed me in the ribs, and I giggled, finally allowing myself some morsel of happiness. Assef extended his hand out to me. "Now. Shall we?"

"We shall."

Together, we made our way down to the door. Assef reached up, pulling back the chain and unlocking it. I took a sharp intake of breath as I stared up into the faces of the two policemen standing before us. Both were dressed in traditional uniform, a tall, lean man in his thirties, accompanied by a stouter male who looked to be about forty or thereabouts.

A cold shiver ran through me at the very sight of them, making me want to just turn around and run as far as I could in the opposite direction. "Salaam, agha," my brother said, inclining his head politely. ''Please, come in.'' He stood back, hand extended, allowing them access to our home. The officers stepped inside, removing their hats, as was polite custom to do when one enters another's home.

I looked up at them, digging my nails into Assef's palm, my lips parted slightly. Assef squeezed my tiny hand in reassurance.

''Salaam,'' the taller officer said. He had a gruff, unfriendly voice, as if he were annoyed at being here and were blaming us for this inconvenience. ''I am Officer Basir, and this...'' he gestured to the stouter man standing beside him, ''this is my partner Officer Bazya.''

Assef shook both of their hands. ''It is a pleasure to meet you both.''

'Yeah,' I snorted internally. 'As much a pleasure as a hole in the fucking head.'

God. Why couldn't I just run? Why couldn't I get out of there? ''My name is Assef Ahmed, and this is my little sister, Saria.'' He placed his hands upon my shoulders and gently shoved me forward, as though presenting me to the world. Boy did I feel self-conscious. I placed one leg behind the other, bending my knees in a deep, dainty little curtsy. My jaw ached from the huge grin I had plastered upon my face. I could feel their stares bearing down on me, their eyes fixed on the hideous excuse of a dress that I was wearing. Yes, I know, I look a fucking state, do they really need to gawk at me?

'Don't glare at them, Saria, just keep smiling. Keep playing the part,' I told myself over and over, feeling my brother's hands pressing firmly onto my shoulders. "Hello, sir," I said, remembering to keep my voice light and innocent. Just the way a normal little girl would speak. "Welcome to my.. _our_ home." I gave a look to my brother, who smiled slightly in reassurance.

'What are you so fucking tense for?' I asked myself. 'You know how to fool these people, you did it so many times before. They'll be eating out of your hands, the naive, idiotic cunts.' It was with this thought giving me more confidence that I extended my tiny hand out for Officer Bazya to shake.

A wide grin spread across his face as he took my hand, bending to place a gentle kiss upon the back of it. I swallowed bile. How disgusting! When he spoke, it was in the same whiny, nasally baby-voice people use when talking to toddlers. "And hello to you too, Saria. What an absolutely beautiful little girl you are. How old are you, sweetie? Eight?"

Oh fuck no. Eight? For fucks sake! I know I looked small, but hearing that still made my blood fucking boil. I gritted my teeth, inwardly imagining myself holding a knife and digging it into this intruding man's flesh. There, deep in the dark recesses of my twisted, sadistic psyche, I could happily envision myself, with the blade in hand, slicing through Officer Bazya's flesh. Oh, how wonderful it would be to hear him scream, to make him beg for his pathetic life. He wouldn't think I was so sweet then, would he?

But alas, all I could do now was merely play my role to the best of my ability. My handshake was limp, my eyebrow raised in slight annoyance, but still I plastered on my sweetest smile "I am twelve years old, sir." I had to measure each word carefully, ensure I was not speaking with anything less than the utmost respect. Meek and demure, that's how I must present myself.

The officer's looked at each other, then back to me, wide-eyed and disbelieving. Officer Bazya's jaw dropped slightly, his eyes narrowing in confusing. I blinked up at him, the sweet smile still gracing my lips. Inside was a completely different story. I was raging; a boiling ember, ticking time bomb ready to explode. My height was not something I liked to be judged on. Yes, I'm short. Yes, I look a lot younger than I am. Do I really deserve to be stared at and ridiculed over it? To be spoken down to like some idiotic, naive child?

No, I rather think I didn't. Officer Basir took my hand in his. His grip was firm, painful almost. I winced, almost expecting to hear the bones in my hand crack. "It's very nice to meet you, Saria," he said, though his tone conveyed a different opinion on the matter. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know these men did not want to be here, that they viewed my Assef and I as no more than annoyances.

'Fuckers would probably prefer to stuff their faces with doughnuts,' I thought to myself, barely able to suppress the nervous giggle that threatened to escape my tightly shut lips.

"Please," my Assef said, gesturing to the living room, "follow us. This will be a much more comfortable spot for us to talk in."

We made our way into the living room. I stood, awkwardly, looking down at my feet, feeling like a stranger in my own home. Officer Basir pulled up two chairs that had been stacked in the corner, gesturing with one hand for his partner to sit beside him. I watched as Officer Bazya took out a large clipboard and ball point pen, obviously for taking down notes with. Another cold shiver started up my back. Now I really needed to be careful. Every word I spoke would be written down, immortalised on pen and paper for all to see. Yes, I was scared, who wouldn't be?

''Before we begin,'' the obese cunt said, ''there is something I'd like to ask you two. We can speak with you both now. Or, if you would prefer, Assef.. Saria can leave the room and we will question both of you separately. Of course, the decision is entirely down to you.'' He looked pointedly at my brother, who instinctively wrapped both arms around me and drew me in close, my head resting snugly against his waist. The policemen looked at each other, eyebrows raised, then focused their attention on us once more.

''Please, sir,'' I begged, hating the whiny tone in my voice. It reminded me so much of how my many victims would beg me for mercy or forgiveness. How I despised having to lower myself like this. But I knew there was no other choice. ''Please don't make me leave. I really w-wanna stay with my brother. I don't want to talk separately. I..'' I looked up at Assef, eyes wide with childlike desperation, ''Assef, don't make me leave!''

Assef looked just about as stunned by my pleas as the officers were. ''She..'' he looked down at me, ''she gets very shy around people whom she doesn't know. Please don't take any offence. With all due respect, it would be much easier for us all if you were to speak with both of us together. After all, anything you wish to say to me, you can say in front of my sister.''

The officer's nodded in unison, gesturing for us to take our seats. Like I needed his permission to fucking sit down in my own fucking home. 'Okay, Saria, take it easy, you just need to get through this, it'll be fine. Just answer any question they ask you, give them no reason to suspect you are anything less than perfect.'

I slowly lowered myself into the seat, looking pointedly at the officers across from us. To me they were no more than mosquitoes, ticks sent to suck out every last piece of information from my body. Oh, how I longed to become invisible. If only there was a cave I could crawl into. Yes, being a hermit sounded quite favourable now, didn't it?

"Sister," Assef leaned over to whisper in my ear, his accent more pronounced as it always was when he spoke in German, "you're looking frazzled. Calm. Take deep breaths." He placed a hand on my back as I leaned into his warm, inviting touch.

"Ahem," Officer Basir cleared his throat, drumming his fingers against the chair impatiently. "Forgive me for my bluntness but we must waste no more time in getting this interview over and done with."

Assef nodded, "Caa, agha. Caa, we understand."

Officer Bazya placed the pen against the clipboard, poised and ready to write. "Just for the record," he said, "we must get a few basic details about you both." He addressed my brother first. "Please correct me if I'm wrong on any of this. Assef Ahmed, seventeen-years-old, Pashtun, son of Mahmood Ahmed and his wife, Tanya. Is this information correct?"

My brother nodded once. "A verbal answer, Mr. Ahmed," Basir's voice was sharp, demanding. I instantly felt myself tense up. The seeds of rage were being watered, and if this cunt wasn't careful, he would set a downpour of unfathomable hatred upon himself. How dare he have the audacity, the sheer gall to speak to Assef that way? Assef, who deserved nothing less than the utmost respect from these fuckers. Who shouldn't ever be talked to like he was no more than a foolish child!

"Yes. Yes, that is correct," Assef gritted through his teeth. It must have been so hard for him not to get up and punch Officer Basir's lights out. I sure fucking wanted to.

"Good. Verbal responses will be expected of both of you, let me make that clear. Now,'' he looked at me, ''again, correct me if I'm wrong on this. Saria Ahmed, twelve-years-old, Pashtun, daughter of Mahmood and Tanya Ahmed. Is this right?"

"Yes, sir, that is all correct."

I would not give him even one reason to suspect me of anything. How I wished I could just crawl into my brother's arms and have him hold me until this sordid ordeal was over. Believe me, there were a thousand places I would rather be than here. Alas, I had little choice but to play along.

"Good," Bayza smiled at me. His gentle nature was quite the contrast to his partner's stern demeanour. Still, my loathing for these men was not going to be extinguished very soon. They dared to come into my home, to question my brother and I like common criminals. Yes, yes, I know, we are criminals.. but with good reason. Good. Fucking. Reason. But I knew these fuckers wouldn't ever have the brain cells to comprehend this. God, why could I not just fucking kill them? Why must we be subjected to this?

"There is something very important we wish to speak to you about. It.." Bazya looked at me, a strangely concerned look on his face. "And.. it is something that may be quite hard for you both to talk about. It.." he cleared his throat. "Saria, it has come to our attention that you were badly beaten approximately three months ago."

Badly beaten? When the fuck was I- oh. Aarash. That's what they were here to talk about. I felt yet another shiver go through me at his words. Memories were flooding back. Every punch, every kick, his hands touching me.. The pain... the misery.. oh, how much had I lost in those fateful hours. I covered my mouth with one hand, the other grabbing Assef's arm for comfort. "I-I.. yes.. yes I was beaten.. it.."

''And I know it will be so hard for you to relive that day, but the reason we need to speak to you both about is, well, to put it bluntly, we believe there could be a connection between the beating that Saria took and the murder that happened in the woods four days ago."

I almost wanted to laugh in joy. Were my ears deceiving me? Was he honestly suggesting that the 'unknown Hazara man' who had beaten me could have something to do with Farsef's murder? That the two crimes were, as he put it, connected in some way? I bowed my head, my tiny fingers fiddling with the skirts of my dress, hunched over, as though afraid to say another word. Assef's free hand, the one that wasn't clutching to my arm, balled up into a tight fist.

Officer Basir cut straight to the chase. "Yes, well.. as my partner said, we believe these two incidences could be connected in some way. This is why it is imperative that Saria details everything about that day. Leave no stone unturned. Do you understand?"

I nodded. "Yes.. yes, sir."

"Good. Now Saria, can you please tell us about what happened the day you were beaten."

Fuck, he was really nonchalant about the whole thing! Did he not realise this was the worst fucking day of my life? Did he not comprehend the true depths of my abysmal suffering? Seriously, he might well have said "tell me about the weather, Saria" for all the emotion he put into that statement. I lifted my head slowly, hardly able to make eye-contact with the men seated across from me. Time to take centre stage. This room was my theatre, and I it's rising star!

"It.. it happened in an alleyway.." I began, measuring each word carefully, "my.. my brother and I.. we had gone for a walk.. and I remember.. it was g-getting dark.. s-so we d-decided to.. to take a shortcut. We'd taken it every night since.. ever since I can recall.. and nothing bad had ever happened before so how were we to know... I mean.." I trailed off for a minute, trying to gather my thoughts.

Assef rubbed my back, soft circles to bring comfort to my broken mind. "It's okay, kiddo. You're doing so well, keep going."

The clicking of Bazya's pen provided the only sound in the otherwise tersely silent room. I trembled, whether from memory of what Aarash had done or my own nerves getting the better of me I did not know. I almost had to force each word from my mouth. "This.. H-Hazara man.. he j-just c-came out of nowhere. I... he.. grabbed me by the a-arms and knocked me to the ground. It hurt so much.. He just started hitting and kicking me.. I.. begged and begged for him to stop but he wouldn't.. he said I-I d-deserved it.."

Bazya had to stop for a moment to gather himself, the pen shaking in his hand. He looked so hurt, so empathic to my plight. Do you think I gave a shit? No, thought so! "You didn't deserve this, Saria jan. NOBODY deserves such a terrible ordeal." He paused for a moment, wiping his eyes, ever so moist with tears for poor, sweet Saria. If only he knew who I really was, the true horrors of what the tiny girl seated across from him was capable of. The true cruelty which my own hands had dealt upon the world. I don't think he'd be crying for me then. "You're being so brave, little one. I know how much it must hurt for you to relive this."

"Yes.. yes.. I-I.. it's not something I ever wanted to remember. Not again. But, if it helps to catch the bad man who hurt me, I'm willing to do it," I gave a small smile, wanting to get their sympathy, their understanding. "He just hit and kicked me over and over. It... I was so scared! It hurt so much.. why did he hurt me? WHY?"

Assef cut across me, his hand squeezing mine. "Officers, the man who did this to my sister. He.. threatened that he would.. kill her and I if we ever told of what he had done. I need to know, please, please promise me she will stay safe."

Basir's response was sharp, short, direct to the point. "You need not worry about that. Assef, my partner and I can see how much you love your little sister. It's something that we can both admire from you. But I can assure you that this man will not bring any more harm to you or her.''

''Thank you, sir. That makes me feel somewhat more confident. I would do anything to keep my sister safe, she is the world to me.'' Assef's response, the sincerity behind every word, it truly warmed my heart.

Officer Basir nodded, gesturing for his partner to continue writing. ''It is our understanding, Saria, that Doctor Behnam oversaw your treatment in the hospital for the duration of your stay. Could you perhaps tell us a little about him? About what your treatment was like?"

Oh, this was fucking good. Now I could really play up the innocent little girl role. Every word that came from my mouth I must ensure would land Dr Behnam in some serious hot water. I looked down at my feet, pretending to be embarrassed to utter even a single word. "I-I.." I started, "well.. uh.. he was very.. he was quite.. rude.. if I may say that."

"You may, Saria. Honesty is the best policy here, after all. He was rude to you?" Bazya scribbled this down. "Could you explain how?"

"He.." I glanced at Assef, who gave a nod for me to continue. "When I was being operated on, I-I wanted my brother to stay with me. I was really scared and.. I just needed some comfort. But the doctor wouldn't let him go in. He said that.. that only parents were allowed to go in with patients. I begged and pleaded with him to let my brother stay with me but he just snubbed me."

The officers looked at each other. I could tell my little sob story wasn't pulling on their heartstrings, yet. But that would all change soon enough. Assef cleared his throat, leaning forward to speak to the officers, as though about to divulge a huge secret. "She's right. Dr. Behnam was incredibly hostile towards both of us. Towards me especially. I tried to ask him politely if I could stay with my sister, but he just completely lost his temper with me. Never in my life had I been treated so disrespectfully. Honestly, it's a wonder he didn't hit me. I was sure he would. It.. How a man like that can become a doctor is absolutely beyond me."

I played along with Assef's story, knowing it was no more than a pack of lies. Trust me, if Dr. Behnam had truly dared to lay even one single finger upon my brother, he would be another rotting corpse lying in an early grave. Assef wrapped an arm around me as I lay my head upon his chest, blinking innocently at the men across from us. "He.. yes.. he was so mean. So, so mean. He was so cranky," I kept my words simple, childish. Let them feel for poor innocent Saria. I would twist their emotions to my satisfaction. "I was so scared.. I-I.."

Assef leaned over to give me a kiss on the forehead. "It's okay, little sister. You're in no danger, not anymore." I knew of course there was a double meaning behind his words. He squeezed my little hand reassuringly.

I wiped my eyes with the heel of my hand, a short whimper eliciting from my lips. I knew I needed to get out of that room, if even for a minute. "Sir?" I addressed Officer Basir, "would you like me to make you a cup of tea? Surely you must be thirsty.. would you like that?" Oh please say yes, please say yes! I wouldn't be able to fucking breathe if I stayed in that room a second longer!

"That's a very sweet thing for you to offer, honey," Officer Bazya smiled. I almost rolled my eyes, but managed to refrain myself at the last moment. Honey, really? Don't make me fucking laugh! ''Yes, we would like that. Thank you."

Assef stood up, brushing fluff from off his shirt. "I'm going to help my sister with the tea," he told the officers. Undoubtedly no more than another ruse to get us both out of there. I was well capable of preparing my own cup of tea, after all. But I knew Assef needed to get away from this ordeal just the same as I did. Perhaps then we would have some few minutes to gather our thoughts once more. Assef's grip on my arm was firm as we left the room, the door clattering noisily shut in our wake, leaving the two officers to their own devices.

I spoke not a word to my brother as I practically dragged him through the hall and into the kitchen. Even with things going my way so far I still would not allow myself to feel even the slightest optimistic thought. There were still so many obstacles ahead for us to face. Fate's hand could turn her fortune to despair in but a single instance. I knew only too well how clear skies could turn stormy in but a fraction of a minute.

Assef broke the silence, his words in our mother's native language. "I'll get to making that tea, shall I? You put some biscuits on a tray, no doubt that fat piece of lard will want some." Again, my brother managed to make me laugh in spite of the war being waged in my tormented psyche. I hugged him around the waist for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, basking in the familiar warmth and safety I felt from being in his embrace. I could stay like this for an eternity. Safe with the one person who I truly loved with every fibre of my being.

Alas, there was still another mountain for us to climb. It was with a heavy heart that I untangled myself from my brother's hold and set about preparing biscuits on a tray, feeling like a common slave. It was Hamilra's job to wait upon people, to adhere to their every whim and fancy, not mine and not my brother's. My hands trembled as I fetched two ceramic plates, laying them upon the tray as my brother poured two pouring piping hot cups of tea. "I'll carry this," he said, gesturing to it.

Nearing the living room door once again, I overheard the officers talking, voices hushed, as if they were afraid of who might hear. I gestured for Assef to stop, for he was about to push the door open. He gave me a confused look, cocking his head slightly to the right. "I want to listen," was all the explanation I needed to give.

"Alright." He put a hand upon my shoulder, fingers caressing my skin as he rubbed my arm. There were no more words spoken between us, all our focus now on the conversation not at all meant for our ears.

"Interesting, isn't it, what the kid said about Dr. Behnam," I heard Basir say. ''I have to admit, I never thought him the type to be that rude, especially not to a little girl, but...''

''But you know as well as I do in this profession to expect the unexpected. And if what his wife told us over the phone is true...''

Wife? Now that had my attention. I pressed my side up against the door, my palm resting on the wood, quiet as a mouse, keeping even my breath hushed and still. Behnam's own wife had suspicions about him, so much so she'd contacted the authorities. Obviously the man was not as clean cut as he made himself out to be. Perhaps he may even possess a heart as cruel and twisted as mine. Whatever the reason, I was dying to find out. I listened closer.

''Do you really believe that?'' It was Bazya speaking now, and he sounded exasperated. ''I know the man's a bit... unorthodox.. but do you honestly think he'd be capable of.. of something like this?''

I couldn't see Basir's expression but I would bet any money it was one of sheer distaste. I had known the man only a mere hour, if that, and I already got that 'holier than thou' and 'I'm right, you're wrong' vibe from him. Reading people has always been a skill of mine, and this man was an open book.

My brother's hands shook under the weight of the tray, his lips pursed into a thick line, jaw clenched. ''Es tut Mir leid,'' I muttered in German. I'm sorry. And I was. He shouldn't be made suffer and labour like this. I've already stated how Assef is so much more important than anyone else in this world. He shouldn't be caused even the slightest annoyance. But that said, this conversation was too vital for me not to hear.

I made a sweeping, dismissive gesture with one hand, motioning for him to put the tray down on the stairs, which he did, before taking a seat himself, tray at his side, arms folded over his knees. We gave each other a knowing look, before I turned my attention back on the door once again.

''Maybe. Maybe not. But you heard what his wife said. He'd been missing for almost the entire day when that little boy died. No alibi. No reason. Just.. gone. It doesn't seem too likely that a doctor would just disappear for the day and give no explanation now, does it?''

A snort. ''It also doesn't seem likely that a doctor would so gruesomely torture a boy to death.''

''But perhaps he didn't. Perhaps.. he wasn't alone.''

''You don't think.. the same man that..?'' Bazya's voice rose an octave, make that two octaves actually, a clear indicator of how shocked he was by his partner's accusations. 'Join the club, fucker,' I thought, drumming my fingers one by one against my thigh.

''The same man who beat Saria? Think about it.. If he and Behnam knew each other personally, were friends perhaps, if Farsef somehow found out what he'd done, well then maybe he would have helped kill the boy. People will do extremely unethical things if it comes down to protecting others they care for. Even those who you least expect.''

I thought then of Adia, of how she had practically begged me for the chance to punish Aarash for his crimes against us. Of how Kamal had so readily defended me when Aarash made his vile threats. Both people who I never would suspect capable of such passionate anger. Both willing to defend me, to defend my brother. There seemed to be more truth in Basir's simple words than he realised.

''I don't know..'' Bazya was saying, ''I honestly don't.. It's just.. well it's food for thought, is it not?"

Assef gave me a knowing look. No words needed to be spoken between us, not that there could be in any case without fear of getting caught eavesdropping. Silently, Assef got to his feet once again, picking up the tray as he nodded for us both to go back inside. I pushed the door open gently, startling the two men out of their rapport. Basir turned his head to face me, the slightest hint of a smile gracing his lips. He opened both hands out to the side in a welcoming gesture, though his eyes betrayed the irritance he felt at having been so rudely interrupted.

''Your tea is ready, sir.'' I bent my knees in polite curtsy, the ideal image of servitude, as my brother set the tray upon the coffee table. ''We didn't know if you took sugar or not so..''

Bazya waved me off with a dismissive hand. ''Nay, it's fine, little one. Take a seat again, why don't you?''

'Why don't you shut the fuck up and quit giving me orders in my own home?' I so desperately longed to scream this in their faces, spit in those cups and force them to drink from it. I wanted them to taste true horror, to know the real meaning of fear. Oh, how I longed for punishment to be doled out to these fools, both of whom deserved it equally in my eyes. But I had my chance to play God and it was not today. Unfortunate, yes, but that's how the wheel of life spins sometimes.

''Now,'' Officer Basir said, taking a sip of tea while Bazya dug into the biscuits, leaving his disgustingly fat face covered in crumbs. I suppressed bile as I looked again at the floor. ''I believe we were discussing Dr. Behnam, nay?''

''Yes, sir,'' Assef nodded politely. He folded his hands neatly in his lap, lips pursed in a thin line. "About how impolite he was towards me. Towards my sister. Even after they took her away to be operated on.. I got this vibe from him, you know? He was truly hostile. As if we'd encroached onto his territory, as if our very presence was a hindrance to him."

I truly had to admire my brother's manipulative side. The soft inflection of his voice, the way he humbled himself to the officer's whims. It would be hard for anyone not to believe in him, or to be on his side. Just another talent of Assef's that I had picked up. I swung my little legs back and forth childishly, nodding in agreement to each word. "Yeah. I don't think Dr. Behnam liked us very much."

Officer Bazya, the retarded, sympathetic cunt, reached across the coffee table and took my hand. It looked so dwarfed in his much larger one. I almost recoiled away from him. He smiled, that very same cheesy grin one gives to a baby in a fucking pushchair. "I don't see why anyone wouldn't like you, Saria, you're a very sweet little girl." Just another fool taken in by my charm. I merely smiled in response.

"Tashakor, agha."

"You're very welcome, Saria jan."

Officer Basir cleared his throat, shooting his partner a fierce glare. He seemed rather pissed off that Bazya was letting his emotions get in the way of his 'work.' Ah, but that was the price of being around adorable little Saria, wasn't it? "We're almost finished this interview. There's just one more question we need to ask. Does the name Farsef Sajihdi mean anything to you?"

'Sajihdi.. so that's Aarash's surname,' I thought with indifferent interest. I nodded. "Yes.. he.. he went to the school just across the road from mine. We weren't friends per se but.. I knew him to see."

Another sharp nod. The pen clicked. "Yes, yes.. and.. did you two hear what happened to him?"

"He.." I hesitated. "I.. he.. he.. someone.. he..."

Just like that, the dam broke. All the fear, the regret, the shame I had felt over hurting Adia, the pain I still felt from what Aarash did to me, the absolute terror at the very idea these men sitting across from us could cuff us at any minute. Everything came at me, blinding me like a speeding train. Each emotion biting me, choking me. I couldn't hold back the sobs that had been building since those officers walked through the door.

Assef reached out, ever so caring, and pulled me onto his lap. I collapsed against him , face buried in his chest, whimpering and sobbing like no tomorrow. "Shh, kiddo, it's okay.. it's okay.." he cooed gently, rocking back and forth. "I apologise, officers, but I think if you've gotten all the information you need then you should leave. My sister is very.. fragile at the moment. Today has opened up so many old wounds for the both of us. Wounds that were not quite healed yet."

"O-of course.. I..." Bazya trailed off, the remorse of making me cry evident in his voice. "We'll be on our way now. Assef, Saria.. thank you very much for your time. If we have any more questions we'll contact you in due course." This was not what I wanted to hear. I let out another broken whimper and Assef's arms tightened around me.

"We'll see ourselves out.'' Officer Basir nodded his thanks for the final time. I turned my head a fraction of an inch, still tucked up in my brother's protective hold, and managed to force a little smile.

Bazya bent down so we were level, reaching out to stroke my cheek. I shied away from him, I would no longer tolerate his hands on me for any reason. ''I'm very sorry you're upset, sweetie. You just take it easy, okay? You're a very bright, lovely girl.''

I gave no answer, instead opting to clutch tighter to Assef's shirt. He drew me in, pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head. ''It's okay, kiddo, you're safe now. We're safe now, you don't need to worry,'' he whispered in German.

I rubbed at my eyes with my knuckles, like a small child. The door shut with a click as the officers took their leave, the monsters finally retreating. I slid off Assef's lap, taking my place once again by his side, leaning my head on his shoulder.

''They're really gone?'' I asked, barely able to believe it myself.

''Really. And I doubt they'll be coming back, kiddo. We beat them. Didn't I tell you we would?''

"I-I-I.. y-yes.. you did.. we're r-really.. it's all okay now?" I sounded so much like a pathetic child. I wanted to fucking kick myself! Saria Ahmed does not cry over shit like this. I balled my hands up into fists, gritting my teeth in self-frustration.

"It's all okay now, kiddo. They won't be back. We can breathe easy." He pulled me in for another hug, my head resting on his shoulder. For a long, silent moment, we just cuddled up with each other, soaking in one another's worries, pain and misery. I hardly dared to believe we were truly safe. I half expected a S.W.A.T team to come bursting through the doors and windows, to drag us both into waiting vans, lock us up and throw away the key.

I stood up, shaky on my feet. "I-I need to lie down. I-I don't want to go for l-lunch today anymore. I.. Sorry."

Without even letting Assef respond, I turned on my heel and bolted up the stairs, two at a time. I slammed the door to my room shut, falling backwards on my bed. Tears stained my cheeks, my head swirling with each thought that passed through me with another sense of foreboding.

True, we had won today. We had kept ourselves out of reach of the law, as we expertly knew how to do. But at what cost? I hurt so many people I loved, I took a life once again. Old wounds were open and bleeding once more. Farsef's life was lost, Adia's was forever changed.

I put my hands behind my head, looking up at the ceiling. 'It's how it should be,' I reminded myself. 'If it takes this pain to guide us towards a truly perfect world, then let the blood be spilt.'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter, Saria and her family pay their respects at Farsef's funeral. But can they really expect everything to run as smoothly as they hope or is there more heartache ahead? Thank you to all who read. Please leave any feedback you may have, we're always interested to hear opinions from the fans.


	37. Richter Scale Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, Saria and her brother managed to once again evade the authorities as the police interviewed them pertaining to Farsef's murder. Saria was enthralled to learn that Dr. Behnam, who had disrespected her at the hospital, was a prime suspect in the murder... Now we find her preparing for another turbulent event...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Another incredibly big thank you to my amazing co-author Christany for her help and support throughout this chapter and the entire series. She is currently writing her own series, Seeds of Yesterday, which will cross over with this one and features her OC, Nandalia, who we will meet in this chapter. I will post the link to her Wattpad page on my profile when it is released. Please check it out, or Assef and Saria will come after you. :P All joking aside, she really is awesome and the best co-author ever, so please support her writing.. :D
> 
> This chapter will be quite long, but after this the chapters will be shorter in length for quite a while. Thank you for your patience and enjoy reading (:

Today was going to be a nightmare. I could just feel it. My stomach turned, with a nausea brought on at the mere thought of it. It was a beautiful, serene Sunday morning, this should have been a day of relaxation, to spend the day with my older brother, perhaps indulge in a fun game of volley ball if we had so chosen. But no. Instead I would be forced to enter a mosque, to sit upon a prayer mat and watch as the boy I had brutally tortured to death was laid to rest.

Yes. You read that right. My parents, brother and I, were going to attend Farsef's funeral today. Apparently, Papa personally knew Aarash's father very well, having piloted many of the flights the man took to Iran due to... whatever the fuck he did for a living, not that I cared. Now, he wanted to be at the family's side in their time of mourning, to share in their pain and grief as their youngest child was to become worm food in a hole in the ground. But why, why did I have to go? Why couldn't Papa merely attend the funeral on his own instead of dragging us through the bowels of hell, too. Why must I be subjected to this? Why must Assef be subjected to this?

I sank onto the bed, resting my folded arms upon my knees, my eyes feeling heavy and listless, bemoaning my terrible fate. Everything, every-fucking-thing seemed to be against me. I certainly did not want to be seeing Aarash again. It would be better if I were to evade him forever, deny his existence for all eternity. But how could I do that now, when I would be forced to intrude upon this most personal, private event of his family's lives? I don't think l had ever abhorred my retard of a father more than for this decision...

''Saria?'' Oh, for the love of God! Could I not be left in peace for two fucking minutes? Was that so much to ask? I looked up, pouting at the sight of my mother, standing in the doorway, her bony arms folded across her chest. She wore a light blue, knee-length dress, that cinched in at the waist and flared out at the end, her blonde hair pinned neatly up into a bun. She was completely done up to the nines, as the saying goes. Mama always had to go the extra mile when it came to public events, when her reputation depended on the way she portrayed herself.

''Daughter, why have you not dressed yet? We only have half an hour before we need to leave, and you know full well it would be disrespectful for us to be late to the funeral. Oh, what would the neighbours think of us, then, I ask you? The things people would say.. I can't even begin to imagine... Now let's go, Saria Adelah. I will not repeat myself.''

How I longed then to punch her right in the jaw, to sew her mouth up so she could no longer speak. To slice her open with a kitchen knife, sending her to hell where she belonged. Who did she think she was to speak to me like that?! But what could I do now other than resign myself to her will? For now I must submit to her orders.. I sighed loudly, getting to my feet. ''Yes, Mama,'' I muttered. ''I'll get dressed now.''

''Saria.'' She crossed the room in three bold strides, taking her place on the bed beside me. Her fingernails caressed my scalp as she drew me in close to her. ''You look so worn out, my little one. What's wrong? Talk to mommy, is something bothering you?'' Her concern was all just a facade, and I fucking knew it too. Nobody besides Assef had ever shown true compassion and tenderness towards me, without there being some ulterior motive, and I knew full well that Mama had one now.

''I'm fine, Mama. I...'' heaving a big sigh, I leaned my head upon her shoulder, wanting to make myself seem like the pitiful, innocent child. ''Why must we go to Farsef's funeral, Mama? I-I mean no disrespect but... it's going to be so sad. So trying on all of us. I don't think I could put myself through it. I-I..'' I managed to conjure up a false tear, only to placate the bitch, who looked at me with such tenderness it sickened me, ''It just breaks my heart to think of that family hurting.''

Oh, my heart did break, but it was for my suffering. Assef's suffering. Adia's suffering. Certainly not Aarash's. The monster could die for all I cared. He was lucky he wasn't being put to rest alongside his brother today. Truly, we had imparted on him a mercy he did not deserve. Even the thought of Aarash filled me with both a sense of dread and rage. I alternated between each emotion equally.

Mama, the dumb, naive whore, mistook my silence for more lamentations about the poor family's suffering. She brushed a stray lock of hair behind my ear. ''Such a sweet child my baby girl is. Always so concerned about others. Saria jan, I know you don't want to go today. Believe me, I wish this day wasn't coming to pass too. It... I can't even imagine what that boy must have gone through. The pain and loneliness he surely felt.'' She sighed. ''But we need to go to the funeral. If nothing else than to support his family in their time of need.'' I became stoic and emotionless once again as she pressed a kiss to the side of my head. ''Now come on. Get dressed. Your father will not be happy with us if we're late.''

I nodded; what more could I do? I had tried and failed to get her on my side. The bitch was determined to enhance my suffering in every way possible. If only she truly knew what I had suffered at Aarash's hands. She wouldn't be so concerned about him then, would she? But alas, what choice did I have but to bend myself to her whims? She gave me a gentle kiss before exiting the room, the door clicking softly shut behind her.

I kicked the floor angrily, sending waves upon waves of pain shooting up my foot as it connected with the a loose nail in the floorboards. ''Just my fucking luck!'' I growled under my breath. ''Always, always my fucking luck!'' I got to my feet, stomping as loudly as possible over to the wardrobe. I was pissed off, and everyone in that damn house was going to know about it. The wardrobe doors slammed against the wall as I threw them open. What the fuck was I going to wear today? It had to be something prim and proper, something that would make me look like the epitome of pure innocence.

Good impressions were of the absolute essence if I were to survive the day. Who knows how many forlorn, heartbroken people I would have to speak to? How many hands I would be forced to shake, how many false ''I'm sorry for your loss's'' would be wrenched from my mouth. It was during moments of extreme stress which I knew today would bring that I had to be especially careful. Under no circumstances could I afford myself a slip up of any kind. And to think I had been worried about the police visiting last week? Compared to this, they were a doozy!

I rifled through my assortment of disgusting clothes. Pinafores and dresses, each as hideously cute and precious as the last. I rolled my eyes at the mere sight of them. No wonder people mistook me for an eight-year-old. The clothes, and my size, certainly did not do me any favours in that regard. How I wished I could just dress appropriately for my age, instead of having to wear these clothes. They made me feel do degraded and pathetic. But alas, I had no other choice, so bitching and moaning wasn't going to solve anything, now was it?

After much deliberation, I settled on a short-sleeved, cream dress with butterfly collar, that reached just below my knees and had a print of a rosebud adorning the pockets. It was one of the cutest dresses I owned, and it would suit perfectly for today. Though it really ought to have been tossed on a bonfire and burned to ashes, it would have to serve out its purpose today. I folded my nightgown up neatly, placing it under my pillow, wanting to ensure I kept my room and things as perfect as I could. Now standing in nothing but panties, I yanked the dress over my head, grunting with the extra-human effort it seemed to take, though that could have just been the frustration I was feeling at the day's events.

My eyes stung with the bitterness of rage and annoyance. Who could blame me now if I were to lose my temper? Oh, had I a grenade then only Assef would be spared the brutal consequences of my furious temper. I did up the buttons on my dress, trying to clear my mind of any negative thoughts. Easier said than fucking done, mind you. Mind, body and spirit were waging war against me. Oh, if only I could hide under my bed and never come out. To lock myself away from the world. I did not want to face Aarash ever, ever again.

Would Adia be at the funeral too, I wondered. I hoped not. My sweet little sister did not need or deserve the pressure of this event. My Assef and I didn't fucking deserve it, either! Oh, and speak of the devil, my brother appeared in the doorway, arms folded across his chest, leaning casually against the frame. He wore a beige suit, one he usually only reserved for the most important of occasions. His hair was neatly combed back. I noted how much of an effort Assef had made, knowing he despised having to get dressed up in such a manner, unless the situation absolutely called for it.

"Father says we'll be leaving in ten minutes," he said, bending down to pick up a book I had left lying on the floor. He casually began flicking through it. "So, you know... I've been sent up here to tell you to hurry on." Assef rolled his eyes, despising Papa's bossy nature as much as I.

I flopped backwards onto my bed, taking care not to mess up my dress. God forbid if it were to get wrinkled! My hands covering my face, I groaned out my frustration, knowing I was in the presence of the one person who could understand and give me a sense of peace to my frazzled mind. "I think you already know how I feel about this whole thing, Assef jan," I muttered. "We need not have the bond we do for you to understand my pain in this very moment. Oh, why, why must we be put through this? Why does fate hold such cruel tricks within her sleeve to make us suffer so? Are we not allowed to have even a day's peace without being tormented?"

A bitter laugh escaped my lips. "This is to be story of our lives, is it? Aarash.. I'll never fucking escape him.. Even if l live to be a hundred I will never forget what he did to me. To us. And now I have to fake condolences to him and his worthless family? I swear, brother.. it's days like this I wish we had murdered him too."

Much like he always did, my brother tried to comfort me in my state of torment. He sat beside me, taking me into his arms as he lifted me up into his lap. His chin rested against the top of my head. "Kiddo," he breathed, stroking my head, ever so loving and sweet. "I know this isn't ideal." Understatement of the fucking century! "I wish we didn't have to go, either. I loathe the very sight of Aarash just as much as you do. The hell he put us both through.. we lost so much that day. So many things we can never get back." Assef's breath tickled my cheek as he gave me a loving kiss. "Alas.. what choice do we have but to attend today? If we refuse then suspicion may well fall upon us."

He sighed, the gravity of the situation weighing upon his tired body. "Little sister, you need not worry about a thing. I'll be right by your side the entire day. We'll keep our distance from Aarash. As far a-fucking-way as we possibly can. Think of this as just another bump in the road. Yes, we both would rather this be smooth sailing but.. but we'll get through it if we just stick together. You have my word on that."

I nodded, heaving myself up off his lap, the only safe place for me in this world. "You're right, Assef. We will get through this. It's.. it's just frustrating, is all."

"I know it is, kiddo, but what choice do we have? Oh, I could slit father's throat ear to ear right now. Who does he think he is to force us to go anywhere?" Assef ran a hand through his hair, gritting his teeth. "Oh well. We have no choice, do we?" He read my mind with that statement. "Now, finish up getting ready. We need to leave before our parents have a conniption."

"I'll meet you in the hall, okay? See you in a few minutes, kiddo." With those parting words, my Assef took his leave. I was now alone with my thoughts once more. My brother's reassurances that things would be alright had done much to strengthen my resolve. I put a light blue ribbon in the side of my hair, my ringlets cascading down my back. Looking in the mirror, I almost didn't recognise myself. Was this sweet, gentle-looking child really the same person who had brutally tortured Farsef for hours until at last death had provided with him with sweet release? Could anyone who looked at me truly comprehend the horrors of the workings of my mind, a place where even the devil himself would fear to explore.

I adjusted the buttons on my coat, and went out to meet my brother in the hallway. He took my little hand, giving it a soft squeeze. "Let's go and get this over with, shall we, kiddo? It'll only take an hour or two at best."

His attempts to make me feel better seemed only to be a wasted effort. Call it intuition but I just knew no good could come of this day. My very soul was screaming at me to hide, to escape this torment in whatever way I possibly could. How life seemed to hate me so! But what choice did I have other than to accept my fate? ''I hope you're right, brother,'' I sighed. ''I really do. You know my stance on mosques and religion anyway.. We both share that same distaste for them.''

Assef clicked his tongue, giving me a stern look as he began to lead me down the stairs. ''I know, Saria. This is not ideal in the slightest. But all we need to do is pretend to grieve over Farsef like everyone else. Pretending is second nature to us, this will be just another typical day. I promise, you have no reason to worry.''

How I hoped in my heart that Assef's words were true. That everything would fall into place. Our days would be brighter and more peaceful than ever before, if we could just survive this one test, I believed. After all, once the funeral was over then I would never have to see Aarash again. He would simply become another terrible memory to be locked away with all the others. The thought gave me a newfound sense of confidence, enough to brighten my spirits if just a little.

A low cough, courtesy of Papa, broke me out of my reverie. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, impeccably dressed in a suit and tie, holding a wreath in one hand, and an old, dusty Qu'ran in the other. 'If he expects me to start praying in the car, he's got another think fucking coming,' I thought irately.

''Let's go, everyone!'' he said, ushering us all out the door, clicking his fingers, as if we were trained animals at a circus who would jump through flaming hoops if he so ordered us. I trudged along, dejected, my feet kicking up bits of snow and gravel, still clinging on to Assef's hand, which I was determined not to let go of under any circumstances. Assef and I kept ten steps behind our parents, who were deep in conversation, no doubt discussing the funeral and all it would entail.

Into the back seat, I closed the door none too gently, before doing up my seatbelt. Assef slid in next to me, opting to sit in the middle so he could wrap one arm across my shoulder. I leaned my head against his chest, trying with all I had to soak up each crevice of love, strength and compassion that he had for me. How else was I to survive the day? Assef stroked my hair, rubbing my back lovingly.

Mama seemed to move at an even more slower pace than I did, if it were at all possible. She lowered herself into the passenger's seat, her breath condensing in the chilly air as she exhaled deeply. She placed her hand on her heart and tilted her head back, sniffling. It suddenly occurred to me then that my mother would find this day especially tough due to my cousin's death only mere months before. Surely the thought of attending Farsef's funeral would bring back all the memories of that dreadful incident. Of the relationship she had lost with her sister. If I weren't a sociopath, I may have felt sorry for her, but as it were I felt nothing. Call me a narcissist but I knew my feelings were so much more important that hers.

Papa revved up the engine, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. ''I want impeccable behaviour from the both of you,'' he ordered Assef and I as the car roared to life, ''nothing more and nothing less. Neither of you is to make even the slightest sound whilst the proceedings are going on. Do you understand?''

Assef's grip on my shoulder tightened. ''Yes, Father. We'll behave. Honestly, what do you take us for? Common Neanderthals who don't know proper etiquette? You know my sister and I always give due respect in such situations, and today will be no different.''

''I didn't ask for a smart-ass answer, Assef Ahmed.'' Papa hit the steering wheel twice in emphasis. Well, this was certainly turning out to be a great start to the day, now wasn't it? I gripped tightly to Assef's arm, glowering at him, urging him to simmer down and not lose his temper. I certainly did not want there to be any arguments. No, it would be better if the journey to the mosque was one of total silence. But honestly? I doubted it would be.

Assef sank back into the leather covered seat, leaning his head against mine. His cheeks flushed with the anger of having been scorned, and a tense quiet passed over the rest of us. I knew all too well how quickly my brother could lose his head and fly into a temper, and hoped to fuck he would stay calm. After all, if Papa irritated him this much I could only begin to imagine what he would do when faced with Aarash.

''Brother. Calm,'' I whispered in German, my head still leaning against his as the car trundled out of the driveway. The journey to the mosque would take close to fifteen minutes, so I hoped to fuck that any tensions would dissipate before we got there. Mama's chest heaved. From what I could see of her in the rearview mirror, her eyes were shining with unshed tears, hands trembling against the dashboard. Papa took one of her hands in his, the other gripping the steering wheel, knuckles turning white in colour.

"I'm fine, Sar." Assef's attention was entirely focused on our parents, his eyes narrowed in annoyance at the back of Papa's head. I knew he was itching to tell the worthless excuse for a man exactly how he felt. To spit in his face and let him taste the hatred he had, that we both had for him. But alas, we could not do so.

As the car made it's way down the winding road, my heartbeat began to quicken, sweat forming on my brow. Just let the engine run out, let the car break down, let something, anything happen that would stop us from moving any further. I shifted uncomfortably where I sat. The seatbelt across my chest may as well have been barbed wire cutting me in two. The car might well have been a hearse, come to escort me to my own funeral. I felt like I was being led to my impending doom, that I was the one to be buried..

'Fuck my life, fuck all of this,' I thought. Assef's expression remained stoic and cold as we turned off the little dirt road we were on and made our way onto the highway. The minute we did, I noticed the line of traffic that seemed to be directed towards the large mosque just ahead. "Are.. are they all going to the funeral?" Mama voiced my own thoughts.

"I would say so, my love," Papa responded, stroking her hand with his thumb. "You know when something like this happens, the whole community will want to pay their respects. It's.. it's tragedies like this that can really bring us together and make us stronger."

I rolled my eyes. Did we need the fucking cliche bullshit? Why not just make us all hold hands and sing campfire songs too? God. What a crock of shit this all was. But there was no denying the inevitable as we pulled up outside the mosque. No running from our fate. I cracked my neck side to side as I peered in wonder at the grand building in front of me.

If this wasn't a religious building, it may almost have been beautiful to me. The grand pillars on either side, the large domed roof. It almost seemed to radiate peace and serenity, or at least it would if I was the type of person to take comfort in such things. As it stood, though, that fucking mosque may well have been the gallows to me.

I became nauseous as the car rolled to a stop. 'Welcome to the gates of hell.' I looked up at the mosque through narrowed eyes. "Well, we're here now. Everyone out of the car," Papa ordered. Did he think us slaves to his fucking whims or what? I could feel the burning rage fuel within me. Nobody had the right to boss my brother and I around, we were not common filthy Hazaras, we deserved, we demanded more respect than that.

Hesitantly, I undid my seatbelt, my tiny fingers fumbling with the latch until at last I got it unhooked. My knees shook incredibly as I swung myself out of the car, fixing my hair ribbon and adjusting my coat. Mama, who's eyes were already watery (stupid bitch), placed a hand on the back of my head. ''My precious little one,'' she crooned, leaning down to give me a sweet kiss. I kept staring directly ahead, not wanting to dare look at her.

My parents were both irritating me to the highest degree today. Oh, I despised the both of them with an intensity that bordered on sadistic. They had forced me to attend this event, reopening all my old wounds, tearing the scabs from my fragile psyche. For that I loathed them more than I ever had before. though in my subconscious i knew I was merely focusing all my anger on my parents because I didn't want to think about the true cause of my misery, The one person who's name I abhorred to even speak.

How I wished I could just turn and run in the opposite direction. To sprout wings and fly, fly as far away from here as was possible., to a place where Aarash and his stupid family did not exist. A place where finally I could lay my sorrows to rest. But what choice did I have now? I had no option but to follow Papa towards the mosque entrance, which may as well have been a prison cell. Assef gripped my hand in his own, one arm draped across my shoulder and onto my chest. "I'm not able to deal with this shit," I said in a worn and defeated voice, my shoulder slumped tiredly. "I'm really not fucking able."

"Neither am I, kiddo, now come on. Don't drag this out any more than you have to. Once we get this over and done with we'll be able to go home and spend the day together. Please don't be so downtrodden, sister." He gently kissed my forehead and drew me in closer to him as we continued our perilous journey.

"Best behaviour, remember," Papa repeated sternly as we entered the mosque. I stared in absolute wonderment at the beauty all around me. The tall pillars, the Qur'anic writings on the walls, the woven tapestry. It looked like something out of a fairy-tale. My mouth parted as I gazed all around me. This was my first time being in a mosque. If only this visit were under better fucking circumstances..

As I turned my head to look at another tapestry, I was suddenly confronted with an extremely unpleasant sight. The kind that made my stomach turn and the blood rush to my head. I clutched onto my brother's arm, fingernails digging into the sleeve, feeling myself sway back and forth like a drunkard. Shit. Shit. Shit. No. No. No. Fuck!

'This isn't fucking happening!' I said to myself. 'This has to be a dream! Let me wake up!' I could feel myself start to tremble, on the verge of another fucking panic attack. Standing there, only a few mere feet away, his back turned to us, was Aarash. The very demon I loathed more than anybody else. Even more than Ahtrai, and that's saying something.

My arms quickly found themselves around Assef's waist, face buried in the fabric of his shirt, my little body quivering with fear. This was hell. I looked back at the entrance to the mosque and felt an overwhelming urge to flee. 'If I run now.. maybe I can get away.. I'm a fast enough sprinter.. yes.. can't stay here a second longer,' the gears in my mind babbled incessantly, working overtime. This was now a full scale flight or fight situation.

"Shh, kiddo, it's okay," my brother tried to soothe me, but his words did nothing to calm the unrelenting terror I now felt. Of course, the more sensible part of me knew full well that Aarash could not harm me here, that he would never be able to lay a hand upon me again, but even still.. the sight of the monster that had touched me, beat me, took away my chance to have a family, was enough to send a chill right up my spine. Each thought, each memory of what he had done, seemed to tease me without mercy as they flashed through my head.

"A-Assef.." was all I could say as tremors of fear shook me and I could feel my knees literally knocking together. I could hardly stand. If not for my brother's arm around my waist, I may well have collapsed in a heap on the floor. Oh God, let this be a dream! Let this whole troublesome event be nothing more than a petrifying nightmare! Let me wake up safe and sound in my own bed.

No deny the fucking inevitable though, as Papa had spotted who I assumed was Aarash's father, and began walking towards him. 'Shit, shit, shit, I'm not going over there!' I thought, clinging to Assef in the way a lost child would cling to a parent. 'No, no, no!'

"Assef, Saria..come over here please." Never had I despised the sound of my father's voice more. Oh, I should just rip his voice box out and shove it up his fucking ass. How fucking dare he try to make me go within ten damn feet of Aarash?! Did he have no fucking idea of the terror being manifested within his daughter's mind?

"I'm not.. I can't go over there," I whispered to Assef, my words measured carefully in German. "I can't.. no.. I won't speak to him, I can't face him again.. I-I.. No."

"What choice do we have, Saria?" my brother seemed to have given up on any hope of release. I could tell by the whiteness of his knuckles, the little tremor of his hand, he was as nervous as I was. Damn, he better stay strong for the both of us. Assef was the glue that held me together. If he was to crack now there would be no stopping me from heading straight into disaster, like a derailed train.

As we slowly approached the grieving family, I finally took notice of the girl standing at Aarash's side. I cocked my head slightly to the right as I scrutinised this new arrival. She looked to be about twelve or thereabouts, though she was a good fucking foot taller than me. Joy to the fucking world, right? She wore a light pink, knee-length dress and was incredibly dark-skinned. More so than I, and that's saying something.

'She's blonde too?' I thought, finally taking in the girl's short hair. It wasn't often I saw people in Afghanistan with light-coloured hair. It wasn't often I saw girl's with hair as short as hers, either. My interest in this mysterious girl was peaked. Who was she? Why was she standing with Aarash? These were questions I desperately needed answers to, and I needed them now! Next to me I felt Assef shift uncomfortably, also focused on this strange girl and I knew that he was thinking the same thoughts I was. We continued walking towards Aarash and his family, each step bringing us closer and closer to that monster and the strange girl clinging to his side.

If only she knew. If only she truly knew who Aarash was, and could grasp the full extent of the horrific crimes he had committed against my brother and I. Perhaps then she would distance herself from him, rather than cling to him in the way she was doing. But no, she obviously had no clue that she was in the presence of a monster, for she still stood beside him, clinging to him much in the same way I would my own brother.

My heart almost stopped in my chest, my body freezing up as we finally reached the grieving family. I latched onto Assef's arm. He was the only thing keeping me from losing my mind completely. He hugged me close to him, gently whispering soothing words in German. If not for him, then I would have surely gone insane.

It was then that the monster broke away from the conversation he was having and finally noticed us approaching. His eyes narrowed, his mouth opening slightly, showing the foul contempt he held for my Assef and I. Assef's grip tightened around my shoulder, much as Aarash's did around the girl he was holding onto. She looked up at him, worry and confusion evident on her face, then turned her head to look at us.

In her eyes, I could see fear. The kind that so many of my victims held for me. We locked eyes for a minute. There was something in the way she looked at me, it unsettled me more than I cared to admit. She looked as if she knew something she shouldn't.. But no.. it was impossible, was it? Aarash would never have.. there was no way this girl could know what I done to Farsef, was there?

No, it was just my over-active imagination playing tricks on me again. No way would Aarash divulge the truth about his brother's death. To do so he would have to explain what he had done to me, and I knew in the back of my mind that he had not done so. 'You worry far, far too much,' I chastised myself. 'You'll send yourself into an early grave if you continue.'

"Akbar jan!" Papa exclaimed, as he and Aarash's father embraced. "Salaam.. my old friend.."

Akbar, a tall man who must have been six foot or thereabouts, shook my father's hand vigorously. He smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes, which were filled with a bitter sadness over the loss of his son. "Salaam, Mahmood jan. It's nice to see you again, though I wish it could have been under better circumstances," he said. "Far better circumstances..." he trailed off, looking at Aarash and the mysterious girl.

"You have our deepest condolences for your loss," Papa said kindly. "Young Farsef was an incredible boy, so very bright and kind-hearted. I am more than sorry that he had to leave this world at such an untimely interval, and in such a dreadful way. So sorry, my friend."

'The only thing I'm fucking sorry about is not killing Aarash while I was at it,' I thought, glowering at the monster from within my brother's protective embrace. Oh, how I longed to end his miserable existence on this planet. Why had I not done so? Why in God's fucking name had I allowed him to live? I regretted it deeply.

"Thank you, Mahmood jan," was all Akbar could say, each word seeming to take more and more effort. His wife, a stout woman who seemed about five foot eight, with dark brown hair tied in a bun, gave my parents a brief, weak handshake. Assef and I remained largely ignored, just the way I liked it.

'And who might this be?" Mama asked, finally taking notice of the girl at Aarash's side that I had been staring at for the past few minutes. Aarash stirred at the mention of the girl and pulled her closer to him. Akbar gave his son a rather unimpressed look, then turned his attention back to my parents. "That..." he looked over at Aarash and the girl again, a look of contempt marring his features. "Forgive my son's rudeness," he said apologetically. "Aarash, Nandalia, please come over here."

'Nandalia, so that's her name,' I thought, as Aarash began to slowly lead the girl towards us, the look on his face clearly saying he didn't want her anywhere near us, much in the same way my brother's features said he didn't want me anywhere near Aarash. Assef held me closer as the gap between Aarash and us narrowed until he was mere inches away.

"This," Akbar said, gesturing to the girl, "is Nandalia. Nandi for short. She's going to be living with us from now on."

Mama smiled broadly, putting a hand out for Nandalia to shake. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Nandalia jan." Nandalia looked up at Aarash, who nodded once, before hesitantly extending her own hand to shake my mother's.

"It.." she turned her attention back to Aarash, her mouth parting, a confused expression on her face. Aarash leaned down to whisper in her ear, some strange language that I couldn't understand. What the fuck was he saying? Next to me, Assef cocked his head to the side, a look of extreme concentration on his face. Suddenly his eyes lit up with understanding.

"English, Saria," he whispered into my ear. "They're speaking English, I think."

"Nandalia's obviously not a native Afghan, then," I whispered back. My thoughts were confirmed then, as the girl in question turned back to my mother.

"It.. nice.. to meet.. you too.. T-Tanya j-jan," she said in a timid little voice, her Farsi so broken and accented it was absolutely laughable. I'd heard fucking toddlers with better vocabulary than this dumb bitch! A mirthful laugh almost escaped my lips, but I managed to conceal it under the guise that I was simply clearing my throat. Beside me, I felt Assef snicker, glowering darkly at Nandalia, who was still clutching to Aarash as if he were a lifeline. She stole a quick glance at my brother, who was looking at her with contempt, as if she was nothing less than the dirt under his shoe. Aarash's eyes darkened and he glared at Assef and I.

Mama took my hand in hers, pulling me forcefully away from my brother. I let out a gasp of indignation as she pushed me forward, her hands on my shoulder as if she were presenting me to the world. She crouched down so she could whisper in my ear. "Saria, honey.. why don't you say hi to Nandalia? Maybe the two of you could become friends, would you like that sweetheart?"

I stepped forward, having to tilt my head ever so slightly to look up at the girl. Something flashed through her eyes as we gave each other a brief, weak handshake. Something akin to absolute terror. My eyebrows arched. "It's nice to meet you, Nandalia. Welcome to Kabul," I said, though I was only doing so to please the adults around me. I had no intentions of befriending the girl any time soon as my mother implied.

Nandalia and I stepped back, away from each other, turning to cling to Aarash and Assef respectively. My brother cuddled me close into him, stroking my hair. "She's a little shy around people she doesn't know," Mama apologised, giving me a rather sharp glare. "She'll just need a little time to warm up to you, Nandi jan."

She nodded, though she didn't look like she wanted me to 'warm up to her' in the slightest. Well, she would get her fucking wish on that one! Aarash rubbed her arm, keeping her extremely close to him, as though worried someone would grab her and take her away from him. The looks she was giving me were incredibly unsettling. It was the look a frightened gazelle gives a hungry lioness right before the latter goes in for the kill.

How much did she truly know? What had Aarash told her about us? Was it possible she knew the full, terrible truth behind Farsef's death? I hoped not. For if she did, if the truth came out that she was to be any sort of threat to my brother and I, then surely I would have to find protection at the end of a sharp blade or some other weapon. If Nandalia was in any such way a threat to my safety or the safety of my brother, well.. she would devise of no argument or plea that could save her from our wrath.

But there was no more time to ruminate about such things. Papa continued speaking to the frightened young girl, not that she could understand a word either way. "And how old are you, Nandalia?" She cocked her head up at Aarash, mouthing something in English to him. Aarash responded first in English, then he slowly repeated the words to her in Farsi. I was straining my ears to catch what he was saying, but his voice was lowered to such an octave that it was nearly impossible.

Finally, and with a great sigh, Aarash turned back to my father. "She's thirteen," he replied. Oh, how the sound of his voice sent waves upon waves of cold shivers directly up my spine. How I abhorred to hear even a single word come from his mouth. How I longed to silence him, to send him to his grave alongside his little brother. How I wished so desperately that I could... but my thoughts of the gruesome tortures I wished to perform upon Aarash were suddenly pushed to the back of my mind as his words actually hit me.

'Thirteen?' I thought in disbelief. 'She's fucking thirteen?' Oh, now this had lit the fire within me. This girl.. this.. this dumb English-speaking cunt.. she was only a fucking year older than me. Less than that, in fact, given that my thirteenth birthday was fast approaching. And yet, to look at us both, you would think I was so much younger than her. 'Is everyone going to be fucking taller than me?' I thought, fighting the strong urge to flip Nandalia the bird.

"Your little girl is thirteen soon, right Mahmood jan?" Akbar asked, smiling down at me. I smiled back at him, but on the inside I was still seething. Standing here, faced with the knowledge that yet another person my age was so much taller than I, I felt so fucking small, so insignificant. And the fact that Akbar had referred to me as 'little girl' was enough to make me want to snap his fucking neck. Yes, I'm short. Yes, I look young. But do people really need to fucking rub it in?

Mama gave me another sharp look, clearly expecting me to speak up and answer Akbar, but I simply turned my focus back on Assef, cuddling closer to him as he stroked my hair. With an apologetic sigh, my dumb bitch of a mother turned to Akbar, then nodded. "Yes. She'll be thirteen on December fifth. Two and a half weeks from now, actually."

"Will you be having another party this year?" Akbar asked my father.

Papa nodded. "Yes. We will." He put an arm around my shoulder and pressed a kiss to the side of my head. "Anything for my little princess." There we go again with the 'little' comments. Would everyone just shut the fuck up? "Perhaps Nandalia would like to come along?" he asked hopefully.

'Nandalia can go fuck herself if she thinks I want anything to do with her,' I thought vehemently, though judging by her reaction to the question, the terror in her eyes and the way she clung onto Aarash, I could tell that the girl wasn't all too eager to get to know me, either, which suited me just fine.

Akbar, whose attention had been solely focused on Nandalia and I, finally took notice of my brother, who was looking off at a tapestry just a few feet away from us. 'Probably just as fucking bored as I am,' I thought, still latched onto his hand. Papa cleared his throat irritably, causing Assef to focus once again on us. He smiled apologetically at Akbar.

"Forgive me for that," he said, the perfect example of sincerity, "my mind was elsewhere." Akbar smiled glumly at my brother.

"I think, given the circumstances, that is perfectly understandable," he sighed, taking his wife's hand. As she looked sadly up at him, tears collecting in the corner's of her dark eyes, I realised then that Aarash's mother hadn't said a word to us. 'How rude,' I thought to myself. Who the fuck taught her manners? Even the English speaking cunt had attempted conversation, and she could hardly speak a coherent fucking word of Farsi.

Speaking of the English speaking bitch, Akbar once again beckoned her and Aarash over to us, for he had led her off to look at the same tapestry my brother had been staring at. Neither of them looked like they wanted to be within ten feet of us, and the feeling was fucking mutual. "Nandi jan, say hello to Assef, won't you?"

I could tell this was the last thing Nandalia wanted to do, but she hesitantly stepped forward anyway, extending a trembling hand to my brother. "H-hello.. A-Assef.." she stuttered, her whole body seeming to quake as she accepted my brother's handshake, as if afraid he would hurt her. "It's.. nice.. to meet you."

'Very fucking believable, you stupid cunt,' I thought. Nice to meet us indeed. She looked as though she had just just put her hand inside a nest of angry hornets. How dare she treat us with such indifference? I could feel my right hand, the one not clung to Assef's, balling up into a fist. It does not need to be said that I have an extremely short fuse, and if Nandalia wasn't careful, she would cause that ticking time bomb of rage to explode in her face.

The moment my brother's hand met Nandalia's, Aarash stepped forward, as though afraid Assef would steal the girl away. "Nandi," he said, tugging the girl's shoulder forcefully away from my brother, who took a step back, confusion painted on his features. Aarash grabbed Nandalia's hand and held it firm within his own grasp. "Nandi, come here."

Aarash's incredibly disrespectful behaviour did not go unnoticed by his father, who gave his son a stern glare, mouthing what sounded like 'we'll discuss this later,' in his direction. Something flickered across Aarash's face, but he quickly turned his focus back on Nandalia, who was once again clinging desperately to his side. Akbar sighed, the irritation evident in his stern face. "You really will have to excuse them, they're.. today has been a toll on all of us."

'Us too,' I thought, 'and the fucking ceremony hasn't even started yet.' And yet, my brother and I had actually managed to behave respectfully, unlike those two retards in the corner. Papa clapped Akbar on the shoulder. "Nay, no harm done, my friend. This must be hard on all of you. I can't imagine what you must be going through."

"I don't want you to imagine, nobody should ever have to go through this pain," Akbar sighed, then looked at his wife, who had openly begun to cry. He put his arm around her shoulder, while she turned her head away from us, as though ashamed to have broken down this way in front of us. I could hardly blame her, though. If I could cry right now I would do so, too. Akbar hushed his wife, a hint of red tinging his cheeks, looking rather embarrassed at her behaviour. "Kasra jan," he said, gesturing to the watch on his right hand, "we'll need to be getting ready, the ceremony is about to start soon."

'Oh, good. Let's get this shit over with,' I thought, still latched onto my brother's side, much in the same way Nandalia was still latched onto Aarash's. 'How can she stand to touch him?' I thought in disgust. Even being within two feet of Aarash was enough to make me gag, and here she was openly and willingly holding onto him. What the serious fuck was wrong with this dumb cunt? Was there even a brain in that stupid little head of hers?

Mama gave the grieving couple a sad smile, her hands clasped demurely in front of her. She gave a little glance over to my father, who looked just as eager to get this day over and done with as I was. Then, because she's an idiotic bitch who's sole purpose in life seems to be to ruin mine, she turned her focus on Nandalia, who was still clutching to Aarash as if her very existence depended on it.

"Nandalia," she said, with a gentleness I could not recall her ever using towards me, "sweetheart, would you like to come and sit with Saria and I whilst the ceremony is going on?"

'Oh no she fucking didn't,' I thought irritably, clenching my fist so hard I could feel my nails digging into my palm, so much so that it was almost painful. Was she trying to make my life a living hell? 'Cause if she was, she was doing a fine fucking job! My eyes narrowed, a cold, callous expression passing over my face for the briefest of moments as I looked up at Nandalia, giving her a clear picture of how much I did not want her sitting next to me, or anywhere near me at all.

The girl stepped backward, a little, hardly audible gasp escaping her lips as she looked to Aarash for support. He reached out, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and drawing her in close to him. "Nandi stays with me," he said, the firmness in his voice leaving no room for argument, not that I would have in either case. He leaned down to press a kiss to the side of her head, and she turned away from us, looking up at him with wide, beseeching eyes. Aarash mouthed something in English to her, and she nodded.

'What are you saying, you goddamn pieces of shit?' I thought, glaring at them from within my brother's protective hold. 'Come on, speak fucking Farsi, stop with this English bullshit!' Akbar, it seemed, was having the same thoughts I was, for he shot his son another fierce glare, causing Aarash to shrink back a bit, and tighten the grip he had on Nandalia. Kasra glanced back and forth from her husband to her son, her beady gray eyes flickering with tormented emotion.

Mama seemed taken aback by Aarash's defensive reaction to her question but tried her hardest not to appear so. She gave Kasra a sympathetic smile, which the other woman failed to return. The dumb ill-mannered bitch was starting to really piss me off. It didn't take much to just have the fucking respect to open your goddamn mouth and speak two fucking words to the people who had taken time out of their day to watch your child be shoved in a hole in the ground, especially when said people didn't want to be there at all. And by 'people' I of course am referring to my brother and I.

Judging by the way Akbar began to lead his wife into the grand, open hallway, beckoning for Aarash and Nandalia to follow him, he was as eager to get this ceremony over and done with as I was. Papa shot my brother and I a look, warning us to behave, then took Mama's hand and began to follow the grieving family. I wondered if we would get to see Farsef's body wrapped in the shroud. I had never been to a funeral before, and so my interest was peaked.

Assef pulled at my elbow, bringing me closer to him. "This is it, kiddo. I promise, as soon as this is over, we say our goodbyes and we leave. I don't care if we have to walk home. We are gone." I nodded, his words making me feel somewhat better. "I mean it, sister. Fuck the burial, fuck what mother and father will think. We won't be around Aarash or his family any longer than absolutely necessary."

"Then what are we waiting for?" I began to walk towards the hallway, needing to get this over and done with. Assef took my hand, and together we both made our way to where our parents stood with Aarash's family, and an elderly mullah who held a Qu'ran in his hand, and was deep in conversation with Akbar. The mullah gave a solemn nod to my brother and I, but said no more, which I was grateful for. I didn't want to engage in anymore pointless conversation.

As we took our places, Assef moved from my side to stand next to Aarash and Nandalia. The girl looked fearfully up at him, as though he might attack at any moment. Seeing her fear, my brother looked around to check nobody was looking,then smiled at the girl in such a way that sent shivers up my spine. If I was feeling that way, then I knew Nandalia must have been on the verge of pissing herself.

Suddenly, a hush fell over everyone as the elderly mullah stepped forward with the Qu'ran held out before him, delicately turning the pages. He began speaking, but I couldn't focus on anything he was saying as I soon became lost in my own thoughts.

'So it's begun,' I sighed internally, then completely shut off.

.. ... ... ... ...

'That was the most tedious fucking hour I've ever experienced,' I thought as the mourners began to file out into the halls, largely silent except for the few children who I could hear. Some were crying, others, the very young ones, were asking obnoxiously loud questions. 'Shut the fuck up!' I wanted to scream at them. 'Keep talking and there'll be more fucking funerals to attend, you little brats.'

I latched onto Assef's hand once more, a sense of euphoria overcoming me at the knowledge that this was finally over. "Time to get the fuck out of here, right, brother?" I asked, looking up at him. To my surprise, he was looking away from me, towards Aarash and that English speaking cunt.

"They seem awfully close, sister," Assef muttered. 'What the fuck is he going on about?' I suppressed a groan.

"Yeah. Now can we please go?" I tugged on his arm, but he just pulled me back to his side.

"In a minute, kiddo. Aren't you the least bit curious about why she was acting so fucking nervous around us? I want to find out who the fuck she is, how much she knows. If she could become..problematic.."

"Assef, you promised!" I whined, but I knew he was right.

He brushed my hair back from my face and hugged me briefly. "It'll only take a few minutes. As soon as we're done talking, we go."

I sighed dejectedly. "Fine.. I guess you do have a point, Assef." 'Besides,' I thought smugly 'Not like that little bitch will have much to say. It'll be a miracle if she can understand even a fucking word of what we'll say.' Assef held his hand out and I took it, moving closer to him. "But.. promise me this won't take long. I just want to get the fuck home."

"I promise." Assef gave me a smile that I thought was supposed to be reassuring, but did nothing to quell my impatience. 'Now, come on." He tugged at my hand, almost dragging me along behind him in his haste to get to Aarash and Nandalia. It seemed as if Assef was very keen to talk to the little cunt. I, for once, did not share his eagerness.

Upon noticing us approaching, Nandalia tugged frantically on Aarash's sleeve. He pulled her closer and altered his stance so that he was partially in front of the girl, as if he actually thought we would try and harm the girl. 'In front of all these witnesses? He must be even more fucking stupid than I thought he was,' I scorned internally. Aarash was holding onto the little bitch as if he were the only one that could protect her.

'Stop trying to be the fucking good guy,' I thought, fighting the urge to scream, 'we all know the type of scum you are.' Nandalia looked terrified, and suddenly I was fighting the urge to slap the bitch right in her fucking mouth and scream at her. She actually thought that we were the bad guys. If she only knew just what Aarash had done to me, the pain, the fear, the nightmares... would she still be clinging so desperately to him then? I doubted it.

"Hello again," Assef smiled, looking down at the trembling girl, ignoring Aarash completely. Nandalia's eyes widened, almost to the size of saucers, and she took another step behind Aarash, who pulled her closer, trying to reassure her that everything would be okay.

My brother, seeming totally unfazed by this rude behaviour, merely smiled at the girl some more. "It's okay. We don't bite," my brother chuckled to himself. "We didn't mean to scare you. You aren't from around here, are you?" Assef looked expectantly at Nandalia, who seemed to be struggling to form words, not that her Farsi was any fucking good anyway. eventually, after a frustratingly long silence, she seemingly gave up and weakly shook her head, confirming what was already fucking obvious.

"Then it must be really daunting, being in a strange place full of strange people, speaking a language you weren't brought up with," Assef gave the girl a sympathetic look, which only served to frighten her more, if the way she huddled closer to Aarash was anything to go by. I could tell her reactions to us was getting under my brother's skin, but to his credit, he managed to keep his temper. "It's alright. You don't have to be afraid of us." Aarash gave a snort at that comment, but refrained from making a rebuttal.

Assef gave Aarash a stern look, but turned back to Nandalia. "Where are you from originally, might I ask?" I didn't expect a response, and judging by Assef's demeanor, neither was he. So it was quite a surprise when the girl spoke, responding almost immediately to the question.

"A-Australia," she said with a bit more confidence than she had when we were introduced. Assef smiled, though I could tell by the way his eyes widened momentarily that he was surprised. Australia? Really? What the hell was she doing here, then? How the fuck did she know Aarash, then? What the fuck would bring someone from Australia all the way to Kabul? There were more fucking places in the world she could have decided to move to, why here? Suddenly, I was a lot more interested in this mysterious girl.

Assef smiled again. "Australia, really? That's interesting. We've never been. Is it nice there?" Yet again, I was surprised by how quickly the girl responded.

"Yes. It is. A l-lot warmer than Kabul, t-though. B-before I came h-here, I had n-never seen s-snow before." She seemed to become more confident, apparently very comfortable with the topic. Although her accent was fucking disgraceful, she was stuttering a lot less than before.

"And what do you think of snow, now that you have seen it?" my brother asked. He looked amused, the thought of someone never seeing snow before was an unfamiliar concept to the both of us.

"I-It's b-beautiful. B-but v-very, v-very cold." I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. Could she be any more obvious? Why not just state that the sky is blue and the grass is green while she's at it? Beside me, Assef chuckled.

"Yes it is. It gets colder, though. Wait until December comes, the temperatures really start to drop.. How long have you been in Kabul for, Nandi- May I call you Nandi?"

She hesitated, looking at Aarash, unsure of how to respond. He looked at her and nodded stiffly. "Y-yes, you c-can," she said, looking up at my brother, now seeming to be filled with more confidence than she had been earlier. Assef smiled, and a hint of a smile seemed to flicker across her face, but then Aarash squeezed her shoulder, and it was gone.

"I've b-been here a-about.." She looked up at Aarash once again, muttering something in that strange fucking language. Aarash whispered in her ear before letting Nandialia turn back to my brother. "Sorry. I've b-been here t-three w-weeks." 'And your fucking Farsi is still at fucking kindergarten level?' I thought, 'are you just fucking retarded or what?'

Learning new languages was always something that came easily to me, and Nandalia's struggle to pick it up was laughable to me. Then again, if it was Aarash teaching her, and judging by the way he was always hovering, he was, her difficulties learning could be a bit more explainable. just a bit, though. "Is this your first time in Kabul? And do you like being here, Nandi?" my brother asked.

"I-It's m-my second v-visit. I m-met b-big bro- Aarash on m-my f-first visit. I l-like it here. Here I d-don't have to w-worry a..about being h..hur-' She hesitated, her eyes widening before continuing. "W-worry a-about s-stuff." 'Hold the fuck on!' I thought. 'Was she about to call Aarash..Big brother?! Assef must have picked up on this too, because he stiffened, momentarily taken aback.

A thousand questions were racing through my head. Big brother? Really? And what the fuck was she going on about? Worried about what? It sounded almost like she was going to say she didn't have to worry about being...hurt. Hurt by who? Why? I had to grit my teeth to stop myself from bombarding the girl with these questions. For some reason, I was very, very interested in finding out more about this foreigner. An interest that, if the way my brother was looking at her was anything to go by, my brother shared with me.

"Do you have family back in Australia?" Assef asked. At this question, Nandalia stiffened, flinching as though she had been slapped across the face. I could see her hand close tightly around Aarash's sleeve. As if on cue, he pulled her right up against him.

"I think that's enough questions for today, Assef," Aarash said my brother's name with a look of disgust painted across his face. To my surprise, Nandalia pushed away from him, muttering something in English. Aarash stiffened momentarily, looking back and forth between my brother, who stood with his arms folded casually across his chest, to Nandalia, who was looking expectantly up at him.

Finally, he sighed. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm s-sure. C-could you g-go get m-me a d-drink. p-please, b-big b-b-brother?" At this, Aarash took a sharp intake of breath, looking between Nandalia and my brother, before his eyes came to rest on the girl once more.

"Nandalia… I-I.. Stay right here. I'll only be a few minutes, okay? Don't go anywhere, got it?"

She nodded. "Y-yeah, g-got it. I-I'm n-not g-going anywhere." She smiled weakly at Aarash, then her face became serious once more. Aarash gave a sharp look to my brother and I, as if daring us to try anything while he was gone, then turned and began to walk in the opposite direction.

"Y-yes. I d-do have f-family b-back h-home. my m-mother and...' she paused, breathing in deeply 'm-my s-step-f-familly."

Step-family? The term was unfamiliar to me. Assef, however, seemed to know what the girl meant, because he gave Nandalia what was supposed to be a sympathetic smile. "Your parents are divorced?" he asked. Divorced? what the fuck did that mean? I was quickly beginning to lose interest in the conversation.

"Brother, let's go. I'm tired of talking to her. We can find out more later. Let's go home," I said in German, tugging on my brother's hand.

"Yeah, sure, kiddo. You start heading outside, I'll be right behind you," he said, though he was still intently focused on Nandalia, who was shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other, not being able to understand a single fucking word of what we were saying.

I hesitated, not wanting to leave without him. I still wasn't comfortable with wandering around here on my own. "A-Assef..." I trailed off, pulling on his shirt sleeve once more, "I-I.. are you s-sure?"

He turned away from Nandalia briefly, leaning over to press a quick kiss to the side of my head. "I'm sure. Nandi and I will only be a few more minutes. I'll catch up with you soon enough, okay? Wait for me outside the mosque, kiddo."

"Fine." I gave my brother a small smile, then turned to the foreign girl standing across from me. "It was nice to meet you... Nandi.." I said the nickname with a hint of contempt in my voice, though she didn't react to it at all. It seemed the confidence she had held when Aarash was around was slowly beginning to dwindle away, though she did appear to be a lot more confident in speaking to us than she had originally been.

"I-it was n-nice m-meeting you too, S-Saria. S-see you s-soon." By the way her voice seemed to crack as she said the words, I could safely say that 'seeing me soon' was probably the last thing on her mind, an opinion I shared with her. The corners of her mouth turned upwards in a lopsided, barely noticeable smile.

"Yeah. See you around," I said. "Assef, I'm going to-" I gestured in the direction of the hallway that led to the side entrance of the mosque, "I'll see you outside?"

"Sure, kiddo. See you in a few minutes." He didn't seem to be listening to me at all, but I didn't care. I needed to get outside, I needed some fucking fresh air. I would go stir crazy if I were to stay around listening to that dumb foreign bitch natter on about her 'divorced' parents, whatever that meant. Besides, Assef had said he would be right behind me.

I turned away from the two, who were still deep in conversation about Nandalia's family, a topic that was incredibly boring to me. 'Who cares about her fucking family?' I thought, 'they obviously don't give a shit about her, otherwise they wouldn't have shipped her all the way out to Kabul to live with Aarash.' I sniggered at the thought, the knowledge that the girl had most likely been abandoned, lost and alone, brought an almost sick sense of satisfaction to my mind.

As I wandered towards the exit I began hearing strange noises coming from down one of the hallways. 'It sounds like a fucking cat is being strangled,' I thought as the noises grew louder. "What the fuck?" I muttered in German. The noises continued to escalate, sounding more and more like a dying animal being put through the worst torture possible. It was starting to grate on my fucking nerves. "They'd better stop or I'll give them something to fucking cry about," I gritted through my teeth as I made my way down the hallway, my curiosity getting the better of me.

I had to know what this noise was. Assef was still conversing with Nandalia, and there was no sign of him anywhere. Not that it really mattered. He could catch up to me later, for all I cared. The noises grew to an even higher pitch, making me cover my ears and groan in frustration. "Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up!" I practically screamed. Whoever this was, they were really starting to get on my nerves.

The hallway was practically deserted, save for a lone figure crumpled in a heap on the floor, face buried in their hands, body quaking with sobs as they wailed loudly. I cocked my head, feeling my eyebrows raise. 'Who the fuck is this sad piece of shit?' I wondered. The crying escalated even more, as I, against my better judgement, began to walk toward the figure. In retrospect, that was a very bad fucking idea.

Something in me was pleading with me to turn back, to just forego my curious nature and return to the safety of the main hallway where my brother and Nandalia were. But when have I ever listened to my rational side?

As I slowly approached the figure, watching their meltdown with baited breath, I was shocked to finally recognise them. 'No. Fucking. Way,' I thought. 'A-Aarash?' I don't know how long I stood there, arms folded over my chest, watching Aarash sob uncontrollably on the floor. It gave me a weird sense of accomplishment to see the boy in such a distressed state. He deserved all this and so much more.

Aarash wiped his eyes, slowly lifting his head so we were now staring right at each other. I felt a cold shiver run up my spine at the look in his eyes. They were the eyes of a wild animal, one that had cornered a wounded antelope and was ready to move in for the kill. Gone was the sorrow, the pain, and in its place was pure, unadulterated rage.

"I-I.." I could barely speak. I stepped back, almost stumbling over myself in my haste to get away.

Aarash struggled to his feet, seeming to be foaming at the mouth as he stalked towards me. I continued to back away, the terror now a prominent feeling taking over my entire mind and body. "You.. little.. fucking BITCH!" he snarled viciously, lunging for me. I let out a high-pitched shriek of terror as he slammed me right against the wall, sending waves of pain shooting up my back and sides.

"Assef!" I screamed as loud as I possibly could, writhing like a fish on a line as Aarash pinned me up against the wall. "Assef, HELP! BROTHER!" I thrashed and yelled as if Satan himself had come to drag me into the deepest level of hell. "A-ASSEF!"

"Shut up, shut the fuck up, you filthy little whore!" Aarash snarled maliciously, backing handing me across the face. My head reeled from the force of the blow, tears pooling in the corners of my eyes. I turned my head away from Aarash, squeezing my eyes shut. I fucking refused to make this easy for him. I wouldn't plead or beg, it would only sweeten this for him.

Aarash grabbed my chin in one hand, the other arm pressed firmly against my chest to stop me from running, not that I would have been able to get far anyway. Why had my cries for help gone unaided? Where was my big brother? Why hadn't he come to my rescue? The look on Aarash's face was absolutely terrifying. It was the same look that he had given me the day he... I shuddered at the memory of it.

No matter how much I tried to convince myself I was a better, stronger person than Aarash, there was no doubt in either of our minds who the person in charge here was. He was the predator now, and I his prey. Just as it had been all those months ago. Aarash, still foaming at the mouth, forced my chin in his direction. "Look at me," he snarled, and I could feel his hot breath on my face, "open your fucking eyes and look. at. me."

I slowly opened my eyes, coming face to face with the monster. He raised his hand, and I braced myself for another blow, though doing so did little to lessen the sting as his hand came down full force upon my cheek. "You, you little cunt!" he growled, "who the fuck do you think you are? How fucking dare you come here? After what you fucking did, you think you can fucking wander in here and disrespect my brother's funeral? Is that it? Come to have a good laugh at my expense, Saria?"

"N-n-n-no.." I could barely get the word out, my eyes stinging with tears of pain, shame and fear. This is not how today should have gone. Why had I not fucking just gone with my instincts, why had I not run when I had the chance? I wanted to kick myself for my poor judgement.

Aarash grabbed a fistful of my hair, slamming my head against the wall. I gasped in pain, and would have crumpled to the ground had it not been for him holding me up. His eyes were rabid, violent. I could practically feel my teeth chattering with fear. I was forced now to continue staring into the face of who was, to me, the most terrifying person on the face of the planet.

He continued to rant, spittle spraying my face. "You have some nerve, you little fucking whore!" His fingers found their way around my throat, and I gasped in shock, pain and absolute terror. "Give me o-one reason why I shouldn't kill you right now?!" he hissed into my ear, applying pressure to my throat, making it difficult to breath. 'S-Shit!' I tried to claw at his hand. 'H-have to t-think! -have t-to-' suddenly I had a thought.

"F-Farsef.." I choked out. I felt Aarash's grip loosen slightly but not by much.

"What?" Aarash snarled.

"Y-you p-promised F-Farsef."

Something flickered across Aarash's face, could I dare to hope that he would listen to my reasoning and set me free? He paused, his eyes seeming to become watery at the mention of his deceased brother's name. Then, his hand closed around my throat once more. "How dare you? How fucking dare you speak his name? You know what? Yes, I did promise that to Farsef.. but what does it matter now? He can't see me! He's dead and it's all your fucking fault, you stupid cunt!"

His fingers tightened around my throat, cutting off my air supply. 'N-no.. I w-won't l-let him.. He w-won't get the b-better of me.' But like it or not, and though I loathed to admit it, I knew Aarash had full control over my fate, over whether I lived or died in this moment.

I bit my lip so hard I could taste my own blood, warm and metallic across my tongue. "N-N-No..." I hated myself for sounding so weak, so pathetic. This was not how I wanted things to go. Aarash tightened his grip around my throat. I struggled like a fish caught on a hook, trying to free myself, but to no avail.

"Stop struggling!" Aarash screamed, drawing his fist high above his head. I closed my eyes and tried to brace myself, ready for him to strike. My heart thudded uncontrollably in my chest. A sickening thud reverberated in my ears, almost causing the foundations of the wall to shake around me. I winced, waiting for the pain that was undoubtedly to follow, but it never came.

'What the fuck?' I thought in confusion. He'd hit me, hadn't he? I'd heard the thud.. So why wasn't I feeling anything? My face should have been throbbing with pain.. but it wasn't. Hesitantly, I opened my eyes. There was a large, fist-shaped hole in the wall beside my head, just adjacent to my head, debris falling at my feet. I could feel some on the back of my dress. My eyes widened in shock.

"Stop. Struggling." Aarash's voice had gone from being loud to very, very quiet, almost to a whisper. For some reason, this scared me more than when he was yelling at me. I lowered my gaze to the ground, almost wanting to pretend this was all some terrible, horrifying nightmare.

"L-Look at me, Saria." He was almost... pleading? I slowly lifted my head, willing to oblige his wishes so as not to anger him further. Our eyes met once again. His were cold, dark like the eyes of a demon, completely devoid of any emotion save for pure, unabashed hatred. It sent a shiver up the base of my spine. I wanted to look away, to look at anything but those cruel, calculating eyes, but for some reason, I could not tear my gaze away.

Aarash grabbed my chin again. He leaned in so we were almost nose to nose. "Listen to me, you little whore, because I'm going to tell you this only once. Stay. Away. From. My. Family. Stay away from me. Stay away from my mother. Stay well and truly away from Nandalia. Do. you. understand? If you don't, I will slit Assef's throat from ear to ear, catch the blood in a fucking cup and make you fucking drink it. Then I'll have my way with you and your precious little Adia, got it?"

I could feel my breath constrict. I nodded frantically. "G-g-g-g-got i-i-i-it.." I whimpered, tears beginning to fall from my eyes. How I despised showing such weakness in front of him. But I couldn't hold back. I broke down into a sobbing fit, my chest heaving with sobs, gasping with each forced intake of breath. Aarash's grip on my chin did not slacken even the tiniest bit. I was now absolutely terrified, chilled to the bone. How could I not be, after hearing such vile threats made against not only me, but the two people I loved and cherished most in the world?

Aarash raised his fist again, and now I knew he wanted to punch me, rather than the drywall. "Stop crying you filthy little-" but, thankfully, he never got to finish that sentence. Through teary, but now joy-filled eyes, I watched as my brother, who had come storming down the hall, grabbed Aarash by the collar and hauled him off me. Assef's eyes were wild, blazing in rage as he forcefully threw Aarash away from me, causing the other boy to stumble against the opposite wall and fall to the floor in a crumpled heap. My brother stalked over to him, drawing his foot back and kicking him full force in the stomach.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he snarled, the tenacity in his voice frightening even me. "You piece of shit.. how dare you lay even a finger on my sister?!" he kicked him again, making Aarash gasp in pain and shock, curling into a ball so as to protect his vital organs from the vicious onslaught. "You have some FUCKING nerve, Aarash, to even think of LOOKING at her after what you've done!"

Aarash, being the idiot he is, must have thought it wise to throw more gasoline on the already smoldering fire. "I have some nerve? I HAVE SOME NERVE?" he tried to rise to his feet, but my brother placed his foot down on Aarash's chest, preventing him from moving any further. Aarash snarled up at him. "Assef, you fucking bastard, after all you and your little slut have done to my family, you are the abusers."

"You can say whatever you fucking want, Aarash, it makes no odds to me. Stay the fuck away from me, my sister, and my family. This shit ends now, do you understand me?"

"Fine," Aarash said after a very long pause.

"Good," Assef was about to lift his foot off of Aarash's chest, but the cunt still had something to say, it seemed.

"I'll stay away. If you stay the fuck away from Nandalia. I saw the way you were looking at her. She doesn't know jack shit, so leave her the fuck alone. I mean it. If you ever, and I mean, ever go near her again, I will fuck your little whore of a sister like I should have done all those months ago. Got it, you fucking cunt?"

"A-A-A-Assef..." I could no longer stand. My legs buckled and I crumpled to the floor, screaming, sobbing my brother's name repeatedly. Assef turned, lifting his foot from off Aarash's chest, his demeanor becoming softer and more gentle as he made his way towards me.

"Kiddo." He knelt down beside me, lifting me to my feet, as I shook all over with fear. "Come on," he said gently, "we're leaving." I wrapped my arms around his neck and he scooped me up, like a parent carrying their fallen child. I leaned my head against his shoulder, my neverending flow of tears saturating it. Assef stole a passing glance at Aarash, still crying heavily on the floor, and began to carry me out of the mosque. Since I weighed only 57 or so pounds, I was lighter than the average twelve-year-old would be.

I clutched pathetically onto him as he carried me outside. The sunlight was blinding, my eyes already stinging from crying so hard. Assef gently hushed me, leading me towards an old, worn out bench just a few feet away from the mosque. I was on the verge of having a full on conniption. "Shh, kiddo, it's okay, calm down, shh.." Assef tried to soothe me, sitting me on his knee and rubbing circles into my back. "It's alright, Saria, it's all over now.. you're fine." But his words could do little to soothe me. I kept thinking Aarash would come storming out of the I mosque, draw a knife from his pocket and make good on his threat to slit my brother's throat.

I clutched onto the fabric of Assef's shirt, wailing like a baby as I buried my face in his chest. Burning hot pain shot through my throat, sides and chest. My heart was thudding to the point I was certain it would fall out of my chest. In the back of my mind, I reproved myself for my lack of maturity and common sense, knowing full well that I was perfectly safe now. Yet, on the other hand, how could I not be upset? Today had gone from being simply tedious and slightly awkward, to being absolute hell on Earth.

"Shh, kiddo. It's alright," Assef tried to console me. Tried being the operative word. He cradled me gently against his chest, rocking me back and forth, humming softly to me in German. "It's okay, now.. just relax. You're fine. He's gone now. He won't be laying a hand on you ever again, little sister." I sniffled, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, my breathing becoming softer and more laboured as I began to calm down.

"H-hurts," I muttered, my voice barely above a whisper. I found it hard to talk through the pain that had started shooting up and down my sides. I could barely breathe without an iron hot pain overcoming me. Of course, the fact I was crying hysterically probably did little to help that also, didn't it? "A-A-Assef.. it h-hurts.."

"What hurts? What did he do to you?" Assef asked frantically, pulling back and scrutinising me. "Saria, kiddo, what. did. he. do?"

"S-slammed me into a w-wall. My sides.. my throat.. they hurt so b-badly.." I whimpered at the pain it took to force each word from my mouth. It was like someone had taken a red hot poker to every part of my body. The pain only served to make the tears flow faster. Assef, taking great care so as not to jostle me too much, shifted his body so as to get us both in a more comfortable position.

My brother continued to stroke my hair, humming to me in German. Slowly, I began to calm down, though the pain was still shooting right up my sides, chest and throat. 'Fucking Aarash probably damaged my goddamn ribs. Just fucking great,' I thought sarcastically. I leaned my head against my brother's shoulder, closing my eyes as I listened to the soothing sounds of his voice and heartbeat. Assef leaned down to press a gentle kiss to my cheek.

"Better?"

I nodded. "Y-yeah. A l-little."

"Good. Now, Saria," he tilted my chin so I was looking directly in his blue eyes, so much like my own. Oh. I knew that look. It was 'serious discussion' time. Joy of fucking joys. Did I really need a lecture? Assef obviously seemed to believe so, if the tone of his voice was anything to go by. "sister, why were you wandering through the hallways on your own? You knew full well that Aarash was going to be in a foul mood today, do you honestly lack the foresight and common sense to not go wandering aimlessly?" I ignored him, though I could feel annoyance rising within me. My brother had no right to get up on his fucking high horse about this! Assef arched an eyebrow. "Saria, answer me, kiddo. Why were you down that hallway by yourself?"

"I-I.." I hesitated, not wanting to irritate him any further. Assef looked stern, and I knew he wanted an answer. "I thought you were behind me. I d-didn't mean to just wander off. You promised me you would be there. I honestly thought.. w-when I saw Aarash.. I tried to run but.. but he was too s-strong. I cried out for you, did you not hear me screaming your n-n-name?"

"You.. you thought..." A strange, unreadable expression passed fleetingly over Assef's face for a second. He tenderly reached out and wiped a tear that had stained my pale cheek. His countenance became soft and gentle once again as he gathered me into his arms once more. "You thought that I was there? Is that why you went down that hall?"

"Yeah.. I-I.." I hesitated, not wanting to pin all the blame solely upon Assef's shoulders. The only person at fault for hurting me was that cunt Aarash. But I knew my brother would not rest until he got answers from me. "I honestly thought you were there with me and I was stupidly curious when I heard Aarash crying. You and that Nandalia cunt were talking and I wanted to.. I needed to get the fuck out of there. It.." I broke down again, burying my face in my hands. "You don't need to say it, brother. I was an idiot."

Assef's breath hitched. "You're not the idiot, little sister. I am. God. I had no fucking idea you weren't with me. I was so focused on Nandalia, I completely forgot all about you. I.." he brushed a lock of hair back from my face. "And look what happened? You could have been.. he could have.. c-choked you to death, had I not come when I did. I.. God, kiddo, I'm so sorry. Yet again I prove myself to be completely incompetent. My stupidity caused you to get hurt. Again. I'm such a pathetic excuse for a brother. I'm-"

I cut across him, not wanting to hear any more self-pity ramblings. "Assef, it's okay. This isn't your fault. You're not an idiot and you're not an incompetent or pathetic excuse for a brother. All of this is A-A-Aar.." I could hardly say his name, "is his fault. You hear? Not mine, not yours. His. Please don't blame yourself for this."

"I love you, kiddo." Assef lifted me off his lap, depositing me at his side. He threw an arm over my shoulder and leaned his head against mine. "I love you so, so very much. If I had to, I'd give up my own life to ensure you never had to go through this pain ever again. But you have my word that I will never allow Aarash to even think of laying a hand on you again. I promise you that," Assef said with strong conviction in his voice.

"I love you, brother." And really, what else was there to say? Those three simple words had summed up the entirety of my emotions at that very moment in time. True, we still had to deal with Nandalia, and there was no telling whether or not the girl would become a threat to us at a later stage. I knew Aarash would not just let this whole ordeal go, especially now that we had, for him, completely ruined his brother's funeral. I knew that there was still hardships to be had, the road laid out before us would not be an easy one. But for now, in this moment, as my brother took my hand and began to lead me away from the mosque, as we began our journey to the comfort of our home, I knew we had gained a victory.

Perhaps then I was not a fool to hope a brighter future was just around the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter, normality finally returns to Saria and Assef's life as they begin to rebuild their broken relationships with Adia and Kamal respectively. Thank you to all the fans, readers and subscribers for their continued support. 37 chapters of this series and here's to many, many more. :)


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